"Since when did you take up smoking?" chuckled Joker, as Harley reached for the packet of cigarettes in her jacket and lit one up.

"You're not the only one who's changed in three years," she retorted, offering him a cigarette. "It reminded me of you."

"Not something a good little girl should be doing," he said, taking one.

"I'm not a good little girl," she retorted. "I know you think I am, but you're wrong. And you have to start realizing how wrong you are. You abandoned me because you wanted to protect that good little girl – you thought you were dragging an innocent woman down into a life of crime and sin. But there was no reason to feel guilty about that, because a life of crime and sin is what I wanted. I can't change who I am, so you have to change how you think about me, because it's a lie. You saw me as some pure and perfect angel who you had to sacrifice to save, but that's not who I am. You said you loved me, but you didn't love me enough to give me what I wanted – you still thought you knew what was best for me. That has to stop right now. I'm no angel, so stop treating me like one."

"You want me to treat you badly?" he asked, as she lit the cigarette for him.

"If that will help you remember I'm a bad girl, then yes," she retorted. "A bad girl who belongs to a bad man. And you are a bad man, aren't you? I know you didn't like me calling you that before, but it's the truth, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's the truth," he agreed. "But if you're a bad girl, I guess that means you're perfect for me," he added, kissing her.

"I've seen your recent work in the papers," she said. "Is this just a fun crime spree of yours, or is there a method to your madness?"

"Bit of both," he retorted. "I've got back into Buzz and Chuckie's good graces, which was part of my plan. It's so much easier to kill friends than enemies – they trust you enough to let you get close to them. But I knew I had to wait until one of the Families got taken down to come out of the shadows. When there's a vacuum, chaos arises to fill it, and I'm the king of chaos. But I had to wait until another king fell, and the other pretenders to the throne were scrambling to take it before I could make my move. And I gotta say, Bats sure took his sweet time about it. I thought he would have brought one of 'em down way before this. I had to be patient, and I'm not a patient man."

"He probably had to wait until the cops had built a case against Maroni," replied Harley. "Maybe he even helped them collect the evidence for it – I just learned that the police are illegally working with him."

Joker laughed. "I would call you naïve for not at least suspecting it before. Why wouldn't they work with a guy who's helping them take down criminals?"

"Because the people who uphold the law shouldn't break it," she retorted. "I guess I was naïve in having faith in that. But it was still shocking to hear it from their own lips. One of the cops told me Batman was trying to help them find you, but the implication was that this wasn't the first case they had worked with Batman on. I clearly wasn't supposed to know that – good thing the cop I met was drunk when I went over to GCPD."

"What were you doing there?" asked Joker.

"I was trying to find you, and thought they might have some leads," replied Harley. "Something was drawing me to you, something which I thought was inexplicable, but now seems to be destiny, or fate, or true love. I was determined to find you, to find this dark and disturbed character who might spark some interest in life for me again. I didn't know how right I was," she added, kissing him.

"And so what are you gonna do now that you found me?" he asked with a grin. "I bet you could spend a lotta time analyzing me now that you're a real shrink."

"Frankly, that's not what I'm most interested in doing with you," murmured Harley, kissing him deeply. "But I do know Professor Crane was wrong about you. He's in Arkham now."

Joker burst out laughing. "Serves him right," he retorted. "I guess he got sloppy with his fear drug. Oh, I bet it's eating him up inside to be just the same as the rest of us criminals!" he chuckled, puffing out a cloud of smoke.

"I'd like to help him, but I don't think I can unless he admits he has a problem, which he won't," she replied. "And I'd like to help you too. Not by analyzing you, but I'm sure I can be useful to you in some other way. I'm in a better position to help you now, not just some dumb college kid. I have a good, responsible job as a psychiatrist, and people trust me. Surely that can be helpful to you somehow."

He said nothing, puffing on the cigarette again. "What is it?" she asked. "You're not going to try to push me away again…"

"No, I'm not," he said, kissing her cheek. "Never again. We just need to think carefully about how this is going to work. You said the Bat's after me, and he's usually pretty efficient at his job – he's sharp-eyed if nothing else, and I don't want him catching us together. I don't want you punished or set up to get to me – I want you kept out of this as much as possible."

"Because you're still trying to protect me," she finished. "Can't you understand that's not what I want? I want us to be together, and I don't care about anything else."

"Yes, you do," he replied. "If you want us to be together, we have to remain free. If Batman locks up one or both of us, we'll be housed in separate facilities. And they'd never let you analyze me if they found out about us, so we wouldn't be together. And as much as I'd like to just stay here with you forever, I don't think that's a good life plan. My place is still a dump, for one thing," he said with a smile. "We have to be smart, smarter than the cops and the Bat. If we're going to build a life together, we have to be realistic about it. It's your decision if you want to join me in a life of crime, but if you do, I'd ask you to wait for just a little while until I set up some more gags for the Families, and for the Bat. All good jokes require perfect timing, after all. And I can't give the punchline to this one until the time is right."

"You wouldn't think you were a practical guy to look at you," retorted Harley with a smile.

"Appearances can be deceiving, as you well know," he replied. "You wouldn't think you were a bad girl to look at you," he added, kissing her.

"Mmm, it's something I've realized I can use to my advantage," she agreed. "People will believe anything the innocent-looking blonde girl says. So if I say I don't know anything about the notorious criminal the Joker, people will believe that."

"And do you know anything about the notorious criminal the Joker?" he asked, tilting her chin up.

"I know he commits crimes for fun," she murmured. "I know he's not afraid of anything. And I know he loves his Harley girl."

"Yeah, if you're gonna join me in a life of crime, we'd better work on your name," he said. "Harley Girl doesn't really work as a moniker."

Harley thought for a second. "I got one," she said. "How about Harley Quinn? It's close to my name, but with the clown connection, so it works with yours."

"Harley Quinn," he repeated, and his face broke into a wide smile. "Harley Quinn!" he laughed. "What a gag!"

"I could get a cute jester costume with diamonds on it, like a harlequin pattern," she continued. "Would you like that?"

"I'd like you in anything," he replied. "Or preferably nothing."

She beamed as he kissed her again. "I was wrong to let you go," he whispered. "I'll never let it happen again. I'll never let you leave, and you won't ever leave me, will you, Harley Quinn?"

"Never, puddin'," she whispered. "Never."