R: Ultra Evolution
Book 25: The Edge of Madsness
20 minutes after the end of the WDC Championship duel
As the cameras flashed, Rio posed proudly with her WDC Championship belt, starting to muster a smile again, still completely in shock at having the title. The shoot was paused periodically for Sakura to wipe the blood off the new champion's mouth, her lip still not repaired after the duel. Eventually she looked around, and signalled for Phil to come into the shoot, which he initially refused, only for Blair to slowly push him into shot, and he relented, resulting in photos of the champion with her beloved manager just behind her.
As the shoot was winding down, Rio approached Maddy, who was quietly stood to one side on her phone. As she looked up to see the new champion stood over her, she quietly said 'Hi', as Rio stood next to her. 'You realise I've just lost a bunch of people money, don't you?' 'What, people who didn't expect you to win?' 'Oh… hadn't thought of that. I was talking about people taking bets on you being the next one of us to win this title. I swear everyone was saying that.'
Maddy laughed and replied 'Yeah, fat chance of that happening.' 'You know, I've never had the chance to duel you, not even in the Arena.' 'Can't say I'd even noticed.' 'So I just want you to know, I know you're dealing with some shit at the moment' 'You can say the word if you like.' 'It's not just that though, is it?' Rio told her. 'It's also the surgery, it's also recovering from everything else that happened, it's also getting yourself back on track mentally. You're doing awesome, and I was just going to tell you that I know you're dealing with a lot at the moment, but when you're ready to return, I'd love to defend this belt against you.'
Slightly blushing at the thought, Maddy moved away subtly. 'Thanks for the offer, but I… erm… look, I know you mean well, but I don't have the first fuckin' clue when I'm going to be up to it again. You just focus on yourself, and when I'm back up and running, maybe we can talk about a friendly duel in the arena? No cameras, no lights, just you and me having a little bit of fun for bragging rights.' Surprised, Rio smiled and nodded. 'Sounds like a plan.'
After this rather awkward conversation, the group started to leave the arena, with Rio having to stop frequently to sign more autographs and take photos with a whole legion of rabid fans. While this was happening though, one highly overeager attendee slipped through the club's defences, and grabbed Maddy from behind, desperate for a photo opportunity. As she looked over shocked though, Belle reached over to reassure her 'It's not him', putting her slightly more at ease.
While trying to take the unwanted photo, the overenthusiastic man with breath that stunk of beer and polo mints insistently asked Maddy 'Where were you at the last event?' 'At home' she grouchily replied. But then the questions started to turn. 'What happened when you were in Canada? I heard you all talking earlier, did Rhydian abuse you? I know he acts all nicey nicey but did he behave abusively to you, holding you captive, did he force you to do things?'
Before a shocked Maddy could answer, Freja intervened, telling him 'If you're with the media, no comment. If you're not with the media, you're way overstepping the line.' Maddy then turned and quietly stated 'We're not talking about that. And I'm not available for pictures right now, I don't feel well.' As the ignoring fan continued to try and squeeze towards her, Astrid quickly started pushing him away, even when he leant back into her to try and halt the momentum. 'I think you need to go home thank you, we're not talking about that today.'
As he continued to try and force his way back through, the increasingly rambunctious man stated 'You used to care about your fans Maddy. What happened to you, you're a fucking disgrace and your parents' Before he could finish, Belle snatched a nearby fire extinguisher, and swung it, smacking him in the face and barely missing Freja in the process. She then picked the dazed man up by his mullet, and started ramming his head into a wooden support beam over and over again, quickly drawing a large amount of blood, and only stopping when Freja pulled her away, and started pushing her around.
'What the hell has got into you? I know you're struggling, like we're all struggling, but this ain't the answer, the last thing we need is you going down for manslaughter because' 'Because what? Because it's happened before? Because I've got a reputation? I see how people still look at me, I see them cowering behind my back' 'Because we need you, we need all of us and that includes you.' 'Why would you care, you've moved on from me, because Lydia was right, I'm a waste of space who doesn't deserve you'
'Because I care about you Belle! I have a friend called Isobel Eden Draper, because I'm not going to' Before she could finish, Blair whispered down her ear 'I think everyone knows her full first name by now.' 'Fine then, Tinkerbelle Eden Draper, and she's far smarter than I'd ever be, she can read for a start, she's been through a million times more than I've ever been through, and she's the reason I'm the person I am now, because I was an absolute terror before I started spending time with her, an absolute shit. And we need to sort this situation out at some point because I don't want you thinking that I don't care about you.'
Holding back tears, Belle responded 'I betrayed all of you, I made you think that your best friend couldn't give a shit about you, I had the chance to explain but I didn't, I just ran off in the dead of night, hopped on a plane and made you believe that you were all alone.' 'Yeah, the issue was ME! Because of all the shit I've done in the past, people think I can't be trusted with sensitive stuff. And the truth is, I probably can't because I'm just 5ft nothing of a big mouth and no brains. I'm the issue here, not you. And teaming with Astrid here? That's because I'M the issue. Not you, you did what you had to, hell, I'd kill to have your guts.'
'But I can't get over the fact that I went from having nobody essentially to having both of you, I can't get over the fact that while you were gone, Astrid had to volunteer to be under Phil's control just to make me happy' 'It wasn't like that at all' Astrid briefly intervened, but Freja was in full flow. 'I couldn't get over the fact that someone I thought we were never going to get back and someone who I thought had betrayed me, betrayed all of us, just came back and told us that she was on our side all along. And that's my fault. But you can't keep doing this to yourself, because otherwise I am just gonna walk away because I can't be dealing with all this shit by myself because everyone who wants to support me has an ulterior motive.'
Freja then stormed off. 'Where are you going?' Astrid shouted after her, but she snapped back 'I'm going to the plane to be alone!' As this happened, Belle went to run after her, but Maddy held her back. 'I need to talk to her.' 'You need to give her space. I might not remember a lot of stuff still, my mind's still broken, but I remember that Freja gets like this, she just needs time to simmer. Everything will be ok.'
Appreciating the words, Belle returned them. 'Same to you, things will all be ok for you.' 'I'm not so sure about that…' Maddy mumbled, but kept smiling regardless. As they continued walking to the plane, Astrid came over to check on them both. 'You two alright after all that?' Immediately, Maddy told her 'You know you don't need to keep checking on us don't you?' 'Well considering your arm has more craters than Mars, I think I do.'
'I keep telling you it's fine, I just cut really easily at the moment, it's mainly from shaving 'cause someone used my razor while I'm gone. Like you wouldn't even recognise it if I wasn't so thin, but you just… I swear you need to stop hovering over me 'trid, I know you're trying to look after me' 'Someone has to, because you're not, you're refusing help, you're still barely eating, and you won't open up. But no, you've got to be secretive even though we know what you've been through. We can't help you if you won't let us.' Flashing her eyes, Maddy responded 'What if you can't help? Some things can't be helped.'
This killed the entire atmosphere between them, but Rio, oblivious to all of this, delightedly walked up to the plane, where Jack saw the title gleaming on her shoulder. 'The girl did it!' he celebrated, and reached out to give the new champion a hug. 'I thought you were watching?' 'Damn airport wifi broke didn't it? I saw Jade and Brooke, and it was after that when the internet broke, they have no idea why obviously.'
Before Jack could rant anymore about the airport's internet connection, Rio's phone started ringing in a cheerful chip-tune. 'Sorry about this. Hello?' 'Rio, you did it! What did I tell you - take the opportunity.' 'Thanks Drake, you were right.' 'You still had to get the job done.' 'Were you watching?' 'Me and Alex were watching, we've been over at Blair's Dad's place for the week, and we all watched it together with some beers and pizza.'
There was then a brief noise, before Blair's father took the phone. 'So do we have to refer to you as "Champ" now?' 'No, not at all, I'm still just Rio, just a little heavier now, you wouldn't believe what these things weigh.' 'Look heavy enough, you'll have to bring it over here at some point so I can put some real gems in it for you.' 'That's kind of you, but the way you're talking, I think you're the real gems.'
Blair then walked up to her, and took Rio's phone. 'Hey, give it back!' 'Only when you stop flirting with my Dad.' She then got on the phone herself. 'Sorry about her Dad, I'll put her back in her box later. How are you anyway?' 'Not bad considering, just keeping going, how about you, how are you and Jade doing?' 'Yeah we're good thanks, just been sorting out the final details to finalise adopting Ally, but you've probably been given the lowdown already.'
'Actually America doesn't live here anymore, after the funeral I gave her six weeks to find somewhere to live, I can't allow myself to accept what she did. She's now living with her Mum and Savannah in Battle Creek, but that's just until Savv gets enough money to get her own place, she's talking about getting a job in Baltimore.' 'And America?' 'If she starts standing on her own two feet, I'll support her, but she doesn't get to do what she did and get away with it for free.'
As Rio started looking at her expectantly, Blair wrapped the call up. 'Gotta go in a minute because I'm getting on the plane back to England, but nice to hear from you all.' 'You too, and you make sure your friend gets all the credit she deserves, she earned this. And also make sure you're getting everything sorted with little miss, she deserves you and you deserve all the love she gives you. Hope to see you soon.' 'And you Dad, thank you. Love you.' 'Love you too Blair.'
This conversation appeared to have warmed the hearts of everyone, but on the plane home, it was clear that not everyone was feeling the love. As Freja lay with her head on the side window of the plane, Astrid sat next to her, and took her earphones out, telling her 'She'll come round.' 'Will she though? She's off her meds, I don't know what she's going to do next, that fucking… disease has control of her. And then we've got all the stuff with Maddy cutting herself.'
'Don't worry about that. Tell you what, you focus on the stuff with Belle, I'll focus on Maddy's actions for now.' 'K… but what are you going to do?' With a stern and strong look, Astrid replied 'I'm going to confront her over it. In a place and at a time when it's just the two of us, where there's no distractions, and where she can't change the subject. We need answers and we need her to see what she's doing.'
Two days later
Rio was busy washing a pan after cooking lunch when Blair burst into the house again. 'If you're after money I don't have any, please start by robbing Jade's room, she doesn't have anything interesting.' She then turned around to find Blair standing in the middle of the living room, holding a magazine in her hand. 'Wait, did you… finally remember that we have a newsagents just across the road? I told you that you didn't have to walk half an hour every time we need milk.'
Blair laughed, before responding 'No, silly. It's the latest Duellist Weekly.' Excited, Rio asked 'Am I on the front cover?' Her best friend shook her head, and responded 'You're not on the front cover… you ARE the front cover.' She then turned the magazine around to reveal that the cover was a full picture of rio stood above Rhydian, holding the title belt, with the headline "From Death to Glory", and at the bottom, the subheading "How Rio Kastle defied all the odds to dethrone the unbeatable champion".
Seeing the cover, Rio's eyes lit up, and she started jumping around along with Blair, celebrating. They then turned the cover, to find a two page spread on pages 3 and 4 of Rio's backstory and accomplishments, as well as talking in detail about her medical issues, and how she had fought back from them. The top corner of page 5 also listed every single opponent Rhydian had defeated across his two title reigns, and the spread concluded with a run down of the duel itself and the fans' reaction, as well as pictures of Rio signing autographs afterwards.
Looking through the magazine, she was thrilled to see the coverage, but she couldn't help but feel something was missing. 'There's no pictures of you here B.' 'Yeah, because you won the title' she laughed in response, but then saw the disappointed look on Rio's face. So she flicked through the magazine, desperate to find a distraction for her, and on the very back cover, there was a full blown up picture of Blair, Jade and Rio together after International Panic.
Before Rio could even react to this photo though, her phone started ringing. 'Hello? Yeah, I'm available today, what time would you… Yeah, I can do that, sure. Ok, thanks, bye.' As Blair looked quizzically at her, Rio explained 'It was KLIX, I used to listen to their news programs a lot when I lived in Idaho. They want to talk to me about my title win in two days, they're going to do it via a video call.' Blair smiled, and tapped her on the back, telling her 'You got this.'
At Ashworth Brook Farm
Maddy was at home preparing for her surgery by spending some much needed time with Skylar. As she prepared his food, she smiled, and told him 'It's nice I was trusted to spend time with you, I don't even remember the last time I got to be alone with you. Which means it was probably before everything went down… before everything got super shit.' She then looked around, and seeing him smile, looked away again while quietly stating 'Sorry, shouldn't use that language in front of you.'
Just as she had prepared the meal for her baby brother though, her thoughts were disrupted by a key turning in the lock of the oaken door, and before she could react, Astrid strolled in, smiling as she saw her best friend stood in front of her, while Maddy just looked surprised and confused. 'Thought you were training in the arena today?' 'Yeah, I'm supposed to be, but Fre's not really feeling it, so I thought I'd come and spend some time with you.'
She then held up a clear plastic bag. 'Brought food as well, I didn't know if you'd had chance to do anything so I stopped off to buy fish and chips for us.' As Maddy turned to feed her brother, she responded 'More like you wanted to see me eat something because the last time you did was the day I came back. If you're trying to look after me, you can just say you're trying to look after me, I get it.'
Rolling her eyes, Astrid placed the bag down and responded 'Ok, maybe I'm trying to look after you just a tiny bit… but you're barely eating, you're losing weight like hell, believe me when I tell you that I'm only doing this because I'm concerned.' Maddy turned to her though, and calmly smiled, telling her 'I get it, and I'm fine, I'm just readjusting, and once I got my surgery over and done with, things will start to get better.'
'I hope you're right, because I hate seeing you like this.' 'Like what - not obese?' Maddy returned in a strange matter-of-fact manner that creeped Astrid out significantly. 'Upset, struggling, I dunno… just not yourself. I know what you've been through' 'If this is the whole "R" word, I don't really want to talk about it, I didn't really want to tell Blair but it just came out because she pressed the right buttons. And I certainly don't want you seeking vengeance for me or anything, the last thing we need is one of you getting hurt as well.'
Confident and full of anger still, Astrid declared 'Trust me, if he goes anywhere near me, I'm going to cut his peepee off and shove it down his throat. And if you think that's bad, you've not heard Belle or Freja talk about him yet.' 'They getting on yet?' 'Not quite yet, I think my idea to give them some separation might have done more harm than good. Nice diversion by the way, really clever.' 'Thanks, thought it would. No offence, but I'm just not keen on talking about that whole stuff. In fact I'd rather people forget it happened.'
Not able to bite her tongue any longer, as Maddy sat down beside the cot, Astrid finally got to the subject on her mind as she asked 'Do you want people to forget the marks on your arm as well? Or maybe the fact that you slit your wrists yesterday? Maddy, I know you're hurting yourself, Belle even saw your bank card, it's stained with blood. And I just don't understand it, you escaped the situation, why are you doing this to yourself?'
Still speaking in a factual manner, and gently twisting strands of her hair, Maddy told her 'When I'm doing nothing, I miss the pain, I just feel empty. When I was there, Lukas, he beat me every day, and it hurt, but I felt nothing, it sounds stupid but I didn't. What I'm doing is nothing compared to what he would do to me, and as I say, I'm just readjusting, and once I have, everything will be fine, but I need the pain, I need to feel something.'
Utterly shocked at the way her friend was talking, Astrid started crying while talking about the situation. 'You're destroying your body though! Surely there's better ways to feel something?' 'You don't seem to be understanding though.' 'What's there to understand about you cutting yourself? What's there to understand about you being traumatised from being beaten up by a thug while you were essentially defenceless because that's what Rhydian wanted, a defenceless'
Finally, Maddy spoke up, albeit only slightly. 'I have to punish myself. I have to feel something and that thing has to be me being punished. Every slice hurts like hell, and that means it's doing its job. Because I won't be convicted of what I did to Dan, I won't be locked in a cell like the killer I am, I won't be made to suffer like he was, feel the pain which he did. Nobody else is going to punish me because they treat me like I'm the victim, so I've got to punish myself.'
She then took her shirt off to reveal a horrific sight; scratches all over her arms and back, some stretching up to her shoulders, and some on her upper legs also, most light, but some deep red and black, painful and brutal looking. But she looked at them with total indifference, as a tearful Astrid held the vestiges of vomit back in her mouth, as Maddy calmly talked through her wounds. As she would point to one at the top of her bicep, she claimed 'This one was while we were in Switzerland, you know when I told you I was going to get a selfie in front of the sunset? I was actually finding a small hedge and slicing behind it. And this one on my leg? That was on the train toilet on the way to the cemetery. I'd go through the rest but I don't want to put you through it, you don't deserve that.'
'Nor do you!' Astrid snapped back. 'None of this is or has ever been your fault, what you did while you were a glorified doll is nothing to do with you' 'I walked into the trap though. I let it all happen. He just set the bait and lured me in, everything that happened was my fault. My own Dad died at my hands, he created me and I thanked him by murdering him in cold blood. I remember how I felt nothing for him, I could have killed them both and it wouldn't have meant anything to him. I attacked those thugs from the underworld, I nearly killed them, and I felt nothing.'
'But the thing is, cutting isn't doing it anymore, because I just touch my skin and I don't feel anything. That's why I slit my wrists, I knew I needed to do something more dramatic. And I feel like it's helped to punish me, because it really scared me. So now, I don't need to do that again. As every scratch heals, I'll make it again, until I've been punished for what I did. Because that's what I have to do. It's nobody else's fault, nobody else is to blame, this is all on me, and only the world can decide when I've served my sentence.'
Maddy then left calmly to get plates out for their lunch, and Astrid took the opportunity to disappear out of the house, hiding just far enough away to evade Maddy's hearing. After scrambling with her phone, a relatively unfamiliar device for the proud Scandinavian to be utilising, for several minutes, she managed to find the number she was after.
'Jana, we have problems, I spoke to her about the cutting and she admitted it.' 'And that's a problem?' 'No that's just it, she freely admitted it, she didn't show any concern, it was like she was talking about having chicken for lunch, just casual.' A concerned pause then followed k and Jana stated 'They broke her, they actually broke her. I'll send you the number for the retreat, see if you can get her in sooner.' 'Agreed.'
At the base
Freja was trying her hand at baking a cake to congratulate Rio on her title win, but was having trouble reading the recipe. 'So it's 220g of flour… or it could be 250g… damn it, I knew I should have got my eyes tested while I had the chance the other week, they might have found the issue. Not gonna lie, kind of wish I had someone here with me right now, even if it's just to read shit out to me.'
As she sighed, Lydia patted her on the back from behind, making Freja spill flour all over the floor, and angering her. 'Thanks Lyds, now I've got to spend time I don't have to go and buy another bag of this stuff, this was supposed to be in the oven like 15 minutes ago. What do you even want?' 'It's nice to see you too' Lydia moaned, miffed at the way she had been greeted. Her mood soon rebounded though, as she shared some news.
'Got something to tell you, been in contact with Mum, she wants us to move to Ibiza with her! We can finally get away from all of this!' 'Wow' Freja responded sarcastically 'Good for her, what does she want, a medal?' 'I thought you'd be excited though?' 'Why would I, she abandoned us the moment we turned 16. Like instead of watching us open presents or cutting birthday cake, she was booking plane tickets after hooking up with some bartender called Sergio. Why would I want to even see her again?'
'You're not seeing the big picture though' Lydia protested, but her sister wouldn't even consider the prospect. 'What's there to see?' 'It's our chance to finally get away from all this stress and misery, a chance to get away from the bad influences, from your life being dominated by everybody else, a chance for us to just be sisters doing it for themselves again, the McKinna clan tearing up a storm.'
'You're not understanding though' Freja responded. 'This is my life, and I like this life. A life where I'm with people who care about me, an exciting life that's different, and a life where I can go and do things, and I'm not just the add-on extra. This is all the life I want, and I don't understand why you can't see that. My choice was this, I'm happy here' 'You're not though, you're being manipulated, why can't you see?'
'Well if I'm being manipulated then I want to be manipulated, because I'm being manipulated by someone who respects me, and someone who wants me to make something of myself. Right now, my priority isn't you, it isn't all this shit, it's Maddy, and if you don't stop trying to get in my ear about moving halfway across the world, then we're going to have issues. It isn't happening, and that's where the conversation is done.' Freja walked away towards the door, as Lydia looked on in shock. 'What is up with her?'
After waiting a few seconds, Lydia went to follow her sister, only to hear Astrid on the phone to Maddy. 'Look, I already told you, I'm just readjusting, it's no big deal.' Still completely bemused at her friend's attitude, Astrid told her 'It's more than a slightly big deal, and before you say anything, Belle already knows, because I had to tell somebody.' 'I thought that's why you told Blair.' 'No, Blair just happened to walk in on our conversation. I just want you to stop hurting yourself.' 'And I told you, it doesn't hurt. Not even slightly, in fact it's comforting if anything.'
Shaking her head, Astrid asked 'What happened Maddy? I remember who you used to be, why won't you just try to get back to that?' This was when Maddy gave a response which stung Astrid deep. 'What do you think I'm trying to do? I want to be the confident old me, but I can't. What - you think I want to do this? I'm self-harming because I want to feel something, something that makes me feel like me again. Because right now, I'm not, I'm just some shadow of a person, I don't feel human. I have to punish myself, and then when I start feeling like me again, that's when I know that he's forgiven me. And if you're not willing to watch, then maybe you should stay away and let me do it.'
No sooner had the conversation ended than Lydia was swarming around the Norwegian. 'Maddy's in trouble, isn't she?' Conflicted, Astrid pushed her away. 'It's nothing to do with you.' So Lydia pushed her back, telling her with certainty 'Maddy was my friend way before yours you know, stop being a gatekeeper and just tell me what's going on.' 'I'm not having a contest of who's Maddy's friend, but you weren't exactly supportive while she was gone, were you? I have to deal with something.' Astrid stormed straight out of the base, as Lydia grew increasingly frustrated.
At Ashworth Brook Farm
Having returned home from doing some shopping, Hannah was about to walk into the living room, when she heard some gentle singing coming from inside there. So as she creaked the door open, she quietly called Phil over, signalling straight to him, and seeing the urgency in her body language, he left the remaining bags in the car, and ran over to her. 'What's up?' She looked daggers at him, and whispered 'Just listen.'
As they watched on, they saw Maddy cradelling Sky, while singing to him. 'Hush little baby, don't say a word, yer big sister's gonna buy you a mockingbird. If that bird don't sing, imma buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring is brass, imma buy you a looking glass, and if that glass gets broke then imma buy you a wolf. If that wolf doesn't have four paws then imma buy you a horse. And if that horse can't pull then I'll buy you a bull, and if that bull doesn't charge then imma buy you a barge, and if that barge turn 'round, you'll be the sweetest face in town. Because we love you little Sky, all the way to the moon and back.'
As Sky slept peacefully, Maddy laid him down gently in his tiny baby blanket and sat down on a stool next to him, gently stroking his pure skin, and tearing up as she did. 'I've done so much awful stuff in my entire life, I've done so much awful stuff recently, but the one good thing I've done, the one thing I can actually be proud of, is being your big sister. It's the one good thing I've done in my life, and… that's all I've got. And one day, I want to have one of my own, so I can teach them to be as great as you, and not be as wicked and evil as I am.'
As they listened to this, Phil couldn't bear it anymore and walked away, his head buried in his hand. So Hannah rushed over to him, and as soon as she approached, he said 'She needs help. Proper, real help, not a little chat, not some fresh air, proper help. She's actually broken mentally, and when I get my hands around Rhydian's scrawny little chicken neck' Before he could finish, Hannah ran across him to calm him down. 'Leave that to the girls, they know what they're doing. You need to focus on here being stable, so she can get what she needs.'
At Dan's grave
Astrid was laying a single rose in front of the grave, when Jana arrived, taking her hood down to reveal her stacked hair. 'I got the message, what's up?' 'I wasn't going to say anything, but she's not listening to reason, and… I think she's really broken this time. There's no easy way to tell you, but Maddy's… god, I can't even say it myself. Take a deep breath Astrid' she mumbled, before spitting out 'Maddy's started self harming, the file you were sent by Blair earlier has pictures of it.'
'Wait… that was Maddy?' Jana responded in horror and shock, her heart racing as she did. 'But… why? Wait… that's why you wanted to meet me here isn't it?' She nodded in return, and explained the situation. 'So Maddy's been self harming, I spoke to her earlier and she said it's because she misses the pain or something like that, and how she's just readjusting, but… something's still not right with it.'
After a tense moment of silence, the wind rushing past them, Jana addressed why she wanted to see Astrid. 'I went to the retreat earlier, just to check it out.' 'And how was it?' 'Everything that was advertised and more. Wide open spaces, they can dorm on their own or in pairs, loads of greenery, and the staff there are really good, I spoke to one of them and they seem really understanding, they've dealt with loads.'
'Yeah, but have they dealt with Maddy? She's loads on her own, and she has baggage.' 'Trust me, it's a great place for her to just go and get away from everything. But it's up to you, you know her better than I do now. If you need to go down there, I totally understand it.' 'No, I trust you, it's just… I know it's for the best to get her life back on track, but I don't want to lose her again, I've just got her back, and we just need to get past this self harming stuff. But I know she needs something like this so she can learn to forgive herself and heal.' 'So it's a yeah?' After sighing, Astrid nodded and stated 'It's a… I need to talk to someone else about it first. I'm being selfish, and it's not just about me.'
At the base
Rio arrived back at the base after a hectic morning, clearly exhausted, as Denny approached her. 'You look sick' he mumbled, but she was quick to downplay the issues. 'I'm fine, just… I've spent all morning being contacted for interviews and appearances, I think I'm opening about 8 different malls in the Pacific Northwest now, I just don't think I realised how hard work it would be because when Phil was champion he didn't have to do any of this.'
Thinking, the quietly spoken Kiwi came up with a solution, as his voice raised slightly. 'You should ring him, tell him that you're struggling and see if he can suggest anything. He is your manager after all, I'm sure he can spare some time.' Nodding, Rio smiled at him. 'Thanks Denny.' 'I'm happy to.' As Rio went to leave though, he plucked up the courage to ask a direct question. 'Rio, do you know if Ally's coming round here at some point?' 'Yeah, Blair's meeting with a lawyer, so Jade's going to be coming around later and I'm pretty sure she'll… you know what, I'll quickly ring her.'
So Rio promptly got her phone out, and rung up. 'Hey champy, how's life being the best?' 'It's ok… look I'm just ringing because I'm with Denny, and he was asking if Ally's going to be around here at some point?' 'Yeah, we're gonna be about an hour, because she insisted on going to see the solicitor with Blair. Oh, and you can tell him that she's been looking forward to duelling him all week, she won't stop going on about how she's finally going to beat him.'
Hearing this, Denny laughed, and confidently stated 'It's going to be 6-0 afterwards.' Laughing herself, Jade told him 'You're going to have to sort that one out between yourselves, Blair's telling me off for being too loud on the phone in a solicitor's office. I'll see you guys later, ok?' 'Ok, be safe.' 'I will be if I get off the phone soon. Love you champy.' 'Will you stop calling me that?' 'Never!' Jade declared before immediately hanging up.
As Denny went to the arena to get some practice in, Rio went to the office, and immediately got back on the phone. 'Hello, this is Phillip Robinson, if this is business enquiries then please contact the shop's phone.' 'Hey it's Rio.' 'Rio… why don't I have your number saved?' 'I'm using the President's office phone because mine is low on battery. Look, I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk?' 'I can make time, certainly. What's up?'
'It's just that I've been on and off the phone all day because I keep being contacted for interviews and appearances and opening places and all that shit, and I just can't keep up, so I was… kind of hoping for some advice?' 'Well first of all' he mused 'Give them my phone number. I'm your manager, so strictly speaking all these things should be going through me, they don't have the right to be contacting you.'
'Right, thanks.' 'Secondly, the reason I didn't do all of these things when I was champion is because I'm really good at saying "No" to people. So what you should do is forward everyone to me, and we'll have a catch up every day just to let you know what I've been contacted about for you.' 'Thanks' 'Don't thank me, this is my job and your career. You need to focus on being champion and everything else goes through you and is decided by you' he insisted. 'So if you can make… say 20 minutes every day after business hours?'
'But don't you have a business to run yourself?' Rio wondered, but he was quick to lower her concerns. 'I've got Meghan and I've got Hannah, and they can both manage things if I need them to, I'm sure Astrid wouldn't complain to seeing Sky even more, she loves looking after him like almost nothing else. Also Maddy's really good with him, and it might do her some good to have alone time with him. So we're agreed that you'll pass everything on to me?' She smiled, as she replied 'Thank you.' 'Not an issue. Now you let your phone run out, and spend the rest of the evening reading that magazine.' 'Will do, thanks. Bye.' 'Bye.'
The next morning
Having taken the time to reflect on everything that had been said, Rio had invited Jade over to help her plan out her days. As the new champion was busy contacting people, her long-time friend was looking through the diary, trying to highlight different times of the day. 'Hi, this is Rio Kastle' the usual patter went. 'I appreciate your contacting of me for an interview yesterday, however all bookings for me must go through my manager Phil, his phone number is 08989993399. If you ring him, he will be able to advise you on my availability. Thank you for your understanding.'
While this was going on, Jade was getting her attention. 'So I've highlighted Mondays 1:30-3:30, Tuesdays 08:00-13:00, all day Wednesday, 11:30-1:30 Thursdays, and you shut down for the weekend at 14:00 on Fridays. That is your "Rio time", so we can say no to any bookings then unless you're really keen on doing it. That alright with you?' 'Yeah, that's epic, thanks.' 'You're welcome, you know I'll do this for you. Did Phil say which bookings he's going to accept for you?'
'Just said we'll meet every night to go through the requests he's had, I think he's filtering out some of the chaff, and then anything else he'll just discuss with me.' 'That's fantastic, it's a good job you've got him.' 'I know, even before I was champion he's just been so helpful, been there for me every step of the way. I know he sometimes seems like a grump but he's really great actually.' 'He's done wonders for you certainly. I think you're going to be a great champion you know.' 'Thanks, I hope so.'
Near Newcastle General Hospital
The day had come for Maddy's surgery, and she wasn't alone, as Freja and Astrid had both accompanied her in the taxi to the hospital, albeit not for the same reasons. 'I can't believe they want me to model winter coats in fuckin' May, I didn't sign up to boil to death.' 'Coming from the person who was complimenting their use of air conditioning jut yesterday' Astrid responded, a fact which even Freja had to confess to.
'Yeah, I know, it's just' 'You want to be at the hospital, we get it. Which is all the more reason for you to get on with the job, because if you get done in there quick, you might be back at the hospital before she goes in.' Freja was still concerned though, not least as by now she was fully aware of what Maddy had been doing behind closed doors. 'You sure you're going to be ok with her? I can always postpone this.'
It wasn't Astrid who reassured her though, but Maddy, by handing her stained bank card to the twin. 'You can turn out my pockets if you like. I told you both this morning, I can't help how I'm feeling, but I can help what I'm doin'. So I'm going to stop cutting, like I promised you, and if I'm still feeling like this after a couple of weeks, I'm going to try and seek some help. I just want to see if I can do it with your help first, because… well because I wouldn't have made it this far without you both.'
After a momentary silence, Freja mournfully stated 'You know, I used to find it really creepy when you were soppy and affectionate like that.' 'Why?' 'Because you're always on fire, you're the passionate and lively one, you don't live in black and white, you live in shades of red and orange, you're the electrical buzz of us all.' Maddy responded with a laugh, and with her accent showing through more than at any time since her return, responded 'That's something coming from the unpredictable wildcard, the one who worked as a dominatrix just for laughs.'
'I was hoping nobody would bring that up again…' Freja murmured, leading to Maddy reaching over to her. 'I didn't mean to offend you, I'm just saying that I always thought you were the life of the party, and Astrid was the sensible one keeping us together. I wasn't having a go or anything.' 'I know, just… I'm trying to get away from being that person.' 'And you're not that person anymore' Astrid told her cheerily. 'You're now an absolute pitbull, but you're a grown up one.'
'I used to hate it when you were both like this… you were like this Maddy, but now, I missed you when you were gone. I just kept thinking of all the times I made your life difficult, and how that pushed you to make the decisions you did' 'It didn't, I can tell you that much' she responded honestly. 'I don't remember why I made the decisions I did, I don't remember if I even had a reason or if I was just doing what I felt I had to, but it wasn't because of you, because I always knew you'd find yourself. You just needed a reason, and I think you found that with Belle, because she was also trying to find herself.' 'And now I'm pushing her away' 'You need time, you both need time.'
As they got out of the taxi, Freja had a question for Maddy. 'I totally understand if you don't want to answer this, but… with being under Rhydian and Akiza, what do you remember?' With a tortured gaze in her eyes, she simply responded 'Everything. And nothing. It's hard to explain, I feel like there's so much I can remember, but I just can't quite find it, like there's this jigsaw in my mind, I can see all the pieces, but they're not making a picture. I just want to get away from all of that honestly, I'm trying not to think about it but it almost hurts more because I've got nothing else to think about. Anyway, you've got this shoot to get to, don't want to be late back now.' 'Ok ok I'm going.'
As Maddy walked off to sign in at the hospital, Astrid and Freja watched her for a minute. 'Freja, I know you really missed her' 'We both did' 'But me and Jana have been talking, and she's found a really great place as a mental retreat for her, we're hoping to get her in there soon, but I wanted to check it was ok with you.' 'What - her going away again?' 'Yeah. I wanted to discuss it with you first, because you know her even more than I do. It's this place with lots of outdoor space, they've got staff who are trained to deal with people who have been through all sorts, and with her self-harming and talking about wanting to get away from the memories'
'She's got too many demons here.' 'Right now. Hopefully she just goes for a few days and starts to improve.' 'I mean I don't want to lose her again, but if she stays then that's what's going to happen. I'd say talk to her and see if she's up for it, then if she is, then go ahead. Just to check, it's not one of these psychotic places that stops you contacting the outside world is it?' 'No, it's not prison' Astrid laughed, while hugging Freja. But there was another revelation that Freja was hiding.
'I was talking to Lydia earlier, and she's managed to get in contact with our Mum.' 'Wow, didn't expect that… what did she want?' 'She wants us to move to Ibiza permanently' she responded while smiling awkwardly, as Astrid looked crushed by the news. 'But I told them no. I'd love to live somewhere nice and warm like that, party on the beach every day, but… I wouldn't have you guys around. And that's what matters most to me, because you're my family. When Maddy was gone, it was like having part of me ripped out. I'm not leaving you guys, not now, not ever.'
Astrid didn't speak, but clutched Freja in a huge hug until the sub-5ft woman tapped on her much larger friend's hand. 'Can I breathe yet?' Loosening her grip, Astrid looked embarrassed. 'Oops… sorry.' 'It's fine, I'm going to go now before you choke me out' Freja stated while winking, telling Astrid that she wasn't annoyed without having to say a word, proving their friendship and increasingly deep bond.
As Astrid walked into the hospital, Maddy was just having her vital signs read by the attending doctor. 'These all look fine, your heart rate is a little elevated but nothing I wouldn't expect given what you're here for. Your blood pressure is also on the high side, but it says in your notes that you have a history of high blood pressure?' 'Yes.' 'And it says that a couple of months ago you had a Kidney transplant, have you been keeping up with the anti-rejection medicine?' 'Yeah, I have.' 'Excellent, I'll just see if the surgeon is available to speak with you.'
While the nurse was looking for the surgeon, Maddy looked at Astrid. 'What were you talking to Freja about?' 'She wanted to talk to me, she was saying that Lydia wants them to move to Ibiza with their mother, but she doesn't want to. That's all, she was discussing it with me and I told her to do what she thought was best. So I think she's going to tell Lydia no later.' Maddy smiled, and told her 'I'm glad she did. Still up for movie night on Friday?' Delighted she had remembered, Astrid nodded furiously, as the surgeon walked in, a baby blue face mask over his aged face.
'Maddy Smith is it?' 'Yep.' 'And this is…' 'Astrid, she's one of my friends, she said she'd keep me company until I go in.' 'Ok, that's fine. I'm just here to run you through your upcoming surgery today, it's fairly straightforward, so your surgery is at 6:45pm, that is in around six and a quarter hours, we leave it that time so if you need to have something to eat you can do beforehand, because we don't allow patients to eat for six hours before the surgery.'
As the rather gruff medical professional continued running through what she was allowed to drink, Maddy looked over at Astrid nervously, with an equally nervous Astrid putting on a brave face to provide moral support and reassurance. 'When you go in, we will be putting you under a general anaesthetic, and then we will make a small incision in your midsection over the fracture site, whereby we will be inserting titanium rods or plates to stabilise the fracture, and then you will be sewn back up, and all being well you should be able to go home at some point tomorrow. Any questions?'
Maddy shook her head, clearly having been incredibly unnerved by the rather thorough description of her upcoming procedure. As the surgeon left, she quietly stated 'Astrid… I'm scared.' 'You're going to be fine. Look, I'm going to be here with you until you go in, and when you wake up afterwards, I'm going to be here again. And while you're in surgery, I'm going to be in the waiting room. You're never going to be alone here if that's what you're scared about.'
As Maddy leant over the side of the bed to hug her, Astrid remembered something. 'Oh yeah, I brought that mafia book you were really keen on, I thought it might help pass the time while you're in here.' 'Thanks 'trid' her friend responded, but it was clear she was still ill at ease. 'Just focus on how much better you'll feel after the surgery.' 'That what you did when you were here?' Astrid laughed, and shook her head, admitting 'No, I cried like a baby for 8 hours. Trust me, you don't want to do that.' As they laughed together, Maddy opened her book and tried to relax.
Two hours later
Having conclusively failed to relax at all, Maddy was trying to distract herself with her phone when Astrid came back from getting her a bottle of water, carrying not just the drink but Maddy's tablet as well. 'Hey, got your drink for you.' 'Thanks, I owe you a couple of quid now' 'No you don't, stop trying to pay me back for everything, I literally don't want it. Oh by the way, there's someone on here (gesturing to the tablet) who wanted a word with you.'
Nervously, Maddy opened up the tablet, and saw Sakura on a video call on the other end. 'Hey missy.' 'Hey Sak, what's up?' 'I asked Astrid how things were going and she told me that the surgeon had unnerved you a little? Want to talk about it?' 'Sure, it's just going on about what he's going to be doing, and the idea of being asleep while he's doing it, it's all just really… doing things to me. Because when I was there, I felt like I was permanently half asleep, so'
'It's just bringing back bad memories.' 'Something like that.' 'Well that's ok, it's totally understandable that you feel that way, and it's natural to be fearful before surgery anyway. Has Astrid told you how she kept saying she just wanted her Mum before she went in?' 'No, she said she spent the entire time crying.' 'I mean that as well, but it's only right that you're concerned about it.'
'But I wanted to call to reassure you that everything will be fine, the procedure all being well shouldn't take much more than an hour, and it's literally just opening you up, screwing some metal into your ribs to keep them stable while they're fixing themselves naturally, and then they'll get you back together. Nothing else is going to happen, and it's a really simple thing that they'll have done thousands of times before. I know the wait is nerve-wracking, but if you need to talk, I'm just a text or another call away, and before you know it, it will be time, and you'll wonder what you were concerned about afterwards.'
As Maddy smiled at her, Sakura had a sudden thought. 'Actually I'll tell you what you can do to pass some time. I need a new camera for here, and I was thinking of a more portable one than my current one, so I can better take pictures of people's issues. Would you be able to list down the pros and cons of some cameras that are preferably under about £400 that would be really good for taking sort of deep image kind of pictures, they don't need to be fancy as long as they can take quality pictures in all kinds of light.'
Nodding, she agreed. 'Sure, I can already think of a few that would be viable, so you want me to write them down for you?' 'Please, can be on paper or your phone or whatever, just so I can work out which one I actually want and then go and get it. I know you're basically the oracle when it comes to cameras, and it might just give you something to do for a little while.' 'Whatever you want' she responded, keen to get going. 'Thanks Maddy, I'll see you tomorrow when visiting hours are back open.' 'Sure, thanks.' As the call ended, Maddy started writing down the names of various cameras, as Astrid watched her in awe.
1hr 55min pre-Surgery
Astrid and Maddy were both preoccupied drawing some of the cameras they had found, when one of the staff nurses walked up to them. 'Maddy is it?' She looked up and nodded in surprise, as the nurse smiled. 'I've got a visitor here for you, she apparently texted you half an hour ago and isn't so impressed that you haven't responded.' Maddy then looked over to the doors, and saw Freja walking in, wearing a significant amount of mascara and foundation, while carrying a large plastic bag with her.
As she hastened over, she reached out immediately and hugged Maddy tenderly. 'Hey, what you both up to?' 'Sakura wanted a new camera for the base, so she asked me to try and identify one for her while I'm stuck here, and we just thought we'd draw images of them so she knows what she's looking for.' Taking a look at the drawings, Freja remarked 'To be honest, all cameras kind of look the same to me.'
That's when Maddy revealed her knowledge. 'You'd think that, but they're all slightly different. See this ClearPix 8110 for example, it's got a chrome mounted dial on the top and it's got four different lens configurations. And the West 42L has the flash photography toggle well away form the lens release toggle, so you're not in danger of trying to turn flash off, and accidentally dismantling the camera. Tbf 3D drawing's never been my strongest suit.'
'You kidding?' Freja responded aghast. 'It looks incredible, like I used to think I was alright at drawing but this is a totally different level. I just can't believe that you don't see how good you are, you should give yourself credit now and again. Yours are alright too Astrid' she then joked, as Astrid playfully lashed out to her. 'I'll give you alright in a minute. How did your shoot go anyway?'
'Yeah, it went fine, it turns out they didn't have be modelling the big big winter coats after all, that was a slight miscommunication, they don't even have this year's past the designing stage yet. It was more these parkas with the fluffy hoods, you know the ones that make you totally look like a chav even though you're always gonna deny you're a chav, you're wearing one of those things, you're totally a chav. You know Lydia owns one, right?'
As they laughed, Freja continued chatting away, but didn't miss the opportunity to slide Astrid a bar of chocolate, seeing that the Norwegian was struggling to stay awake after a sleepless night. 'So I told them when I got there 'You know you're gonna have to pay me double if the aircon's not on, right?, and you know how they responded? They told me 'We're going to pay you double just for coming in on your day off, because we couldn't find anyone else who was available, and I'm like "Sure, just get it done quickly, 'cause my mate's in hospital and I'm not being funny, but she kind of needs me, so I'll just do whatever you want and get outta here", and they got me in and out of makeup in five minutes.'
'So you rushed it just for me?' 'Well yeah, I'm not going to not be here am I? They agreed that I'd do half the shoot now and next week I'll do a session and a half for the price of one session to catch up, I'm still coming out a few hundred up anyway. How've things been here anyway, Sakura rung me to let me know that you were struggling a bit, apparently the surgeon didn't have particularly good bedside manner?'
Maddy just shook her head, and responded 'Really put the wind up me the way he was talking, I think I just let myself get in my own head on it though, I'm just convinced that every time I go to sleep, something's going to happen. It's almost got to the point where I'm scared to close my eyes just in case someone's there, just in case I'm taken advantage of again or I can't defend myself and someone comes for me.'
Astrid immediately reached out and put her hand on Maddy's, with Freja following suit for the other hand. 'Nobody's going to come after you. Not least because Rhydian knows that if he does then at best he's going back to prison because of that restraining order, and if Akiza so much as sniffs near the base then she's going to be absolutely mauled. Even if they sent all of Junction 7 round there, they wouldn't stand a chance, we've got too many numbers and unlike them, we're a family.'
'Not to mention your security system's ace' Freja added. 'You know that nobody's getting in easy, the other day Kris got locked out of the base for over an hour, it took Jodi resetting the entire system to actually get him in. Positive is that his card's working again now, but the negative is that now it's reset the name of the security system to Clitoris and nobody can work out how to change it back to something none-embarrassing.'
As Maddy laughed, Astrid quickly left under the pretence of going to the toilet, but in reality was eating the snack Freja had given her without being noticed. As she did, she saw Frances walking towards the ward. 'Hey, what are you doing here?' 'Maddy through here?' she asked politely, hair neatly stacked and wrapped around itself. 'Yeah yeah.' 'I was just going to let her know that the restraining order is still active if she wants to press charges against Rhydian for breaching it.'
Sensing the trouble with this, Astrid took her to one side. 'Have you heard about what Maddy did while she was… under their influence?' 'Yes, I had a long conversation with Phil and Hannah about that.' 'And?' 'Phil's got that covered, he's going to make a plea deal with Rhydian whereby he doesn't report what Maddy did to the police, not least because he'd be a co-conspirator, but also if he tries anything, we report him for false imprisonment and being an accessory to rape.'
'But Rhydian didn't know anything about the rape' Astrid questioned, which was where Frances' legal eye came in. 'The courts aren't going to think very highly of a former drug dealer knowing nothing about his ex being viciously raped in his own home. In fact strictly speaking we could push for him to get rape charges. But if he plays along, we're not going to do that, because our priority is keeping Maddy out of jail for things she had no control over.'
Pushing for the decision, Frances then laid the cards out for Astrid. 'If we get him for breaching his restraining order, he gets a maximum of six months behind bars, plus he's then breached his probation, so he has to serve out the last of his sentence, that's potentially putting him away for over a year. A year for Maddy to rebuild with no threat of him, they're not going to give him parole again when he's already misdemeanoured once because he's a flight risk.'
Nodding, Astrid gave some conditions. 'I don't want you to talk to her about it until after we know the surgery's all been successful. Also I want Phil to have his agreement with Rhydian in writing first. Hang on though, wouldn't Phil be in trouble for hiding the truth?' 'If it came out, he'd be fine, they wouldn't make perverting the course of justice stick because he's not intimidating a witness, he's making a deal to keep an innocent person out of jail. As long as he doesn't touch any evidence, he's fine. But I'll discuss this more with you when Maddy's ready to talk.' 'Thanks.'
Frances then walked back in with her, to Maddy and Freja's surprise. 'Frances? The hell are you doin' here?' 'Don't worry' she laughed 'I'm not here for anything legal, I heard you were in hospital and came straight from work. How are you doing?' 'Been better tbf, just waiting for this ruddy rib surgery, but been feeling really queasy at times, it doesn't feel natural.' Frances was fast to reassure her though.
'It doesn't always feel natural, you were probably so nervous about this that it's totally throwing you off. But I promise you, you'll be absolutely fine.' 'Thanks.' 'If it makes you feel better, I had to have my ribs surgically repaired, it was about 10 years ago now, I was involved in a car accident and had four broken ribs which they repaired a week later.' 'What was the recovery like?' 'I won't lie, it was painful, it took me about three… maybe four days to realise I couldn't do it without painkillers, so I was on effective bedrest for a couple of days, and then couldn't return to work for three weeks afterwards, but I lied and told them it was four weeks so I could go on holiday to Corfu, but you never heard that.' As they all laughed, Frances continued to reassure Maddy on the recovery, with each word making her feel better.
Five minutes before surgery
Astrid was still fighting away tiredness while Maddy was quietly lay, reading a newspaper from two weeks previously. 'Wouldn't believe the stuff you miss while you're not here would you? Last I knew the North Shield Saints were flying at the top of the league, now they're barely above halfway.' 'Yeah, doesn't help that Blair's been missing matches due to the situation with you and the situation with Ally and helping Rio as president, Anna's herniated a disc in her back, and now Miley's broken her foot in a skiing accident. If you think about it, that's their three best players all out.'
'What situation with Ally?' Maddy asked, surprising her friend. 'You not heard?' 'No.' 'They're trying to get Ally an Autism diagnosis, they've got a diagnostic meeting in a couple of weeks. It was causing real friction, but now Blair and Jade are back on track, but Blair's been hitting the literature real hard on it. From what they told me, a diagnosis would just explain so much, like her obsessions, she's going through a phase of only listening to music from 1999 at the moment.'
Before they could discuss this situation any further though, the staff nurse came back in. 'The surgeons will be ready for you shortly, so we need to get you ready for the operation.' After getting changed in the toilets where her scars couldn't be seen, Maddy walked back into the ward in her gown, and the anaesthetist walked up to her. 'I'm just going to make a tiny little scratch here.' As he rolled her sleeve up, he saw the scratches, and looked over at Astrid, who nodded to say that she was aware, and they silently agreed to talk afterwards. After injecting the general anaesthetic, he smiled at her and waited nearby.
Within seconds, it started having an effect as Maddy's eyes started to roll back. 'You ok?' 'Feel… really… weird, like lightheaded and stuff… whatever happens… don't leave me Astrid.' 'I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever. I'll be here the entire time. So you just let it happen, just let yourself drift off, everything will be better afterwards.' Maddy smiled and reached over to give Astrid a hug, losing consciousness as she reached her friend's shoulder.
Gently, Astrid got to her feet, and rolled Maddy back into her bed, as the porter walked in. 'Are we all ready then?' After making a quick note of her vital signs, the anaesthetist agreed. 'We're good. We're going to take her through now, if you want to stay then you can wait in the waiting room or the relatives room and one of the surgeons will come and find you when she's out of theatre.' 'Ok, thank you.'
Almost as soon as Maddy had gone for surgery, Astrid walked out of the hospital, and got her phone straight out. 'Hello, is this Brinkburn Nature Retreat? Hi, my name's Jana, I enquired about my friend coming to your retreat the other day? Yeah, she's been struggling with self-harming and self-esteem, and I'm concerned about her mental health. When do you have a free slot for her to come in?'
As Jana joined her outside, Astrid pushed for a quick resolution. Two weeks' time? Is there no way of getting her in any sooner? Look, I know I'm really pushing here, but I'm really concerned about her, she's trapped in a downward spiral mentally and I don't know if she can get out. I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone, but she's been cutting herself, and a few days ago she cut her wrists quite badly, it's only because one of her friends is a trained first aider that we got it stopped. Is that ok? Thank you, I can only tell you how much I appreciate it. Ok, bye.'
Coming off the phone, Jana stared intently. 'It was the self-harming that swung it. They said they do have a couple of spaces for emergency referrals, so she can go as soon as Sunday.' 'But that's… three days away.' 'I know it's really soon, but she really needs this. None of us want her to go, but she needs this for her own sake, she can't be around all the bad memories right now, and it just feels like wherever she goes, they're going to follow her.'
A few hours later
Astrid was quietly sat looking at a picture of she and Maddy together from several months before. 'Where did these times go Maddy? You used to be so amazing, I really admired you because you were invincible, you were this… force, impossible to resist, impossible to ignore, the absolute life of everything. Where did you go? I just want you back.' Her musings though, were interrupted by her noticing the surgeon stood at the doorway.
'Sorry to disturb.' Shocked, she put the picture down and stood up frantically. 'How is she?' He then smiled. 'The surgery went smoothly, it took a little bit longer than expected, but she's now back on the ward and is responding well to the reversal.' 'So there wasn't any side-effects?' 'No, your friend's strong, her signs were extremely stable throughout.' 'Can I… go and see her?' 'Certainly, but a slight warning: she might be a little bit fuzzy when she wakes up. Don't be afraid if she has some amnesia, that will only be temporary.'
Eager to see her again, Astrid rushed across the hospital to the ward, to find Maddy still asleep. But almost as if she was responding to her best friend's presence, within seconds of her arrival, Maddy's eyes started fluttering as she reached out. 'It's ok Maddy, you're fixed, you can come back now.' And after a few minutes of the fluttering, Maddy's eyes opened, with her clearly still very dazed.
'T… trid… I… what's going on?' 'You just had a little operation because your ribs were a bit busted, but you'll be fine. I told you I'd be here when you came out.' She smiled, and whispered 'Thank you', before going back to sleep. Seeing that she was now away with the fairies again, Astrid took the opportunity to leave the ward and find a vending machine for a sugary drink to boost her energy, passing by Radiology as she did.
In Radiology
The doctors were looking at Maddy's pre-surgery scans, but one of them had found a slight abnormality in her midsection. 'Could that be what I think it is?' Taking a hard look, the lead surgeon agreed. 'It could well be. I think we need to get some blood tests to be certain though. And if those show up, then get her an ultrasound urgently, this could be incredibly dangerous if left.
The next morning
Having got some very limited sleep in the hospital, Astrid walked onto the ward to find Maddy's bed empty. As she looked concerned though, the duty nurse came up to her. 'If you're looking for Maddy, she's just been taken for another scan on her ribs.' 'How's she doing?' 'Really well, they want to do another blood test on her tomorrow just to make sure she's doing fine, but she should be able to go after that.'
Around 10 minutes later, Maddy was wheeled back into the ward, while shaking her head. 'How you feeling now?' 'Alright, just a little bit dodgy still, been throwing up plenty but they told me it's natural. You manage to go back to the base at least?' 'No, I slept here overnight, got a few hours.' As Maddy looked at her sternly though, she changed her tune. 'Fine, I got a little over three hours and my back's murder now, but I wasn't going to leave you in here.'
'Oh, by the way, Freja text me this morning, she's not coming today because she's woken up feeling like garbage, she's blaming the air con in the studio for that.' 'She did seem a little peaky yesterday. Look, if you're up to it, there's something that I… well… me, Jana, and Fre wanted to discuss with you.' 'Where is Jana anyway, thought she'd be here.' 'I honestly don't know.' 'So go on… what did you want to talk about?'
'Well it's just that… ok I'll come out and say it, we're all thinking that your issues since you came back are because being at the base and being at home and being around all of us, it's bringing back all these bad memories and throwing you totally out of yourself. So we found this great nature retreat' 'What - you're sending me away again?' Maddy responded, clearly upset at the thought. 'What makes you think I want to leave you?'
'I don't think you want to - I think you need to. You need to take some time, even if it's just a few days, just somewhere where you can be with nature, that's the greatest healer, you need to spend time learning to forgive yourself for the shit that wasn't your fault. Because I'm scared that if you don't, you're going to destroy yourself. Trust me, we don't want you to go, if you can overcome everything around here then we want you to, but… the ghosts are just too strong.'
After briefly considering it, she nodded to Astrid. 'I'll think about it, if you all think it's best then I'll consider it, but I really don't want to go, because I want to be with all of you, I want us to get back to how we all were.' As she said this, Jana walked in, shaking her head. 'I'm so sorry I wasn't here before' 'It doesn't matter' Maddy told her 'You're here now. Astrid was just telling me about this retreat.'
'I'm sorry, the idea was we'd tell you together.' 'I can't pretend I want to do this, but I promised Astrid that I'd at least consider it. How long have you both been plotting this?' 'Jana was looking at it for a couple of weeks, and she suggested it to me a few days ago.' 'So she knows about…' 'She approached me about this before I told her about the cutting.' 'Who else knows?' 'She's the only person I've told, Freja promised not to tell anyone, Blair wouldn't tell anyone, and Belle doesn't even talk to anyone pretty much at the moment aside from me.'
'And I haven't told anybody' Jana added 'Even if I wanted to, the hell am I gonna tell? We weren't deliberately plotting against you, we were trying to find a way to help you because I saw how cut up you were over everything and… to be honest, I was scared that you'd push yourself too hard too soon and become President again immediately. I was hoping it would encourage you to heal up.' 'Well as I told you, I'll consider it. But I don't really want to talk about it right now, I just want to enjoy not being in pain.'
In the base
Freja was having another go at baking a cake for Maddy, having had her previous try disrupted. 'So it wants 250ml of milk next.' As she started to measure the liquid out though, Belle quietly approached her, and tapped her on the soulder, startling her enough to make her spill a significant amount from the bottle. 'What is it with people coming to bug me while I'm trying to bake a cake? What is it?'
'I thought that even though we're sort of not really talking still, it was only good manners to let you know that I'm moving back to Leeds in a couple of weeks.' 'That's… out of the blue.' 'Well it's become clear that I'm never going to get the fresh start I wanted here because people are just going to judge me on what I did accidentally years ago. You're more than welcome to join me if you want to. I know you can't forgive me, but'
Irked by the continued attempts to force her away, Freja snapped back. 'I'm not moving with you to Leeds in the same way that I'm not moving to Ibiza with Lydia. I'm staying here because that is what Astrid and Maddy need, and they are my family right now. People have to stop expecting me to drop everything just because they click their fingers.' Shocked, Belle had no words to respond, but left Freja with a warning. 'Um… by the way, you're measuring in pints not millilitres.' 'Is there a difference?' 'Yeah, a pint's 1.76x a litre.' As Belle left, a furious Freja rage quit her baking exploits.
In Washington
"And now on Wake up to KLIX, we have a very special guest, as at the World Duel Corporation's event in Long Beach last week, they crowned a new top champion, who comes from right here in Twin Falls. You might have heard of her mother, the local gourmet Nana Kastle, and her daughter is on the line via a video call right now, ladies and gentlemen, the new WDC Champion, Rio Kastle. Rio, a very special day last Thursday wasn't it?'
'Special doesn't do it justice, to achieve that one thing which I've been dreaming of, it's simply like nothing else.' 'Now success doesn't come easy for anybody, but obviously for you, losing both your parents so young, can you just describe what growing up as the daughter of Nana Kastle was like?' 'I mean obviously I was 4 when she died, but I don't think I ever grasped the enormity of just how much she meant to people or how famous she was, because she always made a point of keeping her professional life separate. To everyone else she was Nana Kastle, America's home cooking queen, but to me she was just Mom. It was only really as I grew up that I think I realised how famous she actually was. Which is kind of really cool, I mean Blair and Jade, two of my best friends'
'Blair Flannigan the current World Number 1' 'Yeah, and Jade Goocheneyad, who was also raised in Twin Falls for the first few years of her life. But anyway, they were looking around this quaint little thrift shop in Paris when we were there for an event a couple of months ago, and they actually found a cookbook that was written by my Mom.' 'No way.' 'Apparently they just found it halfway down a pile of old books for 1.50. I don't think anyone at the shop knew that it was so important, because you look online and some of these are going for hundreds of dollars. So that was pretty awesome, and it just shows how close we all are that they saw that and just thought of me even though I'd never talked about her before.'
'Now we mentioned your title win, just briefly mention how this came about.' 'So I won an event a couple of weeks ago, it was called International Panic, I was representing Team USA, which I wasn't supposed to be in initially but they needed a substitute because the person representing them was injured, and I basically just put myself forward saying "Just let me in there, I want a go, you need someone to compete", and they let me. Next you know, I've qualified for the six-way final, and I won that. As a result, I got a guaranteed title duel, and cashed it in at the next event, and won, which I don't think many people were expecting. But here we are.'
'Now I can see on the video chat you've got the belt on the shelf behind you.' 'Yep, it was on my shoulder, but I couldn't fit it and myself into the screen, so I just put it where you could see it.' 'I will say, it looks good there. How does winning something like that make you feel?' 'Oh, proud like you wouldn't believe. It's gratifying that all the hard work paid off, that I fought back from everything, from all the medical issues and everything going on personally, to become the top of the tree.'
'You were just saying about your medical issues, just a word on that, because I believe you are technically classed as terminally ill?' 'Yeah, so I've got a condition called Corticobasal Degeneration, for anyone who doesn't know, I was shot in the head a few months ago by James Birchall, he's now serving a long prison sentence for that, but as a result of that, I've got a brain condition which is related to protein abnormalities in my brain, it's degenerative but I really don't know how long I'll have. It's been fine the past couple of months, but obviously that could change. It's kind of scary, but at the same time it's taught me to make the best of every day.'
'Does it cause you any day-to-day issues?' 'I mean I suffer a bit with migranes, and I have short-term memory issues, but I had those issues before sometimes, so I don't really know if that's a result of my condition. But no, apart from that, everything is going really well right now, and long may that continue.' 'Finally, where can people see you in action next?' 'WDC have a big show coming in a few days in Austria, it's called State of the Art, and I'll be in action there. I've heard that Rhydian Morris, the former champion, wants his title back, so he can consider this an official challenge - at State of the Art, I'm going to beat you for a third time, and then you're going to get no more shots at me, because I want to only face the best.' 'Ladies and Gentlemen, things are going brilliantly now, Rio Kastle.'
Meanwhile, at the hospital
After two blood tests, Maddy's doctors met up again to discuss the results. 'How are the hCG levels?' '29 and 27. What did the scans show?' 'The cervix is very much open, she's also reported severe cramping, I'd say she's about six weeks, and it's been gone for maybe two.' 'I think we should tell her.' 'I agree, we have a diagnosis. Contact the midwife, bring them down here.'
Two hours later
Maddy was still recovering, with Astrid talking to her. 'So movie night tomorrow night, what you fancying?' 'I mean I've gotta get out of here yet.' 'They said you'd almost certainly be out by lunchtime.' 'Well in that case… something really cheesy.' 'Freja suggested something called Howard the Duck, it looks really stupid so you'd probably like it.' 'Oh yeah, I saw that a couple of years ago, it was well funny. Might still have the DVD somewhere, but if I don't we'll find it online.' 'Ok, well if that's sorted, I'm going out to get refreshments.' 'Remember, Salted Popcorn.' 'Yeah yeah, I know.'
Astrid then left, just missing Maddy's doctor walking in, with a lady in a white uniform next to her. Just from the looks on their faces though, Maddy knew that something was amiss. 'Maddy, this is Alice, she is part of our counselling team in the hospital' 'If this is about the stuff on my arms, I told you, it was an accident, I'm just really really bad at shaving my arms.' They just shook their heads in response.
'Maddy, there is no easy way to express this to you, so with your permission' 'Just tell me whatever it is.' 'When we were preparing you for your surgery, and we noticed a couple of small abnormalities in your blood tests, so we had to send them off for further analysis. Now we have to ask this; have you been feeling any fatigue recently? Maybe stomach cramps?' 'I mean yeah, a little, I've had a tough time recently to put it lightly.' The following question would shock her to her core.
'Were you aware that you were pregnant?' This question came out of nowhere, and blew her mind, but at the same time filled her with hope. 'No, I wasn't' At this moment, the words struck her. 'Did you just say… hang on, were?' The response would be a bolt through her already fragile heart. 'Yes, that's why we're here. There is no easy way to say this, but… I'm afraid that you've suffered a miscarriage. Your baby is no longer alive, I'm incredibly sorry.'
Numbed into sheer shock at the news, she wiped away a few tears. 'Ok, thanks.' As she said this, Astrid walked into the ward, and seeing her, Maddy turned to the doctor. 'Can I have a minute with Astrid?' 'Certainly, one of you can call us back in when you're ready.' As they left, Astrid sat down, carrying a box of expensive chocolates as well as her shopping. 'See, I told you even Caprice has a heart… or too much money. Sent these all the way from South Africa.'
She then looked up, and saw Maddy about to burst into tears. 'What's… going on?' Through forced back tears, Maddy whispered 'I… I was pregnant with his baby, and I lost it. I miscarried my baby.'
Next time: Rio finds out that being a champion and president leads to constant dead ends, leaving a surprising hand to help her out. Meanwhile, trapped in despair, Maddy decides the only way out is at the bottom of the River Tyne. R: Ultra Evolution Book 25: Depths of Despair
