A/EDIT: the site seems to be going down on and off again, which means this chapter is getting a little in the way of feedback. Hopefully it's fixed soon... it really hurts to write a chapter and receive mostly silence...T_T

I wish I could've made this longer. Sorry...

Double update day is a go, as my birthday approaches. Yay...

As promised, here we are. Any review you could leave -large or small- really helps out.

Now, then, would you prefer weekly updates to remain for this story? Do let me know what you think in your reviews! Untraveled Road is crying out for attention too, ya know...

As ever, the fate of this story depends on you, the reader. Your feedback determines the fate of this tale, and many others. I own no references, quotes, memes or themes! They're all tributes to legends far greater than me. I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time Time and feedback will determine if this remains a story. Simple as that. In other words...its up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know in the comments~!

Once more, hopefully I captured the feeling of a proper RWBY episode from the old days. I'll leave that to you, the reader, to determine. Do tell me what you think! It really does matter!

As a reminder for the Arc Children, I'll list them up here once more: Saphron, Sabrina and Sable, Child, Vaylin, Jaune, Jeanne, and Azula, quite literally the black sheep of the bunch with her dark hair. We haven't seen the ninth yet.

Since someone asked, I'll list additional things; Saphron and Jaune are obviously from the main RWBY canon. Then we have the twins Sabrina (Netflix version) and Sable (Silver Sable) while Jeanne is clearly based of the version in Fate Apocrypha, you all know who Azula (Avatar) and Vaylin (Star Wars) as well as Child, technically named Chelsea in this story, (Young Justice). I'll not speak to the ninth -or technically tenth- due to the story and revealing potential spoilers.

In any case, hope Enjoy the chapter~! Away we go~!

Here we go~!

"Did you not hear what Salem said?! She LITERALLY wants to end the world! Wipe it of all sentient life! That's as evil as you can get!"

"Then distract her! Don't give her a chance to even think about her plan.

"How?!"

"Drown her in grandchildren!"

.

..

...Juniper, no. Do you really think that'll work?"

"Won't know until we try now, will we?"

"You can't be serious...

~?

Just a Little Vacation

Salem did not squeal.

Salem did not shout.

Salem did not sob.

She certainly wasn't shedding any tears and holding onto her precious, adorable little granddaughter for dear life. No. Nay. Nosiree. No matter what anyone said. Indeed, if anyone dared to say so, she'd smother them in Grimm and hand their corpse out for the crows...

.

..

...alright, perhaps she was clinging to her.

Just a bit. Mayhaps a tad.

A touch!

Because you see, Azula Arc fit perfectly in her lap. As though she were meant to be there .Sure, she was a little older and perhaps bit taller than her own children were, but still! It was only the knowledge that she might yet get to meet more grandchildren that kept her from spiriting her away to the Grimmlands and never letting the girl out of her sight.

Must! Protect! Granddaughter!

Such a precocious child! So clever! And so skilled!

Sure, she might have a small fixation on fire, but, what child didn't?

She could see the distinct similarities between her, and Ozma in the face and eyes; she had all of his brash confidence, tempered only by pride and power. Arrogance, too. No doubt she got that from her side of the family. Such lovely dark hair. A mutation perhaps, or some recessive gene acting up. Ozma's hair had been darker in his first life, but not quite black. It was a delight to comb; her dear granddaughter had proven most patient in that regard, despite her lack of practice. Perhaps she'd even let her braid it...?

Still, where had those golden eyes come from?

Salem would be the first to admit that her genes were unstable, and had only grown more so throughout the years.

Yet her children have been pure, have they not? Pure and perfect and precious, the very apple of her eye. There was no telling what they would've grown up to be, three of their lives have been cut so woefully short. They would have been magnificent, true rulers in their own right. Before fate ripped them away from.

She felt her emotions rising and stomped them down before her temper could get the better of her...

.

..

...again.

No, no, no, don't focus on that. Remain calm. Breathe.

For the first time in an age, she could feel her heart beating again. It was...a curious feeling. She'd nearly forgotten the like.

And the sight of herself in the mirror; that had been a bit of a shock as well. She wasn't used to seeing herself like this; her once bone-white skin now merely an ashen grey, the gruesome, ghastly red veins nowhere to be seen and her eyes still red on black, but no longer murderously so; not quite the burning coals in her skull they'd once been.

Sometimes, when she squinted in the mirror, she almost thought she could see flashes of blonde through her ashen hair.

Was this a sign? Might she be on the verge of being relieved of our curse at long? Of being freed from her torment?

Thinking of the Gods made her grit her teeth...

"Grandmother?"

"Hmm?" she looked down and blinked, dragged from her thoughts.

Azula craned her neck back, glancing away from mirror to peer up at her. "Who would win in a fight? You or papa?

Salem read her like a book; if only because she allowed herself to be. Regardless, she kept coming the girl's hair, carefully working the snags out her ebony tresses. "I'm not certain," she said diplomatically.

Her granddaughter took that as most children would. "Papa would win, then."

'Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

Salem nearly squealed all over again.

Such a daddy's girl! Their children must be safeguarded at all costs!

Watts coughed from his place on the couch; alas, the fool, that caught the child's attention.

"And if you work for my grandmother, does that make you my uncle?"

The scientist sputtered. "Me? Then again I suppose Uncle Arthur does have a nice ring to it...

Azula tilted her head. "You talk funny."

His mustache twitched. "I am educated, child."

Her gaze went lidded. "Is that why you have that fuzzy caterpillar on your face?"

"Impudent pup!"

Salem watched them bicker, bemused.

What did she want from this? What was her expectation? Had someone asked her that only a few short days ago, she would've said destruction. Death. An end to her miserable existence, dragging the whole world down with her, if need be.

One final middle finger to the beings that had cursed her so.

And yet now...

.

..

...now Salem didn't know what she wanted. No, wait, she told a lie. Right now she wanted to hold this child close and never let her go.

Perhaps...perhaps a vacation was in order.

But she couldn't have that, could she?

Ozma would never allow it.

He'd take them from her.

She'd lose them.

AGAIN.

The mere thought of doing so brought her pain, with it, she felt her face white again, ugly red veins, pulsing across her cheeks. She could feel the vile corruption burning in her veins, the unceasing urge to rip and rend and reave and DESTROY-

"Grandmother?"

Just like that, she snapped back again, willed herself to calm, and the transformation faded.

Azula looked up at her with her keen golden eyes, head tilted just so to the right, Arthur forgotten. "How do I become immortal?"

Salem nearly wept on the spot. "And who told you I was a immortal, hmmm?"

"Daddy did."

Right before he'd run off somewhere with Juniper no doubt, leaving no less than nine shadow clones watching her like a hawk. They were over there in the corner, ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. Not that they needed to, she wouldn't dare harm a hair on this girl's head.

Or had he run off at all?

Was this a test? Was he even now nearby, ready to strike like a thunderbolt should she blunder? No, they were up to something. She wasn't blind to their mad machinations, but so long as they worked in their favor, she was prepared to overlook them.

"Also uncle Arthur." Azula added as an afterthought.

Watts sputtered. "Lies!"

"So?" Her granddaughter squirmed in her lap, eagerly awaiting her answer. "How'd you do it?"

Salem saw little point in lying, if only to warn her. "By making fools of the gods."

"Hmm." Azula nodded once thumbing her chin. "Daddy's a god."

That piqued her interest. "Is he, now?"

"Mom calls him that sometimes."

Too much information!

Bah! Naruto Uzumaki was not a God, of that much she was fairly certain. A demigod, perhaps, but no true blue-or gold and violet-divinity as she knew it. And even the brother gods hadn't been truly omniscient, nor omnipresent. They were fallible. They have been tricked, fooled, by her, no less, and her plans weren't even all that brilliant...

Nevertheless, she couldn't deny that he had a spark of something deeper within him. Neither of magic, nor a semblance.

He wasn't from this world, was he?

So he was from beyond the stars, then. An alien.

Oddly enough, the realization didn't trouble her as it might have.

The god had left this world behind, leaving it as a Remnant of its former self, but it stood to reason that they'd gone somewhere, hadn't they? There must be others out there, realms left untouched by their depredations and sundry schemes. It might be nice to see them someday.

If only she had been blessed with a son like Naruto before her daughters. Her children would have feared for nothing...

"Soooo...immortality?" Her grandchild prodded her insistently.

Salem tutted and tweaked her ear between brushings. "Dear girl, that's not something you want."

"Why not?" Azula countered. "It sounds nice."

"It isn't."

Azula sulked, but only for a moment before changing tack. "Can you show me how to use more magic, then?"

Clever girl. She'd been aiming for that all along. Cinder could've learned a thing or two from this one. And she just might, provided she survived her impending punishment. Honestly, where had she gone wrong with that girl...? Surely she wasn't that out of practice and she had been an orphan, but she didn't recall raising her to be a power-hungry wretch...

Bah! Enough of her. She had a granddaughter to spoil and centuries to make up for.

"You seem to have an excellent grasp of fire already."

"Naturally." Azula preened and it was such an Arc thing to do that Salem couldn't but coo at the sight. "I can even shoot lightning!"

Salem craned her neck, belatedly realizing she hadn't heard a peep from Jaune Arc or his paramour for some time now.

They must've taken their chance to scarper back to Beacon while she was distracted.

The thought filled her with worry, but she did her best to quell it. The boy could defend himself. Besides she had a Nevermore watching him and a link to his girl besides. If anything happened to either of them, she would rain fresh hell down upon Beacon, rip the Academy up by its roots, then cast it off its cliff and into the sea!

Overprotective? Who? Her? She wasn't overprotective!

She'd pluck out the tongue of whomever said so.

Or perhaps she'd turn them into a dog.

Ozpin preferred his birds, but hounds were far more loyal creatures, she found. Come to think of it, she did have that one recent...experiment lying around in the basement back in Grimmlands. An amusing prototype, one she'd managed to create some time after killing that noisy silver-eyed woman.

Whatever was her name again?

It was so terribly difficult to recall the names of everyone she'd ever killed. There had been so many. In fairness,

Ah, Summer, that was it.

That one had died quickly, cleanly even, but her powerful silver eyes had sparked an idea and those who came afterward were not so fortunate.

On a whim, Salem flicked out a tendril of thought towards her loyal creature, considering it.

Decisions, decisions...

Once upon a time, it had been a miserable wretch who killed for coin, selling his services to the highest bidder, taking what he wanted, when he wanted, where he wanted. Despite his natural skill and god-given eyes, not once did he deign to kill Grimm, for he was a wretched coward at heart. A petty, ignoble soul, unworthy of her notice.

Or so he had been, until he met Tyrian.

Truly, a waste of the silver eyes.

She had made him...more.

Might that mutt finally be useful after all these years?

.

..

...bah, she'd said she would come clean, hadn't she?

May as well make it useful at long last.

"Come to me. I have a task for you


(...Miles away in the Grimmlands...)


The Hound raised its head.

Its ears flickered up.

"Protect...?"


(.0.0.0.)


Satisfied with her missive, Salem returned her attention to her granddaughter.

"Dear girl, would you like to meet my dog?"

Azula's face lit up. "You have a puppy?!"

"I do indeed."

"Is he a good boy?"

Watts snorted. "Not the word I'd use...

Salem fixed him with a silently smoldering stare.

"Ahem." he promptly remembered his place and coughed into a fist. "Yes, of course he is. The goodest of boys."

The safehouse door swung open before he could keep digging that hole deeper.

"Sorry," Naruto barged in, arms swinging aggressively at his sides, with Juniper only a heartbeat behind. "It took us some time to round them up." Vaylin and Chelsea are still hiding from me and Saphron's flown off somewhere, so you'll have to wait to meet them, but until then...

Three darling girls filed in after their parents. They each had bright blue eyes and striking blond hair. Two were clearly twins by the look of them, while the third had close-cropped hair near her shoulders; it was to her whom Salem's gaze gravitated; because she was staring at her most intently. She noticed something. Sharp little thing..

"Say hello, girls?"

Salem's heart lurched.

Azula huffed and hopped out her lap. "Boo. He brought the others...I still call dibs on the dog!"

Juniper blinked. "Dog?"

"Grandma says she has a puppy."

The Arc matriarch fixed her with a glare that could cut granite. "Is that so...?"

Salem coughed into a fist. "Yes, well...

"Right, might as well be blunt about this." Naruto gestured to his daughters. "Jeanne, Sabrina, Sable, meet your...well, I guess she's your grandmother."

The girls craned their necks back to regard the woman in question.

Salem made a noise caught somewhere between a sigh a sob. Was this happening? Had he actually taken pity on her? She didn't dare hope, couldn't bring herself to believe he'd changed his mind like this. He'd been so very adamant against it before Azula's arrival and even then, only complied on sufferance, so why would he...

.

..

...oh.

Unbidden, Juniper caught her and nodded once, inclining her head ever so slightly.

Realization dawned and Salem nearly tackled her on the spot.

Blessed child!

"If anyone needs me, I'll be out back putting the screws to Banesaw." Naruto pivoted, and Salem spied the faintest hint of an embarrassed pink flush on his face. "They're all yours."

Azula perked up. "Can I help interrogate the chainsaw guy?"

Naruto clicked his tongue. "Absolutely not~!"

"Awww...

"But you may watch."

"Yes~!"

Sensing the impending disaster and having no desire to be swarmed, Watts rose to his feet. "I'll join you."

Naruto wasn't having it.

"That man over there's technically your uncle."

The girls rounded on him as well, eyes so very wide.

Arthur clapped a hand to his forehead. "You rat bastard...

"Now, now," Juniper ushered the remaining three children forward. "Don't be shy. Say hello. Salem's waited a very long time to meet you."

A silence followed as the stunned girls processed his words.

Salem had an instant to brace herself.

Just a moment.

An instant.

Then:

"GRANDMA~!"

She found herself mobbed.

Jeanne reached her first and that was it; the pebble that began the avalanche. In short order, Salem found herself bowled back onto the couch, buried beneath a tide of blondes. Watts was spared for now; she was closer, much more immediately available, and unlike him, made no attempt to defend herself. Down she went, doing her best to filter through the happy exclamations and delighted questions.

At some point, her eyes began to ache; and it was all she could do to hold onto them.

Not they minded, the little angels were just as eager to be held.

Salem sniffled.

Why, it sounded like someone was weeping. Who was crying? Not her. Nay. Queens did not cry and she was the godsdamned queen of the Grim; she was made of sterner stuff than this and she would not falter in the face of her descendants, no matter how adorable they were. She would not...she wouldn't...she would...oh blast it!

Somewhere in the chaos, she heard Naruto raise his voice.

The Arc patriarch did not sound best pleased.

"Where the hell did Jaune go?!"


(.0.0.0.)


Cinder seethed.

Salem was in Vale.

How had she gotten into the city already?!

It was all falling apart, her schemes, her hopes, her dreams. Mercury still served her, still obeyed her, but he was unknown entity, now, and Emerald was nowhere to be seen.

The Breach had failed.

Where Adam was, she'd no idea; he was likely in hiding, waiting for the day of the festival and his moment to strike

Useless fools, the lot of them!

There must be a way to turn this around. There had to be.

She was meant for more than this; more than skulking, about in the dark, jumping at shadows.

Jaune Arc.

This was all his fault. Him and his wretched family.

She would see them pay for this., No, they would bleed for this...

She swore it!


(.0.0.0.)


"You're alive~?!"

Jaune had half a second to brace himself before hurricane Nora bowled him over him, driving him into their dorm wall.

"H-Hey, Nora...

Against all odds, he and Pyrrha had made it back to Beacon in one piece.

He knew he'd catch hell for it, but the looks on his teammates faces were well worth it, he felt.

Still, there could be no keeping secrets from his team. Pyrrha clearly already knew, but Ren and Nora had questions, and he...

.

..

...well, he had to answer them.

It went about as expected.

"YOU HAVE A WHAT?!"

"Shhhh!" he waved his hands frantically. "Not so loud Nora! Wait...why is Ren on the floor?

"Oh, him?" Nora giggled, slightly hysteric. "He fainted the moment you mentioned the whole Queen-of-Grimm-is-my-grandmother thing. Which you have, by the way. Totally normal. Yep, nothing crazy here...

Pyrrha palmed her face and turned away with a sigh. "How did I fall in love with this boy...?

Jaune froze.

Did she say...love...?

Nora perked up, eyes shining. "Oho~? How did the date go?"

Jaune's body immediately went the other way.

He collapsed in a dead faint.

A/N: Knockout~!

Glorious misunderstandings remain glorious.

Jaune's run off, Banesaw still needs to be interrogated and all hell is about to break loose.

Don't think we've forgotten about Team RWBY either.

...what'll happen next?

Find out next time, on Practice Makes Perfect!

Once again, reviews are my fuel. Without them I simply cannot write.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review...Would You Kindly?

Alas, there are no previews this time.

Next chapter will be bonkers.

Everyone's gonna laugh~!

...alright, some previews.

But just some!

(Preview!)

Ironwood started coughing harshly into a fist.

Ozpin frowned. "Do you know something about these Arcs already, James?"

"Not a thing."

He was lying. No matter. Their goals still aligned.

Well, at least someone seemed keen on protecting Jaune Arc just as much as he...


Naruto cracked his neck. Hummed once. Frowned.

"Acceptable."

Then he saw stars.


The Hound cocked its head. "Friend?"

Zwei mirrored him.

Ruby flung up her arms. "This is not happening!"


Tyrian cackled merrily. Soon he would have his own part to play. Oh, yes. Soon...

Wouldn't he? Surely they hadn't forgotten about him. Surely not...

...right?


Winter tilted her head, hands still clasped behind her back as she considered him intently. "You are Jaune Arc, correct?"

He didn't like the way she was looking at him, or those robot guards with her. "Can I plead the fifth?"

"You cannot." with a flourish, she unsheathed her saber. "Draw your sword."

"Excuse me?!"

"You are excused." she adopted a rigid stance. "I would see the worth of the young man Weiss has spoken so highly of in her letters."

Qrow cackled in the background. "Good luck~!"

Pyrrha was gonna murder him...


Oh, gods.

That dress.

And her hair.

She looked...beautiful didn't even begin to describe her.

She held out her hand to him and smiled. "Shall we dance?"

Jaune hesitated. "This isn't a trap, is it?"

"Take my hand, Arc."

~Nz.