Emma took a series of deep breaths as she neared the lakeside. She spied her mom sitting on a wooden bench.
She picked up her pace until she plopped down. She took another deep breath and let it out slowly.
"My mind is racing over what could possibly be going on - but can I say something first?"
Sharon tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. "Can…can it wait?"
With yet another deep breath, Emma shook her head. "I don't think it can. I just need to get this out - is that okay?"
The older woman fumbled with the hem of her shirt, her green eyes roaming amongst the lake, the trees, and the sky. She then looked back at her daughter.
"Sure. What do you want to say?"
"Well, I wanted to apologize for the way I snapped at you in the emergency room. You were only trying to help."
Sharon blinked. "You're…apologizing? But I was in the wrong."
Emma shook her head. "Come on, Mom - you were just trying to make the best of it."
With a groan, Sharon stood - and started to pace. She threw her hands in the air.
"And that makes this so much harder."
"Makes what so much harder?" Emma questioned as she stood. She planted her hands on her hips.
Sharon continued to pace. She ran her fingers over her face and through her hair. With a deep breath, she then stopped and faced her daughter.
She passed her the cell phone. "Because of this. Read it."
Emma furrowed her eyebrows - but did so nonetheless. As she scanned the words, she gasped and covered her mouth with her free hand.
The phone shook her hand - and tears poured down her cheeks. She wiped them away and took a deep breath.
"You're le…leaving me - again?"
Sharon sighed. "I couldn't even comfort you when your daughter was in the hospital! It's the first thing a mother learns, and I couldn't even manage that!"
"Is that what this is about? I already forgave you!"
"It's not just that, Emma. It's…it's everything - you just don't get it."
"I don't get it? You're running away because you're scared - because you've only ever had to look out for yourself."
Sharon stared at her, her hands planted on her hips. She threw one of them back into the air.
"Of course - I forgot who I was talking to."
"Where do you think I got it from?"
Emma then let out a breath. "Come on, Mom, you have to know that you can't run this time. You have too much to lose."
"Exactly - I never had any of that. What do you expect me to do?"
"To realize that this - " Emma gestured between the two of them, " - is enough of a reason to stop."
"I have tried, Emma. I have tried for seven years - but I can't do it anymore."
"You can say that all you want - but if you run, you will regret it."
"Maybe I will - but I don't see any other option. It's just too hard."
"That doesn't mean you can't stay."
Sharon stared at her, her arms crossed over her chest. The silence stretched between them.
She then let out a sigh. "Look, I'm just gonna make this easier and leave. I…hope you, Killian, and the kids have a safe trip back."
She paused. She opened her mouth - and then closed it. She shook her head and walked away.
But Emma stopped her in her tracks: "And what if I don't let you?"
Sharon turned back around. She took a breath and told her, "Look, Emma, I know how you must feel, and I truly am so, so sorry - but you understand better than anyone why I have to go."
"Because I spent years running from everything and everyone - to the point where I shut out the people who actually loved me. But they wouldn't let me - and I'm sure as hell not gonna let you."
"I know you believe that - and I know that you want to help - but my mind is made up."
Emma half-smiled. "Maybe - but I'll be here when you change it."
Sharon peered at her. "You don't give up, do you?"
The corners of her mouth fully upturned.
"Nope. Come on, you already know how deep that Newman stubbornness runs."
"So I do."
A smile tugged at her mouth - before it faded back into a straight line.
"Emma, you're setting yourself up for disappointment - I'm not coming back."
Tears pricked the corners of Emma's eyes. "Surely, this can't be the end. I mean, you're my mom."
"We both know I was never really cut out for that."
"And the orphan who built miles of walls around her heart is?"
Sharon groaned. "Ugh. We can't keep going around in circles, Emma. This is…goodbye."
She spun around and walked away - but not before Emma wrapped her in a crushing hug. The older woman hesitated before she hugged her back.
They stayed embraced until their arms grew tired. When they pulled away, Emma reached behind her neck and unclasped her necklace.
She passed the swan pendant to Sharon. "Here. You should have this."
She shook her head and waved her hands. "No, I wanted you to have it - that's why I sent it with you when you were a baby."
"I know - and it means a lot to me. But so do you - and you should have something to remember me by."
Sharon looked between her daughter and the necklace. She couldn't help but smile as she reached for the jewelry.
"You know, you make it pretty hard to argue with you."
Emma couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
She then shuffled on her feet as Sharon ran her fingers over the necklace. The older woman then spoke, "You know, I remember when Nick gave me this. It was a birthday present."
A small smile appeared on Emma's face. "Yeah, he told me - he also said it wasn't the easiest to track down."
"Which made it all the more thoughtful."
With a deep breath, she then continued, "As was your dad waiting until all our friends had left the party to give me the necklace. He played one of our favorite songs on the jukebox, and we shared a dance before he surprised me with it. I just remember thinking it was the best present I'd ever gotten."
Emma's smile grew. "You guys really were in love."
"It wasn't meant to be - but we were each other's first love. There was a time where I wanted to forget that part of my life, but…"
Sharon trailed off and shook her head. "Why am I even telling you any of this?"
"Because, Mom, deep down, you know that you want me in your life. Deep down, you know that running just isn't you anymore."
Sharon stared at her with wide eyes. She then sank back down on the bench and ran both hands through her hair.
"That doesn't mean I'm good at any of it. That I know - I mean really know - anything about being a mother."
She paused as her eyes welled with tears. "I'm never going to measure up to you."
Emma blinked. "Is that what this is really about? You're comparing yourself to me?"
"Not intentionally - but something just…snapped today. Just watching you with Anna Elizabeth when she had an allergic reaction. And then knowing it wasn't the first time it happened. You were scared - and you were questioning yourself - but you never once considered running. And then throw in the fact that she isn't even biologically yours - I just can't compete."
Sharon ran her fingers back through her hair. Emma sank down beside her and threw her arms around her. The older woman stiffened before she hugged her back.
When they pulled away, she questioned, "Okay, um, what was that for?"
Emma took a breath. "I never expected you to be perfect. And despite what you may think, I'm not either. We both had to learn to let people in, we had to learn to trust, and we had to learn to love - and all of that still rears its ugly head, even when we think we're okay."
Sharon took a deep breath of her own. "I…just wish I could be okay - that you didn't have to be put through this. You do deserve better."
A small smile made its way across Emma's features. "Pretty sure I told my mom that - and probably David. And also Killian at some point."
Sharon's expression remained stoic. "And you really want to do the same for me? After everything I put you through?"
"You already know my answer. The rest is in your hands, Mo…Sharon."
The older woman tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. She then shifted in her seat.
"I thought I would be…relieved - but I don't think I am."
Emma tilted her head in return. "So, what are you saying?"
"I…" Sharon began. She trailed off and started to pace once more. She walked round and round the bench.
She then stopped and gripped the back of it. "I…love being "Mom" - I love being part of…something. Our family. But…like you said, these…feelings rear their ugly heads - and I don't know that I won't be tempted to run again."
"Then, you know, we'll figure it out together." A smile then crossed her features.
Sharon only peered at her. She then took a breath. "I don't know that I deserve a second - or actually, third chance - but I'm glad you're still in my life."
With another deep breath, she then told her, "I truly am sorry, Emma. So, so sorry for putting you through this - and you've been nothing but gracious."
The blonde only shrugged. "I mean, I'm not gonna say it was easy - or that I didn't have to bite my tongue - but all I can think about are the chances people gave me. And I've got to give that to you."
Sharon wrapped her in a hug. Emma smiled once more as she squeezed her back. The older woman then spoke, "Thank you, Emma."
She nodded against her shoulder before they pulled away. With a deep breath of her own, she offered, "So, I'm thinking we head back to you and Dylan's and maybe play more catch up and tell stories?"
"That sounds wonderful. I can't wait. I'm sure you have tons."
Emma couldn't help but giggle. "Killian's actually the storyteller - most of them revolving around sailing or just being on the water. I always joke that he was a pirate in a past life."
Sharon laughed. "I'm sure it keeps Liam entertained. And probably Anna Elizabeth too."
"Oh, they love it - and Anna Elizabeth has gotten pretty good at it herself. I'll have to get her to tell one when we get back."
"Looking forward to it."
The pair settled into easy conversation as they began walking toward the car. Almost as if fear and insecurity hadn't nearly blown them both up.
And as they made their way home, Sharon glanced over at her daughter. At times, the word still sounded foreign - but in her heart, she knew she had what she always wanted.
Home.
A/N: And that's a wrap! I hope y'all enjoyed it! Until next time, my lovelies! :)
