Warning for this book. It's Rated M for 18 and up only due to content such as language and violence.
Also, I don't own anything from Sons of Anarchy as Kurt Sutter is it's creator. I only own this idea and some original characters of mine not in the show.
Chapter One: A New Start
There was one thing in my life that I hated and that was seeing my mom in pain or scared. She often thought that I stuck by my name of Audrey Diamond Teller, with my first name meaning noble strength and my middle name means strength, purity, and eternal love. I know my mom would get upset at times when she got called to the principal's office about five times in one year when I was in sixth grade, but I had a "short fuse" as my mom would say. I did have ADHD with a side of anxiety since the whole Josh Kohn, mom's crazy ex-boyfriend fiasco. Well, the ADHD I was born with so I can't blame him for all my problems.
After sixth grade year ended with a flare of danger, mom and I moved from Chicago, Illinois to Charming, California two months ago. I didn't understand why we were moving a small town in the first place until my mom told me she used to live here til she left after graduation. Still, wouldn't a small town be easier to find us if Kohn was looking? Especially if she lived here before and had history here. Mom was just vague, saying we'd be safe.
I sigh, running a hand through my curly dark brown hair that's almost identical to my mom's if she didn't straighten her hair. Although my hair went a little past my shoulders and I had front bangs that landed a little bit above my eyebrows with a streak of blonde. A lot of people say I look like a mini Tara Knowles, except my eyes. Her's were dark brown like chocolate while mine were deep blue. I was more of a tomboy than the girls I was used to in Chicago as I wore flannel mainly with jeans or basketball shorts if I didn't care to look nice with my white high top converse. Right now, I wore basketball shorts and a white muscle shirt with a flannel over it.
I was currently waiting for my mom as she was performing surgery on a baby with a heart problem. I sat in the waiting room, reading "To Kill a Mockingbird", while I keep bouncing my knee like I always do when I'm trying to focus. Thankfully I took some adderall after lunch to help me. I just hate waiting for my mom while she's in surgery, mainly because I'm alone. I look up, wondering if my mom is done, so I decide to say screw it as I got off the chair for the millionth time except this time it wasn't to pace. I hum as I walk through some doors to see my mom talking with a taller guy with a Sons of Anarchy kutte. I raise my eyebrows as it looks like they're having some Romeo and Juliet moment. "Mom?" I said, making her jump away from the guy as he looks behind him at me.
"Uh, Audrey, I thought you were waiting for me to get you?" She says, walking around the guy as I eye him and vice versa.
"Are you done with surgery?" I asked, noticing that the guy had his hoodie open, showing some blood on his shirt.
"Yeah, do you have all of your stuff?" She asked, as the guy turns and walks away from us. I point to my backpack on my shoulder, frowning once I look over at my mom to see blood stains on her lab coat.
"Who's that guy?" I asked, worried once I notice the frown on her face.
"He's an old friend that I'm helping. His baby was the one in surgery and survived," She says, crossing her arms as I tilt my head. "Come on, honey..."
A few days later and after some convincing, I was on my skateboard as I rode through town with my black and neon pink backpack. I wore my heart sunglasses with basketball shorts and a black tank top due to the heat. I looked on the road when I heard a rumble of a motorcycle, seeing more of those kuttes from the other day when my mom was talking to that blond guy with the blue eyes. I looked back over in front of me as I tried not to think about the blood stain on my mom's coat. The last time I saw blood on my mom it was her's from her crazy stalker ex-boyfriend.
I used my foot to propel forward to go faster on my board, nodding my head at a few people I passed on the way. I kick my board when I see a sign, my eyebrows furrowing as I see the bikers turn into the lot and going through the opened fence. I eye the sign that says, "Teller-Morrow Auto Shop", and look around me to see if anyone was watching me as I kicked up my skateboard, grabbing it as I cross the street. I walk pass the fence, curiosity taking over me, as I remember mom telling me to stay away from the lot.
I also know that someone in Charming with the last name Teller got my mom pregnant with me, which she doesn't know that I know. The only thing my mom told me about my dad was that he died in a shooting before I was born, but I read some old journal of her's that wrote about a guy named Teller, who she loved a lot, that knocked her up. That's where I got my last name from, but I never got a first name or anything after she found out she was pregnant. Most of her journal consisted of her thoughts about some club that she didn't trust and how she wanted a better life. She wanted to leave Charming behind. Which is why I was walking in the lot, wondering if I could get some answers or an idea of who my father was.
I looked around the parking lot, pushing my sunglasses up as I held my skateboard. There were a bunch of guys wearing those kuttes and some wearing a mechanic uniform. They didn't seem to notice me til I got closer at the shop, one of them wearing dark clothes with the kutte and white hair with dark sunglasses tilted his head. "The ice cream shop is down the street, kid!" He says, gaining the attention of a lot of the other men.
"I'm not really into ice cream right now, old man," I said, looking around as an older woman with dark hair and blonde highlights, almost similar to mine. "Why's the auto shop called, Teller-Morrow? Is it a family business?" I asked, pointing to the sign.
"Why do you want to know, kid?" The older woman said, hands on her hips once she got closer to me. I sigh, putting my sunglasses on my head, before glancing at her and the old man.
"My mom used to live here about twelve or so years ago, but she left," I replied, watching as she furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her head. Before she could say anything, a voice yelled out.
"Hey, mom!" The blond guy from a few days ago, yelled out as he walked out of the clubhouse. I look over at him, noticing the same kutte and that he didn't seem to have any blood on him this time. "Audrey, right?" He asked, once he got closer to us and pointed at my black skateboard.
"Do I know you?" I asked, causing him to smile as the older woman he called mom arched an eyebrow at me. "Do you know my mom?"
"Yeah, we were close a while ago. Did she send you here?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest as his mom eyed us.
"I was passing through when I noticed the sign is all," I replied, shrugging as I look over my shoulder at the sign.
"Who's your mom?" The old lady asked as I eye her.
"Tara Knowles. She's the doctor that saved his son," I replied, noticing her eyes get wide before looking at her son. He just shrugged his shoulders. "Since I answered your question, can you answer mine about the sign?"
"My first husband and his best friend started this business years ago..." I nodded my head as the blond guy eyed his mother when she answered. "How old are you, Miss. Knowles?"
"I'll be twelve in a month and it's Miss. Teller from my dead dad, so yeah," I said, eyebrows furrowing as I notice the blond guy look pale all of a sudden as the older lady was staring at me. Then, my phone started going off and I grabbed it before seeing that it's my mom calling me and I notice the time. "Shit!" I say, backing away before answering the call. "Hey, mom."
"Where are you? You're supposed to meet me after my shift ends to go get lunch and take your adderall," Mom says on the phone as I turn away from the two.
"I'll be there in like twenty minutes. I forgot the time," I replied, my foot taping as I held my board tighter.
"I'll just pick you up. Where are you?" She asks and I go silent, trying to figure out how to lie to her and not get into trouble. I guess, I was silent too long when she spoke up, "Where are you, Audrey?"
"Um... On the other side of the fence?" I said without thinking it through, more like questioned it really. Man, I need to work on my lying skills.
"Don't play around or lie to me. Are you in trouble?"
"I don't know, am I?" I sassed, slapping my hand over my mouth and dropping my skateboard in the process. I really need to control my level of sass, more so with my mom.
"Now I'm worried. Please just tell me before I call the cops. You know I will," She says and I groan, squeezing my eyes shut.
"I'm at the auto shop. Teller-Morrow, ever heard of it?" I said, cringing as she swore and I heard her car in the background swerve.
"Stay there. I'll be right there. Don't talk to anyone, you here me?"
"Why? It's not like one of them is my dead father or a killer!" I said, almost yelling as my temper was increasing.
"Because I'm your mother and I'm trying to pro-"
"Oh, really mom? Protect me from what!" I shout, before hanging up as I was getting more upset by the second. She's keeping something from me and I'm not completely stupid. There's something in Charming that she wants to keep from me and it's in this stupid parking lot. I roll my eyes, shutting off my phone as my mom calls me again. I turn around to face the guy and older lady, both in a heated discussion of some whispers that stopped when they noticed me. "My mom is picking me up... Probably to yell at me, just a fair warning," I said, picking up my skateboard from the ground.
"Oh, you're not the one in trouble," The lady said, glaring at the guy and I raise an eyebrow.
"Who are you guys, by the way?" I asked, hoping to distract myself as I tap my foot quickly on the ground.
"I'm Gemma and this is my son, Jax Teller," She says, narrowing her eyes at him as he ran a hand through his hair. My eyes widen as I heard his last name, smiling for a moment.
"Teller? That's cool. Same last name. Did you have another Teller in your family that died in a shooting, by chance?" I asked, looking around again before my eyes connected to his, blue on blue. The older lady, Gemma, scoffed as she shook her head and Jax just stared at me. "What?" I said, feeling kind of creeped out.
"Honey... No one in our family for a long time has died in a shooting. Your mother lied to you," Gemma said, making me narrow my eyes at her.
"She wouldn't lie to me about my dad being dead. I don't know a thing about you, lady, and you know nothing of me or my mom," I snapped back. She just gave me a sad smile as Jax frowned down at me.
"Well, your mom and Jax were together for three years-"
"Ma!"
"No, she needs to know like you should've known!" Gemma shouts, my body freezing up. She looks me in the eye and sighs. "Your mom left Charming when she was eighteen, just after high school. She left without a word and left him dry and high. Now it makes more sense..."
"No, you're lying!" I shout, stepping away from her and Jax. I shook my head as my mom's car pulls into the lot and I turn around, eyes tearing up as my thoughts were racing. Mom gets out and freezes as she looks behind me at them before she looks down at me, running over to me as I stood still. Her eyes gave her away in the end when she kept glancing back and forth.
"Audrey! Are you-" She began, stopping in front of me, but before she could touch me I smacked her hands away.
"You-you..." I couldn't even say the words. Her eyes tear up, breaking my heart as I hate seeing her tears, but I hate liars more. "I can't... You lied..." I said, gasping for air as I felt an array of emotions in me.
"Audrey, breathe-" She went to touch me again, I slapped her hands away. Tears blurred my vision as my heart was pounding away.
"What's happening?" Jax asked, walking over and looking conflicted.
"She's having a panic attack, sweetheart. Try to concentrate on my voice. Okay?" Mom says as I kept gasping for air like I couldn't breathe. She knelt in front of me, our eyes finally linked and it's like all my emotions froze. All my sadness and pain turned into one emotion I could focus on that my therapist was working with me on. I snapped, slapping her in the face and shoving her away from me, letting my rage out instead.
"Audrey!" Jax yelled, going to pull me away from my mother. I screamed at him when he got too close, grabbing my skateboard and swinging it at him. He dodged it barely as my mom got off the ground.
"Stop, Audrey! Try to-" My mom yelled, but I didn't care. I broke when she called my name and I dodged her as she went to try to get my skateboard.
"You lying, bitch!" I yelled, not caring in the world what happened to me for swearing at my own mother. I held up my skateboard, eyes darting as Jax stood close, hands up in surrender like that would calm me down. "How could you, mother! How could you fucking lie to me!"
"Drop your skateboard, now!" She said, voice raised as she stood a few feet away with tears falling down her eyes.
"Real mother of the year," Gemma said, her arms crossed as she eyed my mother.
"I cried for a fucking week, mom! I was six years old! How could you do that to me?!" I yelled, face going red as she took a step towards me. Jax did the same, but came too close as I swung and he grabbed my skateboard. He tried pulling it from me, but I growled as I hugged it to me and tried kicking him. Mom quickly went around to help, holding me to her and pining my arms to my sides. "Let go! Let go!"
"I need you to calm down," Mom says when Jax pulled the skateboard from me and threw it further away. I tried kicking as I screamed at her to let me go. My mind going wild as she told him to grab my legs. He quickly grabbed my legs as she held me to her, holding my arms across my chest and making sure her head was above mine as I tried to get free. "Sweetheart, please just breathe. In and out," She said, holding me as I felt panic set in. My heart racing as I was gasping for air.
"I can't breathe! Let me go!"
"Don't let her go, Jax. Okay?" Mom says as I can't seem to move. I start crying, gasping to breathe. "In and out, come on. You can do it," She tried to say as I looked to the sky.
"No, I can't! I can't!" I cried, gasping.
"Hey," Jax said, sitting near me so I can look at him. I felt my heart beating faster, vision blurry as he held my face softly. "You can do this. Just copy me, okay? In-" He took a deep breathe before exhaling. "And out... You can do this, Audrey." I nod my head as I inhale and exhale with him, trembling in my mother's arms. After a few moments, I felt it was easier to breathe and that I was more calm. My anger gone and the emotions leftover was just... sadness and regret. "You okay?" Jax says, voice soft as he ran a hand through my hair. Tears in my eyes as I nod my head after a moment.
"I'm sorry..." I say as my mom let's me go. I sat up and ducked my head as Jax was sitting on his knees. I look up at him, crying still as my shoulders shake. "Can you... hug me?" I asked, voice small as my lips trembled and I waited for his rejection. I mean, I didn't try to hit him with my skateboard and I caused a scene. Again.
"Of course," He says and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my back. I start sobbing as I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling so much pain and like this is all some dream of mine.
My dad was holding me... My mom lied to me...