CHAPTER 118

I do not own Skip Beat! Yoshiki Nakamura does.

~~Magical Summer trip ~~

~~ part 24~~

~~Acquaintances of the past~~

~~part one~~

During the hours that followed their leave of the skate park, Ren showed her around more places. They took a small stroll around Echo Park Lake, a place Ren explained his parents adored, and loved to bring him with when he was a young kid.

And as she listened, Kyoko admired the huge water geysers rushing to the sky and out, the many palm trees surrounding the dazzling sparkling surface of the lake and casting pretty shadows here and there, as many swan boats led by people pedalling floated around them, from one side of the bank to the other. There were also countless white water lilies and plants, and you could see them all around. It was a truly beautiful spot, and she could easily imagine how it would be a wonderful place to spend some family time. She was so taken by it, in fact, she would have loved to try the swan boats, just to spend a little more time under the sun and near the water. It appeared so soothing and fun.

And at that time, she thought Ren had noticed too, because he led them to the renting area. It was quite unfortunate the attraction was ending early for some maintenance on the boats, and the last set of people had been already sent off.

He proposed her to go visit the Venise canals instead, and – … He had to laugh at her face, when she looked at him like he had actually proposed her to fly to Italy out-of-the-blue. It was only when he had explained he meant the ones existing in L.A., she stopped looking at him as he had lost his mind. And upon gazing on the beautiful tiny canals surrounded by grass and flowery bushes, trees and paved ways, cute mini houses, she had to admit he was right. It was as if a wild meadow had taken roots inside the city, led by tranquil lane of rivers, greenery sprouted like an enchanted forest, joyful, and non-bothered by the big city structures, faraway from their loudness. It had that out-of-time sensation that made you breathe deeply the moment you set foot there, and close your eyes. As if you were connecting with something special. You shoulders relaxed, and the loudness of the world ceased to be. Replaced by the quiet whisper of the river, of the birds chirping, of a child laughing.

She had commented the sensation of an out-of-time place to Ren, and he replied it could be. He explained his parents loved it too but the reason he hadn't proposed it from the get-go was you could find a little too much crowd, sometimes, and had to choose the moments to go wisely. He had thought they would be to Echo Lake earlier, and it would have made for a bad time to be at peace here, around the hours he had imagined they would be there. But since they had come later, it worked.

It was about that moment, when they were walking out of the canals, Ren stopped her.

"There are two more places I'd like to stop by before I propose we go look for supper, if that's okay with you?"

His parents had warned them they would come back late, and to not mind them, so she could only guess Ren had planned to eat outside too. She would have wished to propose to cook for both of them and go back to his parents' house, but it was not like she had asked if it was okay to use their kitchen, and she didn't want to be presumptuous or impose it on Ren if he wanted to revisit other areas of his childhood. Granted, she didn't really desire this day to end, spending time like this with him, visiting places he used to know, it was something unbelievable to her.

"That is fine by me," she said, "what did you have in mind?"

"Well – ," He said with a smile before looking at the watch she had offered him for his birthday, securely fastened around his wrist.

"It is a little after 5 p.m.," he noted, "so, I'd say the less fun part now, so I can show you a spot that is truly wonderful at sunset," he proposed and she nodded happily.

"All good for me." She replied, wondering what he meant by 'less fun'. Less fun than the later thing or less fun in general. She didn't ask, however. All the places he had shown her had been amazing and beautiful, so she had a hard time imagining a bad place to begin with, right now.

"Then, let's go."

And he led her back to the car.

§§§

They drove in quietness for a moment, and she was happy for the restful comfortable moment. Using those instants he focused on the road, to observe his manly profile. The strong angles of his shoulders under his shirt, the tall neck, the veins on his forearms and on the hands changing gears. It made her wish she could trace a path of kisses led by those veins and up to his graceful collarbones to bite at his chin on her way to lose her hands in his hair and purposely make a mess of them.

But the more Kyoko observed him, the more she started to notice something odd. If she had sensed the quietness of the vehicle as comfortable at first, she was now picking on the sudden tension of his shoulders, of a slightly quicker breathing, and an edginess, way too unnatural for him.

A foreboding feeling that this was linked to his past finally strike her, quite late if you could say that. And even if she wanted to ask, she refrained to.

He remained tense all the way he drove, and if anything, it even became worse when he finally pulled out of circulation, and parked the car. The minute he cut the motor, it was like he wasn't breathing anymore, wasn't seeing reality anymore, blinded by phantoms of the past, no doubt.

She caught his fingers between hers, finding them icy, even in this summer day. She couldn't even see his chest rising anymore. She pulled at each finger, rubbing them, teasing them, until she could drag his hand into her lap and wrapped both her hands around his own. Well, as much as she could when one hand of hers was half the size of his.

"Ren…" She whispered.

He didn't reply. That's when she noticed what his unseeing eyes were looking at. A tall building filled with at least four dozen flats, seemingly quite impressive.

" … where are we?"

His hand twitched.

"Ren, where are we?"She asked more strongly, even if she didn't want to brusque him. But it turned out to be efficient, and he turned haunted eyes in her direction, blinking a couple of times before life returned. But only to be replaced by the colour of sorrow, heavy and melancholic.

"It's …-but he closed his eyes, struggling to speak and she took his face into her hands until he was forced to look into her eyes again – "… It's Rick's old place. The one – … he used to share with Tina… The one I used to spend so much time with – … with him."

He pulled his face away from her.

"I'm not planning to stay long but – … I'm not ready to go – … I wanted to come here to – …" He sighed and rubbed his head in annoyance, clearly frustrated with himself. She tightened her hands around the one still in her lap.

"You don't have to justify anything, you know."

He took a deep breath hearing that, and gave her a grateful glance, relaxing his shoulders a bit, and giving up on speaking. He switched back his stare to the building, staring at it like a lost child… Hoping beyond hoping, to see… Just like when a kid got lost … is searching through the crowd for any sign of their whole world… Their parents. Hope mixing with dread and despair, and fear they wouldn't be there. Often, those stories had a good ending, but his eyes were looking in vain, and turned void after a while. And she knew he was lost in memories again.

She didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say, and this was between him and this building full of memories. So, she just held his hand, squeezing it at times, reminding him the present is here and now, reminding him of her being there, of the warmth of her hand. And let him be and do whatever he needed it to do. Let him say all the many words he never got to say, bid goodbye to this important place. She just hoped it would add another paved step on his way to healing.

For a long time, they remained there, him looking at it, and squeezing her hand in return at time, in response to her occasional rubbing.

Until-

"… There were months I used to go every day here," he said at last. Feeling it was safe she'd talk since he had done it, she asked.

"Do you want to go out?"

He took a minute to reply, and nodded.

"Do you want me to stay inside or come?"
He squeezed her hand harder.

"Please come."

Kyoko clicked out her seat belt and he did the same, before they both got out of the car, and closed the doors. Circling the car, she joined him to lean against his door of the car, as he observed the other street's side, somewhere above in the floors of a building. They didn't utter a word, just relied on the car, watching.

And she knows. She knows he is not really there. With her.

Even without moving a muscle, she can feel how fragile and trembling he feels. This dreadful void of life, of sound, of movement… They are telling her.

She slips her hand around his palm, and his long digits squeeze hers with their gripping strength. A rush of emotion passes through her at the touch, and a tremble possesses her lips. But she contains it, knowing what is assaulting him is much worse.

And when she moves her head his way, she notices the moist he cannot refrain at his eyes, and tightens her hand around his, bringing the only support she can think of. Knowing nothing, nothing would be enough … but that this nothing might still be crucial on this moment.

They remained standing in silence for a little while more until Ren moved, shaking himself. He let go of her hand, rubbing his face, and she let him collect his bearings for a minute.

He turned his way to her, apologizing quietly to her, and earning himself a shake of her head as she mouthed 'don't be ridiculous' to him, making him smile weakly.

He stepped away from the door and she did the same, getting he was probably ready -or even maybe eager – , to leave. But the minute he reached for the door's handle, a voice's echoed in the air, and she saw him froze mid-movement. But as abruptly as he had stopped he shook his head again – and for a second, Kyoko thought he was getting rid of old ghosts haunting him again – , and reached for the handle again.

But it happened again, and this time, Kyoko heard it too. Someone had spoken. Someone had called his name. His given name, to be precise.

"Kuon?"The voice enquired for the third time, a little closer, and Kyoko pivoted her head under the keen eyes of Ren, as if by her movement, she was confirming it was really happening, not just in his head.

And indeed, it was not his imagination, because, on the other side of the road, slowly walking down the steps leading to the apartments' edifice entry, a woman in the flesh and blood was. She had long light hair and appeared young, barely in her thirties maybe, and was making her way on the footpath with assurance. Her step firm as she looked both ways- in the clear intention to cross-, despite her excessively thin shape. In all honesty, Kyoko even got surprised, when, upon coming closer to them, she noticed that, in spite of her frail body, she had quite the muscles.

The woman was not paying her any mind, however. Her whole focus was on Ren, who was still absolutely frozen, and hadn't turned around. She stopped once she reached their own paved way of the road, a few metres from where they stood.

"Kuon?" She asked again, and Kyoko could hear so many different emotions in her voice, it was hard to know if she were glad and truly hoped it was indeed him, or if she feared it. But there was also sorrow and anger. At him? Or something else? She had no idea. But – unless she was terribly misled – she could only imagine one person coming down from the building they had been looking at. The woman crossed her arms, taking a defensive pause. "It is you, isn't it?"

"You are Kuon, right?"

She saw him close his eyes and straighten his shoulders, and he pivoted. Slowly, slowly. Oh, so carefully facing the lady.

When he faced her…

The snap of pain Kyoko felt at the sight of his face. She did not think she would ever have the words to express it. But it was physical. The punch she got when she saw his expression tore at her insides like no other, her respiration clogging in ache to see him so tormented. She didn't remember a time he had let anyone see that much sorrow appear.

The desolate gaze he addressed the woman was both helpless and oppressed by a weight that could not compare, and he smiled miserably at her.

"Hi… Tina."

If a tone could share – even a smidgen – of what he felt, that would surely be this one. He had never seemed so defenceless. As if he was proposing himself to the justice, he thought that woman detained. Giving himself away to any treatment, any word, any beheading she would deem fair to give him. As if he had dropped any shield he had, just so she could strike any angle she wanted.

And Kyoko found out she viscerally hated to see him like this. She wanted to step in front of him to serve as a barrier between them, prevent himself to make himself so vulnerable, and had to make herself violence not do it. She wished she could take back his hand, at least. To give a minimum of support. But she felt it would already be too much as those two adversaries faced each other in silence, gauging.

So, she just took a step closer to his side, and waited.

She was relieved when the woman, appearing kinda aghast when his stare connected with hers, staggered back and dropped arms and posture altogether, hoping it meant she would not attack with her next words.

A tense moment followed, and Ren seemed to hesitate far more than usual before speaking.

"… Do you still live – …"

He began but shook his head.

"How are y – …"

But he stopped himself again, closing his eyes, and just by the crease between his eyebrows, Kyoko knew he was blaming himself.

Then, he sighed from what seemed to be the bottom of his soul, and gave her a vague nod.

"We will leave, don't worry."

And he reached the door handle again, opening the car and –

"Wait."

Her one word had come out a little dry, a little muted, but they both had heard it.

He turned his head in her direction, and she crossed back her arms, breathing out deeply. She looked back then, and gave him a rueful smile.

"It has been a while, huh."

He gave a curt nod, careful, and very lowly said.

"If you want me to leave, I will. Don't force yourself."

She stared at him for a tad longer, but at the end, asked.

"Can we talk?"

Shock appeared briefly on his face, but he nodded again.

"I could propose you to go in but – ", she started, eliciting a shake of the head from Ren.

"That's okay, I understand."

"There is a quiet cafe two streets from here, if that's okay with you," she proposed and he agreed in similar fashion.

At that instant, Kyoko hesitated. She had been about to propose to wait in the car, while they would have gone to discuss whatever they needed to address. But even without witnessing first-hand, she also knew, one word from that woman -one wrong word – could crush so many efforts of his, during the years that passed.

So, while she didn't feel entitled to stay and be privy of their conversation, she did not feel safe leaving him alone with her, either.

She gave him a glance, asking in silence what he wanted her to do, so he'd know she would not impose herself if he would rather not, and he grimaced a bit, before glancing back at the woman Kyoko, now, had confirmed was Tina.

"Is it okay if Kyoko comes too?"

The woman agreed – if a little stiffly – , and she guided them on foot to the place. Something Kyoko was grateful for. Both because the further they walked away from his friend's former flat, the more control Ren seemed to gather, and because there was truly not much risk to cross many people. She had to admit it when they faced the establishment venture, hidden between two corners, and with a quite narrow entrance.

It was the perfect place to remain unnoticed.

They walked in utter quietness, and the little bell rang at the door as they passed the wooden panel, that only let them see what was inside from the upper side through a shimmering cross glass.

Inside, a high counter with several machines, and a lot of dinnerware faced them on their left, and tiny tables and chairs were dispersed all through the deep-seated floor, and she was quick to notice leading stairs to a second floor they could barely glimpse at from where they stood.

They stepped further in, and the place, partially empty at the moment, felt a little quiet, besides the subdued pop music, and the few customers. But it proposed a lot of corners with sofas set up, and the young woman led them to one, before sitting on the chair, letting them take the facing couch.

An even tenser silence installed itself, as all three of them sat so close, but neither of the two appeared willing to speak, and Kyoko considered with deliverance the waitress bringing their menus, followed with her quick decision to propose to go to the counter to order, when they appeared to keep unseeing eyes on the sheets of paper.

§§§

The minute Kyoko stood to go order whatever they had picked, Ren tensed. He had been unable to find anything, anything he could say.

Every single word he thought of, rang in his mind like gutless excuses, not worth being said. That shouldn't be said. As nothing, nothing, would ever repair what happened.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he could not bring himself to look at her in the eyes. Each time, it was as if a time mirror reflected how her gaze had glimmered with horror, while she would look at Rick, and seeing the new strength in her eyes, it just reminded him how much she had lost. If he could recognize his best friend's death did not make him a murderer today… If he could recognize his friend had made the choice of crossing… It was not and would never be as if he didn't have any involvement in it. He had his own responsibility to assume.

More so, knowing he was not the guy to blame, and feeling it, were two different stories to tell. In front of Tina, the only emotion wrecking his insides was guilt. Overwhelming guilt. He very much felt like the villain.

And he would never blame her if she decided he was.

Even if he now was able to dissociate, he would understand if she never could.

… And so the silence continued.

Until-

"… You changed a lot."Came out of her mouth, coldly.

His fingers, crossed tightly on the table, he looked up for a second. But when his gaze met hers, he could not stand the weight of her gaze, and closed his eyes.

He thought hard to what to reply. He knew he obviously was not the same person than he had been as a kid. Even when sometimes, he left like he was going nowhere. He did not think she would wish to hear about his life in particular.

"I … tried."He settled with. That was true enough. He was still trying, as far as he knew. And would always do.

Nothing came in return, and he found himself waiting for the words that would condemn him. He wished he could ask how she was. If she was … better. But he didn't think he had the right to.

"I blamed you… I blamed you so much." Her voice rasped in an angry whisper.

Ren tilted his head down in acknowledgement, of what was only right. But he did not look at her.

"Understandable."

"I still blame you… Sometimes."She added coldly.

He nodded again.

An angry sigh escaped.

"Don't you have anything to say in your defence?"

He tightened his lids in sorrow at the sadness he could still hear in her voice, and shook his head, his hands shaking at the memories that threatened to engulf him.

This time, he lifted his gaze to her. He met furious pained eyes that looked at him with frustration.

Because he thought it was not fair to her, he let her see a smidgen of his own pain over their common loss.

"In what purpose?" He let out, the next words he was about to pronounce already costing him. "You have every right, and it won't change anything… No word … will bring him back."

She looked at him harshly, but didn't reply, and he felt as if he was disincorporated, barely feeling his body anymore, as he continued.

"I could give you a hundred, no, a thousand apologies … but it wouldn't – "

His throat blocked as he felt the emotion submerge him, and he couldn't pursue. He saw her look away, her face filling with ghosts, and he tried to gather the shreds of his composure, as he cleared his voice and picked Kyoko queueing near the counter.

"For what it's worth," he resumed after a minute, "I am. Sorry, that is. I'm despairingly sorry and would give everything for things to have turned out – … another way…"

"I spent years trying – … well, not really making amends but … hoping that… That if I changed enough … if I dedicated my life to something we both loved, it would be worth … something…"

"That it would be a good way to remember him… To keep him – he gulped – … alive through it, and to account for…"

He sighed and rubbed at his face.

"Not that it is truly possible, but…"

"That's all I could do… Sorry."

Exhaustion settled on him like a sluggish coat as he breathed out his remaining emotions. It had taken him everything to utter those feelings aloud, and let her have a glimpse in what he thought these last years. But he knew that, if one person deserved it, it was her.

A sudden deafness followed when she didn't reply anything back, before the subtle sound of the cafe they were in, like the percolation of the brown beverage, the occasional feet walking, and the indistinct sounds of several voices mixing, and speaking at relative low volume.

"Kuon."He jumped a bit when she spoke his name, and looked up.

The anger appeared to have left her, and he could only perceive tiredness and a tad of … something, from her.

She looked at him with a certain reluctance and a concerned face he didn't understand, before asking.

"Does this mean you blamed yourself, all those years?" She asked, the tone cold, and he didn't know what she wanted him to say. At the end, he asked.

"Would it help?"

Tina looked surprise for a second with what he meant, before he saw the connection being made in her expression. If it could help her to know he had blamed himself, he would tell her all about it. Details, even.

She crossed her arms again, and stared at him at lengths, her face voiding itself of emotion, and he wondered if her calculating stare was because she did not believe or something else, as eventually, she gave a curt nod.

"Then yes. I had help in the last couple of years, but for the first five years, I think I only did that."He stared. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I would still be, if I hadn't received this help, and…" He sighed, he was already struggling when it came to share personal thoughts to close ones, but admitting this kind of thing to someone he used to know, but now, probably saw him as her enemy… It made his skin prickle. Yet, he forced his next words out. He didn't mind her rejoicing in his past desolation, not if it could console her in any little way.

"For a long while, I – … more or less, kept myself alone, and I was convinced that … since I didn't deserve anything as good as happiness or love … or even friends … it would be my life."

She deflated like a balloon, and groaned aloud. Which had been the last thing Ren had expected after letting out such an admission.

Tina rubbed at her temples, and Ren glanced at the counter the other side of the room, noticing it was finally Kyoko turn to order, and hoping she would return soon.

It was one thing to lie himself free for her accusations and reproaches, it was another to withstand her temper.

She stared up at him with a glare.

"Let's be clear, here. I was allowed to blame you, I would still be allowed to, if I wanted, alright?!"

"Of course."

But he didn't see where she was going with that.

She groaned again.

"But that is something that concerns only me, not you, and that doesn't mean I am right."

"I – "

He didn't even know what he wanted to say. He stared in her direction, noticing how frustrated she showed, and was at a loss.

"I'm sorry but I'm confused."

She mumbled a curse.

"I blamed you several times," she said again and he nodded, naturally, earning a glare from her, "but that didn't mean I was not aware it was wrong of me to do so."
He frowned.

"It was not wrong of you."

She looked like she wished to strangle him, so, he shut up.

"It was."She insisted. "And it was wrong of me to scream what I said to you at that time."

He jumped at the mention of that, her words ghosting in the air around them, and he felt his shoulders relax. He knew he shouldn't, he knew she was probably just trying to make amends too. He knew she might still think those words, but… It was still like a weight had been lifted from above his chest. Eventually, though, he shook his head.

"You were in pain and in shock, and had all the reasons to choose me as a target. It wasn't."

She crossed her arms again, and he suddenly remembered she loved to do that when she was annoyed.

"It was. Even if I was in shock, I shouldn't have said that to you."

He was about to protest again but she cut him when she lifted a hand.

"I know better than anyone how much you cared about Rick," she inspired for a second before adding softly, "I should never have said you should die in his stead."

Ren looked away, fighting his own memories.

"It's okay."

She shook her head.

"No, it's not. It wasn't then, and it isn't now. Especially knowing what you said."

He was more and more lost.

"I didn't say this for you to feel guilt, I thought you would rejoice in it, and that – "

She smirked.

"I know. And that is precisely why I pretended I would love your suffering. I knew you wouldn't say much of what happened if I showed concern." She added, and then, to his utter shock, she took one of his hands.

"Kuon, you are no murderer. I'm sorry."

God-smacked, he looked at her in deep incomprehension. He could not believe Tina – the last person that should do that – was apologizing to him. He furrowed his brows at her.

"I thought you – … You said you – …" He gave up on talking and just stared at her, a very tiny snort escaped from her.

"Yes, sometimes I can't help myself, I blame you," She said with a nod and a tiny shrug. "But it's irrational, and that's between me and me." She captured his gaze with a kindness he never thought he would see directed at him again from her. One he wasn't sure he had earned.

"Because, deep down, I have known you didn't deserve it, and that you weren't responsible."

She must have seen his reluctance at her words, because she added.

"I know you never wished for that to happen."

"I didn't. But that doesn't absolve me of everything."
She smiled ruefully.

"Maybe. But that doesn't make you the sole responsible either. For the records, I blamed you, but I also blamed him for foolishly running onto that road, you know. That idiot."She added, sourly.

The shadow of a smile pulled at Ren's lips at her grumpy words, reminding him of when she was annoyed at how reckless his friend could be.

"More importantly," she added, focusing her attention on him again, "I know he would have smacked both our heads if I had let you think of you this way. He wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself, Kuon, or forbid yourself happiness."

He shook his head, he already had faith in those words, thanks to Kyoko, mostly, but he could hardly believe Tina was the one saying those words to him, this time.

She waved her hand threateningly.

"You better not be resisting this. Me blaming you is one thing, but you blaming yourself is something he would not have allowed, do you hear?"

This time, more of a real smile crossed his face.

"That's not it," he said, "I'm just having a hard time believing you are the one saying this to me. But I did say I had received help, and you sound just like her."
"Eleven years have passed. It would be dreadful if I hadn't been able to move past that – if only a little – after all this time." She said dryly but the voice also prideful.

"I guess it would be."He said, wondering what that said about him.

She arched an impeccable brow at him.

"The mere fact you are in front of me, able to talk about it, speaks wonders about how much you changed, don't you dare give me that!"She grumped with annoyance. "The past you – she shook her head – would never have opened up about anything to me. The only person you ever talked to was Rick. And even then, it was merely snippets. A few words here and there."

She agitated a pen at him she had got out while they talked, and he couldn't help but smile, feeling like a teen again. He had always considered her as something akin to an aunt with her behaviour, and the feeling was growing folds, with how she was acting currently. She wrote something on a small paper, and lifted her eyes towards him.

"Also, you said something interesting about me 'sounding just like her', who, may tell, is that?"

He sighed, and she narrowed her eyes, pointing behind her back vaguely in the direction of the counter.

"Is it her?"

He only hesitated for a second before nodding.

"New girlfriend?"

He blinked, taken aback, then somewhat happy she would think that, but also somewhat not. The way she said it, like she was just the following girl after a series of countless conquests… It felt like she was lotting her with his teen girlfriends, and that left him a bad aftertaste in the mouth. He shook his head, making Tina frown.

"Best friend."

She looked despaired by the news, and he couldn't help his bewilderment at her reaction.

She dropped her face in her hands.

"You can't be serious…"She moaned, sounding both amused and on her death bed, and she mumbled something, before looking back at his puzzled face. "You still suck at it."

"At what?"

"Dating."

"I don't suck at dating."He protested.

"Oh, really?"She taunted, pointing again in the vague direction behind her back. "If you only feel friendship for her, I'm a big pink button decorating the head of a very fuchsia toad."

He had to pause and tilt his head, to imagine Tina, with her light flowing hair in the shape of a pink button, throning on top of a toad's crown. The image was really vivid. It brought a barely repressed smile on his face until he stared back in her eyes, noticing her intense expression.

"How bad do you have it?" she asked him.

He squirmed, and his gaze got lost as his mind spiralled, reminded how he had lost himself in her gaze barely a few hours ago, how much he already missed the too brief hug they shared. How anxious he had felt when he realized he had hurt. How…

"Wow…"She said, tone amused, interrupting his circle of endless languishing. "Kuon Hizuri, yearning and lovesick for a girl… If I thought I would see that."

He cleared his throat, holding back a retort. It wasn't any girl. It was Kyoko. And she was the most amazing woman he – … He pushed the thoughts aside, trying to keep his mind focused.

"Tina, I'm not sure I feel comfortable to – … How did you even – ?"

"It was obvious since the moment I spotted the two of you." She stated. "As if you are subjugated by her, each time you look at her. Vastly different from the teen you, if I may say." She added with a smile.

Was he that obvious? He wondered as he rubbed his neck. But how, if he were, was that the main concerned one couldn't even see it?

"That is the sole area Rick couldn't help you," He turned back his attention to her- noticing her fond nostalgic smile – , and frowned, "Girls." She explicit-ed.

"He did help me."Ren protested, feeling the need to defend his friend as he remembered the casting spell of 'good luck' on the Omui rice his friend had taught him. "Even if some of his advices only made sense years later."

Tina snorted at that.

"Maybe," she amended, "but he could never figure out why you kept being dumped when you were so nice to every girl."

Ren grimaced in remembrance.

"And it was so obvious," she added with a smile, "that's the time you would really have needed a woman advise."

"Are you going to keep roasting me or – ?"

She smiled, lifting a finger to point at him.

"You were never the problem, just the lack of feelings you had for them." She finished with a flourish. And now he was reminded of another discussion, with the president this time, telling him the exact same thing.

"That lesson has been given to me at some point. Yes, I was clueless, yes, yes. Drop it."

"Someone took pity in you already?"She enquired mockingly.

Ren groaned.

"… It was hindering my work."

She gave him a pitying stare.

"So boringly expected of you."

He didn't bother countering, there was nothing to say. His lone priority had been working, and nothing else. And it might be different now, but at the time he thought he was doing the best he could.

Silence stretched.

"So?"

"So?"

"What are you going to do?"

He sighed, and grumbled a 'it's complicated' to her.

"How complicated?"

He saw Tina arched an eye in his direction when he stayed silent, unwilling to share his turmoils concerning his 'Kyoko situation', but he was in luck, as he never had to reply. At that moment Kyoko came back with the order, settling it on the table, before sitting back by his left side.

"Sorry it took so long, one of the customers' orders before me went into some troubles." She said, showing him an apologetic look, and he quickly reassured her with a smile. Her scent waffled over him as she sat, soothing him before he could even properly be conscious of it, and his shoulders loosened. Her eyes turned to him, and her stare told him her worry, silently asking if he were okay, and eyeing warily Tina.

"We talked."He told her simply.

"I guess the young lady is aware of things," Tina said, and he knew she was only saying this for Kyoko, as she was already aware Kyoko knew through the conversation.

Kyoko nodded slowly, but didn't say anything else. She looked a bit on edge – he noticed – , and she wouldn't take her eyes off from her.

Tina slowly grinned, and he had to wonder what this staring contest was about. They didn't even know each other.

"I apologized for the last words I had said to him, if that's what worries you." Tina told her calmly, surprising him she would tell her, and he saw Kyoko's tension eased a bit as she gave a curt nod.

"And while I can't help how I felt for a while, I know honestly he was not responsible and shouldn't have said what I said, and told him so."Tina added.

"Good." Kyoko said in a strong voice, making Tina smile wider, and he was baffled to understand she had been so on guard on his behalf. "He wasn't."

"Well, that's – ."He started but Kyoko shot him a look and he cut short, making Tina snort in her hand.

"You weren't."

"Yes, ma'am."

He knew he still had to work on it, and she seemed to always be there to remind him to believe in it.

"Have you known each other for long?" Tina asked after a minute of silence, and Kyoko looked at him for confirmation before replying it had been a while.

"At which occasion?" she asked then, and he saw Kyoko coloured a bit. She always got embarrassed when she thought of when they were kids for some reason. He thought she was still frustrated to not have understood he was only human. But her reaction was the cutest.

"It is a lengthy story."He said, coming to her rescue. He understood she didn't want to share this. He wouldn't either. He could imagine a day he might want to tell his parents, but certainly not anyone else.

In front of them, Tina's eyes narrowed suspiciously but her smile grew, even as she gave him a look. She returned her attention to Kyoko, and he wondered why she was asking her so many questions.

"I know Kuon is still in acting but, if you wouldn't mind me asking, what about you?"

Ren frowned at Tina but Kyoko just blinked in surprise before replying all good naturally.

"Oh. I'm an actress."

"Oh, really? You too?"

"Though, not nearly as good as R – … Kuon."Kyoko added warmly, and he felt his cheeks warm up a bit as her unexpected compliment, while he tried to not get irritated at his incomprehension over the incessant growing of Tina's grin.

"He is that good, huh?"

Kyoko nodded, sliding a smile in his direction that briefly blinded him.

"The best."

Tina glanced at him.

"He must really have improved."

Ren cleared his throat.

"Trying at least."

Kyoko shook her head, and crossed her arms, before letting out delicately, as if she was half speaking for herself.

"He was always good, just not given a chance to express it before."

Ren barely held back his jaw, and his swelling ego. Where was this coming from? Since when was she dropping compliments like that towards him?

But to his even greater shock, Tina nodded.

"You are probably right on that."She admitted and sipped at her coffee, before slowly sliding in front of him the scrap of paper she had had resting in front of her since earlier. A number was scribbled on it. "Here, my new number."

He took it in silence, grateful beyond what words could ever express, and clung it into his hand, before carefully pocketing it in his vest.

"Thank you."

He was unable to say more but he didn't need to. Her chin still a bit cold, she nodded, though a smile grazed anew her face near the end.

"I believe we might be able to patch things up… Maybe one day," she added after a moment, "with time."

He nodded.

With time, indeed. He thought. Instead he said.

"As long as you genuinely wish for it."

"I do."

He could not help but give her a sincere smile.

"I would like that too, then."

Tina stood, then, her cup empty.

"I would have appreciated to talk some more, but I'm expected, so I will have to cut it short," she said as she pushed her chair, and she turned to Kyoko, "it was nice meeting you."

Kyoko smiled at her – her expression looking almost grateful? – and they bid her goodbye as she left.

§§§

END OF CHAPTER.

PS: Well, well, well... We are trudging slowly but surely... I'm pretty sure none of you had seen this scene coming any time soon but it was needed for the future of this fanfic. As always, I'm plotting away and you are tortured, and I guess as my readers, it is the natural order of the universe.

I'm afraid, a storm is brewing and quiet is such an overrated thing... So, settle in and put on your seat belt... Because it is going to ruffle your feathers.

Only a whisper of a wind has begun.

(Sorry this one is a bit shorter)

As always, kisses to you all and hope to be able to post soon. I'm wishing you a good spring and that only good things come to all of you.

Mimagfan.

AUTHOR OUT.