I don't own ONE PIECE. Or any other stuff in the story.


(As the whale cried its goodbye to the pyrates; The jolly crew waved goodbye and sang the tune. Heh that rhymed)


On the way to Whiskey Peak, Cactus Island.

As Luffy and Usopp were having a snowball fight, Sanji was simping over Nami, and the new "guests" were being bossed by Nami into shoveling snow.

Hey everyone, look, dolphins! Luffy, we have more important things to worry about! Like wha-... oh... ICEBERG! (yelled their... low intellect captain)

"AHHHHH We scraped the ship!" (panicked the whole, admittedly, mostly, idiotic crew)(After a few horrifying minutes of sheer terror, the crew made it to safety)

(after the captian let out an exhausted sigh, the strawhat pyrate's "lost moss" woke up)

Huh, hey, what are you guys doing? YOU ASS ZORO how HOW HOW DID YOU SLEEP THROUGH THAT!? Huh, through what? *SLAM*

The terrifying navigator then went on a tyrade until they all reached the next island.


At Whiskey Peak, Cactus Island.

(As the ship was nearing the port, a sudden splash hit the water, as the two "guests" jumped ship)

Well, that sure was... strange? Yeah I know what you mean Nami, but I have the feeling we'll see them again soon. Especially Vivi

WELCOME HEROS AND HEROINES OF THE SEA! (To the whole crews surprise the town was shouting and calling out to the pyrates, it's as if the town loved them and welcomed them home like it's sons and daughters) PYRATES! PYRATES! PYRATES!

(As the crew landed, a curly-haired man came up to them)

MA MA MA MAAAAAAAAA* Hello I am Igarapoi, the mayor of this fine village! we welcome you merry heroes of the sea, to our village Whiskey Peak! And to your deaths! Soooooo is there a good place to eat? ("Said the constantly hungry sun god") YES RIGHT THIS *MA MA MA MAAAAAA* WAY!

The crew entered the establishment and immediately began drinking, eating, and if you're Sanji "wooing" 10 ladies at once; Nami and her "situationship" captain were competitively out eating and drinking the whole damn island's population; As usual Usopp was bullshiting fifty people, while Zoro didn't do very much.


With Igarapoi / Igaram

OHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Huh, wh what is it Mr.8!? (Said the ye ye ahh looking bat guy) Look the, the, the cap, THE CAPTAIN HAS A TWO HUNDRED MILLON BERRY BOUNTY! *BOOM*

(It was at this moment the bounty hunters had realized that they had fucked up)

GUM GUM ELEPHANT RIFLE!

As the city shook, from Luffy's relentless attacks; Nami was black mailing Igaram, into paying them to escort Vivi back home.

(Igaram explanined that (in simple terms) they would have to take Vivi back home and talk to the king for that sorta money. Nami understood and took/blackmailed Zoro to go get her.)

Hey princess! Yelled the pissed lost moss. Huh, what do you want!? What do I want!? Not to be here right now, especially since Luffy's gone ape-shit; but right now, I HAVE to take you home! So don't go mistaking this for kindness! ...very well then, let's be off, shall we? Alrighty then, come on princess of whatever. *Humpf* I will have you know, that I am the princess of Alabasta kingdom! Ok...whatever. HOW RUDE CAN THIS BUSHIDO GUY BE!? Thought the very upset princess.

With luffy's dumbass

Oi you, Mr. five was it? Huh, yeah, yeah that's me. YOU KNOW WHAT! What? I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PYRATES! What, king... of the... I didn't even ask? Oh it's just what I tell everyone who's ass I kick. Oh, well that's quite the statemen- GUM GUM PISTOL! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(Luffy quickly sent the fool, and his partner flying)

after all was said and done

Princess Vivi I shall depart in another ship in order to avoid drawing suspicion.

Ok Igaram please be safe! Of course my princess, please don't tell your escorts about Crocodile for their own safety.

Hmm, Crocodile, You mean the warlord? (Luffy asked)

YOU MORON! (Yelled the crew as they now knew they would be hunted to; but as soon as Igaram boarded the vessel... The ship exploded; And so it was that through Vivi's tears the Strawhat's left Cactus Island )

Huh, is... is that... ROBIN! (thought the elated mugiwara)

(Robin was sitting atop the railing looking down upon the Strawhat crew)

(Luffy's strawhat was picked up and carried away by several disappearing limbs)

Hey what do you think you're doing Robin!? Hmm so you know my name... you've done your research well Strawhat.

Hey Luffy who who is she!? (Asked the now frightened navigator) She's... She is Nico Robin "the devil child" she has a bounty of seventy nine million berries, she is some what dangerous.

Some what? (The archaeologist's lips curled into an inquisitive smile far from the one Luffy was used to)

HUH!? (Luffy used his extreme new world level speed to disappear and then reappear with his hat which he quickly took from Robin's hand)

Shi shi shi, some what. Huh... well I think your crew is a little interesting, here take this. An eternal pose? Oh, so you know what it is then huh? Yeah *smash* no thanks.

Wow, you are either the bravest man or the stupidest man I've ever seen. Bravest. Replied the captain; "it's both" thought his crew.

Well I hope you're right, seeing all the bravado go to waste, would be a shame.

(The sexy cowgirl woman licked her lips in mock lust; this severly angered Nami)

HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! Oh, I'm sorry is he taken? YES YES HE IS! Oh well I'm sorry miss~? NAMI! NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY SHIP BITCH! Damn Nami don't be so ma- SHUT IT USOPP! Yes mam! NAMIIIII SWAAAAAAAN YOU'RE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU MAD! Sanji, I think you should sit this one out! (Cried the scared sniper)

(Robin, in utter confusion, left while the ship was in chaos)

After Nami stormed off in anger.

Uhhhhh, what was that? Oh Nami and Luffy have a thing, Vivi. Ohhhhhh, well good for you two. Hmm, oh, shi shi shi, thanks!

So, Luffy what's the plan? Hmmmmmm, well Zoro I guess we'll have to fight Crocodile, aaaaaaaand beat his ass! Huh, well, sounds good to me. Yep not much we can plan out right now, not that I would anyways.

(Vivi was perplexed by the calmness of the Strawhat crew, but found herself oddly amused by it)

So... Luffy right? Yeah what is it Vivi? Um if Nami's your girlfriend, shouldn't you be checking on her right now? Huh, oh, I guess so. Well see ya guys I'm gonna go see if she's ok.

(The whole crew on that day truly admired Monkey D. Luffy's bravery)

In the women'squarters, with Nami. sorta "half lemon" time

Uh, hey, Nami are you alright? *sniffle* No.

(Nami's face was red as a beat and full of more than enough tears to fill a river)

What happened? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED!? I mean I don't know what made you so mad?

(Nami let out a sigh for the ages before explaining her feelings)

Her it was her. Hmm, why? She, well, she flirted with you, and it pissed me off, duh dumbass! Is that that big of a deal? YES! Ok ok ok!

(Luffy's brow furrowed in frustration, trying to figure out Nami's feelings)

Please please Luffy never ever leave me for another girl; just thinking about it breaks my heart, got it... captain. Ok I guess I wasn't planning on leaving you anyways but ok.

(Nami gripped Luffy's chest tightly and sobbed into it)

Thank you Luffy, thank you. So, Na- *smooch*

(As Nami's lips locked with Luffy's, Luffy was smiling, happy he had cured his girlfriend's sorrow)

Luffy~ What Nami? Fuck me.


With the Strawhats.

Uhhhhhh, Usopp, are, ARE THEY!? (Screamed the princess in horror)

(everyone gathered around the women's quarters hatch, listening to Nami happily enjoying the full extent of Luffy's love for her)

(Sanji was basically nutting his pants, Vivi knew she was in the wrong to listen but couldn't stop her curiosity, Zoro wasn't listening and was instead silently judging the rest for their horny teenage behavior, Usopp was just happy that Luffy was getting "some" silently cheering him on)

(Luffy pulled out and "came" all over Nami's back, Nami was happy having a taste of him with her finger, after which she cleaned them both up and they went off their own ways)

hey guys what's up?

(Luffy not understanding just as to the reason why everyone was there)

GOOD JOB BUDDY! Yelled the cowardly sniper. IT'S NOT FAIR! Cried the all ways rock hard cook. Horny bastards. Remarked the lost moss. Vivi quickly ran away in embarrassment:

Oh you guys heard that? Hell yeah Luffy you were awesome! Shi shi shi, thanks usopp.

(Luffy decided to sit on his "special seat" aka Merry's figure head)


At Little Garden.

(As the Strawhats arrived on the island Luffy was ecstatic)

DORRY BROGY I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

(SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z UHH OR I MEAN UHHHHHH YEAH YOU KNOW THE TITLE OF THE SERIES DAMMIT)