HEY GUYS!!! I AM REALLY TRYING TO PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS STORY. IM REREADING PREVIOUS CHAPTERS SO I CAN MAKE THEM BETTER WHEN I EDIT THEM AGAIN, ILL UPDATE YOU IF I HAVE BUT SO FAR HERE IS CHAPTER 10 THANK YIU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND AMAZING COMPLIMENTS, I LOVE YOU ALL
Chapter 10 ~ Better?
12:15. Hermione had spent most of this night working on her arithmancy homework. She only checked the time when she saw Harry enter, his hand looking more severed than usual after his detention.
"Oh my god," Hermione whispered, her hand covering her mouth in shock. "Here." She sat Harry down, dipping his hand in a bowl of liquid.
"Hermione what-?"
"Essence of murtlap, read it in Healing Potions and Herbal Essences." Harry chuckled lightly. At this Ron came fumbling down the stairs.
" 'lo Mate," Ron yawned, flopping onto the couch cushion beside Harry.
"So," Hermione began, "I was thinking about the defense club idea and I asked a few friends to go to the Hogs Head this Hogsmeade weekend to ask them to join." Harry looked a bit on edge with the prospect of this. He looked between his friends and agreed.
"Just a few?"
"Just a few." Smiling tiredly she stood up, announcing her depature and climbed up the stairs to her warm comfy bed. Entering the comfortably silent room she crept into the bathroom, changing her clothes she crawled into her bed.
Laying there Hermione gazed into the ceiling of her four poster her eyes refused to shut. Her brain on super speed unable to calm. This often happened to Hermione, ever since she was young she had always been smart. Her intellect was higher than all the other kids.
When she was a child she was bullied mercilessly, she was a bossy control freak who read her way through her childhood.
Moving from school to school, skipping grades, but always without friends. When she had gotten her Hogwarts letter Hermione was ecstatic. Finally! A new start. New learning matieral, a new school,and ... friends?
Once she got there she realized that it wasn't going to be as different as Hermione had hoped. From her first potions class she knew rhat. It was as she walked from her potions class, Draco Malfoy had stopped her, calling her a filthly mudblood.
He left Hermione confused but hurt. That night she walked back into her dorm, the girls in her dorm gathered on the floor gossiping as they do still.
Her social skills were not what they were now before she had met her two best friends. Sitting down in the little circle she had asked them abruptly what a mudblood was. They all looked at one another the eyes wide. 'You don't know?
How could you not know?' They had asked Hermione. She felt red fill her face embarrassedly. Parvarti sensed this and gave her the explanation of blood purity leaving Hermione unable to sleep the rest of the night.
This night was similar in a way. Laying again staring at the ceiling of her bed she thought back to her meeting with Professor Snape "...your nightmares. You stated that they were quite...vivid for a matter of speaking.." he had said in his condescending careless tone. It angered her slightly. She felt the ever so slight phantom pain of the scar on her arm. The bullying from Malfoy had also spiked this year. It almost felt more personal, especially since he knew of Bellatrix torturing her.
Rolling onto her side she checked the time. 2:24. Closing her eyes she allowed herself to relax, blackness surrounding her vision. Slipping into a calming sleep.
...
"Hermione? Hermione!" Her eyes snapped open to see Lavender's concerned face.
"Wha?"
"You need to get up, its 6:30. Everyone else is asleep." Hermione eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Classes don't start till 8:30? Why did you-"
"So you can get ready. In private. I know you don't like to change infront of us anymore," her eyes drifted to Hermione covered arm. "Anyways, bathroom yours." Rubbing Hermiones hand affectionately,she left the room.
Hermione slipped into the bathroom, shock still in her system. Lavander was never rhis nice. Changing quickly she let her hair fall on her shoulders today. Waves flowing and less puffy than usual.
Leaving the potrait hole she went to the Great Hall, unraveling the paper that fell into her lap she read the disturbing headline.
MUGGLES FOUND DEAD IN YORKSHIRE
On the eve of tuesday night the 23rd of Janurary, aurors were called to a muggle home just near Yorkshire by magical beings in the area. Ministry intelligence reports that bouts of the cruciatus curse were detected along with three reports of the killing curse. Three muggles were found dead at the scene, two adults an one child around the she of 8 years old. The scene itself showed signs of struggle, broken funiture and walls ripped apart. The family itself were found dead, there bodies mangaled and bloodied.
"The ministry suspects Azkaban escapees Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Antonin Dolohov, and August Rookwood." Fudge informed.
"What is the ministry doing to catch the prisoners?"
"Aurors at the ministry has been working tirelessly. The imminent threat of the death eater escapees worries us all. We have been collecting data on rencent movement of these animals. We WILL find them."
"Could You Know Who's possible return be-"
"He is not back. These are simply lies spilled around by no other than Albus Dumbledore to control the Ministry. Thank Merlin Madam Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge, the new defense against the dark arts teacher and High Inquistor have been inplenwting rules and orders to help cure Hogwarts from this terrible epidemic."
Hermione set her paper down, her appetite dissolved. She looked up to see Harry and Rom infront her, staring inquisitivly.
"Whats happen?" Rok asked quickly. Looking into her eyes he saw the way her bows furrowed with worry, the sparkle in Hermiones eye dampening ever so slightly.
"Muggle family dead, two adults and one kid. House was destroyed and Fudge thinks that the Azkaban escapees are behind it, though he still refuses to believe that Voldemort could have any relation." Hermione spat angrily, slamming the newspaper onto the table. Her plate shook and goblet rattled with the force of her slam.
"Oh merlin..."Harry said in a quiet tone, running a hand over his face.
"I'm going to go to the library," Hermione said, standing up until Ron caught her arm.
"At least have some toast 'Mione. You have to eat something." Looking into her deep blue eyes filled with concern, she bregrudily bit a piece of toast, staring into the shint reflection of her plate.
...
McGonagall had begun her class in the same brisk tone that her voice always took. Hermione was once again captivated by it for the first time in a quite a while. Though sounds that sometimes rang in her room has given Hermione flashbacks. The sound of Mcgonagalls heels clicking always gave Hermione a violent flinch which did not go unnoticed.
Once class has finished the transfuguration had once more held Hermione back. Striding up to McGonagalls desk she stood there expectantly.
"Miss Granger, how was your holiday?" Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"Oh! Fine, yes they were quite nice. Is there something...?"
"Have you been feeling better Miss Granger? I have definetly noticed a positive change in your demenor since the winter holiday."
"Yes, i've been...better."
"If there is anything that you feel you can't tell Professor Snape during your meetings, feel free to stop by for a chat, alright." Hermione nodded politely, warmth flowijg theough her at the prospect of other options which she hadn't been given originally.
"I will Professor, thank you."
"Anytime Miss Granger."
...
Arithmancy had gone by in the blink of en eye just as the rest of the day had. Before she knew it she was once again walking down to Snape's office she knocked lightly, secretly hoping he wouldn't andwer.
"Come in." The voice drawles must to Hermiones dissapointment.
"Good evening Professor," Hermione said kindly, taking her seat across from him at his desk. He simply inclined his head.
"Miss Granger, resuming the previous topic I was paticulary curious if you happen to inform me of anything else that had happen that night, the specifics will arrive in time, but anything else that you might have lied about?" This was NOT starting off well.
"Lied? I do not lie!"
"So you didn't lie to me all those months ago in the hospital wing?" Hermione averted her gaze. "That what I thought."
"No, there is nothing else."
"Alright." Silence. Hermione began playing with a lose hangnail, focusing all of her attention on this miniscule piece of her, a distraction.
"Miss Granger," she heard faintly. Her hangnail finally ripped, little tidbits of blood started to bubble out of her finger nail slightly. "MISS GRANGER!" She flinched violently looking up into Snapes wide eyes.
"Did you hear a word I said?"
"No, sorry sir." He grunted, writing down something she couldnt quite read before he covered it up again.
"What I said was do you remember anything of you escape?"
"Yes, uhm well, I passed out and woke with her holding me up by my hair, knife to my throat." Hermione let herself get lost in the memory for only a moment. Snapping back go the present time she began picking at loose thread on her robes. "Next thing I know i'm with Tonks in the forbidden forest who I didn't know at the time. Its blurry for awhile till I was in the hospital wing with you and Remus." Snape raised one eyebrow and scratching at the parchment once more.
"What are you writing?"
"Never you mind." Hermione went back to pulling at the loose thread, letting it cut off the circulation on her fingers ever so often. "Say her name." Hermione looked up confused.
"Wot?"
"Bellatrix," Hermione gave a light flinch. "Her name is bothering you. You flinch everytime I say her name. Why won't you say Bellatrix's name." Hermione opened her mouth for a split second and closed it. Letting the thread tighten again she muttered,
"I don't know."
"You have no trouble saying the Dark Lords name, so why is it a death eater name you cannot fathom?"
"She is way more horrifing. Everytime someone says her name I see her almost, like a flash before my eyes. If I just ignore her shes not there." Snape looked at her for a long moment.
"What about at Hogwarts? Has Bellatrixs actions been affecting you besides in nightmares?" Hermione considered this for a split second. Should I tell him of Malfoy. He saw her indescivness. "You wear your heart on you sleeve Granger, don't make me pry."
"Well...I guess Malfoy." Hermione mumbled. Snape leaned back into his chair as if to say go on. "He knows, undoubtedly was told to him by his father."
"And what does, pray tell, Mister Malfoy do with this hefty information?"
"He uses it like...like a weapon," Hermione said angrily. "Everytime I have the upper hand in an argument which HE starts he says things like , heard you had a great summer or do you need a reminder to reapect yiur supirors or some bullsh-"
"Language Miss Granger," Snaoe barked as Hermione covered her mouth in shock.
"Sorry Professor, I- I don't know-"
"So, Mister Malfoy is being his same self with just more information yes?" She nodded. "And when you hit your head in the library that was also Mister Malfoys doing yes?" Hermione jaw dropped ar the reminder of this.
"How do you-"
"Your not as good of a liar as you percisve yiurself to be Miss Granger!"
"I'm not a liar! Ive only ever said a few lies this year and it was to protect Harry and Ron or to just be able to relax!" She began to pace. "You think I wanted them to go after Malfoy? It would only make things worse. And you know what! I'm sick of you calling me a liar," Hermione spat with unusal anger which did not seem to affect Snape much.
"So lying to the abominations you refer to as friends protects them?"
"Yes. They are not abominations."
"Mhm." The thread finally cut loose much to Hermiones dissapointment. "I wasn't aware of this happening outside of the classroom, especially to this degree." She twisted her hair between her fingers, over and under, over and under. "What nightmare occured at headquarters that caused you to go spastic?" Hermione looked up sharply.
"I was not spastic!"
"Mhm."
"Stop that."
"Speak Granger."
"That not exactly encouraging me." He slammed his hands onto the desk. "It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was the same old theme, she-"
"Say her name."
"Bella...Bellatrix was hovering over me wifh her knife," Hermiones voice began to shake. Clearing her throat she confinued on, "Anyways, I went to the living room to try and get myself together but I..well i didn't."
"Obviously." He wrote another thing down.
"What is that? What are you writing?" Hermione asked heatedly, trying to get away from the topic at hand.
"Notes."
"Notes?"
"Yes notes you stupid girl. Notes to give to Dumbledore."
"Can I read them." Snape raised one eyebrow. He gave her the paper which she snatched feverishly.
Dissociative
Anxious
Excessive flinching
Bellatrix name - trigger for flinch
She wanted to argue the list, but she knew she couldnt. He took the paper lightly from her hands.
"Do you often have flashbacks when you hear certain sounds or similar words or phrases?"
"Yes..."Hermiome said shakily, sitting back down. "Its usually the sound of heels clacking." Snape nodded with understanding.
"Its referred to as PTSD. Are you aware of what PTS-"
"I dont have PTSD." Hermione said quickly. Snape looked at her unconvinced.
"So you dont suffer with flashbacks, nightmares, phantom pain from your scar." Hermione didn't respond. "Thats what I thought." She subconsciously went to touch her left forearm, grazing the scar lightly with her fingers. "Furthermore, at headquarters when I had arrived your scar had been extremley bloodied; Scratch marks and abrasions were evident around your scar. I presume your still scratching at it during your nightmares?" Hermione nodded.
"I don't know. I just- I just don't know how to stop it. When i wake up my hand is clawing ar my arm. I can't stop," Hermiones voice cracked. Clearing her throat she looked down glaring at the floor.
"I would suggest you start covering it with a protective fabric at night, to prevent it from opening up." Hermione nodded again. "Your free to go." Gathering her things, Hermione went to escape the room. Before her hand reached the door knob Snape called,
"Miss Granger?"
"Yes professor?"
"I assume youve read the paper?" Hermione stopped, frozen.
"Yes...yes i did." She heard Snape sigh.
"Be careful in your letters when writing to your parents."
...
The week flew by and before Hermione cpuld catch her breath Hogsmeade weekend had rolled around.
"Its bloody cold out here," Ron complained while the trio walled to the Hogs Head.
"Language Ronald." Hermione chastised absent mindedly. Harry trailed quietly with them, his eyes focused on the snowy ground.
"You alright mate?" Ron asked him.
"Fine. Lets go." Pushing open the door the trio entered the pub, empty of any Hogwarts studenys. The two boys turned to her im question.
"Don't worry, their going to come, were here ten minutes early." Hermione told them, more so teying to comvince herself. She ordered threw butterbeers and sat down in a table toward the back, watching the door.
The pub was immensly dirty. The man behind the bar continued to wipe down the same dirty glass with the amount of dirty grime on the towel he used. Even the attendents at the bar were odd. Faces covered, hoods up, mysterious aura.
Minutes passed by an Hermione's hope was starting to drain. Maybe the truly weren't coming. Just as fhis thought had crosses her mind Lee Jordan, the twins, Ginny, Dean, Parvarti, Lavander, Luna, Cho, and about 14 others walked into the pub.
"We'll need about 24 drinks please," Fred called to the bartender.
"Come on everyone chip in pass up your sickles," All of them started ruffling theough there pockets, passing up gold to the twins handing it back to the bartender.
"You said it was a few people," Harey whisper yelled at her. She bit her lip nervously, avoiding his eyes.
"Well...people were interested! You can't be mad that people want to learn from you!"
"Hermione-"
"Hey there you lot!" Lee called from the other side of the pub. This caught the attentiom of the all the other students who filed in and sat in some tables infeom fo the trio.
"Ill start," Hermione whispered to Harry. Standing uo she faved the crowd who looked at her expectatnly.
"Hello," she said in a shaky voice, nervousness clear. "Uhm, well if your here than you are interested in getting a real defense education." "Defense Against the Dark Arts is not what it used to be." Evryone muttered in agreement. "So," Hermione conginued, "We need to learn how to defend ourselves, not only because of OWL exams, but...also because Voldemort is back," A collection of gasps and flinches filled the room.
Neville spilled his butterbeer, Lavander shrieked. Even Ron jumped.
"So, to further-"
"How do you know You-Know-Who is back? Where's the proof?" Said a voice towards the back of the pub. Hermione felt anger surge through her veins, before she could answer Ron called out,
"Oi! Who said that?"
"I did, Zarcharias Smith. Now why should we believe that he's back? How do we know that how Cedric Diggory truly died? What really happen!" Hermione went to rebuttal until Harry stood up.
"I am not here to talk about Cedric Diggory. Voldemort killed him and if you don't believe me then you can leave. That is not what today is about." No one moved. "Right then."