I'm baaaaaaaaaaack. It's been so long! I had a baby! It's a super big time suck!
I was listening to a lot of angsty boy music when I started writing this (like, two years ago) so that's why it is the way that it is.
I can't promise regular updates but I'm tired of this sitting in my google drive.
Hope you enjoy!
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how good it would feel.
chapter one.
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You can't believe you're starting over again. You can't believe you have to repack all of your shit into the boxes you left intact in the basement when you moved in. There are probably spiders who have made homes in them, and you toss them across the concrete floor to evict them.
You've only been here for three months and the landlord is pissed you're breaking your lease but your mother had warned him you both might be moving out early. It's kind of what she does.
What you do.
You've got a system for packing, one that you've perfected over the years. You've stopped collecting knickknacks and unnecessary things like extra spices and coffee mugs. You've stuck to the basics in all the places you could–it's your mother who hasn't quite figured it out yet. She always hangs beaded curtains over doorways the day you move into a new place and manages to get new plants every chance she gets. Plants are the hardest to move–especially the massive cactus she got in Phoenix two years ago.
It takes you less than an hour to pack your room, and only a little more time to pack the kitchen. Your mom will be home soon but she won't be much help.
You want to tell her she needs to learn to do this herself but you bite your tongue because every time you mention where you'll be at the end of the week she gets teary eyed and you feel so guilty for being the cause.
Because this time, you aren't going with her.
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Edward is having a shitty day. It's not unusual, really, his days are shitty more often than not but today his mood is especially sour.
There isn't a particular reason, just that itchy, anxious rage building under his skin as he makes his way through his classes. He needs to get to study hall, and then he can ditch and smoke with Jasper and take a deep fucking breath.
Alice is more chipper than usual as she slides into the chair across from him.
"Did you hear?" she asks, eyes alight. Edward just raises his eyebrows, mouth full of turkey sandwich.
"Bella Swan is moving back to Forks."
Edward swallows and asks, "who?"
"Oh, I guess she would've been gone by the time you got here." She shrugs. Edward has only been here since the middle of ninth grade, still technically the new kid among the senior class.
"We were like, best friends in elementary school." Alice continues. "She moved away at the end of fifth grade to be with her mom–her dad's Chief Swan."
Edward nods. He'd had a few run-ins with Charlie Swan–mostly for smoking pot in front of the gas station and fighting anyone who gives him even a little bit of shit. He likes Chief Swan fine, he's an okay guy even though he is a cop.
Alice can't stop grinning and it pisses him off. Not because she's happy, but because if she's this excited to see a girl she was friends with a million years ago, she's a lot lonelier than he thought. Which is bullshit because Alice is the best, and he would mean that even if she wasn't his cousin.
"Anyway," she sighs, pulling out her own brown bag lunch. "How was the calc test? I'm totally freaking out."
Edward rolls his eyes. She'd made him study with her practically all night. At this point, he thinks he did pretty well, and that's saying something.
"It was fine, no surprises. I'm sure you'll ace it."
She still makes him go through the review packet one more time with her before lunch is over.
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Aunt Esme isn't home when they get back to the house, so Edward takes the opportunity to head straight to his greenhouse at the southern edge of the yard. Uncle Carlisle had helped him build it a couple of years ago–he'd had to spend the summer working off some hours thanks to Chief Swan's leniency after yet another fight landed him and kid he beat the shit out of in the hospital. He spent most of those hours weeding in the community garden by the high school and planting flowers on the main drag in town.
Edward surprisingly enjoyed gardening, it felt almost like meditation to him. He was putting his energy back into something good–helping something grow. He'd started his own garden at Esme and Carlisle's, which eventually expanded to a greenhouse made of spare lumber and old windows he's covered in a film so that everything looks blurry from the outside.
He grows everything–flowers and vegetables and even some fruit. His most successful crop, though, is the weed. These killer hybrid strains he got from some guy in Seattle. Weed's legal in Washington, obviously, but only if you're twenty one. And the closest dispensary is like, an hour away.
The underage people of Forks thank him for his service–mostly with twenties. He's got a decent chunk of cash hidden in his room, saving for something but unsure of exactly what.
He checks the generator that runs the grow lights, just to make sure it's not empty, before stepping inside. The warm humidity feels like an embrace, and a content smile makes its way onto his face as he squats to see his latest venture on the work table–poinsettias that are growing hopefully in time for Aunt Esme to give them out for the holidays. He's been reading up on the flowering process and it sounds difficult. He's excited for the challenge.
Satisfied that his profitable crops are doing well– and should be ready to harvest by the end of the week, just when his last picks are dried–he moves onto the orchids he's been growing for Aunt Esme's birthday and then to the tiger tooth aloe Alice picked up at their last trip to the nursery in Port Angeles. It's unruly and keeps multiplying. He's thought about propagating it and selling smaller plants but doesn't know who the hell would buy it. If it doesn't get you fucked up, his classmates are not interested.
Outside, the last of his tomatoes and peppers are ripening and he's preparing the soil at the other end of the garden for some carrots and broccoli. He's started them in the greenhouse and is hoping they'll be ready for transplant soon.
He's got dirt on his knees and under his fingernails by the time Aunt Esme gets home, arms full of groceries, which he promptly goes to help her with.
"How was it today?" she asks, handing him things to put in the freezer. "How'd that test go?"
"Fine and fine," he says, mainly because it was. Nothing exciting happened and people mostly avoided him as usual.
"Well that's…fine," Aunt Esme teases. "Did, uh, did your mom call yet?"
Edward shakes his head. It's a reasonable question, it being Wednesday and all, but he's come to expect the calls to be monthly, rather than weekly as his mom had promised.
But just because he expects it, it doesn't stop the disappointment from taking hold of his chest.
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More soon xo.
