"You spent your whole existence as if you were trapped in a labyrinth..."
how can you know, how can you even imagine it, if you don't feel anything...those so afflicted and painful words that perhaps no one would have ever thought came out of that mouth that today she calls with love "Violet" ...
it was him... that nobody that without the slightest idea carried the weight of dealing with the leftovers of a despot and cold brother; it was him to whom Violet was thrown without measure in his arms, and let me tell you that his small and aching body afflicted by the circumstances of war and hatred fit almost perfectly there in that small space next to his heart.
it was he who ran between trenches and grenades at her side in the middle of the war, it was he who with that almond look, with the skin entrenched with scars, with the enormous uncertainty of whether or not he was doing the right thing, with that choked heart that he loved her.
he loved her as seagulls love the ocean breeze in the morning, he loved her as people in love love love, with fire and iron, he made all the wounds inflicted turn to ashes, and like the phoenix itself he could be reborn every day just by looking at her.
He loved her as children love when they first discover what love is, and he did not know how to protect her without losing her. For each mission was a one-way ticket and his heart could no longer bear the uncertainty that the war would take away what he had found and sworn to take care of.
His soul was breaking and the fearful vine was squeezing his poor heart more and more, it was then that he turned to claudia and claudia appeared in the captain's study.
And it was that night in the siege of the town when the enemy attacked by surprise, when their lives were forever cut short in a "what if?
fire and bullets, explosions and screams, her eyes met his in the middle of the fire, between shattered corridors; her arms hung lifelessly from his suit and yet she smiled, but he could not look at her with eyes other than those of someone repentant; repentant for having dragged her, and her small body into such a macabre war.
It was not the end nor the end he wished for someone like her, his greatest wish was to take her to a world where she would no longer need to see herself as a tool, where she would not have to call anyone "master", where she could go back to being that little girl she could never be... and he would be the person who would see her bloom in the fields and take her hand, and give her a flower.
But that was only a dream, because today he was there bleeding to death in the corridors of the village monastery, while Violet tried to save him, but she had almost no strength left.
She took a deep breath, and told him those things that no one wants to hear less in the middle of a battle, violet's eyes filled with tears while she asked the major not to give up; she sank her face against violet's chest wiping her tears so that she would not see them and pushed him away from him with her only free hand.
"LIVE" was what he shouted from the fire before the rest of the monastery collapsed upon him.
His eyes went out to the light, became opaque to life, his mouth dried up as rivers and lakes dry up in the summer, while his soul, that damned beloved soul traveled to the innermost reaches of being; only to meet her in this imaginary world where only love exists, where he can run holding her hand, where he can smile at her without guilt, where he can hold her in his arms without questioning whether he deserves her or not.
His body ached, he felt tangled in some strange place and so his heart was healing taking him to where he could feel stronger than ever and that was always with Violet. Giving him the world was perhaps the most beautiful gift anyone could receive from a loved one.
But it was not in this story, because giving her the world was for Violet to find hope in arms that were not hers, it was to feel human again next to someone who once hated her.
"...you only used the future to escape the present."
