Happy 2025! This is my first fanfic of year!

This is a fanfic of The Loud House based on an episode of El Chavo Del Ocho, in which everyone is terrified, thinking that Don Ramón wants to kill everyone with bullets, even though he didn't even intend to scare anyone!

Obviously, Lincoln unwittingly terrorizing the sisters requires a good deal of poor communication between him and them, or as I like to say, "lack of dialogue." This is one of my biggest criticisms against Loud House, as well as any work of fiction, so I apologize in advance.


WARNING: I don't accept paying art commissions involving my fanfics, much less from unknown people. I don't have laPyaP and I don't agree with being fooled by scammers who pretend to be artists just to steal money. I only accept making art with people I know and trust.


"That's it! I'M TIRED!" Lincoln decrees, already with a hand on the door handle and his backpack on the back.

His 10 sisters watch him, impassively, without trying to dissuade him.

"I'm tired of your idiot fights, your petty feuds, your irreconcilable differences... You're never able to solve your problems with peace and harmony! And when I try to intervene, you always accuse me of being the one who ruins everything!"
"We can't do anything against reality, geek unit," Lisa states dryly, arms crossed.
"We don't need your help, twerp," Lori assures. "We're independent."
"No one better than us girls to solve girls' problems," Lola smiles cynically, stroking her own neck.

"Well, fight all you want," Lincoln announces. "I'm going to Clyde's and I don't have to put up with your stupid conflicts anymore. And don't ask me when I'm back. I don't even know if I'll ever be back."
"Come on, brother. Don't give me empty promises," Luan scoffs. "That's for those who celebrate New Year. HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
"You can go, bro," Luna encourages him, always the most condescending sister with Lincoln. "You're just hot-headed. Go get some fresh air. Tomorrow morning, you'll be calmer and we'll welcome you with open arms."

Lincoln walks out the door and gives one last warning:
"If I come back, maybe it will be to declare war on all of you!"

BLAM!

The mood drops in the house.

"He didn't mean it this time," Lana scratches her hand. "Did he?"
"Relax, sister," Lola rubs her twin's shoulder. "Lincoln, a weakling, against an army of girls? Ha ha ha ha..."
"Hey, don't talk like that," Lucy grumbles. "Our brother is much stronger than you think."
"Thanks to my intensive training," Lynn Jr. adds. "But 'Stinkoln' is still a long way from reaching a level like mine."

"Inky Toy..." Baby Lily laments, seeing the wreckage scattered across the floor.
"No, Lily," Luna picks her up. "It's not a toy. It's a model airplane, which we girls unintentionally broke."

"It's Lori's fault," Leni points out. "Who told her to start the fight?"
"I didn't start anything," Lori defends herself. "You're the one who called me a 'sanctimonious blonde,' you hypocrite!"
"Hypocrite, me?! I can be blonde, but not sanctimonious! No one told you to be so strict with us!"
"Nobody told you to provoke me!"
"Nobody told you not to like the truth!"
"And here we go again..." Luna mutters.


"And all my effort of over a week was wasted in a few seconds!" Lincoln roars, lying on the couch. "All thanks to my sisters' 'Big Ball of Violence'!"
"And why were your sisters fighting?" Asks "psychologist" Clyde, sitting in the armchair.
"I don't know," Lincoln rubs his forehead. "I think Leni took Lori's earrings without asking and Lori got mad because you know how overprotective Lori is with her stuff."
"What do Lori's earrings look like?" Clyde wants to know.

Lincoln frowns!

"Do you prefer sit there and daydream about Lori?"
"Prohibited?"
"I thought you might help me feel a little better!" Lincoln straightens his back.
"Help me help you, guy!" Clyde smiles.
Lincoln snorts.
"Okay, forget. Let's move on," Clyde writes again on the notepad. "How did the argument end in violence?"

Lincoln goes back to couch:
"My other sisters, who were nearby, tried to intervene, some defending Lori, others defending Leni. Then they started arguing with each other, provoking each other, insulting each other, and in the end, they were all united in the fight. They rolled here, rolled there, and bumped into the little table where my beautiful model airplane was resting. It fell to the floor and was jokingly trampled on by them, who only stopped fighting when I screamed. But by then it was too late."

"Sorry about your model airplane, bro," Clyde clasps his hands together as he places the pad on his lap. "And did your sisters apologize?"
"They apologized, of course, but for me it's not enough. After all, it's not the first time they've destroyed my things or harmed me in other ways with their acts of violence. I feel like I need to take a strong action against them. Something that will make them wake up, so that things like this don't happen again."

"And what action would that be?"
"I don't know. But I should find out by tomorrow."

RING!

"Ronnie!" Lincoln perks up as he checks his phone.
"I think we're done here," Clyde concludes, as Lincoln jumps off the couch to talk to his girl friend.


Sunday morning.

1 day after the "family storm", Lincoln is still at his friend's house.
After the bath, he wears a black shirt with a skull print and equally black jeans.

DING-DONG!

"I'll get it," Lincoln gets up from the couch.
"Thanks, brother," Clyde thanks, as he continues reading the Muscle Fish comic.

Lincoln opens the door and is faced with a Hispanic mailman, with a mustache and huge eyebrows, carrying a long white package.

"Order for Mr. Lincoln Loud."
"But sir, there must be a mistake," Lincoln said. "I don't even live here."
"The sender informed me that your address is now here."
"But what sender?"
"Mr. X."
"Mr. X?"
"Yes," The mailman hands over a pen and notepad. "And now sign here, please."
"Yes sir."

After signing his name, Lincoln says goodbye to the mailman, who leaves in his van.

"Hmm... What a mysterious package..." He scratches his head.
"Hey, Lincoln, what are you still doing out there?" Clyde comes out of the house and comes across the box in the backyard. "Hmm... What is this?"
"It's a package that Mr. X sent on my name."
"Mr. X? Who is him?"
"Someone who seems to be monitoring my every move. How did he know I would be here in your house?"
"Hmm..." Clyde pulls out the package and checks it carefully. "No company name... You know what I think?"
"What?"

Clyde's eyes shine:
"Lincoln, some Secret Service or even NASA may be recruiting you to be a superhero or secret agent."
"That's right!" Lincoln's eyes light up. "Like David Steele: the CIA went looking for him. What's in there? X-ray goggles? Super-powerful radar? Alien watch?"
"There's only one way to find out," Clyde prepares to open it.
"No, Clyde!" Lincoln stops him and takes the box. "It's my package, so I'm the one who should open it. If it's dangerous, at least you'll come out of it unharmed."
"Thanks, brother," Clyde says, already walking backwards.

After untying the box, Lincoln comes across a dark gray shotgun.
"Oof... What a huge beast," Lincoln holds the long gun and aims it to the sides.
"I wonder if it's loaded?" Clyde speculates.
Lincoln points to Clyde.

BANG!
BLOSH!

"AAAHHH!" Clyde squeals in horror, his sweater covered in blood. " You shot me!"
"It wasn't my fault!" Lincoln despairs. "The gun went off on its own!"
"Wait. This here..." Clyde puts some of the blood on his tongue. "It's sugar blood. Like the homemade blood your sister Lucy makes."

"URRGGHH!" Lincoln shakes the gun.
"What's up, Lincoln?" Clyde finds strange.
"I can't let go of this! It feels like it's stuck to my hands!"
He points at Clyde again and the gun starts to shake along with him.
"It's going to shoot again!" Clyde announces, crouching down and covering himself with his arms.
But Lincoln aims at the sky and the gun stops shaking.
"I think that's the trick to not firing it," He deduces.
"What a weird recruitment," Clyde comments. "You really can't let go of your gun?"

"No."

Clyde tries to pull Lincoln's shotgun, but fails.
The gun remains glued to Lincoln's hands.

"Arf, arf... That's tough," Clyde takes a deep breath, before pulling his asthma inhaler out of his pocket.
"This smells like Luan," Lincoln frowns.
"Luan? Your clown sister?"
"Yes. She knows I'm here at your house and must have set up this prank to make fun of me. I bet she was the one behind that mailman disguise."

"And what are you going to do?"
"Now I'm going to run back home. Only she should know how to get rid of this gun."
"Hey, Lincoln, wait!" Clyde pulls out a black cape and a balaclava. "Put this on."
"For what?"
"I don't want people randomly freaking out on the street when they see my brother walking around with a shotgun in his hand."
"Yes, good thinking."


"Uh, what a great time for the car to break down!" Lola says ironically, sitting inside the Princess Car, her pink mini jeep, in the courtyard in front of garage of her house. "LANA!"
"WHAT IS IT?!" Lana screams, in an unknown place.
"Come fix my car!"
"As soon as I finish my work!"
"What work?!" Lola barks. "Nothing could be more urgent than attending to Princess Lola's royal needs and… Huh?"

Suddenly, a mysterious shadow covers Lola and her jeep.
She slowly turns her head and sees!
A mysterious being, dressed all in black, with his face covered and a huge shotgun in his hand!

"AAAHHH!" Lola lets out the most hysterical scream in the world!
"Lola, it's me. Where is Luan?" He asks, his voice muffled under the balaclava, barely able to be heard.
But he forgets to control the gun and shots by itself in Princess Car!

BANG!
BLOSH!

"AAAHHH!" Lola screams again, seeing the huge red stain on her jeep. "Don't kill me, sir, don't kill me! I'm too beautiful and young to die!"
"Lola, calm down," Lincoln demands uselessly, gun pointed high in the air.
"Here, this diamond crown is very valuable!" She takes the golden crown off her head. "And this pearl necklace is too!" She tugs violently on the necklace, scattering the beads on the floor. "I mean, was. And my mother-of-pearl earrings... And my glass slippers... Oh! I have something better! Just a second!"

She puts her hands over her mouth and makes a pained expression.
"Lola, what are you doing?" Lincoln is perplexed.
"Here. This is the best baby tooth I have. Exchange it for money at the Tooth Fairy's
currency exchange!"
Without further ado, Lola grabs the hem of her dress and runs off, in the opposite direction to Lana!
"AAAHHH! Save yourself, Lana!"

"What's all this hysteria, Lola?" Lana scoffs, approaching the jeep with her toolbox and wrench. "I only took so long because I had to pick up Charles's stuff in the garden. Now I'm going to leave our car looking shiny and..."
"Lana, please, try to be rational."
"AAAHHH! Don't kill me, sir, don't kill me! I'm too beautiful and young to die!"
"Calm down, Lana, you don't need to copy Lola in everything."
Lana empties her pockets:
"My lucky nickel, my Charles furball, my chewed gums..." She discards the red cap from her head. "Oh, keep my boomerang cap too and..." She pulls something out of her hair. "Oh, and there's this wonderful tick that—
OUCH! Calm down, Bruzenilde, I'm not a traitor. I'll rescue you right now."
"Lana, I don't want that trash!"
"N-n-no, o-of course not," Lana begins to tremble. "A thief like you came here looking for money, didn't you?" She takes off her left sneaker and dirty sock, reaching inside unceremoniously to pull out a few coins. "See, this is my 'sock-foot.' I keep more money in my 'spare fund.'" She points behind her. "But then I'll have to dig through the fund to..."

"ENOUGH! I only want one thing!"
"Oh, I know where I have a lot more money stashed!" Lana turns around.
"Money for what, Lana?" Lucy, in a dark gray sweatshirt and black jeans, materializing in front of her mechanical sister.
"Hey Lucy! Tell the rest of the people, okay?!"
Without further ado, Lana runs to the back of the house.

"Wow," Lucy marvels. "This is the first time I've ever shown up unexpectedly and she hasn't freaked out. And why was she barefoot on one foot? And why..."
Lucy sees the creature in black with the shotgun in hand.
She cranes her neck.
And let her right arm hang down.
And stiffens her left arm.
And lift her left leg.
And she remains paralyzed!
"Another paralysis..."

A tennis ball hits him in the head!

"OUCH!"

"You scoundrel!" Lynn Jr. shakes his fists in front of the garage. "You think you can threaten my sister like that?!" She runs and jumps on the shooter, making them both fall to the ground! "I'm going to smash your face in with a few good punches!"
"Stop, Leonard! It's me, your brother Lincoln!"
Lynn suddenly quiets down.
She takes off the balaclava covering his face.
"Lincoln!" She gasps. "Is you?!"
"No! I'm other!"
"Yes... You're other... Totally different from the brother I knew..." Lynn sweats coldly as she retreats, with Lincoln walking up to her, scowling more than ever. "Listen, 'Stinkoln', I mean, 'Lincoln-Golden-Boy-Of-My-Heart': all those times I used you as punching bag, called you 'loser', 'failure', 'Princess Elsa'..." She smiles weakly. "You
never took any of that seriously, did you? He he he he... I was just acting as a bully's stunt double, to toughen you up and prepare you against life's blows and..."
"GIVE ME ONE REASON I SHOULD NOT SHOOT YOU!" He can't take it anymore and shoots at the garage!

BANG!
BLOSH!

"AAAHHH!" Lynn kneels down and clasps her hands together, not noticing the red stain that has appeared on the garage wall. "Don't kill me! I'll do anything! You can use my body to wax the floor! I'll donate my section of the trophy shelf to you! No, better, I'll take all my trophies and engrave your name in place of mine!"
"JUST BRING LUAN NOW!" Lincoln roars.
"YES SIR!" Lynn gets up and runs home.

Mr. Grouse, the grumpy old neighbor, watches through the window.
"Well, well, Lincoln, you'll never become a marksman at this rate!"
He leaves the window.
"Why would that be any of his business?" Lincoln mutters.

Lucy is still there, paralyzed.
"Poor Lucy. And I can't do anything. If I wake her now, she'll be frightened again by the gun and..."

BLOSH!

"Mud projectile!" Lana exults, after throwing the first mud pie at her armed opponent.
"BLEERRGGHH!" Lincoln gets mud all over his hair, face, and mouth and can barely get a word out now.
"And get ready for more!" She brought several mud pies, and when she's going to throw the second one... "Lincoln?"
He gets angry again!
"S-so..." Lana stammers, still holding the pie in the air. "Y-you've really decided to declare... w-w-war on us?"
Lincoln shoots the pie!

BANG!
BLOSH!

"AAAHHH!" Lana screams, getting covered in mud. "Now I remembered that Kayla and I have a romantic dinner tonight! Bye!"

Lana gets into the Princess Car and drives it at full speed, without even checking it!

Suddenly, Mr. Grouse comes out of his house with a rifle!
"Look at that, Lincoln, how is beautiful. That's a real gun. Come on, I'll show you how it's done."

Unable to say anything due to his muddy mouth, Lincoln is led away by his excited neighbor.


After heading to a vacant lot...
"Look!" Mr. Grouse points. "That raccoon sloshing around in the trash can. I'm going to aim right at his tail, watch."

BANG!

The raccoon runs away, and Mr. Grouse hits the trash can head on!

"Ah! Dang it! He's faster than I thought… No, wait! He jumped on that red car. Now it's his head."

BANG!

The raccoon runs away, and Mr. Grouse shatters the window of the trunk of car, which, luckily, is empty!

"Oops... Well, Lincoln, I would be more than grateful if you didn't tell anyone what..."

Mr. Grouse is alone.

"Lincoln?" He looks around.

Police car alarm!

"Hey Grandpa! On your knees, with your hands on your head!"

"Dang it!"


A secret door opens in a tree near the Louds' garage.
Lisa comes out, wearing her scientist's lab coat and holding a squirt bottle.
"Anyway, let's see what news I missed up here."

Lucy is still there, paralyzed.
"Hmm... Another paralysis, dark unit?" Lisa rubs her chin, unconcerned. "Well, that will be very useful to me."

Unceremoniously, Lisa scoops up a handful of mud from Lana's pies and rubs it into Lucy's black hair and sweatshirt.
Then Lisa squirts a mysterious liquid on her sister.
The mud is washed away, but part of Lucy's sweatshirt deteriorates, gaining some rips and holes.
A quarter of her hair also stands on end and loses the black dye, returning to its natural blonde tone.
"Hmm... It needs a few adjustments," Lisa mutters calmly, noting on her clipboard.

Lucy wakes up with the liquid.
"Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh?"
"Hi, Lucy. Are you okay?"
"Am I not dead?"
"Your life force remains very strong. Why?"
"I had the impression I saw a black demon armed with a shotgun, right in front of me."
"Oh, Lucy, you watch so many horror movies that you are now experiencing visual hallucinations."
"Actually I don't..."

Lucy notices Lincoln Punisher running back to garage, with a black cape, his face covered in mud and the shotgun stuck to his hands.

She cranes her neck.
And let her right arm hang down.
And stiffens her left arm.
And lift her left leg.
And she remains paralyzed!

"Again, sister?" Lisa lifts Lucy's bangs, noticing the red lines in her eyes. "That's what happens when you always want to mistake any black shadow for..."
Lisa and Lucy are covered in a black shadow.
"AAAHHH!" Lisa gasps as she turns around and see the grim figure of the muddy knight. "VISUAL HALLUCINATIONS!"
Instinctively, Lisa squirts the liquid on her brother, washing the mud off his face.
"LINCOLN?!" She is surprised. "I... I... I left the synthetic meat on the stove! Excuse me!"
Lisa turns around and runs away!

Lincoln lets his arms drop, as he is tired of holding the gun upright so as not to fire it.

Suddenly, the mud inside his mouth dissolves, allowing him to speak again.
"AAAHHH... That's better."
"Lincoln, my love!"
"Luna?"

Lincoln notices Luna and Luan approaching slowly, with their hands raised and smiling weakly.
"Dear Lincoln, let's resolve this peacefully," Luna proposes.
"Yes, I even ripped the water flower off my shirt," Luan points out. "After all, it wasn't a peace flower. HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
"Collaborate, Luan!" Luna demands.
"Okay, no jokes for today."
The two kneel before their brother.

"It was you, wasn't it, Luan?" Lincoln grumbles, pointing the gun at the sky again. "You're the one who created all this nonsense?"
"Not me," Luan shakes her head. "Lori started, with her obsessive protectiveness and..."
"Shut up, Luan," Luna scolds her. "I take my share of the sins of our family, and you will do the same now."
Luan snorts, while rolling her eyes.

Luna continues:
"I know we let you down yesterday, little brother, but it's not worth doing that. Remember when we became your diorama in school? All the times you came home late and we covered you for the 'rents'? The red underwear that Lola bought you so you could be freer at home? The comics that you and I read together in our pants? Our first SMOOCH rock show?"

On one side, Luna and Luan think that their brother is emotionally out of control, and that the weapon he has is lethal.
On the other hand, Lincoln believes that his gun is just part of a Luan's prank and that she and Luna are just extending the game for too long.

Even if he deviates from the focus, Lincoln can't bear to listen and responds:
"For now, I'm going to pretend I don't remember the Zombie Bran, the headphones, the radioactive lotion, the amplifier flight, the raccoon guerrilla, the devoured chocolate, the quadruple date, and the fact that 9 girls are disgusted by picking up household rubbish. I just want you girls to stop this joke and get me out of this ASAP!"
"Yes, we'll save your neck," Luan assures. "Just throw the gun on the ground and..."
"I CAN'T DROP THE GUN, YOU KNOW THAT!" He shakes the gun at air.

"AH, YES YOU CAN!" Leni proclaims as she leaves the house.
Lincoln, Luna and Luan are amazed!

There's Leni, in her best combat pose: fiery gaze, shoulders raised, fists clenched and feet firmly planted on the ground!
All this while she is barefoot, wet, with a green towel wrapped around her body and hair covered in shampoo, as well as holding a frying pan in her hand!

"Leni, why did you get out of the shower?!" Luna exclaims.
"I even thought about taking cover in the bathroom," Leni, all serious, walks over to the three. "But I couldn't stay in there without feeling like I was betraying my loyalty to our family."
"But was hard for you to get dressed first?!" Luan exclaims.
"And I would waste time getting dressed while Lincoln shot you?!" She stops in front of Lincoln. "You can call me a nudist, but I'm not a cowardly nudist!"
"Leni..." Lincoln rolls his eyes, blushing deeply. "None of this is what it seems."

Vanzilla is arriving home, at full speed!

Leni ignores:
"What seems is that you're threatening the people who love you most in this world!" She raises the frying pan. "Dare to shoot, you coward!"

BANG!
BLOSH!

"NO!" Lori screams, just after parking the Vanzilla on the sidewalk (Lynn Jr. warned her over the phone)!

Leni, with her face covered in "blood", mutters:
"Daredevil..."
And she falls unconscious on the muddy grass!

BONC!

"Leni, my love!" Lori, in a black jacket and blue jeans, runs towards Leni, almost bumping into Luna and Luan.
She hugs Leni's "bloody" body:
"My sister... My precious darling... Why didn't I let you use my earrings?!" The runny mascara smudges her face. "Why?!"

The three crying sisters stare at Lincoln, who contemplates the scene with a mix of astonishment and admiration.

Until he starts smiling cynically!

"Thinking better... Why would I miss this chance, right?"

He points the gun at Lori!

"NO, DON'T KILL ME!" Lori lies on the floor, her hands on her head. "I'll do everything you want! Literally everything! You can run the house in Mommy and Daddy's absence! You can drive Vanzilla with me! We can read comics in our pants together! You can use me as a beanbag chair to rest your feet! You can come into my room whenever you want! No, better, I'll give you my room and sleep in your cramped closet! I'll even help you practice kissing with Peggy, or whatever the name of orange girl at the arcade that you have a crush..."

PEIM!

Lori looks up.

Lincoln is passed out, with a huge lump on his head!

Lynn Jr., smiling, with a stick in his hand, raises his arms in triumph!

"I WON THE WAR! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"That's it, athletic unit!" Lisa cheered, running excitedly towards the group. "You saved the day with your brave act of heroism and selflessness, earning you a degree in the estimation of all your family units and..."

Lori, Luna, Luan and Lynn Jr. give Lisa dirty looks!

"What's wrong?" She doesn't understand. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

But she soon realizes that their gazes are focused on the bowl of popcorn in her left hand and the bottle of guarana in her right hand, as well as the binoculars hanging from her chest.

"You just watched the circus burn down and did nothing?!" Luna shouts.
"Oh, please. This is more exciting than Dream Boat," Lisa explains, smiling weakly.


Lynn Jr. tries to take the shotgun away from Lincoln, but...
"Hey. It looks like the gun is glued to his hands."
"Excuse me," Lisa squirts her cleaning liquid into the hands of Lincoln (still passed out), unclipping the shotgun. "Ready."

Lynn pulls out the gun and looks it up and down.
"Hmm... Not bad."

Meanwhile, Lucy remains there, paralyzed.

"One more, dark sister," Lisa murmurs, squirting her liquid into Lucy again.

Lucy's sweatshirt gets more rips and holes.
Another quarter of her hair stands on end and loses the black dye, returning to its natural blonde tone.

Lucy wakes up with the liquid.
"Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh?"
"Are you okay, Lucy?" Lori asks.
"What happened?" Lucy scratches her head.
"It looks like you've had another bout of paralysis," Luna informs.
"Paralysis? But why?"
"Lincoln must have scared you," Luan reasons.
"But it's all over," Lynn Jr. assures, pointing the gun at Lucy's face. "We managed to defeat him with..."

Lucy cranes her neck.
And let her right arm hang down.
And stiffens her left arm.
And lift her left leg.
And she remains paralyzed!

Lynn goes silent.

"I think you better hide the gun," Lisa suggests. "Before she thinks you shot Lincoln to death."
"Okay," Lynn hides the gun behind her back, as Lisa squirts more liquid on Lucy.

Lucy's sweatshirt gets even more rips and holes.
Another quarter of her hair stands on end and loses its black dye, returning to its natural blonde tone.

Lucy wakes up with the liquid.
"Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh?"

But Leni also wakes up:
"Urgh... What happened?"
"Leni!" Lori is filled with joy, as are the other sisters (except Lucy, who still doesn't understand anything). "How do you feel?!"
"I look totes horrible," Leni stands, still with "blood" on her face. "I smell like wet grass and now
I'm going to have to take a bath again. And I'm going to have to wash this muddy towel."
She discards the dirty towel on the lawn and is completely naked in the backyard, surrounded by her sisters!

Lucy cranes her neck.
And let her right arm hang down.
And stiffens her left arm.
And lift her left leg.
And she remains paralyzed!

"Oops..." Leni realizes her mistake.
"Here, put on my jacket," Lori offers.
"Thank you," Leni puts it on.

"This is the last time," Lisa announces, somewhat irritated. "I'm almost out of fluids."
"Lisa, what product is that?" Luna frowns.
"A formula I invented to wash our clothes instantly, without having to remove them from our bodies," Lisa explains, as she squirts more liquid on Lucy. "And to wash ourselves in an instant, too."
"Guy, I know you dislike showers," Lynn says. "But I think you're trying to rush through life too much."
"Not to mention that you're ruining Lucy's clothes and not washing them," Luan protests.
"I know I'm on the right track," Lisa assures. "And mistakes are part of innovation."

Lucy wakes up with the liquid.
"Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh?"

The last quarter of her hair stands up and she completely loses her black dye!

Leni realizes, excited:
"Lucy, now you're as blonde as me."
"What?" She runs her hand over her head. "My straight hair... it's so coarse. As if it were... dead."
"And is that good or bad?" Lynn wants to know.
"I can't say."

Suddenly, Lucy's sweatshirt disintegrates into thousands of pieces, exposing her...

"Pink shirt?!" Luna is impressed.
"Princess Pony?!" Luan follows.

"AAAHHH!" Lucy instinctively hugs herself and runs away!

"What's gotten into her?" Leni scratches her chin. "She wasn't even naked."
"That doesn't matter now!" Lori points out. "Look! Lincoln is waking up!"

The girls back away from their brother, who kneels on the floor, one hand rubbing the sore spot on his head.
"Urrgghh... What a crazy trip, man."
"End of the line, Punisher!" Lynn Jr. yells, pointing the gun behind him. "We've taken control now!"

Lincoln stands up and laughs evilly:
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! For your information, Leonard, that gun doesn't fire!"

Before anyone can question, the shotgun rattles in Lynn's hands.

BOOM!

The gun definitely explodes!

Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn Jr., Lincoln and Lisa get covered in...

"SUGAR BLOOD!" Lucy yells, after returning with a dark gray shirt. "Who am I going to lick first?!"


Suddenly, the mustachioed postman's van pulls up there.

And the postman jumps out of the van, happier than ever.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! That's All, Folks!"

"But if wasn't Luan behind all this... Who are you?" Lincoln asks.

The postman removes his cap and false mustache.

"BOBBY?!" Lori is shocked.
"Hi Babe," He winks seductively.
"Oh no... It had to be this pamonha..." Lucy mutters.

Lincoln and the sisters get up.
"So... Can you explain to us what this is all about?" Lori wants to know.

Bobby then breaks it down:
"Okay, let's go: yesterday afternoon, my little sister Ronnie Anne talked to Lincoln on the phone and learned that he had a little disagreement with you and the other sisters, causing him to seek refuge at Clyde's house. From what Ronnie told me, it seems that Lincoln said something about wanting to teach his sisters a good lesson, so they would learn not to hurt him anymore. And Ronnie asked me to help him with that."
"I won't judge you, Lincoln," Luna strokes her brother's head, under the melancholic gazes of her other "bloodied" sisters, as well as Lucy. "In your place, I would have wanted exactly the same."
"And me too," Lucy agrees.

"So I thought about buying an airsoft gun, the kind that shoots paintballs, and rigging it with sugar blood, like the ones Lucy likes to make. And I put a special glue on the gun so it would stick to Lincoln's hands, preventing his sisters from confiscating it from him. And I made Lincoln think that the gun was part of a training to be a CIA agent
or something. I didn't tell him the truth for two reasons: to increase the comic effect and so that the blame would fall solely on me, and not on him. Sorry, little bro. I just wanted to help you," Bobby concludes, smiling.

Lincoln collapses, unconscious from exhaustion!
"He'll be fine," Lisa assures.

After all, Lori gives an enigmatic smile.
"What an ingenious plan, BooBoo Bear. Very ingenious."
"Thanks," Bobby, carefree, pulls the collar of his own shirt out of pure vanity. "I hope I've inspired you to be more protective of your brother from now on."
"Yes. Quite a lot. Now come with me to Vanzilla, because I have a little surprise for you."
"Yay. I just want to see what it is."

The couple walks to Vanzilla.

"You mean that shotgun isn't capable of firing a single shot?" Lori insists, with a mysterious and seductive look.
"None," Bobby says, all relaxed.
"That's great," She gets into Vanzilla and bends down to pick something up. "Well, you should know that my Father also has a rifle..."

Bobby crosses his arms, smiling positively.

"...AND REALLY SHOTS!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Bobby screams in horror as he sees Lori emerge from the van holding an authentic rifle!

BANG!
CRASH!

The bullet fired by Lori shatters the front window of Bobby's van!

"Calm down, Babe! Don't take it personally! It was just a prank!"
"I was never your Babe, your tomfool! And it's not just the prank!" Lori yells, walking slowly towards Bobby, who backs away as she continues to aim the gun at him. "I remember very well how YOU threw me against Lincoln in that 'Double Date' incident! You almost made me spank my brother, when he was the real victim of your bully sister! And now you want to teach me how to take goodcare of my brother, when you don't even know how to raise your own sister?!"

BANG!

She shoots the mailbox!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Bobby runs away!

Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn Jr. and Lisa open their mouths and are equally shocked as they see Lori furiously chasing her now ex-boyfriend!
Lucy gives the biggest smile in the world!

"COME BACK, YOU SCOUNDREL! I'LL SLICE YOU INTO 1000 PIECES!"


1 week later...

"How do you call the singer who saves his rock band from breaking up?" Luan fires, with a plate of sandwiches. "'Link Loud!'"
"Ha ha ha ha! That was good, Luan!" Luna agrees, making a little horn with her hand.

Sitting on the living room couch, Lincoln Loud, wearing nothing but his red underwear, is treated like a king:
Leni files her toenails.
Luna, Lynn Jr. and Lana read comics with him, also in their pants.
Lola, in a black maid's dress, massages his back.
Lisa, sitting at the little table, does his math homework.
Lucy, still blonde, sitting in the armchair next to them, paints a portrait of her brother, using all the colors.
Luan, wearing a black tuxedo and yellow bow tie, brings the snacks she prepares in the kitchen.

Lincoln sighs and breaks the fourth wall, speaking to TV viewer:
"I've already forgiven my sisters for breaking my model airplane. And they've forgiven me for scaring them. The important thing is to forget what happened and move on. My sisters can't stop spoiling me now. Not that they have to do that for me to love them. But it's nice to finally be treated well without them demanding anything in return. I love my sisters, even though they're not perfect. And I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world."

"AAAWWW!" Luna, Lynn, Lana and Lola sigh and hug Lincoln!

Lisa also looks at TV viewer:
"It's a shame that not everyone can forget the past."

Meanwhile, outside...

Lori, in her sergeant's uniform, paces the sidewalk in front of her house.
Carrying the rifle in her right arm and a cartridge cross in her body!
She also looks at TV viewer:
"Someday he will come back. Because war... IS WAR!"

THE END!


Notes:
- In cartoon, as well as in my fanfics in general, Lucy has naturally black hair. But just this once, I decided to put her as having been born blonde.
- The girl with orange hair who Lincoln has a crush on ("L Is For Love") is Paige, not Peggy.