Coming back to look at the fandom after nearly a decade, I was shocked to find so little Inuyasha/Kikyo fics, the relationship the entire series' backstory is built on. Even trying to sort through Ao3's tag was difficult, given how many fics use them as sparepairs while all the meat is about Sesshomaru/Kagome or something. Here's my little drop into this unfortunately dry well. The story takes place sometime between volumes 20 and 24, with just a little bit of retconning. Hope you enjoy.
Kikyo's body felt wrong.
The bones were still there. They had all been laid out in the correct places. What passed for muscles moved as they properly should. Walking, running, jumping, and shooting arrows were as natural to her now as when she had been alive.
Her skin felt the same as it had. Smooth and squishy. Her hair was as long and silky as it always had been. It brushed out just as easily as it had fifty years ago. The one bit of vanity she was allowed as a miko.
But the rest of her was earth and dust, fused together by the souls of the dead. Hunger and thirst did not trouble her. When she was cut, she did not bleed. When she was mortally wounded, she did not die. All she now required were the souls of dead women, and the holes in her body would eventually seal shut. Her aches would dissipate.
But her sense of emptiness would remain.
Still, Kikyo kept marching on. Though her body was a twisted parody, she still had to fulfill her duty to purify the Shikon Jewel. To save the world from the destruction it brought. To avenge herself and her lover. To set right what was wrong.
It would all be worth it, if she could finally purify the jewel and destroy Naraku. Her two great failures would be wiped away from the earth, and Kikyo would finally be free.
But free to do what, a treacherous little voice asked. Once you have your freedom, what shall you do with it? Surely you will not walk back into your grave. After her life was stolen so unjustly, she deserved more time on this earth.
Should couldn't imagine herself continuing her wanderings across Japan. Even as clay, her feet grew weary after stumbling into so many battlefields.
Nor could she bring herself to return to her village. To how much everything had changed, how much everything had stayed the same…
And then there was Kaede.
Kikyo hadn't lingered after meeting her sister again. To see her little sister all grown up and now an elderly woman…to think of her dying from old age…
It was too much to comprehend. That left one other option. One she always found her mind drifting to in quiet moments. Something that made her earthen heart beat as it once did. A dream that had turned into a nightmare, before becoming something stranger.
Inuyasha had promised to marry her, once upon a time. Even after fifty years, when she weaved her spell and attempted to drag him down to hell, he still embraced her. Surely he would accept her again, now that Naraku's betrayal was revealed. Even if he had found new friends. A new purpose. And a new, untainted version of herself. Free of all the baggage and pain her presence would bring. Not some misshapen golem, but a true, full blooded human—
No. They would just slow each other down. It was best if they both walked their own paths.
Kikyo felt another soul enter her clay body, its energy fueling her. The Soul Collectors swirled endlessly around her, seeming to have no other purpose than to serve her mission.
She took another step forward. Her journey was destined to be a lonely one.
Kikyo had been traveling north through a grassy field when Naraku appeared. It was afternoon, around the time shadows began to stretch. He stood before her, clad in a dark kimono and wearing the stolen face of the young lord.
He was plotting something, that much was certain. "What do you want, Naraku?" Kikyo asked in a clipped tone.
"To observe." He replied easily. "I wanted to see how you have changed in the past fifty years with my own eyes."
"What is there to see? I am still a priestess, and you are still a demon. Nothing has changed."
At that moment, a Soul Collector arrived with an eerie wisp of energy to deposit into Kikyo's clay body. As though fate was not done laughing at her.
Naraku gave an infuriating little smirk. "Really."
Kikyo ignored the urge to bristle. "It is plain to see. Even after decades of amassing power, you still hide behind lies and trickery." She took her bow, and poked Naraku's shoulder with the tip. The entire arm fell off, disintegrating into dust. "For all the jewel's power, you lack the strength to face me."
It was simultaneously grotesque and amusing to watch Naraku nonchalantly shrug. "Why go to the trouble of coming all this way when I can send a bit of magic to meet you? My castle is quite comfortable."
"Content to lay prone in your little hole." She could have laughed. "It is just as I say. At your core, you are still Onigumo."
"And you still bring me sustenance, even though you should know better." Naraku chuckled. "Have you found any more jewel shards for me, dear Kikyo?"
"I'm not sure which is more obnoxious, your wasps' buzzing wings or your own wagging tongue." She stepped past his construct. "Do not bother me again."
He waited until after she would have to turn around before he spoke next. "I slaughtered all of my human servants a few days ago."
Kikyo stopped, counted to three, and indulged the monster.
There was no particular inflection in his voice, and no real expression on his face. "With the Shikon Jewel's power, I no longer had need of them. I used their souls and flesh to birth incarnations that will slaughter even more of the insects."
Kikyo had never thought Naraku would have done such a thing. She had tended to his soldier's wounds when she first visited the castle. Cared for them after they went out to battle for their twisted master. They were just humans. They had no special skills or hidden powers. None of them suspected that their lord had become possessed by a demon. They served him faithfully and loyally.
It was everything a wretch like Onigumo would want. Surely, the status human lordship would bring would be enough to have sated his thirst for power, if only for a little while. It also granted him a shield against many other people trying to reassemble the jewel. One that was difficult for even the most powerful demons to pierce.
Once Naraku became a full demon, he would undoubtedly abandon them, slay them, sacrifice them. But Kikyo would have been able to purify him before it came to that. The Shikon Jewel had a habit of betraying its bearer the hour before they needed it most, in her experience.
And she had miscalculated. Badly.
Naraku continued, unperturbed. "I thought you should know your actions led to three hundred and twenty-six human corpses."
Kikyo did not glare at Naraku. He clearly wanted a reaction. "Do not pretend that you were not planning to do that the moment it convenienced you."
"And still, you did not even attempt to save them." Naraku made a tutting sound.
"Do not attempt to blame me for your actions." Kikyo rolled her eyes. "You had more than enough power with the fragments I gave you to do whatever you pleased without harming any humans. All your cruelty belongs to you and you alone."
"I'm sure that is a great comfort to all of my victims." Some darkness glinted in Naraku's eyes. "Are you planning to give them the same speech when you get to hell?"
It was a blatant provocation. He was trying to drag her down to his level, and make her wallow in his muck. It was the kind of fight men like Naraku amused themselves with as they pulled their prey apart, piece by bloody piece.
It was the same kind of taunting a helpless bandit once tried against Kikyo fifty years ago.
"You really haven't changed at all." Kikyo finally rewarded her tormenter with a genuine reaction: a short, mocking laugh. "You really are Onigumo at heart, even after all this time. To think, you had fifty years, and still haven't managed a moment of self reflection."
That finally seemed to put a crack in Naraku's armor. The subtle smirk that had found its way onto his face quietly fell, and his eyebrows knit together. Naraku's stolen aristocratic features masked his rage well, but not enough to fool Kikyo.
She pressed the attack. "I wonder if you know why you sent that Soul Collector to attack me after our last conversation. After the mere implication that your body still housed Onigumo's heart." The wind was starting to pick up, making the tall grass rustle. "You acted like a child, throwing the first monster you could think up against me. But the truth behind your actions is as plain as day."
Naraku made no response. "You are a fusion of that pitiful bandit and an army of demons. Your demon half should have outnumbered Onigumo a thousand souls to one. He should have been overwhelmed. Consumed by their collective will and hate, bent on seeing me destroyed." A Soul Collector landed on Kikyo's shoulder, infusing her with another wayward soul. "But that didn't happen."
Kikyo took a step forward. She could sense Naraku trying not to flinch. "Despite all that malice, all that hatred, you still cannot bring yourself to destroy me. Because it is the will of Onigumo that drives you forward. The small, insignificant, human."
Kikyo allowed herself a smirk. "How it must drive the inhuman half of you mad. To be weaker than a sad, lonely, little man. No wonder you are so desperate to become a full demon." Naraku's facade was faltering, she could feel it. "Because in the end, that is all you are. A pathetic little creature fully dependent on my mercy, surrounded by a pathetic gaggle of demons that could never hope to match me in battle." The wind began to howl. "And in fifty years of consuming humans and demons alike in the desperate scramble for power, fifty years of stealing face after face, you have not been able to change what you truly are."
Naraku's eyes flared. Kikyo felt the soul that she had just absorbed dissipate. It would fuel her body for the next few days. Without hesitation, she delivered her final blow. "Just another bandit, desperately reaching for something he will never have."
The wind roared one final time, lifting dust and pollen up into the air. Bits and pieces of Naraku's flesh were ripped away from his shoulder, dissolving into muddy earth. It looked as if he might explode, and use what little remained of his drone in a feeble attempt to harm her. To repeat his last performance in a more spectacular fashion.
And then he laughed.
It was a dark, cruel chuckle, reverberating through the air. Kikyo felt the sound trying to seep into her bones.
And in an instant, it ended.
"Your memory is flawed, miko." Naraku's voice was husky and smooth. Like he was drunk on victory.
Kikyo stood her ground. "And what is it I have missed?"
"Onigumo's heart did desire you, priestess. It still does, I grant you." Naraku smiled. It was a vicious, horrid expression. "But a very particular version of you. Twisted and broken. Full rage, hate, and all the little things that consume the hearts of all humans in these warring states." He paused to laugh again. It rang even colder in the night air. "And that desire is finally satisfied."
"You are deluded." Kikyo said as a chill crept through the dirt between her bones.
"Am I?" Naraku sneered. "You spent several minutes denying your actions. Denying that you let me bring suffering into the world. You masterfully bluffed your way through all the deaths you could have prevented, and ignored all the sins you committed to bring me power. It was a delight."
Kikyo's eyes narrowed. "All those murders are yours and yours alone!"
Naraku didn't miss a beat. "I know lords, criminals, and demons alike who would give the same answer." His grin widened impossibly. "And I know for certain Higurashi Kagome would never let such venom flow from her lips."
"Be silent." Kikyo growled.
"Nor would the Kikyo of old." Naraku's head tilted, and his stare morphed into a leer. "Not that I am complaining. Hate is such a pretty thing on your face—"
Naraku's other arm exploded in a blast of spiritual energy. Kikyo readied her next arrow, aiming for the bastard's smirk. "My conscience is clear. My spiritual power remains pure. Your words have no sway over me."
"Perhaps so." Naraku, of course, was completely unfazed. "But then again, don't be so certain that your arrow has only your power."
"More lies." But the arrow didn't leave her bow.
"My dear Kikyo, can't you see?" Naraku seemed to be trying to gesture, but without his arms, all he accomplished was spilling the dust that made him. "Like Onigumo, you are not human anymore. Just a collection of souls, fused to one purpose."
"I take no joy in my body's toll." Kikyo tightened her grip. "Once I have completed my task, I will set them free and return to my grave."
"I have a theory." Naraku wasn't paying attention to her at all. He seemed giddy. "That all the purity in your arrow comes entirely from your stolen souls." Overhead, the Soul Collectors chittered. "That deep down, you sensed that your heart has been forever twisted by bloody hate." He laughed again. "And that the reason you gave me the shards was because you wanted to blame me for your failure. If they stayed in your possession, the shards would blacken from your touch—"
The arrow let loose, and the puppet exploded, raining down dirt and gravel. Kikyo had heard enough.
What nonsense. Hatred had not affected her powers. And hatred for an evil like Naraku would never have an effect on her soul. She had sealed Inuyasha forever while bleeding to death when she thought he had stolen the jewel, and then brought the jewel along with her to the netherworld through sheer will. Hatred was of no concern—
"But it isn't hatred of me that you are worried about."
Kikyo reeled back as she fired another arrow behind her. She turned around just quickly enough to see Naraku's vile grin before he exploded.
"It is your lover's new pet miko, of course." A buzzing was slowly filling Kikyo's ears. She fired another arrow into another Naraku, who wore another hideous smirk that lingered even after his head exploded into a shower of dust.
"While your little sister has grown old and frail, while your home has grown strange and foreign, Inuyasha remains the same pitiful little pup you left him as." Kikyo fired again.
"Even after he failed to become human for you, you became more like a demon for him. Fate answered your prayer, and you are no longer cursed to grow old and wither before each other." Another arrow. Another puppet.
"But he doesn't need you now. His Kagome is better than you in every way. More patient. More tolerant. More pure. How it must drive you mad. Given immortality just in time to be replaced by a younger, pretty woman!" Again and again.
"And while his path remains just, you trail in my bloody wake! Your soul grows darker and darker to match my own!" He kept coming. She kept firing.
"I wonder, to what depths will you sink as you try to make up for your failures?" Naraku's laughter echoed between the buzzing of his insect's wings. "In the end, you do it all because you know Onigumo is the only one who can love the monster you are becoming!"
"ENOUGH!" Kikyo roared. A shield of spiritual energy formed around her, exploding outward, destroying any trace of demon energy it touched.
The clearing finally grew quiet. All that remained was Kikyo's panting breath, and the ghost of Naraku's laughter.
She wandered aimlessly. The plains turned to a forest, the forest gave way to a swamp, and the swamp slowly shifted into a well-worn road. Throughout it all, Kikyo did not meet another soul. Throughout it all, the Soul Collectors danced around her, depositing four new souls into her earthen flesh. Throughout it all, Kikyo could not escape the soft, shrill sound of hornet wings in the distance.
It wasn't true. It couldn't be. Kikyo didn't mean for any of those poor souls to die. She hadn't. Naraku had lied, like he always did. To get under her skin. The smokescreen of human lordship granted him too much protection against Inuyasha to discard so easily. Naraku wouldn't give up such an advantage this quickly.
But they he had. And they were all dead. She could sense it in her bones. And Kikyo was responsible for letting the monster who did it grow so bold.
And all she felt was numbness.
Was it true? Was her heart growing darker? In pursuing vengeance, in being raised from the dead, had she lost her humanity?
But that couldn't be true. Her spiritual power still felt like her own. Even before she had begun to grow weak and need the aid of the Soul Collectors, her spiritual powers had not faded. Nor did she make the souls she used suffer. As soon as their purpose was served, she would send them to their appointed afterlife. Even after the monk—
Kikyo stumbled along the dirt road. Inside her clay chest, a makeshift heart stopped dead.
The monk. He had attacked her. Tried to send her back before she was ready. He died for his efforts, pierced by his own spell. The same spell that she had repelled.
It wasn't her fault. She had no desire to kill the man, and hadn't meant to cause—to have him die. It was just another tragedy that fell in her wake. Just another cruel irony fate had thrown at her feet, just before she nearly killed her lover. It wasn't fair. She didn't—It wasn't—she had never meant to harm anyone. It was Naraku, scheming, plotting, making everything she ever touched turn to rotten—the jewel, her first death, Inuyasha—
But Kikyo was at the center of it all. Only her.
It was true. The monk had been right. As a wraith, she brought nothing but misery into the living world. What had she been thinking? Purifying the Jewel and Naraku in one fell swoop? The dead only brought death along with them. Fate would once again twist her mission into something horrible.
She should save the world so much grief and walk back into her grave. Kagome was with Inuyasha. She was untainted. Untouched by the evil of the world. She could purify the jewel after Naraku was slain. She could do anything Kikyo could. She could have everything Kikyo had ever wanted.
And Kikyo could rot away in the dirt, where she belonged. A warning to all who came after her of what arrogance looked like.
It was for the best. The natural course of things. She had already failed in her appointed task spectacularly. Any more effort on her part would bring an end to whatever normality was left in these lands. It was not like anyone would miss her. Kaede had said her goodbyes half a century ago. She didn't need a perversion running around and tainting her memories. Naraku might pause to appreciate the spite before returning to his plotting. And Inuyasha—
It was as Naraku said. She was just a bad memory. He had Kagome. He had a replacement. He didn't need her. He didn't want her. It was best if she just faded away. Quietly melted back into the earth that made her body, and troubled him no more—
"Kikyo?"
That voice. No, it couldn't be—
Her head turned. Inuyasha stood a few paces away, uncertainty and concern painted across his face. His hand stretched outward, but his fingers curled inward.
She barked out a laugh. It was too obvious. Too perfect. Too convenient. "It seems my torment is not finished." The gods were cruel, to give her such a fate. "Some phantom comes to plague me before the end."
Inuyasha blinked, once, twice. "...What the hell are you talking about?"
Kikyo paused, and reached out with her senses. Sure enough, that was Inuyasha's unique blend of Yokai.
Even better. Not content to give him a view of her as a twisted, vengeful parody of herself, fate now delivered him to her as she drowned in despair.
"Damnit, Kikyo…" Inuyasha steeled his face, and reached down to pull her up from the dirt she had collapsed into. "You're a mess. What happened?"
"I…" Kikyo shuddered as a long pent-up breath escaped her. "Naraku sought me out."
"What for?" Inuyasha's ears perked and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Did he hurt you?"
"No—" She pressed her lips together. "—That is, he didn't—" It felt like they were cracking. "—I will be fine."
Inuyasha stared at her intensely, but didn't push the subject.
Kikyo glanced around. She was near the top of a gentle grassy hill. Near the bottom was a small lake, with fireflies dancing about its shore. Far on the other side of the lake was a small, flickering light, too distant and stationary to be another insect. Undoubtedly where Inuyasha's companions had made camp.
A sudden urge to leave ran up Kikyo's spine.
"You look like shit." Inuyasha broke the silence with his usual tact. "When's the last time you slept?"'
"Perhaps a day." Or two. Or more. Her memories of the past few days were running together.
"Even the dead need rest. Get some sleep." Inuyasha commanded.
"Inuyasha, I am fine—"
"No you're not." He removed the top layer of his fire-rat robe and threw it over her shoulders. "Rest for a while. I'll make sure nothing bothers you."
Kikyo wanted to argue. But he was correct, she did need some respite. And the robes he had thrown around her still smelled—
Her nostalgia was acting up. But she was still a slave to it, for the moment. She laid down on the soft grass, and what little warmth her body needed was readily provided by the fire-rat robe. "...Thank you, Inuyasha."
"Keh." He grunted out as he lowered himself into a squat next to her. "Don't go wandering around the wilds without any sleep, idiot."
Soldiers. Servants. Samurai. Peasants. Officials. She saw their faces in a bubbling black pot, swirling together as all traces of humanity were stripped away from them, leaving nothing but clear, smooth skin melting together as blood overflowed and spilled onto the polished wood below.
A mass of giant, amorphous hands slowly reached out of the cauldron, reaching up to the heavens before descending downward, flowing into villages in a valley below. Small, little things scurried out of tiny huts as the hands grew mouths and swallowed them whole. Kaede stood on a hill, one second an old woman and the next a young girl. She fired arrows into the encroaching plague, each clattering uselessly to the ground. After they ate their fill in the little villages, the hands turned and began marching up the hill. Kaede, still young yet old, kept uselessly firing arrows into the darkness.
The mouths turned, and began to wrap around Kikyo, stretching themselves into impossible wicked grins. They opened and closed, but no sound came out. The laughter was coming from elsewhere. It sounded as though the voice was emanating from her own mouth, but it was not her voice. Kikyo tried to place it, but dreaded the moment when she remembered whose it was. Even Inuyahsa's hand on her shoulder was not enough to hold her still—
—Inuyasha's hand? How did she know that?
Slowly, Kikyo opened her eyes to see the same moon and stars she had drifted off under. Inuyasha had placed his hand just above her arm, taking care as always not to dig his claws into her flesh.
He was looking down at her, concern washed over his face. "You were shaking pretty bad there." His gold eyes met hers as the moonlight made his silver hair glow. "Now'd be as good a time as any to fess up to what Naraku did."
Kikyo broke eye contact, and pushed herself up. As the cold night air rushed in, she reached back down and wrapped herself with Inuyasha's robe once again. "It's nothing. Just a nightmare."
"Don't gimme that crap. You don't get nightmares for any little old thing, Kikyo." Inuyasha snarled. "Tell me what the freak did and I'll add it to the list of things he needs to die for." His hand was still on her shoulder.
Kikyo looked into the darkness on the horizon.
"Come on, Kikyo…" He inched closer. "You don't have anything to be afraid of from me."
"Have you ever killed a human, Inuyasha?"
He froze. "...W-what?"
The words blurted out of her lips. By the time Kikyo realized, it was too late.
Inuyasha continued to stare at her in shock, silently demanding an answer. Kikyo could not deny him it. "We have both killed countless demons in our lives. Creatures bent on nothing more than the destruction of all good things." She could sense the Soul Collectors in the distance, coiling around in the air. "But have you ever killed a human, Inuyasha?" Her breath hitched. "Even by accident?"
Inuyasha looked away. Like he was ashamed. Kikyo's eyebrows rose in confusion. What did—
"...Yeah." Inuyasha said quietly. "I did."
Kikyo's mouth opened, but no sound came out.
Inuyasha shifted, tugging at his white inner robe. "A few weeks ago."
"...How?" It was inconceivable. "You've never laid a finger on a human, what—" And then it clicked into place. "Naraku did something, didn't he?"
At first, Inuyasha didn't respond. Kikyo reached forward, and placed her hand on his. "Inuyasha…"
"My father placed a seal on my blood, through Tessaiga. It kept the worst parts of my demon half at bay, but then one of Naraku's minions broke the sword." Inuyasha flexed his hand, inward and outward. "I have it under control now, but…"
"Naraku's servant caused you…?" Kikyo whispered. Her hands trembled above Inuyasha's.
"One of his 'incarnations.' A freak he made out of himself, apparently." Inuyasha confirmed, his eyes still fixed on his blade. "The humans—they were scum, the worst kind of bandits—" Something in his voice quivered, and Kikyo felt herself breaking. "But still, I lost control. Just thinking about it—" He stopped and looked at her.
Kikyo was laughing. She found no humor in her lover's confession. She shared his fear and shame. But she was laughing.
"Kikyo, what the hell?" Inuyasha breathed out.
"It's a joke." Kikyo managed, between gasping laughs. "One big, fat joke!"
"What is—" Inuyasha sniffed the air. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I stole the jewel away from Naraku so i could purify him and it in one stroke!" Kikyo exclaimed. "And in doing so, I gave him the power to take your own purity away!" She collapsed, heaving against the earth. Just like everything else in her life and rebirth, it was all some cruel farce played against her by an angry Kami.
She wanted to scream, to cry, to beg. But all she could do was laugh. She thought why that was. Why she was not weeping as she did when her heart was first torn out of her body and ripped to shreds by an imposter. And then Kikyo knew. Her clay body had no tears to shed.
The monk had been right. Kikyo didn't belong in this world. She needed to return to her grave. Now. Before anything else could happen, before she hurt Inuyasha or anyone else ever again. She tried to pick herself up, to depart back to her village and home, but she could only fumble about.
"—ikyo! Kikyo!" Eventually, her hearing returned to her, as did her sense of place. Inuyasha had taken hold of her arms, and was trying to shake her loose of the emotions that had claimed her. "Damnit, Kikyo! Listen to me! Snap out of it!"
It was the same Inuyasha as always. Grimly determined, and looking forward. He was angry, but there was not a speck of hatred in his eye. "Stop thrashing around, and let me help you!"
But there should have been. If it was Kikyo, there would have been.
"Why do you not loathe me, Inuyasha?" Kikyo said between hiccups. "I bring you nothing but suffering."
"I told you before, I could never hate you!" He shouted. "And everything that ever went wrong between us is all Naraku's fault! Once I kill him, it will all come to an end!"
"It is no use." Kikyo breathed deeply, trying to regain some composure. "My body is no longer human, and my soul is following suit. I bring death to the world, and think nothing of it. My still heart grows colder each passing day."
"Just shut up for once!" Inuyasha growled. "Whatever Naraku did got into your head!"
"Let me go, Inuyasha." She whispered. "Let me die again, before I become someone even more repulsive than I already am."
"No, damn you! Don't you dare!" He roared as he seized her by the shoulders, dragging Kikyo up to his height. "I told you once, I'll never find you repulsive! That if my life is yours, then your life is mine! It doesn't matter what happens, I will always be by your side!"
His words struck her vulnerable heart. "I-inuyasha…"
"It doesn't matter how much shit life or Naraku or anyone else throws at us!" His golden eyes glowed with a fierce determination and a desperate need, all at once. "It doesn't matter what stupid thing you do, or how big a hole you fall into!" There was a desperate edge to his voice.
"...Do you mean it? Truly?" Kikyo reached out, her hand facing his chin. "After everything I've done to you? The hardships I have put you through? The mockery I have made of my office? The betrayals I have wrought against you and—" Her tongue caught. "—Your friends?"
"Yes." Inuyasha said without a hint of hesitation. He leaned in close to her. Like he did, fifty years ago. Just after they got off the boat and made their promise. "You were there for me, so I'll always be there for you."
The kiss was short and sweet, just as it had been all those years ago. When it ended, Kikyo looked up into his eyes, so full of warmth. Did she dare believe? It was a fool's promise. It seemed her road went ever on and on. That she would ever find happiness after what she had become…
Inuyasha's behavior was not something she should be encouraging. He knew she had killed. That she was a whirlpool of carnage. That she would drag him under, sooner or later. He just didn't want to let her go. Once, he had told her that she was the first person to ever treat him with kindness since his mother died. And no matter how wrong it was, he didn't want to lose her again. He wanted to believe in the impossible. He wanted Kikyo to believe in the impossible. It was stupid. Idiotic.
But right now, she wanted to believe. So very badly.
Kikyo wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's neck, and kissed him again, deeper and more feverishly. Like they had, fifty years ago when the night's wait was just too long. When they parted, Kikyo could feel a warmth in her bones, radiating out into her body, the likes of which she had not felt in all her life.
"K-kikyo…" Inuyasha's voice was uncertain, but he held her tight. Just as he had fifty years ago.
"Beloved, please…" She choked out a sob. "...Tonight, I beg of you. Stay with me." Her fingers brushed against his soft silver hair. "Hold me like you did before our love was stolen." Her words came out as a whisper, with their lips so close. "Until dawn…let me feel human again."
He trembled, but leaned closer. Inuyasha's arms held her tighter, fiercer. He took a breath, and then his lips pressed into hers, sweetly, but roughly. Just as they had so many years ago. Just as they would throughout the night.
Kikyo gasped, and surrendered to a familiar warmth.
The sun was gently cresting over the hill when Kikyo finished tying up her hair. Inuyasha was still resting underneath his robes. He grunted when the morning light hit his eyes, and pulled his robes up to cover them.
But his ears were still poking up underneath the robe's hem. Kikyo couldn't stop herself from giggling at the sight. She reached down to run her hands down their length. Inuyasha grunted, but didn't stop her.
It had been quite like their first time together. Under the moonlight, without another soul for miles. Inuyasha had been eager to please her. And Kikyo had been eager to be pleased. Eager to return his affections. A return to a simpler time.
Of course, her new body had changed things. Her touch was only as warm as Inuyasha could make it, as her body generated little heat. When their lips met, instead of being soft and plump, Kikyo's had been rigid and dry. When he touched her, she could feel the soil in her flesh shift and settle.
Inuyasha could undoubtedly hear it all. Smell the difference. But he said nothing. When she didn't react, he compensated. Where her clay body failed, he adapted. He held her with the same passion and fervor as he did fifty years ago.
Kikyo hummed as she ran her hand over his soft fur.
Was this what her life could be like, after Naraku's defeat? A taste of happiness yet to come? It was a strange thought. A hanyo and a dead woman living out their days together, in the midst of all the chaos and confusion of the warring states, still raging on.
Perhaps the wars would never end, and their little slice of happiness could continue on amidst the chaos and misery. A fifty year-old promise, finally fulfilled. Happiness finally realized. It was within her grasp now. All she needed, all they needed, was to finally put an end to Naraku, purify the Shikon Jewel, and then—
A Soul Collector gently brushed past Kikyo, depositing another stolen soul into her.
…And then, she would have to put all the souls in her false body to rest.
Perhaps she could purify the jewel by restoring herself to life? Purifying her withered flesh into what it was meant to be? Or even the impure part of the jewel was required for such a wish, surely she would be allowed this one indulgence, after everything she had been through? Surely the gods would not be so cruel?
…No. No. The jewel would betray her, again. As it always did. As it always would.
The sun was rising. Inuyasha was starting to face the fact that he could not hide from it's light forever.
Kikyo gave his ears one last pat, before helping him get dressed.
"...I should not stay." She managed, as they stood awkwardly in front of each other. "I'm not—" Her eyes darted out across the lake. To where the campfire had been last night. To where Kagome was. "I've always been a loner."
Inuyasha looked like he wanted to say something. To argue. Kikyo gently pushed against his chest and stared up into his eyes.
"Before you go…" Inuyasha reached into a pocket and pulled something out, handing it to Kikyo. She looked at it, and then gasped.
It was a little shell, tied together by a red string. His mother's Beni. "This…"
"Kaede found it, and kept it in a box of your things for all these years." Inuyasha explained. "I've been meaning to give it to you for a while now."
"But—after all this time—"
"I said it was yours, so It's yours." He shot back. "Don't make this more complicated than that."
"...You're right." Kikyo held the shell tight, and leaned up to place a long kiss on Inuyasha's lips.
He hummed into her ear. "I'll see you soon."
Kikyo gave a small, sad smile. "Always, beloved."
This story started out as a splattering of ideas taken from a couple of hatefics/angry posts that I found while trying to find fics on this pairing, plus rereading key bits and realizing "Oh yeah, they both did that." Which eventually congealed into this, so take that for what it's worth. Kikyo really is an endlessly fascinating character, but it's a shame how little the source material tries to really dig into what she does. You'd think after throwing her off a cliff the first three times, Takahashi would have gotten bored…
Also, after rereading/watching Inuyasha, Naraku is a shockingly uncharismatic villain. With his backstory and relationships to the main characters you'd think he would have a few half-decent villain monologues, but he's always too busy running away to his next everything-proof shield. The glacial pacing and his ability to only make meat shields that last maybe a full volume also hurt him quite a bit. Seriously, when seven 50-year old corpses make for more engaging and entertaining villains…I guess this is an attempt to give him something more than the power to test the audience's patience.
