"Zib!" Dib exclaimed, his voice echoing with astonishment.
"HOLY MOLY!" Peyoopi shouted, her eyes wide in shock.
"He's hideous!" Sara declared, shuddering at the grotesque sight before her.
"What unholy abomination is THIS!?" Chunk cried out, his pitch reaching an almost comical high.
"It's a hybrid of the two least liked people I know on this green earth!" Brian blurted, a mixture of disbelief and horror in his voice.
"Hear, hear! Do I look JUST good enough for picture day!?" Zib sneered at everyone, his arms spread wide in a mock display of confidence.
"Uhm, who's this, and why does he look like the unholy fusion of you and Zim?" Dipper asked, disturbed by the nightmarish figure standing before them.
Dib took a deep breath, trying to explain. "Zib is… an alternate version of me who destroyed his own universe—albeit unintentionally. He went insane and then attempted to create a multiversal mess, the kind that Mainstream Media likes to overdo, but even more deranged!"
"Went insane? Were you even sane to begin with?" Jessica snarked, a smirk on her face. But the moment her words escaped, she was met with glares from Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel, the former shaking her fist threateningly making her shut up.
"That still doesn't explain why he looks like you and Zim got fused together," Gaz said, her face blanched. The sight of this obnoxious hybrid—combining the two most irritating beings she had ever known—made her skin crawl. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought she was trapped in a hideous nightmare.
"Zim's Pak got attached to him and made him… like that," Dib explained, wincing at the memory. He recalled the time Zim's Pak had latched onto him when he tried to steal it, nearly reprogramming him before Zim managed to reclaim his device. It had been a harrowing experience, feeling his own mind and body chemistry forcefully violated by alien technology clinging to him like a leech. He couldn't even imagine what Zib had endured with his version of Zim's Pak attached for so long.
"Great, another interdimensional nutcase, as if Bill wasn't enough!" Wendy groaned, rubbing her nose in frustration.
"Eh? Who's Bill?" Zib pondered, his head tilting in confusion. He glanced back with an unnatural movement, reminiscent of a Daddy Longlegs spider, his robotic extra limbs moving independently. Dipper morbidly wondered how Zib could walk with legs sprouting from the back of his head without injuring his neck. The hybrid moved closer, forcing the Pines and honorary Pines to the edge of their comfort zone, revealing his deformed form more clearly—no nose, no ears—making him all the more uncanny. Gretchen, trembling in fear, hid behind Dib, peering at the hybridized creature that looked like a fun-mirror version of her boyfriend.
Zib then grinned, exposing teeth that looked like a disturbing amalgamation of Irken and human features. "Nice to meet you again, friend, after you left me in the void!"
"I didn't know! I would have come back for you if I'd known you were still alive!" Dib replied, his voice rising in protest.
"Look what we have here! My sorry excuse for Skoolmates!" Zib loomed over them, his spider legs extending as he surveyed the group with a malicious grin, making them even more uneasy. "Even before Zim showed up, you all belittled me for my interests! Even after I FINALLY managed to reveal Zim to the world, none of you cared to admit you were wrong." He paused, locking eyes with Chunk, who squirmed under the intensity of his glare.
Zita, summoning her courage, interjected, "Hey! I don't know how it is in your universe, but you weren't a saint either! Do you honestly think it was only your interests that made you a pariah? You made that poor kid's life miserable just because he might have been related to Bigfoot!"
"HE WAS BIGFOOT!" Zib snarled, flinging a spider leg that barely missed Zita's head. She cried out and dropped to the ground, the force of the attack cracking the floor beneath her.
The Pines and honorary Pines decided to step in, with Mabel being the first to speak up. "Hey! Stop being a poophead meanie greenie! Even though, yeah, I agree your Skoolmates suck lemons as hard as a vacuum cleaner! (Except for Keefy.)" Some of the Skoolmates looked abashed at her colorful description, while Dipper raised an eyebrow at Mabel's nickname for Keef.
"Would it EVEN matter if that kid was related to Bigfoot? It's not like he was some insidious alien invader plotting our demise!" Dipper added, his voice firm. Meanwhile, Dib looked down in shame, recalling that it wasn't his proudest moment. It had taken Dipper catching him nearly vivisecting a gnome and calling him out for him to realize how wrong it was to judge others just for being different. He didn't want to be any better than those who had sneered at him, labeling him the 'Weirdo Crazy Kid.' Gretchen held his hand, offering silent comfort.
The hybrid moved closer, sporting a mirthless smirk. "And it looks like you've made friends, my pale copy of myself! Though I do not recognize them…." He narrowed his eyes at the Pines and the Fallers, noticing curiously that they didn't seem as terrified as the non-Fallers. "They seem tamer in their reactions, as well."
"Sorry, dude, we've already dealt with an interdimensional demon; compared to him, you're tame," Wendy informed him dryly.
"I've seen worse than that," Pacifica added with crossed arms, her expression defiant.
"You're no Bill Cipher!" Gideon jeered, crossing his arms.
"Again! Who the frak is that!?" the hybrid hissed in frustration, glancing around as if expecting answers.
Dipper stepped forward, his glare cold and reminiscent of Stanford. "Another extradimensional jerk who destroyed his own dimension because of his obsession with finding validation, then wallowed in self-pity and tried to make other dimensions miserable to feel better about himself." His sheer courage in calling out Zib earned him an increase in respect from the Fallers, while the non-Fallers, with the exception of the Membranes, looked at him as if he had a death wish.
Zib scowled and stepped forward, but Wendy and Mabel interposed themselves between him and Dipper, both showing no fear, which both fascinated and annoyed Zib.
"Enough! What's the point of this anyway?" Gaz finally spoke, her scowl deepening.
Zib grinned savagely at her. "Why, my dear no-good, gluttonous sister! You know, of all the things I missed from my universe… you are the least I miss." His face darkened as he spat the words with vitriol, inching closer to Gaz. Though she didn't show it outwardly, her fists clenched, and Zib's hateful words filled her with an uncomfortable sensation she was not used to.
"Back off, Zib! It's me you want! Leave my sister and the others out of this!" Dib said defensively, stepping forward.
Zib noticed how close Gretchen was to Dib and let out a mocking laugh as he hovered above them. "Well, isn't THAT cute! You've got a girlfriend less ugly than me! Shame I'm going to cut your prom night short!" He clapped his hands, and as if summoned by his command, the wall near the karaoke area, recently damaged, gave way. A Frankenstein-looking robot, disturbingly cheerful, lumbered forward, carrying two tables. On the tables were two individuals—Gretchen's eyes widened in horror as she recognized the unconscious Gir in his green dog form and Zim in his human disguise, letting out a moan as his consciousness began to return.
Tir then chirped, "Hiii! My name is Tir! I think the T stands for—"
"Nobody cares, Tir!" Zib snapped, cutting him off.
"Uuuugh… Zim just had a weird dream about a big-nosed, idiotic human with a skeleton guy, a blonde Gaz, and then there were red, disgusting pervert imps with a furry…" Zim groaned as he opened his eyes. "Eh? YOU! The disgusting hybrid! How dare you, with your continuous existence, sully the Irk—" He choked on his words when he realized he wasn't alone. "I—I mean, my fellow humans with your deformity and impurity! No, wait… I sound like those eugenic-obsessed mustaches! Never mind what Zim said, everyone." He blanched, even he had standards.
Dib rolled his eyes at Zim's attempt.
Zib walked toward him, a sinister grin on his face. "That brings me… Let me do my alternate self a favor!" He extended his hands toward Zim and nodded at Tir to do the same with Gir.
"Nono WAIT! My eyes! My hair! I'm being tortured! Call the human arbiters—"
"Oh, stop squirming, you bug!" Zib retorted, moving away while holding a wig and eye lenses in one hand, with Tir holding a zipped-up suit in the other. "VOILA!" the hybrid announced, gesturing dramatically before both of them dropped the disguises.
The Fallers, while some were surprised, were not as surprised as the non-Fallers, except for the Membranes, gasped collectively as they saw a robot and an insectoid creature with magenta eyes and antennas. Zim froze like a deer in headlights. Ever since the whole Summerween and museum fiasco, the realization that supernatural beings existed had left a stinking pit in the collective stomachs of the Skoolmates. They had refused to entertain the possibility of Dib's accusations against Zim and remained in denial. Now? Their walls of denial had been shattered completely and thoroughly.
"Holy pigs, Zim really IS an alien!" Spoo said, his eyes widening in shock.
Poonchy spat her drink from the cup.
Carl, Brian, and Tae stood slack-jawed, completely stunned.
"Blech! Now I'm seriously questioning if Zib is the ugliest!" Jessica blanched, and Pacifica nodded in agreement, both squinting at Zim.
That brought Zim out of his stupor. He snapped at the two blonde girls, "HEY! HOW DARE YOU, YOU PEACHED PIGS!? ZIM IS BEAUTIFUL!"
"Is… IS THAT the same robot that rides a unicorn!?" Zita exclaimed, unable to hide her disbelief.
"SEE!? I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! I PROVED THAT ALIENS EXIST!" Dib shouted, pointing at Zim.
"No, you didn't; Zib did the proving," Letter M pointed out dryly.
"WOULD YOU KILL YOURSELF YOU @£! TO @%@ ME THIS YOU %@!!?" Dib shouted, tearing at his own hair. The pent-up resentment and frustration boiled over like an overcooked pot, hurling out strong words that would impress even Stanley. Everyone was taken aback by his colorful outburst. Afterwards, Dib was still fuming, resembling an angry animal, while Gretchen held and caressed him to offer comfort.
"Wow, you guys really suck. And I thought my school days were harsh," Wendy remarked disdainfully at the Skoolmates.
Gaz snorted in agreement with Wendy. "You don't know half of it sis," she added, glaring at them. The other Fallers nodded in agreement, sharing a unified detest at them.
Some Skoolmates looked ashamed, with Zita staring down in embarrassment, while a few of the boys looked away, whistling nonchalantly. The exception was Jessica, who simply scoffed. The Skoolmates noticed that the Fallers didn't seem bothered as much, staring at them in disbelief.
"We've seen weirder than an alien," Thompson shrugged.
"Still beats the chaos god and ageless ghosts," Tambry grunted.
Before the Skoolmates could make any more comments or process everything happening, Zib jumped back onto the stage with his spider legs, striking a showman-like pose.
"Now to the show! I could not resist personally having a payback at my dear and oh-so-kind Skoolmates, so I have transported this whole house into interdimensional space, and as we speak, we're in a dimension… with a moose!" Zib announced maliciously.
"A moose?" Mabel repeated, sharing the befuddlement of everyone except Dib, who looked horrified. Gaz raised an eyebrow at the absurdity of it all.
"And… it can talk," Zib added sinisterly.
Dib's eyes widened in terror. "NOOOOOOO NOT AGAIN!" he shrieked, causing everyone else to stare at him with expressions that screamed, 'What the hell!?' Gretchen glanced at Gaz, puzzled, and Gaz returned a blank stare that seemed to say, 'Don't ask.'
"And the moose… I made it become half-Miss Bitters from a nightmarish dimension where she is Baba Yaga and the Lovecraftian child of an Old One who eats children!"
At that revelation, panic erupted among the group. The Fallers had only met Miss Bitters once, and that had been enough for a lifetime. The non-Fallers were even more familiar with her terrifying reputation.
"Oh wow, I'm terrified now," Gaz deadpanned, her tone dripping with sarcasm while everyone else freaked out around her.
Suddenly, Tir brandished guns and missiles aimed at the crowd.
"And don't even try anything! Or you'll die quicker! So, enjoy the show while I head to my safe room!" Zib chirped malevolently, preparing to walk away until he was called out.
"Zib! You don't have to do this!" Dib pleaded, desperation clear in his voice.
"And exactly why?" Zib's face darkened, the mirth fading.
"Because not everyone here has wronged you! Heck, half the people here didn't even know a Dib until I showed up!" Dib argued passionately.
"Uh-huh. Here's the shocking revelation: I don't care," Zib replied flatly.
Dipper then interjected, "Because if you're him, then you're a good person! You shouldn't be killing stupid people!"
"Most of what is bad in the world is BECAUSE OF STUPID PEOPLE!" Zib roared, his rage flaring up, filling the air with palpable tension.
Just then, Robbie, still tied to a chair, came running through a door. "Guys! You won't believe what I've been—WOAH!" While running, he was startled by Zib, and his feet slipped on the wet floor, left by someone who had dropped prune juice. He spun uncontrollably and crashed into one of Zib's legs, causing the chair to break and Zib to momentarily lose his balance.
"WHAT—HE—AAAAGH!" Zib yelped. Seizing the opportunity, Wendy, Gaz, Mabel, Gretchen, and Dipper jumped on Zib's other legs, pushing him toward the ground.
"GOT YA!" Dib shouted as he and Gaz pinned Zib down, with the others piling on top of him.
"TIR! SHOOT!" Zib commanded, desperation creeping into his voice.
Tir, seeing the chaos and worried about accidentally hurting his master, scratched his head in confusion. "Masta! Too much human pile!"
"RISK IT!" Zib yelled back.
"NO YOU DON'T!" Dipper responded, raising his magnet gun and firing at Tir. The blast sent Tir crashing into Gir, deactivating him by disrupting the electricity. However, when Tir collided with Gir, the electricity coursed through him, creating an unexpected consequence.
Gir's cyan eyes suddenly flickered to life. "I LIIIIVE!" he chirped cheerfully.
"And you said I was paranoid for always bringing my magnet gun, even to parties!" Dipper exclaimed, looking a mix of proud and sheepish.
Robbie stared blankly at Dipper, while others shot him bewildered looks.
Dipper quickly realized how that sounded. "...It sounded better in my head."
With a surge of anger, Zib growled, pushing everyone off him with enhanced strength thanks to the Pak attached to his massive head. He activated a device on his wrist, touching a blue screen, which triggered the emergence of several robots with thrusters. They came down between him and the others.
"Keep them here! If they resist, hurt them BAD!" Zib hissed, giving his commands.
"YES SIR!" the robots replied in unison, their red eyes glowing ominously. They looked like an abominable fusion of Irken tech and Membrane tech—similar to the Membrane robots from the whole Florpus Hole event, but magenta instead of blue. Instead of normal legs, they sported four robotic spider legs akin to those from Paks, with thrusters positioned at the center of their lower bodies.
"GIR! DESTROY THE ENEMY ROBOTS!" Zim screeched, desperate to regain control.
"YES SIR!" Gir replied, his eyes turning red, broke through his cuffs and bolted toward the hybrid robots, leading to a full-blown brawl.
The crowd erupted into chaos, with people hiding or running amidst the shouts and cries echoing everywhere. Dipper fired his magnet gun at the enemy robots, while Wendy hurled an axe at an approaching bot, striking it right in the head. She then jumped onto the robot, yanked the axe free, and leaped onto another bot before it could charge its fusion weapon.
Mabel shot her grappling hook, snagging a bot's chest and pulling it close as the rope retracted, causing it to collide with other robots. Dib and Gretchen ducked just in time as one of the incoming robots was thrown down by Gir.
"NOT MY HOUSE! STOP TRASHING MY HOUSE!" Robbie cried out in dismay from behind a backward table. He groaned even louder when Gir grabbed a vase, only to hit himself in the head with it before attacking again.
"EARTHWORMS! RELEASE ME FROM THIS FOUL CONTRAPTION!" Zim demanded of the humans around him. One human approached to help, but it wasn't the one he wanted.
"I FREE YOU BESITE!" Keef exclaimed cheerfully, despite the chaos.
"AN EARTHWORM THAT IS NOT KEEF! FREE ME!" Zim changed his demand, but it was to no avail.
In the midst of the chaos, Dib noticed Zib was getting away. "HE'S GETTING AWAY!" he shouted, pointing and beginning to follow. He quickly turned back to kiss Gretchen on the cheek, making her blush, before continuing his pursuit.
"Wait!" Dipper called out, following suit.
"Don't—" Gaz began, but it was too late; they were already running. "These idiots," she growled.
"I'll follow them! Can you hold?" Wendy asked.
"Born ready, Wen-wen!" Mabel replied enthusiastically.
"I can handle these trashcans all day," the purple Membrane said, ripping the head off a robot with surprising strength. Wendy nodded and dashed after the boys.
Zim noticed and urged Keef, "TRY HARDER, YOU REDWORM!"
"Can do!" Keef chirped, attempting to open the cuffs with his bare hands, though it was a futile effort.
Zim hissed under his breath, "Damn hybrid abomination deactivated my Pak's utility! To think Zim is now helpless once more—WAIT! Zim made contingency for that after the Grease Ape enslaved me!" He suddenly remembered his contingency plan as a concentrated beam of energy from an extended robotic arm cut through the cuffs. Wasting no time, Zim dashed forward. "Sometimes, my genius frightens me," he said, impressed by his own cleverness as he followed the others.
Meanwhile, Keef called out, "Call me later, Bestie!"
The robots surrounded Gir, their metallic bodies gleaming ominously under the dim lights. Gir narrowed his red eyes at them, ready for an epic showdown, when suddenly—
BAM!
A disco ball popped out of his head with a loud clang, showering the area with sparkling lights. A funky beat blasted from nowhere, and before anyone could react, Gir, with an uncannily serious expression, began to dance like the world's greatest hip-hop star.
From the music box perched on his shoulder, a mechanical voice crooned,
Oh baby baby~
Gir twisted and twirled.
How was I suppose~
he exclaimed, dodging a robotic fist as if it were merely part of the choreography.
To know~
Landing a kick that sent one robot careening into another.
In a bizarre turn of events, Zib's robots began to join in. They moved in sync with Gir, their stiff joints somehow finding rhythm, circling around him like a series of awkward backup dancers.
With the music blaring, the voice sang,
Give me baby one more time!~
Gir, now fully committed to the dance-off, threw his arms into the air and executed a comically exaggerated moonwalk that made several robots crash into one another in fits of clashing metal.
With each beat, Gir nonchalantly delivered playful kicks and spinning moves, knocking down robots one by one, their bizarre dance routine quickly descending into chaos. The sight of Gir, with his small stature and absurdly serious face, amidst a flurry of clumsy robots, was purely ridiculous.
Finally, after a flurry of spins and some very questionable dance moves, Gir struck an exaggerated pose, arms wide open as the last robot toppled over.
Gir grinning widely as the disco ball glitter above, the defeated robots sprawled around him in utter confusion.
Wendy's Gang and the Skoolmates just started questioning their lives' choices and how it reached to this moment.
"...what was that?" Was all Thompson could utter.
"He can dance." Candy's eyes sparkled in awe.
