Author's Notes: Next chapter is UP! Thanks for reading and please review.
(Back with Bill)
The leprechaun had taken many things during his assault on the Shack…
This included all his stolen gold, one of Mabel's hairbrushes (For some reason!), Stan's gold knuckles, a pair of Ford's glasses, One of Dipper's shoes, a fist full of Bill's hair and Finally the TV. The enraged creature had picked it up and threw it at Stan when he had first burst through the door. Of course, Dipper pointed out that the intruder had left the TV broken on the floor. However, Stan insisted that since it was broken beyond repair it was as if it was stolen.
"So, a gnome stole a lock of your hair?" Luisa asked inquisitively. She was currently on Bill's mirror phone in his room. She had made a habit of calling at least once a week to see how he was doing. A habit that Bill found tiresome at times, mostly because he had nothing to share. Okay, scratch that he had plenty to share, but it all involved him going to other dimensions which he wasn't supposed to be doing. Because of this he would either have to tell the story without giving that away, or simply say nothing happened at all.
He usually chose the latter.
"No mother it was a leprechaun, and it took a fistful of my hair!" He exclaimed. He lifted his hat revealing the smallest of bald spots. Okay the hat wasn't his, it was Dipper's pine tree hat one which he had stolen after the tragedy of losing his hair.
"Oh, you are exaggerating as always." His mother insisted. "It's barely noticeable."
"Is too!" Bill whined.
"Well, why don't you use a hair growing spell?" Luisa asked. "Axolotl should have taught you that by now. You are reading the spell book, aren't you?"
Bill bit his lip, no he had in fact not looked at it, not since the whole monster arm incident.
"William if you do not go to him ready to learn he will stay hidden in that book forever." His mother lectured.
"I'm fine." He insisted.
"You need to learn real spells, and not just rely on ones you make up on a fly." Luisa went on. "I swear one of these days one of them won't work and you'll find yourself in real trouble."
Bill grimaced, the exact thing happened during their trip to Quest Buy, he had been wondering why his cane had suddenly stopped working. Now he knew why, apparently made-up spells weren't guaranteed to work. "I promise mom I will study soon; time management is still on the fritz." He explained.
"Oh alright." She sighed. "I'm afraid we'll have to cut this short I have a nobility retreat that I will be hosting later. Very few are aware of the serious matter, so I'll be giving an all-day lecture explaining the proper throne posture. Slouched shoulders are an epidemic among nobility these days…You are practicing your throne posture, aren't you?"
Before Bill can answer she dives into a long-winded lecture on that. Honestly, he tuned her out after a while. "So, this is what it's like to be bored to death…" he muttered.
"William! Are those dimensional scissors?" His mother shouted as she noticed them.
Bill swiped them up from his desk at once!
"Uh… No, no, of course not! Just normal Earth scissors, see?" he tried to explain.
"Good, because you know you are not to leave Earth," Luisa said to him sternly.
Bill nervously laughed, "I would never think of it!"
"Glad to hear!" Luisa began but then her watch went off. "I'm sorry, I must cut you off short; I have lecture things to do! Your father sends his love."
Bill forced a smile. "Goodbye mother." He half laughed; she always said goodbye several times before she actually hung up.
"Love you." She stated and hung up.
Bill sighed in relief only to jump as Mabel comes bursting through the room with Candy, Grenda, Janna, Wendy and finally Dipper in tow.
"Are you ready!" She exclaimed.
"Ready?" Bill asked.
"For Friendship Day." Mabel looks deflated for a moment.
Dipper cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention. "Mabel why don't you go first?" He insisted.
"Yeah." Bill agreed taking his lead. "Mines so good it has to be last."
Mabel squealed and started pulling out presents.
"When did she tell me?" Bill whispered to Dipper as the boy inched closer to him.
"Yesterday, while you were complaining about your hair." Dipper informed him.
"Oh man." Bill groaned.
"Just say mine is from both of us and it will be fine." Dipper assured him.
Bill grimaced, he didn't want his new friends to think he didn't care enough to get something for them, especially since Mabel seemed so amped up.
Mabel handed the last gift to Bill.
He opened the box to a brand-new top hat.
"I got it for your hair." She explained.
Okay now he was really kicking himself, the hat was so classy, and totally him! Mabel had really put a lot of thought into his gift. Apparently, she had did so for everyone, Candy was given a new sweater that read Class Prez in big green letters, Janna got Bat earrings, Grenda had gotten posters from a boy Band called Several Times, Wendy got a new Lumber jack hat, and Dipper opened his box to a brand-new science calculator.
"This is exactly what I need!" Dipper exclaimed.
"Me too!" Bill said dramatically as he took Dipper's hat off forcing it back on the Teen's head. "Yours is giving me terrible hat hair!" He places the top hat on happily. "Perfect!"
"My turn!" Grenda exclaimed. She passed out her gift.
Bill accepted his and many other's as the friends each took turns exchanging gifts, he was getting more and more nervous as it got closer to Dipper's turn.
Dipper went last, seeing is how Bill said he was going last, and they planned to share their gift.
"Happy Friendship Day you guys!" Dipper said, giving them each a box.
Everyone accepted them and opened them.
"Wow, Dipper. More… fanny packs," Candy said, slightly disappointed, as she held out a green fanny pack.
"Okay, I know you guys are non-believers, but these are way cooler than last year's," Dipper explained, pulling up his shirt to show a teal fanny pack identical to Candy's. He opened his and continued, "They have everything you need, like a dilemma whistle, non-drowsy antihistamine, and a space blanket made for two!"
Bill winced; Dipper gave them the same thing last year? He couldn't share this gift with him now! Not when he bragged that his was so amazing.
"Oh, yes! You know how much we love to travel and see the sights!" Grenda said.
"Oh, Dip. You put so much thought into this." Mabel said holding up her pink one that was covered in sparkles. "Gifts are such a great way to show how much you really care about someone. "
"Yeah dude, thanks!" Wendy put her's on which had a plaid pattern.
Grenda's was red, while Jenna's was Black. Bill's was gold, and he had to admit it did look cool enough to allow himself to be seen wearing it in public, but still…
Dipper could see Bill getting fidgety finally the demon shouted, "ANNNND I'M GIVING YOU A TRIP TO THE NIGHTMARE REALM!"
"WE'RE GOING TO THE NIGHTMARE REALM?!" Everyone shouted back at once. They couldn't believe what was happening!
"Bill…" Dipper gave him a warning look but stopped as he saw his pleading look.
"That's a wonderful idea!" Mabel said. Indeed, it would be a great opportunity to learn more about the realm that Bill called home. Dipper had always wanted to see it, from what he read it sounded so unique and bizarre, but he also knew it was full of danger!
"And we can use our new fanny packs!" Dipper insisted, at least with those they'd have some sort of a chance at survival if something went wrong.
"We can go now, right?" Grenda asked Bill.
"Right now?" Candy added.
"I want to go right now!" Mabel agreed.
"Of…. Course!" Bill said using his scissors to open a portal. "Welcome to The Nightmare Realm!" Bill said as they stepped through.
"A place of life, liberty, and potential death around every corner!" Dipper added.
The Girls rapidly took pictures with their phones.
"Is this where you grew up?" Candy asked.
"No, I live waaaayyyy up there," he replied, directing their attention to the top of Cipher Castle.
The castle was huge. It was built into the side of some sort of jagged rock formation. The towers went up at least 100 stories. The domes at the top resembled onions or Christmas ornaments and each one had flags waving on the top of them.
"Ooohhhhh! Let's go there!" Candy says, clearly impressed with the view.
"Oh, you don't want to go there." Bill told her. "That boring royalty stuff is nothing like the real Nightmare Realm." He gestured to the dark ominous space around them. Of course, said place wasn't exactly the definition of "clean" or "sanitary" quite the opposite, actually. While the houses surrounding Cipher Castle looked pretty sturdy, the streets around them looked horrendous (by Earth standards, anyway). Piles of what Dipper hoped was dirt were scattered across the area, and several goats-pig hybrids bleated in a corral nearby. It was like a picture out of medieval times. Also, many buildings were in shambles. While others looked recently rebuilt.
"Oh, look! An open air market!" Mabel called out.
"Get your hydra trail apples!" one merchant shouted.
"Half-off shrunken goblin heads!" Said another.
"Want pickled giant's toe? It's good!" Came another.
Dipper honestly almost lost his lunch on that one.
As They continued exploring the village, Bill suddenly gasped, as his worst nightmare came into view.
His mother was in the marketplace!
He pulled Dipper into a pen full of goats.
"Bill, what the-" Dipper began.
"My mother is here," Bill said nervously.
"What the heck would she be doing here?"
"I don't know!" Bill exclaimed in a low whisper, "She's supposed to be at some dumb lecture? Not that it matters If she sees me, I am dead!" Bill said.
"Breathe…" Dipper tried to get Bill calmed down. "Just tell them the fanny packs are from all of us, and we can go home!"
"No can do, Pine Tree. They are actually enjoying my gift! I don't wanna ruin this for them!" Bill said.
"Then we better move on before she catches sight of us!" Dipper insisted, he knew Bill would refuse to see things his way. So, like always Dipper was on damage control. The two met back up with the girls and Bill wasted no time redirecting the tour.
"Okay, next, I wanna show you… oh! Our natural beauty!" Bill directed their view towards a dark, thick forest with a sign that read-
"Forest of Certain Death!?" Dipper yelled nervously.
"Oh, that's just an old name used to scare kids." Bill explained.
"Sounds thrilling" Grenda said.
"We love nature!" Candy added.
"Death sounds cool." Janna agreed.
"Yeah, live a little man." Wendy encouraged him.
Mabel gave Dipper a look.
Dipper forced a smile if Mabel found out this Friend's Day tour wasn't plan it would make her think Bill could care less, which would no doubt hurt her. So, he led the way into the forest forcing a look of excitement on his face. Part of him was bummed that he wouldn't get to enjoy the sights because he'd be too busy trying to keep out of the Queen's sight.
Surprisingly though as scary as the forest was, it's creepiness was strangely beautiful. And soon he was lost in the tour.
"So, it's really kind of important to keep moving. There's a bleeding willow tree…" Bill explained.
"Ooh!" They all exclaimed.
A caterpillar type monster slithered past them, and Dipper pulled out a notebook drawing everything he saw. His great uncle Ford had a journal full of several supernatural creatures that would help him identify them later.
"...Here's a carnivore blossom…" Bill went on moving the group along.
Then a swarm of odd-looking but rather large bees flew by. Dipper ducked, but Mabel couldn't help but be intrigued.
"Hmm… I wonder if there's some kind of size altering crystal in these woods, like, at home," She thought out loud.
"Are you guys seeing any of this?" Dipper asked, in a bit of a panic. Giant bees with stingers the size of his arm was cause for concern.
"See it? Can't take our eyes off it!" Grenda said.
"Best Friendship Day ever! Best Friendship Day ever! Best Friendship Day ever!" Mabel, Grenda, and Candy chanted as they went ahead with Bill.
Dipper stopped in front of Janna and Wendy as a giant Venus flytrap blocked their path. "Oh, yeah, nice try, path!" Dipper said, taking out gum from his fanny pack and threw it onto it.
It closed up and began chewing the gum, allowing safe passage around it.
"Dipper that was awesome." Wendy praised.
"Wicked." Janna admitted.
"I gotta admit, this was a smart idea for a gift." Mabel was saying as they caught up with the others.
"Well, I just wanted it to be special." Bill insisted, as they took a few seconds to admire some flowers nearby.
"Oh, wow. These flowers are lovely," Candy said.
"Guys Bill said we shouldn't stay still too long." Dipper began to lecture.
"Why not?" Mabel asked.
Bill began to speak but then the flowers rose from the ground, revealing a group of monsters with the flowers as heads. "That's why!" He screamed.
The group ran for the hills, Dipper frantically searched his fanny pack, as they went, before pulling out his whistle and blowing loudly.
The flower monsters screeched and retreated.
Bill looked at his fanny pack with new admiration. "Maybe this is the best gift."
"Told you." Dipper joked.
"...These tracks are fresh," someone called out from nearby.
Everyone looks over to see Luisa examining on the ground, accompanied by Manfred and another servant.
"Oh, shoot! she's onto us!" Bill said nervously and hid behind a fallen tree.
Dipper pulled the girls over with him.
"Bill, you knew your mom was tracking us!" Mabel screeched.
"I hoped we had lost her at the marketplace!" Bill reasoned.
"We gotta go. It's not safe here!" Dipper hissed. "This is getting too risky! Let's get back to Earth."
"But my gift." Bill whined
"It's okay." Mabel assured him. "Even if we didn't get to see everything, it was still an awesome gift."
"Yeah man." Wendy assured him.
Bill checked the area, and after determining the coast was clear, "Okay, that concludes the tour. Hope you've enjoyed-"
"Guys where's Grenda and Candy?" Mabel asked suddenly.
Everyone looked around but Grenda and Candy were nowhere to be found.
" Candy Grenda?" Bill called out quietly.
"Where did they go?" Dipper asked.
"Hey, look, footprints…" Mabel pointed out.
"I can track them." Wendy said, taking the lead.
The footprints lead to some sort of skull shaped rock formation that formed itself into an underground cave.
"Look, it's their stuff!" Dipper pointed out. Grenda's and Candy's clothes and fanny packs were strewn around. "...But where are they?"
A small breeze blew about, and Bill went to investigate, holding his cane which he used as a flashlight, into a small hole. "In that Cave I think."
"Umm… Bill? That's not a…" Dipper panicked.
Another breeze, and then it sucked Mabel's hair in too, revealing that this was no ordinary Cave. Bill shined his cane light on the face of the hydra, which woke up, revealing more of its heads as it stood up, and roared at them.
They all screamed in terror.
And yet they had no choice but to hold their ground, no doubt this thing had ate their friends! They had to save them!
Bill shoved Dipper out of the way as the hydra charged, and one of its heads ate Janna.
"Star! Vengeance!" Bill yelled with a battle cry and the blast from his Cane blew one of the heads of the Hydra up.
"Cool." Janna said, as she stepped out.
Dipper pulled her to safety as Bill continued his charge.
"Super Mutated Shark Slam!" Bill fired a spell, knocking back the hydra with a giant misshapen shark.
Another of the hydra's heads approached from the opposite end, only to be quickly dispatched by another spell.
However, one of its heads started a flamethrower attack, forcing the group against the cave wall.
Dipper called out, "Quick, Pull out your blankets!" Everyone pulled out the space blanket from the fanny packs and proceeded to hide under it as the hydra fired another flamethrower attack.
"Ugh, that hydra is a legit threat, but this will buy us some time. Say, Dip, you got anything else in that thing?" Mabel asked.
"Well, I pretty much used up everything when I was schooling' the Forest of Certain Death. Well, everything except for this miniature book of knots," Dipper explained, holding a book of knots about the size of an SD card.
"Heh, heh, so cute," Bill commented.
"Hope that comes with in a larger size, cause that would- wait, did you say 'knots'?" Wendy questioned, getting an idea. Bill realized what it was and smiled.
"Yeah, why?" Dipper asked, but as soon as he did, he got the memo. He began running in one direction, Bill in another, while Mabel ran underneath the hydra, calling out things like "Bet ya' can't catch me!"
"Hey, over here!" Wendy yelled.
"No here!" Janna argued.
The hydra heads chased them in all different directions, as the teens played a fun little game of cat and mouse; the idea was to get the hydra heads tangled up with each other like a bunch of A/V cords. Eventually the hydra couldn't stretch its heads out very far, and the knot was completed, causing the hydra to choke and pass out.
Bill began cheering at their victory, but another triumphant cry could be heard, causing everyone to freeze. Luisa was seen on a nearby cliff, She was wearing steel battle armor, boots, and holding what appeared to be a spear over her head like a warrior. She jumped down, but before she could do anything to the hydra, she noticed the kids.
"William?" She asked.
"Our friends are inside that thing!" Dipper yelled before she could say much more.
Luisa wasted no time cutting a door out of the hydra's stomach, freeing several Peasants, who cheered at their freedom. However, Grenda and Candy were not among them.
"They're not here? Quick, to the large intestine, before they're fully digested!" Dipper said, rummaging through the hydra's innards.
For a moment, Everyone all looked down, at the implications of Grenda and Candy being killed.
Bill felt awful, this was his fault. How would they tell their parents! Suddenly two people giggling nearby could be heard.
"Wait, that sounds like…"
Sure enough, Grenda and Candy were still alive, and apparently oblivious to the battle that just occurred, as they sat in a natural hot spring nearby.
"There's nothing like a steamy bath after a long day of exploration," Grenda said.
"Grenda, Candy!" Mabel cried as everyone ran up to them.
"You're alive!" Bill added.
"We changed into our bathing suits and decided to relax." Candy explained.
"Best Friends Day ever!" Grenda agreed. "You guys want to join, there's room."
"As inviting as that sounds, I need a minute." Luisa said, pulling Dipper and Bill away.
"Mason, you know William is not to leave Earth! What are you doing here?"
Dipper and Bill tag teamed a stammered explanation.
"Okay, okay! Uh, but the thing is, it's not exactly my fault!" Dipper began eyeing Bill.
"It's Friend's Day..." Bill explained. "They like adventure. "
Luisa gave him a look.
"It all started with the fanny packs…" Bill cried.
Suddenly Dipper realized something. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be giving some 'boring lecture'?" He said, remembering what Bill told him.
Bill suddenly smiled. "Yeah, what are you doing here!"
"Uh, yes! W-We got a little lost. The directions were, uh… magical GPS, umm… it all started with fanny packs…" She stammered out. Finally, she caved with a sigh. "There is no lecture... Being a Queen is exhausting." She admitted. "You know I use to be a battle maiden before…" She trailed off looking sadden. "Sometimes I sneak away to track down monsters that are terrorizing the Peasants. It keeps me sane. And it's good for my throne posture," She explained.
Bill smiled, "So I get my wild side from you?" He asked. "Cool."
"Of course, you do." Luisa laughed. "Can you imagine your father doing this?"
They quickly shared a laugh.
"...So, are you gonna tell him you saw us?" Bill asked.
"I didn't see you and you didn't see me. But just this once," Luisa said. She hugs her son but stops mid-way. "Wait, how did you get here?"
"Look at the time!" Bill said slyly as he and Dipper made a run for it.
Already their friends were far ahead running like the wind.
The answer suddenly dawns on the Queen. "Those were Dimensional Scissors! William!" She charged after him.
"Think she'll catch up?" Dipper as they ran.
"No talking." Bill screamed. "Only running."
"Best Friends Day ever!" Mabel screamed.
"If we survive this, I'm strangling you." Dipper informed Bill.
"If we survive, I will let you!" Bill assured him as the teens took off into the setting sun.
-To Be Continued
