Chapter Three - Dementors, The Sorting and Remus Lupin
September 1st 1993
Liz clutched the poster of Sirius Black in her hand tightly. She knew she shouldn't have taken the stupid thing from one of the shop windows in Hogsmeade but she couldn't help it, and everyone else had had one too many Fire Whiskeys to notice. That had been a few weeks back and ever since then it had stayed crumpled up in her trouser pocket. Until now.
She glanced up from the page and looked once again out of the classroom window which overlooked the grounds.
She couldn't see them, which scared her a bit. But they were out there, guarding the entrances to the grounds of the school, and they were looking for him.
For her Sirius… or what's left of him, if anything even was…
Perhaps she should have felt thankful for the extra protection the dementors provided the school against an alleged mass murderer, yet the feeling in her gut told her nothing good could come from such… things. Dementors
Whatever they were. She shuddered at the thought.
The page crumpled in her hand once more and she shoved it far into her pocket, out of site.
Liz turned away from the window and took a deep breath, nodding to herself as she went over the list in her head, the very alive potted plant from Professor Sprout, waving its leaves at her.
Classroom ready, check. Classes and assignments are planned and ready, check. The feeling of impending doom? Definitely.
It was late afternoon and the students were on their way on the Hogwarts Express and Liz had spent most of the day flittering all over the place. Checking and re-checking all she had prepared over the last few weeks was ready.
The school was full of life, and Liz felt out of place once more. No more milling about the place, taking her time and enjoying the scenery. It was full speed ahead and no stopping now. Soon her classroom, which up until now had been relatively peaceful, will be filled with Children looking to her for guidance. And in Liz's humble opinion, no one should be looking for guidance from her; she's barely got her life together as is.
She had two other things to be worried about in the coming hours.
One, she would finally be seeing her godson again, the boy she hadn't seen since he was in nappies and didn't know she existed.
And two, Remus Lupin, an old friend she hadn't seen since their argument after Sirius was arrested, cutting off the friendship on bad terms, was also on his way and he very much knew who she was.
The bitter hurt she had felt from their last interaction had long faded, and all she was left with was guilt and regret. She just hoped he didn't hate her.
Pushing aside those thoughts, she focused on the evening ahead. She was really quite excited to witness her first welcome feast, to see the sorting ceremony in all its glory. She was always jealous hearing the Marauder boys talk about school, and now here she was about to experience it all, just from a different seat.
After her third cup of tea in a short amount of time, Liz stared at the outfit that sat in front of her. She dressed in her usual tartan trousers and cardigan, but there was one more piece to make it complete. Minerva had arrived a few evenings ago with a set of robes just for Liz; a gift from the Professors she said. They were a warm brown, thick but light and fit her just right.
She felt a warm bundle of nerves in her stomach every time she glanced at it over the last few days, and now it was time.
She pulled the comfy robes on, fussing in the mirror to ensure they were on the right, and looked good. She wanted to impress them all, impress anyone who might have doubts about her abilities, the same doubts she had herself.
She flattened her fringe and took a deep breath, nodding to herself encouragingly when there was a knock on the door.
Opening it, she smiled up at Hagrid, "Hello Hagrid, that time already?"
"Jus' about! And look at you! A proper professor if I ever saw one."
Liz was unable to keep the pleased blush from her face. "Do you really think so?"
Hagrid beamed in approval, "I've got to head down to Hogsmeade to collect the firs' years, but I can walk with you to the Great Hall if you like?"
"That would be great Hagrid, thanks." She said, appreciative of his offer. Somehow being with a giant helped ease one's worries.
Hagrid did most of the talking as they made their way down to the Entrance Hall, explaining once again his job for the night- collecting the first years for their warm welcome boating across the lake to the castle. Liz had asked Hagrid to bring her some time, she could only imagine what a sight it would be to cross the lake under the stars and moonlight.
Liz twiddled her fingers, nodding to those they passed in the halls. As they approached the Great Hall Liz forced herself to take a few deep breaths. Hagrid glanced at her and said, "Well… I'll see you during the feast."
Liz realised Hagrid must have felt just as nervous as she did. She tried her best to be reassuring, "I'll save you a seat." She smiled.
Hagrid beamed and let out a breath, "...Well… I'll leave you here then. Off to get the firs' years!"
They nervously exchanged goodbyes and Liz watched Hagrid leave through the large entrance doors, before turning, robes floating around her legs, and looking into the Great Hall.
There were a few people (and ghosts - that took some getting used to) already mulling about and the walk from the doors to the head table at the back of the room felt very far away.
Liz slowly stepped into the threshold, heels clicking off the stone floor beneath her as she began to make her way to her seat, taking in the surroundings as she did so.
She had come to the Great Hall many times to eat since she had arrived, but it looked particularly splendid tonight. Golden plates and goblets lined the long tables and the room was lit in the glow of hundreds of floating candles above her head. The room was warm and comforting, grand yet homey. Liz couldn't help but smile in awe.
"Good evening Liz!" Professor Flitwick squeaked from his seat atop a pile of pillows. Professor Sprout smiled warmly from beside him and added, "How are you feeling?"
Liz returned the smile and said "Nervous, but in a good way. I'm excited to see how everything happens, the sorting and all." It was at that moment that Liz noticed the man she had been avoiding since she had arrived, was glaring her way. Liz peeked over at him and as they made eye contact, Snape sneered, very obviously not happy with her presence.
Severus Snape was not someone she knew well at all, but she knew enough. And so did he, as his instant dislike toward her spelt out very clearly. There was no doubt in Liz's mind that Snape remembered just who she was and who she had associated with.
Liz looked away quickly, and back to the two much happier faces.
"-Oh, it's always a good evening!" Professor Sprout said, then indicated to the empty seat beside her, "You can come and sit next to me if you like."
"Yes, that would be great thank you." Liz nodded and made her way around the table, happy that there was another empty seat on her other side which she could save for Hagrid.
Soon the rest of the Professors had gathered and taken their seats, and the house ghosts floated through the air above the tables. Dumbledore greeted her along with the others, before taking Professor McGonagall to the side and discussing something quickly. McGonagall then made her way down toward the entrance hall out of sight, just as the room began to flood with students.
Liz sat up straighter as she took them in, eyes running over their faces, the colour of their robes and the groups they moved in. The first years were absent of course, making their way over with Hagrid. These children were older, and settled into a routine. Much more intimidating that's for sure.
And yet she couldn't look away. Somewhere in that sea of students, Harry Potter was surely making his way to the Gryffindor table. It was strange, the bundle of nerves that seemed to have been building up over the last month had dissipated and instead was replaced with the urge to rise from her seat and stand on her tippy toes to find the dark-haired boy. …not that she would know what to say once she did.
It took her a moment to realise who was coming in her direction. It made sense, of course, every other professor was seated except for him and Hagrid. And Dumbledore had told her he would be arriving on the train. Yet somehow she had managed to push Remus Lupin firmly from her mind.
And now here he was taking a seat a few down from her at this very table.
Liz took the opportunity to ignore the presence not far from her by giving all her attention to Professor Flitwick as the Sorting Ceremony began. Hagrid had made his way in behind the first years and accepted the seat beside Liz with a grateful smile. Liz watched in fascination as the students came up one by one, the Sorting Hat shouting out a House for all to hear, the tables erupting in applause as a shy first year made their way to their seat.
It was after the ceremony had finished that she finally spotted him. He entered the Great Hall with a bushy-haired girl and Professor McGonagall who was currently walking swiftly toward the staff table. Harry Potter, the spitting image of his father, weaved his way toward the Gryffindor table and sat beside a lanky ginger boy.
Liz felt Hagid lean toward her, "You okay?" He whispered, obviously having noticed where her gaze had landed.
"Yeah." She smiled warmly, her gaze running back across the Gryffindor table.
She wondered if he liked the Custard Tarts. Did he even get them?
"That's Ron and Hermione," Hagrid nodded toward the two Harry now sat in quiet conversation with, "Best friends them three."
Before she could respond Dumbledore stood up, "Welcome!" he said, "Welcome to another year of Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…"
Liz clutched her hands in her lap, suddenly very aware that all eyes were looking in the direction of the staff table, and there were surely students curious as to who the new faces were. Liz forced herself to look to the headmaster and forget about the rest for the moment.
Dumbledore continued, "As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business." A slightly grim look settled on Dumbledore's face, "They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises - or even invisibility cloaks. It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses." Liz shivered at the image conjured up in her mind of such beings, "I, therefore, warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs foul of the Dementors."
A pause followed as Dumbledore looked around, not a peep coming from anyone in the Hall. The silence unnerved her.
"On a happier note," He continued with a slightly cheerier tone, "I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year."
"Firstly, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher." The nerves in Liz's stomach did a summersault, and she chanced a glance along the table toward Remus. He was looking around and smiling politely at the scattered applause. Liz joined in, clapping her hands whilst staring down at the gold plate on the table.
"Next! A very special appointment." Dumbledore looked over to her eyes twinkling. Liz tried really hard not to shrink down into her seat. "I am delighted to welcome Hogwart's first ever Muggle teacher." Immediately she felt all eyes on her, whispers erupting from all ends of the hall, "Professor Matthews will be teaching Muggle Studies, a subject she is an expert in as you can imagine."
Liz rolled her eyes lightly at him, blushing as a quick applause filled the room once more.
"And finally!" Dumbledore said once the applause died down, "Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs. However, I am delighted to say that his palace will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties."
Hagrid had gone just as red in the face as Liz, a grin visible through his thick black beard. Applause spread throughout the hall, particularly loud and proud from the Gryffindor table. Liz noticed it was Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione who were the last to stop clapping. She turned to whisper words of encouragement to Hagrid and noticed he was tearing up.
As subtly as possible, Liz passed her napkin to Hagrid who immediately brought it to his eyes. Liz suppressed a smile
"Well, I think that's everything of importance!" Dumbledore beamed, "Let the feast begin!" And just like that, the table in front of them was filled with food and drink. Liz jumped slightly at the motion, laughing.
Liz hadn't had such a feast in a very long time. Cooking for one wasn't always the most exciting, so she happily indulged in the many dishes which now littered the table. She watched and listened to all the chatter around her, and in the light of the warm candles, she felt something she hadn't in a long time.
Home. Safe.
That is, until she saw them approaching. Harry and his two friends pushed their way through the crowd grinning as they approached Hagrid. Liz froze unable to look away as they stopped in front of the staff table.
"Congrats Hagrid!" Harry exclaimed. Liz resisted the urge to rise from her seat and instead clutched her hands tightly in her lap.
"Yeah, bloody brilliant! You never said anything!" The lanky ginger boy said.
Hagrid blushed, as the congratulations and praise showered him. Liz was slightly concerned when he even started to cry.
She picked up the closest napkin she could find and went to hand it to him, but Hagrid had already begun to sob into the tablecloth.
"Hello Professor."
Liz jumped when she realised the girl of the trio was beaming at her kindly, brimming with curiosity.
"Oh, Hello." Liz stuttered out, cringing at how un-professor-like she sounded.
The young girl opened her mouth to speak once more, but Liz was saved by Minerva who bustled over to shoo the kids away, lest they cause Hagrid to completely ruin the table cloth.
And from the reassuring look she gave her, Liz expected that she was trying to help her out of an awkward first interaction.
Liz gave the older woman a grateful look and patted Hagrid's massive arm. She almost fell out of her chair as Hagrid turned to cry into her shoulder. Or at least he tried to… he really was sitting at an awkward angle.
Liz looked up to watch the trio walking towards the large doors, spirits high and inhaled quickly when Harry took a look over his shoulder. He must have been looking back at Hagrid, but it was Liz who he made eye contact with.
Liz raised her hand and gave him a small, hesitant wave.
And without knowing how much it meant to her, he did the same.
—-
Christmas Eve 1975
"You can just leave your coat here if you want," Lizzy took her own coat and scarf off and hanging them on the rack by the front door. Sirius followed suit, looking around the small entrance hall.
Lizzy smiled awkwardly. "Uh… this way." Still grasping the shopping bags she made her way down the hall, past the living room and into the kitchen.
"You can sit at the table, I shouldn't take long." Lizzy had never felt so awkward and was beginning to question why on earth she had invited what was essentially a stranger into her home.
"Do you mind if I watch?" Sirius said with genuine curiosity.
Lizzy blinked as she placed a pot on the stovetop, "Sure, I mean, it's not too exciting, just stirring stuff together," she shrugged smiling.
Sirius jumped in surprise when the stove top lit up, flames licking the bottom of the pot.
"How does that work?" He asked as she poured two mug fulls of milk into the saucer.
"What?" Seeing what he was staring at, she gave him a questioning look, "It's a gas cooker. What, do you have an electric?"
"What?" Sirius looked away from the flame, "Oh, uh… yeah we have… that."
She was watching him curiously, trying to read him like a book. Sirius shot her a wolfish grin in hopes of moving the conversation on. Her interest lingered, but she looked away quickly.
As a way to diffuse the awkwardness, she asked Sirius to help break up the blocks of chocolate, and she had to repress a giggle at the overly cautious way she placed them in the hot milk mixture.
"Just throw them in!" She laughed.
Sirius scowled, "I did do that! The milk jumped up and burnt me."
Rolling her eyes she took the remainder of the chocolate and placed them into the pot as she had done many times before, "Clearly you're just not that fast."
"What! I am so fast." He made some flowing movements with his arm, feet moving, "In fact I'm so fast you didn't even see me leave the room and come back."
"Uh huh," Her eyes were filled with mirth, "Wow, colour me impressed speedy."
He grinned leaning back against the counter, and a comfortable silence fell over them as Lizzy finished up their hot chocolates.
"Here," She handed one to him then took the other into her hands, humming at the sweet, comforting smell that hit her nose. "Come on," She nodded her head and he once again followed her, this time ending up in the livingroom.
It almost reminded Sirius of the Gryffindor common room, though, obviously a lot smaller. Two cushy armchairs sat close to a roaring fire, and a sofa covered in mismatched blankets and pillows sat near a thick black box. There was a Christmas tree in the corner, nowhere near as grand as the ones Sirius was used to seeing, both at home and at Hogwarts, nor was it particularly graceful looking with its different colours and random baubles. Sirius thought it was charming and found he very much enjoyed being somewhere that was so the opposite of anything you would find in the Great House of Black.
They plopped themselves down on the two armchairs, the heat of the fire warming their cheeks hiding the subtle blushes as they talked the night away.
She was timid while she spoke of her family's past, the tragic passing of her two sisters many years before and the struggle to move forward through the grief. She didn't know why she felt so comfortable talking about it all, there was just a part of her that knew he wouldn't judge.
Evidently, he felt the same. Of course, Sirius had to skirt around the discussion of magic but felt a weight lifting from his shoulders as he discussed the dysfunction of his family.
As he left the home, she wished him a Merry Christmas, blushing and smiling meekly. When his head hit the pillow, he played that moment over and over in his head.
A Merry Christmas indeed.