Sam is holding on to 2 very big secrets, one, that he wants to leave hunting and go to Stanford university to study Law, and the other secret is that he was gay.
When John doesn't take the news of his son's impending departure for college very well, Sam reaches out to Bobby for help, he is bloody and bruised and needs a place to heal. Sam knows that his father wouldn't take his other secret any better.
Bobby's auto yard is now a safe haven and when he reconnects with Dean Campell, sparks fly. When Sam finally goes away to college, they send messages, letters, and care packages to each other and their relationship grows. On the road to being together, there are injuries, stalkers and a demon testing their new relationship. Will they finally get to be together, or will it all be too much?
Different ages, Sam Winchester is 18 and Dean Campbell is 24.
Chapter One - Secrets
For months now, Sam, a 17-year-old, tall skinny young man with long floppy hair that covered his expressive hazel eyes, has been carrying around 2 very big secrets very close to his chest. Both were secrets, that Sam could never tell his father. He just wouldn't understand either of them, for very different reasons. One secret is something that most fathers would be proud to find out and the other is one that most young people dreaded ever telling their parents or anyone because their reactions which could be positive and supportive or disastrous and, in most cases, it resulted in being outcast and. It's not something that someone if their line of business, that prides itself in toxic masculinity, could ever admit.
His father is a tough as nails ex-marine who is always going on at Sam about being a man, not showing your emotions, manning up, being tough, don't show your weaknesses, there is no room for sissies, being a strong confident man saved lives. Even thinking about telling his father makes his heartbeat faster and his blood to run cold. Sam can only envision his father's reaction if he ever told him that he was gay. It would end with Sam with more than a bloody nose or even a banishment from the one person he thought he could rely on.
The longer he holds onto this secret, the closer his way out seems to come closer. In his duffle bag, lays a letter with his way out of this life and this miserable life. The acceptance letter from Stanford university has been burning a hole in his bag for weeks now and he didn't know how or when he was going to tell his father, but it had to be soon, or he was literally going to go crazy.
A few weeks later, Sam is laying on his bed reading a book when his father walks into the motel room, with a heavy bag over his shoulder and camping equipment in the other hand that he dumps on the floor in front of the second bed. "Get up and get your things together, we have a hunt in Canada we need to get to, a whole bunch of other hunters are going, and they need our help" John started to collect all the things he had pinned to the board on the wall.
Sam sits there motionless; he can't go all the way to Canada and help with this hunt which will probably take months by the sound of it and be back in time for orientation at Stanford. "I... Dad I can't go with you" Sam says standing up and looking down at his bag and all the things he has scattered around the room.
"What do you mean you can't come with me? You have to come with me son, I need you" His father is looking at hm with an angry scowl on his face.
Sam moves to start collecting his things and putting on his bed so he can shove them in his bag. He can already tell this isn't going to end well. " Well... umm Dad I actually wanted to tell you something..." Sam hesitates as his father walks a few steps closer.
"What?" His father asks with his eyebrow raised
"Umm, you know I finished school a while ago, um well I ah... I've been accepted to Stanford because my score was so good" Sam said breathlessly
"You what?" His father's asks angrily
"Yeah, I um... I got into Stanford University" Sam replies meekly
"Well, you can't go, I need you here" His father dismissively and goes back to his packing
"But I want to go... they gave me a full ride Dad" Sam says his confidence is dwindling by the second.
"You're not going and that's final. Sam, I need you here, you can't go off so some school. I won't allow it" John Winchesters hard voice echoes in the small room.
"I actually got a full ride into Stanford University, do you know how hard that is, do you even care how hard I worked to get in?" Sam asks incredulously
"I don't care, you will do what I say or there will be hell to pay... where do you think you'll get the money to pay for it anyway?" John asks scornfully
'I got a FULL RIDE, which means they will pay for me to go" Sam says amazed at his father's attitude. "You don't need to pay for anything, I've done all the work for you" Sam said getting a little louder.
"You still aren't going" His father is now bellowing, the sound of his angry voice vertebrated around the room.
Sam huffs out in annoyance 'You can't stop me" Sam says with an edge of defiance.
"Oh yeah?" John says angrily as he stalks towards his son, his hands fisting and his shoulders ready for a fight.
"I have a full ride, this is my chance to get out, you can't stop me from living my life" Sam says standing to his full height.
"I SO can... you little shit" John says as his fist flies toward his son, connecting with his jaw, sending him crashing to the ground.
Sam looks up at his father, his eyes shining with tears, his hand goes straight to his aching jaw "I can't keep doing this dad... I'm going to Stanford, whether you like it or not" Sam rolls onto his hands and knees and tries to get to his feet but his father is right there grabbing his hair with his fist causing Sam to cry out, his father's other hand punches him in the face, Sam feels the blood pouring from his nose as another punch gets him on the eye and then he colipases to the ground as John just starts kicking him anywhere he can reach, in the stomach, his ribs, his head, his arms, his back, anywhere he can cause damage, John is right there inflicting as much pain as he can.
"If you can't do what I tell you, and you just want to abandon your family and go off to some pussy school, then you can stay here and rot for all I care" John kicks him one more time in the ribs and Sam feels a sharp stab of pain as he rolls over and groans. "If you leave then you can NEVER come back you hear me... we're done" John says as he grabs his sons chin towards him, growling at him menacingly, then shoves him to the ground in a final flourish.
All Sam can do to reply is groan and slowly crawl away from him. John takes this as his answer and grabs his bags and stalks out the room, slamming the room shut with a terrifying bang that rattles the room and windows into silence.
Hours or minutes later Sam is leaning against the nearest wall shaking and crying with fear and pain. He lifts his hand again and feels his swollen face, everything hurts, and everything is throbbing with the beating of his heart. There is a banging coming from somewhere, but he can't figure out if it's his own head of from somewhere outside. "Hey, are you alright in there" Someone asks through the door.
Sam takes a breath but cries out when the stabbing pain in his ribs shoots throughout his body. He swallows and tries to yell out "I'm... I'm OK" but his voice is scratchy and barely loud enough to hear over the banging on the door.
"OK, just keep it down alright?" The voice asks again through the door.
Sam takes stock of his situation; he is in a lot of pain, but he can't afford to go to the hospital. "Alright... thanks" Sam says as loudly as he can so the guy through the door will stop the banging.
It goes quiet on the other side of the door. "Alright" he says, and Sam can hear him walking away.
Sam sits there in silence then pulls his phone out of his pocket which is surprisingly still intact. He searches his contacts and clicks call on the one person who he knows will help him. "This better be life or death" a gruff voice says down the line.
"Bobby..." Sam whispers as tears suddenly comes to his eyes and a sob catches in his throat.
"Sam?" Bobby is suddenly on alert, he sits up in bed, his hair dishevelled and his eyes blurry "What's wrong Sam... are you alright?" Bobby seems to know that something has happened that isn't necessarily to do with hunting.
"Bobby... I... I told Dad about Stanford... and... he... he" Sam couldn't get any more words out, the sobs were making it hard to breath and with his ribs protesting with every shaky breath he took he just couldn't concentrate on forming words.
"OK Sam... I get it... it didn't go well... which you and I both know; it was never going to go well... but... tell me what happened?" Bobby could tell that it wasn't just tears he was hearing. Sam had always been sensitive, but this wasn't just his father being an ass, this was something far more serious.
"Um... I need your help Bobby... I... We kind of got into it after I told him about getting into Stanford and... he... sort off... he got in a few punches" Sam says wheezing his breaths.
"Shit... OK, how bad is it?" Bobby asks as he grabs his keys and makes his way to the door.
"Umm... my ribs and my face are pretty banged up... I think the rest of me is just bruised... everything hurts" Sam says with a groan and he hears his uncle cursing as he gets into which ever old clunker was running and starting the engine.
"Shit Sam... ok... Where are you now?" He asks sympathetically. He just needs to get to the young man and help him out.
Sam takes a second to remember where the Motel was located and after a few seconds he tells Bobby where he is, and the Motel's location and they figure out that it would take a while for Bobby to get there. "Alright just... just sit tight until I get there, I'll take some of my short cuts and when I get there, I'll get you all sorted out and back to my place... Sam don't you worry OK, you can stay with me" Bobby said soothingly.
After hanging up, Sam moves on his hands and knees and locks the door, in case his father came back for a second round and then crawls towards the bed and tries to get up onto it but the pain in his ribs is too much so he just leans against the bed and hopes Bobby was going to be there soon because he could really do with some pain killers and a week of sleep and maybe even a good cry because he had told his father about getting into Stanford on a scholarship and he was hoping that his father would be proud of him but instead he was beaten to a pulp for it. He could only imagine what his father would have done, if he had told him about being gay, he probably would have been beaten up anyway, or had been sent to some conversion camp or his father could have tortured it out of him to make him the son he always wanted.
Suddenly the shock and fear of what his father did to him comes flooding back, as tears start filling his eyes, he starts gasping out his breaths as he starts sobbing and the pain in his ribs flares up. He can feel himself spiralling and the memories of his father beating him and the pain in his ribs make him cry harder. As his vision starts to get all grey around the edges, he really hopes that it won't take Bobby too long to get here because he really isn't feeling very well "Help" He whispers as he passes out and slides sideways towards the floor.
Hours later Bobby is parking in front of the room that Sam said he was in and gets out and strides to the door and bangs on it "Sam!" He yells hoping that the young man could hear him "Sam, are you OK in there?" He says and he bangs on the door again and when he gets no answer, he looks around the parking lot to make sure he was alone and bends down and pulls out his lock pick to get the door open. Once it's unlocked, he walks in and closes the door softly behind him. He looks around the room and can see the evidence of a fight, a lamp is broken, and a chair has been pushed to its side "Sam?" He says to the seemingly empty room. When he gets silence in reply he walks further into the room and then he notices a sneakered foot sticking out beside the second bed and rushes to the body connected to that foot.
"Shit, Sam?" he asks frantically, he pats Sam's cheek trying to rouse him. Bobby checks the young man over for injuries then he notices the cuts and bruises littering his young man's face. "What the hell did he do to you?" Bobby was pretty sure he knew what had happened to the youngest Winchester, but he needed to know what injuries the young man could be harbouring.
"Sam, come on wake up for me" Bobby patted his face again anxiously.
"Oh God" Sam groans as he moves his hand to his stomach as the pain in his ribs flares up.
"Hey, Sam... let me see your eyes, open up" Bobby asked relieved that the young man was waking up
"Bobby?" Sam asks softly as he opens his eyes a little to look at the worried face of his surrogate father.
"Yeah Sam, it's me... I'm here... tell me what happened?" Bobby asks softly
"Oh God... um I... I told Dad that I couldn't go with him on some hunt because I wanted to go to School" Sam says softly his eyes filling with tears again
"And he didn't like that you were choosing Stanford over hunting, am I right?" Bobby asks knowingly as he took in the young man's injuries. He remembered when Sam had told him about his marks and that he had applied to go to Stanford. He knew that the youngest Winchester was going to have problems when he told his father, but he hadn't expected him to beat up his own son.
"Ah yes... he... he said... if I left that I couldn't come back... he showed his displeasure by just beating me to a pulp" Sam said bitterly wiping his eyes and gasping out a breath.
"Damn it" Bobby cursed
"I can't believe I was more worried about telling him I was gay, let alone that I got into a prestigious university" Sam looks to Bobby with shocked eyes. He didn't mean to blurt that out.
"Dang it Sam..." Bobby looks at the young man and gives him a small smile. He has always kinda suspected that Sam was gay, but he never brought it up out of respect for his privacy. He always thought Sam would tell him eventually. He didn't care about any of that stuff, he just wanted the young man in front of him to be happy and truly over the years he had seen that happiness get sucked out of him by his father's high expectations and pressure to be just like him.
"Sorry Bobby... I... I know that's not... it's a lot... I didn't mean to say that... God, I'll just" Sam didn't know what to say, he tried to get up so he could get some space between them, but the older hunter stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, don't you worry, I could care less who you love... as long as your happy" Bobby says kindly
Sam closed his eyes in relief, he really needed someone to be on his side after everything that happened with his father "Thank you Bobby... I just... I can't believe this has happened. I mean I knew he wouldn't be happy about it, but I didn't think he would do this" Sam said with a shaky breath and he motioned to himself and his injuries.
"Yeah, John Winchester has always had a bit of a temper and I've been a little worried about you over the years... but I didn't think John would do this to you either" Bobby looked down at the youngest Winchester. "So, tell me what injuries I need to look over... you said ribs before?" Bobby went to grab the bottom of Sam's sweatshirt when Sam gasped and pushed his hands away.
"Wait, let me..." Sam moved back a bit and lifted his T-shirt underneath the sweatshirt as well "Just, I know what it looks like, and you're right" Sam lifted his clothing and underneath the blues and purples from the bruises, were mixed in with pale greens and yellows from older bruises as well as a jumble of crosshatched pale lines that look suspiciously like whipping marks that marked both sides of his abdomen and chest, as if the ends of a whip had flicked around and hit him on the front and if Sam was to turn around Bobby would see multiple stronger lines covering his back.
"That bastard" Bobby hissed out. Then he went about his business pushing slightly over the whole area, careful of the bruises to check if there were any broken ribs. "What the hell has he been doing to you boy?"
"Yeah... um he would use his whip as a way to get me to work harder, try harder, be stronger, be faster and well... I was never good enough so..." Sam said quietly with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Damn it Sam... why didn't you ever tell me this was going on" Bobby asked incredulously letting go of his clothing when he found no broken bones just deep tissue bruising.
"I... I didn't want to burden you with more of my problems." Sam said looking down "it's embarrassing that I didn't fight back"
"What? no... son, I don't blame you... he was your father, he shouldn't have been doing that to his own kid, but it's hard to get out of a situation like that when it's family, but you know I would have helped you with anything right..." Bobby knew the reason he hadn't told him about the obviously constant whipping was because he was worried that Bobby would inadvertently mention something to John and it would get worse. John was very private and didn't want anyone to know what he was working on or what he was doing to his own son. Well Bobby wasn't going to help the eldest Winchester with anything ever again, in fact if he came near his junk yard again, he was going to shoot him.
Sam sighed "I know... I just... I got used to it I guess... sort of a Stockholm Syndrome situation thing" he said with a shrug
"Well, you don't have to be used to it anymore" Bobby put his hand on the young man's shoulder "You're going to stay with me until you have to go to Stanford and then if you need anything you can call me, ok?" Bobby smiled when Sam nodded his head a little.
"Alright, let's get you up and get you to my car and you can rest on the way to my yard" Bobby said moving so he could pull the man up slowly. The whole thing took a while, but they finally got Sam on his feet, both men panting.
They made their way slowly out of the room towards Bobby's car. Bobby would come back for the bags once he had Sam in the car. As Sam sat down slowly in the passenger seat, he groaned and adjusted the seat, so it was reclining to take pressure off his ribs. Bobby closed the door and rushed back into the room, grabbing Sam's bags and tidying up a little and closed the door behind him. He put the bags in the trunk and went to the office to pay for the room. He avoided any questions the manager had about Sam, he said he had heard yelling and had checked on him. He got back in the car and seeing that Sam had fallen asleep, he started the car and started the long drive back to the safety of his junk yard.
TBC
