Dallas, Texas

March 1977

Rolling the nightgown into a ball and sliding it under her blouse, giving false width to her abdomen, Sue Ellen studied herself in the full-length mirror, assessing her appearance, letting herself enjoy the fantasy for a time. It wasn't proper for a lady to flaunt her state when she was expecting but she was sure that in the privacy of their bedrooms they revelled in the joy. The way she felt when she looked at herself from side-on was bittersweet. So much she wished it was real and the reminder that it wasn't made the constant longing pain worse.

She shouldn't do it to herself, she knew that reality hurt her more than daydreams helped her, but it didn't stop her from imagining.

She wanted what she wanted but, in this case, getting what she wanted wasn't easy. Being surrounded by material wealth and possessions was nice, but it wasn't fulfilling.

Thirty. She was thirty. She didn't think she looked thirty, but she was.

She'd not gained a pound since freshman year of college, not even after marrying JR and attending almost daily catered events. She took good care of her skin, and regularly maintained her hair and nails at the beauty parlour too. She was in excellent health, swimming and riding regularly for exercise. She hadn't let herself go at all, but sometimes she truly thought she had, JR certainly didn't seem to find her even half as interesting or attractive as he once did.

The frequency of proper marital relations had been diminishing between them for years and that was a concern for her, one she'd stayed silent about for a long time. The state of their marriage altogether was even more concerning and was something she feared addressing at all. JR had Ewing Oil and his family but without him all she had was her mother and sister and neither of them would be much comfort if she were suddenly alone.

She was passive but she wasn't stupid. She knew how to keep the peace and she knew when to make her move, to push in order to make something happen. If she had made the suggestion at a different time, or waited for JR to action the thought then she'd still be treading water. She'd been thinking about it for a long time and when the opportunity to ask for her wish to be fulfilled presented itself, she'd taken it.

Obliging mostly because it had been her one birthday request but also because she'd used JR's one weakness against him, how it had happened didn't matter now, what mattered was that he had an appointment booked for this morning and if all went to plan, they'd be making some real progress soon.


The clinic had provided visuals to assist and he was no stranger to what they wanted from him, but as much as he tried, his efforts produced few results, frustrating him.

Thirty. Sue Ellen was thirty.

She could have had anything she wanted. Jewellery, a fur coat, new car, or even a vacation, giving her any of those would have been acceptable to him, but those things weren't what she wanted.

"A baby JR, I want to have a baby."

Years ago, he might have thought the request simple, but not anymore. They'd been married coming up seven years but their union remained fruitless, and not for lack of trying.

"The best birthday gift would be you seeing a doctor with me."

Hearing the words he'd frozen in place. Sue Ellen had been implying that the absence of offspring was something to do with him, which simply couldn't be true.

"I've seen several specialists myself and they all say the same thing."

Sue Ellen should have kept that information to herself. She was in perfect health, and so she should be, she had all the time in the world to dedicate to her wellbeing. On the other hand, he didn't eat well, sleep enough, or exercise as much as he should. He had a busy, stressful job, and that was unlikely to change.

"Please JR, if not for me, then for your daddy."

She'd gotten him there. More than anything his daddy wanted a grandson.

He'd never tell anyone, but her efforts to guilt him had worked, bringing him to where he was now. Unfortunately, his mind and body were not on the same page; he was physically present, but mentally he couldn't concentrate on much of anything.

Waiting to see what happened had gone on long enough and now it was time to dig deeper into why nothing had come from their marriage. The problem was, he knew that there was no simple or easy answer. If the tests concluded what he wanted them to, that he was just fine, then they were still in the same place they'd always been, but if the tests showed an issue, then they had a problem, one he wasn't ready to face yet.