Chapter 6
A/N: Alright Guys, I hope I justified all the changes and
updates and I hope I didn't lose any readers along the
way, don't forget to review I love hearing feedback and
appreciation. After this I will try to update more
frequently so please stick around I promise it will be
worth it
Bella POV
The weight in my lower abdomen was undeniable now. It wasn't just
a flutter or a vague sense of fullness anymore. It was a distinct
pressure, a gentle nudge that sometimes felt like a tiny kick. It was
real. This life growing inside me was real. The realization sent a fresh
wave of panic through me, a cold dread that settled deep in my
bones. Everything was so new, so terrifying. I would find myself
staring at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes drawn to the subtle
curve of my stomach, a curve that was becoming increasingly
difficult to hide. I was 16 weeks along, and the baggy clothes I had
been relying on were starting to feel inadequate.
Working at the bookstore in Port Angeles had become my refuge, a
small pocket of normalcy in a life that felt anything but normal. The
smell of old paper and the quiet murmur of browsing customers
were oddly comforting. The job also provided a much-needed
source of income, a small contribution to the daunting task of
preparing for a baby. I still hadn't told Charlie. The words seemed to
catch in my throat every time I tried, choked by a mixture of guilt and
fear.
But the biggest weight on my heart was Jacob. The silence between
us had stretched into weeks, an agonizing void that echoed with
unspoken words. I hadn't heard from him since that dismissive text,
and the thought of him, of what he must be thinking, was a constant
torment. I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. I had to tell him. He
deserved to know.
The drive to La Push was agonizing. Every mile that passed brought
me closer to the inevitable confrontation, closer to facing the
consequences of my actions. I parked in front of Jacob's house, my
hands trembling as I turned off the engine. Taking a deep breath, I
stepped out of the truck, my heart pounding in my chest.
As I approached the house, I saw Ana through the window. A pang of
nausea hit me, a sharp twist of jealousy that made my stomach
churn. The thought of her being there, constantly by Jacob's side,
was like a physical blow. I forced myself to ignore the feeling,
focusing on the task at hand.
I knocked on the door, my knuckles rapping against the weathered
wood. Ana opened it, her expression guarded.
"Bella," she said, her voice flat.
"Hi, Ana," I managed, my voice barely above a whisper. "Is Jacob
here? I need to talk to him."
Ana shook her head. "He's not here."
My heart sank. "Do you know where he is?"
"No," she replied, her eyes avoiding mine.
Desperation clawed at me. "Can I…can I talk to Billy, then?"
Ana hesitated for a moment, then stepped aside, allowing me to
enter. The house felt empty; the air heavy with a sense of absence.
Billy wheeled himself into the living room, his face etched with
worry. The sight of him, so obviously distressed, sent a wave of
panic through me.
"Bella," he said, his voice low and grave.
"Billy, is Jacob, okay?" I asked, my voice trembling. The look on his
face was enough to confirm my worst fears.
He sighed; his gaze filled with a deep sadness. "Bella, I…I don't
know where he is."
My breath caught in my throat. "What do you mean? Has something
happened?"
"He hasn't been home in weeks," Billy said, his voice barely a
whisper. "He…he was pretty beat up about you."
The words hit me like a physical blow. Weeks? He'd been gone for
weeks? The guilt washed over me, a crushing weight that threatened
to suffocate me. Even when I wasn't trying to hurt him, I still
managed to cause him so much pain.
"I…I didn't know," I stammered, tears welling in my eyes. "I just…I
needed to talk to him."
"He's been…gone," Billy repeated, his eyes filled with worry. "He's
been hurting, Bella. Real bad."
I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They streamed down my
face, hot and fast. I had come here hoping to find Jacob, hoping to
explain everything, but now…now I didn't even know where he was.
"Please," I choked out, wiping at my tears with the back of my hand.
"Please, if you see him, tell him I was here. Tell him I need to talk to
him."
Billy nodded slowly, his eyes filled with a mixture of pity and
understanding. I turned and fled, stumbling back to my truck, the
sobs wracking my body. The drive home was a blur of tears and
regret. I had come to La Push hoping to find some kind of resolution,
but I had only found more pain.
Jacob POV
The forest was my sanctuary, my refuge from the pain that gnawed
at me from the inside out. In my wolf form, the physical world was
sharper, clearer. The scent of damp earth, the rustle of leaves, the
distant call of an owl – these were the things that anchored me, that
kept me from completely losing myself in the darkness of my
thoughts.
I ran for days, weeks blurring into a continuous cycle of hunting,
sleeping, and running. I avoided the familiar trails, venturing deep
into the uncharted territories of the Olympic Peninsula, seeking
solitude in the dense undergrowth and towering trees.
The pack mind was a constant presence, a subtle hum of worry and
concern. Embry, Quil, and even Leah tried to reach me, their
thoughts laced with anxiety. They urged me to come home, telling
me they needed their Alpha. But I couldn't face them. I couldn't face
the pity in their eyes, the unspoken questions about Bella.
Leah's thoughts were the most persistent, a steady stream of
concern and advice. She believed I should talk to Bella, that there
was some misunderstanding that needed to be cleared up. But I
knew better. There was no misunderstanding. The message was
clear. She didn't want me.
"Jake," Leah's voice echoed in my mind one night as I lay curled
beneath a giant cedar, the rain pattering softly on my fur. "You need
to come home. You can't keep running like this."
"There's nothing for me there," I responded, my thoughts heavy with
despair.
"There's your pack," Embry's voice chimed in. "We need you, man."
"And there's Bella," Leah added, her voice softer. "Maybe…maybe
you should talk to her. Maybe there's something you don't
understand."
I let out a low growl, a sound filled with pain and frustration.
"There's nothing to understand," I thought back, my voice laced
with bitterness. "She made her choice. She doesn't want me. It's
that simple."
"It's not that simple, Jake," Leah insisted. "You two…you're
imprinted. That means something. It has to."
"It means nothing if she doesn't want it," I retorted, my thoughts
laced with a deep sadness. "I finally understand. I'm not good
enough. I never was."
The conversation ended there, leaving me alone with my thoughts,
the rain continuing its relentless rhythm. I curled tighter into myself,
the cold seeping into my bones, mirroring the chill in my heart. The
pain was a constant companion, a dull ache that never truly went
away. It wasn't just the text message itself, but the dismissive
nature of it, the weeks of avoidance that had preceded it. It all
pointed to one undeniable truth: Bella no longer wanted me in her
life. And that was a truth I couldn't outrun, no matter how far I went.
Bella POV
The drive back to Forks was a blur of rain-streaked windows and
choked sobs. The image of Billy's face, etched with worry and
sadness, haunted me. Jacob was gone. Not just physically absent,
but gone in a way that felt deeper, more profound. The realization
that he had been suffering alone for weeks, believing that I didn't
want him, was a crushing weight on my soul. I had come to La Push
hoping to find some solace, some way to bridge the chasm between
us, but I had only succeeded in widening it.
I pulled into the driveway, the familiar sight of Charlie's house doing
nothing to ease the turmoil inside me. I stumbled out of the truck,
my legs feeling weak and unsteady. The rain had stopped, leaving
the air heavy with the scent of wet earth and pine needles. The sky
was a bruised purple, the last remnants of daylight fading into the
twilight.
I entered the house, the quiet hum of the television filling the living
room. Charlie was in his usual armchair, his eyes glued to the
football game on the screen. He looked up as I entered, his brow
furrowing as he took in my tear-streaked face.
"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. He
muted the television, his attention fully focused on me. "Was
everything okay in La Push?"
The dam inside me broke. The tears that I had been desperately
trying to hold back came flooding out, hot and fast. I couldn't speak,
couldn't form the words to explain the mess I had made of
everything. I just stood there, shaking my head, the sobs wracking
my body.
Charlie was out of his chair in an instant, his arms wrapping around
me in a comforting embrace. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he murmured,
his voice soothing. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."
I clung to him, burying my face in his shoulder, the familiar scent of
his flannel shirt a small comfort in the midst of my despair.
"I'm…I'm a screw up, Dad," I choked out, the words tumbling out in
a rush. "I've messed everything up."
He held me tighter, his hand gently stroking my hair. "You're not a
screw up, Bella," he said firmly. "You're far from it. Now, tell me
what's going on."
I pulled back slightly, my eyes meeting his. The words were still hard
to say, but I knew I couldn't keep it from him any longer. "I'm…I'm
pregnant," I whispered, the words barely audible.
The silence that followed felt deafening. I braced myself for his
reaction, for the disappointment, the anger, the inevitable
questions. But instead, he simply pulled me back into his embrace,
holding me close.
"Oh, Bella," he murmured, his voice filled with a mixture of surprise
and tenderness. "How far along are you?"
"Sixteen weeks," I replied, my voice muffled against his shirt.
He held me for a long moment, saying nothing. The silence wasn't
accusatory or judgmental, but simply…there. It was a silence that
allowed me to breathe, to gather the shattered pieces of myself. He
didn't ask who the father was, didn't demand explanations. He
simply held me, offering the unconditional love and support that I
desperately needed.
The relief that washed over me was immense. I had been so terrified
of telling him, so afraid of his reaction. But he had simply accepted
it, had offered me comfort instead of condemnation. In that
moment, surrounded by his love, I felt a flicker of hope, a small
spark of resilience in the face of everything that had happened.
"Everything's going to be alright, Bells," he murmured, his voice
rough with emotion. "We'll figure this out together."
I nodded, tears still streaming down my face, but a small smile
tugging at the corners of my mouth. For the first time in weeks, I felt
a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't completely alone in
this.
