Loona looked inside Blitz's ears. "Alright, I think all the blood's finally out." She rolled her eyes. "Dang. The broadcast really did a number on your eardrums."
"Fucking finally, I can hear again!" Blitz shouted in relief as he picked out bloody wax. "What the fuck were you thinking, kid!?"
"I was thinking I'd do something nice for Octavia and I did." The boy nodded proudly. "All the advice I got paid off greatly!"
"It was … a lovely little song, tot." Millie spoke with a strained smile, rubbing the kid's head. "So glad… Moxxie... taught you..."
"What!?" Fatty shouted as he was still cleaning out his ears.
"The song was yesterday, how do you all still have so much damage?" The hellhound asked with her brow raised.
"You're the one with sensitive hearing, how the fuck do you not have more damage?" Blitz called out rhetorically.
"The song didn't bother me." Loona shrugged, patting the kid's head. "I thought it sounded nice."
"Thank you." The kid preened.
Blitz sighed. "Yeah yeah, either way we're doing a physical check up on the entire crew just in case. Everyone in the van, today IMP is going to Sloth."
"Yeah, I'm going to sit that one out. They're still looking for me at the hospital and I'm not going to pay for those bills." Iruma shuddered.
"Completely fair kid, tax evasion is always a respectable job option." Blitz nodded. "You keep the fort down and write down any clients we get, the rest of us will head to Sloth."
"Good luck with that." Loona waved off as she looked at her phone. Quiet day with Iruma at the office… sounded like a perfect day to her.
"Oh no, you're coming with us, Loonie. You have more sensitive hearing, even if there's no blood we need to check for damages." Blitz insisted, pulling against her arm.
"I'm not going." She casually kicked him away into a nearby wall. "I feel fine, your idiots are the ones bleeding, I don't need no fucking hospital." She wasn't going anywhere with a needle… Never again.
"Yes you do, Loonie Toonie." He argued.
"Sir, Iruma would be better with someone to guard him." The fatty argued for her.
"Fine then, you or the other M stay while the other three of us head to Sloth."
Loona growled, losing her patience. "What part of I'm not fucking going to a hospital do you not understand!" She threw a chair to the idiot's head, who dodged.
"And why is he more insistent on Loona going when she has the least amount of damage?" Iruma asked, getting stares at him, before they were on Blitz.
"Because … reasons …" He sweated.
"Blitz, don't you dare hide anything from us." Millie glared.
"Fine." He groaned. "I was trying to avoid a freak out, but Loonie Toonie had a doctor's appointment today anyway."
"I fucking what!?" Loona shouted in shock.
"It's not a big deal, nothing too bad, totally casual visit." Blitz chuckled unconvincingly as he turned to the idiots. "I've had this schedule five years ago because its the only fucking way to ge done in the fucking cesspool of drugs and overpriced med care."
"Why are you spelling out…" Loona began to think… S, h, o, t? That just spelled shot-Oh. Oh. Oh! OH FUCK!
"Um, Loona." She heard the kid speak up, sounding worried, and in pain. "You're kind of … squeezing me … tight …" Loona realized she had suddenly wrapped her entire body, arms, legs, and tail around the boy's body.
"Right…." She nodded shakily. Let go… let go and get a shot get a shot get a shot….
"Tighter … harder to … breathe …" He cried out.
Just a shot, just a shot, just a needle that goes into hounds and puts them to sleep that they never wake from. SHOTS ARE BAD! NEEDLES ARE BAD! FLEE! FLEE! "Bitch, get your grubby paws off my baby!" Millie shouted as the sound of an axe swing could be heard. "I can be precise, I can cut her head without hurting Iruma!"
"I will NOT let you hurt my baby girl, Mills! She's clearly a terrified victim!" Blitz screamed with a grunt. "Mox, either get Loona in the car or stop your wife!"
"Iruma, you might want to run to the car now." The fatty called out as the bitch began swinging. "Millie, calm down, she's just scared!"
"She should be after what I'm about to do to her!"
Loona whimpered as she held onto her safety net tighter. "Okay… okay… one… step… two step…" Iruma began slowly moving towards the door. "Are… are you... Okay?" He asked, concerned.
"Yep. Fine. Fine. Fine." She chatters her teeth nervously. Just a needle in her arm like all the other dogs. "Fiiiine. Just needle. Bad needle. Painful scary dangerous needle."
"Ahh, I see." He nodded, rubbing her arm soothingly with his one free hand as they walked down the hallway. "I'm afraid of needles too… and swords, and knives, and basically everything sharp."
"Can you protect me while we run far far away from needles and sharp objects?" She begged with an add of canine whine.
"… Um … I... I can promise that you won't get hurt." Her safety net nodded assuringly.
"Thank you!" She squeezed him even tighter. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you-!"
He wheezed. "No… no… no… no problem… anything… for you… Loona…" Iruma, the best thing in her life, the only source of comfort she had and her only protection, nodded with a gasp. "... Exactly what type of … medicine is she getting?" Her safety net asked as the man who was going to get her needled buckled them in tightly to the shotgun seat.
"She's been in the field too much and her immune system's fried." Blitz explained with a frown. "This is supposed to be every year to help keep her alive, but I can only schedule the thing every five years. If I don't go, there's a good chance she'll get infected and die within the next five months. The downsides of being a low class hellborn, life expectancy is a bitch."
"How... how long do you guys ... live…?"
"Longest a perfectly healthy imp had been alive is around 110 years, not much longer than the average human life expectancy." The fatty nodded as he buckled in his tied up wife to the backseat. "Comfortable Millie?"
"Just because you've turned me on with the bondage doesn't mean I'm still not livid!" She shook in rage.
"Okay, we're just gonna drive on down there, get one little prick, and everything's gonna be hunky dory. I'll even let you pick what we do for the rest of the week. That sounds nice, sweetie?" Blitz asked with a grin.
"I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die…" She muttered repeatedly as she squeezed her safety net even harder.
"Bones … struggling … thank you … demon durability …" Iruma gasped out.
"See, everything's alright, let's get moving fam!" Blitz hit the pedal and they were speeding off onto the highway.
"It's... it's going to be alright… Loona..." Her safety net patted her arm. "...I… I won't... Let… anything … bad … happen….."
"...Thank you…" She nuzzled her nose on his cheek ... and given how she was probably about to die… licked his face. "Thank you…" Loona whispered.
"..." Her safety net was turning super red. Cute.
And the bitch began screaming. "I WILL HAVE HER HEAD-!"
"-ON A SILVER PLATTER IF YOU THINK I GET NOTHING!" Stella screamed out to the bastard. She and Andrealphus were working to exploit as much as they could from the whiny bastard … but it was a little hard when he was being such a bitch!
"I never said you get nothing." Stolas shrugged. "I said I'm giving you the wine, considering that drinking it was the only thing you did at my house."
"That seems rather … trivial, don't you think?" Andrealphus questioned.
"I don't believe so. Everything that Stella bought with our money was delivered over to her house. The only things left are my own personal possessions, the plants that she has repeatedly screamed at over and over, and the trust fund that goes into Via's education."
"You fucking broke everything that I owned moving it, bastard!" She roared.
"No, I simply ordered the movers to move your items, what happened to them within the contents of the moving truck is beyond my control." The skinny little twink rolled his eyes. "Must we continue with this charade? The atmosphere only continues to sour within your presence." He turned to an imp refilling his coffee with a pleased smile. "Thank you, it's glad to see some people within this facility have respect."
She clashed her beak. "I'll respect you when your rotted corpse is ten rings underground!"
"Stella, you're making this harder to bullshit." Andrealphus muttered under his breath. "Nonetheless, you still cheated on the poor thing-?"
"Poor thing!?" The skinny bastard laughed. "Andrealphus, you and everyone else in our family knows by now that this woman never gave two shits about the marriage, there was no cheating because that would imply a betrayal of our relationship, which was zero to none to begin with. Via's already seventeen, I've longed past the need to ever have this bitch in my house."
"And what does that mean?" She growled. "I raised our daughter perfectly, even if you felt the need to inflict her with terrible lessons."
He glared. "You didn't raise her at all! I was the one that tucked her into bed, who helped her with her nightmares, her studies, talked to her whenever she had a question about life! All you ever did was ask her to pass the salt at dinner, that's the extent of your relationship with her!"
"How dare you." She glared. "I know her better than you!"
The skinny bastard shrugged. "Fine then; if you know her so well, tell me... what's her favorite hobby?"
Stella huffed, crossing her arms. "Putting on fancy dresses."
"Taxidermy."
"... She likes collecting taxes from the poor?" Must have been a sadist thing. A bit complicated, but a respectable hobby.
The twink groaned. "It feels like fighting a cripple when I try to argue with you."
"And it always feels like I'm talking to a dirty low life imp sucker whenever I'm with you." She growled.
"If all you have are uncreative insults, I'll be on my way." The bastard began to stand up.
"They are NOT uncreative you little-!"
SMASH
A blur of fire and red flashes before them as a hell horse crashed through the window, as her assassin, wearing a black cloak smirked, before throwing it off and began shooting right at the prick. "About fucking time." Stella giggled. Feels like this took too fucking long for what she paid for.
"Oh you bitch." Stolas growled, flying out of the door as the man chased after him with a glowing lasso.
"Don't mind me, Blue Bloods, just doin' a little huntin' for the night." Her assassin grinned as he managed to wrap the skinny twink by the arms, stopping the bastard from flying, shifting, or teleporting away.
"Damn it." The man growled as he was pulled onto the horse, the two of them running off, leaving the cafe in silence.
"Oh my, poor Stolas." She chuckled in victory as he ran off. "Being chased by a little imp." The irony of that low class fucker. "Now I just gotta kill that human that Octavia's apparently dating and all my issues are over."
"…" Her brother was oddly quiet at that. "…. You haven't listened to the radio lately, have you?
"Why does everyone keep using that word? 'Radio'?"
"Never mind, you air headed ninny." Her brother muttered. "...The boy is the heir to Beelezebub."
Stella blinked. "... The Sin of Gluttony?" She questioned.
"That's the one-"
"YEEESSSSSS!" The cafe looked at her in surprise, but Stella didn't care. "YEESSSSS! Finally! Some good news!" She cackled. "The goetia name will live even higher than it already is!" The only thing better would be marrying a sin herself! "Thank fuck, for a second I thought the bastard's bad taste rubbed off on her."
"Yes …" Andrealphus groaned. "And you said you sent an assassin to 'kill him'?" He asked.
"I'll make sure to call off the order I placed." She waved off. "Now come on, let's celebrate Stolas getting what's coming to him."
"Yes, the twink will probably die, and you'll get nothing." The man rolled his eyes.
"What do you mean?" Stella blinked in confusion.
"He's divorcing you, and as irritating as he is, the man had a point." Her brother sipped his tea. "The only reason you two got married was to provide a precautionary heir, so everything he owns, the grimoire, the legions, his wealth and duties... all of it would immediately go to Via."
"... So?" She asked, shrugging. "Via's already dating a sin. With the amount of clout and power we'll get from that, who cares about one book and a few imp legions?"
"It matters because none of it will matter if Via doesn't like you."
"Of course she likes me. She's my daughter." Stella rolled her eyes. "Any girl that doesn't like her mother is a mentally ill abomination that deserves to die on the spot. That's just common sense."
Andrealphus stared. "…. You're as stupid as you are hot." Gross. "Tell me this. When's her birthday?"
"Oh that's easy… it's….." Stella blinked. "It's…." She tried to think. "Oh who the heck cares about something like a birthday? I can throw a party for her any day of the year."
"Look, as stupid as it is, she cares about Stolas more than she cares about you." Andrealphus stated firmly. "So, what you need right now, is to make sure to keep Stolas alive long enough to switch her opinion on her favorite parent."
"… But I want to kill him so badly~!" She pouted. "I've been dreaming about it since I first met the prick!"
"And you will … eventually." He grinned. "All we need to do is convince little Via that he prefers that imp to her …"
"At least that won't be difficult." Stella muttered. "Can I at least wait until he's tortured enough before calling the hit off? I really want that bitch to feel his blood spilling out."
Her brother shrugged. "Your choice, but the more he's tortured, the more pity Via will give him."
"That is a tough choice..." Stella muttered. "… Eh, I can live with that." Again, she was her mother. Who doesn't love a mother?
Stolas really needed to talk to Blitz after this … he was starting to get his horse fetish with how the constant bumping felt. Sure, the last time they spoke to each other wasn't exactly... ideal… maybe he shouldn't have gotten so upset and frenzically, especially when the whole thing was Stolas' fault for not remembering Azathoth's tears…
One of the most magical monuments of this century... and he missed out on it... and his daughter sought to witness it with someone else she loved. Octavia didn't need him to be her sole source of happiness, which he greatly felt pleased about. Let the girl find her own place in the world, with friends and love …
Which left… Stolas alone… Blitz was his only friend... and he may have squandered his chances not once, but twice. First at Ozzie's, then with that outburst … okay, after today, he would try and talk with him more … you know … after somehow getting away.
An assassin with holy weapons. If Stolas wasn't bound, he would have murdered the little bastard for daring to aim his gun at Via. "Been a while since you've popped your head out of the ground. Finally decided to grow a pair?" Stolas glared as he struggled against the binding.
"Just gearin' up and biddin' my time. Had to find you some place open and exposed, and your misses was oh so generous in spillin' that tidbit." The assassin cackled as they sprinted into a tunnel.
"That would explain why she was screaming at me for the lack of money." Holy weapons weren't cheap in any sense of the word. If Carmine was trustworthy on one thing, it was making it hard to obtain the dangerous objects everyone else wanted. "Are you going to murder me now?"
"Takin' you back to my lair, she splurged on the 'rough' treatment. Lucky you, eh?"
"A lair, cliche much?" The Goetia rolled his eyes. "Okay; I've had enough of this." He struggled more against the ropes.
"Blessed rope. No demon magic bustin' though that stuff. Mammon got paid big bucks to be the test victim." He snickered lowly.
"Ooh… oooh..." Stolas tried to teleport, tried to wiggle out, tried to turn the bastard into stone…. Nothing was working. "Am… am I in actual danger?"
"Pffft, just typical of you blue blood types. You realize the fucking obvious too late." The man chuckled. "I'm gonna take my sweet time killing you, then the brat your little girl's plowin', and when I'm done … well, if a stray bullet hits her in the skull, who am I to feel bad about it?"
"Big talk for an imp with no tail between his legs." Stolas growled.
"Right … let's cut off yours when we get to have our little fun." He growled right back.
This... this was very concerning ... almost... worrying. Given his hands were free, Stolas reached into his pocket and made sure the bastard was looking away, before calling his emergency contact. "Millie, I swear to god-what is it Stolas-kind of busy at the moment-"
"Listen." He whispered. "I'm tied up on the back of a horse-"
"Lucky bastard." Blitz muttered "Look, I can't really join you in whatever kinky shit you need right now-" The instant assumption hurt. "But I'm currently taking my daughter to the V, E, T, for her S, H, O, T-"
"Aaaah, she's biting my neck!"
"Don't struggle while you're in the passenger seat, we'll go off the fucking road!"
"Light's fading fast!"
"It's an emergency, your little cowboy friend has me a bit tied up."
"Oh fuck. Which one?"
"Sir, is a cowboy army coming to kill us as likely as a clown army coming to kill us?"
"You're smart enough to know the answer to that already, Mox."
"It's the sexy one that shot Iruma." Stolas explained.
"You know you're within earshot right?" The man snatched the phone from his hands, smirking as he held it up. "Don't worry Blitz, enjoy your day. I'll wait until the week AFTER I murder your sugar daddy before breaking that human of yours in half." He stated, before crushing it in the palm of his hand. "Whoops. Good thing you're rich enough to just buy another, blue blood."
"You think I'm scared of you?" Stolas glared. "You've already failed to kill me once, and I've literally faced extermination head on. Holy weaponry or not, you don't intimidate me."
Shink
A knife went into his arm, cutting and burning. "Wanna try again?" He hissed.
"... Blitz's knife is sharper, and hits so much deeper." Stolas smirked.
"Oh fuck you!"
"He talks far more dirtier too, but I love the attempt." This imp was nobody, and as long as Blitz came, he had nothing to worry about ... there was nothing to truly fear.
Millie watched as Blitz tossed ANOTHER phone out of the window, grumbling to himself, proving the point Moxxie had about the money wasting. "Alright, new plan. Mox, you take the kids to the hospital. Me and Mills will search in Wrath for the bastard."
"Sir, with all due respect, both me and Millie have a score to settle with Striker after the last time." Moxxie growled.
She snarled. "Slippery littler fucker thinkin' he can get in the way of killing my tot." Millie may have hated Loona at the moment, but the fucker that crippled her baby was at the top of her shit list, and she was not going to let him get away with it again.
Blitz continued driving fast, but kept an eye on the rearview mirror, looking at them both. "You guys sure you can handle it? Last time it was just you two he locked you in a basement for later."
"Trust us Blitz, this time he ain't going to see us coming, especially without the tot giving him leverage against us…" She smiled at Iruma. "No offense sweetie, you did great last time."
"None… taken..." The boy gasped out as Loona held her bite on his shoulder. "Luckily… not the first... time… wolf bite… on me." Oooh she wanted to make the bitch pay.
"Fine then." Blitz slid the vehicle in front of the hospital, flipping over and pulling the tot and secretary out of the passenger seat. "If things get dicey there's an emergency rocket launcher in the back. Good luck, and don't die. Your asses are too fine to lose."
"Will do, sir." Moxxie nodded as he slid himself to the front seat.
"Stay safe, tot, and don't be afraid to shank a bitch if you're uncomfortable." Millie kissed the boy's cheek.
"Understood … I'd help ... but… I think … blood loss... Is … setting." He grimaced.
"Don't worry kid, get too hurt and we're already at the hospital. Now come on you two." Blitz lifted them both up. He groaned. "Gaah, the weight of parenthood … always thought it was a metaphor."
Before she could say anything else, Mox floored it, sending them back onto the streets and on the path to Wrath. She gave her husband a stink eye. "You did that on purpose."
"We don't have time to waste with the prince in danger." Mox stated without the beat. "I.M.P. is only in function because Stolas is alive, and Striker being free is a bigger threat to Iruma than anything else at the moment."
"But the closer danger to him is the bitch trying to chew through his flesh." Millie frowned.
"He'll be fine sweetie." Moxxie assured.
"She's biting down on him." She pointed out.
"I looked up a multitude of wolf and dog facts after working with Loona for a week." He informed. "She's biting him because she thinks she's going to die."
"And she's taking him with her!"
"No, because she wants him to be with her in her final moments."
Millie felt her eye twitching erratically. "…. You're telling me… she's basically doing a nonverbal love confession… and it's supposed to make me feel better!?" She screamed incredulously.
"… His safety is still intact?" He said weakly. "… Also Blitz would make sure Iruma's chastity stays safe… if he doesn't shoot his private off-dear Satan I'm bad at this." He lamented.
"Just pedal to the meddle Mox, the faster we get this done, the quicker we can save the tot from that furry freak's clutches." Millie cracked her knuckles.
"Again, he's already dating Stolas' daughter. Honestly, it's a miracle he looks past your disapproval as it is." Moxxie groaned.
"What? My family disapproves of you and I still love them." Millie shrugged.
"…. Touché." Moxxie nodded. "Although that's a concerning pattern of history repeating itself we may need to touch upon at a later date."
"As long as it's better than Crimson, I say we're doing all right." After the whole day with the mob, Moxxie told her everything … she should have cut that bastard's dick off while she was there. "So how are we going to find the slippery mother fucker? The most we know is that he's hiding around in Wrath somewhere."
"He's a known goetia killer. It's not like he'll just advertise where he is so that the royal family can hunt and kill him down." Mox argued. "We'll have to investigate every single eyewitness sighting, then form a long and complex chain of possible locations to help narrow down where to look …"
"He's galloping over the dusty planes-!" The sound of country music started playing as the van came close to a mariachi imp band. "Even the cacti know his name!" They played out as they got closer. "If you don't want to die don't cross his path." The two of them passed the band, having reached a crescendo of music. "The best assassin in the ring of Wrath!"
"We can ask them." Millie pointed out.
Moxxier rolled his eyes. "Oh please, the chances of them actually talking about Striker are about a hundred to one."
"He's Striker! He's Striker!" …. They instantly stopped the vehicle, slowly reversing. "Sure shootin', darn tootin', his name is Striker." And parked right in front of the band.
"Wanna bet money on that?" Millie smirked smugly.
"Next time we'll bet on who's on top." Mox shot back, before turning to the band of tinier imps. "Excuse me gentlemen, could you describe-?"
"Gonna bring that bird back to his lair!" The band cried out, instantly confirming their suspicions. "With his magic rope and his western flair!"
"That would explain why the princey hasn't gotten away yet, fucker's still using holy weapons." Millie muttered.
"We really need to save up some money." Moxxie grumbled.
"He's very good at causing pain!" They went on. "And he loves to ride on the choo-choo-" They were cut off by a train rushing past them.
"Yes sir, could you tell us where to find him?" Mox asked. "That would be-"
"Dirty dealin', Prince stealin'!" They kept on singing. "He's a villain, Striker!"
"Yes, we are aware he's-"
"He's fast and strong and tall and mean! The foulest imp you've ever seen-"
"We really don't have time for theme songs-!"
"He'll break your bones to hеar 'em crunch-"
"Time is of the essence-!"
"He likes to еat Pâté for lunch!" They cried. "He's Striker!"
"Just give us an answer-!"
"Hmm, ye-ye-yeah." One guy held a note. "He's Striker. He's Striker, he-"
"For the love of Satan stop singin' or I'm squeezing your heads off!" Millie grabbed two of the tiny imps by the horns. "Just tell us where he is!" She demanded.
"He's just three volcanoes down south." The man answered. "He's got 'n underground mine car lair that's a shrine to all his cowboy-isms."
"Thank you!" She shouted, before tossing them away. "Step on it, Mox!"
"Right!" Moxxie nodded. "…. Say, how does one get a theme song anyway? Especially a dickhead like that?"
"Being cool." The band shrugged.
Striker chuckled as he held up a bloody stump. "What do you know, your tail really DID come off." He loved it when they paid to torture blue bloods … felt so SATISFYING watching the fucker squirm. "Where's your big talk now?"
"Currently… stashed away... betting baffled... by your over... compensation…" The bastard coughed up blood as they stared up at his personal and very life-like statue. He glared. "Seriously… you're just… making it obvious with that stone phallus."
"Says the rich pompous asshole so obsessed with his own superiority that he genuinely thinks an imp could love him." He glared right back.
"Says the…. supposed supremacist … who hates royals but put himself… under one's leash." The prick snickered.
SHANK
And there went his left shoulder blade. "I am under no one's leash." He hissed. "I'm a free for hire. I get paid to murder whoever I want, whenever I want. If I didn't have the pride to go through on a contract kill, you probably could have persuaded me to go after your bitch wife."
"Aahh … I see … you're just a greedy fucker … like Mammon." The bird bastard smirked even as the pain became more and more visible on his pompous bitch face. "Probably... just the loan shark in you-"
Shank
And there went the kneecap. "Don't you dare imply anything, you don't have the right." He growled, sharpening his knife. "I'm above the average imp, taller, smarter, stronger, and I've worked my way up in spite of royal blue bloods like you tearing everything apart!"
"Sounds like … someone's … a bit pompous themselves …" He smirked. "You hypocrite-"
SHANK
Striker drilled the knife into their stomach. "That's it, I think I've had enough time playing around." And began twisting it. "Let's see how many organs come crashing out once I carve you like a turkey!" He called as he lifted it up, wiping the blue blood across the bastard's face. "Got any last words you want me to carve on your tomb? I'll pay for it personally with the money your bitch'll pay me with."
"... Blitzy …"
"... Cute." He swung forward-
Riiiing
His phone cried out. "... Fuckin-" Striker grumbled, shoving a hand onto the bastard's beak as he opened it up. "Yello?"
"Change of plans darling, turns out the bastard is worth more to me alive at the moment."
"What the fuc-I'm in the middle of killing him right now!" Rich bitch ruining the good and best part of the job.
"Well don't, I'll pay double to put it off for now."
Striker sighed in annoyance. Personally he'd rather just gut the fucker here and now. "Fine, the next target's gonna be more satisfying anyhow." Shoot one right into that little human brat's head.
"About that, turns out Octavia's dating a sin, so kindly refrain from killing him."
… Striker, really, really, hated bluebloods. He deeply sighed. "Understood ma'am." He hung up, tossing his phone away, it smashed into a rock and became in pieces. "Good news blue blood, your missus wants you alive."
"That's … actually quite concerning." He coughed.
"Bad news, I'm so pissed off that I'm gonna kill your daughter after handing you over." Striker muttered darkly. He reached for the fucker's throat. "But I can't have you tellin' people what I look like or what I'm doin' … so let's start by ripping out your voice box."
The blue blood's glare intensified. "I don't care how fucking long it takes, get within ten feet of her and I will eradicate you atom by atom!"
"Hollow words from a dead man walking." He chuckled, slowly sinking in the knife into-
Beep Beep
Striker turned his head, seeing a familiar van enter his lair, driving down to the ramp … and crashing through it. "What in the hell-!" He exclaimed in shock.
The van rolled on its side for a few seconds, before it landed topside, the little bitch couple of Blitzo's clown posse jumping out of it. "Should have listened to the radio, dick!" The tiny fucker shouted as he shot a few rounds at him.
Striker moved out of the way, pulling out one of his cheaper pistols and firing off a few bullets at the bastard's hand, disarming him as he rushed in. Seems like he WOULD be getting a kill today. "Not today, fuck face!" That bitch hick screamed as she twirled an axe, which Striker easily dodged and slipped between. "This time I'm not giving you the chance to run away like the yellow belly coward you are!"
"Who needs to run when it's just the two of you?" He chuckled, firing off bullets to force her on guard as he avoided the shots from the tiny man's gun, one of which hit his radio.
"Whatcha think about now? (Whatcha think about now?)" Hehe, perfect song to kick their ass. "Whatcha think is gonna begin?" Striker fired off a few rounds at the imp, avoiding the hick's axe as he kicked out her legs.
"Whatcha think about now? (Whatcha think about now?)" The little bastard fired at his shoulder with twin pistols, forcing Striker to roll over and deliver a roundhouse kick across the little bastard's stomach.
"You couldn't handle me in an enclosed space, what made you think a little more wiggle room would help you out any!?" Striker laughed as he took out his lasso. "Be it range or strength, I don't lose to no imp!"
"Whatcha think is gonna begin? Natural, natural, natural! Natural, natural, natural, yeah!"
"We get it, you suck your own dick because you eat up your own hype!" The little bastard shouted in an annoyed tone as he shot at his horns. "Still didn't stop you from losing your tail to a weaponless human teenager!"
Growling, he fired off another bullet, before using his knife to disarm the blade the imp girl had, launching it at the radio. "You ain't never shoulda called (You ain't never shoulda—)!"
Which instantly changed tunes. "Oh, woah, can ya tell me whatcha thinkin' about? (Whatcha thinkin' about?)
"Are you fucking kidding me right now!?" He growled, dodging another bullet.
"Oh, big rough and tough dickhead afraid to fight when his favorite music isn't playing!?" The bitch shouted with a mock laugh as she took bigger swings at him with that axe. "Then allow me to give the baby his bottle!"
"Oh, nuh, I ain't never wanna let you down (Whatcha thinkin' about?)" He kicked her in the stomach while getting nicked by the cut, taking a moment to breathe as he avoided another bullet, firing a few rounds at the tiny dick.
"Like I said, don't you get cocky!" Using his lasso, he wrapped it around a rock and whirled it around like a wrecking ball, slamming away the little bastards and throwing it right into the bitch's direction, making her drop her axe as she was slammed into the wall.
"So, I got you all in my mind (Woah, oh-oh-oh)! Oh, woah, got my head spinning round and round (Whatcha thinkin'-?)" Picking up the axe, he threw it right into the bitch's head... only for it to just pin her against the wall, trapping her neck between the rock and the axe.
Striker tsked. "Shoot, guess you'll die later rather than sooner." Seeing the tiny guy reach for his gun, he walked over and stomped on his back. "What was the big plan here? Fight and hope to win?" Striker stomped on the imp's spine. "Last I checked, you're nothin' but a loser. Your boss has skills, your gal has skills, even your brat has skills … you just get a few lucky shots in and you couldn't even hit me once." Striker grinned, slamming him into a wall. "You lost against me, your pappy, and everything else in your fuckin' life, the damsel in distress!" He wrapped his hands around him and began squeezing every last ounce of breath out of him. "And now… you're going to die choking, like the little bitch you are…"
"Ha… ha…" The little bastard gasped out.
"Go ahead runt… say those final words of yours, as pathetic as they'll be."
"...Ha…. harder, daddy..." The little bastard grinned with pleasure.
Striker recoiled, reeling back in disgust. "What the fuck-" Was everyone around these idiots a sex frea-!?
POW POW POW
Three shots were fired off into his gut as the little bastard punched him across the face. "Oohh, you little-"
Crack
The bitch hit his statue, as it began to fall down towards Striker. "Son of a-!"
SMASH
Iruma lightly tapped his foot as he waited as patiently as he could in the lobby. Hospitals already gave him a feeling of unease, and that was especially so given this was a hospital in the Sloth ring. There was also the fact that Loona was squeezing and biting him out of fear (and maybe affection, the lick gave him a few mixed feelings) so his comfort levels were rather low to begin with.
Not to mention the look the fish people were giving him. "… Hello there." He lightly waved to the little boy staring at him.
"Look mommy, a freak of nature." The boy grinned.
"Now sweetie, don't call them that to their face." The mother of said fish boy nodded. "Remember, always insult people behind their backs."
"Oooh, like how you want to call the fire toads dumb mother fuckers whenever we're in the car?"
"Exactly." … Iruma didn't have much of an opinion on Envy since he only visited the place one for fishing, and he didn't want to assume … but this was giving him vibes almost as bad as Greed, except more condescending and... A bit prejudicial.
"Nice fucking kid you got there, real charmer." Blitz grumbled as he sat on the chair next to him. "Five fucking years of getting on a list and force me to wait it out in this dumb joint. Fan fuckingtastic."
"Can't you just learn what's in the needle-squeezing squeezing harder-!" Iruma winced as Loona's grip got harder, her claws almost hitting skin. "And … make the substance … yourself?"
"Do I look like a chemistry teacher to you kid? I don't have time to learn any of that shit especially with jobs."
"I can teach you if you want." Iruma offered once he could breathe again. "Since hospitals were too expensive, I had to learn to make my own tetanus sh-" Tighter! "… Thing."
"Mommy, the doggies are talking to the fire toads like he can actually think for himself."
"They probably don't know any better sweetie, they're just dumb animals with no autonomy of their own." …It was sad that Iruma didn't even feel that insulted by that, that was essentially most of his life in the simplest of words.
"… Let's talk after I take her out." Blitz pulled out a gun as he tackled the woman. "I have killed for less bitch, don't you DARE insult my daughter like that!"
"Filthy wrathian swine, get your inbred uneducated slimy body off of me!" She yelled.
"First, I'm not from Wrath, second, fuck your watery vag and the little bastard that popped out of it, and three, you suck and I'm going to DRIVE THIS BULLET THROUGH YOUR HEAD INCH BY INCH!"
"Mr. O… Mr. O….. your Hellbies shot appointment is ready." The sleeping looking goat lady spoke from the desk, making Loona tense up again.
"Teeth just sunk past the skin, claws are entering the body!" Iruma called out as he did his best to withstand the pain. She was just freaking out and scared out of her mind. Being her… for lack of a better word, a stress ball, was the least he could do for her after all she's done for him… even if it really, really hurt.
"Just tough it out kid, I'll buy you dinner when this is over." Bliz said, knocking out the fish lady with a back hand of the gun before helping drag Iruma inside.
"Hmmph hmmph hmmph hmmmph." Loona whimpered with each step they took, shaking as they approached the door.
"It'll be fine Loonie, don't worry about it. Quick and over, don't you worry." Blitz reassured the girl, rubbing her fur gently. "Then we can have some fun."
They arrived into a normal patient room, sitting down as a pink furred goat looking doctor came in. "Lets see … Mr. Blitzo." The man twitched. "This is for a hellbies shot, right?" Loona shook harder.
"Yes. And the S word is a bit of a trigger, so she's going to be really feisty."
"Ah, I've seen my fair share of scared hounds." The man smiled friendly, reaching into a drawer … and pulling out a needle as big as Iruma. "Just a pinch and we'll be good to go, come here now-"
"GRrrrrrr." Loona growled dangerously as she took Iruma out of her mouth and let go … before grabbing him with one arm as she took an aggressive stance.
He gulped. "Guys, as someone who's familiar with wolf behavior… she's in a state where she could bite your faces off in a split second whim."
"Oh come now, just one little-" And then Loona punched the doctor, leaping around the room with a growl.
"SHIT!" Blitz screamed, running after her. "Loonie, calm down sweetie, calm the fuck down!"
"Ggggrrrraaaaaah!" Loona howled back as she went into chasing after Blitz, biting him by the tail and slamming him into a wall.
"FUCK!" He screamed in pain. "Kid, get her attention while I try holding her down!"
"I've had her attention this entire time!" Iruma screamed, dismayed.
"Well, get more of her attention, for once the fact Loonie likes you should be a good thing for me-ahhh!" Loona bit Blitz on the leg and slammed him on a counter repeatedly over and over.
Okay, Loona was feral, and clearly out of the way of common sense. He needed some way to reassure her … "What do wolves do whenever they start getting antsy with each other?" Iruma whispered to himself. He thought back to the times he was chased by several packs. Licked each other for one… he was already feeling weird when Loona did that, and in this state she might bite off his tongue if he tried.
She was moving too fast and antsy for headpats and scratches to really be effective, and he didn't want his arms to be bitten again…
Wait… was biting the answer? She was biting him to reassure herself, and the wolf leader usually bit the other wolves to keep them in line… he didn't want to hurt her, though given how much tougher his teeth were than hers… "Kid, do somethinnnnnnnnnnnng-!" Blitz screamed as he was tossed through a wall, creating a hole outside.
"Wow, I didn't even have to be in the office or hotel this time." Iruma muttered. Shaking his head, he may as well get misunderstandings out of the air. "Octavia, if you're listening, know I wouldn't do this if I didn't think I had another choice!" He announced out loud as he junked from his spot and leapt right on Loona's back.
"Grrrrrr!" And now she was slamming repeatedly into the walls to shake him off, lovely.
"It's okay, I've literally been in more painful situations than this!" And that was before he had whatever Bee did to his body. "Loona, I hope this doesn't make things weird between us again!" He looked to her shoulder, where there would be enough firm skin and bone to bite and not get hurt too much. "Really, really sorry about this!" He opened his mouth wide, and sunk his teeth in.
CHOMP
Loona instantly paused, her tension fading as she began slumping… and blushing. "Aaaaaaahhhh~" She moaned in a state of satisfaction.
"Questioning thoughts later, now doc!" Blitz screamed.
The doctor ran over quickly, jamming the oversized needle into her backside.
"Aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeee!" She howled in a high pitched whine as the medicine was inserted, before she kicked the doctor, who slammed right into Blitz as they got sent through another wall, making another hole.
"Two for two this time." Iruma nodded before turning back to Loona, who was still glowering in a predatory stance on all fours, but otherwise looked a little less aggressive. He softened his face. "It's okay, it's okay, the scary part's over." He gently approached as he rubbed her head how she liked it.
Loona stilled for a bit before relaxing, her growling stopped. "Over … over … over …" She rambled, her fur falling a bit more flat.
"You did great, amazing." He reassured with a smile as he approached her, slowly and gently hugging her, and Iruma immediately felt her tension leave her body. "And now it's over. You don't have to think about it ever again."
"Never again, never again, never again..." She slowly nodded as she returned the hug, this time her grip being far less death-like and tight… it... it felt nice... and he felt... strangely more connected to Loona for some reason.
"Just one more thing." The doctor spoke up, getting their attention as she tensed again. "I need to place this on her to prevent her biting the area." He held up a dog cone. "Then you all are free to leave."
"Thank fuck, this was getting old." Blitz wiped the rubble off his clothes. He sighed in exhaustion. "And because you did such a good job kid, I'm not going to shoot you for getting your dirty mouth on my daughter."
"... Alright." Just take the compliment.
Loona had a cone placed on her head, groaning with embarrassment as she was led out by Blitz. "Now Suzuki." The doctor said, his glasses glinted to white. "I remember you once staying at this hospital and leaving without paying your bill."
"….." He took a deep breath … and got on all fours and started running away.
"We got a runner!"
"Maybe I should at least kick your butt a little for that last bit of chaos." Blitz grumbled as he wiped off the blood. "Gonna make getting an appointment again a fuckin nightmare."
"They forced drugs on me the first time I came here and expected me to pay them." The kid grumbled as he disregarded the fishy arm that he ripped off, his mutant arm casually chowing down on it. "This was all self defense on my part. I'm not the one who took out a machine gun."
He grumbled, but left it at that. "Alright, you two wait on the bench or something. I'll call M and M and get a progress report, then take you two out wherever you want."
"Hmmmmmmph." Loonie muttered as she clung onto Iruma in a less vice grip.
"Ah… we're leaving the hospital Loona, you don't have to hold-" Loonie scooted closer to the kid. "Or you can just stay like this, your choice."
You didn't have the right to judge Blitz, just let them hold each other. "Come on you two, pick up, you have the ride-"
Slam
An ambulance slammed him into another wall. He groaned explosively. "I fucking damn it, why is slamming me the chore of the day-aaaahhhh!" He got run over by a crowd of people with cameras as a gurney passed over him for a brief second… the unmistakable feathers and legs of Stolas flashing above him before he was continually run over.
"Sir?" Mox asked. "You alright?"
"Absolutely not damn it." He growled as he stood up, cracking every aching bone in his body. "What the fuck was that?"
"Striker roughed him up really badly before we got there." Millie nodded, she bit her lips in grimace. "He got really hurt; lost his tail and right kneecap."
"He …" Blitz felt his blood in every vein run cold as he gazed at the door. "He can get hurt?"
"Can't everyone?" The kid asked from his hold. "Life is the same whether you're on Earth or Hell. Even angels can die." Iruma nodded. "If you have blood, heck, if you breathe, you can get hurt."
He … could get hurt … he was hurt … like everyone else … like everyone you touch."Sir, are you alright?" Moxxie asked again, looking concerned. "You... you can visit Stolas if you want to. I'm sure he'd appreciate the company."
"... No … no, the hospital isn't gonna let us back in for about a week at least." Blitz shook his head. "Let's just … let's all just head out. Get the kids what they want for the night."
"Speak of which." Millie smiled as she grabbed Iruma's arm. "Let go of my baby now."
"Hmmph." Loona muffled from her cone as she held onto the kid.
"It's fine Millie, she's not squeezing me to death anymore."
"Dont care, she's hogged your attention long enough." Millie pulled harder.
"I feel like a piece of rope right now." Iruma muttered as he was pulled back and forth.
People... even people like Stolas... anyone close to him could get hurt at any moment… So much pain … way too much. Blitz…. Blitz needed to unfuck his life…. He needed to make up with Barbie.
