Old Wounds

Gabriel was hiding in the library, listening to Sam and Dean argue, He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he'd been looking for something in the back shelves when the older Winchester had started in, and had decided to stay out of sight. "She shouldn't stay, Sam. You know that."

"Do I? Because what I "know" is that Eileen wants to help. And she's willing to work with us, despite finding out that we have Angels here." Eileen had met the brothers while working her own case a few weeks ago, and proved to be competent and efficient. Sam had taken an instant liking to her, and had been disappointed when she'd originally said she was moving on. But a week ago, she'd been invited to the Bunker after telling Sam she was going to stay for a bit after all, and the younger Winchester had been practically giddy. He'd introduced her to the others, and she'd dealt with meeting the angelic trio fairly well. Of course, there had been questions because both Lailah and Artemis were pregnant, with the Huntress already showing with her twins. Eileen had taken it all in stride, and the other women had been happy to have her around. Now however, Gabriel was worried that Dean's big mouth was going to spoil Sam's happiness...

"You barely know her," Dean went on.

"We've barely known a lot of people when we worked with them the first time."

"We've lost a lot of people too." Sam was leaning against one of the tables, arms folded and shaking his head. Dean was up against one of the bookcases, arms also crossed. "She's human, and we get involved with too much to risk her being here."

"We were human once too, and that never seemed to matter."

"We chose this life, Sam." Now the taller man blinked in confusion and took a step forward.

"We didn't "choose" shit, and you know it! You became a Hunter because that's what Dad chose for you. I ended up helping you because you're my brother. The whole Apocalypse thing? We didn't want anything to do with that, but Heaven kept going on about "fate" and "destiny", and I made the only "choice" I could think of at the time to end it. I didn't "choose" to lose my soul for a year, just like you didn't "choose" to end up in Purgatory. Do you know what actually, finally felt like a choice I made for myself?" Dean was a little surprised by the outburst, but managed to keep a neutral expression on his face.

"No, what?" Sam flared his wings slightly, then folded them back down.

"Becoming a Nephilim. Because even though I knew you would take Lailah's offer, I still had doubts that night. And when I told her about them, all she said was: "No one but you can decide this, Sam. Not me, your brother, or even God. You and you alone must choose what you want." And I wanted to take that step with you, because it's always been you and me against the world." Dean nodded, smirking a little in assuming Sam was coming around to his view.

"Okay, so you see my point about Eileen, right?" Again, Sam shook his head.

"But it's not just us anymore, Dean. We've got Cas, Lailah, Artemis, and Gabriel. We've gone from just being the Winchester brothers to a family. And if Eileen wants to join that family, even for a little while, why can't she?"

"Sam, you're still the most important person to me."

"I shouldn't be, is my point. Cas is your bond-mate, your husband, and the other father of your child. Your kid, Dean. The kid that you both wanted, and were so happy to learn was on its way." It had been three months since the Dominion and Huntress had informed them that their family was going to be adding three new members, and Dean had seemingly taken that all in with his usual smile and nod. "You need to put them first. Not me."

"Cas would never ask me to do that." Sam stepped closer to his brother, anger in his eyes.

"He shouldn't have to ask! Dad didn't exactly put us first, did he?" Dean looked away, but Sam knew he'd struck a nerve. "I will always be your brother. Nothing will ever change that. But you need to get your priorities straight before that baby gets here. Just like I need to start figuring out my own life." Dean's head snapped up, eyes narrowed.

"I do have my priorities straight! Maybe it's you who's forgotten!" With that, he stormed out, and Sam sat down at the table and put his head in his hands for a moment before reaching for a book to try and distract himself with research. Gabriel wanted to go and tell the younger Winchester that it would be okay, but he clenched his fists and resolved to set things straight with the actual issue. So he zipped over to where Dean was pacing in the War Room, appearing on the table and startling the other man. "Jeezus, Gabriel! You trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"We need to talk." The clipped, no-nonsense statement immediately concerned Dean.

"About what?"

"About Sam, and your... Weird dependency on him." Gabriel hopped off the table, now leaning against it with his arms crossed. "And how that's really starting to affect him."

"You know nothing about us and what we've gone through together."

"You're right: I really don't. But what I do know is that Sam believes he has to basically pay you back for watching over him all these years. And I think that's bullshit."

"That's because you don't know what it means to have siblings." Gabriel frowned, looking at the floor for a moment.

"I've been here six months, Dean-o. And in that six months, I've learned more about being a brother than I ever did in my eons of existence. Now, do I depend on Cas and Lailah? Yeah, because I'm still not as "me" as I know I could be. But they aren't expecting anything from me other than to care about them and protect them if I'm able to. Neither of them are mad that the other is married, or expecting kids. Because even though the twins love each other like you and Sam do, they both have people even more important to them."

"Cas would still step in front of Lailah to protect her."

"Not saying he wouldn't. But he'd also do the same for you. And I know Lailah would risk her life to save Artemis'. Because to an Angel, and to them specifically, there is no greater declaration of love and commitment than the bond. I told Cas once that our siblings would bond for power or favors, but... I don't think that's actually true. Because the ones who were bonded tended to be the Angels who left to become gods like me." Dean rolled his eyes, and the Archangel sighed. "You want me to get to the point, right?"

"Yeah, sometime this century would be nice."

"Let Sam be happy, even if that means he has someone else as a priority."

"You are crossing a line, Gabriel. Back off." Dean was glaring at him, but Gabriel raised an eyebrow and stood up straight. The Archangel had to remind himself that the Hunter had both the speed and power that came with being a Nephilim, and was therefore slightly more dangerous than he'd been the last time Gabriel had angered him. Still, it was a Seraph versus an Archangel, and Gabriel wasn't going to back down this time. Sam deserved that much.

"Or what?" Dean was now in front of him, wings slightly flared.

"I tolerate you for the sake of the others. Don't piss me off."

"You don't make the rules for everyone. This place is just as much my home as it is yours."

"You think anyone would care if I tossed your ass outta here?" Gabriel could see a darkness building up in Dean, and felt his hands start to shake, but quickly fought the panic back.

"Cas and Lailah would. So would Sam. And even if you don't care about me, you care about them. But that doesn't mean you need to hold onto them as tight as you do. My brother will never abandon you, and your brother will be at your side for eternity. But only if you don't force him to stay." Dean's eyes narrowed, and there was a flash of something in them that made the Archangel question if he was looking at green or yellow. He couldn't stop the shaking now, and felt his own wings start to respond to the "fight-or-flight" that was currently surging through his system.

"I will not lose Sam. Not to Heaven, Hell, Angels, or Demons. And certainly not to you."

"I just want Sam to be happy. And right now, I don't think he is. C'mon Dean... Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Eileen is a good person, and if she makes Sam happy... We should all be happy for him. Not be trying to guilt-trip him into making her leave." Before he even realized what was happening, Gabriel was spun around and pinned to the table, one arm wrenched behind him, and Dean's hand squeezing the back of his neck. The Nephilim was leaning over the smaller man, mouth right by his ear as he shouted:

"Sam is my brother, and you have no say in how I treat him!" But the Archangel was no longer listening, and Dean realized too late that every part of him was trembling in fear. He could hear hurried, whispered apologies said faster than breathing should've made possible. Tears were falling from eyes that were squeezed shut, and there was also a buzzing sense of sheer panic that was pulsing all around them. Even his wings were frozen, both of them laying out flat as far as they could stretch. Dean heard footsteps thundering down the hall, and everyone arrived at the doorway at almost the exact same time. Sam took in the situation first, eyes wide.

"Dean, let him go!" But almost as soon as the words left his brother's mouth, Dean found himself flung across the room and pinned to the opposite wall. Cas and Sam both caught Gabriel as he collapsed, and Lailah stepped past them to glare at him. Eileen went to move forward as well, but Artemis pulled her back and shook her head.

"Explain yourself," the Dominion ordered, eyes glowing and one arm outstretched as she continued to hold him against the wall.

"We got into an argument, and it got a little... Heated."

"Heated?!" Sam shot back, anger clear in his voice. "You don't pin our friends to tables, and you don't grab people with bondage trauma!" He was holding Gabriel, trying to get through the overwhelming panic to calm him down. Cas had one hand on the Archangel's back, but Gabriel didn't seem to notice the commotion around him. The Angel saw the blank look on his brother's face, and realized he'd shut down like when Ketch had brought him to the Bunker.

"I didn't think he'd react like that!" Dean shouted. However, he felt the power holding him against the wall falter, and looked back at Lailah. His eyes went wide as he saw that her eyes were now glowing green, and she was starting to shake. "What the hell-" And then she collapsed, though Cas managed to catch her before she hit the floor. Artemis was now next to her, fear on her face.

"What happened?" The Angel shook his head.

"I'm not sure. Sam-"

"Get her to bed. She might have just overextended her power, but stay with her." Then he looked at Eileen and signed as he spoke: "Help me with Gabriel, please."

"Of course," she said, keeping a wary eye on Dean as Cas and Artemis left the room, the Angel still with his sister in his arms. Sam shifted his attention to his brother as well, glaring at him.

"You should go. Before you make things worse."

"Sam, I didn't-"

"Save it. My priority is helping Gabriel right now." Dean nodded almost mechanically, leaving the room and running his hands through his hair once he was a little down the hall. He heard footsteps heading to the Archangel's room, and knew he needed to give his brother time to sort things out. So he headed for Lailah and Artemis' room, seeing the door open. The Huntress was sitting on the bed, the Dominion cradled in her arms. Cas was standing at the end of the bed, watching them both with concern. Lailah was still out, which made Dean nervous.

"Cas, I-"

"We are not going to have a shouting match while my sister is unconscious," the Angel told him, not even looking at him. "So unless you can keep your voice down, go cool off somewhere."

"You're blaming me too?" The blue eyes shifted to him, but they were full of anger.

"You are to blame, Dean. What could Gabriel possibly have said to you that elicited that response?" Dean ground his teeth for a moment, fists clenching.

"He was telling me that I should let Sam be happy. That I was still relying too much on him, and getting in the way of him living his own life." Artemis rolled her eyes, but said nothing, while the Angel sighed heavily.

"So you pin him onto the table? And not only that, but you did it in a way that brings up his memories of being Asmodeus' prisoner."

"I didn't realize that. I just wanted him to stop talking." Cas tilted his head and blinked.

"Dean... Do you even remember how you had a hold of him? You'd twisted one of his arms back, and had a grip on the back of his neck. That was an intimidation hold."

"Okay, yeah... Maybe... Usually Angels don't back down unless you scare them." The Angel raised an eyebrow at that statement.

"You wanted Gabriel to be scared of you? To fear you? Whatever you were trying to accomplish is irrelevant, if that was your actual goal." It was Dean's turn to sigh heavily.

"It... Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Funny that when I had that reasoning, you never accepted it." Dean looked startled by that, and now Cas turned to fully face him. "Do you remember when I tried to apologize after Crowley got the Angel Tablet? What you said in response to me?" The Hunter swallowed and looked away, nodding as he flashed back to that scene.

"I told you to cram your apology up your ass."

"You haven't even tried to actually say you're sorry. I think you're more upset that all of us are calling you out on your actions." Dean's head snapped up, anger on his face.

"That's not-"

"Lower. Your. Voice." The Angel's tone was ice-cold, eyes blank. For the first time in years, Dean was actually scared of him. "Go have a beer and watch a movie to calm down. We'll talk later."

"Cas, I... I'm sorry Lailah got caught up in this. But I won't apologize for how I reacted with Gabriel." The Angel just turned back to the bed, though his disgust with his husband's answer was clear. Dean did as he'd been told, grabbing a drink and slumping onto the couch in the living room. But instead of turning on the TV, he replayed the scene between him and the Archangel over and over. And as he did so, he kept seeing the fear and hesitation in Gabriel's voice and reactions as the conversation progressed. Even his wings had reacted like he was being attacked: Flaring out for the possibility of escape, and then curling around his body to shield him when he'd fallen to the floor. What had started out as him speaking frankly about wanting to help Sam, had devolved into him fearing for his safety because of Dean.

"Damn it!" The bottle broke in his hand as he clenched his fist, but the cuts healed instantly thanks to his powers.

"Finally figured out who to be mad at?" He looked up in surprise, seeing Artemis standing there. She walked over and sat in the recliner, staring at him as she waited for his answer.

"He started it." The Huntress blinked, then started laughing.

"By the stars, are you five?!"

"Artemis, you don't-"

"Did you know that I had a brother?" Her voice was suddenly monotone, and now Dean looked at her in confusion. "A twin brother, though I was slightly older. Surely you've heard of Apollo?"

"Did he become a god?"

"No, but he was beloved by the Angels. He was an Oracle; what you'd call a Prophet nowadays. We were raised together, until our paths diverged. He went to train and learn how to control his gift, and I became a Hunter like my mother wanted me to be."

"You... Didn't want to be one?"

"I wanted to stay with my brother. To protect him. I'd promised our mother I would always watch over him, and I couldn't do that if he was so far from me. But as the years went on, I threw myself into learning all I could about the beasts and creatures that preyed upon humanity. And it was in tracking one of these things that I happened to run into Apollo again. Though our reunion was anything but joyous..." She folded her hands in her lap and closed her eyes, and Dean saw the tension in her frame. "A Chimera was stalking the grotto where he was training, and attacked during a festival. Dozens were injured, and many were dead by the time I got there. And Apollo... My sweet, brave brother, had placed himself between the monster and a group of young women. So while it was savaging him, they were able to escape, and I was able to kill it. But he... He was dying, and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. And so I prayed. I prayed loudly to whatever god or otherwise cared to listen. That if they saved my brother, I would give them whatever they wanted." Dean's eyes went wide as he flashed back to praying over Sam's hospital bed for someone, anyone to answer his prayer.

"What showed up?"

"An Angel. Or at least, that's what it told me it was. At the time I didn't know, nor did I care. I begged it to heal my brother, and it did. But after Apollo was healed, it said "I want your brother. That is my payment. Do not try to stop me." And I was so angry that this thing was still going to take Apollo away from me. But then... A bright light flashed, it screamed, and then was gone. That's when I saw Lailah standing by a pillar, her hand on a sigil I didn't recognize. And she said "You shouldn't blindly trust them. Angels don't always have mortals' best interests in mind". And all I could do was stare at this... Beautiful, brave, woman who had saved my brother. And once we'd dealt with everyone's injuries and tended to the dead, I left with her."

"You left with Apollo too?" Artemis sadly shook her head.

"No. He wanted to stay and continue his training, because that was how he was going to eventually help people. But he told me I needed to continue my work, because it was just as important. And even though I wanted to knock him out and throw him over my shoulder, I didn't. Because I had to accept his choice. He could've walked away, especially after going through what he did, but he didn't. And I respected him more for it."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"At his wedding a few years later. He was marrying a fellow Oracle, and I was... Excited, and scared, and happy for him. And he told me to stick by Lailah's side. That I wouldn't regret it."

"Was he right?"

"More than he knew. I wouldn't change a damn thing that happened, because I can't imagine my life without her. And I know she feels the same way. Probably like Cas does for you, yeah?"

"I mean... I think so? He's always assuring me that he never regrets choosing me over Heaven."

"Wouldn't it be great if you could say the same?" Now Dean fixed her with a hard stare.

"I love him, Artemis. He knows that."

"But not enough for him to come first in your life. And he knows that."

"If Apollo had come with you, wouldn't you have felt conflicted?"

"That's the whole point, Dean: He didn't, because he made the choice to stay. I won't lie and say that I wouldn't have had trouble prioritizing my brother over my lover for a bit, but... I know Apollo wanted me to be happy as well, and he knew Lailah was who I needed. So by choosing to live his own life, he was helping me realize I should live my own as well. That didn't mean we suddenly stopped being siblings, but just that we both recognized that we needed to be apart to reach our full potential."

"That's easier said than done." Now Artemis gave a derisive snort.

"Of course it is! But if you don't ever make the attempt, you'll never know if you can. Though to point something out: Your child isn't even born yet, and they're already putting you first."

"The hell are you-" And then Dean remembered Lailah's eyes flashing green right before she passed out. "That was... My kid did that?"

"Lailah said they were afraid she was hurting you, and they were trying to get her to stop. Both of them are okay now, and she's helping with Gabriel. I knew I'd just be in the way, so I came to find you." Dean's eyes were wide as he looked up at her.

"They wanted to protect me? That's my job."

"Even over your brother?"

"First of all, Sam would never forgive me if I saved him over his niece or nephew. And I don't think Cas would look at me the same way either... Shit, I'll probably have to stop him from diving in front of our kid every time they might get hurt."

"It's not just about the children, Dean. Everyone in our... Family is precious. Even when they piss us off by bringing up truths we'd rather not face." He sighed heavily and hung his head.

"You talking about Gabriel?"

"Was there another Archangel you scared the shit out of a couple hours ago?" Artemis stood, walking over to rest a hand on his shoulder. "I don't have all the answers. No one does. But I don't want to see you tear yourself apart trying to hold onto something that is being freely given. Sam reminds me a lot of Apollo, and I swear to you that I will protect him as best I can. Lailah considers him her dearest friend, and Gabriel... That little jerk loves your brother, and I think he'd take on Lucifer himself if it meant Sam would be safe. And if Eileen turns out to be Sam's "Heaven"? Then we should all welcome her with open arms and protect her too. None of this means that Sam no longer cares about you. But you need to let him show you the kind of person he's meant to be."

"I... I don't know if I can," Dean admitted, voice barely above a whisper. Sam walked in then, staring at him with a carefully neutral expression. Artemis nodded at him and gave a hopeful smile.

"Were you able to calm Gabriel at all?"

"A little, yeah... Eileen's a bit freaked out over what happened, though."

"I'll go talk to her. We can bond over coffee and me stumbling through signing." The Huntress cast a quick glance at the two men as she left the room. Silence stretched into an uncomfortable few minutes before Dean finally bit the bullet and asked:

"...How is he?" The younger Winchester shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, he thinks you're a Demon. Lailah's trying to reassure him that you're not, but I don't think he believes her at the moment. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Nothing that'll justify what I did, apparently."

"Dean..." Sam watched his brother sigh and press his hands to his eyes for a moment, standing up and beginning to pace in front of the couch.

"I wasn't thinking, okay? Gabriel's usually a smug little shit who hides behind his illusions, so I wasn't convinced it was the real him I was talking to."

"You really think he'd pull something like that on us now?"

"He managed to trick Lucifer, Sam."

"Lucifer is a fucking psycho!" Dean's eyes widened as he saw the tension in his brother's frame, his arms having gone rigid at his sides. "He doesn't care to look past the surface of things because to him, no one else matters. Now last time I checked, you weren't a crazy Archangel."

"No, we just have one living in the Bunker now..."

"Gabriel isn't crazy! He's traumatized from what Asmodeus did to him."

"Shouldn't he have... Gotten over that by now?" Sam stared at him, scarcely believing what he was hearing, but then remembered who he was talking to.

"Gotten over it? Not everyone can shove their suffering beneath sarcasm, alcohol, and work."

"Should be easy for Angels though."

"Is it easy for Cas?" Sam knew that was a low blow, but he didn't much care right now. Dean frowned, looking at the floor for a moment.

"He's different."

"He's still an Angel, like Gabriel, and like Lailah. That's why they were all looked down on; because they're more like us than other Angels. It's also why they're part of our family now. Because underneath our pride and stubbornness, we're all cracked or broken in some way." Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Sam kept going: "And there's nothing wrong with admitting that. Life is better now, Dean. We can take a couple steps back to assess situations instead of just rushing in on impulse, because we have more support. And that's in all aspects, not just hunting. We don't have to keep stuff buried like we have been all our lives, but you keep holding onto it until you explode. Sure, you eventually apologize, but the cycle keeps repeating. Not to sound like a dick, but what happens when your son or daughter gets older? You gonna snap at them like Dad did to us?" Sam watched Dean's face darken; his jaw clenching. "Your first instinct is usually violence. I don't want to see your kid be scared of you like we were of our own father."

"I would never-"

"You don't know that! Especially with today as an example of what you might do."

"My kid already means the world to me, just like we must've mattered to Mom and Dad when life was good. I don't..." Dean sat back down, head in his hands. "If they ever flinched when I went near them? Or didn't want to tell me something was wrong? Hell, if I ever saw them fight back emotions because they knew it would piss me off..." Tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Sammy, that's not the kind of dad I want to be."

"Then remember that." The brothers turned to see Cas standing there, smiling sadly. "Remember that you are Dean Winchester, and not your father. Because the man I love has a good heart and a shining soul. He loses his temper every so often, and then feels guilty about hurting those he cares about. But when the bad guys are at our door, there's no one else I'd want at my side." Sam nodded, noting that Dean was staring at his husband with a slightly guilty look.

"Did something happen while I was helping Gabriel?"

"Cas and I got into a fight, is all," Dean replied with a shrug.

"Wasn't exactly a fight..." the Angel reminded him.

"Cas, I honestly thought you were one step away from drawing your Blade and chasing me outta that room." The blue eyes widened, guilt now on his face.

"Dean, I-"

"I know you wouldn't actually have done that, but you were really pissed at me."

"You scared Gabriel. And you still haven't apologized." Dean sighed and nodded.

"You're right. But I need to say it to him, and I'm pretty positive your sister will try to stab me if I go near him right now." Cas thought about that statement, and how much anger he'd felt from Lailah as she'd regained consciousness and almost immediately gone to check on their brother.

"...That is very accurate."

"I'll go with you," Sam offered. "If Artemis is making sure Eileen is okay, I can spend a little more time trying to convince Gabe that he's safe." Dean swallowed nervously, but nodded and headed for the Archangel's room with Sam at his heels. The door was halfway open, but he knocked first.

"What do you want?" Of course Lailah would know it was him.

"Can we talk?"

"Are you capable of that?" she shot back, the bitterness and anger right at the surface.

"We can find out." There was a sigh, and then the door opened the rest of the way as she psychically tugged on it. Gabriel was lying in her arms, wings wrapped so tightly around himself that Dean couldn't see any other part of him. Lailah stroked the sky-blue feathers and whispered:

"Gabriel, Sam's back."

"...Dean's here too." The Archangel's voice was so soft that the Nephilim wasn't sure he'd have heard it had he still been human.

"Yes, but I think he's come to apologize."

"...Why?"

"Because I was an asshole," Dean replied. "You were trying to speak to me as someone who cares about my brother, and I just... Didn't want to hear it. And regardless of my reasoning at the time, I shouldn't have attacked you. You didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry."

"...I did."

"You did what?"

"Deserve it." The wings shifted a bit to reveal Gabriel's face, and Dean felt his heart hit his throat as he saw a host of emotions in his eyes: Guilt, shame, fear, anger, and this profound sadness that he didn't even realize the Archangel was capable of feeling. It was like he was back in the hotel room with Cas talking about how he would want to end things if he saw what had happened to Heaven... "I'd been nothing but an ass to you and Sam. Even when you protected me against Asmodeus and his goons, I ran out on you the first chance I had. Ran like I've been doing almost my whole life."

"You already apologized for that."

"So what?" The Archangel sat up a bit, shaking his head. "You don't have a reason to trust me except on Cas, Lailah, and Sam's word. Every other Angel you've met has wanted to either make you and your brother end the world, or wanted to hurt Cas in some way. I wasn't any different when you first found out who I really was: I just wanted Michael and Lucifer to get their stupid fight over with, and didn't care that it would cost both of you everything. That it would cost humanity everything. So when I show up again and start wanting to play house? You were suspicious, and I can't blame you for that. Despite my fight with Michael, you were wary of me. Because what other... Trickery would I end up making you deal with?" His wings were now lying limp at his sides as he closed his eyes and took a breath to steady himself. Sam went over to the bed, crouching down and taking his hand.

"Gabriel..." His brother had such a heartbroken look on his face that Dean had to look away.

"And this... Lingering fear and panic doesn't help," Gabriel continued, slumping back down. "Can't even get yelled at without folding like a deck of cards..."

"I could have listened to you," Dean argued, trying to keep his voice even. "But I just let my temper get the better of me and ended up dragging you right back down into the pit you've so desperately been trying to claw your way out of. Did you... Did you see me as Asmodeus?" It was a heavy question, but neither Sam or Lailah looked like they were going to intervene, and the Archangel folded his wings back in before pulling the Dominion's arms around himself.

"Kind of," he admitted. "But you have a darkness all your own, and I think that's worse."

"Worse?"

"Because you're supposed to be like us, and Angels are supposed to be "pure" and "light". But the angrier you got, the more that darkness came out. Like the endless void you see when you look into a Demon's eyes..." Sam's eyes went wide, and even Dean was shocked by that.

"You can see that?" Now Gabriel looked confused.

"Yeah? It's easy for Angels, since we always see how people truly... Are. Do you two still look at the world like you always have?"

"Maybe?" Dean admitted with a shrug. "Not sure I know any other way of seeing it."

"The more time you spend in your angelic forms, the easier it'll be to see how we do," Lailah explained. "And before you ask: I believe I know what darkness Gabriel's talking about."

"You wanna share with the class?"

"The Mark. You may not physically have it anymore, but it has left its-" She sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing the pun was the only way to continue: "Its mark on you."

"Yup, not surprised that thing is still biting me in the ass..."

"You aren't talking about the-" Gabriel asked, before Dean cut him off.

"The Mark of Cain. Or I guess, Mark of Lucifer, to be more accurate?"

"The seal keeping The Darkness at bay?" Now the Archangel looked even more nervous. "But you don't still have it, so who-"

"It faded one day. Not before turning me into a Demon, though..."

"WHAT?!"

"I cured him," Sam stated, squeezing Gabriel's hand to bring his gaze back to him. "Used blessed blood and made him human again. But yeah, while we were trying to figure out how to permanently deal with the Mark, one day Dean woke up and it was gone."

"So does that mean-" Gabriel looked up at Lailah, who looked like she had accepted as fact what he was fearful of.

"The Darkness is out there somewhere, free. Maybe we'll have to deal with it one day, but that day is not today. That also means that we're going to need you at your full power."

"Yay..." Dean was curious and a bit nervous to the siblings' reactions and comments, and decided he would need to ask Cas about this later.

"So now that you know I'm not still a Demon, are we... Good, Gabe? Or at least, good for now? I know I was trying to scare you, but I didn't think it would actually work. I've only ever seen an Archangel be scared one other time, and it wasn't of me." Gabriel's gaze slid off to the side for a moment, before meeting Dean's eyes.

"When Cas killed Raphael?" Dean raised an eyebrow, a little surprised.

"He told you about that?"

"A few months ago. We um... We had a bonding moment. Or more like I asked some stupid questions, and got some awful answers."

"So he also told you about absorbing the souls from Purgatory?"

"Yeah... And how he broke the wall in Sam's head to try and keep you occupied." Dean swallowed the old resentment he still felt regarding that, shaking his head. "I um... I wasn't very happy with him, but I also know that he was stuck in a place where he didn't see any other choice. And he still has so much guilt about a lot of things that me being mad is almost a waste of time."

"Yeah, Cas... I didn't know Angels felt things like guilt or remorse until he did."

"We usually don't," Gabriel stated with a shrug. "Even me... I never really felt it until I got involved with you and Sam. Must be something about you two: Angels either die or gain human feelings. Neither is a good thing where Heaven is concerned."

"Does that bother you?" Sam asked, genuinely curious. Gabriel smiled slightly, looking up at Lailah, who smiled back.

"Nah, not anymore. Heaven can kiss my ass, and feelings aren't all bad." Then he sat up and held his arms out to Sam. "And speaking of feelings, I could really use a Sam-hug right about now." The younger Winchester gave a shy smile and switched spots with the Dominion on the bed, wrapping the Archangel in his wings as Gabriel rested his head on Sam's shoulder. Dean watched the scene in silence, noticing that Lailah brought a hand up to her "bump" and smiled again.

"Gabe... I gotta admit that what you did took some guts." Gabriel tilted his head and frowned in confusion. "Coming to talk to me. You know Sam is a sore spot, but you were fighting yourself to keep going; to try and make me listen."

"Yeah, and it got me pinned down without even a hint of fore-"

"Gabriel, no," Sam interrupted. "Do not make that joke when it involves Dean."

"Right, right... Sorry Sammy." The Archangel closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "I'm a little braver when it comes to helping people I care about. Wouldn't have been able to take on Michael, otherwise... But thanks for noticing, Dean-o." Dean could tell the entire ordeal had exhausted him, and wasn't too surprised when he seemingly fell asleep a few moments later.

"We'll stay with him tonight," Lailah stated. "Or at least I will."

"I'll stay too," Sam quickly offered. "Eileen's going to need sleep at some point, and I know she won't be able to hear Gabriel if he has a nightmare, but... He broadcasts terror pretty loudly, and I don't know if she'll be able to sense that."

"She might be able to. Our emotions can overwhelm mortals if we're not careful," the Dominion explained. "But I think once we get through tonight, he'll be okay." Dean heard the resignation in her voice, and felt guilt starting to claw at him again.

"Lailah... I know I fucked up, but I'm gonna prove that you can trust me with your brothers' safety." She turned to look at him, shaking her head.

"I can't control how Cas feels, nor would I ever want to. But you need to reign in your temper. Because if I ever feel you're a threat to anyone in this family, I will do whatever I need to to stop you."

"Good. Long as you don't kill me, I might even learn something at some point." She raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged. "I'm still partly human. Unlearning what I've felt and thought my entire life is gonna take a few lifetimes of trial and error. But I will prove to you that making me a Nephilim wasn't a mistake."

"Dean... I would never think that," she admitted. He tilted his head, now confused. "Regardless of my current anger at you, I know deep down you're a good man. My twin brother loves you, and as long as you protect and love him and your child in return, granting you a Nephilim's power will never be a mistake."

"I owe you everything for not only turning me and Sam into Nephilim, and helping Cas to admit his feelings, but also for our kid. And then I go and hurt another brother you care about. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. And Gabriel's."

"What if I wanted to see you perform Swan Lake?" came the tired voice of the Archangel as he cracked open one eye.

"Guess I'm squeezing my ass into a pair of tights then," Dean shot back, shaking his head.

"Good to know..."

"Don't strain yourself too hard coming up with my punishment, Gabe. Just let your sister and my brother take care of you, okay?" He nodded and closed his eyes again.

"Okay..." The Nephilim left the room then, shutting the door behind him. He headed to his room, seeing Cas sitting on the bed, seemingly just staring at his hands that were folded in his lap.

"Hey, I think everything's straightened out between me and your brother."

"Well, that's one thing off my mind." The Angel looked up, still with a bit of guilt on his face.

"What else is bugging you?" Dean leaned against the door frame, looking concerned.

"Lailah's collapse. Apparently she was... Fighting our child for control of her vessel. They wanted her to stop using her power to hold you back, but she wasn't sure if you were... Calm."

"She mention anything about seeing a darkness around me?" Cas tilted his head, eyes wide, and Dean sighed and shrugged. "Gabriel brought it up."

"You do have something... Else about you when you're angry."

"Is that because of the Mark?"

"I... I believe so, yes."

"Does that mean it could still corrupt me even though I don't have it anymore?" Now Cas shrugged, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Not that I know of, but we also don't know why it vanished."

"Lailah seems pretty convinced that it means this "Darkness" is free."

"She's probably right, but all I know is that it's not here. Now whether that means it will eventually come to our world, I don't know. But if it ever shows up, we're going to have a hell of a fight on our hands. Worse than we've been through so far."

"This thing is that powerful?"

"It's my father's "other half", so... Yes. Gabriel told me it took every Archangel and God to just lock it up. So either we need more Angels on our side, or we have to pray we never have to deal with it. Because I do not want to have our child go up against it." Dean shuddered at the thought, his mouth going dry for a moment.

"We're not gonna let anything happen to our kid, Cas. Be it this Darkness, God, or Lucifer, they will have to go through me to even have a shot."

"I think a lot more people than just you will be defending the children," the Angel brought up. "It's odd, but... The knowledge that I would lay down my life for beings I haven't even met yet is absolute. As if it could never be any other way."

"That's called being a parent." Cas furrowed his brow and frowned for a moment as he considered something, then blinked in sudden realization as he looked up.

"Sam."

"Sam?"

"Is that why you put him so far above yourself? Because you see yourself as both father and brother to him?" Dean's eyes went wide.

"I... Yeah, maybe. I had to watch over him since I was four, and... That was my job for so long. "Keep Sammy safe" was both a game and a way of life. I never... I mean, I've never had someone else understand that before."

"That makes so much sense now..." The Angel looked upset, hands balling into fists for a moment. "Dean, I'm sorry I didn't get it before."

"Cas, why are you apologizing?"

"Because I wouldn't have gotten in between you two if I'd known!"

"You haven't gotten between us; what the hell are you talking about?"

"I made you pledge your life to me. We bonded our essences. There's going to be a child, and-" The Nephilim grabbed Cas' shoulders, startling him.

"You didn't "make" me to anything. I chose to-" Dean snapped his mouth shut. "Fuck..."

"I mean yes, you absolutely have fucked, and hopefully of your own volition." There was silence for a moment as the Hunter did his best not to burst into laughter, and the Angel tilted his head in confusion. "That wasn't what you were trying to say, was it?"

"No, it wasn't. Sam and I were having an argument in the library, and he brought up choice. A lot. And how I needed to get my priorities straight before I became a dad. I think I just got what he was trying to say to me..."

"Which is?"

"That we both have to choose what happens in our lives. And maybe sometimes that means that we each make different choices and go down different paths."

"Sam will always be your brother, Dean. Nothing in Heaven or Hell could ever change that."

"I know. I guess it's just like watching your kid grow up: One day they'll leave the nest, and you have to let them fly on their own."

"To be fair, it's easier because Sam has wings. So will our child." There was a few minutes of silence as Dean looked his husband and bond-mate with a new appreciation.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Do you think I'll be a good dad?" Dean's voice cracked as emotion welled up in his chest, and tears once more ran down his cheeks. He looked so vulnerable, and the Angel's heart broke as he sat his husband on the bed, crouching in front of him and resting a hand on his cheek.

"I think you'll be a great dad. You have Bobby's example, and your experiences raising Sam, and... I'll be here too. I don't know the first thing about kids, but we'll learn together." He gently started wiping away Dean's tears, trying to hold back his own emotions. "Do you think I'll be a good father?"

"I mean, technically you're kind of "mom", but..." The tension was broken as they both started chuckling, and Cas sat down next to him. "But yeah, I think you'll be fantastic. And I hope our kid will know they can always come to us if something's wrong, even if I don't do feelings all that well."

"Why can't you?"

"My dad," came the quick reply. "He'd shut that shit down real quick. "Hunters can't show emotion. It'll get you killed", he'd always say." Castiel sighed heavily.

"We both need to get better about talking about stuff."

"You have your sister for that."

"Yes, but there are things that only involve the two of us that I don't want to burden her with. So you need to remember that I don't see you the way your father did."

"Cas... Of course I know that. It's just... It's hard to convince myself that no one's going to take me to task or poke at my fears. I mean, Gabe-"

"He won't. Not only because he knows what it feels like to have those emotions, but also because both Lailah and I have told him that other people's scars are off-limits. He agreed."

"Oh... Well, that makes me feel even more like an asshole..."

"Sometimes you are," Cas admitted with a small smile. "So am I. But that's why we need to work through things. Feelings can hurt, Dean. Keeping them bottled up can hurt more."

"Like you being too scared to tell me you love me?"

"Yes. I was so convinced that either you wouldn't feel the same, or that even if you did, it would be too dangerous to tell you."

"Why's that?" The Angel sighed again and raised an eyebrow at the Nephilim.

"You do very stupid things when people you care about are in danger, Dean. I couldn't take the risk that you'd get yourself killed trying to help me." He leaned into his husband, who put an arm around him. "That guilt would've ended me, I think."

"I'm not going anywhere, Cas. Promise. Besides, you have the same knee-jerk reaction to protect Lailah, so we're even. And in about six months, we're gonna have another person to worry about. A tiny, helpless... Angel baby."

"A Nephilim who will have two fathers, two aunts, and two uncles looking out for them." Now Dean sighed as he thought back to the conversation that had started all of this.

"I need to talk to Sam. Because if Gabriel is right... We might be adding a third aunt into this."

"My brother might be a chaotic free-spirit, but he's usually a good judge of people."

"What makes you say that?" Cas looked up and shrugged, a small smirk on his face.

"He said you might be rough around the edges, but he knows you love me. And that he's happy for me." Dean kissed Cas' cheek, then leaned over until their heads were resting against each other.

"I won't make any grand promises, but for your sake, and our kid's sake... I'll try."

"That's all anyone could ever ask of you. That's also all you can ask of yourself." They fell asleep not too long after, arms around each other.


The next morning, the smell of breakfast dragged both of them out of bed, only to find they were the last ones to arrive in the kitchen. Sam and Lailah were cooking, while Artemis, Gabriel, and Eileen were chatting at the table. "We late to the party?" Dean wondered. He smelled bacon, and pulled up a chair as food started being brought over. Along with the sizzling pork, there were pancakes, eggs, hash browns, toast, and enough jam to probably even give Gabriel diabetes.

"Nah, we were gonna come get you guys in a few minutes anyway," Sam replied. When everyone was seated and eating, he looked at Dean with a sad smile. "And I decided to send Eileen off with some decent food."

"Wait, what? Send her off?" Dean's eyes went wide as he looked at the woman, who smiled sheepishly and took a breath before saying:

"It's better if I go. I don't want to impose on your family." The disappointment and hurt that Dean saw flash through his brother's eyes was suddenly too much, and he shook his head.

"Don't go." Everyone else was now staring at him, and Dean knew he needed to choose his next words carefully. "I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome. I'm still not used to..." He extended his arms to the others. "All this. But if you want to stay, then stay. It's been a while since I could tease Sam about having a girlfriend."

"You tease him about me all the time," Gabriel brought up, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't count, Gabe. Unless you two bonded at-" Both Archangel and younger Winchester turned scarlet and yelled in unison:

"NO!" Lailah started giggling at the reaction, and Cas, Dean and Artemis joined in a moment later. Eileen looked at Sam in confusion, but he just shook his head and signed: "Later. Please."

"So yeah... That's my invitation, Eileen. You accepting?" She shrugged and met his gaze.

"You're sure about this? No take-backs allowed."

"I'm sure. Besides, Lailah and Artemis like having you around too."

"She adds a bit of class to the place," the Huntress teased. Eileen grinned broadly at Sam, who blushed all over again.

"Then I accept." Gabriel looked at Dean with approval.

"Guess you can teach an old Winchester new things."

"Hey, sometimes even I get things right." Cas started chuckling again, taking Dean's hand and squeezing it as he saw Lailah do the same to Artemis. Breakfast proceeded happily, with the Archangel spending most of it trying to get Sam and Eileen to brush hands, and snickering every time he saw them react like teenagers in love.

'I could get used to this,' he mused with a satisfied smile. 'This whole "family" thing. Was this what you wanted me to see, Cassiel? Because I think... I think I can do this, after all.'