Chapter 48
Love is Pain
"Aachooo!"
The woman's body shook with every sneeze she gave. Her hands, stained with ink and opalescent moonstone dust, clung to the worn comforter that enveloped her.
Laurel stared at the thick layer of dust and mold on the wooden beams that stretched across the vaulted attic ceiling, and she cursed under her breath as another bout of sneezing made her shudder. The humid and stale air, mixed with the vapors from the different cauldrons that burned day and night on the deteriorated wooden table, caused her a terrible congestion.
She stirred again, making the old bed squeak in the silence of the inn, and curled up on her side, watching through the small window how the dark sky began to turn grayish, warning of a cold, rainy dawn.
Her tired eyes wandered around the crowded room, stopping first at that poster:
UNDESIRABLE No. 1
Harry Potter blinked a few times behind his round-framed glasses. Even though the photograph was black and white, Laurel remembered with perfect clarity the emerald glow in her eyes. Sighing lightly, she continued looking at the wall covered in newspaper clippings and flyers that reached the Hog's Head, the headlines, each one more sinister than the last.
MASS ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN.
Pius Thicknesse, new Minister of Magic after Scrimgeour's resignation and disappearance.
Alastor Moody's body finally found!
The Mudbloods and the dangers they pose to a peaceful pureblood society.
Hogwarts teacher leaves her position - Family claims there is no trace of Charity Burbage.
Laurel coughed lightly and cleared her throat, feeling the palpable bitter taste of dread in her mouth. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, putting those terrible tidings of the last few months out of her mind.
"Calm down, take a deep breath.Clear your mind, leave it blank, empty of any thoughts."
There he was again. His deep, silky voice tormented her every moment, seeping through her mind. His dark, tall figure haunted her dreams, sometimes turning them into nightmares.
She rolled in bed once again, trying to stop the constant pain of longing in her chest from spreading through her body. Nonetheless, she couldn't stop the temptation to slip a hand under the hay mattress she was laying on and stare at the sharp dark eyes piercing into her through the page of the newspaper.
NEW HEADMASTER FOR HOGWARTS – SEVERUS SNAPE CONFIRMED
She reached out and traced the contours of Severus' face with trembling fingers, her touch lingering on the faded newsprint as if trying to bridge the distance between them. Memories of their shared past flooded her mind, intertwining with terrible shame and remorse. She hated herself more than she could ever hate him, because despite the trials and tribulations he had made her face, there was something about Snape that had always drawn her in, a magnetic pull that she couldn't quite explain.
She stared at him for so long that her eyelids became heavy and began to close...
"Noel! Wake up, girl!"
Someone was rapping at her door and Laurel jumped out of bed.
"Morning to you too." —She answered back, opening the door.
"Merlin's boots, you look awful!"
Laurel, who had grown used to the Hog's Head's innkeeper's gruff and frankness and even found it amusing, avoided looking into his light blue eyes. He was tall, thin and old, with long gray hair and beard. To anyone who looked closely enough, his brotherly relationship with Albus Dumbledore was evident.
"Thanks for the compliment, Aberforth." —Laurel smiled, accepting the enormous cup of hot tea he brought her. —"It's very early, not even the goats have woken up, do you need me to help you with something?"
"No. Lupin who's downstairs. Should I tell him to come up?"
"Lupin?" —Laurel turned her gaze to her worktable, where her cauldrons and flasks rested. —"There are still two weeks until the full moon. What does he want?
"How can I know? You better ask him."
"Hello, Laurel," —Remus' tremulous voice was heard behind Aberforth.
"It looks like you're not going to wait for an invitation," —said the innkeeper, looking behind him. Then he turned to Laurel. —"Shout if you need help."
Laurel smiled at the old man as she let Lupin in.
"You came a little early, Moony," —the woman said as she dropped into an old chair and motioned for Lupin to sit on the bed. — "I hope you have recovered from last month's trial. I managed to stabilize the toxoid this time, I promise. When it is ready I will send you the vials. Remember that this time you will inject yourself at least twenty-four hours before the full moon…"
Laurel quieted her voice as she realized that Remus was not paying attention to her. She noticed that his eyes seemed to lose the amber shine that characterized him, now they seemed dull and sad. The wrinkles on his face were more marked and his posture was slumped, his shoulders hunched.
"Remus, is something wrong with you? Has lupinaria had any adverse effects?"
"No, actually, the last transformation was very short," —he answered, without looking at her. —"And I maintained my conscience at all times."
"I'm glad," —Laurel whispered thoughtfully. —"So, what's happening?
"Nothing." —Remus shook his head, smiling weakly. —"I just wanted to see you. I missed you."
"But we correspond almost every day" —. Laurel raised an eyebrow, surprised.
"Is not the same. Sometimes, I can't stop thinking about you."
The woman remained silent, looking him up and down. She took a sip of tea to try to pass the lump in her throat that had formed upon hearing such words.
"You mean you miss my smell, Remus. That's what you mean?"
The wizard shifted nervously in his position and made a gesture of wanting to stand up, however, he only limited himself to muttering:
"I want… I want to stay here. Maybe if I stay, I'll make your job easier..."
"Stay?!" —Laurel was so surprised that she had another attack of sneezing. When she recovered, she only managed to say:
"I don't think Tonks thinks this is a good idea. Being pregnant, she will not want to get away from her parents too much. How has she been doing? Still suffering from nausea?"
"I don't… I don't know."
"You don't know?" —Laurel said in disbelief, as she wiped her nose with a tissue.
"I haven't been with her since August. I've been away from home for months."
"Why? Have you been threatened by Death Eaters? Speak now, Remus!"
"Because I have made a terrible mistake! I should never have done that to Dora!" —he suddenly shrieked, covering his face with his hands.
"Done what?" —Laurel leaned towards him with concern, but then she understood.
"Are you talking about the baby?" —She stammered, shaking her head, gobsmacked.
"I'm a werewolf, and the damn disease I carry in my blood will pass to the baby, I'm sure." — Remus was grabbing his hair, distraught —"How can I forgive myself if I risked transmitting my condition to an innocent child, knowing what I was doing? And if, by some miracle, the child is not like me, he will be much better off without a father of whom he will be ashamed all his life!"
"Well, you should have thought about it before, right?!" — Laurel felt a sudden rage that made her stand up. —"Why are you getting married then?! Why are you getting poor Tonks pregnant? It's your child, Remus! Are you abandoning them now? really?"
"You don't understand..." —Remus clenched his fists and raised his head, glaring at Laurel with the fierceness of a werewolf.
"Of course I don't understand! I would never have believed this about you. Abandon your wife... your child! My father abandoned me, you know? When I was seven years old. He was probably an Akardos like me, but I'll never know. And I really don't want to know. Who would want to have a coward as a father?"
Lupin jumped out of bed, ready to retort angrily, but the sudden rustle of a newspaper page falling to the floor caught his attention. He took it, curiously, and saw the sallow face of that despicable murderer.
"Do you sleep with this under your pillow?" —He asked with revulsion.
Laurel, whose face was already contorted with anger, turned a deep crimson.
"That's none of your…" —she started saying, mortified, but Lupin interrupted her.
"It is my fucking business, Laurel. You seem to be obsessed with a high-ranking member of the Death Eaters."
"It is Severus! The man that set up the bases to create your cure!"
"A murderer". —Remus let out some gloating in his voice as he saw that this time it was Laurel who was humiliated. — "I thought you had learned your lesson."
"I've definitely learned to trust nobody". —She said with bitterness. — "Leave, or stay, I don't care…"
Suddenly, Lupin pulled her against him, and buried his nose in her neck, inhaling deeply.
"I need you to care. You are my only hope, the only person who can give me the opportunity to be happy. I... I think I'm in love..."
"No, Remus. You are not." — Laurel turned away from him, the anger in her eyes disappearing completely, being replaced by a taciturn grimace. —"Your true love is out there, waiting for you. Tonks loved you unconditionally from the first moment and you loved her back. I am just a distraction for your senses, a decoy for your inner wolf. I'm sure you know that."
Lupin stared at her for a long moment, the shine in his eyes returning little by little. He slowly sat back down on the bed, folding the newspaper absentmindedly.
"It pains me to say it, but what Severus said about me is true." —Remus looked down at the photograph. —Always hiding behind others like a cub. Too scared to face the world. I'm sorry, Laurel, I tried to hide behind you. I'm a coward.
Laurel also sat in her chair, feeling how that familiar pain in her chest was getting out of control, slowly killing her.
"Go to Tonks, Moony. I'll send you the potion as soon as it's ready."
Remus stood up and approached the woman, holding out the page of the Daily Prophet to her.
"You still love him, don't you?" —When he heard no response from the woman, he said:
"Love is pain, Laurel. Good luck to you."
≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪
The enormous letters glowed magically on one of the walls of the Great Hall:
DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY
STILL RECRUITING
The short, round-faced young man smiled proudly as he saw his work done. However, he didn't have much time to admire it.
"Damn you, Longbottom!"
"Sod off, you wanker!"
He had been caught red-handed in the act of openly defying the regime imposed by the Death Eaters. Amycus Carrow, with his cold gaze and wand at the ready, followed closely in his footsteps, like a predator stalking his prey. Neville desperately searched for a way out, his mind whirling with possible escape routes. He turned a corner and found himself facing a closed door. He cursed under his breath and turned, only to see Amycus approaching, his sinister smile outlined by the light of the torches.
"I got you! There's nowhere to run, Longbottom". —He shouted, in a tone that sent shivers down the young man's spine.
He raised his wand, ready to inflict pain and suffering, but the boy was faster.
—Petrificus Totalus!
Amycus Carrow's sadistic smile froze, and his body made a thud as he fell, petrified to the stone floor. With every ounce of courage he possessed, Neville Longbottom pressed forward, running at full speed trying to reach Gryffindor tower.
However, as he passed through the seventh-floor hallway, a barely perceptible rustling filled the air, and Neville suddenly found himself in front of a door that wasn't there before. Without hesitation, he pushed it open and entered the Room of Requirement, marveling at the magic unfolding before his eyes.
The room transformed before him, taking on the appearance of a cozy retreat with shelves full of books, comfortable sofas scattered around the space, and a huge hammock that swung on its own. Neville was overwhelmed by the sense of security that emanated from the place, a welcome respite from the storm that was raging at Hogwarts.
"Dumbledore's Army will become Snape's worst nightmare," —he whispered to himself as he curled up in the comfortable hammock and let his eyes close in exhaustion.
