It wasn't the first time that Mercury had felt this. A world-trembling gravity pressed down on his back, pushing his head into the ground – or, as it was, the bar's counter, directly into the puddle of his blood that had just gushed from his nose. In fact, he'd felt this more times than he could count; the experience was ingrained into his bones in the same way that his fear of the ocean or the words 'little brothers should listen to their older sisters' was.
Through numerous, painful repetition, this sensation had become something almost natural to him.
Someone was trying to force him to submit.
Vaguely, he could hear Mira fluttering around him, trying to make sure he was okay, but the sound seemed to resonate from every direction at once. It made him feel incredibly nauseous. If he could have opened his mouth for even one second, he'd have snapped at her to be quiet…
But that was impossible, because someone was telling him to keep his damn mouth shut, and so he did – unwillingly.
All he could do was stifle a pained moan as waves of discomfort cascaded over his body. While he'd felt it countless times before, this was something else compared to the authority his siblings had shoved him under before; this was as endless as the ocean, and Mercury struggled to keep his head afloat above the noise that suddenly seemed to enter his head. If the "authority" that he was used to – the kind that his siblings used when he refused to listen – was a thin like string and precise like sewing, the one he was experiencing was akin to having his head dunked in a bucket of needles and hoping one would embroider something upon his cheeks.
It was as though Mother – and yet not Mother – was screaming directly into his head. Roaring, once more solidifying his theory that she was a dragon, though that was little solace when it felt like someone was trying to tear his head in two.
If it was this bad for him, how bad was it for Anemone?
Mercury forced himself to open his eyes. The movement had the world swirling in front of his very eyes, the only thing he was able to make out being a blur of color in front of him. It was as though two planes of existence were overlapping; one was made up of the red and white swirl of Mira, while the other was…
Endless blackness. A cold that pierced the soul. Pressure like the world was thrown onto your shoulders.
The ocean.
It was as though whoever was the one trying to exert such pressure on him was telling him to return – in fact, he was almost certain of that; Mercury's body throbbed, and though moving consciously was harder than trying to control his movements by way of electrical shock, it felt like his body was going to be dragged out through the guild's double doors either way. If he stopped fighting it, there was no doubt in his mind that he'd be staggering out that way, content to throw himself into the ocean's embrace.
But he wasn't going back. He wasn't, even if that meant that he was going to die up here on the surface, and so Mercury took that resolve as his control, shakily raising a hand to where he knew that glass cup was sitting.
If there was anything that would cancel out stupor, it was an even greater shock; with that thought in mind, Mercury's fingers found the cold, smooth touch of the cup, squeezing until it was no longer cold, smooth or a cup any longer.
"D-don't… fuck with me," he huffed, squeezing with all of his strength. Even though he couldn't even speak without stuttering – couldn't even really speak, as he had no idea whether or not anyone even heard him – he felt the pop as the item shattered into his palm. Small shards of glass dug into his skin, but he paid the pain no mind, forcing himself to blink rapidly to return clarity to the world.
Several seconds passed as he sat there, waiting. Breathing. Telling himself that the pain in his hand was his whole body and that the throbbing in his head didn't matter at all. Only when he finally heard Mira calling – shouting his name did Mercury let his body release even a fraction of the tension in it, only becoming loose enough to raise his head from the countertop.
Even as he gave her the small sign that he was alive, she wasn't convinced. Mira continued to violently shake his shoulder, desperately asking what was wrong, but Mercury had no answer for her.
He was breathing heavily and sweating profusely. The time between now and the last question Mira had asked him, which he could no longer remember, could have been days and he would have been none the wiser; it felt like he'd been forcefully knocked out and put through the literal wringer, and he couldn't say without certainty that he hadn't been with how much his body ached.
That sensation was not one he wanted to experience ever again, nor was it one he ever expected to experience again. It shouldn't have happened in the first place.
"Mira, give him some space," someone said from nearby – either Bixlow or Fried, but Mercury couldn't differentiate the two in that moment. Right after, two voices started arguing, quickly becoming three or four until he could no longer keep up.
So, the first moment he had control of his body once more, Mercury stood and violently threw up all over the counter.
Well, if that wasn't a sign that he was okay – or, at the very least, aware of what was happening – he wasn't sure what was. There was no time for apologies because he turned and started looking for the only other one who would have been affected. While his vision was still somewhat hazy, it was a fact that the color green wasn't one he could easily miss – and, in fact, there were two shades of it overlapping, telling Mercury that Fried was currently entangled with Anemone.
"Bring him here," the water mage instructed, his voice raspy.
Mira either didn't like this response to someone throwing up all over her bar, or her sixth sense was active. "You can sit back down – don't do anything stupid."
"This isn't something you guys can deal with," Mercury snapped.
As though to prove Mira's point – that he was about to do something dumb – he took one step towards where the two shades of green and nearly face planted. The only reason he didn't was because Bixlow was somehow close enough to catch him.
"You good there, buddy?" Bixlow asked as he eased Mercury over his shoulder. "You're not lookin' too hot."
Mercury really, really wanted to snap, 'no shit.' Was he fine? No. Did he look fine? No. His shoulder was getting more numb the longer he kept his eyes open, a sure sign that his condition was getting worse, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Even if there was, the more important thing was making sure Anemone didn't somehow manage to wriggle free of Fried's grasp.
He wasn't sure how the gathered mages could stand it – Anemone was shrieking, and while only Mercury could understand what he was actually saying, it was abundantly clear that the child wasn't alright.
It broke Mercury's heart to hear him crying.
"Bixlow, help him sit down. We'll handle Anemone," Mira instructed, but Bixlow made the mistake of sparing Mercury a glance.
"You can't handle him unless you're going to knock him out," the water mage explained. "Let me do it. I can do it safely."
"You?" Bixlow repeated.
Evergreen cleared her throat. She was the only one with her hands completely free – Bixlow was carrying Mercury, Fried was clutching a struggling Anemone, and Mira was fretting back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell to do – so she was the only one who seemed to be completely rational. "It's that authority thing, right? The same thing you did the other day."
Mercury nodded, lips pressed in a tight line. "There is no other option."
"There's always another option," Mira cut in. She reached for Mercury's good hand, a towel in her grasp, but he shook her off.
"Not in this case. He's…"
Well, it was clear to all of them – Anemone was practically growling at them, literally attempting to claw his way out of Fried's grasp as though his life depended on whether or not he could get free. There were already thin, bloody lines on the man's arms from where he'd been scratched with long nails. A stay fist hit Fried in the eye; while Anemone would normally have little strength in his childlike body, he was fuelled now by frenzy, and the blow nearly caused Fried to release his grip entirely.
"Please," Mercury begged, "just let me do this. He's not okay – I'm not okay either, but he's a little kid. His mind can't handle this."
Fried grunted. "And what exactly is this?"
"I can explain it later. Please."
Someone else cleared their throat from behind Bixlow and Mercury, startling them both. It was Makarov. In all the commotion, he'd managed to sneak down from his office to stand at the end of the bar, simply observing the conversation.
Mercury looked at him, pleading. He didn't think that Mira was going to let him relieve Anemone of his pain, and honestly, he wouldn't either. It was downright cruel to put him to sleep using the same ability that was currently likely driving him insane, and yet there truly was no other option in his mind; unless Anemone could snap himself out of it as the water mage had, there was nothing that could be done.
He would be under the thumb of someone who wasn't Mother until he accomplished whatever "task" he was given, which was likely "return to the ocean."
Makarov gave Mercury a long stare, clearly debating what the best option was here. Even if Mira disliked it, she'd listen to what the guildmaster said, so it truly was his decision.
At least, it would have been.
"Leave it up to him," Makarov said. Once more, the decision became Mercury's.
"But, Master –"
"He's right," the short man interrupted Mira. "We have little knowledge of what's happening, so it should be his decision."
Mercury wasn't sure if he should be irritated or glad that Makarov defended him. On one hand, yes, there really was no other way, and on the other hand, it sounded like he was being blamed for not telling them this would happen when he had no idea, either.
It was a quick decision to ignore the implications and move on. In fact, the whole situation was over far too quickly for how dramatic it had been moments ago.
The process itself was incredibly anticlimactic, too. Bixlow helped Mercury hobble over to Anemone, who stilled slightly in his thrashing the moment he got close; he wasn't sure if it was because his presence was soothing the boy's mind or because he was desperately fighting back against the control, and it didn't matter in the end because the flailing started back up shortly after.
It hurt Mercury's chest a lot more than he thought it would to see the kid like that. Perhaps it was because he had been in that exact same position so many times before and had no one to help him, or maybe it was just the normal reaction at seeing a kid so obviously lost and confused – a kid without control of his mind and body. His throat felt like it swelled up even more at the sight.
"Anemone," he said gently – far more gently than he thought possible given the situation. "Can you hear me?"
All he got in response was a growl.
"If you can hear me, give me a sign. Blink, snap – come on, anything." It felt like he was begging the boy for any sort of sign that he was at least mentally aware of what was happening even if his body was reacting like an animal, but he got nothing.
Nothing at all.
Mercury felt empty.
He pursed his lips, genuinely angry for the first time in weeks. He could accept what had been done to him – it sucked, but he was an adult; he could think logically about it, could work through it in due time. It wasn't unreasonable to say he could get over it eventually.
But Anemone was a kid. Who knew how this would affect him – both this control that was being forced over him and the control Mercury was going to exert right after.
Fuck.
Again, it was anticlimactic, and almost exactly like what had happened at the docks. "I'm gonna put you to sleep for a little bit, okay? Last chance to tell me you're in there, Anemone."
The kid's body stuttered, but all he did was make one last desperate lunge for Mercury, trying to gouge out his eyes with his already blood stained fingernails. Whether or not that was a result of the "command" he'd been given, Mercury would never know; all he could see was the way that Anemone's eyes were glassy and emotionless – like it wasn't even Anemone in there anymore.
Fried grabbed the boy by the wrists, holding him back just as the water mage gathered his own authority to himself as though it were magic. Just as he did at the docks, an acrid smile stitched itself on his face.
"Have a good rest, Anemone," Mercury said, reaching out to touch the boy's forehead. "I'll see you when you wake up."
And just like that, Anemone's body slumped in Fried's grip, eyes shut. The Rune Mage gently picked him up as though he had lots of practice with it, grabbing under Anemone's shoulders and lifting him from the ground despite the red lines of blood on his wrists.
"I'll take him upstairs," he said, a very distinct look of sadness on his face.
Mercury didn't miss the way Fried's eyes flicked to him as though looking for permission, so he nodded. The movement felt limp, like he was hardly in control of his own body.
He, too, slumped back into Bixlow's grip, suddenly exhausted. He could still feel the aftershocks of the power exerted on his body; Mercury's hands trembled fiercely and his legs felt like some fucked up version of jelly. It was even hard enough to keep his eyes open, though he knew he had to.
Not for the first time, he owed everyone an explanation.
Bixlow, with gentleness that was far more surprising than even Fried's, guided Mercury to a table rather than the bar; the area they'd been sitting at just minutes ago was now covered in blood and a fair bit of vomit – which in the end was more like bile than anything substantial.
Mira quickly got to work with treating the wound on Mercury's hand. Her face was pressed and tense; it wasn't hard to tell that she was angry and upset, but she still dutifully got to pulling out shards of glass from his palm even as the wound itself looked to be attempting to close up.
'Attempting,' because it would start to stitch itself closed only to stutter. This was Mercury's limit.
Despite his earlier statements, Makarov remained quiet, slowly padding over to the table that they'd begun to gather around. "What happened?"
"I was right," Mercury said grimly. "Unfortunately. Someone's taken control of that thing."
It was immediately clear to everyone nearby what "that thing" was; there was only one being he'd talk about with such an intense hatred, and that was the one that had birthed him – created him.
"What the hell was that?" Mira prodded. "You were fine one moment, and then – and then you couldn't even hear me. What the hell was that?" Her words got more barbed the more she talked, either out of frustration or anger. The woman didn't even look up at Mercury as she carefully finished pulling out the last shard of glass, wrapping the hand in tape so tightly that he could hardly feel the limb.
Or maybe he couldn't feel it because his fingertips on that hand had become tinged with a light gray pallor, too.
"Do you remember that guy you saw at Alchemist?" he asked quietly.
"How could I forget?"
"He stole that dragon's power and is using it to control my siblings."
The sentence hung in the air for more than a moment. No one knew what to say – no one even knew what was being said, because how was that possible? How did one just steal power? Moreover, how did one steal power and then use it to control something else?
But it made sense, too, because Mercury's magic – his soul – was very clearly linked to the being that created him. Really, it wasn't an entirely unreasonable conclusion to come to; whoever controlled the source of his power would have at least partial control over him, too.
It was the rest of what he said that seemed heavy.
"How certain are you of this?" Makarov pressed, looking mildly perturbed at the thought. Hadn't it been him to assure Mercury that everything would be fine?
"I'm certain of it. Just – fuck, I can't believe someone could do something so stupid. I just, I can't –" Mercury cut himself off. Despite his quickly rising panic, his heart rate remained a slow, steady normal as though nothing was out of the ordinary, which made him dizzy.
"It's okay. Slow everything down," Evergreen murmured. "I know you didn't trust us to handle Anemone, but we can take care of everything else. You can trust us."
He snapped – or cracked, or shattered, or however you wanted to put it; the tension in his body just suddenly disappeared, leaving him feeling like a wet rag. Everything that had been building up in his chest, the rage, the fear, the anxiety, faded as though it had never been there in the first place, putting a hole deep in his stomach.
"I do trust you all – more than I trust myself, even," he said. Mercury's voice trembled. "But it wasn't something that can be fixed by humans. It wasn't even something that could be fixed by me – I don't even know if he'll be okay when he wakes up, or when he'll even wake up at all."
The water mage slumped even further into his chair, his head in his singular working hand. Nobody around him said anything as it looked like he was going to fold in on himself, the pressure of once again being the only one to make it through an ordeal pressing down on his shoulders like it was the weight of the sky.
He just wanted all of this to end, one way or another.
"This isn't something I can handle by myself either," Mercury admitted after a second. "I… I can't imagine fighting that thing. I don't think it's possible." For him, or for anyone else.
"You don't have to," Makarov said. "There's no shame in having to turn away from your past."
"Just say it as it is, Master. I'm running, and I keep relying on you guys to stop it from catching up with me." Mercury was very nearly crying, but he had told himself he wouldn't do that anymore; tears did nothing for anybody.
Still, he couldn't stop himself from sniffling a little bit.
… Just a little bit.
Bixlow cleared his throat. For once, his dolls were nearly silent, keeping the room's mood as it was. "Well, duh," he said, as though it were obvious, "what kind of friends would we be if we let you get swamped by that mess?"
There was a brief beat of silence. Then, Bixlow squealed loudly; Mercury's head snapped up at the noise to see the man dancing away from Evergreen, who had apparently pinched underneath Bixlow's armor.
"What he means to say," she huffed, glaring intensely, "is that we were never going let you face that stuff by yourself. We've always had your back."
"The past has a way of looming over your shoulder no matter how much you try to ignore it," Makarov agreed. "It gets tiring always having to watch your own back."
Even Mira nodded. She looked less upset with the situation, even going so far as to put a comforting hand on Mercury's shoulder as though to say that they were all in agreement on the matter, though she remained silent. With her, it felt almost complete – the only thing they were missing was one nosy Dragon Slayer.
Oh, god. Laxus was going to freak when he found out what happened.
Mercury let out a choked half-laugh, half groan as he realized that Laxus wasn't going to let him out of his sight for the foreseeable future, which was almost enough to break him out of his self-imposed sadness. Here he was, one foot literally in the grave – Mercury wasn't sure he could even feel the toes on his left foot anymore – and he was worried about whether or not someone a fifth of his age was going to let him go to the bathroom on his own.
It was all… just so stupid.
Everything was just so stupid, and Mercury was the most stupid of them all.
He hated the thought of seeing his old family again, of mixing these two worlds together, and yet all of these people around him were correct; no matter how far he ran or tried to hide from it, his past was part of himself. He wouldn't be there if not for the things that had pushed him to run away. He wouldn't be here if not for the things that had hurt him. He wouldn't be here if not for the family who rejected him.
He wouldn't be here without those people he hated, and so he owed them one last thing.
A proper, final goodbye.
Whether or not he was going to see more of those cursed children of the sea was no longer in his hands. It all depended on what that man's plan was, and what role Mercury himself had to play in it; odds were that he was going to see the brothers he hated and the "Mother" who had been tormenting him all this time, but the friends surrounding him, again, were right – he didn't have to run from it any longer. This was the one way he could truly be free – by facing what he had been running from.
And he couldn't do it alone. What sort of shonen bullshit was this? Power of Friendship? Deus ex Machina? Mercury had never heard of any of those things, let alone relied on them, and yet here he was, a deep breath welling into his chest as he prepared to ask them for just one thing.
"Alright," he said, still tired and sore and suffering from the aftereffects of someone attempting to control his body. His head hurt. His mind was hazy – and yet somehow it was perfectly, astonishingly clear what he had to do.
"Please, everyone, help me end all of this."
Soon, one way or the other, things would be over.
.
.
.
His condition rapidly declined after that.
Perhaps it was a long time coming. Mercury had been feeling the "end" slowly creeping up on him in the form of a slowly increasing numbness and the constant heat that seemed to thrum through his body, so it wasn't particularly a surprise to anyone when it became hard to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. Of course, to say anyone expected it would have been a lie, too; he'd been relatively fine in the last few weeks, all things considered. He was eating fine and save for the fact he couldn't use a quarter of his body, there's been little to no indication that he was suffering from anything at all.
But something about this whole situation had pushed him over an edge he didn't even sense himself balancing on in the first place, which, to put it simply, sucked.
Massively.
Especially when it apparently meant nobody would leave him the hell alone.
"I can use the bathroom by myself, asshole," Mercury huffed, attempting (though not very strongly) to push Laxus back into the hallway. "Stop trying to follow me – it's fucking creepy."
And it was getting them odd stares, which Mercury usually wouldn't care about. The only reason he did now was because Evergreen kept trying to insinuate things whenever rumors like that reached her ears, which was way more than he could handle at the moment.
Explaining… was just exhausting. Almost as much as literally everything else was.
"Do I look like I trust you to be alone for more than thirty seconds?" Laxus asked in exchange.
"You look like you're going to tie me up and throw me in your attic at this rate."
"Don't tempt me."
Mercury threw his hands up – one of his hands up in a pathetic show of surrender, though Laxus didn't look like he believed him for a second.
And that's because Laxus didn't believe him for a second. Still, Mercury gave him one last half hearted glare before he managed to shut the door in the man's face, and surprisingly, Laxus allowed him to do so.
The water mage recalled long ago when Erza proclaimed him a terrible liar, and he once again realized that she was right. It was clear that he wasn't doing the best at hiding the small things piling up on his shoulders because he caught Laxus staring at him with eyes that were more worried than strictly necessary more and more often.
Mercury thought that it was rather fitting (in an ironic sense) that the man who had once abandoned him now refused to leave his side. He never thought he'd see the day that Laxus Dreyar was openly worried about someone, and yet here Mercury was trying to shake him off, not for the first time in several days. It felt like everywhere he went, the blonde followed dutifully behind.
Honestly, it felt a bit stifling, but Mercury didn't actively hate it, so…
(If he were more honest with his feelings, Mercury might even call it nice. It was cozy, a firm reminder that he was home.)
He finished his business as quickly as he was able, though it was admittedly a bit harder than usual with how terrible his sense of balance was becoming, and opened the door to see the man standing in the exact same position he'd been in when the door closed – arms crossed, a look of minor disbelief on his face.
"I am so happy to see your confidence in me," Mercury said. "Would you like to hold it for me next time?"
The younger man looked disgusted, and Mercury knew that if he wasn't literally walking towards death anyway, Laxus probably would have punched him right then and there.
"You're disgusting."
"Guilty. Showering is hard these days."
Laxus wrinkled his nose. "You're doubly disgusting. How the hell did I put up with you for so long?"
Neither of them bothered to answer the question. Instead, Laxus allowed his slightly shorter friend to lean on him until they could make it back into the guild's main hall.
Again, if anyone found this particularly strange or out of character, no one commented on it – either out of disinterest, normalcy, or terror of the man who fought a Wizard Saint and won. Mercury, at least, had the excuse that he probably would die if he was injured at all, but the rest of the guild? They were nowhere near so lucky, and Laxus Dreyar was still a terrifying man even when he was being used as a crutch.
… even though Mercury was quickly coming to the conclusion that the man didn't mind it much, either.
The guild's main hall had become something of a mess the past couple of days; while Mercury's sudden declaration that something big was coming from the ocean didn't hold much weight on its own, what did hold weight was how fishermen were suddenly coming back with zero fish and the ocean was almost dead silent. Not even beasts were present, and seafaring birds were far more hesitant to make their journeys – a fact that was demonstrated by the fact that many of the houses in Magnolia had become impromptu nests for said animals.
If that didn't signify some large change at sea, Mercury wasn't sure what was. Humans weren't the most observational creatures, but animals were far more in tune to the natural order of the world.
… Or something like that.
So, instead of partying as they usually would, a large portion of the guild's active space had been taken up by maps of Magnolia – maps that were currently underneath piles of small figurines, each representing a member of the guild and carefully crafted by Laki. Currently, people were arguing over hypotheticals, with the guild being sorted into two main factions: the brains and the brawn. Those who wanted to come up with an actual plan, and those who wanted to literally fight the ocean.
Unexpectedly, the groups were about equal; Levy spearheaded those who wanted to come up with a plan, while the ones who rushed headlong into the potential fight had no leader – they were prepared for a free for all to decide who would be able to get first hit, which… honestly, Mercury found funny.
He never thought he'd laugh in this situation, but as always, the guild had a funny way of proving him wrong.
Was it somewhat disturbing that they were treating this like a game? Yeah, but it was also reassuring in a really dumb way. How could he be worried when they were acting like fighting a literal force of nature and the dragon that controlled it was well within Fairy Tail's average everyday antics?
It was exasperating, and yet everything felt the tiniest bit lighter.
"So, like, do we even know that they're coming to Magnolia first?" Gray asked. Surprisingly, he was on the side of the planners. "Wouldn't Hargeon be a better target if they're planning to do any real damage?"
"Well, we don't even know what their goal is in the first place," Laki pointed out. "Maybe there's something that they really, really need here. Like, we're in possession of the last piece they need for world domination or something!"
"That's a bit… out there, isn't it?" Lucy muttered. Mercury agreed – Laki was probably quoting something from the last novel she'd read.
"My gut's telling me that they're comin' here!" Natsu proclaimed as his fist caught fire, casting the room in a bright orange glow.
And no one could argue with Natsu's gut, so a chorus of mutterings broke out.
"That still doesn't answer why they would come here," Evergreen said. She turned to Mercury, who was expecting it. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"
"Probably… because I'm here?" he offered unhelpfully. He really didn't know – the only thing he was certain of was the fact that they would be coming here.
He didn't even understand his siblings in the first place, let alone why that man who was working for Furune was doing all of this. The obvious answer was revenge for something that humans did; Mercury couldn't rule that out, though it was still confusing why he had worked with said humans if that were the case. Then there was the fact that they had specifically sought out Mercury. Why bother when he was clearly able to get what he wanted without Mercury's…. Help? Without his body? Without his something? Whatever the hell they'd gotten out of him.
"No offense dude, but they had like a hundred years to come find you," Gray huffed. "I don't really see why they'd change their minds now."
Mercury made a disappointed noise that he wasn't sure he was capable of making. For some reason, Gray's bluntness reminded him of the words he'd told himself many, many times back when he was a child, back during a time when all he wanted was for them to want him. "Ah. Yeah, that's right…"
Then again, he now hated every member of his supposed family. Save Anemone, he supposed, who was still asleep in the guild's infirmary and had been for several days now.
"Look, now you've made him sad!" Levy proclaimed. "Erza, hit him!"
"Hey, what did I–"
The metallic clang of armor hitting skin rang out, somehow louder than all of the quiet murmurs together as Erza listened to Levy's request without protest. The black haired man crumpled to the ground after a quick, cut off shout of surprise.
And Mercury, despite himself, laughed.
It was a small sound, barely audible among the babbling of the group in front of him, and yet everything seemed to go quiet afterwards as people listened to the noise. Even Laxus stiffened at the noise, and Mercury, at the sudden movement of his crutch, froze with him.
"What? Haven't heard me laugh before?" he teased, not sure what else to do.
"Not in for quite a while," Erza admitted. Her hand was still outstretched as though to strangle Gray, and yet it was undeniable that her attention was almost fully on Mercury. "Admittedly, you've been a rather scarce target of late, but it's nice to see. Looking like you're depressed doesn't quite suit you."
For some reason, that made his chest hurt a little bit.
"Yeah, right?" Evergreen broke in, puffing out her chest. "Mercury's much more beautiful when he's smiling."
… He wasn't sure what was more appalling – the fact that Evergreen was still acting like his appearance was the most important part of him, or the fact that she'd actually agreed with Erza. If that wasn't a staggering feat that meant pigs would be flying through the Magnolia skies come morning, he wasn't sure what was.
"Is that all you have to say, Ever? That he's pretty?" Bixlow pointed out in a rare moment of sanity, or something to that degree.
In response, the woman began to pout. "I'm just saying that he looks way better when he doesn't look like a lost little kid. Is that so hard to understand?"
"Hey, that's kinda –" Mercury tried to defend himself – because at this point, all he had was the small shred of pride he held close to his chest that Evergreen was liable to destroy at this rate – but Lucy cut him off.
Just when had she become so bold?
"Right now, doesn't he just look like he should be in the hospital?" She asked, much to the water mage's chagrin. "He's all… pale. Merc, you look like a ghost."
"I –"
"He's been looking like that for the last six years, Lucy," Macao pointed out as he gave the man a pointed stare. They'd had arguments before this in the past, and his judgemental eyeballs told Mercury he hadn't forgotten about it. "At this point, we'd have an easier time if we tried to tie him down and force him to rest instead of being out here with all these kids trying to plan."
"Too bad there's no one who can put him to sleep for some unknown amount of time," said Wakaba with an exaggerated sigh. "I suppose a hit to the head would work just as well."
"Please don't –"
This time, it was Laxus that cut him off, startling Mercury, who hadn't expected the man to speak at all. "If that would have worked, I'd have tried it a long time ago."
"Hey, traitor," Mercury hissed. "If you tried to knock me out now, I'd probably just die – you don't know how to control your strength at all."
"I know how to control my strength. I just don't control it when I'm hitting you," Laxus whispered back, equally as hushed. Mercury wasn't sure if anyone else heard him, but they certainly seemed to find the quiet voices funny because a wave of light chuckles broke out from the group.
Just moments ago, Levy was scolding Gray for making Mercury upset… Now, she easily joined in on the laughter.
A bunch of traitors – all of them.
(And yet he wouldn't have it any other way.)
"Very funny," he grumbled, "but wouldn't it be better to focus on Natsu, who's trying to destroy all your little models, than me, who is just standing here?"
"Huh?" Laki violently whipped around to see just that – Natsu, standing with the small wooden statue shaped as Erza in a death grip, apparently about to light it on fire.
"Gah – Merc, traitor, don't rat me out! Uh, Laki, I was just gonna, you know, play around with it."
As if he could convince anyone that he wasn't planning something nefarious with the wicked grin on his face moments ago. The guild's attention immediately turned, and once more, the argument between the "planners" and the "fighters" broke out in full force. Laki lunged for Natsu, who in turn stepped back right into Lucy, toppling her over; the blonde then grabbed for her keys and whipped out the one belonging to Like, and the rest was history.
"You sure are good at riling them up," Laxus commented dryly. "If only you could get them to settle down, too."
"You're telling me that? Didn't you start an entire battle royal while trying to –"
"Shut up, Merc."
Mercury smiled, remembering this sort of banter quite fondly. Though the stupid "Battle of Fairy Tail" had been incredibly distressing at the time, almost eight full years had passed since then, and now he could recall the event through the lens of affection.
After all, if they hadn't fought then, Mercury probably wouldn't be standing here now, and Laxus definitely wouldn't be anywhere near Magnolia.
But he couldn't just be quiet after being told to shut up, so the water mage's grin became even larger, except his head started spinning, and he was forced to lean more heavily on Laxus's shoulder. The noise and the heightened emotions in the room must have made him dizzy; he let out a pathetic little noise that sounded like a cat being strangled, and hunched over into Laxus's grasp.
"Take it easy," the man said with uncharacteristic gentleness. "You're pushing yourself too hard."
"This much… should be normal," Mercury argued. "Can't keep falling asleep right now."
"And pushing yourself is going to just keep making you sleep more. Seriously, am I the only one here with a sense of self-preservation?"
Mercury cut out a laugh that felt like he was choking. "I think we've known for a long time that I'm not normal in the head."
Laxus sighed, then helped the water mage off to the side, where a chair had been set out as though specifically for him. In fact, it likely had been prepared just for Mercury; it was right next to the bar and oriented so that he could see everything that was going on. A glass of water rested on the countertop.
Mira stood next to it. She looked a bit uncomfortable – the two of them hadn't spoken much since he'd put Anemone to sleep – but still tried her best to smile, anyway.
"Can you two cut it out already?" Laxus asked while exaggeratedly rolling his eyes. "Stop acting like you're little kids who can't have a proper conversation."
…. Was Mercury seriously getting that sort of advice from Laxus of all people?
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Mira said without making eye contact with Mercury. In fact, she was glaring at Laxus with rather intense eyes, given the situation – like she'd already had this conversation once before and was tired of it.
"Oh, come on," the Lightning Dragon Slayer huffed. "Despite what you two might think, I'm not stupid. Are you really going to have an argument right now, of all times? Mira, at least wait to get upset until you can properly hit him."
"Are you trying to set a death flag for me?" Mercury asked dryly.
Laxus scowled. "Don't even bring that crap up. I'm not trying to jinx you – I'm just tired of you two acting like you haven't known each other for, what, twelve years? Just get over yourselves."
Mercury wasn't sure exactly what he was "getting over," but he at least knew what Mira was upset about, and he even understood what she was feeling. After all, he felt the exact same. It was the same thought that had been lingering in the back of his mind since the day with Anemone: Did exerting the same sort of force on his younger brother that his siblings had once used on him make him the same as them?
And from Mira's perspective – Was there any other way around it?
There was no definitive answer, but the one he'd come to from personal experience was a solid "no," and it didn't seem like she was willing to accept that. The always-kind Mira had already begun to view Anemone as yet another younger sibling among the guild; seeing the boy thrashing around like that, having clearly lost his mind either temporarily or even permanently, had probably disturbed her greatly. The far more disturbing factor, however, was probably the fact that Mercury technically had the ability to do the same.
Though she'd bandaged his hand that day with gentle, practiced movements, she'd hurried off rather quickly as soon as he asked for help, and that… kind of hurt. It was as though she thought he wanted to use that ability. Though Mercury still hadn't quite accepted Anemone as "family," he still wouldn't wish what he'd experienced on anyone; in fact, he abhorred himself for even having to use it in the first place.
It was just another reminder that he was the same as the siblings he hated.
"Do you want me to go wake him?" Mercury asked, suddenly doubting his own resolve. "I can do it."
Mira hesitated, then shook her head; it was such a small movement that it was nearly imperceptible, and yet he saw it as clear as day. "What would that do to him?"
"I don't know." It was the truth; Mercury had no idea whether the boy was going to be alright when he eventually woke up on his own, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out – in fact, the very idea of it filled him with dread.
What if, by his own actions, Anemone's mind was now irreparably damaged? What if he wouldn't even wake up in the first place?
What if, when he did wake up, the boy looked at Mercury the same way that he looked at his siblings?
"My siblings used to do that to me a lot," he said a couple of moments later. "That's how I knew how to snap out of it. I don't know when I learned it, but self-inflicted pain is the best way to wake yourself up. Anemone… doesn't know that."
"Do you wish he did?" Mira asked.
"No," Mercury said truthfully. "It took me a long time to get out of the habit of trying to do that whenever I felt like I wasn't in control of myself – when I was overwhelmed or feeling lost. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
Mira paused for a beat before she asked another question. "Do you think you did the right thing?"
"I think it was the only thing that anyone could do." He didn't even think as he said it, because it was the most true statement he'd made in his whole life.
Given the choice, he'd do it again. Even if Anemone saw him as he did Mother, Mercury would do it again in a heartbeat just so that the kid would never have to experience losing himself to someone else's control.
Mira gave a big, heavy sigh. Her shoulders slumped downwards as she rested her arms on the bartop. "Alright."
"Alright? Alright what?"
"I believe you. You wouldn't have done that unless you thought it was in his best interests. Laxus is right – we've both known you for long enough to know you're not the type of person to do that sort of thing on a whim."
Beside Mercury, Laxus didn't give any indication he was even listening, though they both knew he could hear what they were saying. It was like he was giving them some space to talk things out… without leaving Mercury's side, of course.
The water mage released a breath he hadn't noticed himself holding. "Yeah. I'll get on my knees and ask for forgiveness when he wakes up."
If he wakes up – and if Mercury was in any sort of state to ask for forgiveness by then.
"I don't think he'll need your apologies." Though Mira didn't quite smile, her presence seemed a lot less heavy now that the tense words had been dispensed with. "He'll understand. Sometimes, older siblings have to make tough decisions."
"I hope I don't have to make one like that ever again."
"You won't. We'll make sure of it."
Startled by her confidence, Mercury flinched. Taken from anyone else, it might have seemed like a threat, but from her, it was a declaration of support – a declaration that they would fix things, with or without his help.
That soon, things would be alright.
Mercury wanted nothing more than to believe her – and surprisingly, when he thought about it, he found that he did. More than anything else, he believed in the Mira that believed in him.
With all of his heart, he believed in the Fairy Tail that declared they would save him.
"Alright," Laxus clapped his hands together. "Glad to hear you two have made up, but unfortunately, I'm taking this asshole to get some rest."
"What the fuck are you on about? I'm fine."
"Yeah, you're fine now, but you've got about ten minutes until you pass out again, and I'm already sacrificing my pride for you – I'm not going to carry you piggyback on top of that."
Mercury made a face. "Then don't."
"Not happening. Get up, or I'm going to drag you."
"You just said you weren't gonna – hey, wait! Wait, asshole." Laxus grabbed Mercury's wrist and forcefully lifted him up, bringing the limb around his shoulders so that he didn't fall to the ground immediately. The movement had him nauseous – though that wasn't really much of a surprise these days. "Can you give me a little warning next time?"
"I gave you plenty of warning. Now, come on. Unlike you, I have important things to do," the Dragon Slayer huffed.
Mercury was startled to realize that the man had brought him over to the bar for the express purpose of making sure he made up with Mira, which was surprising because Laxus had always had the emotional maturity of an angry fourteen year old. How had he even known that she was upset with him? How had he known what she was upset about?
"When did you get so goddamn pushy about Mira?" he found himself asking.
Laxus laughed. It wasn't a good laugh, but it wasn't bad, either. "When did I get so goddamn pushy? Man, have you looked at yourself recently? Haven't you been pushing your feelings onto the rest of us since you got back?"
Oh, Laxus was mad – but not mad in the normal sense. It sounded more like he was just at his limit for bullshit, which…
Yeah, not surprising in the least.
Mercury gave Mira a small wave as he allowed himself to be led out of the guild's main doors. Her smile was enough for him to believe that she'd forgiven her, and so his chest felt a lot less heavy.
"I know I'm an idiot," he said right into Laxus's ear. "Haven't you already told me that at least ten times?"
"It deserves repeating. You're an idiot – a full blown incompetent idiot who'd rather bottle his feelings up than tell his friends who can help him."
"In my defense," Mercury coughed, "I didn't think I was helpable."
"An idiot and a cynicist," Laxus said. Though he was grabbing at Mercury's numb, useless arm, he could have sworn he felt the man's grip get the slightest bit tighter.
"Careful, or Erza's gonna chase you down for upsetting me. You saw what she did to Gray."
"And if Erza agrees with me?"
Mercury swallowed hard. In a pathetic attempt to change the subject, he said, "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you."
When Laxus remained silent for a couple of seconds, Mercury thought he'd said something wrong. He thought that this was what finally pushed the Dragon Slayer to realize that he really was as dumb as everyone had been telling him he was, that it was no longer just a joke.
Instead, Laxus said, "Don't you remember what you said to me at Fantasia?"
"Huh?"
"I know it's been longer for you than for me, and a whole lotta stuff's happened in between then and now, but you're not the type to forget that kind of thing – you're the type to hold onto that crap so you can say 'I told you so,' later, aren't you?"
The two paused in the middle of the street, now bathed in evening light; instead of bright yellow, Laxus's hair became a vivid orange, and Mercury's gray scales appeared more of a gentle red.
"I said a lot of things that day," the water mage said. "Forgive me for not knowing what you're referring to."
Laxus sighed and continued to trudge along in the direction of his house. "You said that no one saw me as an extension of the old man because they were too busy hating me."
"Yeah, I think I said that," Mercury admitted. All he could remember of the time now was a brutal fistfight – one without magic or weapons, just two men slugging it out while trying to get their thoughts across to the other.
"You did. There's no way I'd forget – you fucking punched me in the nose as you said it."
"What's your point?" Urgh, he was realizing now that Laxus was right; he was getting tired, and soon, Mercury would be far too sleepy to even hold a conversation. At least they were almost home.
(Just when had Laxus's house become home?)
"Isn't the reverse also true?" Laxus asked. "People see you as part of the guild because they love you, and if you keep pushing them away, they're just going to try harder."
Really, Laxus was now preaching to him about love? What sort of parallel world was this? Had Mercury somehow been transported to Edolas again?
… He could laugh at it as much as he wanted, but he was still embarrassed. The water mage turned and looked away to try – and fail – to hide the blush hitting his cheeks. "I don't know how that's the opposite of what I said."
"Doesn't matter. Don't ignore what I said – when are you going to accept that this stupid guild cares for you a lot more than you do?"
Mercury stayed silent. So did Laxus. They traveled like that for what felt like a long time, with one man practically carrying the other all the way through Magnolia's nearly-empty streets.
Only when they had reached their house – because yes, it was their house, their home – did the water mage say anything else.
"I've known that for a long time, I think," he said softly, refusing to look anywhere near Laxus. "It's a hard thing to accept."
"It is," Laxus agreed.
It was a ridiculously tough thing to accept – that someone could love him far more than he loved himself, and moreover that that person was willing to go to lengths he couldn't even imagine just so that he would be safe. So that he would be happy.
In some cases, that was going too far; Mother did what she thought would make her children happy, and look how that had turned out. Mercury was dying. He could die tomorrow, and then what? Would he be happy? Would she be happy? Would any of them be happy?
No, he was certain that everyone would suffer, and it wouldn't just be himself and Mother. Fairy Tail would suffer, too. They'd suffer a life without him.
He wasn't dumb enough to think that they wouldn't even notice his death. Not anymore. Not after how far they'd come with him – how far they had dragged him forward, refusing to leave him behind, no matter what.
It was them that made him feel happy; it was them that made him feel loved.
And they deserved for him to give them some of that happiness back.
