I called my mom that night.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded. "You spent the first week after Maks' birth here and didn't say a word about taking Dimitri's place on the Royal Guard."
"I didn't know at the time," she said. "I figured his leave was probably coming to an end soon, though, so I reached out to Vasilisa. Lord Szelsky had an upcoming trip planned that got moved forward a bit due to his health, and the rest was history."
"Thank you," I whispered.
Her voice softened. "He needs you there. Maksim. He needs both of you there."
I bit my lip. "He's going to hate me, isn't he? Just like I hated you?"
She didn't speak for a moment. "Possibly. There's a chance he'll understand, though."
I sighed. "We both know the chances of that are slim. He is my son, after all."
My mom let out a small laugh. "It'll be okay, Rose. Maybe you won't have to be away from him for too long. He might barely remember you being gone."
"Yeah, maybe," I said, absentmindedly. "I have to go, though. Lissa's taking us out to dinner."
"Okay, be safe," my mom said. "Give Maksim my love."
"I will," I promised. "Thank you."
I thought over her words as I got ready for dinner, but honestly, I wasn't sure how often I'd be able to travel back to him or when he'd be able to join us at Court, if ever. Dimitri appeared in the doorway with Maksim in his arms as I was pulling on my jeans. I left them unsnapped for the moment.
"Is he hungry?" I asked.
Dimitri nodded and passed him over. I unsnapped the cup of my nursing bra so he could latch and took a seat on the rocking chair in the corner. Olena had surprised us with it when we came home from the hospital. The space in the room was tight with the regular furniture, plus Maksim's bassinet and the rocking chair, but we were making it work.
"Are you ready for tonight?"
I grimaced. "As ready as I can be."
Maksim was three weeks old, at this point, and tonight would be the first time we were leaving him alone with the family. I had rarely left his side and spent most of my days keeping him near me or with him in my arms. I wanted to have all the time I could before leaving him in a couple of months. Dimitri and I knew his family was more than capable of watching him for a couple of hours, but my anxiety was still skyrocketing.
"We can always stay home," Dimitri said. "Lissa would understand."
I shook my head. "No, we need to do this," I said. "It's just a couple of hours."
Dimitri pressed a kiss to my forehead. "We can come home at any point. Just say the word."
I nodded and passed him Maksim. Dimitri started burping him as I tried to button my jeans. I didn't gain much weight during my pregnancy and my bump didn't get very large, so most of my old clothes still fit, but as I was trying to button them, I decided I didn't want to wear jeans after all. I yanked them off and crossed to the closet. I sorted through the clothes before finally pulling out a long dress. It went to my ankles and had long sleeves that would keep me warm through the nip in the air. I wasn't usually a fan of dresses, but it was more desirable than a pair of pants right now. I changed quickly and tugged on a pair of ankle boots to finish the outfit. I grabbed my purse, checking to make sure my stake was in there. I hadn't had to use one since being in Baia, but I wasn't going to take any chances, regardless of whether I was on duty or not.
When I finished, I saw that Maksim was sound asleep in Dimitri's arms, and I followed Dimitri downstairs, where he placed Maks in the bassinet we had set up in the living room.
"Mama, we're leaving," Dimitri told Olena, kissing her cheek.
She smiled. "Have fun. We'll call you if we need you."
I glanced over and saw Vika perched by the bassinet, watching Maksim. I knew she would be scooping him up to hold him the second he woke up, possibly even sooner, and I smiled. Dimitri laced his fingers through mine and pulled me from the room. Lissa was renting the house next door again, as the owners weren't coming back until the end of the month, and Dimitri and I crossed the yard and walked through the front door. Lissa and Christian were waiting in the entryway.
"Ready?" she asked.
I nodded. "Let's go."
Dinner went better than I thought it would. My thoughts kept straying to Maksim, and I was constantly checking my phone to see if Olena had texted or called, but there were a few moments where I was able to lose myself in the conversation, and it was almost like the good, old days.
"How are you liking motherhood, Rose?" Christian asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I smiled. "Surprisingly, I love it. I hadn't put much thought into having children in the past, so I'm not sure what I was expecting. I figured I would have a child eventually, but once I met Dimitri, I let go of that thought, since we never even considered this possibility."
"Do you want more kids?" Lissa asked eagerly.
I could feel Dimitri watching me, waiting for my response. I laughed. "Let's take it one at a time, Liss. Maks is barely three weeks old."
Lissa laughed, and the conversation shifted to her engagement and upcoming wedding. They were planning it for later this year and were considering having it in October. Lissa chatted away about venues and various other wedding details. I listened, trying to be as attentive as possible, but I knew she could tell I was barely hanging on.
"Okay, one more thing, and then enough about the wedding," Lissa said. She glanced up at me. "Rose, will you be my maid of honor?"
I grinned. "Do you even have to ask?"
Lissa matched my grin. We had promised each other as preteens that we'd be each other's maid of honor when the time came, partially as a joke because I never dreamed of getting married. I glanced over at Dimitri, who was watching me with a soft look in his eyes. Maybe Lissa would get to fill that role for me one day, after all.
Dinner wrapped up an hour or so later. I was getting more antsy the longer I was away from Maksim, and my boobs were starting to ache with the need to have him nurse or, at the very least, pump. Dimitri could see that I was ready to leave and effortlessly wrapped the dinner up, guiding our conversation to a pause and getting the check. Lissa insisted on the dinner being her treat, and she laid her card down before either of us could move.
"You didn't have to pay," I said.
She shrugged and smiled. "I wanted to."
"You're already doing too much," I said. "I mean, Maksim's bank account has more money in it than most adults."
"You knew I was going to spoil him," she said. "Think of it as a pay raise. I'm trying to get the Council to agree on new pay for the guardians anyway."
That was news to me, and the conversation continued as we walked outside. Lissa's guard flanked us, enclosing the group in a ring, with me and Dimitri in the center alongside Lissa and Christian. Neither of us were on guard, but our eyes scanned the parking lot, taking in every detail. I froze as the tell-tale nausea swept through me.
"Dimitri," I hissed. He sensed my tone immediately. "Buria."
I had just managed to get the word out when the three Strigoi attacked. They came at us from three sides, including from behind, but we had just enough of a warning that they weren't able to get the jump on us. It also helped that Lissa was traveling with nearly her full guard, and there were three dhampirs to each attacking Strigoi.
I regretted wearing the dress at the moment and hated the way my body was slower to react. Parts of me were still sore from the delivery a few weeks ago, and despite exercising nearly every day during my pregnancy, I hadn't had the time or energy to exercise since having Maksim. In the end, though, it didn't matter. Dimitri attacked the Strigoi that came up behind us with a fierceness that required no help. The other guardian closest to us turned to one of the other Strigoi once he saw Dimitri needed no help. A viciousness appeared on Dimitri's face as his stake found the Strigoi's heart, and I watched as Dimitri continued to stake him, even once the Strigoi was dead. By that point, the other two Strigoi were also dead, and the rest of the guardians were hustling Lissa and Christian back to their SUV.
"Dimitri," I whispered, pressing my hand against his shoulder. "He's dead."
Dimitri barely seemed to hear me. I noticed the first SUV – the one with Lissa and Christian – leaving the parking lot and knew we needed to leave, too. Alchemists were on their way to take care of the bodies.
"Dimitri, look at me." I tried again, pressing my hand to his cheek. This gave him pause. "Come back to me. I need you. Maksim needs you."
The mention of our son seemed to bring him back, and he released his stake, letting it clatter to the ground.
"Roza?"
"I'm here," I whispered. "Let's go home."
He nodded, and I helped him stand, bending back down to grab his stake a moment later. We made it back to the SUV, and Dimitri clenched my hand the entire way home. As soon as we arrived back to the Belikovas, Dimitri disappeared into our bedroom to change his clothes and clean his hands before he reappeared in the living room. Vika barely had to glance at his face before handing Maksim over without a word. Dimitri held our son close to him, cradling him in his arms. He sat down on the couch, and I perched next to him, shaking my head subtly when Vika looked over at me.
"I'll be right back," I told Dimitri. He nodded, signaling he heard me, and I stood, walking out of the room. I could hear Vika following me.
"What happened?"
"Strigoi attack," I said. "We're all fine, but Dimitri was a little bit shaken up. He doesn't want to talk about it."
She nodded, biting her lip. "Okay."
"I'm going to go check on Lissa," I said. Vika nodded again, and I slipped out the front door.
Lissa and Christian were sitting in the living room when I walked into the house next door. Lissa leapt to her feet.
"You're okay," she said, relief in her voice.
"I'm fine," I said. "I barely had to fight. Which was a good thing, considering I'm a bit out of practice."
Christian looked like he wanted to roll his eyes, but he surprisingly held off. He couldn't keep back the sarcastic comment, though. "Yeah, I mean, it's not like you just had a baby or anything."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Haha, very funny."
"Is Dimitri okay?" Lissa asked.
I nodded. "He's with Maksim. He lost it a bit with the Strigoi he killed."
I explained what happened to Lissa, and she nodded. "I'm not surprised. I remember Adrian telling me something similar had happened when they were looking for Jill. They found a Strigoi who knew where Sonya was, and during the interrogation, Adrian said Dimitri lost control."
I sat down on a chair by the couch, and Lissa slowly returned to her seat. Christian's arm automatically went around her shoulders, holding her close.
"It almost seemed like he was so intent on ridding the world of evil by killing that Strigoi, and he was so focused on that that he didn't realize the Strigoi was dead," I said after a moment.
Lissa nodded again. "That sounds similar to how Adrian described it. Adrian said it felt like Dimitri had a personal vendetta against the Strigoi and needed to make up for his time as one by destroying every Strigoi possible."
"That could get dangerous if he's by himself. If he gets distracted…" I trail off with a frown, not wanting to say the words. Lissa reached over and squeezed my hand.
"He's not going to be by himself," she said. "Any time we leave Court, there are always at least five guardians with me, more if there are other Moroi around, like Christian."
I nodded, not voicing my thoughts about instances when there were too many Strigoi for five guardians to fight. I didn't want to accidentally manifest it into happening.
I stood from the chair. "I'm going to head back over and feed Maksim. I just wanted to check in on you both first."
Lissa stood as well, wrapping me in a quick hug. "I'll see you in the morning."
I nodded, wished Christian a good night, and slipped back out of the house. When I returned to the Belikovas, I wasn't surprised to see Dimitri in the same spot with Maksim still in his arms. Maksim was awake, but he wasn't fussing, something I was a little surprised by since we were a bit late to his feeding this time around.
Dimitri looked up when I entered the room, and I was relieved to see that he seemed more like himself. I sat on the couch next to him, curling my legs up underneath myself. He shifted how he was holding Maksim so one arm was free to wrap around me. I scooted closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.
"How are you feeling?" I murmured.
"I'm okay. Better now," he said. "I don't like losing control."
"I know," I said. That was one of the first things I learned about him. "I heard this wasn't the first time."
Dimitri nodded. "Adrian told you?"
"Lissa, actually," I said.
He glanced over at me. "Are they okay?"
I nodded. "They're both fine."
"Good," he said. Maksim started stirring in Dimitri's arms, deciding he had enough waiting. "Let's go upstairs."
I nodded and followed him upstairs where I changed from my dress into a sleep set. I left the shirt off for now, waiting until after I fed Maksim to put it on. While I was changing, Dimitri checked Maksim's diaper and changed it before passing him to me. It took a moment for Maksim to latch, and I murmured softly to him as he fed.
Dimitri moved in and out of the room as he got ready for bed, and he switched places with me to burp and swaddle Maksim when he was done eating so that I could get ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before slipping back into our bedroom. Dimitri was still holding Maksim, even though he was asleep, and I smiled at my boys.
"Are you tired?"
Dimitri shook his head. "Not really. I can take him downstairs so you can sleep, though."
I frowned. "No, it's okay. But I would really like it if you came to bed with me."
I knew he knew what I was trying to do, and Dimitri didn't fight me on it. He placed Maksim in his bassinet and turned off the overhead light. The small lamp on the nightstand on Dimitri's side of the bed was still on, giving us just enough light to see by. I crawled underneath the covers, leaving Dimitri's side flipped up so he could climb in bed, too. As soon as he did, Dimitri was pulling me into his arms, my back against his chest.
"I'm not going anywhere," I murmured. "Maksim and I are right here."
I felt Dimitri nod. "I can't lose you. Either of you."
"You're not going to," I said. "I promise you that."
I felt Dimitri nod again, and as I started to fall asleep, I knew it would be a while before Dimitri did. He would spend most of the night watching over us.
Thanks for bearing with me on the delay for this chapter! My part of Georgia just went through a snow storm and things are finally starting to get back to normal. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, and the next one will be up soon!
