CHAPTER 66

I do not own skip beat. Yoshiki Nakamura does.

Depth's shards

It took more than a few seconds but she eventually disentangled herself and her lips from his.

Don't!" He thought, not wanting to ever let go.

But she still did, she distanced their bodies from a few inches. Then, emotion prickling their every senses, they stared at each other. He wished he could have said something, but just not grabbing her back, just controlling this feeling shattering everything inside of him, and that beg for mercy, for release; was demanding of him all his focus.

There was not one single parcel of him that was not longing to explore pleasure further with her, that did not urge him to keep her in his arms forever, or that did not press to cuddle or shower her with attention. Physical, yes but even more emotional. He wanted to drown her into his love. Support her, care for her. Spoil her until she would beg for mercy or strangle him. Spend all the time he would be granted with her. All eternity. And cuddle, countless days of cuddles.

She didn't look away. He didn't either. He would not have been able to, regardless.

Someone said something not so far away but he didn't pay attention. It was repeated and though he still didn't understood what had been said, he got the person was talking to the director.

He disregarded.

He rose his hand and his fingers stroked her cheek.

"You alright?" he asked.

Her eyes shined something odd but she nodded.

"You?" She asked back in that same low tone.

Was he alright? Ha!

Hell…He was so much more and so much less than that. He couldn't tell her this, though. He sank his head in the crook of her shoulder, and she let him. The intensity of her gaze was blinding his mind.

Oh Kyoko…

"Was it-…okay?"She continued, unaware and weirdly worried. "I wasn't too brutal? I didn't hurt you, right?"

If it was okay?

If it was okay!

He wanted to die.

To qualify this as anything else than otherworldly would be ludicrous, and it kind of pissed him off she wasn't even realizing it. You just sent me to the carpet as if kisses where punches in a box ring, and you are asking this?!

He growled at her and she jumped a bit. He clamped back his arms around her when she nearly fell from his lap and mumbled an apology. It was not her fault she couldn't see how wrecked apart she had just made him.

Even now, he still didn't have the words.

He shivered in remembrance. Such passion…If he wasn't so sure she had been in her role…

Where had she learned to kiss like that?

And how was he ever supposed to accept the possibility of only being friend after such a ravaging kiss?

To not risk everything for more if this bliss was the more?

She softly threaded her fingers in his hair, and whispered:

"The director is coming to talk to us, are you okay?"

"Give me a second."

He breathed in deeply, taking his full of her scent and looked back up at her from his head resting on her shoulder into her patient eyes. She smiled at him, tentatively, and arched a brow in question.

He acquiesced and resumed a straighter sitting position as he saw the director looking at them.

"You are finally out of it, you two?" He demanded with a grin. "We have other scenes to shoot, you know."

They blushed and turned their heads away from both each other and the director.

Ren caught Kyoko back at the hips and deliberately slowly removed her from his lap in an easy lift before letting go once she was on her feet.

This was not okay. Letting go was not okay. His insides twisted.

The director looked at them severely.

"I'd like you two to let me a little work," he begun, "I'm warning the both of you, if you keep this up, I will push perfection above perfection just so I have the impression to be at least useful. Well that, and apparently it's possible to reach beyond and further if it's with you two."

They both looked at Shingai-san with confusion.

The director sighed at them.

"It's a one-take" He told them."You nailed this and your chemistry is so much above what I had imagined than I'm suddenly very happy I'm reaching for an international release. It would have been too far for a Japan-only one."

It made Ren happy if this was the case but-

Seeing their still hesitant faces-they were just still processing in fact, the director insisted.

"Do you have any idea how unbelievably steamy it was?!" He told them. "There was so much sexual tension it's like it was dripping away and drowning everyone in the quakes! I might need to ask the tech team to edit a few things out even…"

"Director!" They both exclaimed.

"What?!" He countered. "I'm not lying. You were too-absorbed and in-character but I had to evacuate half of the people from the room."

Ren looked around and sure enough there was much more vacancy and room than before.

"I knew you got along well and that we shouldn't have too much issues on that part but I hadn't expect this," He ignored them and rambled, "I don't know what make your chemistry that good but keep it up, it will make this movie all the more incredible."

Ren dropped his head in his hands with a groan at Shingai-san. Damn it, he would bet anything this was his fault. Had he slipped so much feelings into this unconsciously it had been seen in the scene? He sure knew he hadn't been Toga once during that scene. He glanced at Kyoko. She didn't seem pained or upset. Embarrassed, yes, awkward, a bit. But not struggling. Rather composed even. Annoyingly so.

Though, he still felt happy with the director's remarks.

People thinking they looked good together, had good chemistry, all of it; he wanted that.

The director foreshadowed how the next scenes would unfold considering how it had and told them they were ahead of schedule and would thus move on to some different scenes than planned. Then he told them to take a break for the next hour and went fetching the other actors to shoot something else.

Ren stumbled into his dressing room and into a seat after, all too happy to not have to stand. He was suddenly relieved there weren't more intimate scenes to shoot as he wondered how he would have survived more of this.

He dropped his forearm on his eyes. It had been a fucking scene. Just one kiss scene. One kiss. And letting go had felt so wrong. It hadn't even been real.

Am I able to pretend to be in a romantic relationship in an act with her? To indulge nonchalantly those characters we are playing as if this intimacy with her wasn't everything to me?

He wasn't sure.

His pride as an actor would make him try. He would never give up. But-he really was not sure. Not with so much pent up feelings in him anyway.


When Kyoko entered her room, she wanted to slap herself. She hadn't even been able to contain herself for one fucking scene! She had been in character at first but a few seconds of grazing those lips had been enough to undo her, and what was supposed to Jen getting passionate had been completely her. She had felt so much all at once, those unbelievably soft lips-her memories really hadn't been fair to the reality-, her desire pouring out, the feeling of him under her thighs and around her, his silky strands in her hand.

The strength of those muscles, of those large shoulders, rippling under her fist as she had been holding him close, mostly wrapping herself around his shape; gripping as much of him as she could, so terrified of when it would end. Because she had known it was only a borrowed second to a glimpse of what she truly wished for, thanks to the characters they were acting. She had cheated. She hadn't been in character, she had just selfishly taken those few seconds of paradise for herself, not caring even her job, because she hadn't been able to help herself. She had longed for those strong arms for so long that when she had finally been granted to be in the gigantic soft firm cocoon of his embrace- even under pretence- she had jumped on it. She hadn't wanted it to be an act. She had desired to be herself. To feel him around her, to bath in his glow, in his warmth, in his scent; as Kyoko.

She had egoistically taken advantage of the situation because of her greed for that man. She was a bad woman.

And yet, the taste on her tongue, on the pulp of her lips; made it impossible to fully regret. The way he hadn't opposed any resistance and had tightened his long arms around her, nearly painfully so but so pleasurably too were still making her tremble. And the way he had responded in kind, no, even more, desperately kissing her back; it had felt so good, it had been everything and her core clinched in an achingly sweet tingle at the memory.

Her body tumbled down the wall she had been leaning on and she gripped at her hair as tears begun to appear. She wrapped her arms around her sides and hugged herself before bending her head to her knees. Void soundless screams pushed through her and she hoped it would be able to pull the agony out of her. She wanted it out. She wanted it out.

She sobbed. Silently. Achingly. She sobbed.

Why...

Why reality couldn't be different? It was not fair. It was not fair.

She wanted that man. He was her world. Her magic.

"Corn…"


After the first day on set and that scene that would become iconic in the future, the filming of Quest of the Living proceeded without any mishaps or other major event and two weeks went by peacefully. To the delight of Shingai-san who was very happy with the current pace of filming and how good it was going. There were still the fights scenes to shoot and training for those but as most actions scenes would be shouted during the second period of filming, the practices sessions for it still hadn't start. The director also knew the trip with Ren and his friends would be coming soon, and he had judged the risk of starting the training for those scenes and seeing go to waste with a long pause in-between, was too high. Both Ren and her had proposed Shingai-san to simply continue to train during the break but the director had refused.

But Kyoko had decided adding a little personal training on her own, would do wrong. She needed to keep her up with her personal workouts and training anyway and stay in shape. She was used to do at least two workout sessions a week and to maintain her level in Karate and self-defense, two others. Or she tried to anyway, aside to the weeks her schedule was too packed.

So she had peeked into the sort of training the choreographs and coaches were planning to make them do, and had decided to replace two of her four session by similar exercises to what they would do. Though she could only take care of the one where she did not need a partner for it.

Ren had had to go back to London for some modeling job a week ago and wouldn't be back right away which had already cut by half her time on set, which had gave her the time to make a quick round trip of 5 days to the US to shoot some final scenes before going back.

She had only returned two days ago in the morning, and had the shock to learn that some nasty bug had been circulating for a few days and that part of the cast was sick. She had been glad Ren had been away and had escaped the risk to be sick.

That what has resulted in her peeking in future fight training and choreographies. She was bored, and had suddenly a lot more of time. Even the director had been indisposed at some point, and had only recovered enough since two days. So, they had shouted several of her own alone scenes during those days- her Jen was a strong lonely girl after all-, and even like that she still had had free time.

So, she had started training hard on some of the choreographies planned on those times, and she knew she would even more in the next days. She had only 3 hours of filming tomorrow, and same for the day after that. And that was only if the still-standing actors meant to do the few scenes with her wouldn't happen to be sick. One had been showing some mild symptoms today, though the boy had refused to admit it, thus she was not even sure it would happen. She had proposed the director to set a back-up plan if it was the case and shoot them all they could tomorrow if the boy was still in state before it would get worse. She had also handed over some medicine and spent some time with Kazuma-kun -the boy- in hope to help if he was falling sick, but he was not too fond of her apparently and was as cutely stubborn as preteens can be, so she had been pretty useless in that area. He had decided on his own it was better to rest before so he would be better for day after.

In consequence he was resting today and Kyoko had only had one hour of filming then was dismissed.

Which she hadn't mind much all things considered. As planned, she would spend that time repeating some of the moves choreographed for the future fight scenes. And some where she was supposed to be showing how to execute some movements perfectly to Ren's character.

She needed to get her mind off things anyway. And working out was to exhaustion was a great manner to accomplish that.

She was haunted. Haunted by that first scene with Ren. By that fucking kiss they shared through the act.

Plus, Ren had been acting oddly ever since. Pestering her so much it was driving her mad.

And to think she had thought it was bad before.

Before he just asked to spend time with her. Now, it was like he was finding any excuse to touch her all the time, to stay close to her all the time. And she didn't have as much escapes than if they had been working in Tokyo. Here, the only moment she was in peace was when she was sleeping. They would act together. Eat together. He would propose her to do things together if they were free from work, and she was not damn strong enough to refuse when he pleaded and asked for her attention like that.

And of course, it wasn't she didn't like it. She loved it. Every second, every minute. But that was what made things even more painful. Each step they were closer, each time it hurt more it was just as friends. Each touch made her desire for another one. Each blissful moment in his company made a long for a deeper relationship. Each smile made her want to kiss him. Even worse since that scene happened. It just made harder to resist, because she wanted another taste.

Each brush, each intimacy made her more starved to be in his arms, made her imagine caressing his whole body, and made her crave those brushes happening on her naked form, in more intimate places.

Well, no need to beat around the bush so much. Basically, she was just sexually frustrated. Insanely so.

And that energy needed to be expelled, less she wanted to take the risk to jump on Ren the next time they had a close-in scene.

And that was without counting how emotionally on edge she had felt recently.

She was starting to think she would not last so close by his side like that otherwise. She could already feel the emotional strain it was having on her. If she spent too much time dwelling on what she had felt and still feel, she would break down again, or worse, her mask would crack too much and either he would discover her secret by himself or she would end-up telling Ren everything.

Thus, even before peeking on the choreography, she had started to spend more time at sport be more exact, she had never worked out as much.

She quickly changed to some sport legging and a tee and stepped her bare feet on the training grounds. She dropped shoulder-bag, script, towel and phone to the side and attempted some leisurely warm-up punches until sweat begin to break. Then she opted for a fast pace and let her frustration, her pain, her anger, all of that speak for her as she hit the sandbag. The situation she was in, hit. Her selfishness, another hit. How much she long for him, right fist connecting with the bag. His sweet infuriating constant closeness, another fist connecting. Her desires, her feelings for him, deep thrust into the bag. His tender smile, deep punch. His scent, punch. His skin's warmth when he held her hand in the past, during the heels time under her own hands, and when he hugged her during that scene, punch. Him, tickling her, punch. Playing with her with paint, punch. His gifts to her, punch. The dances at the Christmas masquerade, deep punch. His relentless pestering. Punch. His teasing. Punch. The countless little touches here and there. Deep kick to the side.

Him being Corn. The magic. Guam's kiss. Punch. Punch. Punch!

That kiss on set, jumped somersault kick!

Full of sweat and breathing heavily, she landed on her back and remained sprawled on the floor while she huffed out puffs of residual frustration. It was not a good day. She hadn't even started the rehearsal for the fight scenes and she was getting tired.

Just as she was calming down, her phone tinkled that familiar sound people associated with fairies jingles, warning her of a new message from the cause of all her troubles. She turned to her left right side, presenting her back to her phone and ignored her fairy man.

But five minutes later, as she was rubbing some sweat off after dragging herself to her stuff to grab water and towel, her phone rang the Tinkerbell song Float signifying she had an incoming call from him.

You are not hearing anything, you are not hearing anything… She tried to brainwashed herself but the ringing continued.

She endured and endured and-

"Goddamnit, fuck, fuck! I'm too weak!" She cursed and picked up the phone.

Why did he have to call now? When her feelings were all raw and itching.

"Hello" She huffed out, still a bit out of breath after her workout. Maybe she had pushed too far today? She was drenched in sweat, and she usually recovered faster and was not perspiring so much.

"Hi?" Came as an answer as his voice expressed his puzzlement over her tone and breathlessness. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly good" She replied still breathing heavy and actually starting to question if she really was herself. But she didn't tell him. He would just have worried over her or worse.

"You sound a bit-…out of breath" He countered and his tone was odd as he said this.

She gave up her straight posture and fell backward and on her back to rest again. It wasn't like he could know or see her. She guessed she really had overdid it with the exercising. But she had needed this. She still needed it. It kept her focus, prevented her to over-think things and let her mind wander. Most of all, it was a great way to evacuate her feelings and tire her body out.

Keeping the phone against her ear, she put her other arm over her eyes.

"I'm working out at the gym. You just interrupted me in the middle of it, that's why" She explained, trying to be as matter-of-fact sounding as possible. But seriously, she felt spent. She would stop for today and skip the remaining of what she had planned and go back at it tomorrow.

"…I see. If you are sure" He said and he sounded both distracted and unconvinced, which was impressive in her opinion. She chose to pretend she didn't hear his doubts though and asked him if needed something.

"Rude," He mumbled, "I just wanted to talk to you, can't I? Am I bothering you that much? Can't I even inquire about you? I thought it was clearly admitted we enjoyed spending time and talking to each other, or was I the only one thinking that? Don't you miss me at least a little? And you pretend that we are friends?!" He fired his questions in a grumbling fast teasing. It revealed to Kyoko that though he was mostly joking, a tiny part of him had been vexed by her response.

If she hadn't been as tired, she would have glared accusatory eyes at the phone. Damn man, she could hear his pouting on the other side just by the tone he had used.

"Goddammit Ren, would you please stop the bullshitting tease?! We saw each other barely ten days ago -though okay if she was being honest with herself, it was too long for her taste already but she wouldn't tell him that- and we talk regularly over phone and through messages. And if I utter a word of being a little more tired than easily you are going to shift into your worrywart ass! Yes, I miss you too but don't you dare to start, I'm not in the mood!" She cursed in one tirade before he could go on. She couldn't deal with this sweet soft voice tickling her ear as he poked at her right now. She had too much pent-up feelings to handle it. His affectionate teasing needed to stop. She had other things to do than get herself off! And to that, the only reply she got was shameless chuckles over the phone, provoking a shudder through her despite her overworked body.

She huffed at him, trying to be really annoyed.

"I never heard you curse so much in one sentence, or nearly ever actually" He commented and it nearly sounded like a purr.

"I'm tired, okay?" She grumbled more, having finally caught up with completely with the breathing. "And if that's bother you then stop the teasing!"

"I can tell you are," he said still a smile in the voice but a tint of worry already back-seriously, there was no need- but then he continued, "But no, it didn't bother me. In fact, it was rather sexy."

And he was back at it again. He was driving her nuts with his unconscious teasing. Why did he have to say that? As If it wasn't hard enough to forget about the taste of his lips during that scene.

"Ren, you know what? Shut up, okay?" She half asked-half demanded.

He blew out in laughs.

"You are so unexpectedly moody!" He said with what appeared to be deep satisfaction.

She blinked at that, and it came back to her what time of the month was coming. Right, of course. Well, that certainly wasn't helping. She inwardly sighed.

"You sound far awfully too content to tick me off, Ren…But yes, as said I'm tired, and even I can be grumpy sometimes so stop poking the bear!" She repeated herself, though her meager irritation had already dried off to be replaced by easy bantering. Really, he was too good with playing with her emotions. And she felt too good hearing his voice to stay annoyed.

She was bad.

"Of course, of course" He replied pleasantly and no doubt, that contentment was rooted in his voice.

She sighed audibly this time, the corner of her month tilting up against herself.

"You just can't help yourself…"

"…"

"…"

"Sorry?"He attempted feebly.

She groaned, giving up.

"…Anyway, how is it going in London?" She said, changing the subject.

They chatted off about work for a while then, and Ren insisted on her not overdoing the training before he had to go back on set and cut the line.

She had already planned to do as such so she willingly took her stuff and and left the gym earlier. But it was only for today, tomorrow she would go back at it.

The next day found what she had dreaded happening, and Kazuma-kun was so sick none of the scenes with him could be shouted. Same for the day that followed. She spent most her time at the gym, training, besides a few hours of filming. She had felt good enough after a good night rest so she had been able to resume her pace without anymore issue. Finally, at noon of the third day, the preteen felt better and the director had suddenly called her when she had been in the middle of another training, to ask if she could come to shoot all the scenes they couldn't do before. They wouldn't have time to later as they would be busy with more scenes with her and Ren and the training for the fight scenes.

She didn't lose time before agreeing, washed, retrieved her stuff and took the direction of the set right away, realizing and understanding -though not without some dread- how prolonged the day was foreseeing to be. And despite the exhaust view it implanted in her mind, she knew it wasn't anyone fault so she swallowed back any annoyance she could have felt over the tremendous addition of unexpected work for that afternoon, and just proceeded with the day. She just hoped the scenes would be filmed without any issue.

Her wish wasn't meant to be granted, sadly. That day, some scenes had taken more times than planned and she only met with her pillow at four a.m, she was drained; even more knowing she had to get up for seven at most.

She woke up feeling as weary or nearly as three hours before, obviously, and rushed to the scenes of the day. The team had squished the scenes they hadn't been able to take care of, despite they long and efficient day they had made out of yesterday- but they were just too many scenes pushed around with the absent people to still manage without packing the days to keep to schedule- and the following ones promised to be as hoard.

She entered the set after a skipped breakfast -she just did not have neither the time nor the energy for food, she knew someone who would mock her if he heard her-, and debilitated by fatigue.

Nonetheless, she had adamantly pulled through that day and the next ones, noticing some growing feebleness but still kicking, and it paid off as they finally caught up with their backlog on schedule at the end of the sixth day. In perfect time for when Ren would return as he was supposed be back in three or four days.

She just needed to conclude today, she just had three more scenes left, she could do it. Those were the words resolutely circling in her head as she dodged the now comradely weariness she had been feeling for a while. This outfit was so hot, she wondered why she felt like she was boiling inside of it, and she was sweating so much. She wanted to strip it all and take a cold bath. And sleep, sleep until the end of time.

God, she hoped they weren't going to pull an overlong nightly schedule today too.

She was so damn hot. She heard kiri-kun call the five minutes before resuming. She rest her back against the cool surface of the wall, she was glad for the thin shirt that permitted her skin to feel the freshness through it. Wait. It didn't make any sense. How could she feel so hot in a light outfit.

Nevermind. It wasn't important anyway, as long as she could have some freshness. She rested her cheek against the cement, relishing in the feeling.

She drank from the bottle someone had given her, sipping every single drop of it. She needed more water. She wouldn't be able to go the distance without more water.

She already felt so weakened. Just a few more scenes. Just a few more, she repeated.

She pushed herself away from the wall and went seeking water. She just needed more water.

She had been aware of her growing weariness expending, and had done her best not showing it, she did not wish to worry anyone. Everyone had to make an effort with the delay that had put them behind planning, it wasn't just her. It was really no one fault, and besides stressing the cast out, it would do nothing good and delay things even more if she was let show her tiredness. She was one of the three main leads, that obviously also gave her more scenes to catch up to when a lot was postponed. It was more sporadic for most of the other actors. Well, the technicians had it hard too. But fortunately for them, they could sit or take turn more often, even if they still looked rather spent too.

But most of all, she felt responsible. Oga-san was alright her and she was one of the main leads too. But Kyoko suspected her intensive training before those insane days begun hadn't played in her favor and that it might be why she was so exhausted. If she had rested well and taken it easy during those days, she might have felt less weary. Thus, it was her responsibility that her actions of those moments wouldn't affect her job.

She gulped down the second bottle and spend the last few minutes leaning against her dear cherished wall, eyes closed to rest and save up most energy.

Shudders ran down her body and suddenly she was cold. She tried to shrug away the thought she might have a fever, it wouldn't help her. And in any case, it wasn't the first time she worked under those conditions. She had done it when she was barely a teen at the ryokan and she had done it while she was working on some former projects in the US, she would do it again.

She must have been half-asleep when someone finally called for her because that person had to shake her to bring back her attention to the present.

"They are going to film the next scene" Kiri-san told her and she nodded before lifting her off the wall while trying to dissimulate how feeble she felt at the moment, and failing if the tech-man frown was any indication.

"You sure you are alright Kyoko-san?" he inquired, taking a step closer as if he thought she was going to fall. Kiri-san was really such considerate and kind guy. She smiled at him, grateful for the concern. He blinked a few times and took a step back and she wondered if in her state her smile had looked like a grimace.

She was not that fragile though.

"I'm fine."

"But you look really pale, I'm not sure-" He tried to protest but she didn't let him.

"Don't worry, I'm good" she assured and she walked away toward the stage in a very smooth-looking gait, and made sure absolutely no weakness in her step could be seen. She wanted to finish this. She would be able to rest later. A ten to twelve hours night would do the trick to revive her, she was positive.

She could feel insistent eyes on her as she placed her first foot on stage and joined the other actors, and they too, were staring in her direction. She arched a brow toward them and smile innocently, pretending to not understand what they were saying.

She guessed you could not feign color on your face as easily as you could simulate an easy step; and Kiri-san did said she looked pale.

Regardless, even if she hadn't been able to fool them completely, she hadn't complain and was standing, her fellow actors didn't have any reason to worry and must have understood her will to continue. She didn't look so bad. Hell, she was not so bad.

The cameraman gave them the go, and the scene started. Finally.

And as she had expected she was able to carry on, despite it not really being a short sequence. It wasn't that long either but the full exchange between the characters lasted at least ten minutes and they needed to film it from different angles.

And it appeared the other actors participating in that scene weren't the most fresh anymore either, so some of them made a little more mistakes and NGs than usual.

When the director eventually said the OK and considered they had everything required for that scene, two full hours had went by. And Kyoko had been able to hang on. It was long and unusually painful but she had been able to pull through. Which convinced her, they had been worrying for nothing.

They were granted a longer break and she went to swallow more water under the same eyes that were starting to get a little on her nerves with their persistence, despite knowing it was with good intentions.

She drank a lot, sat and rested a bit, and felt a bit reinvigorated after, and when the director called them back for next scene -despite the tiredness she still could feel- she had stopped worrying.

But then, as she was about to step back on stage, the world tilted a weird angle and she felt herself falling.


PS: Here we go, this is the new chapter. Hope you'll love it. Lot of kisses. Mimagfan.

AUTHOR OUT.