The next day, Kazuma let Aqua sleep in, a decision Luna readily agreed to without a word needing to be said. That left an exhausted Kazuma to single-handedly deal with an overly energetic Megumin bouncing up and down before the counter. "Hey, hey, Kazuma!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma" he sleepily responded, letting out a large yawn. The sight of the excited mage would have been more appealing if she'd had anything to 'liven up' her jumping… God, it'd been a while.
"Kazuma, did you see how many toads we slew yesterday? I blew up a full seventy myself and the others finished another thirty after my Explosion attracted more! I even leveled up enough to pick up teleport, just like you told me to." The small Archmage was practically brimming with excitement, clearly happy with how she'd done (so much so that she'd totally forgotten her usual act). The fact that she'd even gotten to have a whole audience to bask in the greatness of her destructive might made all the better. That and the fact she now had an 'explosion buddy' in Kazuma, since she kept her end of the bargain.
"Alright, I get it, good job. I take it you want me to go with you to watch you cast Explosion?" He yawned again, covering his mouth just in time. "Ugh, sorry, I had a late night with Aqua." Seeing the mildly scandalized look on her face, he reached over the counter and flicked her forehead. "She was freaked about stuff, dummy. She's fine now, but it basically took until the sun was up. I'll go with you after my shift, alright? It'll probably be three of us though. If Aqua wants to come, I'm not about to tell her no."
Megumin pouted slightly. She'd been hoping to get some alone time with her newest rival/arch-nemesis/friend. Still, so long as that bossy-looking arch priestess also got to witness the glory of Explosion, it was still evened out to a good day. She threw up an approving thumbs-up and nodded her assent.
With the plan made, Kazuma wasted no time paging through his stack of missions, seeing if something relevant might be available. The old castle was kind of out of the way and he was too tired to want to walk that far today. "Wanna blow up a… Here, there are a few derelict buildings near a destroyed part of the wall around Axel. If you think you can control your spell, we can have you complete a mission and get your Explosion out of the way at the same time." Might as well kill two birds with one crate of TNT, grim as that image was.
Megumin opened her mouth to tear into him, offended at the very idea of controlling an Explosion! Why, it spat in the very face of what it existed for! Then, it struck her: This was his way of testing her. Clearly, he was trying to expand upon the ideas he'd imparted upon her at first, when he had explained the rare need for precisely-applied examples of pure destructive power. How generous of him to give her a chance to show off how she could properly reign in her might! Grinning like a cheshire cat, she nodded with a light chuckle, appreciative of his shrewdness. "Perfect! We shall go just before dinner then, that we might feast afterwards and replenish our strength. You'll need to take a seat after seeing my magnum opus, anyway."
Kazuma only nodded, wishing,not for the first time, that this world had energy drinks. He would kill for a corner store at this point.
Aqua, thankfully, came along soon enough to give him the shot of energy he needed. Her depression from the previous night seemingly gone without a trace as she tackled his back, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Kazuma! Thanks for last night… I really needed that," she exclaimed, her voice lowering to a comforted murmur, before planting a chaste kiss on his cheek, much to both of their embarrassment.
Aqua's flying leap had her feet dangling just a little off the ground, so Kazuma crouched just a little, glad that she was light enough to not just choke him out by dangling there."Hey, somebody had to do it," he pointed out bashfully. "What kind of a guy would just leave a pretty girl alone after she started wailing like that?" He turned to face her and the two found themselves looking into one another's eyes for a moment. Nothing had really 'changed' between them, but somehow, now they'd both seen one another at their most vulnerable - one facing death and the other having just died, it felt different. Neither could hold the other's gaze for long and they quickly looked away, blushing.
Megumin, of course, had watched the whole thing with a displeased expression. How dare her arch-nemesis be distracted with her right there? "Ahem! Ah, the so-called Healing Arch Priestess, Aqua! Fufufufu… Kazuma just informed me you might be joining us later, to witness the glorious puissance* of my Explosion?" She was proud of that one. She'd even gone to the trouble of breaking out the dictionary to look up 'puissance'.
"Huh? Explosion?" Aqua asked, looking around Kazuma to see who was speaking, her catching the top of the diminutive mage's hat, before following it down and flicking back to him in confusion.
Letting out a resigned sigh, he nodded and explained for Aqua's sake. "Yeah, I got roped into going with her when she doesn't have a mission to watch her cast Explosion. I don't really get it, but it felt like a decent trade off for having a generalized delete-button for the guild."
Aqua nodded slowly, understanding dawning on her face before tapping her lips in thought. "Hey! I know, why don't I grab us some food and we can make it a picnic? She can use her spell and we can eat wherever she clears out."
Megumin's eyes lit up, intrigued by this idea. The thought of reveling further in the destruction she'd wrought in such a way had never occurred to her and daintily dining amid the rubble did have a certain ironic appeal that she couldn't deny. "That sounds super fun! Can I help pack the food?" Megumin asked, a bounce returning to her feet as she got excited.
"Sure! I need to go buy us a few essentials for a picnic anyway. We'll be back in a few, Kazuma, okay?" Aqua added, giving the boy a quick one armed hug before dashing off, grabbing Megumin's hand as she went.
-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-
Leaving a quietly despairing Kazuma to toil away, Aqua and Megumin went on a small shopping spree to prepare lunch. Since she was still paying back the destruction she'd caused that town, Aqua was a little light on spending money, but by cutting back on drinking and hoarding the tips she occasionally received from adventurers greatful to get to keep both arms, she had enough for a small splurge. After picking up a blanket, basket, and necessary edibles, Aqua dragged Megumin to a clothing shop she'd been wanting to visit for a while now. While her godly clothing was, of course, far superior to anything available, every now and then a girl felt the need for something different! Having a difference between working clothes and relaxing clothes would also be nice to not feel like she was always on the clock.
With fall rapidly coming upon Axel, the temperature had been threatening to drop like a stone any day and Aqua was starting to feel it with how exposed her clothing left her. With the impending winter in mind, she started with a set of warm slacks that just a month ago she'd have never even deigned to let touch her skin. As it was, she snatched them up upon seeing them on sale because of the odd coloring - a dark, slightly blotchy shade of pink. The dying had turned out poorly, but to her it just reminded her of a muted form of tie-dye. Seeing a long, coarse-knit sweater, she realized she'd found her perfect work clothes. She would just need to see about dying the white sweater to better match the pants and possibly finding a little nurse's cap to keep her hair up.
Fashion sense, it seemed, was not one of the many domains in her divine purview.
Beyond that, she also grabbed a pea-green sweater for Kazuma and another set of pants and shirts for common everyday wear. Just because she could wear the same set of self cleaning, self repairing clothes all the time didn't mean she didn't want to occasionally mix it up. Especially with how the eyes of some of the seedier adventurers tended to roam.
The longer she was forced to endure the unfamiliar territory of a 'girls day out', the more Megumin had started to become more uncomfortable. It wasn't just the stress of standing in public and being normal either, something was gnawing at her and she wasn't sure how to broach the subject. In the end, she gave up trying to phrase it 'appropriately' and just asked. "Hey, Aqua… is Kazuma seeing anyone?" she mumbled, the diminutive mage feigning indifference and unable to meet the goddess's eyes.
Aqua's back stiffened abruptly at the question, her stomach knotting uncomfortably. She was supposedly Kazuma's girlfriend - a useful facade to keep their costs down. That said however, they were sleeping in the same bed and were unavoidably closer every day. Then there was the simple fact that without realizing it, she'd been thinking of it as an act less and less with every passing day. Aqua couldn't deny it: she didn't want it to be a cover, she wanted it to be real. With Kazuma's new confidence in his work and how busy he was though, she didn't even know where to start trying to fix the kind of impression she'd first made on him! She could only thank her lucky stars that she could talk to Eris again. Maybe she would have some ideas, next time they got to catch up. With how popular she was, her friend had to have more experience in that field than she did, no matter how much Aqua might pretend she needed to fend off suitors with a stick.
For now though, she had to pseudo-lie to her new friend. After all, she needed to keep up appearances, right? The fact that saying it brought a newlywed's blush to her cheeks was just a side benefit! "Uhm, actually, we're a couple, Megumin. We even share a room at the guild."
Megumin's shyness was quickly replaced with defeat and resignation. She might be inexperienced in such matters, but for a moment, her childish heart had thought she might have met a worthy match in her nemesis too. For all that they had got off to a rocky start, there was still something 'intriguing' about that man. "Oh," she sighed, her face falling somewhat. "Well, you're both quite lucky to have each other."
"Thanks, Megumin," Aqua smiled, patting the smaller girl on her head sympathetically. Even a love-dunce like her could tell when a heart had just been crushed. "I'm sorry. But hey, it's not like I'm gonna be the type to tell you that you can't ever speak to him or something!"
-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-
By the time they made their way back, Kazuma was just getting ready to end his time on the desk for the day. "Sir, look at this bounty notice. Does it say six vials of slime essence? Does it say five? Maybe eight? No, it says seven and not a drop less! 'Almost' only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades! Now shoo!" He cast a despairing look to the heavens as the malingering adventurer slunk away, wondering what in Eris' name a hand grenade was and muttering about stingy guild clerks under his breath. Kazuma's eyes landed on the girls and he managed a relieved smile. "Perfect timing you two. Everything go well? Oh, Megumin, you forgot to get your pay for the extermination mission by the way." He reached under the counter and tossed over a hefty bag of coins to the mage, almost flooring her. "Were you so excited over your levels you forgot?" he teased, not aware of just how close he was to the truth.
Megumin cleared her throat, ignoring the question before motioning towards Aqua. "We have acquired all we need for tonight's festivities. I beckon you to hurry and change into attire more appropriate for such an outing!"
"...'Get ready quickly so we can go.' How hard is that to say?" he asked rhetorically, starting to understand this girl didn't have an off switch to speak of.
Kazuma took a few more minutes to wrap up, giving Aqua enough time to throw on her new clothes while packing away the rest of her new belongings. When she returned, his jaw almost hit the floor, seeing her in something other than her pajamas or usual clothing. She'd opted with a slightly low-cut teal sweater and a dark blue knee-length skirt over dark brown tights. The clothes were one thing, but what really made a shocking difference was hermoving her usual hair accessory so it wasn't tied above her head in a loop, instead cascading down around her shoulder in a simple ponytail. The changes weren't exactly much, but they seemed to give her a more mature air. His mouth dried out, unaware she could look quite so different. It took a few moments, but he eventually cleared his throat while trying to hide his blush. "I, um, I'll go get changed then."
Making a fast escape, he didn't notice Megumin shoot Aqua a thumbs up for his reaction, leading to the goddess heating up as well. When he arrived in their room, Kazuma was surprised to find clothes laid out for him on the bed. They weren't anything fancy, just a simple tan tunic and rusty brown pants, but they were the first new clothes that were actually his since he had arrived. There was a pair of nice, new boots down at the foot of the bed too, which was honestly for the best, his sneakers nearing the end of their lives. He'd just have to push aside the mild concern of how Aqua had managed to find them in his exact size. Throwing it all on, he ran back downstairs for the three of them to head out, Aqua's changed appearance enough to charge him full of giddy energy.
Aqua's face lit up when he rejoined them, clearly happy at how the clothes fit him. She had a pretty good estimate of his measurements after spending so much time wrapped around him at night, but it was good to see confirmation her guesswork wasn't far off. Deciding to 'play' the part of devoted girlfriend, she handed him the picnic basket and looped her arm with one of his, holding the blanket in the other. "Ready to go, Kazzy?" she asked, testing the waters and the feel of the nickname out. It felt okay, but not quite right. She'd have to work on it more.
"Kazzy?" he asked, a smug smirk on his face as he had an idea of what she was doing. They were meant to be a couple after all, so nicknames were to be expected. The only issue was that he didn't have a ready nickname to respond with, leaving him looking like a slightly-lost tomato. He considered 'dolphin' for a moment, before mentally retching at how sickeningly sweet that sounded. While he was mostly right about her intentions, Kazuma blithely missed the greater message directed to any watching girls: Aqua was making a public display of staking her claim on him, Megumin's inquiry having rattled her more than she'd like to admit.
"Mhm!" she beamed, hugging his arm a bit tighter. Megumin had her 'mission' (See excuse to KABOOM!) in hand, proudly leading their way across town, while Aqua basked in the moment. In all likelihood, they'd spend only an hour enjoying their picnic before it got dark, but it would still be fun. She didn't mind though, because she was getting to spend the time with her Kazuma, and her newest friend-to-be. That's right, her Kazuma! She was a goddess, dammit, she was allowed to be a little selfish from time to time!
Aqua had honestly forgotten what it felt like to have real friends. As a goddess, she usually had nobody to talk to, save Eris or some poor soul that had just died and Eris, until recently, had only led to fits of jealous rage and resentment. Humans that you only got to sit with for a few minutes meanwhile, weren't exactly the best of company either. Kazuma had started off as just another name in the book of life she'd read through, no more interesting than watching an ant crawling over a stone - a momentary amusement, but nothing more in an eternal lifetime. But now thanks to his selfish, thoughtless act of pure (and slightly justified) spite, she had been pulled down to their level and was starting to remember humans were more than words on a page. They were people, with greater depth and breadth to them than even the most miraculous of books could ever show her. Even if the entirety of his depth so far was working hard and being her friend while being oblivious to the flashing neon-signs she was giving him. At this rate she might have to resort to flirting using smoke-signals.
The dilapidated slum was every bit as devoid of life as the mission had made it out to be, even the most stubborn of squatters and intractable of rodents having packed their bags and left for greener pastures. An entire expanse of the wall was crumbling, the mortar rotting out from between the stones and clearly long overdue for repairs, while the five closest buildings to the section had been partly destroyed by debris and neglect. To Aqua, it hardly even mattered, seeing a good spot and happily setting out the blanket, motioning for the others to sit down. "Let's get situated and then Megumin can have her fun. I'll just set a barrier up so it doesn't mess with the picnic."
Megumin was close to fighting the idea, but her stomach stopped her before she could, growling loudly in defiance. She hadn't eaten lunch yet either, having been out with Aqua so she was slightly starving. "Very well! Even the fires of destruction must occasionally be fed, that they may rage all the more fiercely! ...Could I please have some of the cookies we bought? The little star-shaped ones with the sugar."
Honestly, none of them could be happier with the light little meal, even if the breeze was a little chilly. Aqua just took the chance to cuddle up closer to Kazuma, excusing it as trying to stay warm, while Megumin stoically shivered and sniffled, fighting the chill with warm tea. Eventually though, it was time for the 'main event'. Megumin boldly stepped forward, Aqua's freshly erected barrier scant centimeters away from her. She had already used most of the chant she was about to use, but somebody had stopped it short last time, so she felt the need to allow it to fully shine now. "Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson." The runes re-ignited and she felt the building sense of anticipation while the orb in her staff began to glow with baleful power. "The time of awakening cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortion! I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force: a destructive force without equal! Return all creation to cinders, and come from the abyss! Explosion!"
The coiling streams of ink-dark magic that had been gathering throughout her incantation ignited like a river of stars, brilliant and blinding, a fuse burning down to a singular point where light itself distorted under the weight of the gathered sorcery. The resulting detonation was every bit as sublime as it had ever been, consuming all it touched and obliterating earth and masonry, leaving only glowing stone and cinder behind! She'd never before had a chance to observe her work from as close as Aqua's barrier now allowed her to and it was beautiful.
It was also not at all as controlled as she'd promised Kazuma it would be. Complete and utter chaos consumed the slum, wall and nearly an extra ten feet of perfectly good stonework, completely obliterated by the devastation on either side of the targeted area, along with fields, orchards and outbuildings on the far side of the wall, not only burned up or flattened by the heat and force of the blast, but crushed and scarred by falling chunks of debris the size of catapult stones. It was, to be blunt, complete pandemonium, as screams of panic and alarm bells could be heard coming from the city proper, even out here on the outskirts.
"Megumin, what in every possible kind of hell was that?!" Kazuma shouted, ripping her hat from her head as her shaky knees barely held her up. She had put some points into mana, but not nearly enough to be at full strength after expending all of that mana. Besides, who couldn't be a little 'effected' after witnessing a display like that? "I thought you said you could control it!"
"I said no such thing. You assumed I could" she responded, unashamed of her misdeed and clearly more proud than anything, judging by her smirk.
Kazuma's last nerve almost audibly snapped and proceeded to slap her repeatedly with her stupid hat, knocking her eye patch crooked in the process. "Wait, you have TWO eyes?!" he exclaimed in a strangled voice, while Megumin yelped and tried to cover herself. "What the hell?! No wonder your aim sucks! Haven't you ever heard of depth perception?!"
"I-I need it to suppress my unbridled power lest I bring ruin to others!" she tried to retort, the effect somewhat undercut by her childish pout in the face of his scolding. The fact that removing it hadn't restored energy to her at all also showed just how much of a lie that was.
"You stupid, careless, psychotic, overpowered, godsforsaken chuuni munchkin! Do you have any idea how much damage you just caused?! You are going to be working to pay the guild back for this for the next decade, or so help me god, I will personally delete Explosion off of your card!" he threatened, trying to go through her cloak to follow through on that promise right then and there.
"Uh, Kazuma, don't you think you're being a little harsh on her? She is still just a child and all children make mistakes, right?" Aqua asked, trying to calm the desk jockey down a bit.
The unfortunate problem for all involved, was that Kazuma had been bottling up his stress with no outlet for his frustrations for several weeks now - the coping mechanism of retail workers everywhere. The typical causes of his anxiety weren't acceptable targets, being composed of clients he needed to stay on the good side of, and most of the adventurers that he would otherwise vent his spleen on had been nothing but helpful so as not to attract the ire of the guy who signed their paychecks. Unfortunately, all Aqua had just done was place herself in the crosshairs of a Kazuma with exactly zero fucks left to give and a belt full of ammunition to throw at anyone who crossed his path.
"I don't wanna hear it from you, Baqua! This picnic was your idea! Why didn't you warn me that Explosion was so damned huge? I thought you knew about all this kind of crud with all your godly knowledge and the like! Add to that, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be in this situation to start with! I'd be drinking endless chocolate milkshakes in the afterlife somewhere! And why did you even buy picnic stuff when we're still up to our eyeballs in debt?! That's a problem YOU caused, by the way, because your useless ass couldn't even handle a few itty-bitty zombies, when your whole class is their counter!" Were he in a clearer state of mind, Kazuma would probably have admitted he was going a bit- Okay, way too far, but in the moment, it was hard to remember that he wasn't really angry with her; she was just a convenient person on hand for him to vent at.
Unfortunately, Aqua wasn't about to just take that.
"Oh, you wanna talk a big game, eh lil' virgin boy? Get over here so I can wring your ungrateful neck!" Aqua then tried to pounce him, only to be held back by an outstretched foot.
That was the absolute shambles the town guards found them in: An exhausted Megumin being assaulted by Kazuma with a hat, a furious guild clerk in the middle of something approaching a psychotic break, and Aqua giving up trying to assault Kazuma around his leg and just resorting to biting it.
At least it's warm inside of a jail cell.
