Starting Notes:
Welcome back! The structure of this chapter is… different. I've had it written before I even started the Synchro Arc. It's going to be slightly confusing when you start—but give it a chance! :D This is a very OC + antagonist-centric chapter.
This chapter is also the darkest in terms of actual topics discussed in the entire fic so far, for a few reasons… but the trigger warnings are also kind of spoilery. So, uh, if you want to go in blind, be careful, and skip directly to the chapter from here! On the other hand, if you think that the spoiler warnings are a big deal, there will be a summary of the events of this chapter in the end notes. It's ultimately mostly a flashback chapter. And while it is the darkest chapter of the arc—things will only go uphill, emotions-wise, after this.
[Obligatory line break so that people can skip over the trigger warnings here!]
[SPOILERS] Trigger warnings: Minor character death, suicide/suicidal ideation, drug overdose leading to death, hospitals, survivor's guilt, depression, physical violence/fighting, allusions to violation and assault, parental abuse, burning/scalding, branding of skin, domestic abuse.
Chapter 66: City of Unquiet Graves
"(...) if my neighbours manage to survive without killing themselves, without going mad, maintaining an interest in political parties, not yielding to despair, resolutely pursuing the fight for existence, can their griefs really be genuine?"
- Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human (as translated by Donald Keene)
File EO-00 - Table of Contents
The folder "ZZZ-EO Files" is a confidential folder. The password has been provided to [Clearance Level FULL] [Director] Jean Michel Roget, [Clearance Level 0] Kaname Mizuchi, [Clearance Level 1] Arisu Kirijo, [Clearance Level 1] Makoto Toyama, [Clearance Level 1] Chino Otobashi. Any unauthorised viewing of the files in this folder by Security personnel, or spreading of information within this file to non-authorised personnel/civilian(s) will be punished to the full extent of the law.
The folder contains the following files:
EO-01 - Crystal Methodology
EO-02 - The Casualty
EO-03 - Boy Breaking Glass
EO-04 - No Longer Human
File EO-01 (Crystal Methodology)
[Director's Notes: The following are excerpts from articles written around seven years ago, during the X770 Missing Funds Case.]
Excerpt 1:
After being accused of embezzlement and misconduct one month ago, [REDACTED] has been charged with misappropriation of state funds. While [REDACTED] has claimed that those funds were donated to the Commons, considering that he gains no benefit from doing so, and that the Commons do not keep records of their transactions, there is no proof that [REDACTED] is innocent.
As such, [REDACTED] has been fined a sum of—
Seven years ago:
"Seven hundred and fifty billion yen?"
Arisu raised her head from within the garage. She was currently cleaning her D-Wheel and checking on it.
… her parents were probably assuming that she was in her room upstairs. Otherwise, they wouldn't be talking about this in a place where she could hear them.
"That's ridiculous!" Her mother said. Arisu could imagine her raising a hand to her lips, the way that she always did when she was shocked by something. "How—no one could make that much money in their lifetime! And the amount that was taken from the government funds—"
"Was a hundred million, and I didn't even do that." Her father sounded defeated. "But no one will believe me. I've provided photos of the cheques that I've written, the places that I've donated to, and all that they respond with is that Commons will fake anything if I bribe them enough. They've all already decided that I'm guilty, and they won't accept anything that might overturn that."
"Even so…"
"We have no allies, dear." Her father hit the wall with his fist—Arisu could tell, because the shutter to the garage shook for a moment. "Someone has set all of this up to frame me, and you know how this city is. It'll never change its mind—I'm done for. We're done for—there's no future for any of us. And—what's Arisu going to do? She's a child. She has her whole life ahead of her, and it's been ruined because, what—some bastard decided that they wanted to skim some money off the funds and blame me for it? I'm the worst father…"
And that was enough.
Arisu put her bag down, heading out of the garage.
Her father and her mother both looked at her in shock.
Arisu marched forward, and she wrapped her arms tightly around her father's waist. It took a moment, but he hugged her in return. His arms were shaking—no longer the steady presence that had raised her for these last fourteen years. This was a man who was falling apart at the seams.
But Arisu refused to acknowledge any of that.
Because this was her father. He had to be fine. If he wasn't fine…
If he wasn't fine, how was any of this going to be fixed?
"Arisu…"
"I trust you, dad," she said, pressing her head to his chest. It was a weak sentiment, but what else could she say? She was just a kid. She wasn't able to do the things that her parents could do—she barely understood anything about funds or debt or crime. All that she could gather was that someone had lied about her father, and now they were struggling with money.
It was a concept that she didn't really understand, but…
"I know you'll figure things out," Arisu said. "I believe in you! You always do what's best."
She heard her mother crying. She wondered why.
"... yes, Arisu," her father said, and there was something different to his voice. Arisu couldn't tell what it was. "I promise. I'll do what's right for our family."
Ah, Arisu thought drowsily. So that's what he meant.
Is this what he thinks is right?
The air was thick. Too thick. She couldn't breathe.
She staggered over to the phone. Crawled, maybe. She couldn't stand up.
She pressed the emergency call button.
She didn't remember what she said. Just that her chest felt tight and her voice failed her halfway through the explanation, when breathing had become so difficult that her body literally would not let her exhale properly, let alone waste her air on talking. Her head was only hurting more and more, like something was pressing on the inside of her skull, trying to split it open.
Something about my mother isn't moving. A gasp of my father jumped. A few mutters about my father gave us pills and told us that they were vitamins. I trusted him and took them, and now I can't think or breathe. And definitely, a few times, I can't breathe.
She couldn't even feel her legs anymore. Her vision had turned blurry.
She only vaguely registered people breaking into the house. The door slammed open, and several people—paramedics? They charged in. Two of them came over to her immediately, while the other two moved to tend to her mother.
Their words felt scattered to her ears—she felt like she was dreaming, disconnected from her own body.
("There's no pulse.")
("I think we have to call it.")
("Is it a drug overdose?")
("I think so. The girl said on the phone—her father gave them pills? Was this a…")
("A family suicide, I think.")
("How awful.")
("Isn't this that family—the Kirijos?")
("For the mother, the time of death—")
Arisu slipped out of consciousness, even as she heard shouting.
("We're losing the girl!")
Later in her life, Arisu would remember this moment the most clearly. It was strange, because by all accounts, she was unconscious then. But she had heard something strange—not processed it, but even so, the relief in that paramedic's voice would still stick with her for the rest of her life.
She still pretended that she had never heard it, because she had no clue if it was alright for her to be alive in the first place.
("Her heart's beating again. It's ROSC. Thank goodness. She's alive! She's alive!")
(Am I?)
When Arisu woke up in the hospital, she could still see the bed next to hers. She slowly turned her head—she felt like she'd developed a rash over her entire body, something itching.
She looked over—she heard the doctor shouting, she saw the defibrillator make contact with the man's chest, she saw the jerk of the body beneath the shock. She smelled the absurdly clean stench of bandages and medicine.
And when the doctor gave up and declared, in a perfectly calm and unaffected voice, that "the time of death is—"
Arisu threw up.
A nurse was fussing over her, but she could only stare at the body on the bed next to hers. The body with her father's face—
A person looked so different when they were dead.
And Arisu staggered off the bed. She fell, and as the nurse's hands intruded her personal space, she clumsily swatted them away. She couldn't walk—she could barely feel anything at all. Even so, with a cold will (even her emotions felt numbed by the pain and dizziness) she practically crawled to her father's bedside—
And spat on his shirt.
"You monster," she said, and it felt like her heart was going to stop again. "You—you—"
You wanted to kill us all, so that we would be free of the debt. That was what you thought was the best option.
That was something that you did completely out of love for us. Shame, and love, and a hope that we wouldn't be dragged down with you.
A family suicide.
You monster—this isn't some kind of collective agreement. You didn't ask me! You didn't ask me or mum.
This wasn't something we agreed on—
It was just murder. You just killed mum, killed yourself, and failed to kill me.
She cried out—no, she screamed, a loud, broken scream that shifted in pitch and volume rapidly—her throat gave way, and yet she could not stop.
This was the most horrific thing that anyone had ever done to her, and it had only been done out of love.
Some twisted, agonising mix of love, helplessness and cowardice.
She only realised that she had been sobbing her eyes out when the nurse pulled on her arms firmly, pulling her away from her father.
How am I supposed to survive on my own? I'm a child! It would have been better if I was dead. If both of them were going to die, how am I supposed to live on?
Excerpt 2:
—the only survivor of the incident was the fourteen-year-old daughter of [REDACTED], who was charged for crimes against the state a week prior. When questioned, High Council member, Gael, stated the following. "Despite the cowardly actions of [REDACTED], he has still committed a crime against his fellow Tops that cannot be forgiven. While he is dead, the consequences of his actions are still apparent—there is still a gap in funding for some of our important expenses, such as the plumbing for the fountains in the centre of the city, and the air transportation to guarantee the safety of the Tops from dangerous Commons on the ground below."
"As such, the debt that [REDACTED] owed to the City has not yet been forgiven. And with his actions, he has instead passed that debt onto his young daughter. However, the City has made a deal with the bereaved—
Arisu spent the next few days in the hospital.
She didn't really want to do anything.
But then, on the fourth day of her hospitalisation, one of the members of the High Council stopped by. She recognised them, of course—she had met them at some of those stuffy parties that she was expected to go to, as a member of the Tops.
"You're…" Her eyes widened.
"My name is Gael Cenozoss. I am a member of the High Council of this city," the man said—as though Arisu didn't already know that. "And you are Arisu Kirijo, aren't you? The daughter of Mitsugi Kirijo."
Those few days had done nothing to halt the growing fury that Arisu felt at her situation—and at the sound of her father's name from the voice of someone who had been involved in the whole incident that had ruined her life, that fury broke through the purple-haired girl's self-loathing. "Get out," she said.
"As you know," Gael continued, as though he hadn't heard her words at all, "I am the one who judged your father's guilt."
"Get. Out."
"And, as your father and mother are both dead, that debt has passed down to you."
For a moment, Arisu considered whether it was worth it to punch one of the most important figures in the city in the face. Sure, she would probably be dragged to court, but—what could they do, saddle her with more debt? Kill her? Either way, it wasn't anything that she hadn't already experienced.
("The patient's heart," one of the nurses had reported while she was lying there, "stopped for one and a half minutes until resuscitation.")
(Arisu had considered asking the nurse to shut up and stop talking about her like she wasn't there, but she had also recognised that that sentiment was probably just a product of her terrible mood.)
"However, our city is lenient."
"You don't say," Arisu couldn't help but mutter.
"As such, I have come here today with an offer." Gael was still just… going on and on. "We have heard that you're a rather talented young duelist. Your father talked about you a lot, and while you haven't dueled a lot in the public eye, it seems that you're well known, 'Crystal Beauty'."
Drop dead.
"We would like to put that to the test. You will duel one of our chosen duelists, so that we can assess your ability. If you can prove your strength, we may consider… an arrangement that will resolve your outstanding debt."
… and where was this before my father killed us?
Arisu breathed out.
(And made a mistake.)
"Bring your duelist here and I'll duel them," she said bitingly.
At the very least, it would distract her from all of this.
As it turned out, the 'chosen duelist' in question was Gael's son. Because of course it was. Arisu had bumped into Jura Cenozoss once or twice at those fancy parties, and she had never quite cared for his attitude.
… right. Apparently, despite his lack of talent, the older boy wanted to become a pro duelist.
This was fine.
Jura was the kind of guy to be insensitive and poke at certain subjects. While he had tried to do so the moment that he had shown up outside the hospital, once Arisu had threatened to strangle him with his own necktie, he had shot her an affronted look and stopped talking about her parents. He had let out a huff—as though she was the one at fault.
Against an opponent like this…
It would just be venting.
[DUEL!]
Arisu Kirijo: 4000LP
Jura Cenozoss: 4000LP
[Turn 1: Arisu] [H:5]
"I'll start," Arisu said. She was still dressed in a hospital gown, but she wasn't really bothered by it. Her voice sounded somewhat raspy to her own ears though. She glanced at her hand.
… well. She didn't need to use most of this right now. If she remembered Jura's usual combo…
"I'll Normal Summon Crystron Quan," she said. The small humanoid creature made of white-blue crystal appeared in front of her.
[Crystron Quan (1*/500/500/WATER/Machine/Tuner/Effect)]
"I'll set a card and end my turn."
[Turn 2: Jura] [H:6]
"Just like that? That doesn't fit the talent that I was told about…" Jura sniffed. "Well, no matter. We'll see how you do, 'Crystal Beauty'." He drew a card. "I'll activate the Spell Card, Fossil Dig! I'll add a Level 6 or lower Dinosaur monster from my deck to my hand! And then, I will activate the Spell Card, One for One! By sending a monster from my hand to the graveyard, I can Special Summon a Level 1 monster from my deck! Come! Jurrac Aeolo!" A small blue and yellow lizard-like monster appeared, still sitting in its eggshell.
[Jurrac Aeolo (1*/200/200/FIRE/Dinosaur/Tuner/Effect)]
"I will then use the effect of Aeolo! By tributing it, I can Special Summon a Level 4 or lower "Jurrac" monster from the graveyard! Come back! Jurrac Guaiba!" Another flaming dinosaur appeared, this one with a blue head and an extremely long neck.
[Jurrac Guaiba (4*/1700/400/FIRE/Dinosaur/Effect)]
"And I'll Normal Summon Jurrac Dino!" He continued. A small dinosaur with golden claws appeared, surrounded by the same bright flames as before.
[Jurrac Dino (3*/1700/800/FIRE/Dinosaur/Tuner/Effect)]
"Battle Phase! Jurrac Guaiba attacks Crystron Quan!"
"I will activate the effect of Crystron Quan," Arisu responded. "During my opponent's Battle Phase or Main Phase, I can Special Summon a non-Tuner monster from my hand, and immediately perform a Synchro Summon of a Machine Synchro Monster with Quan and the summoned monster. Come from my hand, Crystron Rosenix." A red phoenix appeared in front of her, glinting as light shone through its transparent body.
[Crystron Rosenix (4*/1800/1000/WATER/Machine/Effect)]
"I will then tune the Level 1 Crystron Quan to the Level 4 Crystron Rosenix," Arisu continued. "Beautiful amethyst, fuse with the bright citrine, and with the power of the eastern sun, rise up! Synchro Summon! Level 5! Lady of ametrine—Crystron Ametrix!" The elegant woman made of purple and yellow crystals appeared in front of her, sparkling
A woman made entirely of purple crystals appeared, leaning back on a large yellow crystal. She looked rather graceful, and she had a short draconian tail as well.
[Crystron Ametrix (5*/2500/1500/WATER/Machine/Synchro/Effect)]
"When Crystron Ametrix is Synchro Summoned, I can change all face-up Special Summoned monsters you control to Defense Position." Guaiba was forced to the ground, but Dino was perfectly fine—even so, it obviously didn't have enough attack points to pose a threat to Ametrix.
"An effect that indiscriminately forces Special Summoned monsters to retreat…" Jura looked annoyed. "I will tune the Level 3 Jurrac Dino to the Level 4 Jurrac Guaiba! Synchro Summon! Come forth! Level 7! Jurrac Giganoto!" A mostly blue dinosaur appeared next to him, standing on two legs—its head was the same orange as its stocky, large feet.
[Jurrac Giganoto (7*/2100/1800/FIRE/Dinosaur/Synchro/Effect)]
"While I control Giganoto, all "Jurrac" monsters I control gain 200 attack points for each "Jurrac" monster in the graveyard!" Giganoto glowed. "I have Dino, Guaiba and Aeolo! So Giganoto gains 600 attack points!"
[Jurrac Giganoto: 2100 + 200 x 3 = 2700ATK]
"I'll set a card and end my turn!"
[Turn 3: Arisu] [H:3]
Arisu stared at him.
… I'm just going to finish this braggard off and go back. I didn't even want to be here…
"Draw," she declared. "I'll discard a card to Special Summon Crystron Sulfefnir from my hand." The large yellow monster appeared, with bright green crystals growing out of its body.
[Crystron Sulfefnir (5*/2000/1500/WATER/Machine/Effect)]
"Then, I must destroy a card I control," Arisu continued. "I will destroy Sulfefnir itself." The monster immediately burst into bright crystals.
"Ha! Have you lost it?"
While she was usually rather indulgent with her opponents, considering that a lot of the time, they were children from the Commons that were just learning how to duel, she couldn't be polite right now. "When Crystron Sulfefnir is destroyed, I can Special Summon another "Crystron" monster from my deck. Come. Crystron Smiger." The yellow tiger appeared on the field, letting out a growl.
[Crystron Smiger (3*/1000/1800/WATER/Machine/Effect)]
"I will banish Crystron Thystvern from my graveyard to add a "Crystron" monster from my deck to my hand." Arisu revealed the card that she had added to her hand. "I will Normal Summon Crystron Citree." The small, feminine crystal that resembled a fairy appeared on the field.
[Crystron Citree (2*/500/500/WATER/Machine/Tuner/Effect)]
"I'll tune the Level 2 Crystron Citree to the Level 3 Crystron Smiger!" The two monsters shot up. "Mechanical justice, be formed from the water born in the crystalline mountains and strike down our foes! Synchro Summon! Level 5! Ally of Justice Catastor!" The white and gold machine appeared in front of her, scuttling across the ground.
[Ally of Justice Catastor (5*/2200/1200/DARK/Machine/Synchro/Effect)]
"You brought out a monster weaker than mine?"
… Arisu was just tired. And bored.
"Catastor attacks Giganoto." She didn't even give him a chance to boast. "And when Catastor battles a non-DARK monster, it automatically wins the battle before damage calculation."
"What?" Her opponent exclaimed. "Trap Card, Mirror Force! I'll destroy all your Attack Position monsters!"
All three of her monsters exploded.
"So it's over!"
"Trap Card, Torrential Reborn," Arisu countered. "When a WATER monster I control is destroyed and sent to the graveyard, I can Special Summon the destroyed monsters. This includes any monsters destroyed simultaneously with Ametrix—meaning that Catastor comes back too." The two monsters reappeared on her field, as though nothing had happened. "And you take 500 damage for each card Special Summoned by this effect."
Two sharp waves crashed against Jura, who looked disgruntled.
Jura: 4000 - 500 x 2 = 3000LP
"And don't assume that you're surviving," Arisu said. "Since you destroyed my Synchro Summoned Crystron Ametrix with a card effect, I can Special Summon a "Crystron" monster from my graveyard, except a Synchro Monster." Rosenix reappeared.
Jura sputtered. "So—you only won because I destroyed your monsters? How can you consider that a victory?"
Not really. Arisu still had Limiter Removal in her hand, meaning that if his set card had done nothing, she could still have used it and defeated him with Ametrix alone. But making him think that he lost because of himself was probably the better option. So she gestured forward, and Rosenix and Ametrix finished her opponent off.
Jura: 3000 - 1800 - 2500 = 0LP
Winner: Arisu Kirijo!
"A perfect victory, with no damage at all," Gael said. "Very impressive, Kirijo-san."
"Impressive enough for whatever you wanted?" Arisu shot back.
"Yes."
"Then hold up your end of the bargain. Forgive my debt." The words burned at her throat—what debt, my parents were framed—but she held them in so that she wouldn't say something that she would regret.
"Indeed." Gael looked at her. "Your dueling capability will prove very useful to us. We have been looking for someone like you, to fill a certain role in this city."
… the world seemed to have frozen over, all of a sudden.
"What do you mean? I thought you said…" Arisu shook her head. "You never said anything about a role, or… what?"
"Why are you so surprised?" Gael said. His son had already retreated sulkily to his side. "I did say that we would come to an arrangement. Or did you think that the state would let you go just because you won a single duel?"
She had—well, she hadn't believed that, but…
What exactly had she just been signed up for? No, no—
"We're attempting to boost the strength of Security. The Commons have been making us uncomfortable as of late, with all their strange movements—asking for more than they deserve." Gael folded his arms. "Of course, you must take into account your situation. You are a girl, not yet an adult, in this city, with no guardians to speak of. The daughter of a disgraced man. You have no allies and no resources. If you refuse us, you will be blacklisted for a lack of cooperation—no business in this entire city will ever hire you, and thus, you will never be able to make any money to pay back that debt. Obviously, you will not be able to afford food or water either. People who owe such a sizeable debt cannot purchase property, cannot make investments, and cannot be admitted into hospitals. And most importantly for your situation, the guards at the borders of the city are always notified about the people who are still… shall we say, of relevance to us."
And that was a very fancy way of saying that she would never be able to escape this city—that she was helpless. That there was no way for her to survive in this city.
"If you agree to become a member of Security, and use that strength of yours for the sake of the city, the High Council can ensure that you can live a decent life. And if you don't… you'll find that there is no path for you to follow. Of course…" There was something mocking to the words, for all that the tone that they were spoken with was perfectly serious. "In the end, Arisu Kirijo… it is your choice."
"... you bastard," Arisu said. She clenched her fists in helpless anger.
"Shall I take that as agreement?" Gael reached out—and he patted the top of her head.
Somehow, that single, condescending act broke down Arisu's walls, and she collapsed like a ragdoll to the ground. She raised a hand to her face—fingers curled like claws, pressed tightly against her forehead. Tears burned at the edges of her eyes in humiliation and frustration.
"You start work tomorrow," Gael said. "Go to the Security Bureau at 9. Your debt will be cleared if you show up. If you do not…"
The threat was clear.
The two left.
Arisu abandoned all pretence, despite the fact that she was in a public space, and screamed her lungs out.
In the end, she didn't go back to the hospital. It wasn't like she had anything left there.
She didn't know where to go, so in the end, she headed to the Commons. Martha took one look at her and gestured for her to come in. Arisu stammered when the older woman brought out some old clothes of hers.
"You don't have to—"
"You can't be walking the streets like that, Arisu," Martha said gently. Arisu glanced at herself, realising that she was still in a hospital gown. Wow. She was really out of it, wasn't she?
Arisu moved to change in the toilet.
"I've been so worried, Arisu," Martha said gently. "Are you okay?"
Arisu had to stop herself from crying again.
Because…
Was this the first time that someone had actually asked her if she was alright, after all of that?
Had no one cared to ask at all?
"Arisu?" Martha asked.
"Do…" Arisu managed. "Do you know?"
"... I do. I didn't tell the rest."
Relief filled Arisu's heart for a brief moment—at least the others didn't know. She didn't want Yugo or Kaname, especially, to look at her like that.
At the same time, her relief shared the same space as her humiliation. Clearly, what had happened to her family had become public knowledge. No one had cared. No one had done anything to help her father, and then, after he died, no one had helped her either.
No one except Martha—
Who was one of the Commons that the High Council wanted her to oppress.
"I know that you didn't grow up here, Arisu," Martha said softly. "But your parents helped us out a lot, and I've always considered you as one of mine too. If you need anything…"
No.
I've already been dragged down. This is… hell.
I can't ask for help and drag them down with me.
"I think," Arisu said, hiding her face, "that you've done enough for me, Martha-san. The rest is up to me now."
"... you're still a child."
"I know, but…" Arisu stared at the corner of the room, just so that she could avoid looking at Martha's concerned gaze. She buttoned up her shirt, fidgeting. "I keep thinking about it, and I think that nine times out of ten… I would have died there. No, I should have died there."
Martha let out a quiet gasp.
"And the thing is, I'm not superstitious… but there has to be a reason that I lived." Arisu shook her head. "No, that's not right… I need there to be a reason why I lived, after all of that. To be honest, I keep repeating to myself that I should have died. I keep thinking to myself that it would be better if I was dead."
But there was still the worst truth of all. Arisu prepared herself to say it.
"But… despite all of that, not once have I wanted to die. I don't want to die, Martha. But I also need to make my life worth it—to justify why I lived, over my mother and my father…"
And the grief that bubbled up in her heart only made the ache worse.
"I was offered a job today," she confessed. "As part of Security." She explained everything to Martha, still not looking at her.
"So they're not giving you a choice? But… you're a child! How can they be so cruel?"
"... it's okay, Martha," Arisu said. "If I have to do this… I'll do it right." She turned over, forcing a smile on her face. "If I really join Security, I won't let it change me. I'll treat people fairly, and I will help the people that really need me… to the best of my ability."
Obviously, she was under no illusions that she could always be a good person. There would probably come times when her orders would be awful, but she would be put under the pressure of the High Council to fulfil them.
… and each time that happened, she could only hate them more and more, while being unable to turn against them.
But she wanted to be a good person.
That was the only way that she could ever make up for the sin of wanting to live on.
Four years later, Jean Michel Roget would come to the city. He would call her up to his office and say: "Work for me."
Arisu would look at him and think you are a cruel person, and anyone can see that from your face. Her contempt must have shown, because Roget would end up laughing.
"I've heard you are a 'good person'," he would say. "You're the kindest officer in the city. And that's exactly why I want you to work for me. Having you on my side will give me legitimacy in a way that most other officers cannot offer me."
"I don't want to hurt people," Arisu would reply tensely.
"Then fine. We can write a contract of our own." Roget would say, still smirking. "All I need from you is to do your job. In return, I will ensure that you never have to deal with the High Council again."
"... do you plan to get rid of them?"
"I plan to get rid of a good many things in this city, I think." Roget's smirk would never leave his face. "You'll most certainly disagree with me—but aren't I better than what you're already dealing with?"
… and at long last, Arisu finally saw the light that she was looking for, at the end of this miserable tunnel of frustration and shame.
She would hold out her hand, and Roget would shake it with that cunning look on his face. A deal with the devil.
Excerpt 3:
—as such, as an act of mercy and generosity from the High Council, the bereaved has been hired as a member of Security. The High Council will always seek to do its best for the people of the city.
File EO-02 (The Casualty)
[Director's Notes: The following are excerpts from articles concerning the officer in question, though they are scarce.]
Excerpt 1:
A scandal was revealed today, as wealthy businessman Rikuo Yukoni was revealed to have two illegitimate children in the Commons. This was revealed by an anonymous source from the main city hospital, who discovered DNA tests that Yukoni had performed and subsequently paid to have hidden. In the wake of this incident, many of Yukoni's business partners have cut off all ties with him, and his company's stocks have fallen greatly as well—
Five years ago:
"What do you mean that you won't treat my father?" Naoya shouted. Chino grimaced—she was sitting by her father's side. He was unconscious—she and Naoya had taken turns carrying him to the hospital, and now, Naoya was arguing with the doctors.
"Commons aren't allowed in this hospital," the nurse said. "It's the law."
"So what if we're Commons? He's not a Common! I don't care if you all look down on us, but my father… he needs help!"
"Those that associate with Commons are just as bad as Commons themselves," another nurse muttered, and Naoya growled.
"Say that to my face, you—"
Chino just sat there, squeezing her father's hand. She could feel the eyes on her—that feeling that everyone wanted her out of there. She felt somewhat numb.
And then, her father fell forward—off his chair, onto the ground. Just as feverish as before, but no longer shivering.
Just still.
Chino felt for a pulse.
But Naoya started shouting.
"You have so many empty beds! My father came in before any of those people that you're treating! How can you just say that his life doesn't matter compared to all of those privileged bastards?"
Shut up.
Just shut up, Naoya.
Chino could feel her father's pulse weakening by the moment. But it wasn't something that she could fix—whatever was wrong with his health wasn't something that a child could understand, let alone help with.
Her father was dying slowly, and her brother was too busy being reckless and angry to be there for him.
She leaned forward and pressed her head to her father's chest. Her mother was long gone—in her life, she only had her father and her brother.
It should hurt more. It really should. And yet somehow, Chino couldn't bring herself to cry, because of just how resigned she felt.
They hate us so much that they would rather see us die in front of their eyes.
She slowly heard his heartbeat fade, and when she couldn't feel it anymore, she squeezed his hand again.
Then, she slowly let go of it. The chatter and the stares continued from around them, and Chino felt like they were searing through her skull. Even so, she forced down everything, forced herself not to think so much, not to feel so much. Feeling too much would only make things worse.
She had to be mature about this. Otherwise, they would only get in more trouble.
"Naoya," she called. "Let's… go."
"How can you say that?" Naoya whirled around, only to see their father still on the ground. "No—did he…"
"Let's go."
"You're so cold and heartless!" Naoya spat out. "Our father—how can we just leave when they did nothing and watched him die? How can we just go? All of these people, who didn't say a single word in our defence! All of these people who stood by and acted like another person's life was none of their business!"
"I'm sorry for your loss," one of the nurses said.
And that was it. Those 'kind' words were the ones that made her take a step back, bracing herself against the chair.
While Chino had never been able to go to school, her father had brought books over for them to read. While Naoya was going off with his friends to cause trouble, she had learned everything that her father had taught her properly.
(A lot of it had been from the hope that she could live a good life. That someday, she could become a daughter that wouldn't shame her father with her very existence.)
(She had really wanted to live a good life.)
In one of those books, there had been a poem that had stuck with her. A poem about bystanders watching a person die in front of them, unable to comprehend his suffering or lend a hand in any meaningful way. Caring less about the stranger's life—simply continuing as normal with their lives.
Sympathies fasten to the blood like flies. Here's no heart's more open or large than a fist clenched, and in there holding close complacency its most dear unscratchable diamond.
'I'm sorry for your loss?', they wanted to say?
Sympathy was worthless. It was a poisonous feeling that ate up a person from the inside out—especially false sympathy like this. A sympathy only granted as the bare minimum.
People liked to say 'I'm sorry for your loss', so that they wouldn't have to feel responsible for anything else. So that they could avoid the guilt of not having done anything else.
What bullshit.
It wasn't like anything would have changed if they had spoken up. Her father would have died anyway—a single voice wouldn't have gotten him admitted into the hospital.
(However, despite Chino's thoughts, she was wrong. A single voice might have changed everything.)
(At the very least, it might have stopped her from becoming what she would become in the future, that cold, detached figure with no righteousness, no energy to do anything except comply. It might have given her the chance to believe that something good could come of this rotting world.)
Chino watched as her brother screamed and cried in fury. She watched as he threw things around—some of the Tops were screaming. A computer monitor crashed to the ground, shattering to pieces. A keyboard flew across the room. Papers tore slightly as they were flung towards the ground, crumpling against the force of his fingers.
She looked at him.
He looked so angry. His emotions were showing so clearly in everything that he did, as he destroyed the things all around him.
How did he do that? Just… let out his feelings, without considering all the logical consequences of it? What he was doing now would only destroy their lives even more. It was the reason why—Chino knew that she was sad, knew that she was angry, but she couldn't let any of it out, because it would only make things worse.
So she just stood there quietly, like a kettle heating up.
Her anger never boiled over though.
She simply stood there, and she planned for what was next.
Her brother continued to scream.
Excerpt 2:
—this is a report recording the interactions between the High Council and the sister of the perpetrator, for the Director of Security. The victim in question, the hospital, agreed to an arrangement suggested by the sister of the perpetrator, with persuasion from the High Council.
After an investigation, the High Council has generously decided to foot the bill for the hospital's damages. Furthermore, all charges against the Commons in question have been dropped, and the High Council will pay for the funeral of Rikuo Yukoni. Any other conditions of the arrangement are unknown, but it seems that the council chose to be quite forgiving in this case—
"It is quite bold for a child to request an audience with us, the High Council," a man said, staring at her. "If not for that letter of yours, we would not have entertained it."
"... I know my brother is currently in the Facility, and has been for days," Chino said. She kept her voice completely calm. "I sent in my petition a few days ago, but it seems to have been left unread. I figured that I'd light a fire under you to get you moving."
"In this letter…" One of them—that was Gray, from the brief glimpses that Chino had caught of him on the television. "You stated that you 'knew the full truth of our arrangement with Mitsugi Kirijo'. Before we discuss the case of your brother—we would discuss that."
"Why?" Chino replied, unflinching. "Because you are afraid?"
"The High Council is not afraid of fourteen-year-old children with greater arrogance than age," Azul said, her voice rumbling.
"But the High Council is afraid of losing control of its image," Chino said. "Which could happen if certain information was revealed to the public. Such as where the hundred million yen that Mitsugi Kirijo supposedly stole ended up. Namely, in the pockets of the five of you."
"You're simply boasting. You have no proof."
"I have plenty of proof," Chino replied. "My father, at least, left me a lot of proof. My demands are very simple—I want my brother to be freed, the damages to be paid for, and for my father to be buried at no cost to us."
"The sheer gall of a mere girl to try to blackmail us…"
"I just want to save my brother," Chino said.
(And in doing so, she had made her own mistake too.)
"Your conditions are acceptable," White Taki said, after some hurried discussion.
Chino slowly exhaled in relief.
"However, you must admit that your brother has still committed a crime. No matter the circumstances, he destroyed public property and caused a public nuisance."
"He's still my brother," Chino said. She had seen his actions and known what would happen to him, but at the same time, she had still wanted to figure out a way to help him.
"We have a proposal for you," Azul said. "It is the only way that we will agree to your conditions. Prove yourself useful to us."
"... I have no interest in being used by you," Chino said. If she could allow herself to be angry, she would have shouted those words out loud. But she was able to think rationally. If she had a direct connection to the High Council, that would… be bad for her reputation among the Commons, but it would mean that their financial situation would be better too. And with their father gone…
It might be better to just work from within the system.
They wanted to keep her under their thumb, to ensure that she didn't tell anyone about their crime. But it was fine. She had no intent of rocking the boat, as long as she could just live.
"I am alright," she said, "with… working for you. But I won't be used by you."
… if it's possible, I'll use you.
"Then the deal is settled," Azul replied.
"You're going to be working for Security?"
Chino sighed, leaning back. "Yes. And?"
"Why the fuck would you do that?" Naoya shouted, which was just about the response that she had expected from him.
… she was used to it being just the two of them, anyway. Her father hadn't been around nearly enough to be a good mediator between her and her troublesome brother.
"You're betraying the Commons! Don't you know how much Security oppresses us?"
"... you've been hanging around with those boys from down the street too much again," Chino muttered. "And anyway, I don't care about the Commons as a whole group. If we'e stuck being hated by others, we might as well make the most of it."
"What, and leave others out to dry?"
"Why are you so idealistic?"
"How can you care so little about others? You're still going to be betraying all the other people like us, who are also being suppressed by the Tops!"
I just want to protect you. You're the only one I have left. Chino didn't say that though. "I'm the only reason you're out of jail."
"I'd rather have stayed in jail instead of coming out to find that my sister is a traitor to everything that I care about," Naoya shot back.
There was silence.
Naoya paled. "I—wait, Chino—"
"Dinner is in the fridge," Chino said. "Go to sleep early. I don't want to see you." She turned around and headed out the door.
"Want a cigarette?"
"I'm fourteen. I don't smoke."
The boy sitting on a cardboard box shrugged. "Congrats. You're the smart one." He leaned back, and light grey smoke filled the air. Chino cleared her throat. She didn't mind the smoke—it reminded her of her father, who would always show up with the scent of tobacco clinging to him, for all that he never smoked around them.
"Then, are you not smart?"
"I've made some poor decisions recently," the boy said. "I'm pretty well-known for those."
"Well, you don't have any criminal marks. So clearly, you're doing something right." Chino sighed. The boy shrugged noncommittally. "Everyone that my brother hangs out with has a criminal mark somewhere on their face."
"Then your brother's probably getting one soon too."
It was a terrible thing for anyone to say—and yet, Chino couldn't deny that it was true, because if not for her, her brother would already be branded with those golden lines. "If he gets in trouble again, he probably will be."
"Want me to arrest him and save you the trouble?" The boy asked—and alright, that was even worse of a thing to ask, but it did give Chino an idea of the kind of person that she was speaking to.
"If he gets in trouble again? I'll probably arrest him myself." She shook her head. "I… really hope that he'll start thinking properly. I can't keep shielding him from the consequences of his actions, just 'cause he won't think…"
"Arrest him yourself…" The boy blinked, before sighing. He tossed the cigarette onto the ground, and they both watched the orange glow on it slowly fade away. "Shit. I thought you were a suck-up, but I didn't think you were the same as me."
"I am a suck-up," Chino said promptly. "And I probably am the same as you. I start work soon, I think."
"What, does the city really need three teenagers to run the show for them?" There was something indescribably bitter to his words. "Here I thought my case was special and all."
"It probably is," Chino replied. "It just means that your life sucks as much as mine." She could say it without shame now. "Chino Otobashi. What about you?"
"Makoto Toyama," the boy replied. "Hah. If your life sucks, you really are very similar to me, huh?"
"I just don't want to struggle for no reason. I'd rather live."
She must have said something strange, because Makoto laughed.
"... see you at work then." He walked off. Chino glanced after him.
… as terrible as her life was, she still had a feeling that his life was worse.
After all, at least her father had been one of the Tops—that was still a privilege that she had.
Yes.
It was fine. She was fine. She could still deal with all of this.
One week later, Naoya Otobashi was arrested for getting in a fight with an officer, and he got his first criminal mark on his neck.
Chino would avoid talking to him, but she would bail him out, and the officer who hurt him would be politely asked to leave a week later. People would whisper and gossip about her the entire time. Of course, she knew that he would go off with those friends of his, and they would all complain about Security. Fantastic.
As though it couldn't all have been avoided if Naoya could just shut up and let things go—!
But those idiots would probably call it courage.
And Chino could tolerate that. She could tolerate it all…
But then she actually heard them talk.
"You have a sister in Security, don't you?"
… that was likely Shinji Weber. Chino had heard about him—one of the biggest rebels around these parts.
"And she let them brand you with that criminal mark?" A different one scoffed. "What a shitty sister. Shouldn't she actually try to protect you?"
Chino would shut her eyes and turn away.
Why should others have to protect you people when you choose to do things that will only hurt yourselves?
Even so, she tried.
"No," Azul said. "Security members cannot abuse their power for the sake of their family members like that. A criminal mark marks a criminal. And that is all that your brother will ever be allowed to be."
Chino looked at her. "Remind me again, but is there precedent for this?" She asked slowly. "After all, most members of Security are Tops. And you all don't charge Tops with crimes at all."
"Tops do not commit crimes, but if one did, we would punish them."
Chino watched the woman, her expression even. Externally, she appeared to be considering those words. Internally, though…
I will kill you, she promised the unaware fool in front of her. And before I do, I will make sure that you feel the pain of every time I've had to bite my lip to stop myself from saying how much I despise you.
"If you say so," she said, taking a decidedly less aggressive position.
And maybe then, there might still have been a chance for her to turn things around. To become a better person before that silence and anger trapped her in an apathetic shell. Even as she already began to be worn down by her experiences—by those who would never be grateful to her, and those who would always see her as a monster—she was still at least trying.
But that opportunity died on the day of a certain incident.
Excerpt 3:
After the bombing incident at Security, several personnel were sent to the hospital for the treatment of their wounds. Five people were detained at the scene—four Commons, and, in a shocking twist of events, an aspiring Pro Duelist, Sherry LeBlanc. The ringleader of the incident was Kiryu Kyosuke, who has declined to provide his motive for this unwarranted attack. This does not seem to be an ideological attack—some other places in the Commons were attacked later in the night, before the culprits were arrested.
Security Director Jean Michel Roget has stated that the perpetrators will be dealt with, in such a way that they will still be useful to the city, but cannot harm it with their rebellious intentions. While he has not yet explained how he plans to do so—
Two years ago:
"And thus, I intend to place your brother in maximum security for life," Roget said. Chino had not yet had the chance to talk to the Director, despite the fact that it had been a year since he had been allowed to come into power. "But considering your unique circumstances, I thought that I should consult with you first."
Consult…
Unique circumstances?
"I don't understand."
"There's no need to play dumb about it. You are here because the High Council bribed you with your brother's freedom. But your brother has a history of delinquency, and as such, I do not think that it is wise to allow him to get away with an act of mass terrorism."
Chino folded her arms. She leaned back.
… I am so tired.
The truth is, I am so tired of being the victim, or being forced to clean up the messes of others.
I gave up everything for that bastard of a brother, who I love so much, and he's never done anything to show that he understands the gravity of it—does he think that I want to be hated by him? Does he think that just because he got away with it once, his righteousness will always be correct, always have no consequences?
This isn't a children's TV show! His actions… the consequences of them have always hurt me. So have father's. So have the actions of everyone around me. And those actions… so rarely hurt them, because I always try to avoid causing trouble to them.
I don't care what anyone says about me anymore. I don't care if I'm a dog, or a slave—
I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
I just want to live, with no need to care about anyone or anything.
"Do what you want," she said, surprising herself. "I don't really care. He can't expect me to keep on saving him—"
When he'll never recognise how much I feel like he's killing me.
Roget eyed her for a moment. Then, he nodded. "That settles it then." Thankfully, he did not ask the obvious questions, like 'don't you love your brother?' or 'will this affect your loyalty to Security?'
Yes. And yes.
"Can I go now?" Chino asked. She needed to find somewhere to sit down and stare at nothing for a bit.
"In a moment." Roget smiled. It was not a kind smile, despite his clear intentions for it to be so. "I have only heard good things about you from Kaname."
Right. Roget's daughter, and apparently Arisu's kid sister. Apparently, Roget had assigned her to work with Arisu, Chino and Makoto, for the same reason that all of them had been grouped together in the first place—they were all the youngest members of Security.
Chino… didn't mind Kaname. That was probably the extent of her interactions with that girl—they had worked together, and there were some things about that girl that didn't… quite fit, but that applied to pretty much all of them who had been cajoled into working for these miserable reasons.
"I have also heard about certain other things that you have done. The gall to go to the High Council and blackmail them to their faces… and to not back down at all. But to do so logically, so that you could still gain some benefits from it…"
Roget turned his head towards her.
"Have you told Arisu Kirijo yet? That the High Council were the ones that set up her father's downfall, and profited from it?" His lip twisted slightly. "That your father was the one who facilitated the transferral of money, and thus, knew about that injustice?"
"... I wasn't aware that it was your job to poke into our personal lives, sir," Chino said. No, she had never told Arisu that, because that would have involved explaining that the High Council had also already had an eye on Arisu. It would only have made the older girl blame herself for something that had never been her fault, and it would probably make Arisu hate the High Council even more.
(Arisu was too nice for that. No, Chino would carry that hatred for her, along with the bubbling fury that she felt for herself and Makoto. And whatever had driven Kaname to the state that she now existed in.)
"Don't want to burden her with the knowledge, then," Roget said. Chino frowned, and he smirked. "Very well. In that case, I know what you want."
"What I want?"
"You want to live a normal life, where nothing bothers you and you never have to think about anything," Roget said. "But you can never have that while this city is standing the way that it is."
"If the city changes, people will want to punish Security," Chino muttered.
"You can let me handle that," Roget said. He stood up, holding out a hand. He seemed to tower over her, at that moment. "I've been trying to set up a squad of Elite Officers for the last year. My first choice was, of course, Arisu Kirijo. But all other candidates have proved wanting. After a while, I think I've understood. The 'adults', the generation above you, they're failures. None of them have the attitude that I want, and they're too complacent to grow strong enough to fight the enemies that I will face in the future."
Chino watched him quietly.
"You can despise me all you like, Chino Otobashi," Roget said. "But you cannot deny it. You are tired of worrying with no end in sight. Leave your worries and thoughts to me. And use that unreadable, aimless coldness of yours. Give it to me so that I can aim it for you, and you can finally gain the peace you long for."
… how manipulative.
This wasn't for anyone's good but his own.
If she agreed, though…
(Would it be the same mistake as her childhood?)
No.
Because she knew better now. She knew what this meant.
Every time someone had recognised her skill, it had only caused her more pain. Just greedy people who saw a person to be used.
And this time, she would have no 'good' reason for choosing to be cruel. She was tired of protecting others, after all.
… she just really wanted the hope that she could stop caring about any of this.
"I'm fine with working only for you," Chino said, disguising her true feelings on the matter. "As long as you promise me that you will never lose to the High Council."
"The High Council will be removed from power the moment that I find the chance to change things," Roget said. "Do I have a deal with you?"
"... sure."
She could hold the shame just a while longer, if it meant that someday, it would go away.
(Roget would never fulfil his end of that deal. In the end, it would be Chino and Makoto who would carry out that fateful sentence, in the middle of the chaos in the city.)
(Chino had never intended to let Roget take the right to revenge that should have been hers anyway.)
(And for the first time, she could allow her anger to show itself, and it burned her enemies alive.)
Excerpt 4:
We conducted an interview with one of the members of Security who was recently promoted to its top ranks—a young woman, seventeen years of age. This is Miss Chino Otobashi. While no records can be found about her—Security has classified most of them, for the privacy of this lovely young lady.
When we asked her why she was given the promotion, she only had this to say.
"Director Roget recognised my skill. I suppose that's something that I'm used to. Skill is the only way to truly be seen in this city, after all."
"I aim to use this position for what I believe is right. I hope that everyone will be patient with me, as I figure out this position and the advantages that it will offer me in the future."
"I will treat others as they have treated me," she said, sounding every bit as graceful as a respected figure in our society should be.
File EO-03 (Boy Breaking Glass)
[Director's Notes: All excerpts in this file have been taken from articles that have since been redacted, to avoid inciting the people. This concerns a crime committed by the officer involved, which must remain unacknowledged for the sake of the city's reputation and that of the victim.]
Excerpt 1:
An assault occurred right in front of the High Council's building today. While [REDACTED] was walking along the street, he was attacked. Witnesses report that the assailant was a teenage boy with black hair, who proceeded to attack the victim relentlessly, despite numerous attempts to restrain him. This delinquent assailant was arrested by Security on the spot, while the severely injured [REDACTED] was immediately escorted to the hospital.
We await Security's judgement on the case. Surely, someone cannot be allowed to commit assault so brazenly in broad daylight and not be punished for it!
Five years ago:
"When we dismissed you from our presence, you should have taken that as mercy."
The black-haired boy slung his shackled wrists forward, and noted with some satisfaction that the brown-haired man with bulging eyes recoiled away from the bars. "Really?" He said. "You were the one that said that no punishment was necessary for that act. I simply replicated it."
"Then, you're saying—"
"I'm saying that I don't care if I lose my life for this," the boy replied. "But I had to do something to make you bastards see just how brutal he was. After all, you like to blind your eyes from the truth, right? As long as it doesn't happen to you, you can just preach that it's an overreaction."
He smiled. The blood that was still on his face glinted in the dim light coming from the ceiling above him.
"What I did to him… is less than what he did to me. And you told me that what he did to me didn't matter. So? Doesn't that mean that what I did doesn't matter either, by your definition? By your definition, you old fogey."
"That man will be in severe pain," Gray countered. "Don't you think that you were too extreme?"
"My family was put through so much pain too." The boy didn't back down. "Don't you think he deserved to be punished?"
A few days ago:
"Your shift's over, kid."
Makoto glanced up from the back of the shop. "Got it. Thanks, boss. Do I pick up the cans from the front?"
"Sure."
The black-haired boy stood up, picking up three cans of food—his payment for the day. He spotted a black kitten nearby, and he leaned down, tickling its chin. It meowed. He gently patted it on the top of its head. The boss looked over approvingly from the counter.
"Your parents have a good lad for their son," his boss said gruffly. "Most kids your age are just messing around with cards and not doing anything for their parents. You're a gentle one, aren't you?"
"... well, there's a lot of orphans," Makoto said. He gently rubbed the kitten's belly, before he moved away. The kitten watched him as he moved to the front and wrapped the three cans in a piece of cloth, so that he could carry them back. "I'm not interested in dueling, anyway."
"I've heard. I don't know how you manage it—they say you work six jobs?"
"Well, it's just carrying stuff and cleaning stuff, mainly. I'm just a kid—I'm not that busy."
"Hah. You have a good mind on you, boy. And you're surprisingly sweet too." The boss patted his shoulder. "Rest well now. It's hard to find kids as reliable as you."
Makoto waved to him, before he left the shop.
It was his sister's birthday today. The rest were preparing at home—Makoto had still decided to work though, because getting canned mangos for his sister's birthday was the most important thing. They might not have cake, but she should at least have something sweet.
And he'd gotten a candle too—those were rarer to find, but that was fine.
So, he just had to see. They had some apples at home, right? Maybe they could eat those fruits, just for today. They weren't that low on food yet.
What else…
His phone lit up. It was one of those relics—those thin phones that could barely support a call. His family had two, and he normally took one of them out with him to work. He picked up. "Hey, Momoi. Is everything—"
"Help!" His sister was crying, and Makoto's eyes widened immediately.
(The cans clattered to the ground, forgotten.)
"Where are you?"
His sister managed to get out the name of a shop that was close to the unofficial border between the Tops and the Commons. Had they been trying to buy something from a more tolerant shopkeeper? However, she then let out a scream over the phone. Makoto could hear someone talking in the background of the call—slurred words, a deep voice.
He kept on running towards his destination—his sister's screams ringing in his ears the entire time, until finally, she went silent, moments before he reached the shop in question.
(Those screams would never fade from his mind.)
He stumbled into the street, ignoring the looks from Tops all around him. Everyone was gathered and staring at something in the middle.
Makoto pushed his way past all of them.
The first thing that he smelled was the scent of alcohol. There was a cracked bottle on the ground, expensive wine staining the ground all around it.
And there, on the ground…
There was blood everywhere. There was a large dent in his father's head. That was where the majority of the blood had come from. His mother was in a similar state, but she was bleeding from the chest—a different bottle had stabbed her directly in the chest. His sister was collapsed on the ground, clearly hurt in a way that sent white hot rage burning through Makoto's chest.
There was a man leaning over, clearly drunk. He was fumbling on the ground for the bottle.
A murderer, and a bunch of people who had stood by the side and watched him kill people.
And what, they didn't matter? Because they were just Commons? Because their attacker was a Tops?
And then, for a moment, he was blinded by rage.
The stinging in his knuckles proved what came after.
"... what do you mean, I am under the obligation to cover this up?" Makoto said.
"Having it become known that one of the most altruistic Tops… shall we say, had a drunken escapade, would be bad for his reputation—"
"What do I care," Makoto said, "about his reputation?"
The man who had come to talk to him observed him quietly. Makoto did not know who he was, and he did not care. (The man had introduced himself as 'Gray', as though Makoto was supposed to care about that.)
"That bastard killed my parents," Makoto said. "He r…" The word was still too terrible for a fourteen-year-old to use. "Assaulted my sister. And you're not going to punish him. You're not going to do anything."
"You misunderstand us."
And you're gaslighting me.
("You're a gentle one," his boss had said.)
"Regardless, we hope that you will do the right thing."
He was left in the lobby, as the man headed upstairs.
("You're a gentle one.")
Makoto slammed his fist into the table. Pain burst forth in his knuckles. The table shook, and a vase fell off the table. Glass cracked and split, falling apart. The flowers fell limply on the ground, and water stained the carpet.
He stepped out of the building.
He felt hollow.
What could he even do at this point? His sister would never recover. His mother and father were…
And then, he saw that man again. Dressed in a suit and tie.
The man smiled at him.
The man. Smiled.
As though he hadn't recognised Makoto at all. As though he hadn't done the worst thing someone could do to another human being. As though he had done nothing wrong.
("You're a gentle one.")
(Momoi screamed.)
(Something cracked within him.)
"Excuse me. Could you move out of the way?" The man said with some disdain.
And Makoto punched him straight in the face.
In a normal situation, that wouldn't faze a fully grown adult man. However, the High Council's building was surrounded by flights of stairs.
That single punch made the man lose balance—and he fell.
He fell off the stairs, rolling down.
Makoto walked after him. His head was buzzing.
People around him were staring at him in horror.
Makoto registered a pain in his foot. There was a piece of glass peeking out of his shoe.
He looked at the fragment. He looked back at the groaning man on the ground.
The image of that single, terrible moment, repeated in his mind.
"... I'll gladly die for this," he said. "But I'll make sure you can never live the way you do again."
He yanked the piece of glass from his shoe, leaned down, and—ignoring the cuts on his fingers—stabbed it straight down where it would hurt the most.
When the man screamed—
Makoto stared at him quietly.
And then, because it still didn't feel like it was enough—his fist slammed straight into the man's skull. And then, again and again.
Seeing blood was both satisfying and terrifying.
"It seems that you won't stay quiet," Gray said.
Makoto stared at him. Gray turned to the nearby guards.
"You've already received your orders," he said. "Brand him until the conditions are met."
Makoto's eyes widened.
(As prepared as he had thought he was, he was still only fourteen years old.)
And then, one of the guards carried one of those machines into the room.
There had been some speculation among the Commons that when the High Council had designed the machine that placed criminal marks on people, they had intentionally asked the person who designed it to make it hurt. Many described it as an agonising experience.
None of that had prepared him for this.
The explosive pain that burst through his body, burning through his skin.
He collapsed to the ground, the yellow mark burned directly below his collarbone. One of the guards shoved him over, pressing a foot to the top of his head.
Didn't most criminal marks get put on the face? Why was—
The machine was pressed to his bare skin again, burning yet another mark into his back. And then another and another, until it felt like his bones were on fire, like he was falling apart at the seams, roughly torn to pieces.
He was sure that he was howling. Howling and screaming like some kind of beast. Unable to do anything but beg and beg that it would stop hurting.
But they wouldn't stop.
To them, he was not a person. He was just something lesser. A beast, perhaps.
(And the person that he was—already cracked under the stress of his situation—shattered completely, into something far more unrecognisable.)
When they were done, Gray re-entered the room.
"I trust that you'll be far more cooperative now," he said.
Makoto glared at him. The criminal marks were on parts of him that might not be visible to someone else, but the pain of how they had been burned into him remained. And he would always know that they were there. They were stains and cracks on his being.
"Or should I call the guards in again?"
"What do you want?" Makoto snapped.
"The High Council…" Gray paused, clearly for dramatic effect. This fucker. "Does not wish to get rid of a useful resource. And as it stands, we have a convenient bargaining point. What will happen to your sister if you choose to waste away, Makoto Toyama?"
Momoi…
"You know the deal now, don't you?"
Gray walked in through the unlocked door. Makoto tensed up.
"We need someone who can carry out proper dirty work," Gray continued.
So… what was this? Some sick power play? Scarring him for the sake of intimidating him into working for them, but keeping those marks from being visible so that no one would ever suspect that he was a criminal, so that they could use him?
"I won't," Makoto replied. "I'll beat the crap out of the guilty… but don't expect me to hurt anyone innocent."
"Whatever we decide is 'guilty' is always guilty."
As if I trust you.
But I don't think you're leaving me a choice anyway.
Fuck, everything hurts.
"You want to keep your hands clean and avert your eyes?" Makoto replied. "Fine. Have it your way, bastards. Give Momoi exemption from the law that says that hospitals don't treat Commons. And I'll do all the things that you don't want to look at. But—I still need the world to know what he did."
It was a comparatively weak demand. But the pain had weakened him, and—
A part of him was still too kind to ask for more.
He despised it.
Where was his defiance? Where was any kind of cruelty that could let him fight back against them?
"Fine," Gray said after a moment of pause. "But it'll be done in our way."
Excerpt 2:
It has come to light that the victim of the assault outside the High Council's headquarters, [REDACTED], has committed some shady dealings, which resulted in the accidental death of two Commons. Knowing this, the High Council will be keeping greater watch on [REDACTED], in order to ensure that his negligence of his personal wellbeing will not cause injury to others again—
Makoto crumpled up the newspaper and flung it into the corner of the street, before he set it on fire. Even that didn't feel like enough, but what else could he do to it?
Accident. Right.
After a moment, he picked up a bucket of dirty water, pouring it over the flames. He might be angry, but he didn't want to potentially ruin the lives of others by burning down their property.
He sighed and leaned back against the wall.
Fuck. He really wanted a smoke right about now. (It was a bad habit that he had picked up in the days following his parents' death—at the very least, it numbed both the physical and emotional sores that he had suffered.)
And that was when he met Chino Otobashi.
"Well, you don't have any criminal marks. So clearly, you're doing something right."
Makoto grimaced internally, but he made sure that he didn't let on anything about the marks burned across his torso—though they seemed to burn with pain briefly, yet again.
Once the girl left, he headed off.
On the way back, though…
He bumped into a small black kitten.
The kitten meowed at him. Makoto glanced at it, recognising it—it was the same kitten from the shop the other day. The kitten moved closer to him, sniffing at his shoe—before it cuddled up to him.
It was so unexpected that Makoto just froze there, unable to move.
.. did it recognise him?
Even through the smoke and soot and blood, did this kitten still recognise him?
The kitten meowed.
Makoto sat down, because his legs felt awfully fragile all of a sudden. He crossed his arms over his knees, leaning forward into them. The kitten shifted closer to him.
Despite everything, am I still the same person?
Does that mean I was always capable of being like this?
Slowly, he raised his hand—beginning to tentatively pet the kitten on the head. It purred, leaning on his leg.
And slowly, Makoto was unable to fight off the tears from his eyes.
The truth was, he had been proud to be thought of as a kind person. It was far too difficult to be a kind person in the circumstances of growing up here, but he had wanted so desperately to be a kind person. In another world, he might even have wanted to join those growing groups that talked about revolution against the city—about fairness, about the importance of justice.
But he felt too crushed.
They've killed my spirit, he realised. I might insult them and talk back to them. But I don't think I can fight them anymore.
I don't think I have the courage to fight anymore.
I don't recognise myself anymore, even if it does.
When he finally opened his eyes, the small cat meowed at him.
"Want to come home with me?" He asked.
The kitten, of course, didn't understand. But it followed behind him anyway, so that was a rare win.
Three years ago:
Makoto generally kept his criminal marks well-hidden. So it was only an accident that he ended up exposing them, in the end. He and his new co-worker had been on a job, and then, it had started raining. Kaname had let them to the nearest building, shoving open the door, and they had taken shelter inside it. It was empty and abandoned—not the home of anyone that they'd have to explain themselves to, thankfully.
"Tch." Makoto glanced out of the open, cracked window. Water was already spraying in with the wind. "We're going to be stuck for a while."
The response was silence, naturally.
Then, there was a hesitant poke to his side—Kaname was closer than he had realised that she was.
"What?" He asked, turning around.
Kaname gestured to his shirt. He glanced down—
Ah. Fuck.
He usually favoured wearing white—it was the colour of most of his clothes, anyway, and white clothes could only be washed along with other white clothes, so it just made sense to keep to the trend at a certain point.
However, it did mean that when it rained, the shirt became somewhat see-through—exposing the yellow marks beneath it.
"I'd appreciate your silence on the manner," he snarked—a joke in poor taste, but an attempt at levity nonetheless.
Kaname seemed unamused—but then again, she always was. She tugged at his sleeve, gesturing for him to sit down.
"Huh? Why?"
She signed two words—Makoto was getting better at understanding that now, through sheer necessity. 'Try. Remove.'
"What? You can do that?"
A shrug. Makoto gave up and sat down—and she tugged at the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slightly to see one of the marks that was burned into his side.
(His face was burning slightly, but he promptly tried to ignore it.)
Kaname clicked her tongue. She tugged her bag over her shoulder, pulling out a strange needle, a small bottle of saline water and… a lighter?
"I hope you're not planning on setting me on fire."
She shot him an unimpressed glance for a moment, before she shook her head. She lifted the lighter and pressed the trigger on it for a brief moment, sending a brief burst of heat around it—the criminal mark started to itch again. She then put it down, and gently began to poke at the edges of the mark with the needle. Makoto watched with fascination—there were a few times where her needle pricked him slightly, but even so… he could tell that something was different about the part that she was working on.
"How does that work?"
Kaname raised an eyebrow, which was fair. Asking the girl who couldn't talk to explain what was probably a long and complicated process was a terrible idea. Still though, even as the rain echoed in the background, the two of them stayed there, mostly quiet.
Eventually, Kaname flicked out the needle, and a tiny piece of the criminal mark fell off his skin—but there were some small, bleeding areas on his skin. That was clearly what the saline water was meant for though—to disinfect those wounds.
"If it took you over an hour for that tiny bit, it'll take you days to get one off, and months to get them all off," Makoto said. "No need to waste your time."
A shrug. Then, after a moment, clearly deciding that it was too much trouble to sign what she wanted to explain, Kaname reached for her duel disk. After typing for a bit, the duel disk spoke for her. "Then I'll give you all my rainy days until it's done."
Despite the fact that it was text-to-speech, and thus there was no emotion in the voice, Makoto could see that she was genuine about it.
"... fuck," he murmured. "Fine. If you want to waste your time, I can't stop you."
'What. Happened?'
The words caught on his tongue.
Kaname gestured to the rain—reminding him that they'd be stuck here for a while, anyway. Then, she got right back to work, even as Makoto watched her. Her hair fell in front of her face, but her gaze was so trained on him that she didn't seem to notice.
(For a moment, he thought about reaching out for her hair and tucking it behind her ear, but he felt unexpectedly nervous about it.)
So he just watched her, even as she picked apart more flakes of the criminal mark.
It was strangely peaceful. For all that the pricks of the needle should hurt, he didn't really mind them. They felt like soft puffs of breath on his skin. Instead, he glanced at the mask and eyepatch.
It wasn't in character for someone like this to care about aesthetics. So, that meant…
"What about you?" He asked. "Do you plan on getting yours removed?"
Kaname blinked.
"You… have them too, right? Isn't that why you cover your face?"
There was a complicated shift of her head, before she shook it.
"So not criminal marks, but… there is something." Makoto hummed. "If someday, you decide to remove that mask… you're still you, you know. But I get the need to hide."
She breathed in sharply—quietly. Then, she nodded.
And that was really all that she needed to do to respond.
The next day at work, there was a dark green jacket, neatly folded, waiting for him at his table.
He took it without a word, and waited for the next rainy day.
Suddenly, he had something to look forward to.
"Hey, Momoi."
His sister tilted his head up to look at him. There were wires and a catheter and—in the end, it was still so hard to look at her. And really, Makoto hated that thought. None of this was Momoi's fault at all. This older sister of his, who had always looked forward to the future so much, who had been far kinder than him… she hadn't deserved what had happened to her at all.
He was the coward, for still being unable to face what had happened to his family to this day. Only able to act out in violence, because if he thought any longer about what he had seen—
He took a seat next to her. Her eyes opened slightly more, even as he averted his gaze.
The only way to help his sister recover fully—and even then, it was only a small chance—was for a complex surgery to be performed on her. The problem? The High Council could lift the law and allow his sister to be treated in a public hospital, but in the city, most surgeons worked independently of hospitals.
No self-respecting surgeon would take on an operation for a Commons, he had been told.
"You…"
"Yeah, Momoi?"
His sister reached out, patting his shoulder—a weak touch, but somehow, it felt heavier than it should. "You look… different."
"From usual? I haven't gotten a haircut in a while."
"No. You look…" Momoi smiled. "A little more alive than the last time I saw you."
A little more alive.
Well…
That wasn't wrong.
"If someday there's a chance," Makoto said, "I want to figure out a way to get you out of this city. To a place where you can be treated, and start to live your life properly again. That's what I want for you."
"And… what about you?"
Makoto thought about dainty fingers gently chipping away at his criminal marks, about rain on the window and a cup of tea to warm up on those days. He thought about how ugly the city was, and how much he still boiled in frustration at it.
"I'm not leaving this city," he said simply. "Not ever."
Not even if it would make me happier.
This place is so suffocating, but if I leave, I'm leaving it in the hands of others.
I have to make sure that this city suffers and changes. I'd rather die than leave it as it is, and let others continue to be hurt by it.
And…
"Everything I want is here," he continued. "I know exactly what my future looks like."
I want to burn all of the people who thought they could live bathed in the sun, and leave so little light for anyone else to find.
"... be careful with the path you're choosing, Makoto," his sister said. "I worry that… you won't be happy."
He reached out, squeezing her hand—mindful not to touch her IV by accident. "I love you, Momoi," he said. "But you have to understand. This path is the only thing that will let me reclaim my happiness again. I… will never be happy until it's fixed."
Momoi watched him. "So you have hope that it can change now?" She murmured. "It'll take a long time."
"... it will," he agreed. "But… I'll just have to take it a step at a time. Day by day, and bide my time." He smirked to himself. "... my rainy days are already saved for a different kind of hope, but… I guess I can give the rest to this."
Two years ago:
"Let me get this straight," Makoto said. "You got my sister's medical bills transferred to you."
"Correct," Roget said.
Makoto scoffed. He had been paying those medical bills himself—the only thing that the High Council had done was give his sister the right to be treated in the first place. Everything else was out of his own pocket—another leash to force him to keep working for them. "How generous of you, sir. So, what illegal shit are you trying to bribe me to do?"
"Nothing so gauche." Roget tapped the table. "I want you to stop doing anything for the High Council. Work only for me."
"If you know my circumstances, then you know why that's not possible," Makoto shot back.
"Please, don't be so naive. You're already seventeen. If the High Council tried to take away your sister's right to be treated now, it would mean exposing the fact that they gave her that right in the first place." Roget shrugged. "Of course, that would allow for investigation into whatever other times that they might have flouted the law to benefit a specific group of people."
Makoto eyed him. The way that he was talking… "You're not one of the High Council's dogs at all," he said.
"As far as they are concerned, I am. And for now, so are you." Roget smirked at him. "What do you think about helping me to change this city from within? Of toppling all those who have contributed to the struggles of you and the people that you care for?"
And well—
There was an obvious answer to that.
"I don't trust you," Makoto said. "But you're speaking all the right words."
And really, that was dangerous. People that knew how to speak were the best puppet masters of all.
He relaxed in his chair. "So if someday, council member Gray Mettere shows up in an alleyway…"
Roget's eyes sparkled with amusement. "It'd be an unfortunate accident, and I'm sure that the explanation won't matter," he said, confirming that he'd read Makoto's files.
And within him, the monster that had been born on the day of that incident stirred, still perfectly awake.
"... well then, boss," Makoto said, leaning back, "I'm at your service. Who do I take down for you first?"
"I'm sure that I can think of a few things," Roget said.
File EO-04 (No Longer Human)
[Director's Notes: Further investigation to be conducted. Most of these are my personal notes—there is nothing recorded about her in any capacity, not until I found her.]
Excerpt 1:
I met the girl when I went to the orphanage the other day, after searching through the records. She's a very interesting one. At first, I planned to adopt the boy with the same face as Yuri—after extensive testing and training, he would have become a useful warrior to use in my plans to protect myself and establish myself in this space that is so far from home. However, the boy resisted quite a lot, insisting on a nonsensical idea that he wanted to stay in that rundown shack. Quite honestly, I was shuddering at the state of it, just standing there.
Then, the boy tried to hit me when I stated that that orphanage was quite pathetic. Of course, that was a good way to secure what I wanted—a criminal record and arrest would make that boy far easier to control. However, then…
That girl showed up.
Three years ago:
"Don't insult Martha and everyone—"
The door shut, cutting off the boy's protests. The white-haired girl walked over to the table. Right now, they were the only two there.
"You said that you had a message from the Arcadia Movement for me?" Roget said. He had just been about to charge the boy with assault, but then, this girl had shown up with a handwritten note, requesting a private moment to speak with him. "What is it?"
A piece of paper slid over, marks made on it with dark stains of ash and charcoal. 'That was a lie.' Then, under it. 'Leave my brother alone. If you want a strong duelist that you can use… Yugo is too headstrong for that, unless you break his will, and in that case, he won't be as strong.'
"... hah. Are you saying to use you, then?"
A sharp nod.
"Hmm. Intriguing proposal, if that's how you want to save him. You don't have the eyes of a child." Roget tilted his head, but he was considering her words. "Adopting a Commons child would be bad for my reputation though." He had only considered the boy because he looked like Yuri, which had played a large part in the possibility of intimidating his opponents in the future. "And if I want to advance further—"
A slip of paper slid across the table. Roget lifted it, reading out the words. "'Not if I'm the strongest.' You… is that arrogance, or genuine confidence?" This girl didn't seem like the kind to exaggerate anything about herself. And if she was truly the strongest…
He'd have to test that, but…
The girl wrote down something else, pushing it over to him. 'You aren't from here.'
A chill ran down Roget's spine for a brief moment.
He should just get rid of her. Even if she was a child, even if there was no conceivable way that she could guess where exactly he came from… she was a risk just because she could tell that he wasn't a native to the City.
But…
Well, if his experiments worked out, he could certainly use a strong duelist under his thumb.
"Well," he said after a moment, "let's see if you're telling the truth." He stepped back, raising his duel disk. "Prove to me that you're the strongest."
… this strength…
This is… the same as that girl's level. That girl who, along with Ryo Marufuji, mentored one of the fiercest duelists of Academia.
She would've laid Yuri flat on the ground.
And if she's a Psychic Duelist as well…
"... very well," Roget said, accepting his loss with grace—only because he was gleeful over what he had just discovered. "But why would you offer that to me?"
The girl didn't answer him. She just looked at him.
"Very well. I will adopt you instead, on one condition." Roget raised a finger. "Lower your mask."
The girl tensed up slightly.
"To ensure that you are not hiding something."
The girl stared at him.
"How strong is your determination to achieve whatever goal you're using me for?" He asked.
Slowly, the girl pulled off her surgical mask. She wasn't able to stop herself from cringing away from him for a moment—her fingers trying to cover the scars that formed a dark web across the bottom of her pale face.
"... I see," Roget said, averting his eyes instinctively. They were the kind of scars that no one could ever look directly at. "The deal is complete then."
Six years ago:
If there was one thing that those scars on her face had burned into her mind, just from the way that people looked at her when they saw them, it was that her pain was the ugliest thing about her.
That her pain was so ugly that it was hard to look at.
That was the reason why Kaname had stolen one of Martha's old black masks the moment that she had entered the orphanage for the first time, stringing it around the bottom half of her face. She had been a kid then, and her decision-making had been very reckless, but…
She didn't want anyone to see them.
It was painfully ingrained in her.
(If someone sees my face, they'll see my scars.)
(If they see my scars, they'll know how ugly I am on the inside.)
(I need people to stop looking at me.)
She had slipped up once or twice, of course. Martha had seen her scars when she first arrived at the orphanage, and the horror in the woman's eyes was something that she would never forget to this day. Arisu had seen them once when Kaname was washing her face in the rain, and after that, she had hidden away every time that it was necessary to take off that mask.
In reality, probably everyone knew about the scars—except Yugo, who was just oblivious enough to never have noticed, and just sweet enough to stop asking about the mask after it was clear that she wouldn't answer.
"You know," Arisu said one day, "it's okay."
Kaname blinked at her.
"Your face," Arisu explained. "It's okay."
But it wasn't.
No one could ever stand to look at her because of those scars. Better to cover them up so that at least, it would be a mystery instead of pity.
(She had no pride anymore. She hadn't had pride since she was born—she was never given the chance to develop her own identity. Pride meant being able to stand up for herself as a person, right? But she could never respect herself because—)
Sometimes, she felt that she was fundamentally broken.
Without the ability to connect to herself as a person, for all that she felt, it was hard to allow herself to react to anything.
Kaname didn't say any of that. She reached down to the ends of her dark leggings—another piece of old clothing that Martha had given her.
(Martha was the only one to have seen all her scars. But thinking about that only made her more afraid that someday, the anomaly would be fixed—that Martha would wake up and realise what kind of ugly, monstrous child she had taken into her home that day.)
(Her father's laughter still echoed in her ears.)
She rolled them up, ignoring the sharp bursts of panic that threatened to tear apart her heart and ribs—because it wasn't like she could show how afraid she was.
Arisu breathed in sharply when the first thin scar was revealed. Kaname immediately rolled them back down.
"... every time I think of what must have happened to you before you came to Martha's orphanage," Arisu said, "I get so… angry."
Kaname blinked. Why?
"Why?" Arisu said, seeming to guess her confusion. "Because you're my sister, idiot."
Kaname took a quick moment to breathe—she managed to avoid shuddering, because the feeling of simple joy that the words brought to her scared her.
I'm not supposed to be happy like this.
This is just a dream. A delusion that I might belong.
Everything passes. Someday I'll wake up from this too.
Excerpt 2:
After some investigation on my part and getting the girl to have a proper medical checkup for the first time in her life, I have encountered something interesting. The girl is blind in one eye—it seems that she sustained an eye injury three years prior to my adoption of her, and she never got it properly treated, since Commons cannot receive medical treatment in this city.
The girl refuses to tell me the full story. I have asked Arisu Kirijo, whose family frequented that orphanage, if she knows the details of what happened, but she stated that the only one who knows what actually happened is Mizuchi herself.
Still, it's a very severe injury. I offered her a prosthetic, but she flatly refused it. She won't budge no matter what I say—strange for her, she's never been quite so obstinate about anything else. And because it is so serious, I highly doubt that she would hide it, unless the one who did it was someone that she cared for. Thus, her assailant was likely—
"—aname!"
Kaname spun around, seeing one of the younger children at the orphanage running up to her. The boy seemed scared, so Kaname leaned down, listening to him.
"Yugo's acting weird!"
… well, that didn't bode well. Yugo was always acting weird, so if it was just a single moment of strangeness, they wouldn't look so confused. She went into the house—
And Yugo was there, and his eyes were glowing.
Okay. What.
This would be a good time to have Rin around.
She blinked. Where had that thought come from? She shook her head, before she walked forward, gently reaching out a hand towards Yugo.
"You're not her," Yugo said, his voice slightly darker. "You impostor."
… huh?
There was no one else around. Kaname patted his shoulder, looking him in the eyes. Was this some kind of psychotic episode? Did they need to figure out a way to get medicine, or…
"Don't touch me!" Yugo shook her off—much to her shock. "Get away from me!"
She signed three words. You're not yourself.
Yugo snorted. "You can tell? Then I need to make sure you can't."
And then, his fingers raked through the air—
Kaname felt no pain, just a rushing sensation, something flowing down her face. She fell to the ground, clutching at her face. Her vision was dizzy all of a sudden—black spots dancing, staining them, even as her head wobbled, a strange blurriness clouding everything.
Everything, except Yugo tossing his head back and screaming.
Despite the fact that she felt like she was about to fall apart, Kaname charged forward, wrapping her arms around him, knocking him to the ground—holding him there as he screamed, soothing him by drawing her fingers through his hair.
(In the back of her mind, her father laughed again.)
(You realise? Loving is breaking! You break everything you touch! You're like me!)
Then, Rin emerged, her bracelet glowing, and the glow in Yugo's eyes faded. He blinked once—and then, he went quiet, suddenly—his eyes shutting.
"Your eye…" Rin brought a hand to her mouth. She didn't seem to realise that her bracelet had been glowing at all. "What happened?"
Kaname looked at her.
… ah. She's the one that helped him there.
I thought so. It would be stupid if someone like me could help others.
She let go of Yugo, and then she headed outside.
She had to wash her face.
And she had to make sure that no one made a big deal about this. If they knew that Yugo had done this to her, they would never trust him again—he would lose his home.
(She was already far too used to people that she loved hurting her. And that… had not been intentional on Yugo's part.)
(She needed him to be okay.)
Rin had saved him. So the best way to protect him was to make sure that it looked like nothing had happened.
The first time that Yugo asked her about the eyepatch, she had simply patted him on the head and said nothing about it. He had taken it as an aesthetic decision.
Good.
No one else told him what had happened either. Rin had been the hardest to convince about that, but in the end, she agreed too.
And Kaname took the parts that only she had seen, and buried them deep within herself.
And there they would stay, hidden like the only evidence of that terrible day—
Her mangled, destroyed eye, clawed out by fingers that for a moment, had resembled a dragon's claws.
Excerpt 3:
Furthermore, she does not talk about her experience with the Arcadia Movement. Even so, from the scarce details that I can find, it seems that her choice to go there was motivated by an attempt to be stronger as well. However, in context of the kind of man that Divine was before his death, I do believe that his intentions for her were not the most honourable, in the end.
In the end, joining the Arcadia Movement had been her own choice too—a way to take a break from being at home, a way to separate herself from Yugo, when the horror of being attacked by her own brother still wouldn't fade.
(After the fourth time that she couldn't stop herself from flinching at her brother's hug, she decided that she needed space. She didn't want to explain her feelings.)
She hated being afraid of one of the people that she loved the most in the world.
So she worked with Divine. That was fine. He was rather sweet—and he clearly seemed to care for all of the Psychic Duelists there.
… the truth was, that was a lie. She knew that. Divine was… nothing like that. He was a manipulative, cruel man who was only concerned with gathering weapons for his future revolution. But it was easier to switch things around in her head.
She was not raised as a person who could accept kindness easily. To be honest, kindness—sweet words, hugs, all those things—they scared her. She had very little idea of how to deal with them. Cruelty—a punch, mocking words, manipulation—she knew those a lot better.
So she accepted it when Divine told her that she wasn't using her powers to her full potential.
He shoved a deck of cards into her hands—healing and fire spells, such as Rain of Mercy and Sparks.
"You need to practice," he said.
And the only way to practice with spells like those, of course, was to be hurt. To hurt yourself with the sparks of flames and to heal yourself with the drops of light.
Kaname did not want to be seen like that.
So she let herself hide in her room, away from everyone—
(Away from the possibility of being loved, away from the possibility of someone acknowledging her pain, because that was far too terrifying.)
"Why didn't you tell me that Divine was hurting you?" Aki would ask years later, when everything was done with. And Kaname would have no answer that she could give.
For those moments, she would think, I was home again.
Everything passes. I knew that'd be over too, someday.
In the present, in the Synchro Dimension:
As Carly finished presenting the files to them, all of them were quiet—
Except one.
Yugo would have collapsed if Rin wasn't supporting him. It was still a very close thing. "It was for me," he breathed out in horror. "Roget wanted to conscript me for Security. She took my place."
She took the hatred that should have been mine.
And Arisu… and those two comrades of theirs, who were jerks but who had gone through so much shit.
"It's unfortunate," Reiji said. "And from what I can tell… all of these crimes, except one, predate Roget. Roget might have been the first to call them Elite Officers, but the ones who took advantage of others' tragedies and lies were the people in charge of this city before they came."
"Those monsters," Shun said, sounding absolutely furious. "They weren't even above using people as their unwilling puppets… blackmailing them…"
"They used people's tragedies against them," Reiji said. "... intelligent, if… heartless."
Shun shot him a look that said 'oh, you're one to talk'.
"Um…" Carly bit her lip. "There's still one more thing in Mizuchi's file. I don't know if I should say it though…"
"What is it?" Reiji asked.
"... a paternity test report."
Yugo blinked. "But… those are the files that show why those guys are all working for Roget, right? So… Roget found Kaname's real dad? But what's that got to do with this?"
"It's… the person is…"
"Who is it?" Yugo asked.
Carly glanced away.
"Yugo," Yuya called from nearby, slightly nervous but trying to keep the peace.
"Who is it?" Yugo shouted.
Carly finally sighed. "I don't think you can let it go, so I'll just say it. It's a paternity test with 99.97% confirmation. In other words, it's basically a perfect match. It's a breach of privacy to say it, but it's a test, in essence, that confirms that—"
Fourteen years ago:
The girl's parents were arguing. The girl watched quietly from the side. Her father was laughing and laughing. Her mother was working at her father's criminal marks, scolding him with her high-pitched voice.
(Hopefully, they would forget that she was here.)
Then, there was a thud, and blood splashed across her face.
Her mother slowly slid to the ground. She lay there, and her usually loud, screeching voice vanished completely.
The girl slowly lifted to her head to where her father was cackling. And then, there was a low, whistling sound, as the water in the kettle finally came to a boil, interrupting his mad laughter.
He was speaking. The girl didn't understand—nor did she want to understand. He took a step towards her.
The girl stepped back, staring at him.
And then the kettle swung through the air, and—
(And she died again, like she had died so many times before. Or at least, she felt that she should have died there.)
(Then again, that was how he always made her feel.)
(No longer human, just a ghost.)
The girl didn't know how long it took before she managed to stagger out of the back of the house. Her father was still laughing from behind her. Her face was in such agony that she couldn't really breathe.
(He had not tried to hit her with it. That was the worst part. The water had been boiling. The hot metal had stuck to her face, and she had torn herself away to run.)
And then, she heard crying from nearby. A baby's crying.
She turned the corner, bracing herself on the wall. There, she found a baby with a tuft of blue hair on his head, crying his eyes out.
Laughter from behind her, and tears in front of her…
She would take the tears over the laughter.
She gently knelt down next to the small child, making quiet, soothing noises. When she lifted him up, he made a cooing sound.
The girl glanced around. She walked on and on—
And she found someone, after a while of wandering.
Someone—a woman who would stare at her in shock.
What were the words?
(Her father's shouts of "you're so noisy!" repeated themselves in her head.)
Still though, she managed to get those two words out, as strangled and awful as they sounded.
For the first time, she made a decision all on her own.
I want to live myself; otherwise it's better not to live at all.
"Help him," she said softly.
And the truth was, she was so far from home that she shouldn't be able to hear it anymore. But she could still hear it. She could still hear his laughter, as though he was right behind her, standing in her shadow.
(She wouldn't stop hearing it, not even fourteen years later.)
(And she hated the part of her that made her reach to him, when she saw him in that broken state so many years later.)
"... Kaname Mizuchi's birth father is… Sergey Volkov."
Yugo looked like he'd been punched in the gut.
Kaname looked at the man in the room. He was not laughing—he wasn't even conscious, from what she'd heard.
Even now, looking at him made the scars across her face burn. And all those other scars covering her, and—
She hated him, and she loved him.
What an awful, all-consuming feeling.
She could hear his laughter in her head again. It blocked out her own mind, her own thoughts.
And it was only because there was no one around that she could tighten her grip, fold her arms around herself and brace herself. She would feel the faint sensation of wanting to cry, and hold it all in anyway.
She would not give this man the pleasure of seeing her cry.
"I came here today," she said slowly. She shut her eyes, because looking at him was making it harder for her. "Because there are words I need to say to you. I have spent the last fourteen years of my life saving up the strength to say them. I never had the strength back then. And this is… the last chance I have."
She rehearsed the words in her head over and over. Her voice still sounded like an off-pitch, stilted mess. Her throat ached just at those few words.
"I don't know," she said, "a love that is without…"
She choked out the words.
Even now, was she still struggling?
No. She had to say it now. She had to say it, even though he wasn't listening, because otherwise, she could never move on.
"Fear," she managed. "In the end, even those who don't mean to… still hurt me." Even Yugo had done so, even if he wasn't in his right mind. She coughed. "But… even though it was so painful. Even though I wanted to end it all so many times… I still kept pushing on. I still wanted to live."
She almost opened her eyes, before she tightly squeezed them shut again.
"I hate you," she said—and if she could say nothing else, she could say that much. She had thought it so many times over the years that the words found themselves out, far more easily than anything else.
"I can't think straight when I'm around you," she said. "You killed me in that house, and I'll… never change. A person never forgets the moment that they die. You doomed me to become just like you."
She touched her missing eye. She thought about that glowing prosthetic eye on his face, in the opposite position of her own injury.
The truth was, Roget had offered her an operation that would fix her eye. She had flatly refused—at that point, she had already known what her father had become. That damnable eye. She would not look any more like him—she would not, she would not, she would not!
It took her a moment to find her voice again.
"Even now… I just want to live well. And I…" Her heart hurt so terribly, and she felt. She didn't stop feeling it over and over, even if her appearance rarely matched her heart. "I wanted to be a good p-person, too. I wanted to see what it would feel like to forgive you. Because that—that's what g-good people do, r-right?..."
She couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. She was so alone right now. In this room, so alone, she felt like she was going to fall apart—
An arm gently wrapped around her. She nearly shoved the person away—her eyes opened wide.
"Hey." Makoto said. "You were taking a while. I came to look for you." His voice was rough. When he looked forward, there was fury in his eyes. "I couldn't stand aside when you were struggling like that."
Kaname glanced away from him.
"I didn't want to interrupt," he said. "But I couldn't walk away either. Sorry about that."
Kaname breathed out. She nodded. She signed swiftly.
"You need to finish what you were saying?" Makoto nodded. "I get that. Go on." He turned and began to walk back towards the door.
Kaname grabbed his arm.
… I want to be a person that can trust others.
That's why I gave Yugo that book. Because I'm so scared, but I want to trust him to still…
What, love me?
I'm not loveable. That's the whole point.
She carried on talking before she could doubt her choice. "After I saw what father… what Director Roget did to you, I gave you back your name. I wanted to try to be better. I wanted to see if you'd be… better." She squeezed her eyes shut again. "But you're the same. You're still the same. You just keep making me… miserable. And I'm so scared of you."
She would not cry in front of him. She would not. She was not that child!
"I want to live… so I hope you die. I hope you die! I'm too scared to kill you…"
But she just kept looking for someone that would fill that void in her heart. Martha had done her best, but there were so many children for her to take care of. There was always a part of Kaname that had yearned for a person who would care for her more than others. She'd been looking for someone like that.
A part of her had wanted to find it in Roget. Because she had seen him and thought yes, this is the closest to my father that I will ever get again.
And now that she was older, she could look back on that sentiment and realise how horrifying it was, for her to try and find someone like her abuser.
Even so, she still couldn't help it. That sickly love had infected her—and she still loved both of these terrible fathers in her life.
"In front of you… any s-step that I've taken towards recovering… falls apart." She wrapped an arm around herself, though with her other hand, she still gripped onto Makoto's arm like a lifeline.
I've spent fourteen years waiting. I didn't say it when I arrested him. I didn't say it when he woke up. I just kept gritting my teeth and bearing it.
I have to say it.
I have to say everything now.
She searched for the next line that she had rehearsed.
"I become the same scared child that I was back then. And I do not like that version of me—I hate the 'me' that I become when I'm in front of you. Even so, I want you to vanish. So I'll be free to become someone different—someone that can be good, without feeling like I'm…"
She forced out the next word. The final word.
"Drowning."
Finished, she took a step away. Only when she looked away did she finally open her eyes. She stormed towards the door, dragging Makoto along with her. She slammed the door shut behind them, with far more force than was necessary.
"... oi, Mizuchi—"
She let go of his arm. She walked to the corner of the corridor.
She closed her eyes, crumpled against the wall and held her arm against her eyes. Despite her best effort, tears came from the edges of her eyes. Despite her eye injury, she had not lost the ability to cry in that eye—she could not see from it, but for some reason, this useless function still remained. And it hurt to cry—it made the scar of her eye act up painfully from the tension.
Damn it. Damn it, she was acting like a child, noisily whining in the corner again—
Arms wrapped around her gently.
"My eyes are shut," Makoto said, his voice matter-of-fact. "So I won't see anything. You can do anything you want."
Kaname shook her head. She was about to get up—they still had things to do—but he didn't let her get up.
"The boss can fucking wait, Mizuchi." Makoto's eyes were actually shut, but his tone was chiding. "Calm yourself. You're not breathing right."
She buried her head in his shoulder.
It was far too much.
She tapped his side, and once he'd opened his eyes, she signed a few words to get across what she needed to say.
(She was taking a chance, in a sense—trusting someone with her feelings and her painful vulnerability. She never allowed anyone to see her feel in this human way.)
"... you fought your brother, then one of Academia's commanders, and now you're here, trying to deal with your father," Makoto interpreted.
'You. Know?'
"I never opened your file," Makoto said. "But yeah, I heard you talking earlier. Which, once again… sorry."
'Why?'
"You didn't open mine either." Makoto glanced at her. Kaname nodded at the statement. "I wanted to tell you myself. And I wanted you to tell me yourself… though it seems that's gone out of the window."
Makoto patted her back gently.
"I've never seen you break down like that. And I've never heard you talk." He hesitated. "... I don't care that he's your father. That just makes him worse… it doesn't affect how I see you. It won't affect how anyone sees you either."
Breathe.
She reached up to her mask.
"Hey—no." Makoto immediately turned his head away, shutting his eyes. "If you need to breathe more easily, just let me know when you're done—"
No.
She wanted to choose, for once, to show them to someone other than Roget. (And for once, to show them out of trust, not desperation.)
So she pressed a finger to his cheek, and when he opened his eyes, she signed a single word.
'Look.'
"... at you?"
Yeah. It wasn't like her.
But something about her encounters with Yugo and that man, Ryo Marufuji…
She had felt herself smile a little against Yugo, she had felt her blood boil against Ryo. And talking to her father had exhausted her—it had taken all the strength that she'd ever saved up for herself. And without that strength…
Came a calm weariness.
Her shields were already knocked down.
She braced herself, and she pulled off her mask.
He'd asked once about what was under her mask, back then.
There it was.
He looked at her.
He didn't turn away—he stared directly at the ugliness of her scars, without flinching at all.
"... I thought so," Makoto said. He smiled—that gentle smile that had made her heart flip slightly back then. Then, he untangled one of his arms from her. The other was still wrapped around her waist, but he raised a hand to her cheek. He leaned forward, pausing right before his lips met hers.
Kaname tilted her head forward, pressing her forehead to his—silent assent.
He pressed a quick, soft kiss to her lips.
"I've wanted to do that for a while, but that mask was always in the way."
Kaname couldn't help but react—a slight uptilt of lips, a sharp exhale.
"And there's that smile of yours. Been waiting to see that too—you look even prettier when you smile." Makoto reached out a hand. She took it. "Hey, Kaname." It was the first time that he'd used her name so casually. "When this is over, I'm not going to be working with the boss anymore. And your brother told you that he wanted you to stop too, right? Why don't you quit too?"
Quit?…
Could she?
"High Council's gone. Did them in myself, me and Chino. I get if you're going to be upset over that. But even so, I'm not bound. Neither are you. The city's going to change. It may never welcome us—but it won't be the same city that broke us, either. Just… stop trying so hard, Kaname. Fall in the line of duty too, like the rest of us."
He pulled her to her feet.
Kaname reached to put her mask back on again.
To kill…
What did it mean, exactly?
For those so rotten that they had ended numerous lives through inaction…
Who decided whether they should be executed or not?
Was there a right or wrong answer?
In the end, it was all just a tragedy the whole way down.
But… people like that wouldn't ever change.
Her father hadn't changed either. Neither of them had.
So, even though her heart sang of love for them as much as it seethed with hatred…
Maybe Yugo was right. Maybe everyone else was right.
Maybe in the end, it just wasn't worth it to defend people who didn't deserve to be defended.
… she'd have to think about it.
In the room, Sergey's eyes cracked open slowly. His grin grew. Slowly, he began to laugh, though no one could hear him.
Ah. There she was. There all along. Living, and living, with every moment filled with pain.
No wonder she was so perfect.
Chapter Summary (For anyone bothered by the content warnings)
The chapter explains the backstory of all four Elite Officers in a jigsaw puzzle-like way, where there are some parts of each character's story in the others. We start with Arisu, seven years ago, whose father is framed for corruption and charged with a high fine that he can never hope to pay. Her father later attempts a family suicide, killing himself and his wife. Arisu survives, but she inherits her family's debt, and after being humiliated by the High Council, ends up forced to work for Security. She vows to become a good person, but her conviction weakens over the years, and when Roget offers her an end to her suffering, she agrees to work for him.
We then go to Chino, five years ago, where it's revealed that she used to just be a quiet girl, half-Tops and half-Commons. After her father dies due to a lack of treatment, Chino begins to resent the apathy in others around her towards her own suffering. Her brother ends up destroying hospital property in his anger over their father. Chino blackmails the High Council with her father's knowledge of what exactly they did to Arisu Kirijo two years ago, to get them to drop the charges against her father. She starts working for Security, in hopes of using it to protect herself and her brother. In doing so, she meets Makoto Toyama, which at least gives her a sense of solidarity. However, she is worn down over time by her brother's lack of understanding and his recklessness, along with the stress of gossiping at work. Eventually, when her brother works with Kiryu Kyosuke and ends up in the Facility, Chino refuses to appeal for him any longer. She agrees to work for Roget simply because she's tired of caring about what others think of her.
We go to Makoto's section, five years ago, told out of order. Makoto is just a normal Commons, before a Tops man, in a drunken stupor, ends up killing his parents and severely assaulting his sister in the middle of a crowd. Despite his previously non confrontational nature and the warnings of the High Council that he shouldn't pursue things any longer, he's unable to control his anger. When he meets the man again and the man seems to have forgotten what he did, Makoto loses his temper and assaults him violently in the middle of a crowd. Because of this, Makoto is arrested, and the High Council, deciding that he's more useful as a person to do their dirty work for them, decides to curb his defiance by marking him with several criminal marks, each of which is extremely painful to put on. Makoto meets Chino, but despite putting on a brave face, when he's reminded of his life before his crime, he breaks down. There's a time skip of two years, where Kaname offers to help him remove the criminal marks once she discovers them. The two of them get along pretty well, and Makoto slowly begins to grow more optimistic that things can change. Thus, when Roget offers him a chance to get rid of the High Council eventually, despite understanding how manipulative Roget is, he agrees to work with Roget.
We finally go to Kaname's section. It starts off weird because it's told by Roget. It starts three years ago, and reveals Kaname's real reason for initially working with Roget—that she wanted to stop Roget from adopting Yugo instead. It then goes back to six years ago, and reveals the truth behind why Kaname seemingly left Yugo behind—that the reason for her missing eye is Yugo himself, since he clawed her eye out in a strange, Berserk Mode trance.
This cuts back to the present, where everyone is reacting with horror. Carly then reveals that there's still one more document—a paternity report.
We go back to fourteen years ago, and it's revealed that Kaname's father killed her mother, before he hit her in the face with a kettle of boiling water, and that she ran away, meeting Yugo and Martha. Naturally, the reveal becomes obvious at this point—her father is Sergey Volkov.
At this point, you can scroll back up. There's not much that's triggery about the last scene of the chapter.
End Notes:
Alright, that's done.
I'm very biased, but this is my favourite chapter in terms of format in the whole story. Each segment is meant to contrast the very real, emotional, devastating experiences of people… with the cold, factual articles that are written about those experiences. Going from Arisu's conflicted anguish about her father's actions to a short paragraph that just states the facts… all of it is meant to show a simple thing—the Synchro Dimension's problems didn't start with Roget.
It felt like a very fitting chapter for the Synchro Dimension, considering the way I've portrayed the city so far. For stylistic reasons, the 'full excerpts' are not shown, but you can assume that the Lancers now know the truth of what happened in this chapter, beyond just what's stated in the excerpts.
Without further ado, some of the references/puns in this chapter:
- The chapter name invokes a certain line from Nathaniel Hawthorne's 'The Ocean'—namely "Unquiet are its graves". Essentially, the idea is that those who have sailed the sea and witnessed its chaos can never rest peacefully on the earth—rather, they're far more at peace when they die in the same dangers they encountered. Others might mourn their death, but they themselves do not—they are peaceful by dying in peril, rather than peacefully on land.
- 'Crystal Methodology' is a deliberately cruel play on the term 'crystal meth'—a terrible way to name the file describing the past of a girl whose family intentionally overdosed on drugs to kill themselves. I was trying to see it from Roget's perspective and was like "what is the cruellest reminder he would give to the officer that he trusts the least?"
- 'The Casualty' refers to Ted Hughes' poem of the same name. It's about the bystander effect and how little we care about the tragedies of others—how people are so removed from reality that they cannot understand how to help others. How people stand by and do the bare minimum to pretend that they're helping, when they've truly done nothing at all. The quoted part is from the second-last verse in the poem.
- 'Boy Breaking Glass' refers to the poem by Gwendolyn Brooks, one of my favourite poets ever. It's about the suppression of black people, and portrays a young Black boy who is unable to make any impact on the world, and is slowly grounded down and jaded, stripped of his identity and creativity, until the only way that he can express himself nad make his mark on the world is through violence. He is lonely, afraid, unable to find the place that he belongs in a place that denies his existence. In a way, it's a very easy image to layer on top of the image of Commons, which is inherently one of oppression.
- 'No Longer Human', naturally, references the novel by Osamu Dazai, which is still one of my favourite pieces of literature that I studied while getting my degree. To oversimplify its plot—it is about obsession, self-destruction, a fruitless search for salvation and loss. 'Everything passes' is an important phrase from that book as well.
- 'Jura Cenozoss' is of course a reference to Jurracs and the Cenozoic period—double dino puns. The Cenozoic period came right after the extinction event that killed the dinosaurs.
- Giving the council member the last name Mettere is a pun on 'grey matter'.
- "I want to live myself; otherwise it's better not to live at all." This comes from Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky—specifically, the translation by Pevear and Volokhonsky.
Did Roget deliberately give the Elite Officers the password just to remind them that he has access to all this information about their painful pasts? Yep.
Originally, this was going to be a chapter without duels, but then I was like "I'll just cameo one." Also, lol at me thinking that this was going to be an 8k chapter, max. The outline literally says "non-duel chapter, ~8k" I just kept writing and now we're here with a 20k chapter.
The key thing is that all four characters lose everything because of something beyond their control—traits of others. Respectively, greed, apathy, entitlement and violence, four distinct things that all come up because of the innately broken system they live in. All four things are rooted in discrimination. In general, they have very good reasons to hate the people in charge of the city.
And of course, there is a very serious irony in the fact that the Security quartet, for all their misery, get exactly what they wanted. Arisu gets the power to help others. Chino gets the ability to stop having to be responsible for other people. Makoto gets to legally ruin the lives of the people he despises. And Kaname…
Well, anyway, they get all of that—but they sacrifice their own dignity for it. They place themselves at the mercy of the morals of others, and as such, all four of them—even Arisu, who is the best of the four—are far worse people in the present than they were before. What Roget gives them is a poisonous hope that they can save themselves—and they know it's not likely either. That's just how things are sometimes. And there's that hope that all four of them have, which Kaname references in 63—the wish to just be allowed to live.
Of course, just because they've been through a lot of shit doesn't mean that they should be forgiven for the stuff that they have done and are going to do. They're still our main characters' enemies, after all. Still, I wanted to make use of the crapsack world of Synchro to make antagonists with actual motivations that aren't just serving Academia, and… well, considering that Academia plays a far larger role in later arcs, I had to do that here.
"I hope that everyone will be patient with me, as I figure out this position and the advantages that it will offer me in the future." - Chino just being like "mm, what is a way that I can say 'just wait until I can legally kill you assholes' without alerting anyone?" "I will treat others as they've treated me" is a line with the exact same energy.
Makoto's file starts off stating him as the criminal and the other person as the 'victim', to obfuscate and confuse things.
Also, Kaname sees Makoto's criminal marks and is a lot gentler towards him because of it—her brain goes "oh, he hates those marks. I hate my scars too. If I can make one person feel better about themselves by getting rid of something marking them, it's worth it."
Also, those two as a pairing? 100% not planned until I started this arc and it ended up making sense for them. I can't believe I wrote the rain scene and thought they were just kinda friends. Most people don't care for OC/OC pairings, but regardless, it made a lot of sense for Kaname's arc for her to genuinely trust someone to see her emote properly.
Kaname's part starts out from Roget's perspective instead of hers—so that it becomes a gut punch when it actually switches to her.
Huge disclaimer on the author's end here—Kaname's thoughts about herself and her appearance are entirely born of her trauma and experiences. No one is ever really ugly because of their injuries or scars—rather, they are a direct criticism of how people look away from, or prefer to avoid messy and complicated things because the truth is painful to look at.
Remember Yugo saying that Kaname had a strange episode and didn't recognise him when he was ten? *thumbs up* That was definitely an unreliable narrator moment. The first big reveal of the chapter is that Yugo was the one who had a strange episode, and when he woke up, for that split second of consciousness, Kaname was still terrified of him. Honestly, a lot of what Yugo has said about his origins isn't guaranteed to be correct—he was very young, after all. Also, yes, a Yu-boy maiming their pseudo-older sister in a strange episode… remind me when we last heard of that exact scenario? :D
Also, when Roget says in the flashback that Kaname would beat Yuri, he's still referring to child Yuri—aka, still 13 years old, messing around with Serena, not quite as terrifying as he currently is.
Sergey being Kaname's father is the second big reveal of this chapter. Reminder that Sergey's idea of perfection and beauty is something that is destroyed. Mm. The entire arc is kind of filled with those clues, if you know to look for them, and I was genuinely worried when I posted Reiji vs Sergey that someone would pick up on it, because boy I made it really obvious there, huh? I did have a part down here where I pointed out the clues, but it got too long. I'll put it on the Tumblr later.
And anyway, to put it in Sergey's own words from before Sergey vs Reira, 'Beauty came from pain. And the dead couldn't feel pain." He loves Kaname in his own twisted way. And in knowing who she is, he considers her his finest masterpiece—a person that he managed to destroy so utterly that she is still hurting today, and who is still alive to feel that pain.
As for my final statement on the whole thing—I'll let Miharu finish it off, with her words from Chapter 50, because of how perfectly they echo the sentiment of this chapter. "I only want to try to live a decent life. To protect people. You want me to ally with you and help you do this? You want me to use people's lives for my own sake? You disgust me. Just kill me instead, if you can." Miharu's words are exactly how the Lancers feel. At the same time, they also reflect how these members of Security used to think, long before they became antagonists. Many of those who end up becoming villains start off just wanting to live a good life.
… if it's not obvious, I love my Security Quartet as villains. And yes, I am very biased. :D I think I'm allowed to be!
Review responses!
To Bryz0n, it really does look like Odd-Eyes Venom Dragon would have come out, right? :D But no, that's not the case. I have a specific moment planned for that card. And haha, I love how everyone is immediately aware that Roget is going to get utterly wrecked by the end of this arc. And Yuri is taking his first step to be a decent person! *confetti* But yeah, by having them both stay at Academia, it does mean that I get to use some slightly more nuanced antagonists there.
To phantomdragons, I do love that you recognised that! Yuri is learning how to be a kinder person because people are kind to him—it seems like such basic logic, but at the same time, it's a huge step forward for him. And there you go, there's the backstory! Hope you enjoyed it!
To AccurateGap1, honestly, the reason why I've put so much effort into making Roget genuinely despicable is because I just felt like he was one of the most wasted parts of Arc-V. Like, they put so much effort into developing him at the start of Synchro, only to just kind of… drop him by the end? And the fact that the only villains in Synchro were Roget and Sergey made it so that the plot kind of went nowhere until Academia invaded. Like, if I had the time or space, I would write an entire dissection of the Synchro arc and how almost no plot actually happened in canon. What I can say is that Roget will get exactly the ending he deserves… in time. :D
As for the distinction between killing and carding, that's a very good point! The reason why I choose not to make the distinction is because in this story, carding is actually seen as worse. At this point, most characters are not yet aware that carding is reversible. So to them, carding is just killing someone, except that you don't even get a body—and thus, people can't even be sure if their loved ones have actually been carded or not. Meanwhile, because carding is murder without all the messy, bloody parts of actual murder, the Fusion Dimension kids don't necessarily understand its gravity. While technically, the Academia characters believe that carded people will come back in a 'utopia', I still think that the horror of the act itself shouldn't be downplayed, just because a 'cessation of existence' still happens. The effects of carding on a person are the same as that of murder, and just because they can be brought back doesn't mean that it's any less serious to the characters that aren't in Academia, because they don't know that. As such, I guess that carding is a method of murder, like stabbing or suffocating? *shrugs* I honestly think it's a fascinating idea, and honestly, I think that any interpretation of a difference between them could be interesting to explore too!
And your review made me look up the number of episodes for each arc in canon. (Or, by definition, how many episodes they spend in each dimension.) Apparently, Standard is 53, Synchro is 46, Xyz is 12, Fusion is 29 and the post-war is 8. (Meaning that they nearly spent more time in Synchro than the next three arcs combined.) Considering that Synchro started in Chapter 24, we're at 43 chapters in this arc now! *smiles in pain* So yeah, you're right, we're definitely exceeding the anime episodes. Also, considering that I ran through the Friendship Cup chapters at 3 or 4 duels per chapter early on, I have a feeling that I've already exceeded it lengthwise. So… great milestone on my part! Can't believe that it's taken me 800k words to cover this much when most fics are already in the Fusion Arc at this point, lmao. I can at least guarantee that my Xyz and Fusion arcs are going to be longer than canon. :D
To cardfan135, Shino, Kisara and Ryo are probably the three most consistent and important antagonists in the fic, bar Leo Akaba, Yuri and *cough* Zarc. While there are several other recurring characters who will be important in specific arcs, the three of them in this arc are a sort of taste of power—people who are currently beyond the reach of our main characters, but will be knocked down a long time in the future. You have some good guesses on the matches! :)
To kikuruhime, Greedy Venom will get its moment eventually. I'm aiming for a very specific moment. As for Ryo and Shino… hmm, I guess we'll wait and see! :)
QOTC: What was your favourite duel from Arc-V canon? Conversely, are there any duels in fanfics on the website that you like a lot?
Alright, that's it! Next time, we'll be trucking on with the plot. We're getting closer and closer to the point where we get proper payoff for making Roget and Sergey so detestable through the arc, and I'm hyped! :D Feel free to follow, favourite or review! See you next time!
