"You can never turn a page in your life without some nostalgia hanging over it."
Eve Belisle
Hermione had been out of her lethargy for four months. During those four months, she had worked hard, every day, to be able to walk again. It had been very hard, she had cried a lot, she had been depressed a lot, but she had succeeded. After long and hard efforts, she managed to walk again. Despite the fact that she had few rehabilitation sessions at St Mungo's, she worked every day, at least six hours. She had to relearn how to walk, how to eat, but also how to control her magic.
She was still a long way from being able to fight the Death Eaters, she couldn't even go running on the beach, so fighting someone was pure madness. She was often alone, the Order members were always on a mission or fighting. She saw Remus very little, but knew she couldn't do anything, it wasn't his fault after all. She was exhausted, both morally and physically, but she was also frustrated that she couldn't help the Order.
The people she saw most were Harry and Neville. Their parents weren't around much during the day, so Hermione looked after them. It was the only thing that took her out of the monotony of her rehabilitation. She had taught them how to read, as well as how to summon their magic, which was starting to become more and more present. She liked to teach them to recognise the different plants, the different potion ingredients, the stars that populated the galaxy, the history of the magical world, of the Muggle world, which were sometimes much more connected than the wizards could think. They were still too young to cast spells, transfiguration, or even make potions, but it was an initiation into the magical world, much deeper than what children their age were learning. Of course, Hermione couldn't deny her heritage completely, and had also started to teach them mathematics, grammar, reading and writing, they were even starting to want to learn a new language.
"Helena, why are you sad?"
Hermione snapped out of her thoughts and turned to Neville, who looked worried.
"I'm not sad, I just realise how proud I am of you. You've made a lot of progress, you're doing your best."
"But why are you sad then? Neville is right, I can see that."
"I'm thinking about my friends."
"The ones in the clouds?"
"Yes. I hope they are proud of me too. And I think I'm beginning to accept their deaths. For the longest time I thought Harry had abandoned me, and Ron had done the same. And I'm only now realising that he hasn't. They're dead, they're not. They're dead, they didn't leave me. It's taken me eleven fucking years to realise that."
"You said f... You have to put a sickle in the swear word box!"
"Did your friend copy Harry's name?"
"He didn't copy it, Neville. My friend was much older than Harry is now. Well, enough about me, let's get back to your checklist."
"Don't forget your sickle, there will soon be enough for our packet of chocolate frogs."
"You don't lose sight of your goals, do you?"
"I'm sick of math! What good is it to us? Can't we do magic?"
"Yes, can you make us a patronus? Yours is so beautiful!"
Hermione was amused every time the two children thought her patronus was beautiful since it represented Remus, or Moony, and he hated his lupine form. She summoned the wolf, she was having less and less trouble casting the spell, Remus said it was because she was becoming aware of many things about the dead of the past, but she wasn't sure.
She could hardly believe that January had also begun. It was even harder to get her head around the fact that it was 1985, she had barely seen the last two years pass. As much as Hermione loved looking after Neville and Harry, she felt useless to the Order, and she was sick of it. She was researching Merlin's belongings, but nothing seemed to be important enough to hold a piece of the Dark Lord's soul. But then again, he had created two living horcruxes, his snake and his enemy, so anything was possible.
She was brought out of her thoughts abruptly when James' patronus arrived, telling him to get the infirmary ready and to go and get the boys to safety, so they wouldn't see what was coming. This worried her, it hadn't happened since she'd come back, and it meant things were going badly.
She calmly explained things to the children, although they didn't understand everything, they nodded and went up to the room they were in. For safety, Hermione magically locked them in, it was better to be careful because of James' concern.
She hurried downstairs and out of the HQ, waiting for the members to arrive. They soon did, and Hermione could see that most of them were injured, but nothing traumatic enough to lock Harry and Neville up.
Then she saw them. James and Frank were covered in blood from head to toe, but it was the body above them that looked the worst. Hermione recognised him immediately, and wondered what spell could have made the Head of the Order look so bad. She rushed to the infirmary and began to prepare as many potions as she could.
"Is he conscious? What happened? What spell?"
"I am indeed conscious, Helena. As for the spell, unfortunately I couldn't hear the formula."
"Just put it down there. I'll heal you, Professor. Accio blood regeneration potion. Here, drink this, the most important thing is to stop the bleeding."
"You know which spell I received, don't you?"
"That's not important, I'm... I'm gonna fix you up, okay? Frank, I need Rem', he's the only one who can help me, you're not good enough with dark magic."
"Helena. The distress on your face is visible. What is this spell?"
"Did Tom cast it for you?"
"Who else did it? Is this a spell of his invention?"
"No. It's much older than that, the founders didn't exist when it was created."
"Helena, you can't save me by making me drink all the potions in this infirmary."
"Perit in sanguinem."
It was Remus who had spoken. There was no other option, given the injuries caused. Dumbledore's shoulders slumped a little more, and Hermione paled even more. It was one thing to realise it, it was another to hear it out loud, with all the consequences that implied.
"Well... You don't have to be an expert in dark magic to understand what that means. Mr. Potter, I need to speak to Remi and Helena, can you leave us, please."
"But... Professor..."
"James, it's urgent."
James finally complied grudgingly, and walked out of the infirmary, his face grim. Everyone turned towards him and Marlene was the first to speak.
"Is he..."
"No. He just wants to talk to Remi and Helena."
"What spell?" intervened Moody.
"Perit in sanguinem. Something like that."
James hadn't finished his sentence when Moody had already rushed to the infirmary, but unfortunately for him, he came up against a closed door that wouldn't open. He pounded on the door, but nothing changed.
"Albus, open this door now!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"Didn't you ever study Latin, Potter? Perit in sanguinem. Die in blood."
All the members of the Order froze at this announcement. It was more than likely that their leader would die within the evening, and there was nothing they could do about it. But Dumbledore knew what he was doing. From the moment he had realised that his hours were numbered, he had known what to do.
"Don't make that face, Helena. You can't save me."
"Of course I can, we need you. The Order needs you, Hogwarts needs you. The magical world needs you."
"I'm afraid you're giving me too much credit. Minerva will look after Hogwarts, and Alastor will look after the Order. As for the magical world, well, I think you're the person who cares most about it. You've both done great things. You'll get through this, I'm sure."
"But, no, of course not! We can't..."
"You may have failed the first time, but this time you'll succeed."
"You know..."
"Yes, Mr Lupin. I finally figured it out, but I have no idea who Helena really is."
"My name is Hermione. But we need you. Look, you died in the future and we had to go back in time almost twenty-five years!"
"I suspect that the person I've become hasn't always made good choices. But Hogwarts wouldn't have chosen you as Chosen if they didn't believe in you. Yes, I know her, she introduces herself to every Headmaster who takes office. Your lovely friends you call a Guardian mentioned her, the rest was deduction."
Hermione and Remus looked at the man who had been their Headmaster, looking distraught. Neither of them knew what to do, Albus was losing too much blood, the more he spoke the harder the words seemed to come out of his mouth.
"Disarm me, Tom must not get the power of my wand."
"No way! We're not going to take your wand from your deathbed, that would be the height of dishonour. I respect you enough not to do that! And I will never become the owner of the Elder Wand!"
"So you know what its powers are and what a disaster it would be if Tom were to take it. If I die and no one disarms me, the wand will go to him."
The two Chosen Ones seemed to be in the throes of an inner battle, neither of them knowing what to do.
"Do it. Remus, go ahead."
Remus' neutral expression did not reflect the chaos inside him. He slowly raised his wand, and murmured a weak expletive, but given Dumbledore's condition, it was more than enough to disarm him. His hand was shaking, he wished he had never done this, but he would convince himself in the future that this was one of Albus Dumbledore's last wishes.
"Protect Hogwarts, that's all I ask. They are only children."
"Professor..."
"I go in peace, after all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the..."
The end of his sentence remained forever stuck in the Professor's throat, as his face froze, his soul flying away into the unknown.
"Next great adventure."
Hermione stepped forward, trembling, and then locked eyes with the man she had both admired and hated so much. Albus Dumbledore was no more. They walked slowly out of the infirmary and all the faces of the Order of the Phoenix turned towards them, they all blanched as they saw the amount of blood on Helena's clothes and their disturbed looks.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't... I couldn't do anything."
At the same time, on the other side of the country, a phoenix left its dead master's office and sang. Its song echoed throughout the castle. The students admired the beauty of this sad song, without understanding its meaning, but the teachers knew. Minerva stood straight in front of her students, for them nothing had changed, she was still Professor McGonagall, strict but fair, but for her it was different. She was becoming, with a simple phoenix song, the headmistress of the last place in the UK that was not in the hands of the Dark Lord. She was becoming headmistress of Hogwarts.
The whispers had given way to stunned silence in the Order of the Phoenix HQ. Dumbledore was dead. They all found it hard to believe, but his corpse was there. Hermione had gone to wash up, James and Frank followed her, all three of them were covered in blood, and wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. Harry and Neville were getting impatient, Hermione could feel it, but they had to talk about what they were going to do first.
When she came back downstairs all eyes turned to her as if to ask her to do something. But she didn't know what to do, she was lost too. Perhaps the fall was not as great for her as it was for the others, she knew that Dumbledore was not immortal, he was just one man among many. But this man was the leader of the resistance, so it was more than normal to be lost without him.
"We have to proceed methodically. We will have to be extra careful now. We are all secret guardians of fidelius charm. If even one of us makes a mistake, the HQ is compromised. We'll have to warn Sirius and Remus about this. I think avoiding the place for now would be a good idea. But it's your call, Moody."
"Go on with what you have to say."
"I also think that protecting Hogwarts is a priority. Nothing should change for Hogwarts, but he was the protector of Hogwarts, and now Minerva is the headmistress. We're going to have to go through the ritual of handing over the castle, and I hope to convince her not to follow Albus in some things. Hogwarts may still be protected for a while, but you-know-who isn't afraid of Minerva as she was of Dumbledore. He won't hesitate to attack anymore."
"What do you suggest?"
"Evacuating all Muggle-born students with families is the priority. Send them abroad. I don't know what the current relations with foreign countries are at the moment, but they shouldn't stay here. The same goes for students who wear the brand or reveal information to their parents. Of course all those who are against these ideals but don't dare to say so can stay. In reality, I think the best thing would be to evacuate the students who are not invested in the war, who have the choice to leave. There are an awful lot of them who have lost their families, and that's what we have to protect. There will certainly be pureblood families who don't want to leave the country, and we have to deal with that. But Hogwarts has to be a safe place for the people who are there, and I'll talk to Minerva about that, but the program has to be focused on defence. All the subjects, apart from astronomy and divination, can be useful for defence, and that's what we need to focus on. Because you-know-who won't give up, Hogwarts is the last thing they want, and they'll come, that's for sure. They'll have to be taught how to defend themselves, how to resist the imperius, how to fight any kind of enemy."
"You want to turn the students into perfect little soldiers?"
"Of course not. If Tom managed to get into Hogwarts, there's no way the students would stay. A minor will never fight the Death Eaters unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not a monster."
A noise was heard outside and they all turned towards Alice who had just arrived. Hermione didn't know why she was only arriving now, but what concerned her more were the words she spoke.
"Bloody Death Eaters, they wouldn't let me go!"
"Alice, have the Death Eaters seen the HQ?"
"Of course not, the protection spells are there."
Hermione blanched furiously, and took a quick look at Remus, who had turned as pale as she was.
"Grace! Lucas! What is it?" asked Moody in his gruff voice.
"The HQ is compromised."
"We need to evacuate now."
"You're sure of that."
"We're all Guardians of the Secret. And Alice revealed the Secret."
"Damn it, we have to evacuate."
"We need to be methodical. The fidelius is broken, but that leaves the other spells. I think we've got twenty-four hours to evacuate."
"Where are we going?"
"Hogwarts. It's the safest place right now. And we need to protect the students. James and Frank, you look after Harry and Neville, get their things, explain what's going on, but keep it to a minimum, we don't want them panicking. Once you have transited to Hogwarts, you get to safety and inform Minerva of the situation. Also check for any Death Eaters trying to get in. Moody and Gideon, you take care of the papers, sort out the most important ones, keep them, burn the rest. Edgar, Marlene, Alice, you take care of the fight room, you shrink everything, we'll need training equipment. You five" she told the former aurors present, "take Dumbledore's body back to Hogwarts, the students must not see it. Rem', you put everything away up there. Hestia, Kinglsey, you come with me to the infirmary, we have to bring everything. As soon as a team has finished, it doesn't wait for the others, it directly to Hogwarts.
"We'll have to warn the others."
"Exactly, I'll write a message to Remus and Sirius, I'll send a patronus to the Tonks, and we'll see about Severus and Regulus later."
"Right, everyone do what Grace says."
"Just one question, how do we get into Hogwarts?"
"If the place is deserted, don't go through the main door, you all know the password. If there's a problem, there's a secret passage. James, which one is the best option?"
"I don't really know the situation in Hogsmeade, but I think the one at Honeydukes makes the most sense."
Hermione explained how to get there and everyone left to get on with the task at hand. Hermione stayed in the room for a few moments, writing a quick message to Sirius and Remus to warn them of the situation, and to tell them not to try and reach them for a while. She was about to leave to help Kinglsey and Hestia, but she saw that Alice was still there, and looked very upset.
"Alice... Is this about the HQ?"
"It's my fault we have to leave. I'm so sorry, I feel so bad."
"You couldn't have known that Dumbledore had just died and that you were now the keeper of the secret, like the rest of us. Someone was bound to slip up one day. I've done it in the past. The house my best friend inherited from his godfather was under Fidelius, I sold the secret. It was a mistake, like yours. Don't worry about that, just go and help the others."
Alice nodded and went upstairs to join Edgar and Marlene in the fighting room. Hermione headed to the infirmary and helped Kinglsey and Hestia clear out the cupboards. They had to be very careful, most of the potions took a long time to make, and some of the ingredients that had not been used yet were scarce. It took them over two hours to put everything away, and when they were sure that everything was put away, all the jars were made unbreakable, Hermione placed all the potions and ingredients in a bag under the undetectable extension spell. She gave them the bag and they both left while she went up to the top floor.
She found Remus in the room that had been wallpapered with pictures from their past. He had removed half of them, and the horcruxe research room had been cleared. He looked troubled, but that was not surprising. He turned and saw Hermione standing in the doorway.
"It's a strange feeling. Putting my past in boxes. It's been a while since I've been here, in this room, looking at their faces, their smiles. It seems so far away now. I think about them less and less. I almost don't have time to do that anymore, the missions take up all the space, and of course I think about them every day, but not in the same way as before. Anyway... You might think it's silly, but I can't remove all the photos with magic, it wouldn't be a tribute to them."
"I understand. I feel that way too. I've finally accepted that those days are gone."
"Are there still people down there?"
"We are the last ones."
"The captains of a ship that sinks a little more every second into the ocean, but who remain despite everything."
"It's a beautiful metaphor."
Hermione helped Remus put away their pictures, in the silence. It wasn't a heavy silence as it could be in such a situation, no it was the opposite, a soothing silence, where each of them prepared to turn a page in their lives, knowing that the other was by their side if they needed help.
Then the moment arrived, the room was empty, as was the rest of the house. They looked at each other for a moment, not really knowing how to act, how to say goodbye to this house, which was not just a house.
"Do you want to go for a last ride?"
Hermione nodded and they walked through each room, recalling the memories that had taken place in each place. Eventually they came out of the house and looked at it one last time.
"This is the only place I've ever really felt at home outside of Hogwarts. I didn't have a home as a child, we moved around too much. It was more than just a house, it was a piece of my life. Even though many of the memories were not happy, we still had some good times."
Then slowly he raised his wand, and the house, their house, caught fire before their eyes.
The flames danced before their eyes, and as the house burned, as the walls weakened, so did their memories. Hermione staggered, but Remus caught her. This was how their duo worked, one fell, the other caught.
Remus took one last look at the flames embracing his memories, and with Hermione's body pressed against him, he moved on, away from home.
