As the old saying goes, life goes on. Kazuma had spent far too much time for his liking helping his girlfriend's church and followers become legitimized, having to explain the change of species to the local magistrate, and a bunch of other annoying legalese that he'd rather not even think about. Today, though, was relaxing. He never thought he'd reach a point in his life where going through his personal finances was a relaxing day, but with his job and class, it was bound to happen eventually. He made a mental note to check his current level later. He'd not dug his Adventurer's card out in months.

Kazuma leaned back in his seat, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Reflecting back on his time here in Axel, it occurred to him it'd been almost a full year since he'd been brought here with Aqua. Sure, it might have been rough at the start, but he couldn't be happier with how his lazy life was starting to shape up.

Then that illusion of calm was destroyed like a straw house before a storming gale.

Megumin burst into the room, a triumphant smirk on her face. "It is time! I have waited long and hard, but my ban on Explosion has been lifted!"

Aqua shuffled down the stairs, crying slightly. "Kazuma! I might have accidentally spent a bit of our savings on spoiling the Nymphs?"

Darkness burst in from the front door, panting heavily and sweating as she'd clearly ran long and hard to get there. "KAZUMA! MY FATHER IS TRYING TO MARRY ME OFF TO A NOBLE AND I NEED YOUR HELP!"

Kazuma let his head fall, catching it in his hands as he let out a groan of frustration as his idyllic day was shattered by his party's problems.

"KAZUMA! I NEED TO BEAR YOUR CHILD!" Kazuma almost choked as Yunyun teleported into the room, disheveled and her clothes looking worse for wear. The four looked at her for a moment before devolving into yelling.

-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-

It took far longer than Kazuma would have liked, but eventually, the five of them all managed to calm down enough to start discussing their issues properly.

"Okay, Aqua, we'll handle your issue first since it will likely be a simple matter. How much money did you blow?" Kazuma asked, turning to look at her on his right.

Blushing, Aqua rubbed her legs together in embarrassment before leaning over, whispering in his ear. Kazuma nearly exploded. "YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?! Aqua, that's worth more than the mansion! I didn't even know we had that much liquidity!"

"Uh, we didn't? Heh…" Aqua admitted, unable to meet his eyes.

"…what did you do?" He asked, his voice dangerously low.

Aqua looked pointedly away, pulling out a slip of paper, sliding it over to him. "Uh, took out a loan?"

Kazuma read over it, becoming incandescently furious for a moment before a calmness overtook him. "Aqua. How did you manage to use my house as collateral?"

"Um… Luna thought I had your permission?" She admitted, poking her fingers together in embarrassment.

Kazuma stared at the guild issued loan for a few more minutes before letting out a long suffering breath. "You will be making this up to me with no less than ten cosplay outfits. You will also be explaining to the nymphs how you will need them to pay you back with a percentage of their profits because it wasn't your money." Aqua looked like she was about to object, only to be silenced by Kazuma's glare. "…You may pick half of the outfits," he did relent, knowing she did occasionally like dressing up.

Turning to Megumin, he motioned for her to elaborate her issue now. Megumin wasted no time, standing and striking a dynamic pose. "I, the foremost archmage of the Crimson Demon Clan, am no longer bound by the paltry laws of this land! My banishment from the glory of Explosions has finally ended and-"

"Okay, you can use Explosion again without legal issues and want to go on a trip to blow something up. We can do that once everything else is settled." Megumin looked like she was going to interject again, but was stopped by Kazuma holding up a hand. "Yes, we'll make a picnic out of it again and we can all go."

With that, Megumin was satiated, retaking her seat. Darkness stood next, holding a hand to her chest. "My father Lord Ingis is trying to have me marry Lord Alderp's son."

"And the problem here is…" Kazuma asked, motioning for her to elaborate.

"Kazuma! I won't be able to adventure with you all if I am to be wed! I will be stuck in whatever estate we end up in, forced to go through the day to day boredom of noble life!" She explained, clearly hurt at the thought of needing to give up her passion and friends.

"Why?" Kazuma asked, twirling a pen between his fingers. "It's just meant to be political, right?"

"I, um, yes, I suppose?" Darkness answered, clearly confused.

"So, why not just make it clear that it's all political and demand a passage in it that states you are to be allowed to continue adventuring until you're ready to settle down? If Alderp's son agrees to such an arrangement, you can continue to adventure, you won't have to keep answering the calls of suitors because you'll be betrothed, and you can even work in a clause about dissolution of the contract if either party finds themselves at a later date incompatible." Kazuma had been writing notes down the entire time, his stint of reading up on Belzerg law coming in hand for the wording of the clauses for her to ask her father to include.

Darkness looked at the sheet of paper, tearing up for a moment before lunging over the table, hugging the confused merchant. "This is perfect! Please, can you and Aqua come to my father's estate and help me deal with this whole issue? It would make me feel so much more comfortable."

Kazuma was surprised, gently patting Darkness's back while looking at Aqua in confusion. "I, uh, sure?"

"Thank you," Darkness said, letting him go before retaking her seat, her earlier melancholy gone now.

"Okay, now for the weirdest request… why the hell do you want me to be your baby daddy?" Kazuma asked, pointing an accusatory finger at Yunyun.

Yunyun blushed, looking away at the accusation. "It isn't so much a desire as a need really." Kazuma's expression made it clear that he took that as a compliment, the girl feeling the need for him despite being taken already. "See, there is a prophecy requiring it." With that tidbit of information, his ego deflated immediately. That is until Aqua squeezed his thigh understandingly under the table.

"Oookay, do you have the prophecy hand?" Kazuma asked, holding out his hand. "And while we're at it, where have you been for the last few months and why are your clothes all torn up?"

Yunyun teared up as she handed the letter the prophecy was on over, finally bawling fully after. "It was so awful! This man needed help moving soap, so I did. Then he told me that I'd probably be really good at selling soap, so he asked me if I'd like to try. I did, and I thought I was really good at it, but then he told me he could sell me a bunch cheap so I could resell it for extra money. After how good it felt and easy it was, I figured I could easily sell a few crates. After that, one thing led to another and I eventually ended up in El Road, sold as a slave and was almost bought by a fat and ugly nobleman!" Yunyun continued to bawl, Megumin patting her on the shoulder.

Kazuma read the letter and the date, smiling calmly once he did. "While a lot of details were left out, I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad you're back home safely. Why don't you go see Missy? She's probably missing you too. Megumin?" Kazuma asked, motioning for the Explosion mage to take her friend out for some fun to forget the pain.

Once they'd left, Aqua turned to Kazuma, curious. "I assume you had a plan, but why did you send her away while she was hurting so badly?"

"Because Missy is one of her friends and an emotivore? She can probably eat a bit of that trauma," Kazuma explained before setting the letter down. "In good news, this letter is a load of shit. It's dated two weeks ago and Hyoizaburo was here just last week to get the updates for the card tables. If I had to guess, somebody in the village took some creative license with writing this… like always." Kazuma stood up, stretching. "Well, when they're home, we'll calm them down and schedule a trip to the village, just to make sure they're all safe. In the meantime, how far is your dad's mansion Darkness?"

"Um, about a half day by carriage," she answered, smiling hopefully.

"Cool. We can leave in the morning, hopefully knock this betrothal stuff out in a day or two, and then the mage duo can teleport us to the Crimson Demon Village. That's on the front of the war, right? We can even let Megumin blow a bunch of them up." Kazuma was so proud of himself, having solved all of their issues in such a precise and mature way.

-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-

Kazuma hated himself for ever thinking this would be easy or simple. Walter had seemed agreable. Almost easy going for a noble even! Heck, Darkness and him even seemed to get along, despite his almost too chivalric attitude. The issue came when the fat tub of lard Alderp showed up to 'help' sign the paperwork.

"Now see here, there is no need for a nullification clause!" Alderp insisted for the tenth time in what might have been a minute.

"Old friend, I truly don't see why you're so opposed to such a thing. Both of the children seem to be fine with it. Besides, wouldn't you want them to have the option if they ever fall in love with someone else?" Lord Ignis tried to reason, baffled at the insistence on the clause's removal.

"Preposterous! It's bad enough you want her to be allowed to pursue her passion as adventurer until her prime child rearing years are over, but what if she dissolves the contract just before the marriage would go through? Then Walter would have waited for ten years for nothing!" Alderp argued, his face a not particularly healthy shade as he spoke.

Ignis nodded, understanding the point. "Which is part of the reason the clause should remain. If Walter doesn't wish to wait, he can find another betrothed and cancel this contract."

Kazuma watched as the two of them bounced back and forth with logic, reason, and pure stubbornness. Lord Ignis had honestly found the agreement brilliant, not wanting to force his daughter to do anything she didn't want to and glad that she would agree to ANY contract because of it. Alderp, by comparison, was being completely unreasonable. Kazuma hummed in thought as he stood on the side of the room, serving tray in hand as he squinted at the short, fat man. He and Aqua had been asked to dress as servants for the meeting to hide their true purpose; to make sure Darkness behaved and that Kazuma could give further legal ideas if necessary.

Kazuma started trying to figure out just why Alderp could be so insistent on that particular clause. It wasn't even a particularly uncommon idea amongst the somewhat insane nobility of Belzerg.

Aqua on the other hand, bumped Kazuma at some point, motioning to Alderp with her chin. "Is it just me, or does he kind of stink?" She asked in a low whisper.

Kazuma almost laughed, but choked it back as he tried to smell what she smelled. "I smell perfume, if that's what you mean."

"No, no. It's stronger than that and it smells… like…" she eventually remembered what she was trying to recall, lighting up. "Almost like a demon! Why would he smell like that though? My presence would have made him uncomfortable if he was one," she pointed out, half mumbling to herself.

Kazuma was now suspicious. Aqua didn't tend to mess around with accusations of demons. He didn't have much he could do where he was standing, but he could use his Identify to see if the noble had anything odd on him. Rings seemed normal. Jacket was fine. Belt was fine. Buckle was fine. Shoes and pants were fine. Hat was fine. Necklace came back as a 404. Walking stick- Kazuma mentally stopped himself as he looked at the necklace again. He'd never come across an object he couldn't at least somewhat identify. This thing's price was listed as a little infinity symbol too, a curious occurrence if there ever was one.

Kazuma cleared his throat, catching the attention of the two nobles. "Would the sirs perhaps like a moment to collect their thoughts, wet their appetites, and discuss with their children? It has gone past lunchtime and both of you must be famished."

Kazuma hoped wouldn't get yelled at for interrupting, which Alderp seemed like he was about to do, before Ignis stood, a smile on his face. "That sounds perfect. Shall we meet back in an hour?"

The steam left Alderp's sails as he fell back against the seat, nodding petulantly. "I suppose that is agreeable."

"Excellent. I will have a tray brought to you post haste and your son will be informed." Ignis led the way out of the room, Kazuma and Aqua behind him. Once they were a distance away to not be overheard, he spoke to Kazuma. "I presume you stopped us for a good reason?"

Kazuma nodded, not breaking stride. "Aqua says she smelled something demonic on him. That made me suspicious so I started identifying what he had on hand. His necklace chain was barely visible, but when I used my skill on it, it came out as an error. I have a feeling that he might be up to no good."

Ignis hummed, thinking to himself on how they could proceed. "I've known Alderp for a long time. The man I knew would never have dealt with demons and their ilk. Do you think the necklace is possibly possessing him?"

Kazuma turned to Aqua, who shrugged, unsure herself. "Maybe. Regardless, if it's refusing to be identified like that, I don't trust it."

Ignis finally stopped pacing, rubbing his forehead. "This day just keeps getting better." Turning to the duo, he set his hands akimbo, looking every bit the lord he was. "Very well. You two have a job to do now. Before he leaves my mansion today, I need you two to get that off of him without violence. Can you manage that?"

Kazuma nodded, confident he could come up with something to accomplish the task.

-Ko-No-Su-Ba!-

Kazuma hated his earlier self for agreeing to all of this and his own hubris at claiming the task would be easy.

Alderp had been paranoid about people even seeing the necklace, let alone getting to touch it! Three more hours of hosting the obese oaf and Kazuma had only glanced a look at it twice. Now he was preparing to leave and he hadn't succeeded.

Ignis stood at the front of his mansion, seeing his guests off as they prepared to get into their carriage. "I am saddened we couldn't come to an accord today, old friend." The aging lord of the estate said, barely restraining his frustration.

Alderp looked offended, as if he was of no fault in how everything had gone. "Yes, well, your demands are just too unreasonable. You'll never marry Lalatina off-"

"THAT'S IT! Stop talking about my friend that way!" Aqua shouted, the, until now, well behaved goddess pointing at Alderp. "All you've done since you got here was talk down about her when she is one of the nicest, sweetest, and most loyal people I know. Sure, she's a bit weird, but she's tons better than you could ever be!"

Darkness and Ignis stood, shocked at Aqua's outburst. They hadn't expected her to lash out like that at a noble of all things, assuming she knew better. Kazuma unfortunatly realized too late this was exactly the kind of thing she'd do.

Alderp smirked, clearly feeling he now had a new card to play. "Lord Ignis, you allow your servants to speak so? I demand some form of retribution for such an insult to myself. That or, perhaps agreeing to my terms?" He trailed off, knowing that Iginis wouldn't fight him.

Kazuma's mind was whirring, trying to find a way out of this as Ignis spluttered. Darkness looked like she'd just been shot, realizing everything she'd fought for might be thrown away. Then it struck Kazuma. "Unfortunately, we are not employees of the house of Ignis, and as such you cannot demand retribution from them for something we do or say," Kazuma said, stepping forward and pulling Aqua with him.

"What nonsense is this?" Alderp asked, scowling at the two perceived servants.

"We are friends of Lalatina and her party members and agreed to come today to give her moral support. We were not offered pay nor was any asked for. Therefore, your problem is with us." Kazuma knew the law was on his side here, sort of. Alderp couldn't blame Ignis, but now the blame fell squarely on Aqua, and by extension, him.

"Bah, balderdash. Fine then! I'll demand the blue haired one's head unless I am given what I want! You are no noble yourself and can't deny me that. So, what will it be Lord Ignis. Your daughter, or her life?" Alderp asked, his grin disgusting to even his former friend.

Kazuma interrupted before Ignis could answer. "Neither! I shall defend her myself. Or would you deny the right of an honor duel?" Kazuma was honestly pulling half of this out his ass and internally sweating bullets. He couldn't fight! He'd get completely creamed if Alderp-

"Pft, fine! Walter? Kill this boy for me, son." Alderp waved a dismissive hand, no longer interested now that he no longer thought he could get what he wanted.

Kazuma's shoulders slumped as the worst case scenario was coming to bare.

"Really Father? Are you sure? The blue haired one did have a point, you've been quite-"

"I didn't ask you what you thought, do it!" Alderp snapped, pushing his son forward, towards Kazuma.

Walter let out a sigh and a sad smile as he turned towards Kazuma. "I do apologize. You know how parents can be." He then unsheathed his sword, clearly not wanting to do this.

Kazuma panicked, pulling out his Money Cannon, he started checking the settings on it. He didn't want to kill Walter, he knew that much. That was when an idea struck him. He just hoped it wouldn't get him killed.

Walter tilted his head, looking at Kazuma's weapon."What is that?" he asked, never having seen such a device before.

"Oh, this?" Kazuma asked, holding up the cannon. "This is my weapon. It's a unique to me skill. Let's me throw money into it and the blasts it shoots are directly proportional to the amount spent. Accidentally blew up a mountain with it once." Kazuma was trying to come off as more confident than he really was.

"A-a mountain?" Walter asked, gulping.

Thankfully, the plan seemed to be working.

"Yeah, so to be fair, I limited it to ten Eris a pop. Shouldn't be much more than a decent punch that way," Kazuma explained, leveling the weapon towards Walter.

"Wait, what class are you?!" Alderp asked, never having heard of such an ability.

Kazuma shrugged, resting his blaster on his shoulder. "I'm a Merchant, strictly speaking. Don't ask the leve, haven't looked at my card since like, level fifty."

Alderp began to sweat upon hearing the level, confused that a Merchant might have any combat skills. "No matter, Walter should have no issue with you anyway. Walter!"

Walter let out a final sigh. "Yes, Father." The next thing Kazuma knew, Walter was right up against him, his instincts saving him as he held the blade back barely with his cannon. "I do apologize, but you did ask for this."

Kazuma used one hand to grab Walter's wrist, holding him tight. "Your father has a cursed necklace on. We've been trying to get it off all day!" Kazuma hissed at the nobleman, causing the blonde's eyes to widen.

"Why did you not tell me before?" Walter asked, holding the lock.

"Because I only saw you with your father!" Kazuma whispered loudly as he dared.

Walter broke the clash, dashing back before stabbing a few times. From the outside, it looked real, but Kazuma could see the obvious holes left for him to dodge. Walter gave Kazuma another window to clash, leaning in. "I will retrieve it for you. IF you prove to be lying though, I will kill you for the insult." The last bit was said in a tone far more seriously than Walter had been all day.

Walter fell back again, looking down to his stomach, showing Kazuma he wanted to be shot. Kazuma took the cue, shooting a ten Eris blast at him. It might have looked impressive, but it wasn't much more than a bar fight punch to the gut.

Walter was thankfully a decent actor.

"Argh!" The young noble shouted, falling to a knee, biting his cheek enough so he could spit out blood. "First blood is yours. This is your win."

Kazuma blinked in confusion at how easy that had been. Surely it shouldn't have been that simple, right?

Alderp seemed to agree, raging. "How? You must have cheated, you peasant scum!" He walked up to Walter, helping the boy to his feet. "I demand-" What he was going to say was cut off as Walter snatched the necklace, tossing it straight to Kazuma. "Wait, no!"

Kazuma caught it, looking at it before realizing something about it. "Um, Aqua, this isn't demonic. Isn't this a divine relic?"

Aqua skipped up, leaning against Kazuma to investigate it as Alderp started sputtering and getting back to his feet after falling down from Walter's actions. "Huh, yeah! That's one of the ones that never got retrieved. I think it lets you steal somebody else's body if I remember correctly." She looked at Alderp, her nose scrunching up. "He probably used it long enough that his soul turned rotten like a demon's."

"Now see here! That is my private property! It has been handed down from generation to generation of my family and I will see it returned immediately!" Alderp raged, only not lunging forward in case they did something to the necklace.

Walter looked between the two, clearly 'better' now as he sheathed his sword. "That does seem to be a rather far fetched claim. Do you have any proof of what you say?"

Kazuma had an idea at this point, casually pulling out a lie detecting bell behind his back from his pocket space. "Well, lets ask your father! Lord Alderp, how many bodies have you taken as your own?" Darkness and Ignis could see the bell behind Kazuma's back, internally smiling as they watched.

"I never! I have never done such a-" the clear ding of the bell rang out, stopping his tirade. "What was that?"

Kazuma pulled the bell forward, holding out before the Father and Son. "Just a lie detecting bell. Would you like to us again how you've never snatched a body again?" Kazuma asked, Lord Ignis already storming forward as Darkness lit up.

"I- you see, I didn't-" Alderp was cut off as Ignis hoisted him up, holding the shorter fat man so they were eye to eye.

"A bit over thirty years ago. Just before the father of that body passed away, you stole that body, didn't you?" Ignis asked, fiery rage hidden behind his eyes.

"Old friend, how could you think I'd ever do something so-"

"DID YOU STEAL MY FRIENDS BODY OR NOT!" Ignis roared, reminding all present how terrifying Belzerg nobles could be.

"I didn't, I-" the faint ding of the bell was what sealed Alderp's fate, the fight leaving him as he realized he was stuck with no outs. He didn't even have his demon nearby to get him out of this mess, leaving him little more than a weak old man.

Aqua crossed her arms, looking angrily at Alderp before turning to Kazuma. "Kazuma! Send it to Eris. She'll properly dispose of it."

Kazuma shrugged, doing so without even thinking about it, since it seemed reasonable for once, coming from Aqua. For his troubles, he had a second Eris Eris.

Alderp's eyes were even more hollow now as he wheezed. "What did you do?"

"I sold it to Eris. One of my abilities lets me sell just about anything. It's how I beat the Destroyer," Kazuma admitted, not seeing why it was such a big deal.

Even Ignis looked a bit shocked at that admission, turning back to the boy who was her daughter's party member. "Truly? That foul device and that monstrous machine are gone because of you?" Ignis went quiet for a moment before letting out a belly laugh, accidentally dropping Alderp in the process. "I see. You truly are a fascinating young man, Kazuma. Help protect demons, get rid of the destroyer, destroy a mountain, and now stopped a fiend who was stealing the bodies of nobles for who knows how long. I was right when I said you were going to go far!"

Alderp tried to crawl away while Ignis was distracted, pulling Kazuma into a hug with his daughter and Aqua as the man now finally understood why his friend had changed radically all those years ago. He didn't make it too far before a sword pierced the ground before him, an unempathetic Walter staring down at him. Alderp sagged in defeat, but Kazuma could see the smoldering hatred in Alderp's eyes. The vile noble might have lost this round, but he seemed to think he had at least one more card to play.

Alderp would not go quietly into the night.