As you walked closely by, your eyes met with mine.
Makin' me feel so alive.
Oh, I have been waiting for all of this time.
You finally found me my love has arrived.
~o0o~
Fiyero opened his eyes and frowned.
What the hell?
He looked down to find himself dressed in the clothes he was wearing yesterday. He lounged in the back of a horseless carriage. The sun was blindingly bright even with his sunglasses.
He gasped and sat up, looking around for Elphaba, only to feel his spirits drop when she wasn't there.
What the hell was going on?
He climbed out of the carriage.
"Mrow…"
He looked down to see a black cat shudder and go still.
"You hit a cat!" he cried at Av.
"I didn't see it!" Av protested.
Distressed, Fiyero knelt down and touched the poor thing, hoping it was just exhausted. It didn't move and didn't breathe. He swallowed hard and looked around for Elphaba. If that was a vision, then she had to be here. He spotted Galinda, chatting with her friends and looking over at him.
He hurried over.
"Galinda!" he gasped. "Where's Elphaba?"
Galinda blinked in astonishment.
"The prince knows the Artichoke?" one of her friends whispered.
"Last I saw her, she was in class," said Galinda, tossing her hair and fluttering her eyelashes. "I'm sure I could help you with whatever you need. She's such a bore."
Fiyero frowned. This wasn't right… Weren't they best friends?
He pursed his lips and looked around, hoping beyond hope he'd spot her.
"I can show you to Dr. Dillamond's class!" a boy with curly red hair piped up. "Elphaba stayed behind to talk to him, last I saw."
Fiyero nodded and followed the Munchkin. He was getting a headache.
"I'm Boq Underhill, by the way."
"Fiyero."
"Just so you know," said Boq, drawing himself up. "I saw Miss Galinda first."
Normally this would be the time Fiyero would make a joke about his amazement of him being present at her birth, but he just felt too off. Everything was wrong, even his own skin felt too tight, like it was itching to crawl away.
"Good for you," he said.
They reached the History classroom and Fiyero had the feeling he could have found it himself if he had tried to walk there without thinking.
"Miss Elphaba?" said Dr. Dillamond, pausing scrubbing graffiti off his chalkboard. "She left about ten minutes ago. I wasn't aware you two were acquainted. I'm glad I thought to recommend her as your tutor, then."
Ten minutes… Fiyero's brow twisted up in tandem with a sharp pain in his head. He thought of the black cat beside his carriage. No… no, no, no.
What had started off as a twinge behind his eye grew into a searing pain, like a hot knife was cleaving his skull in two and some clawed creature had reached in and was twisting his brain up like bread dough.
His body seized as his mind was assaulted by memory after memory. So many days looking exactly the same, layering into a singular memory. The days that diverged stood out fresh in his mind, all of them involving Elphaba, Elphaba, Elphaba.
Their true encounter appeared first; she gave him hell for his driver's actions and he was left stunned and intrigued that someone would talk to him like that. Subsequent days where she was distressed about the time loop followed.
The day she asked him out, he had been curious about her and agreed. People generally weren't all that straight forward with him, choosing to dance around interactions to try and make everything his idea. Spending the day with her was the most fun he had in years and he had considered exclusively dating her even if she did say she wanted them to be platonic.
Each day he had interacted with her, no matter the reason why, he had been drawn to her eyes that said so plainly, 'I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sad.' When she had cried so brokenly all he wanted to do was save her from her pain. Maybe his reasonings were a little selfish.
She had said she felt hopeless, that she saw no way out, and he was reminded of Pháidín. He wanted to prevent that end for her by showing her all the things life had to offer. It was stupid and foolish, but it was what he knew.
Fiyero knew her. Whatever magic that had put them in this loop, leaving out everyone but Elphaba couldn't fool him completely. Something deep in him had filed away the days they spent together. Cherished them. And so, when she had wanted to be with him, he accepted that more and more readily each time.
But then… oh, gods.
Oh, gods.
She had died. Time and time again. And each time, he felt a heartbreak he couldn't understand.
He turned onto his side and retched.
"Deep breaths, sweetie," said a kind voice.
His vision cleared and all his memories settled as if they'd never been missing.
A time loop.
Elphaba had told him several times and he had been telling the truth when he said he neither believed nor disbelieved her.
She'd been trapped for years and years, all alone.
What had she been doing that caused her to die this time? Was she still trying to free the Animals? She only brought him in once to help, she thought they succeeded, only to learn the clocks in Kiamo Ko ran fast.
Her body retained a ghost of what had happened to her the previous cycle. Was she now destined to die over and over again with no one able to help her?
Fiyero gasped for air and saw he was in the hospital. How long had he been out?
"I'll fetch the doctor now," said the nurse.
Fiyero stared at the ceiling, panting heavily.
The curtain separating him off moved and the doctor came in. Dr. Khinzer, the E.R. doctor from when Elphaba's foot snapped in two.
"Good afternoon, Your Highness," he said. "How are you feeling?"
"What happened to me?" he asked, feeling as if his mouth was full of cotton.
"You appear to have gone into shock," said Dr. Khinzer. "Your bloodwork and scans have come back normal, but we might have to look for a deeper cause. You were unresponsive for almost seven hours."
Fiyero pursed his lips.
"Psychic visions are common in my family," he said.
"I see. Have you ever had them before?"
"No, my sister is the one with the gift."
"I see." He made a note. "You attend Shiz University, so I'll write a referral to Madame Morrible. It's uncommon for visions to last this long and if they become more common, it's imperative you learn how to manage them. We will also schedule further tests to be safe."
"Fine."
"And we'll keep you overnight for observation. Someone will be along shortly to move you into a room."
"Sure."
The doctor left, Fiyero was moved into a room with a person in a full body cast, and the nurses fussed over Fiyero until he pretended to fall asleep.
He tried to focus on the good moments with Elphaba. He loved laughing with her and being with her. He rarely felt so free with another person. Maybe there had been times she had used the loop to her advantage to get things right, but he could hardly blame her for that. He would have done the same. Not everyone got a chance for a do-over.
Fiyero fell asleep for real, promising he would find a way to save her. To let her know she was no longer alone.
When he woke up in the back of the carriage, he sat up immediately and looked for her, hoping she would be there.
"Fae?" he called.
She was nowhere to be found. Not as a cat or a raven or even a dragon.
He had to find her.
That cycle, he looked at all of the places in Shiz they had been together and came up empty.
The next cycle he returned to the Emerald City and searched for her there, wondering if she tried to break into the Wizard's Palace again.
And every time, before 10:07 the next day, he was waking up in the back of the carriage.
"Yero, we're here."
"Yero, we're here."
"Yero, we're here."
Fiyero was growing desperate. She had to be there. She couldn't be gone forever. Not now.
He was searching the Emerald City again, lost in thought. He thought he saw a glimpse of a raven in the sky and was trying to follow where it flew. He wasn't looking at what was in front of him, he hadn't noticed everyone stopping at the crosswalk.
All he heard was the wailing of a horn and the screech of tires. Something huge slammed into him and he fell into the back seat of the carriage with a surprised scream.
"Whoa! You okay Yero?" Av asked.
He got hit by a bus.
Fiyero pulled off his sunglasses and dragged his fingers through his hair. There was a resistance in his muscles along with a dull ache in his bones. He looked up to see her staring at him.
There was a frailty about her, like a stiff breeze could knock her down. She blinked slowly and stepped away, running her hands over her braid.
"'Av, don't buy the absinthe again, I'm still seeing the green fairy,'" she muttered and paced around aimlessly. "'Not a fairy.' 'Huh.' 'What?' 'Nothing, you're just tall. Have we met? You seem familiar.' 'No, not before today.'"
She shambled towards the canal muttering to herself, "'Are you looking for something? Or someone?'"
"Freak show," Av scoffed. "Well, guess I'll see you next week, Yero."
"Uh-huh…" Fiyero climbed out of the carriage, wincing slightly at the protest in his body.
Av tried to do their handshake, but Fiyero brushed past him. He couldn't lose her. Not again. Never again.
"Are you looking for something—"
Fiyero hurried past Galinda and took off into the trees shading the bank of the canal where Elphaba disappeared to. There she was, gracelessly stepping over and around tree roots. He hadn't really planned what he was going to say or do when he found her again, but he really should have.
Otherwise, he might have handled her with greater care than calling her name, tackling her to the ground when she faced him, and kissing her fiercely.
Elphaba tensed beneath him and wasn't reciprocating.
Reluctantly, he pulled away so he could really look at her. Her beautiful eyes were wide with shock.
"I don't understand," she whispered.
"I remember everything," he said, cupping her cheek. "The time loop, all those days we shared and the days I lost you."
A wave of emotions crossed her face. Her lower lip trembled and she looked away.
"I'm sorry!"
"What are you sorry for?" he asked, gently guiding her to look at him again.
"I didn't want to be alone, but I would never force this on anyone and—" Her voice broke.
"No." He stroked her cheek with his thumb and kissed her gently. "No. Don't apologize for that."
He glanced over his shoulder. Some people were wandering over and he didn't want an audience. Especially not one as cruel and heartless as the students here at Shiz.
"Let's talk elsewhere," he murmured.
She nodded and red smoke billowed around them. It cleared and they were lying on the floor of her dorm.
"This was meant to be your dorm," she said weakly.
Fiyero quickly got up and helped her to the pink, tufted couch.
"How long have you been in the loop?" she asked.
"Not long," he said and sat down beside her. "Since the hospital. Fae… you died. So many times… I would have been there for you."
She shook her head.
"I didn't want to take advantage of you," she said. "It wasn't fair to you, you had no idea who I was. How could I demand anything from you? I love you too much to burden you like that."
She pressed a hand to her mouth and looked like she wished she never spoke.
She had said she loved him once before in the Emerald City. He woke up when she had kissed him and had barely registered her words before he was back in that carriage. In that split second instead of being scared or weirded out, he had felt so ineffably happy. To him, he had fallen in love in a single day.
Fiyero gathered her into his arms.
"Maybe my brain was fooled by the magic of this time loop," he said. "But my heart knows the truth and the truth is that I love you and every time you died I felt like a piece of me was taken with you. This last time I just wished to be with you so badly and my wish was granted. Okay, fine, we're in a time loop and we can't change anything, but at least we have each other. Don't we?"
Elphaba made a strangled noise and grabbed onto his shirt as she burrowed into him, popping a button. Fiyero held her as tight as he could, burying his face into her shoulder and breathing her in. He pulled her onto his lap so he could be as close to her as possible.
"I've been so lonely," she whispered. "I didn't know it was possible to feel so alone."
"Never again," he promised. "I meant it when I said I wanted to be exclusive. The thing with Galinda… I just always picked someone at the top of the social ladder. She would be a shield from unwanted advances."
"I understand," she said. "I don't intend to love anyone else but you."
He grinned.
"Unless Jaisen Funderberker comes around."
Fiyero barked out a laugh and was overcome with adoration for her.
"I'm not dreaming, am I?" she asked.
He tipped her chin up.
"If it is, then I hope we never wake up," he said and kissed her tenderly.
She sighed happily, deepening the kiss. Her glasses dug into his cheek and her nails bit into his flesh, but he didn't care one bit.
They both had the same thought: Close wasn't close enough.
Fiyero adjusted his hold on her, stood, and carried her to her bed. He remembered when she had gotten out of that bed in nothing but her slip and how shocked he'd been with his visceral reaction. His head had been turned by many beautiful people, but he had never wanted anyone so suddenly and so desperately.
If Galinda hadn't been there, he might have asked for her right then.
He told Elphaba as much and she snorted.
"What attracted you first? My tangled hair or my splotchy face?"
"I love your hair," he said, twirling a lock around his finger. "And I adore your freckles, but your eyes…"
He lifted her glasses and kissed the bridge of her nose.
Part of him wondered if he should back off a little. This must have been really overwhelming for her and she still looked so frail. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
"Hold me tighter," she begged. "Please."
"Gladly," he murmured.
He wove his fingers through her curls, being careful not to catch them on his rings, then kissed her long and well. It was a relief to have an answer to his feelings. Now there wasn't any need to hide. No need to hope things would align for them to be together. They could pick up conversations where they left them, they could kiss when they wished, and make love.
He told her all this and she kissed him twice.
"You're such a ham," she laughed.
"Am I wrong?"
"Not at all."
He grinned and kissed a trail down her neck and chest, running a hand up her thigh. Elphaba twisted her fingers into his hair and tittered sweetly as his lashes brushed her skin.
There was so much time to make up for, but for now Fiyero just wanted to lose himself in her love. To kiss her with twenty years of memories poured into them. To assure himself that he wasn't alone anymore.
The weight of their lost time was almost unbearable. Desperate hands swam and tugged at clothing.
"My Fae," he groaned softly.
She made the most beautiful sounds. She grabbed onto her brass bed frame, which creaked in rhythm with their movements.
The door burst open as Galinda and her immediate circle fluttered in. Elphaba lifted her head and Fiyero cursed their timing then figured it didn't matter since they wouldn't remember.
"I swear to Oz! Fiyero Tiggular here at Shiz!" Galinda squealed. "I have to pick the perfect outfit— SWEET LURLINE!"
Elphaba whipped her pillow around to shield them. "I can explain."
"Ew, that is permanently seared into my brain," said Pfannee.
"Seriously, Artichoke?" Galinda demanded. "In my room?! Ick! Stop! STOP!"
Fiyero rolled his eyes. They didn't have to stand there and watch.
"I thought you'd be back later," Elphaba said tiredly. "Can you give us five— ten minutes?"
"You get two!" Galinda sniffed and backed out of the room with her underlings.
Fiyero lifted his head to look at Elphaba and they broke into a fit of laughter. He kissed her twice and sat up to fix his clothes. Elphaba followed, wrapping her arms around him, burying her face into his shoulder like she was afraid he'd disappear.
He turned and pressed his forehead to hers, holding her tight, even as the quartet reentered.
"I can't believe someone could even stomach the thought of sleeping with you," said ShenShen.
"A Vinkun?" Pfannee chimed. "No doubt he's as big a loser as you are. They're just as freakish."
Fiyero scowled and sent them a glare over his shoulder. As one, they gasped and dropped their purses.
"Fiyero Tiggular?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out," he said and turned back to Elphaba. "Av should be done setting up my place. Ready to head there? We can have part two and three and… well eight is my lucky number."
A blush bloomed across her cheeks like he'd never seen and she laughed so hard she snorted. Fiyero grinned and kissed her fingers.
"I'm sorry, I think I hallucinated," said Galinda. "What? When? How?"
"Elphaba's my girlfriend," Fiyero said. "Technically, I asked her, what, ten years ago?"
Elphaba nodded shyly.
"Now we can finally be together," she said. "As for the how, I think I just got lucky."
"I'm the lucky one," Fiyero murmured.
Elphaba stood and fixed her skirt, then quickly buttoned up her blouse.
"I don't get it," said Milla.
"Well, that's the thing," Fiyero snipped. "You don't have to get it."
He was furious at how horrendibly Elphaba had been treated, and since this was a time loop, he no longer felt the pressure or need to avoid conflict.
Elphaba threaded their fingers together.
"Let's go," she said.
They went to his dorm and immediately went to bed. Fiyero just wanted to hold her in his arms. He didn't want to think about anything else, but Elphaba was a thinker. She probably had more thoughts in a single second than he would have all day.
But a question pressed through his lips.
"Why would you end your life?" he asked.
"Why did you ditch me at the diner?" she countered. "Why didn't you just leave me at the Ozdust?"
He wished he could say he didn't know and it would be enough, but he knew exactly what happened that led to her murder.
"I was stupid," he said. "I planned on seeing you home but… Galinda asked me to take her home right then and the others said they'd make sure you got back safe. I didn't really believe them but I figured you'd be okay. I'm sorry, Elphaba, I am so, so sorry."
It had bothered him when he made it back to his dorm. He had laid awake for hours feeling guilty. So, he got dressed and went back to Galinda's dorm to see if Elphaba had made it back. He knew it was really early, but he'd be okay with getting yelled at for disturbing their beauty rest as long as he knew Elphaba was okay.
Galinda was crabby when she answered, but as soon as she realized Elphaba wasn't there, she grew concerned. He waited for her to get dressed and they both went back to the diner to see if she had fallen asleep in a booth.
When she wasn't there, they decided to try and find her. Fiyero would have missed her, but Galinda spotted her blue-fire hair in the alley.
He hissed at the memory and held her tightly. His grief crashed over him in a wave.
"I'm so sorry," he croaked. "I am so sorry."
Losing her again and again… seeing her hang herself was the hardest to think about. Morrible had caught him and Galinda gave him the tour of campus. They were there right when Elphaba jumped.
He heard her neck break. Her glasses hit him on the head. At the time he didn't know who this girl was, but all he saw was Pháidín hanging there and he needed to go help.
As he pulled her back over the railing, he saw she had been crying and wished he could have arrived sooner. Maybe done something to help. After all that, he'd run into the nearby woods and stayed there until the loop reset.
Again and again, she ended her life. Again and again, when she was found and identified, Morrible called an assembly to notify of her passing. Again and again, people laughed off the death and claimed 'good riddance' and 'thank goodness.'
Except for Galinda who would go quiet and leave the assembly without a word to anyone and wouldn't emerge for the rest of the cycle.
Fiyero had asked her to the Ozdust during all of those occasions and had gone to see if she was okay. He knew she was home, he heard her radio, but she never answered the door.
"I never want to see you die again," he said tearfully.
"I was so hurt, Yero."
"I know."
"I just wanted it to stop."
"What do you want now?" he asked.
"Hold me?"
"Okay."
They burrowed under the plush covers of Fiyero's bed. He was glad the mattress was comfortable. He'd had a couple schools where the mattress seemed to have been there since the school was founded.
Elphaba insisted on braiding her hair, reasoning that if they both fell asleep she didn't want it to strangle them, but she braided it loosely and left enough for Fiyero to play with.
"How long have we been in the time loop?" he asked.
"Today is number eight thousand four hundred and twenty nine," she murmured. You came into the loop on eight thousand four hundred and twenty three."
Divided by 336 days in a year, that made about twenty-five years.
Twenty-five years alone would be enough to send anyone over the edge.
Elphaba fell asleep and the lines on her face smoothed. She still looked exhausted, as if even the act of sleeping was wearing her out, but the worry in her brow eased just a little. Maybe she was afraid he'd be angry they were in this loop together.
Fiyero drew her closer so her cheek rested on his arm instead of the pillow.
When she was sleeping too deeply to wake, Fiyero let his hand wander. He brushed some hair out of her face and lightly traced the freckles on her cheek. She had the same on her shoulders and chest.
He kissed the bridge of her nose and her left eyelid. He wished they could spend two whole weeks just like this, lost to the outside world.
Elphaba moaned softly in her sleep and burrowed closer to him. Fiyero gently eased onto his back to avoid waking her. She tucked her head under his chin and hummed four notes. What was she dreaming of? He hoped something gentle and sweet.
If the loop really had broken when she thought it did, what would have happened? Fiyero had been confused and more than a little scared. He didn't know exactly what he'd been getting himself into, but when Elphaba begged him for his help he knew he didn't want to refuse.
Maybe they would have fallen in love. Maybe their parents would have arranged a marriage between them to cement their allyship in the face of the Wizard. Pressure from the East and West would certainly have slowed things up in regards to the Animal Banns.
So many paths stopped before they could barely begin.
What did it mean for them now that they were stuck together?
Wind howled, rattling the window. Elphaba gasped softly and lifted her head.
"It's okay, duchess," he murmured. "Go back to sleep."
She brushed her lips against his chin and adjusted against him with a gentle sigh.
It meant, Fiyero decided, that he had all the time in the world with the person he loved. They could go anywhere, they didn't have responsibilities or idiots trying to pull them apart. They were free to be themselves together.
He smiled and dozed off, comforted by that thought.
