Set in a magical time period between Hoh and Boo, before Nico, Reyna and Coach Hedge have to leave for camp half blood with the Athena Parthenos.
One morning, Leo woke up on fire and started screaming.
Waking up on fire was not the thing that made him scream.
It was the fact that he was naked that set him off.
Being a very… special son of Hephaestus made Leo immune to fire, so he squeezed his eyes shut and thought about a normal, fire-free body.
A second later, he was back to regular Leo - regularnot on fire Leo.
Unfortunately, although he could will the fire away, he had to really concentrate if he didn't want his clothes to burn off, and obviously napping had sapped his concentration.
Cursing, he stamped out the flames licking at his trousers and shirt, which were now no more than a pile of ash. Then he crossed to the door of the engine room and peeked round the doorway.
The engine room felt like a second home to Leo onboard the Argo II - but right now he wished he'd chosen to sleep in his cabin, because now he was naked and had no clothes to hand.
After silently counting to 3, Leo dashed down the corridor and darted into his room, carefully clicking the door shut behind him.
He took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, then dressed in an almost identical outfit to the one which had just tragically burned. He had lots of identical articles of clothing for exactly this reason - no one needed to know he'd burned his clothes would be well embarrassing.
Suddenly, there was a sharp rap on the door. Leo froze as he was tying his shoes, then tiptoed to the door, pulling a screwdriver out of his tool belt. Thankfully, he'd left it in his cabin while he'd slept - he didn't know whether it was fireproof and had no desire to test it.
"Hello?" someone whispered on the other side of the door. Leo didn't reply - he couldn't place the voice, though it sounded familiar.
Then, all too suddenly, the door flew open, and a glowing bronze blade was pushed against Leo's neck.
"Ouch," he croaked.
"Leo?" said the voice, and thank the gods, the blade was lowered.
Leo was staring at Percy, who was running his hands over Riptide guiltily.
"Am I really so annoying you want to kill me?" he joked, rubbing his sore neck.
"Sorry," Percy muttered. "I heard noises, thought you were a monster or something. instincts took over."
"'Salright," Leo replied. there was a tense silence, the one that naturally comes after a friend tries to kill you.
"Hey, I'm hungry. Wanna help me make breakfast?" Leo said, desperate to fill the awkward silence.
Percy frowned. "It's, like, 4.30 in the morning."
Leo hadn't really clocked the time (ha ha, geddit?), but then he took in Percy's checked pyjama bottoms and tank top, his hair more dishevelled than normal.
"I'm still hungry," Leo shrugged. Percy eyed him, then shrugged as well.
"Why not? I could do with something, and it'll be a nice surprise for the others."
Leo grinned as they headed to the mess hall together.
Although the plates at the table magically refilled with whatever food the demigods desired, Leo had installed a tiny kitchen at the back of the room, just in case of emergencies.
Pancakes definitely counted as an emergency.
He explained his plan to Percy, who yawned as he nodded.
Leo had really wanted to make the crew breakfast for a while now, ever since he'd accidentally fired on new Rome. It wasn't totally his fault though, because an eidolon had been possessing him, but he still felt awful, and knew thatsomeof the others still harboured a teeny, tiny, teensy grudge (*cough cough* frank).
Oh well, Leo figured this was another good way to prove he was a cool guy to everyone.
Leo produced a cookbook from his trusty tool belt, and they found the recipe, complete with method and ingredients.
They managed to find most of the ingredients in the cupboards, but unfortunately these weren't magic and had to be - gasp - actually restocked by actual people. So, they didn't have everything they needed.
The only thing they were missing was the butter, but Percy managed to find a tub of mayonnaise and declared that they were basically the same thing. Leo couldn't pick holes in such a convincing argument.
They got a huge bowl and dumped all the ingredients in together. Leo hadn't managed to read up to the bit that said they had to go in separately. There was a lot of chat about "wet" and "dry" stuff, but it was the same end product, so what did it matter?
Cracking eggs was fun, but they managed to waste quite a few, and egg got everywhere, all over the kitchen.
Percy tried one on Leo's head - it dribbled into his eyes, and he started yelling. Percy muffled his yells with a dish towel and then jabbed his palm into Leo's eye, shouting about how this would help. Leo just yelling harder, because Percy had got his fingers in his eye and there was still bits of nasty egg there too. Eventually, Leo washed it out by running cold water over his eye, rubbing it until his eye was puffy and red, and swearing loudly.
Percy just doubled over and laughed - it was a miracle no one had woken up after all their noise.
Finally, the batter was ready. they each dipped in a spoon to give it a test, but something wasn't right.
Something not being right meant the gloop tasted disgusting.
Percy insisted it wasn't supposed to be nice before being cooked, but Leo was doubtful. He double checked all their ingredients fanned out on the table, and then groaned when he realised their mistake. Theirtwomistakes.
"Percy, where's the sugar?" he asked.
"Right there, man," Percy pointed to a little white container.
"That's not sugar, that's salt," Leo cracked a grin as Percy's mouth dropped open, and he realised what they'd done too.
"Oops," the son of Poseidon said finally.
"And," Leo added. "I don't think mayo counts as a substitute for butter."
It was true, the gloop did have a distinctive… mayonnaise taste.
"Sorry," Percy grinned. "Well, there's not much we can do now. Let's get these babies cooking!"
Leo was about to light the stove when Percy yelled, "wait!".
Leo obliged, flaming hand hovered over the gas.
"I forgot! We need food colouring!" Percy said, smiling.
"Sorry?" Leo asked, not sure if he'd heard Percy right. As far as he was aware, food colouring was not an essential pancake element.
"Look in your belt," Percy demanded. Sighing, Leo did so and pulled out a little squeezy tube of purple food colouring.
"Is that satisfactory, sir?" he said sarcastically.
Percy rolled his eyes, grinning. "Dude, we need it to beblue." He said the colour as if it was obvious and Leo was an utter idiot for not realising, but Leo delved his hand around in the belt for the correct colour.
He scored a green tube, but even he knew the colours, and green was not blue, so he put it on the counter next to the purple, and dived back in.
His hand came back empty.
He frowned. "I guess the belt's out of power." He had been overworking it yesterday evening, because he needed a bunch of specialist tools for a fort he was constructing (the same fort that was promptly knocked over).
Percy groaned. Then he perked up. "Hang on, we can just make blue!"
"Right…" Leo was concerned for Percy's addiction for blue food. "What d'you mean?"
"Purple and green make blue, right? Lucky, we have those colours." before Leo could say anything about colour mixing, Percy had marched to the counter, grabbed the tubes and was emptying them into the batter. He squirted the purple until the tube was limp and empty, then squeezed half the green. He studied the mixture, then finished the green tube too.
He mixed thoroughly, thankfully using a wooden spoon.
The result of the colours was a horrible brown.
Both boys peered over the bowl, Percy's nose wrinkled. Now the batter tasted like salt and mayonnaise and looked like something unspeakable.
Delicious.
"That looks disgusting," Leo said cheerfully, lighting the hob and bringing out a pan. Percy sighed. "At least I tried. annabeth can't get angry now."
Leo spilled some batter in a vague circle shape onto the pan. Then he remembered he was supposed to oil the surface of the pan, so he poured a healthy amount of oilover the pancake.
They watched it cook, bubbles forming. They watched it for a bit too long, absorbed in staring at the little bubbles.
Percy shrieked, "flip it!"
Leo jumped to pick up the flippy thing (a spatula?) and levered it under the pancake. He carefully turned it over and winced at the burnt black of the pancake.
They waited for a little longer for the other side to cook, but didn't want to burn it too, so picked it off the pan a little early.
The first pancake was sludge brown on one side, bright yellowy-brown on the other, and tasted like sewage.
After spitting all the remains of the car crash pancake into the sink, Percy looked hopefully at Leo.
"The first one is a tester," he said, eyes wide with innocence. Let's go again. And this time, I'll cook it."
10 minutes of peaceful (ish) pancake cooking occurred. They only finished with a few on the ceiling (the other 3 that had stuck up there all fell down, landing on Leo's white shirt and Percy's messy hair). But they did end up with a teetering tower of pancakes. And the good news was that the brown colour disguised the fact that the pancakes were burnt (except for when the pancakes were burnt completely black).
They set the table together and even grabbed juices, even though the glasses also filled up magically.
After they finished their knife fight, Percy frowned at the plate of pancakes.
"Leo," he said slowly. "I can count a ton of pancakes there. how many was the recipe for?"
Leo scanned the cookbook. "Um," he said after a minute of reading. "20?"
"20?!" Percy yelled.
"Did I forget to mention that this a cookbook with special recipes for parties?" Leo offered, palms up.
"Yes, you did," Percy rolled his eyes, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"It's alright," Leo leant against the counter, then leapt back after he got egg on his sleeve. "The others will be hungry, and there's, like, 10 of us. Anyway-"
He was cut off by the sound of crashing. He had accidentally knocked the pan off the stove, and it had hit into the batter bowl, sending them both clattering to the floor.
"Oops," Leo said after a pause. Percy was trying to hide his laughter.
The sound of running feet became prevent just before the door flew open, stopping Percy's laughter.
All the other demigods stood in the doorway.
Annabeth was at the front, clutching her weird ivory-like sword, wearing a matching set of checked pyjamas.
Piper was behind, dagger held high, wearing her classic Cherokee eagles jammies - Leo was convinced they were just power rangers, but Piper wouldn't admit to it. whatever.
Hazel was next to piper, hands held in front of her, like she was about to bust some karate moves. Leo knew better. If he and Percy had been intruders, she would have summonsed some hard precious stones, wacked them in the head and maybe warped the mist a little bit to make them run home crying for their mommies. She was cool like that. She was dressed in a long night shirt down to her shins with hello kitty waving out them.
Frank was in another night shirt, but sadly his was just plain grey, no cute kitties for him. His shorts peeked out from underneath. As Leo glanced at Frank, he transformed into a golden retriever - no idea why - but then morphed back to human, cheeks red, so Leo was willing to let it pass as an accident.
Jason was behind frank, but tall enough to peer into the room. He was in a tight T-shirt and sweatpants, and sparks were crackling between his fingers. His forehead was creased, and his eyes looked tired - he didn't even have his glasses on, so he must have just woken up.
Nico's head could just about be seen poking out next to Jason's arm, his dark hair sticking out in all directions. Unfortunately the rest of him was covered by the other demigods so Leo couldn't get a good look at his pyjamas. Dang. He'd pay good money to see the son of Hades in Hazel's night shirt.
Even Reyna was up, sword drawn. She was in a camp Jupiter top and black sleeping shorts, and her expression was downright murderous.
"Hola amigos," Leo grinned. "We made breakfast!"
Everyone calmed down once Leo explained that something had just fallen down. They had expected a monster attack.
They then surveyed the kitchen and Leo looked at it too, through their eyes.
It was a mess.
Batter was everywhere - on the counter, the table, the floor, even on Percy's clothes. Egg white dripped off the table's corner and yolk shone in Leo's hair. The ingredients were all still out, and the bag of flour had spilled over, so everything was also covered in a light dusting of that. Of course, the pan and bowl were still rolling around on the floor. The stack of pancakes sat pride of place in the centre of the table.
"Um," Frank was the first to speak. "What are those?"
He pointed to the pancakes.
Leo grinned again. "Breakfast, Zhang. We'll clean up, and then let's eat! I'm starving!"
Coach Hedge crashed into the room a few minutes later, yelling about loud noises. Clearly, he'd just woken up too, because his hair was in… rollers? Shucks, Coach. That's how his hair stayed so shiny and curly. Good to know.
Annabeth reassured him that nothing was attacking, Leo and Percy had just attempted to cook. She shot them a dirty look as she said this, really pronouncing the "attempted", as if they'd failed or something.
She asked coach hedge to go and monitor the top deck. Coach stamped off, muttering about crazy kids.
Percy and Leo tidied up as fast as they could, then sank into their seats gratefully. The mess hall was far from clean, but it would have to do.
Leo had an inclination that pancakes took maybe around 20 minutes to make, but they had taken over 2 hours. He remembered that they had encountered some interesting problems.
When everyone was settled at the table, they all stared anxiously at the pancakes.
Percy grinned at them all. "Who wants the first one?"
No one said anything, until Hazel hesitatingly raised her hand.
"I guess I can?" she said, voice going up at the end like it was a question. Oh, Hazel. sweet, lovely Hazel.
Percy cheerfully plopped a pancake down on her plate. Hazel just looked at it.
"Question," Piper said, eyebrows raised. "Why are they, um, brown? Are they burnt?"
"We dyed them," Leo replied.
"Brown?" Piper asked suspiciously.
"Brown," Leo repeated, nodding.
"And you meant to?" Jason added, concealing his smirk.
"Oh, yeah, of course," Percy said confidently, nodding too.
"And you're sure they're not brunt?" Annabeth said dubiously.
"I mean, they might be… but only because we can multitask," Leo shrugged. "We're cool like that."
The others stared at them both.
"We've got juice too!" Percy told them when no one said anything for a few moments. That got a reaction - they all asked for some.
Leo poured orange juice into everyone's glasses, spilling only a little by Piper (payback for asking whether they were burnt). He was enjoying this - making breakfast and playing "mom" for his friends.
Hazel was slowly cutting up her pancake, trying to smile. She took a bite.
She swallowed.
Then her eyes bulged, and she started coughing. Frank leaned over and thumped her on the back. Hazel kept spluttering, so he squeezed her middle, eyes concerned.
Hazel managed one last cough, and the bit of pancake flew back to her plate.
She looked embarrassed, cheeks flaming red.
"Delicious or delicious, am I right?" Leo grinned, spreading his arms wide. Frank glared at him.
"Not sure these are edible," Reyna poked the pile.
Percy sighed. "Alright guys, we tried. We really tried. But we didn't have butter so used mayo-"
"Mayo?!" chorused Piper and annabeth.
"-and we mixed up the salt and sugar, got egg in Leo's eyes and hair, then wanted to dye them blue-"
"That bit was all Percy," Leo interrupted.
"-but didn't have the colours-"
"So Percy thought we could use green and purple to make blue," Leo continued. Jason snorted and Percy threw him a look.
"-but it makes brown instead," Percy said mournfully. "We're sorry."
"I dunno ifI'msorry," Leo cut in. "Not our fault if a good deed-"
"You woke us up," Nico interrupted, arching an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's bad enough," Frank said, nodding seriously. "And then you made poor hazel try one of the monstrosities."
"They're pancakes, Zhang!" Leo retorted. "Plus, Hazel volunteered! She-"
"Guys," Hazel looked up from her plate. "How about, in return for waking us up, Percy and Leo make us something else? We can throw these away. I'm sure the birds can't tell the difference between bird food and disgusting brown pancakes."
She blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?" Everyone burst out laughing, except for Leo and Percy who sat with their arms crossed, stony-faced.
"But wemade breakfast," Leo complained.
"And Leo wokemeup in the first place," Percy moaned.
Annabeth narrowed her eyes at both of them. "We don't care. Just make toast or something. Surely even you two can't mess that up."
More laughter. Grumbling, the boys shoved toast in the huge, industrial toaster and grabbed the spreads. Leo then picked up the pancake plate and headed up to the top deck to dispose of them.
"Hey, kid!" Coach Hedge barked from the helm. "What are those?"
Leo had been preparing to chuck them overboard, but turned to face Coach, a mischievous grin playing on his face.
"Delicious pancakes, Coach," he said innocently. "D'you want them?"
Leo returned to the mess hall with an empty plate, a satisfied satyr above him and a smile playing on his face.
His friends welcomed him back to the table and he ate gratefully.
Although the pancakes had failed, he'd had fun, and a little bit of fun never hurt.
...especially as the end of the world was fast approaching.
All was good.