Author's notes; Look, I try to avoid doing these as often as possible because it messes with the flow of the story but I wanted to say thank you all. I know I don't respond to reviews, but that is largely out of a desire to keep spoilers away and honestly not having much to say myself. If you wanna chat though, you can find me on Twitch at ArmchairGeneral. I also have a discord linked there so come hang out. Enjoy the chuuni chapter everyone.

-Ko-No-Su-Ba!

Megumin had come to Axel with the intent of finding a party to join and go on adventures with to improve and show off the glory of explosion magic. It took her days to get there, but nobody in the Crimson Demon village had been willing to teleport her, telling her that her inability to use any magic but explosions would be a hindrance that even her spirit and enthusiasm couldn't compensate for. It was a welcome hardship though, making her inevitable, triumphant quests all the more tantalizing. It also allowed her to hear an odd rumor on her way.

As she shuffled her weary way closer to Axel, she heard more and more rumors of one particular topic causing concern - "The Adventurer Yunyun." While she was more than slightly offended that her rival had taken advantage of her inability to teleport to get a head start in their rivalry to become great adventurers, she did have to respect her taking the initiative in their contests for once.

If her ego and teenage delusions of drama and grandeur hadn't fogged her ears, she might have realized they had been talking about "The Adventurer's Union" but with her eagerness to catch up with her frie- Uh, bitter rival, she had heard what she wished to and used it to lend a sense of urgency to her steps. Besides, the idea of a union was so novel she'd have never even thought of it.

In her excitement, Megumin's feet barely stopped for a moment and found herself before the guildhall long after dark. Leaning on her knees and panting, a victim of her weak stamina, she reflected for just a moment that she might have to wait until morning anyway, before noticing the bright lights and loud ruckus coming from the hall. Just as she had expected; she could only appreciate the fact that her fellow adventurers had a spirit worthy of a Crimson Demon.

Taking but a moment to make sure her attire and eye patch are all properly in place, she confidently stepped forward, kicking in the front door of the hall, striking a pose with her staff planted on the ground. "I have come to challenge the adventurer Yunyun!"

Her reception was silence, the entire guild looking at her, obviously awed by her dramatic entrance. Good job, Megumin! After a minute though, a young man dressed in the guild's uniform stood up with a light blush on his face. "Okay, who's lost kid is this?"

"Bwah-? KID?! I am no child, I am an Archmage of the Crimson Demons!" Megumin began yelling, her poise and cool atmosphere ruined with that one, armor-piercing question. She wasn't short! Or under-developed, dammit! She was just over-due for her growth spurt!

Kazuma, because of course that was who had spoken up nodded, his inebriated state making his usually keenly-honed sense of self-preservation work slower than normal. "Right, right, sorry. Okay, who's sassy lost child is this chuuni?" The question was easily met with laughter from the drunkards around him, even if none of them save Aqua knew what a chuuni is. They were three sheets to the wind, they weren't going to let a little translation problem get in the way of amusement.

"Why you- How dare you?! I'll teach you to respect the power of the Crimson Demon Clan's master of arcane destruction!" Twirling her staff as dramatically as possible before pointing at him (ignoring the embarrassed burning sensation on her cheeks). She began the terrible incantation of the most powerful destructive magic the world had ever seen, chanting as magical circles and formulae seared themselves into reality around her, "Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now- GEYAWNK-!" Her chant terminated in a sound not unlike a strangled goose, as a slightly stumbling Kazuma who, despite being several drinks past what someone twice his weight and a few years his senior should have been, still bore a determined look as he stood over her, swaying slightly, his fist out as she retched and coughed.

"Feldart's Guide To Not Getting Your Sprout Ass Killed, rule number 14: Never let the mage finish casting!" he drunkenly recited, his eyes having taken on a thousand yard stare and his body reacting on its own to hurdle two entire tables, into the loli caster's personal space.

Feldart nodded sagely, folding his arms, while close to every eye in the guildhall turned upon him with a mixture of suspicion, horror and understanding. Plenty had heard those words, but only Kazuma had been bone-headed enough to keep coming back sufficient times to have them beaten into his muscle memory. Luna and Aqua meanwhile, were slightly more worried about the small girl now turning an unfetching shade of bruise.

"Kazuma, what the hell? You just punched a little girl in the throat!" Aqua berated him as she started to heal the damage he had inflicted upon Megumin, allowing her to catch her breath.

Luna could only stare in stunned agreement, a look of shock and disapproval on her face. "Couldn't you have done something a little less violent to get her to stop? She's just a little girl?"

That was the final straw for the recovering Megumin, she tried to roar in fury at the two for the insult they were layering upon her, but with the little breath she'd managed to recover, it came out more as an indignant squeak. "I am not a little girl! I am a member of the Crimson Demon Clan, I attained the title of Archmage already! I'm not a child-!" Her words petered off into wheezing as she sniffled, panting for breath and rubbing her eyes. This really, really wasn't going how she'd imagined…

Aqua only patted her on the head, causing Megumin's cheeks to puff out in indignation (which really didn't help her argument much). "Now, now, no need for that. It doesn't matter how young you are or how old you are, you're still small and adorable."

"Hmph… I'm not adorable" she tried to deflect, her blush giving away her embarrassment. "Urgh… Trust my nefarious rival to have set this kind of depraved trap for me..! She's probably watching right now and laughing! Damn you, Yunyun! Where are you, come out and face me!"

"Wait, Yunyun? Who is Yunyun, exactly?" Luna blinked. She knew most everyone in the guild by name, but that one was unfamiliar.

"What do you mean? I heard of nothing but the adventurer Yunyun on the way here and how she's been causing all kinds of trouble in Axel, making the monsters breed out of control and bringing the Adventurer's Guilt to ruin! Wait… Are you trying to tell me she's already heard of my inexorable pursuit and fled before me?" Megumin wasn't sure if she was more angry or confused at their reaction.

"Adventurer Yunyun… Yun-yun… Wait… Adventurer's UNION, you deaf chuuni, not Yunyun!" Kazuma corrected, facepalming as he slowly sobered up, piecing together where the confusion had come from. "What kind of a name is Yunyun anyway?"

Megumin blinked in confusion, her face blank and her head tilted her head as she looked back at the man who had punched her with the ferocity of an enraged dragon. "What the heck is an adventurer's union?" she asked bluntly.

Kazuma sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It doesn't matter much anymore, but the short version is we were all working together to stand up against the previous guild master. Now, since you're here and whoever you were trying to pick a fight with, isn't, are you drinking or leaving?"

With that final question, the celebration kicked back off, the near disaster forgotten as Megumin was delighted to find that for once, no-one seemed sober enough to care that she was underage.

-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-

The next morning was slow to start. As most of the guild was still wasted from the night before, with a handful of exceptions. Routine can do a lot though, leading to Kazuma being up bright and early for his shift on the counter, silently hating whoever had invented sunlight and noise. Thankfully, it was largely dead until afternoon, with the majority of the adventurers waiting until they'd slept off their hangovers before looking to get back to work. A few tried to re-start the party, but they were quickly shut down by their comrades, eager to get some coins back into their worryingly-empty purses. Most of it was fairly routine, the adventurers having been briefed on expectations for their parties and the like during their 'down time.' That was until their newest member came up.

Megumin approached the counter, her guild card and staff in hand. "Since I'm here now, I'd like to go on a quest. Somebody told me you'd be able to help me find a party?" Towards the end, she seemingly withdrew on herself, less sure of what she was saying.

"Alright, let me see your card and all that." Kazuma took a look through, not taking long at all before his eye twitched. "Yeah, nope! No party for you until you learn some more spells. I am not sending a tactical nuke out into the field except in extreme circumstances!"

Megumin looked ready to 'explode' in indignation at his flat out refusal, only being brought up short long enough to ask, "What the heck is a nuke?"

"Don't worry about it," Kazuma coughed, something warning him not to let the girl who literally had a spell named 'Explosion' on her card, know about the biggest boom ever made. "The point is, unless you learn some support magic, or at the very least some alternative attack spells, times you're actually more useful than a liability are going to be rare. Following our recent reformation, the guild assists and takes responsibility for a portion of collateral damage dealt during a quest. Sending you out is basically handing whoever's hired us a blank cheque to bankrupt us." Kazuma sighed, seeing Megumin's devastated expression and feeling a little bad about his flat refusal of her request but the girl needed to be more realistic with her expectations. "What are you even hoping to accomplish like that? As it is you could blow up most anything already but run out of mana after one shot."

"I am the master of explosions! I will show the world that there is no magic greater than the greatness of Explosion. I swore this upon my life, my magic and my name as a Crimson Demon." Kazuma could only stare at her 'dark and dramatic' pose in unamusement, shaking his head. She reminded him just a little too much of a part of his own past that was best left forgotten.

"Look, I have no problem with you having an aspiration, but you have to be practical about this. You can specialize all you want, it's not like I can stop you, but you won't be going out in the field with your stats as scuffed as they are now." 'Scuffed?!' Megumin swelled up with indignation, ready to give her newly-designated second nemesis a piece of her mind, when he stopped her with a raised hand. "Look, remember last night?" he pointed out, as if she could forget the demonic punch that had laid her low. "I am a Merchant. If I could do that, do you really think it would be safe to let you go out in the field like that, party or not?" He then decided to appeal to her apparent love of the dramatic, reaching deep into the repressed and dark recesses of his memory and channeling his hellish past in middle school. "The path to true power is one strewn with struggle and trials - a road cut through pitch blackness with the burning heat of your will! If you lack the resolve to accept your weakness and that you must broaden your horizons, only death and an inglorious end awaits you there. By expanding your knowledge of dark and forbidden arts, you will be able to enhance and further improve the greatness of your black magic!" Ah, it all came flooding back… As if he had never left those dark days, he wrapped himself in the grandeur of the demon-cursed sorcerer he had once been, striking a pose of triumph that any Crimson Demon would be proud of.

Megumin's rage was lost, her expression now one of reverence and awe. Truly, she had misjudged him at first! Here was a kindred spirit, a man that understood the traditions and ways of the Crimson Demons! Clutching her sealed, cursed eye, she stumbled under the weight of his words. "I-I see..! Could it be..? Was I mistaken this whole time to limit myself to only the greatest of magic?" she responded, swept up in this forbidden sage's teachings, reeling and unsure herself. Was there truly a magic beyond even the boundless might of Explosion?

"Ah, but think of it for a moment. Not only will you be able to integrate knowledge from your other learned skills, you'd also be able to enhance and speed up your ascent to yet greater levels of power increasing your potential for greatness all the more!" Kazuma was far too into it now, having forgotten they were in public with an audience. Aqua had even come up during their loud exchange, holding back laughter at just how much of a nerd he was being.

Hiding her face behind her hat, Megumin stared down at the floor, trying to find a way to refute his argument. The fact of the matter was that even if she didn't capitulate, she wouldn't get to use her explosions at all! Doomed to suffer a life without the sublime release of destruction? No-! It could not even be considered!"I… I must consider this further before making a decision… If I were to accept your tu- Your advice, as one master to another… What skills would make it easiest for me to get quests or join a party?"

Kazuma took a moment to think, looking over her options while he did and mentally stomping his middle school days back into the box where they belonged. "Well, a few utility spells would help a lot… How about that as a compromise? Instead of learning offensive magics, other than explosion, you focus on learning utility spells to assist your party? That way you don't detract from the greatness of your explosions while still assisting them when it isn't the answer?"

"Are you implying that explosions AREN'T the answer to everything?" She asked, her anger rising as her visible eye began to glow.

"Well, yeah? I mean, it isn't great for splinting a broken leg; getting a door unlocked in a dungeon without caving the whole thing in on your head; fighting at all in a dungeon or in a crowd. Sometimes, you need precision more than sheer power… Or at least, overwhelming power applied precisely."

Megumin squinted, chewing the suggestion over in her genius mind. As much as she didn't like it, she didn't really have a great rebuttal to that, instead deciding to just move on for now.

Kazuma just shook his head, thankful that it wasn't quite as weird as the issue he'd had earlier with Darkness. THAT girl had come in asking for some deranged missions. She'd seemed honestly disappointed when he'd point blank told her that he wasn't going to send her on quests that specifically had a chance of her getting caught! That was literally the opposite of everything they'd just fought to accomplish! Honestly, he was starting to suspect that she hadn't been looking at him as the juicy steak and had more been seeing herself that way… And him as the ravenous wolf. That thought really didn't need further consideration.

Once the little girl had left, Aqua came around from behind him, hopping up onto the counter and swinging her legs playfully. "Hey, hey, Kazuma, is she still mad about you punching her?" she asked, a playful smirk on her face as she waited to tease him for being such a chuuni.

"Nah, she was more annoyed at the fact I won't give her a quest. Stupid loli couldn't do anything but make giant explosions. What am I gonna do with that, have her clear mountain ranges?" he asked, thumbing through different jobs before stopping. "Hmm, hold on… I take that back. We do have one thing she could be useful for! Because of the strike we have way too many giant toads running around. If I send her out to support a couple of full teams, she can thin the numbers out for them instead of needing to spend the next few years, or deploy most of the guild for it. Lord Ignis sent Luna a letter basically saying 'you made the mess, you clear it up,' without even a mention of payment, so the sooner it's off our plate, the better. I'll run the idea by Feldart later, she shouldn't be too hard to find with how she dresses."

"Oh? Sure you don't wanna just go and have some more chuuni fun with her? I saw you getting into it~" she teased, gently poking a finger into his cheek with a malicious grin, causing Kazuma to practically combust in embarrassment.

"H-hey, it's common to have that kind of phase in middle school! Not all of us have been around for millenia to get it all out of our system, ancient goddess" he taunted, smirking at her.

"Are you calling me old?! I'll have you know I am at the prime of my immortal life!" she exclaimed, punching his shoulder with a mock-scowl.

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that. Have any major wounded come back yet?" he asked, reaching for the 'Be Right Back' sign, intending to grab lunch while there was a lull.

"Nah, nobody has come back from a major mission yet so it's a bit too early. Luna expects it to be fairly slow still for a week or so" she explained, following behind, hands behind her head as she thought back to what the new guild leader said.

"Good. Better than having to worry about losing people. Oh, by the way Aqua, while you're here, mind telling me why I gained like, twenty levels last night by the way? I thought I leveled up by buying and selling goods?" he asked as they got their meals.

"Well, that's the main way to level up, but technically making deals in general will net you experience. I guess the charter counted it as you making deals for every adventurer and guild worker since you wrote it up maybe?" she guessed, unsure of why else his level would have shot up. The fact that Merchant doesn't have a 'kill record' for its leveling mechanics certainly didn't help either.

"You're kidding me! Sweet!. I guess I need to figure out where to put all these skill points and stuff then." He started doing just that while eating his meal, tasting the results of the revised food budget that had been a part of the negotiations and Luna's new reforms. Humming along, he added a few skill points more or less aimlessly, trying to find anything that would make his day to day easier. It wouldn't matter much overall, since as long as he met the minimum requirements for a new class, he could just respec after taking it. In the end, he made Appraise passive so he wouldn't need to activate it manually, picked up a few baseline crafting skills (mostly for repairs and everyday objects), and used almost half the points for a 'Pocket Bank.' It wasn't the most impressive of abilities, but it effectively gave him an inventory usable exclusively for currency, or any items that would fit in a safety deposit box. Testing it out, he's happy to see the fork in his hand was easily able to fit inside of it. The individual item sizes were what counted, with the total area being much grander. Recalling the fork, he finished eating, already scheming ways to abuse his new skill.