Author's Review: Just like there had been an introspective review from me after the reveal of what Chuck/Chase suffered, as portrayed in Chapter 2, we will now address what happened to Sarah as revealed in the preceding chapter. The entire first half of Season 3 focused precisely on Chuck's journey to being a spy, much to the consternation of Sarah, who hated Chuck's changes. For her, Chuck would be that guy, with or without the Intersect, with or without being the spy. Problem is, she wasn't even sure if she consciously realizes and believes that (deep in her heart she does), and they're both crap communicators anyway. So, Chuck changing was viewed by Sarah as it being her fault. One of the recurring themes in the first two seasons with regards to their 'will they/won't they' dynamic is that not only Sarah fears getting fully emotionally and physically committed to Chuck because of the possibility of getting REASSIGNED (the 49-B protocol), but she also seriously doubted she even DESERVED to be the woman to be LOVED by such a good, innocent, kind and selfless man as him. Such very low self-esteem has been a staple of Sarah's character development, both in canon and in fanfiction. Here in this tale, this is further amped in the aftermath of the Red Test. So, her choosing Shaw over Chuck, her telling the piece of wooden shit her real name (was it even her real name or what? They hadn't had the decency to follow up on it!) and instead of Chuck, her choosing to leave with Shaw rather than with Chuck, were all parts of a convoluted defense mechanism she had erected to protect both her from being further hurt by Chuck's changes (and his inevitable dalliance with a Chuck-like Hannah), and also protect Chuck from being with a woman so undeserving as she was (paradoxical I know).
It would not be too presumptuous that she indeed felt something for Shaw (the disgusting 2x4), whether a smidgen of emotional attraction or just pure physical attraction, doesn't matter. For reasons illogical and stupid, to us CHARAH fanatics at least, she LIKED Shaw. Or heck, liked the idea of being with him, at least to some degree. So, the probability of her accepting his proposal would not be the equivalent to zero. Remember, Sarah just lost the love of her life, the one man she could honestly say would and could accept her in entirety, the one she could spend the rest of her life with, through her own fault. By the end of Season 2, Sarah was ready to assume a normal life, to walk away from the spy life. The disastrous break between her and Chuck led her to the arms of Shaw, led her to pursue with Shaw anything that may even resemble what she desperately wanted with Chuck. An engagement, a future of being a wife gives that. As mentioned in her introspection in Chapter 4, Shaw was like her, a spy, so there would really no great disconnect there (that was what she assumed). Her and Shaw would be in a spy relationship, that she was familiar with (her time with Bryce pre-series).
As for their dark, perverted sex life, well, it was very clearly glossed over in the show what spies, specifically what female spies, have to do during seduction missions. More often than not, it was not being specifically ordered, but implied, especially with high-profile marks. So the issue of Sarah having sex on and off the missions can clearly be settled without being delved upon too much. I put the comparison between her and Carina because I view Sarah as one ultimate femme fatale, and it fits well with the persona of the 'Wild Card Enforcer' / 'Ice Queen'.
Her being abused by Shaw and the reason why she didn't even stop it was already explained in the chapter: ever since her separation with Chuck, she subconsciously considered it was her fault all along, and in this way she could in some way pay for her sins via her suffering. The coma and depression is Sarah going on her own version of the five stages of grief, with major emphasis on depression.
This would be Sarah's cross throughout the first arc, just as the tragedy of Cate and their baby's loss, and his pursuit of revenge would be Chuck's cross. As already hinted, Sarah is overjoyed at finding out that Chuck is indeed live, and her overarching goal would be the two of them being together. The problem is she had to come to terms first with what happened to her, and with what happened to Chuck, and vice versa. I know Chuck told her that he'll be her personal baggage handler, but entering in a relationship with such baggage from the each of them would make the relationship implode in itself. They need to heal first, helping each other through it.
Sarah's challenge would be trying to rekindle something, anything, with Chuck all the while still viewing herself as unworthy, undeserving, especially with what happened to her and Shaw. Her initial interactions with Chuck will be tainted with an amalgamation of how she viewed pre-Intersect 2.0 host Chuck (the Chuck that was good, innocent, kind, bloodless), and the version she saw now. That's why there will be a LOT for her to handle, a lot for her to accept.
I decided that I'll be posting the modified timeline earlier, so here it is:
Timeline
March 15, 2010 (Ides of March) – Chuck in his Red Test (the one where the target is Hunter Perry)
March 17, 2010 – Chuck leaves for Rome in his new assignment
September 5, 2010 – Shaw proposes to Sarah and she accepts
September 18, 2010 – Chuck's birthday; Chuck "dies" during an operation in Poland
September 28, 2010 – Chuck was "laid to rest" by his sister and brother-in-law, the Woodcombs
October 16, 2010 – Shaw kidnaps Sarah and brings her to Paris; Sarah finally learns from Shaw that Chuck was "dead"
October 19, 2010 – Shaw attempts to kill Sarah but is killed by Casey
October 31, 2010 – Sarah mostly heals from her physical injuries, but fell into a self-induced coma
April 2, 2011 – Sarah awakens from coma, but then goes into depression
September 27, 2011 – Cate dies on a mission, held by Chuck/Chase, who does not know (at the time) that she was pregnant
November 14, 2011 – Ellie and Devon visits Sarah; Sarah then begins her therapy
September 2011 to July 2012 – Chuck pursues revenge as the Black Orchid, taking down the Ring by his lonesome
January 17, 2012 – Sarah is offered the position of Assistant Deputy Director of the NCS by CIA Director Evenson
March 20, 2012 – Sarah assumes her new position
July 21, 2012 – Chuck kills the last known top lieutenant of the Ring in Verona, Italy; DNI director Major-General Dianne Beckman orders him home
July 23, 2012 – Chuck meets Sarah and Casey for the first time in 2 years, at the office of General Beckman
