(One day at the Mystery Shacks Dipper try to figure it out who the author is.)

Dipper: Okay if Old Man McGucket is not author of the journal but who?

Soos: How come Dipper's so smart about stuff?"
Mabel: "Because he's not human."
Soos: [gasping] "DIPPER'S NOT HUMAN? No way."
Mabel: [Mabel getting an idea] "I…thought you knew. Have you ever known anyone that smart?"
[Soos thinks.]
Mabel: [impatient] "Well?"
Soos: "If Dipper's not human, what is he?"
Mabel: [concocting a story] "You didn't hear this from me, but…deep in the earth's core, in a top-secret lab, a mad scientist conducted cross-breeding experiments!"
Soos: "Do tell!"
Mabel: "By combining a terrifying lizard with a sweet boy, thus creating…the Lizardman!" [ Dipper is examining a poster board on his wall.] "See that hat? He hides his gills under it."
Soos: [running off] "Must touch gills!"
[Mabel collapses to the ground, laughing.]

[Dipper put a picture on the wall. As he does so, Soos comes over and tries to lift his hat.]
Dipper: "Soos do you mind I try to figure it out who wrote the journal. [Soos is miffed, but Mabel just giggles.]

[Soos proceeds to sniff Dipper hat and arm before making a declaration.]

Dipper: Soos what is wrong with you.

Soos:
"He is not of this earth, Mabel!"
Dipper: "What? Is it my breath?" Oh man I forgot to brush my teeth this morning [He goes in to brush his teeth.]
Soos: "I saw his tail!"
Mabel: [chuckling before she recovers herself] "His tail is dangerous. But watch out for the death rays he shoots from his eyes!" [She pretends to be stricken.] "Protect yourself. With this!" [She gives Soos a mirror.] "But be cautious! Who knows what evil he's plotting as we speak?"

[Dipper is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Mabel kicks the door open.]
Dipper: "What?"
Soos: "Does he bite?"
[The lights flicker on and off. Mabel is controlling the light switch to unnerve Soos.]
Mabel: "He's attacking, Soos!"
[Dipper is heading towards them, mouth full of foam.]
Dipper: "What are you guys doing?"
Mabel: "Soos, the mirror! Use the mirror!"
[Soos sticks the mirror into Dipper's mouth.]
Soos: "Run away, run away!" [He and Mabel exit the bathroom.] "We are doomed, Mabel!" [Soos is alone now.] "Mabel?"
Mabel: [offscreen] "SOOS, HELP! HE'S GOT ME!"
[Soos rushes around the corner to find Mabel's clothes in a heap on the floor.]
Soos: "No. Not Mabel. TAKE ME, LIZARDMAN!"
Dipper: [coming up behind Soos] "Why are Mabel's clothes lying on the floor? Is she eating Smile Dip and running around in her underwear again?"
Soos: "Surrender, Lizard-thing!" [He grabs Dipper.] "Give me the antidote!"
Dipper: "What antidote? Have you lost your–" [Soos drops him.]
Soos: "Am I the only human left? I am alone. I AM HUNGRY!" [He runs away.]
Dipper: [chasing him] "Soos, wait! I can make you a sandwich!"
[After her friends leave, Mabel peeks out from around another corner. She has folded her body up to fit in a bucket and crawls around with her fingers.]
Mabel: [mocking] "Ooh, I'm a bug! Help me, Soos!" [She laughs.] "What a sap!"

Soos: [leaving the house screaming] "Run away!"
Dipper: "Soos, wait! [He runs into Soos, who has stopped.]
Wendy: "Hi, Guys my Family is having a barbecue this afternoon. Would you like to come?"
Dipper: "Of course."
Wendy: "How about you, Soos? Lots of food."
Dipper: "Soos hello earth to Soos."

Soos: "Okay, I give up! It's no fun being the last human! So can I be a bumblebee?"
[Wendy, confused, looks at Dipper.]

Wendy: What's is he talking about?

Dipper: I don't know must be the stress from the blink eye from last week.

Wendy: Have you seen Mabel I just want to invite her for my family bbq.

Dipper: I don't know maybe she play with Waddles we catch up with her later.

[Mabel is wiggling down the hall.]
Mabel: "Mabel, you're the girl with the braces. You're the big–" [She has walked onto the stairs.] "Uh–"
[Mabel goes tumbling down the stairs.]
Soos: [outside] "So if I join you at the party, can I be a tarantula? Or maybe a salamander?"
Mabel: "Party? Wait!" [She tries to get out of the bucket.] "Hey! I'm stuck! Soos! Don't forget Cockroach Mabel!"

[A mosquito flies over Manly Dan and settles on his nose. Manly Dan, seeing this, flicks the bug onto a hot dog sizzling on a grill. He then spears the sausage.]
Wendy: [offscreen] "Hey, guys."
Manly Dan: "Who's up for Hot dog?"

Lee : [Lee, Nate, Thompson and Tambry at a picnic table] "Man that was good Hot dogs!"
Thompson: [about to bite into a mustard-covered dog] "I love franks!" [He goes to eat, and the hot dog fall to the ground.] "Aw man."

Tambry: Status update the hot dog fell out of Thompson Bun.

Dipper: Hey guys Have you seen Soos?" [Soos's finger suddenly starts poking at Dipper's head.]

Soos: "Buzz, buzz, buzz."
Dipper: "Soos cut it out."
Soos: "I picked a mosquito, as I am ready to be transformed and join your colony."
Nate: "What is he talking about."
Soos: [flapping his "wings"] "Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz." [He stops, hearing something.]

Mabel: [hiding around the side of the house] "Soos! Come here, quick!"
Soos: "Mabel! You look good for a cockroach."
Mabel: "Knock it off, Soos! And get this bucket off!"
Soos: [Soos picking Mabel up] "Let me take you to your people!"
Mabel: "No wait!"

Wendy: [approaching with a platter of drinks] "Hey Soos, would you like a–" [mistakes Mabel for an actual cockroach] "-BUG!"
Soos: [thinking the bug is on him] "Where? Get it off!"

Wendy: "Crush it!" [She swings the tray at Mabel, and Mabel lands on the grill in front of Manly Dan.]
Manly Dan: "No bug is ruined our bbq!"
[Manly Dan tries to bean it with his spatula, but he instead hits the barbecue and sends Mabel flying towards the house. Mabel, seeing that things will get worse if she sticks around, goes through a basement window in order to hide.]

Thompson: "What does it want?"
Lee: "It was huge!"

(Tamby text on her phone.)

Tamby: Big bug craw in Wendy basement.
Wendy: [as hysteria sets in] "Dad do something!"

Manly Dan: " Don't worry Wendy we get rid of that bug [He punch his fist.]
Soos: "But it's one of you!"
Manly Dan: "I don't know what he talking about but I don't want no bug crawling in my basement.

[Manly Dan opens the door to a completely dark cellar.]
Manly Dan: "Stay close, as it may try to crawl up your pant leg."
Soos: "Let the transformation begin!"
[The Guys turn to stare at Soos, and Dipper grins nervously to apologize for his friend.]
Manly Dan: "Follow me!"

Manly Dan: "Stay together, for it may try to ambush you and suck out your marrow!"
Dipper: "Um, shouldn't we just find the light switch?" [Dipper Soos, Wendy and her brothers are being guided by her brother flashlight.]
[Cockroach Mabel skitters across the floor, seeking refuge. Manly Dan sniffs the air.]
Manly Dan: "Do you hear it? Kevin, shine your flashlight. There."
[Kevin complies, and slowly plays the light around the room. He stops between the heater and a desk. Mabel jumps out into the light and screams. She skitters away.]
Wendy: "It's so gross!"
Kevin: "There it goes!"

Manly Dan: "In honor of my ancestors!" [He dives behind the desk.]
[Manly Dan proceeds to beat up the cockroach while the kids watch and listen.]

Marcus, Kevin, & Gus (Chanting:) Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

Tyler: Get 'em! Get 'em!

Soos: "Whoa, Manly Dan's pretty good for a picnic ant." [Dipper finds the light switch and turns it on.]

Dipper: "Much better."
[Manly Dan stops the beating and lifts Mabel.]
Manly Dan: "This is no bug."
Wendy: "Is that… Mabel?"

Soos: "Dipper transformed Mabel into a cockroach." [Wendy brothers turn to look at Dipper.]
Dipper: "I honestly haven't a clue!"
Kevin: "You got that right!"

Manly Dan: Who up for some hot dog

Marcus, Kevin, & Gus: Me Me I want one

[The Corduroy Brothers leave.]

Dipper: "Could you please help me out here?"
Mabel: "Forget about it! just get me out of this bucket!"

Manly Dan: You coming Wendy.

Wendy: I catch up with you dad I just help my friend got out of this bucket

Dipper: "Could someone please tell me what's going on?" [Wendy help Dipper and Soos get Mabel out of the bucket.] "Well?" (Later back at the Shack after Mabel got out of the bucket.

Dipper: Alright Mabel can you explain to me what was going on.

Mabel: Well I was playing a trick on Soos that you are a lizard man that turning the people of Gravity Falls into animal-human hybrids.

Dipper: What Mabel this is a stupid thing you ever did and you struck yourself in a bucket.

Wendy: Mabel your almost ruined our family bbq because your playing a trick on Soos and my dad almost beat you up with his manly hand.

Soos: So Dipper not a lizard man it was all a trick.

Mabel: Yes I'm sorry I playing a trick on you Soos I just wanted to prank Dipper.
Soos: That okay hambone at lease Dipper is not a lizard man. (Mabel Hug Soos.)

Mabel: And Wendy I'm sorry I almost ruined your family bbq.

Wendy: It's alright Mabel besides Thompson got scared that you are a bug and he wet himself.

Mabel: Ha HA oh man I really scare Thompson did I.

Wendy: Yes it is Tambry record on her phone that Thompson standing in the table screaming like a little girl

(Wendy showed Dipper, Mabel and Soos the video they laugh at Thompson video.)