Chapter 3

Colin wasn't a superstitious man, but he couldn't help but wonder if he walked under a ladder or seven that he'd forgotten about over the years.

That surely must be the only reason that the one time he needed everything to go right, it was all going so unbelievably, bloody wrong.

He'd had travel problems before - it was part and parcel of his job. Delays, inclement weather, cancellations, breakdowns. He'd had it all.

Just…not all at the same time.

A lesser man might see that as fate and decide that, perhaps, it wasn't 'meant to be.'

Thankfully, Colin was made of sterner stuff because nothing, barring his demise, was going to stop him getting home.

Back to Penelope.

Whether he'd manage to do it time…well, that was another matter entirely.

When his flight to London had been cancelled, he'd been fine. The weather couldn't be helped and fog wasn't an unusual occurrence for the UK especially considering the time of year.

So, he'd booked a flight into France instead, but from there it had got trickier. With no flights into London everyone was trying to get passage on board a ferry or the Eurostar.

Eventually, after checking the official, and some not so official online sites, he'd managed to snag a ticket for the train for an extortionate price that was exacerbated by high demand. He'd paid without second thought, just pleased to be back on track to return to London by early New Year's Eve.

But then, his flight to Paris got delayed, which had the knock-on effect of him missing the train he wanted to catch and that's when he'd started to get antsy. He was already cutting it fine.

He'd caught a later train by the skin of his teeth and spent the journey sitting next to a man who had been jilted by his fiancée over Christmas. While Colin had felt sorry for him, he'd really not wanted to know the ins and outs of the poor guy's love life, or lack thereof, apparently - which, honestly, should have given the man a clue. The crying he could've done without as well…

Two and half hours later, it was a huge relief when the train had finally pulled into St Pancreas in the early evening. He'd wished the man a Happy New Year, given him a tissue then grabbed his luggage and hightailed it out to the taxi ranks.

He'd been frustrated, annoyed and a few hundred quid the poorer for it, but he was back, that was the main thing.

Getting a cab from the station down to Kent had proved to be his next hurdle. On New Year's Eve taxis were few and far between anyway, let alone finding one that was prepared to do such a long journey.

It had taken all his charm and the promise of a hefty tip to finally get a cabbie to agree to make the trip. The journey had been slow going with the fog making visibility a nightmare and with each mile that trundled by, Colin had grown more and more impatient. Finally, the cab had turned into the half a mile long drive of Aubrey Hall at around a quarter to twelve and Colin had breathed a sigh of relief. He was going to make it on time after all.

And then the engine promptly spluttered and cut out.

The cab driver had sworn and tried to start it again, but Colin had had enough. He told the man he had to go, then got out of the taxi, left his luggage and ran.

With the fog so thick, the irate shouts of the driver where soon swallowed up. Using the dim lights dotted along each side of the road to guide him, he'd kept up a decent pace for the entire length of the drive, the thought of seeing Penelope urging him on.

Lungs fit to burst, he'd finally reached the Hall and ran up the steps to the main doors. His mother's housekeeper had let him in with a look of surprise and he'd quickly asked her to send help for the cab driver before heading off to look for the woman he loved.

Time ticked on as he'd darted in-between guests muttering, 'excuse me' and 'sorry' as he'd brushed past people in an effort to reach the ballroom. A couple of friends tried to halt his progress, expressing how unexpected it was to see him, but he'd merely gave them a quick nod in response and hurried on. There would be time enough for niceties later.

Finally, he'd reached the ballroom, flinching slightly at the loud music as he'd quickly looked around but couldn't see her. Chest still heaving from exertion, he'd walked further into the room and saw his mother heading his way, arms outstretched, smiling widely.

"You're late! I thought you'd changed your mind," Eloise had admonished angrily as she'd suddenly appeared at his side. He'd frowned at her assumption and then she'd pointed towards the doors at the furthest end of the room. "She's outside on the balcony. Go! I'll take care of mum."

He'd shot her a grateful smile and quickly walked towards his - he dearly hoped - future.

Opening the balcony door, he'd been struck by how ethereal she looked, standing beside the balustrade, mist swirling around her. The simple pale green dress with lace accents she wore, emphasised her curves with a fitted bodice, sheer capped sleeves and an A-line skirt falling to just above her ankles. Her wavy red hair was down around her shoulders and he was pretty certain that his laboured breathing no longer had anything to do with the run he'd just had and everything to do with the woman standing in front of him.

She was breathtaking.

He closed the door behind him, shutting out the noise from the party and took a step towards her.

"Shouldn't you be inside with Phillip?" she asked curtly without turning around.

That surprised him. She sounded angry with Eloise, but he didn't have time to ponder it – it was nearly midnight.

"No, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."

It felt like an eternity before she turned to face him, her expression one of shock.

"Colin?"

And then he saw it. A brief flicker of something that flared in her eyes momentarily before she blinked.

He'd seen it before when she'd looked at him. Many times, over the years. He was such a fool for not realising what it was, but now he did, and he smiled.

"Hello, Pen."

He took a couple of steps towards her then stopped when she suddenly held up her hand to halt him.

"What…what are you doing here?" she asked, voice strained. "Eloise said you were in Sicily."

"I was, but I wanted to come home," he replied. "I wanted to see you."

She regarded him a moment, then her lips twisted up into a slightly bitter smile that unnerved him a little. She looked away and turned to gaze out over the gardens once more.

"Did you? So, reading my blog had nothing to do with it then? The poor, pathetic girl with a stupid crush. Is that what made you come back? Did you feel sorry for me? Thought you'd come riding in like some knight in shining armour on his horse to what…? Give me a pity kiss because you feel bad you don't remember doing it before? A little sweetener before you tell me to my face that it'll never happen?" she wrapped her arms around herself again. "Well, it was wasted trip because I already know that, so you might as well go back inside and be with your family."

Colin stood there a moment, his heart aching at the pain he could hear bleeding through in her voice even though she did her best to cover it with anger.

Was that really how she saw herself? His chest tightened at the thought.

She knew he'd read her blog? His chest tightened even more and he drew in a shuddering breath. He hadn't been expecting that. Eloise, he supposed, as his emotions began to swirl. He'd speak to her later but right now he had something more important to do.

Ignoring the chill, he shrugged off his coat and closed the remaining distance between them. Standing behind her, he then wrapped it gently around her shoulders. She tensed slightly at the gesture and he slowly smoothed his hands down her arms, relieved when her stance softened and she drew his coat more snugly around her. He edged a tiny bit nearer to her, then leaned down to speak into her ear.

Just as she'd been so honest in her diaries, it was only right that here, in this moment he be the same. He owed her nothing less.

"Yes, I did want to see you," he reiterated quietly. "And, yes, your blog did have something to do with it." She stiffened again and he resisted the urge to hold on to her more tightly, afraid that she was going to leave. Instead, he implored, "Please, Pen, just let me finish." He waited with bated breath, then, off her slight nod, he continued, "It did have something to do with it, but only because it made me realise just how bloody lucky I am that you feel exactly the same way as I do."

She turned her head sharply to gaze up at him, disbelief clouding her eyes, then she abruptly looked away and shook her head in negation of his words.

"Please…don't say things you don't mean, Colin."

He let go of her when she suddenly turned away, but then quickly sidestepped to stand in front of her. She could go if she wanted, but he really hoped she'd stay.

"But I do mean it, Penelope," he stated emphatically when she stopped and looked up at him, still clutching at his coat as if it were protection. From behind them, he could hear the muffled shouts of the countdown to midnight starting, but Colin didn't care. He just had to make her see that he meant what he said. "I have just gone through my own personal version of 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' to get back to you tonight, Pen, and I can promise you that there is not a single cell in my entire body that did it out of pity…for a kiss or otherwise. And no, I don't think I'm a knight in shining armour – but I'd like to be, for you, if you'd let me? And I certainly don't feel sorry for you, nor do I think you stupid - far from it, in fact…well…apart from loving me, of course." She gave him a small, tremulous smile at that and his chest finally started to loosen. "And I am definitely not here to tell you it won't ever happen. I'm here to tell you that, whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting. A week, a month, a year, however long it takes for you to believe me when I say that…I love you, Pen."

Her sharp intake of breath mingled with the sudden muted cheers of 'Happy New Year' and familiar bars of Auld Lang Syne that rang out from the ballroom as they stared at each other on the misty balcony, his declaration hanging between them.

Eyes wide, she blinked once, then twice, then blurted out, "Bold of you to assume it'll take a year at most."

Colin looked at her a moment and then began to laugh.

"Well, I thought, 'forever', might be overplaying my hand a bit."

Penelope joined in with a chuckle of her own, then before he'd realised it, she was standing right in front of him and gazing up at him with such adoration it almost took his breath away.

"There's really no need for either of us to wait anymore, is there?"

Mirth fading, he looked down at her upturned face and swallowed hard. Was she really going to let him off that lightly?

"Are you sure, Pen?"

She nodded.

"You coming here tonight is enough, Colin."

It wasn't. It wasn't nearly enough as far as he was concerned, and he vowed to himself that he would spend the rest of his life proving that to her. But for now, in this moment, she was so beautiful and her lips were parted so invitingly and all he had to do was dip his head and claim them…

But he didn't have to, because Penelope moved first. Placing her hands on his chest, she stood on tiptoe and captured his lips in the sweetest of kisses. His eyes slid shut as the heady feeling of heat sparked between them before bursting into flames as his arms encircled her waist and pulled her flush against him in a searing kiss. Her hands fisted into his t-shirt and she let out a little whimper as their kiss deepened, tongues and lips meeting again and again with growing fervour until they finally broke apart panting slightly. He brought a hand up to gently cup her cheek and stared deep into her eyes.

"I love you," he murmured, "so much."

"I love you, Colin," she replied, happy to be able to finally say it out loud now.

He grinned and dropped another quick kiss on her lips before adding, "It's a bit late but, Happy New Year, Pen."

"I'd rather it be late, than never," she replied, smiling back. "Happy New Year."

They kissed again, then, hand in hand, they headed back into the ballroom together.

The Whistledown Diaries – Musings from a Wallflower

Entry Date: 2nd January

Dearest Gentle Reader,

I am as surprised to be writing this entry today as you are, likely, to be reading it.

It will be short, and I hope sweet, although I hardly know where to begin, so maybe it is better that I share with you a quote from one of my favourite books instead:

'When pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure.'

What, do you ask, does this mean?

Well, today, I find that this quote from Jane Austen's, 'Persuasion', to be very apt.

For you see, with the help of a well-meaning, albeit interfering, friend, I am no longer suffering from the anguish of unrequited love.

I am simply in love and now find myself loved in return!

It has all happened so swiftly that I have to pinch myself at times, just to ensure that I am not dreaming.

And to clarify, dear reader, it is him. The man I pined after for so long. The man I call my dear friend. The man who is the reason I chose that quote. Because all those years that I longed for him, ached for him, yearned for him are now mere memories of a time that eventually led us to be together.

So how could I now view those very same memories with anything other than joy?

That time apart moulded us into who we are now, and I feel that we shall be stronger together because of it.

I very much hope we will.

So, is it everything I hoped for, I hear you ask?

It has only been a day, but I will say 'no' – it has been 'more' than I ever hoped for…so much more.

I have never felt so happy. So, 'myself' before. It is as though he truly is the other half of me, and I now feel complete.

I just hope that I make him feel the same way too.

We still need to talk, of course. And I am certain that there will be times we do not see eye to eye – he is so much taller than me anyway – but I am equally certain that we shall overcome whatever problems we face as we go into the New Year with a new future stretching out before us.

Because this is it for me. And he assures me that it is for him too.

So, what will this blog be now?

In truth, dear reader, I do not fully know. I am undecided whether to keep it going or to stop entries after this one and start a new blog altogether.

I find I'm leaning towards the latter, but I shall leave this one up for anyone that wishes to read it and perhaps find a little solace or a little hope that even us wallflowers can find happiness.

It just takes patience. Or someone finding out about your blog and telling the love of your life…

Whichever way it is, know that all is not lost.

It is your life and your story. And if waiting is not for you, then perhaps take a leaf out of my love's book and find the courage within yourself to make your feelings known – you might just find that the other person has been waiting for years for you to do so.

And in that vein, I shall leave you with another quote that I hope will give you some food for thought:

'It is not what we think or feel that makes us who we are. It is what we do. Or fail to do…'

~ Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

And now it is time to take my leave.

Farewell, Gentle Reader, it has been a great comfort for this Author to know you have been with me on my journey thus far.

I will be forever grateful.

Yours truly,

The Whistledown Diaries

Penelope read through the entry one more time then hit the post button. Once she saw that it was showing on the site, she quietly closed her laptop and sat back.

"Now you're finished, are you coming back to bed, love?"

She looked over her shoulder in surprise and saw Colin half propped up against his pillows, quilt slung low about his waist. Her gaze roamed hungrily over his bare, hair roughened chest and she stood up.

"I thought you were still asleep," she remarked, walking over to the bed and taking off her dressing gown. "Did I wake you?"

He smiled and shook his head, staring unabashedly at her naked form.

"No, I just missed you."

He gestured to the empty space where she'd lain half an hour earlier and pulled back the cover so that she could slide back into bed beside him once more.

She cuddled up to him with a contented sigh and he put his arm around her drawing her closer as he tucked the quilt snugly around them.

They were in his room, still at Aubrey Hall. She was supposed to have gone home earlier that day but now they were together, they'd decided to stay a couple of extra nights. She'd bought some spare underwear with her anyway and had borrowed a top and jogs from Colin while the rest of her clothes had been put through a wash. They'd swamped her but no one had batted an eyelid - much like when they'd walked back into the ballroom and joined in the festivities with the rest of the family on New Year's.

Everyone had been blessedly relaxed about them being together. She guessed that Eloise had had something to do with that for which she'd been thankful. It had more than made up for all the mischief she'd caused – happy outcome aside.

"I was just posting to my blog," she revealed, dropping a kiss on his chest.

"I guessed as much," he replied slightly smugly. "Couldn't wait to tell everyone that you not only got the guy, but you got that kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve finally, eh?"

She propped herself up and looked down at him with a slight frown.

"We didn't kiss at midnight."

His mouth dropped open in indignation at that comment.

"Yes, we did," he argued.

"No, we didn't. It was already past midnight by the time we kissed, Colin," she pointed out reasonably.

"By a minute…two at the most," he retorted. "You're not seriously going to quibble over a few seconds, are you?"

"Well, you are, apparently," she muttered archly.

He opened his mouth to object then closed it again when he realised how petulant he was being. A New Year's Eve kiss on the stroke of midnight was important to her and if he'd been able to get back to London when he'd planned – it would've happened.

But he hadn't and she was right, it'd been late.

He raised his hand and gently grasped her chin so that he could turn her head to face him. She gave him a faintly disappointed look and he sighed. He hadn't meant to upset her over it.

"You're right, Pen, it was kiss in the new year, not a New Year's kiss," he conceded before vowing earnestly, "But it won't ever happen again. From now on, you will have a kiss at midnight every New Year's Eve…from me."

"From now on?" she repeated, staring at him wide eyed. "That sounds like quite the commitment, Mr Bridgerton."

He nodded, a half-smile playing on his lips.

"Might as well know from the start what you're letting yourself in for, Miss Featherington," he replied, his smile growing bigger. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me." She continued to stare at him and his smile faltered a little before he added cautiously, "If you still want me, that is?"

Penelope let out a surprised laugh at that and leaned in to kiss him firmly on the lips.

"Have you seen my blog?" she asked dryly when she pulled back. "I think you're stuck with me, not the other way around."

"Let's just call it even and have sex," he proposed and rolled her onto her back with a smirk.

"So romantic. It's only been a day and you're not even trying anymore," she lamented teasingly.

He chuckled and leaned down to murmur into her ear, "Sometimes I prefer to show rather than tell."

Penelope moaned as he then began to kiss her neck and on down, down. And as she gave herself over to the sensations he ignited in her body, she had to admit, she preferred it sometimes too.

A year later at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, Penelope Featherington received her first ever kiss, of a romantic nature, from one Colin Bridgerton.

At exactly one minute past midnight on New Year's Eve, she received her first marriage proposal too.

She accepted, of course, because just as she'd written in her last post all those months before, being with Colin was everything she'd ever dreamed it would be…and more.

THE END