Gilbert

"You draw memories that I can't erase"

His eyes froze in front of mine, the stunned, almost empty gaze waving over me, that enormous power that only those eyes had, could break me in a second and just as gunpowder devoured the walls, like the fire that ate away at the corridors, both Violet and I disappeared in that siege leaving not only parts of our bodies in that place.

she was what gave me reasons to move forward and it was the desire to leave all military life behind, she was everything that we wish could be dangerous, that could take us to places where we would never have been allowed to go. And that was why I had to find a reason, a reason to take her away from me without hurting her the most, of all.

And the least possible damage was simply to break her heart, to make her believe that losing what I knew I loved without her knowing it was something that squeezed my heart every day. the bitter memory of seeing her leave the tent every day and seeing her return covered in blood, washing her wounds, sewing them and bandaging them as if she were a simple doll. I couldn't go on like this, with that miserable life, seeing her smile for every little order that meant overshadowing a life.

Every time I looked at her, a carousel song resounded in me as sweet as herself, and with all my crazy strength I wished I could be able to give her that life that not only Violet deserved. I no longer wanted to caress her face under the pretext of dressing her wounds, feeling her cold skin and not being able to hug her.

Seeing her magnanimous back vanish between the bombs and the fire made me happy for an instant, to feel that maybe this way she was safe calm to this old and crazy heart, but the truth is that immediately the black cloud covered my existence with sorrow when she simply vanished without looking back, and without knowing if he had really managed to survive.

So with the uncertainty of a man who has deceived whom he loves was that I crawled along the walls and can you believe that at times I could hear his voice among my thoughts?, can you believe that at times I could see her in those corridors guiding me to the exit, I could clearly see between my wounds her thick hair and her red trim, he was desperately trying to reach her, even if it was with only one arm.

"She lives in poetry that I can't write"

I open my eyes and I can no longer see her, neither her hair nor her trim, only a wooden ceiling and my hand and an eye, the rest is dark. Then close I can hear Claudia and the nurses asking a patient for restraint, and I hear her voice.

I get up as best I can with the burning pain in an arm that doesn't exist and an eye that doesn't see. leaning against the door I try to see her, and her eye meets mine before I can even react, I hide again, leaving a bed full of blood I manage to sneak through the other rooms and I hear Dietfried's familiar voice and my sin was rescued by angels of death willing to deceive her for me.

Gilbert opened his eyes and it was already morning, the sun was sneaking through the curtains, it had been a dream, but no, it was his memories turning his dreams into nightmares, the tragicomic story repeating itself over and over again in his head, hunting him even in his dreams, he got up standing in front of the mirror looking at his punished body, the torn stump on his arm was still burning, his one hand resting on the patch on his eye, and he wondered what kind of man he could be for Violet like that.

He had made a big impact at dinner by dressing so elegantly, he looked at the evening clothes, but he didn't feel comfortable, he dressed in a simpler way, he wanted to go out to the stable and see the horses, maybe walk around the countryside and get a little away, he left his room wearing blue pants and a loose white shirt unbuttoned.

He slipped through the corridors, it was still very early and the cooks were preparing breakfast, he managed to get out without running into anyone and without causing discomfort, while walking along the paths he walked as a child, in the distance with the sun on his temple he saw the field of violets in front of him, the wind felt good and the memories of the day he gave her his name to her returned fresh and sweet to him. To the point of making his skin crawl, it was all too obvious, he still loved her, he had survived hell for her, and he still hadn't been able to ask her if she knew what his statement meant.

He continued walking until he came across the huge stable, the workers gave him a bow as he approached: "Miss Gilbert, it's good to see you, have you come to see your horses?" Gilbert's smile lit up the servants who guided him to their animals, "You will be happy, señorito, love you to take very good care of your horses". Gilbert entered the stable and as he approached one of the stables he found Violet combing one of her horses "I told her that the lady had taken very good care of her horses she loved"

Violet was there, in front of him combing one of his horses, smiling and dressed as simple as him, a white dress and her brown boots and her hair was loose in a messy braid, her hair had grown too long and he had not cut it, for him she looked too beautiful and he was enraptured for a moment before the image.

"Miss Violet, Master Gilbert is here!" shouted the servant, Violet turned and their eyes met, they both blushed, Violet approached them and handed the comb to Gilbert avoiding his gaze she tried to disappear without saying anything, but the touch of her fingers when she handed him the comb caused a thousand sensations, she remembered again when he bought her that green locket that she had begged for so much, her smile when she gave her her name and when she showed her the violet field in honor of her. Gilbert wanted to turn around and go after her, but he couldn't.

she looked back at the comb on her hand that had now become a great treasure, Violet had personally taken care of her animals, if she cared, even now, maybe she had a chance. he turned to his horse and continued combing it, while the servant told him everything that Violet had done in recent years for him.

"He conquered his demons, and showed off his wounds like wings"