CHAPTER 44

I do not own skip beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.

Breathless and covered from head to toes in blue and grey, they were now both sprawled on their backs, trying to catch their breath and a chuckle escaping their lips every few seconds. They had lunched at each other with paint for most of the hour.

"So, you can still have fun" Kyoko eventually got out.

"Damn right, I can!" He grumbled with pride but still bit of amusement in the voice.

She giggled and they fell into another blissful silence, recovering.

After another moment she felt him shift on the plastic they were situated to avoid messing the floor and turned her head to watch to discover he was looking at her softly.

"I have missed this" he declared.

"You have missed being covered in paint?" Kyoko asked with an arched brow and an amused twitch of the lips.

He grinned but replied with severity.

"I missed having fun with you, kyoko" he corrected," I missed spending time with you. I missed the carefreeness we had when we hanged out as children and the ease and closeness we were starting to have just before you left. I missed you" he ended with such a genuine and earnest Kyoko felt disarmed.

Touched but not daring or being able to express the intensity of what she actually felt, of the glimpse she just had, she settled to one thing.

"I missed that too. I missed you too"

They didn't say more and when her attempts at making him go take a shower first failed, she went for it with a new grumble for the future wash of her hair and the among of work it would need considering the length of it.

He chuckled some more and said it was well-deserved.

Laid out on her floor, Ren contemplated the ceiling incapable of formulate a coherent thought in his upside-down universe. A soft smile was persisting on his face.

His heart was still beating hard in his chest. He was obviously still covered in paint though he was barely conscious of it. The touches still burning his skin. The laughs still echoing.

His breath was coming out steadily but he felt like he couldn't aspire enough oxygen at once. Such a thing was breathing. And yet he wasn't. And he was, more greedily than ever before. Like it was his first air. Inconsistent thoughts were forming, dissolving before taking shape. Sensations imprinted in every fibres, every nerves he had. It was searing inside his guts and Ren swallowed, his palate parched.

Electricity coursed through him making him more put than ever. A true living paradox.

His being was alive.

No.

It was throbbing with sensations he had never experimented.

Not even before the dramatic turned of his past. Not even before things got complicated for him. Even when he was still perfectly happy, a mere child with his parents, he hadn't such a surge of life in him.

Putting his forearm on his eyes he began to laugh, wildly, barely refraining turning it hysterical.

What was that?

What the hell was happening?

What was he feeling?

He wanted to roar, he wanted to cry and he kept laughing but he couldn't figure it out.

The door opened.

She surprised Ren by being back sooner than he expected, though he had time to calm down, wearing a light pink off-shoulders ribbed sweater dress with some thin white pants, her long hair still wet and unruled she smiled meekly and informed him he could go.

He rose from his sitting position and locking his thoughts about her current appearance, he wouldn't let his eyes follow the droplets gliding on her light skin, around her face and giving such an engaging comfortable feel he wanted to take her in his arms just so he could roll himself in what she inspired him. No, he wouldn't.

He thanked her and went in the bathroom.

Water shattered in billions of little drops on his head as he entered the shower after discarding his painted clothes. The water flowed washing away the paint, robbing him of the colours he desperately needed to stay in his heart. Of the ones he wanted to bury into him like reminders of those new shards of joy.

His lids closed as blue and grey pooled at his feet and Ren tried to cool down. Opening up his eyes landed on the walls of the cabin and besides them the shampoo and soap. Ren grabbed hold of the shampoo and uncapping it before breathing in the sweet floral scent. He poured a fair amount in his big hand and began massaging his scalp with it humming happy at the scent floured his senses.

He did the same the soap, basking in the familiar odours and would have want to roll into them would it have had her very own unique scent added to it. He rinsed and come out, drying himself in her soft towels in a daze before looking for the clothes he had when he arrived that he had let here earlier. Founding the pile with his pull, slacks and long sleeves t-shirt; he passed on the pants and shirt. Then he cleansed his jog's clothes as much as he could and after some wringing, he put them in a plastic bag and came out.

When he got out of the washroom, Kyoko had removed the tarpaulin and washed what little had been on the floor and was currently cooking something.

"Hey" Ren started and she turned to him. "I had to borrow some soap and shampoo, I hope you don't mind?"

She shook her head and hey him with a smile too.

He hooked his duffel bag at one chair and approached her, his eyes gliding. Once again, unable to stop himself. Her gracious but muscular back making him want to kiss his way to the top on it and caress every curves and muscles. Her hair mostly dry curling a bit at the heads and circling her waist amorously. Her slender elongated legs.

He rubbed his face hiding the view before he would be tempted to stare at more improper places.

It should be forbidden to be so enchanting…Mostly pouting at this unfair torture.

He closed in and peaked above her right shoulder.

"What are you cooking?" He questioned.

She jumped a bit at his proximity then relaxed again and didn't chase him away. Ren was really starting to becoming addict to the changes. She didn't back away anymore. She froze no more. She teased him!

It was exhilarating.

"Crispy fish and vegetables" She replied, " We spent a lot of energy with our previous activity, not seeing what her ambiguous words were doing to the poor man beside her, so we need to refill and like that you can't escape" She finished with a grin.

"I don't plan to ever escape" He whispered too low for her to catch it.

"Would you like me to take care of the rice?" he proposed and Kyoko turned her face at him with a terrified look.

"Hey! He protested, I can at least do that" but under her fixed scrutiny he finally added rubbing his neck with embarrassment.

"I practiced a bit" Ren explained and Kyoko incredulous look made him even more awkward," I should be able to do five no, maybe six dishes now he still said.

"Now, that's impressive" Kyoko commented, still not quite believing it but mostly not understanding why he would go into such an hurdle knowing his aversion for food.

He nudged her in the side.

"Quit mocking me, will you" Ren demanded, "Even I, can improve in cooking if I try a bit"

"Well, I know Kyoko said with a shook of the head, "But it's the reason why you would do such a thing that is really obtuse" She told him turning back to the stove.

Ren blushed lightly but didn't answer. He couldn't really say his true reasons, could he? So he opted for an half-truth.

"I didn't have someone to help me feed myself anymore He told her with a crooked smile "and you would have murder me if I hadn't at least try to eat times to times so well… I needed to manage" "Now, can I have the rice he asked holding out his giant hand in front of her nose with a stern gaze.

There were so many things that were wrong in his explanations that Kyoko just opened her mouth and stared with a myriad of frowns.

I needed to try to eat…

Times to times…

And it's like he's telling me, he only accept to eat if it's coming from me…

She closed her mouth, giving up. He was trying. It was better than nothing.

Kyoko chuckled at him and got out the sack of rice from the cabinet before raising it to him with a false worry. If he said he now knew then he knew, she believed him.

"Don't burn it, please" keeping the charade on.

He glared at her and robbed the sack from her hand. He was clearly vexed and it was hilarious to watch.

As told though the rice was perfectly cooked when he proudly handed it over to her and Kyoko couldn't her giggles and they seated themselves at the counter.

They ate mostly in silence, rather starved after everything and Kyoko had to admit that though his plate hadn't been big he finished it without her having to resolve to threats.

When they were done, the evening had fallen on them and Kyoko was sitting after bringing some tea when Ren stopped her from pouring it in his cup as his long fingers curled around her wrist making her put down tea-pot.

"You don't want tea?" She asked and Ren shook his head.

"I do he said nonetheless, but just for a second" he demanded and she nodded though puzzled.

He paused for a moment, seeming to look for a way of saying something and Kyoko waited patiently.

"Do you remember our chat of earlier?" Ren asked, "Just before showing" he added and Kyoko nodded with a genuine smile.

"I did miss you, Kyoko" Ren repeated, looking at her straight in the eye and Kyoko passed her hand through her hair not able to prevent the light that still appeared at her trouble.

"I miss-

He raised a hand to stop her, smiling softly to reassure her. He inspired briefly before throwing caution to the wind and voiced a part of what he really wanted. Running away from her was not something he was able to do. Not anymore.

"Do you think we could recover the relationship we had before you left? He questioned. "No he said shaking his head and Kyoko couldn't help the throb of pain he she felt before even knowing what he was going to say.

"Rather, Ren started back settled on something in his head, "do you think we could be closer than in the past?" He pleaded to her with fervent honest eyes. "I know you needed the distance, to have a fresh start. I know and I respected it he said. But you're back. You're back he repeated fiercely like he was asking if it meant he didn't need to stay away.

She smiled softly, defenceless, what could she do against such a look. She was shaking from the inside at the sincerity he was showing her, at what it made her feel; at how much she desired that those things were more than what they were.

She nodded and he greeted her answer with a relief look.

"You're back Ren started again rubbing his neck, but a lot is different and I don't want to pressure into anything but-"

"But?" she pushed when he didn't continue. She knew it was dangerous to her but she couldn't care less at the moment because it seemed like it meant a lot to him and anyway she couldn't bring herself to refuse him anything when he was asking it like he would die without it.

"But I want us to be able to be at ease again Ren eventually divulged," to be closer even" He added in a longing tone murmur eliciting deep chills on her back before looking at her through his giant lashes. "Could it be possible?" He demanded.

Her brain short-circuited for a second.

Damn man!

That was cheating.

She breathed out to composed herself and looked back at him, wanted to strangle her fairy for a second for rattling her so much.

"Well, Kyoko began, it's true, time had passed and we are different. She smiled at him a bit bitterly. " I know it doesn't change a thing but just so you know, if I had felt I had another choice that cutting ties as much I did, I wouldn't have taken that road" He nodded and let her continue.

She watched her hands on the counter, now free of his grasp as he had retrieved his owns to his side. She rubbed her wrist, already missing his touch.

"We were closer than before just prior I left she agreed, but I don't think we were that close either. I was too used to keep you at arm-length"

He nodded eagerly, his eyes growing of size to see she was aware of that and how much she had changed.

Kyoko snorted at his reaction.

"Yes, I'm aware. In my defence, I had thought you were only my sempai for most of the time we had known, not three people at once and certainly not my childhood fairy friend" She explained.

He grimaced at that.

"Sor-

"Don't" Kyoko stopped him. "I was never angry about that and you know it. I already told you that day years ago that I was happy you are corn and Kuon" She said, looking at him with softness.

He acquiesced in silence, so much more tenderness coming back in his eyes she had to focus to talk.

"Mostly she explained, the issue was I was too used to treat you as my sempai rather my friend and it was hard changing that completely even after knowing everything"

"And I-

She stopped, messing her hair wildly with a hand out of stress and in an attempt at finding a way to convey what she was trying to say.

Busy looking at her messed up hair that in his opinion was giving a savage sexy look, Ren missed her mumble.

"Could you repeat that?" He asked, feeling guilty for not paying attention to what she was saying.

She sighed and repeated louder.

"I don' think I would have been capable of being normal around you she uttered and seeing his hurt face she added quickly.

"Not totally at least"

"But you said you were okay with me being-

She shook her head again and looked sternly at him.

"Ren, she started again with a serious face, listen well. You being Corn, Kuon or whatever had never and will never be the issue"

"But then- he began.

She sighed and looking back at him, she grinned weakly.

"I wasn't mature enough, Ren She admitted. She frowned looking for the right word. " I felt unsuitable to be your friend. Not adequate"

Especially with what she was feeling for him.

Ren opened his mouth in protest, ready to pounce and she grinned again.

"I was a teenager, Ren. And for the hell of me, I couldn't understand why you want me as a friend rather than a proper adult" She explained, not letting him replying and continuing.

"Yes, even after knowing you were Corn she added," Not because you weren't my friend but because I felt I wasn't the right person or that you could as an adult or as equal of you had something you wanted to share or talk about"

Raising her hand, she stopped him again.

"I felt inadequate because I felt like child she said, "Which you sometimes treated me as such too" she added with a light grumble and Ren pinched his lips to refrain to interrupt again.

"Which I was Kyoko agreed."I was a child" She repeated when Ren shook his head in negation. "I was because I wasn't mature enough to realize you might not care about that" she finished with a smile.

Ren lift his head at that and thought it through until understand marred his face as he was finally getting what she was saying.

"So, Kyoko started back, a tint awkwardly, I wouldn't have been able to be comfortable at that time. Not because of you but because of who I was and how I felt" Kyoko expressed, letting through a little more truth than planned.

"Then Ren began once more, today, could we try again? He asked earnestly. "To be closer. Like when we children"

She grinned. Adorable dork.

"Like when we were children?" She asked, arching a brow. "Are you planning to fly, Mr fairy?" She pondered. "Or like our paint play from earlier?" She teased and he smiled but blushed a bit to her utter disbelief.

"I meant as carefree and open as when we were children" He corrected.

She didn't know. It would be hard for more than one reason. Years had passed. She had become sort of a loner. She was still totally irrevocably in love with him and he could never know that.

"I know it's been long and that I don't know who you really are he addressed again looking at her, but I would like to know who you have become, please" he added at the end.

He really didn't have to try so much. She already knew she had lost her own game of avoidance. And she wasn't able to resist the pull he was anyway.

There was no universe where she would have been able to say no when he was reaching out like that and asking for her attention. She wasn't strong enough. And she wanted it as much if not more than him.

She chuckled.

"Well, I don't see why we couldn't try Ren-Corn-Kun She said, pronouncing each names purposely.

The warm from his expression that followed when she said that made her think she would melt. The happiness was oozing from his pores.

"Thank you" he whispered, looking in her eyes.

He finally had to leave as he had an early shooting and Kyoko saw him off to her door.

They bid goodbye and he kissed him on the cheek, once again, telling her he would call her and Kyoko wondered how she had drown herself in this new hole.

She took a deep breath, shuddering to the core and brought out her phone. Her hands shook. She searched frantically for the addresses of the sort and got out. She needed to expulse the energy. She needed the longing out. She needed to voice this pulse making her heart a ticking bomb. She couldn't keep it inside or she would lose it.

When he reached his apartment, he opened the door and closed it behind him. The air escaped from him like it was siphoned from his lungs themselves and he heavily leaned back on the door.

Today was the day he decided, his torture had begun.

Because today,

Today, for a very short second, he had brushed it as much as with the tips of his fingers than with his heart.

He had brushed what it could be.

He had brushed what it should be. Wanted it to be.

He had brushed…Together…

PS: Soooo…I really hope you'd like this one, it was exhausting emotionally, arff arff…

Those two, I swear…I'm so tired now…

Anyway, read and review. It's my food. Feed me for more. Beg me is even more tripping.

Kisses.

AUTHOR OUT.