Part 2
The first Ron knew he was going on holiday was when he found suitcases packed and waiting in the hall. "This is our way of telling you we're going on holiday" his parents told him. They had won the holiday in a competition, a river cruise down the amazon. The jungle was filled with all manner of creatures most of which Ron had a phobia of, monkeys, bugs, snakes, spiders and those he didn't start his vacation with a terror of were soon added to the list, such as crocodiles, piranha and Jaguar.
As ever his sole form of comfort was to call Kim on the kimmunicator. At that moment she was flying back from Tower of London.
"No the whole thing was a false alarm" Kim told Ron, maybe talking about her mission would take his mind off all his anxieties "the crown jewels hadn't been stolen, who would have thought you could have lost a jewel encrusted gold crown down the back of a sofa" O'dear he was hyperventilating "Ron find a paper bag to breathe into. Just ignore the monkeys in the trees and the bugs landing on you. No Ron I'm sure the Jaguar on the bank and the crocodiles in the water aren't following the boat"
"Sorry about that" Kim said turning to the pilot "thanks for the ride home Mr. Biggins"
"No problem Kim" said Mr Biggins the pilot "after you helped me with my marriage"
"No big, Mr Biggins" Kim replied "everyone knows a threesome only ends in acrimony"
(Meanwhile at the golden shrine of the amazon monkey king)
It was lucky, Monkeyfist thought, that he had taken this book off the monkey ninja. It seemed to completely distract them when there was so much preparation before the third moon. Really this was the lowest form of trash he considered turning the page and starting to read the next one. Pirate Captain Jack has the stamina of a ox, he's at it again. Complete rubbish Monkeyfist thought finishing that page and turning to start on the next. Now Sarah was telling Captain Jack there was seaman in her dinghy.
(On board a postal flight over the amazon rain forest)
Ann was jolted awake when her crate was moved in the plane
"Ugh whats going on?" She said
A postal worker was shouting in through one of the air holes
"Remember your a signed for delivery" he shouted above the noise of the engines "if there's no answer at the door ask to be left at the customers safe location"
"Hang on we're still flying" Ann said alarmed
Then the crate was thrown out the open door of the plane. Parachutes opened and the crate slowly drifted down through the tree canopy landing with a thump on the jungle floor.
Soon bare legs and feet came running and the lid was levered off. Ann and Rufus found themselves face to face with a circle of what you would describe as 'natives' in grass skirts, their bodies and faces painted in war paint and holding spears or bows and arrows pointed at Ann and Rufus.
I wonder if they speak some pigeon english, Ann thought, I try using simple words
"Me Doctor, fell from sky, I come in peace" Ann said miming to the words
"Oh she's good" said one of the natives.
"Yeah I feel she's really getting into the spirit of it" added another
"You speak English? Your Americans?" Ann asked surprised
"Yeah we're on a job swop, the tribe is in America working as taxi drivers, chef's or tech entrepreneurs and we live here, getting back to nature and recovering from being burnt out taxi drivers, chef's and tech entrepreneurs"
"I guess this is the place to get back to nature" Ann said looking round at the dense virgin rain forest.
"See the thing is Doctor Ann Possible (he had read her name off her white coat) we have to play the part of the long lost tribe of the amazon basin"
"Yeah we're always are being recorded by film crews" another added "and studied by Anthropologists"
"So we will have to sacrifice you to our Jaguar God"
"You are joking?" Ann said as she hands were tied behind her back and she was dragged off into the jungle "really guys your joking?"
Moving through jungle is not easy at the best of times, but with her hands tied behind her back and in a tightish skirt it was much harder. By the time they reached the tribes village Ann was sweaty, dirty and her clothes torn.
She was tied to a post. Near-by a Jaguar sat locked in a wooden cage.
A tribesman bought her a Mcjungle burger.
"You have McDonald's here?" Ann said surprised
"Well we are American" the tribesman shrugged
"Please put one in my pocket for Rufus" Ann asked
Once she was left alone Ann asked "can you bite through these ropes Rufus?"
Soon Ann was free and she asked Rufus to bite through the hem of her skirt, she tore the side up to her hip. Now she could move freely. Ann picked up a spear. She had had enough of being put in crates, dragged through jungles and tied to posts. She was going to show them what a possible could do.
"Ut ho" said Rufus as she strode into the middle of the village. Nothing and no one was going too stop Ann giving them a piece of her mind.
Very shortly after she came sprinting back chased by the entire tribe, men, women and children. All waving spears, war clubs or shooting arrows at her. Panting Ann stopped by the Jaguar cage. This will stop them she thought opening the cage, lets see how they deal with a hungry Jaguar.
Very quickly she was running faster than she thought possible chased by a whole tribe and a Jaguar.
