(Disclaimer: This story contains depictions of violence and unfunny cringe attempts at humor throughout.)
On the Astral Express, what started out as a fairly standard day quickly got more interesting when Himeko decided to hold a sudden meeting with the rest of the crew. That's when she began to discuss the possibility of the crew getting a pet for the express. But, there was a catch; it involved Stelle's input…
"Oh, wowie! We're really gonna get a pet!?", March 7th exclaimed excitedly upon hearing the suggestion. Dan Heng stoically followed up with: "Easy there, March. Let's hear what else she has to say." Welt nodded and replied, "Indeed. Even I'm curious about where this idea came from…", while contemplating.
While they all quieted down, Himeko kept smiling and then answered their inquiries with her trademark elegance. "Hmm… Well… I've been noticing how Stelle has been under a lot of stress lately, with her recent arrival on the Express and her struggles on our Trailblaze expeditions and all of that.", she said, "So, I just thought that having a pet to take care of would be therapeutic, and help her with acclimating to her new home. That's all there is to it." Stelle, who was standing nearby next to the others, just nodded and gave a grateful smile silently once she learned about her reasoning. March 7th smiled wider and cheerfully commented: "Aww… That's sweet of you! You're always looking out for us, Himeko!" In response, Himeko crossed her arms and kept upholding her mature aura. "Naturally! That's my duty here on the Express. …Now, do any of you have any ideas on what kind of pet you want? Remember, Stelle's input takes priority, as this is all for her sake.", she replied.
"Ooh, ooh! Hey, hey!", March 7th emoted while bobbing her hand in the air, "How 'bout a bunny? I love bunnies, and having one would be sooo cute! And I'm sure the conductor would appreciate it, since they kinda look like a bunny, too!" Dan Heng shook his head in reaction before suggesting, "Putting Pom-Pom aside… May I suggest a cat? They're quite popular and generally low maintenance pets.", with a subtle hint of longing in his tone. She nodded, and while still feeling happy, said: "Ah, that's a good idea, too! I didn't know you liked cats, Dan Heng." Meanwhile, Welt offered his own idea, but he whispered it so quietly, nobody could hear him. "A dog, perhaps…?", he uttered out mutedly.
Himeko looked around attentively before she addressed them. "Heh… Wonderful suggestions, everyone. With that, what are your thoughts, Stelle? Is there anything you'd want as a pet that we could adopt? It should be something important that can make you feel calm and comfortable.", she asked. Using her last two brain cells, Stelle spent a few moments thinking about her options until something became clear to her. It was so simple, and she couldn't believe that she hadn't considered it beforehand. She had a plan for obtaining the pet she wanted, and she would adopt it, no matter the cost. She then silently nodded to Himeko's questions in agreement, all while having a blank look on her face.
"Oh, really? That's great to know!", she stated, "What type of pet is it? Where can we get one?" A single, decisive second passes before Stelle unexpectedly shakes her head and neutrally answers with, "Ight, Imma head out.", and then proceeds to teleport to some far off Space Anchor location using her phone.
Of everyone present in the parlor car, only March 7th and Dan Heng seemed to be concerned about the shocking turn of events that just happened. "Oh, brother! I've got a bad feeling about this…", she groaned. He nodded and rolled his eyes while responding with: "I do as well. Hopefully, this ends peacefully and no one gets hurt…" And so, they patiently waited for the unhinged Stelle to return with her pet…
…
In the hustle and bustle of Belobog's streets, Stelle arrived in the Administrative District from the nearby Space Anchor. Dead set on her goal, she spent a few minutes walking down the sidewalks with determination in her stride; she knew exactly what she was looking for, and where to find it.
Upon nearing her destination, a small alcove containing some rail-lined fences near a shop, she then spotted a hauntingly familiar person, somebody who she feared running into. The acquaintance's visage posed an obstacle to Stelle, as this could ruin her plans to acquire her pet. Nevertheless, she proceeded to formulate a risky, but effective plan to get past the person in her way. Using inspiration from an iconic (and memeable) scene in a terrible, yet hilarious old movie, she prepared to confront the adversary and recited her plan. All of this was to rescue her pet from the acquaintance's grasp!
Near the sidewalk's edge, Sampo was carrying an empty trash can. While Sampo partaking in helpful tasks is an almost unheard-of sight, this time was an exception. Due to his recent museum thefts as "Mr. Cold Feet", he was forced to serve two years of community service as punishment. To make sure he complied, various members of Wildfire and the Silvermane Guards supervised his work, such as Gepard and Seele. Originally intended for prison, Natasha and Chief Oleg vouched for his previous good deeds while he was a member of Wildfire, which helped lighten his sentence.
Regardless of the circumstances, Sampo begrudgingly cleaned up litter off the streets and took out the trash cans for emptying. With a bored-sounding sigh, he set the empty trash can he was carrying down in the fence-surrounded street corner. "Maannn, this is bad for business~! I'm losing precious customers and sales while I'm wasting away with this boring, non-profit labor. I can't even get away to continue my pursuits, what with all these old friends of mine watching me!", he complained, "...Though, I guess I can't whine too much. I owe Wildfire for savin' my bacon once they found out about Mr. Cold Feet, otherwise I'd be in the shackles right about now. And I must pay back any favor that I owe, or my name isn't Sampo Koski~! Then… That'll be my motivation for continuing this mundane freeloadin' work… Oohh, the betrayin' humility~!" He then proceeded to let out a half-groan, half-laughing sound. He didn't care that he was talking this flamboyantly to himself, even while he was being watched, that's just how Sampo's weirdness works.
Dusting his hands off, Sampo then picked up a nearly-full trash can right next to the empty one he just put down. As it left the ground with an effortful heave, the spot it sat in revealed a stone-faced Stelle, who stood a short distance away. For some unknown reason, her deadpan expression then morphed into a wide-eyed manic grin. Feeling high from the position, she then yelled at the top of her lungs: "GARBAGE DAY!" This led to Sampo looking at her, his eyes barely peering over from the trash can's massive cylindrical shape. All he could mutter out in his distracted mood was, "Huh?", in a confused manner. Then, without hesitation, she whipped out her baseball bat and pointed it like a gun at him.
As soon as he realized what was happening, he tried to raise the trash can in front of his face like a shield to defend against the incoming attack. "No!", he yelled. She then chucked the bat at him, and it hit the rim of the can with a loud bang, which led to it bouncing off it and striking Sampo squarely in the forehead with its top-heavy side. He let out a painful, "Augh…!", grunting sound as he dropped his makeshift shield and went crashing to the ground with it.
Finishing her over-the-top reenactment, Stelle picked up the bat that rolled all the way back over to her, twirled it, and made a sarcastic-sounding laugh with the same wide-eyed manic face from earlier as she put the weapon away. She proceeded to take a few steps and laugh once more. "Ha ha ha…", she went.
Then, all it took was one look at the tipped over trash can Sampo was carrying, which had all of its trash spilled out into the street, for Stelle to snap out of her daze and regain sight of her mission. Unable to bear the sight of its injuries, she ran over to it to check to make sure it was okay. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry, little one! I didn't mean to hurt you, I was aiming for your kidnapper. Geez… You have a dent in your side… Here, lemme comfort you!", Stelle empathetically said before lifting the trash can up and holding it like a small child, "Shhh… Shhh… It's okay, I'm here for you. Nobody will hurt you ever again. An adorable trash can like yourself deserves better…"
While she continued to soothe it, a sketchy but charismatic voice rang out on the ground near where it had fallen. "Psst… Hiya, Stelle! I'm kinda in a bind down here. Could ya lend a hand to your ol' pal, Sampo~? I'm not sure why my favorite client would assault me, I told you to watch the face in the past before!", the mercenary doofus muttered out with the typical goofy smile he usually wore when conducting "business". Ignoring him, Stelle began to put the trash bags back into her trash can she was still holding, all while saying: "Don't worry, I'll adopt you as my pet! I'll feed you trash bags and cuddle with you everyday! On top of that, I'll also fix your dent and give you a name… …Yeah, your name is now… …Trashie! It's an honor for you to become the Galactic Baseballer's partner in trash. So, come on, lemme take you back to your new home, Trashie! The Astral Express is what it's called…"
After finishing clean-up duty, she then carried her newfound "pet" (can, trash bags, lid, and all) away with her back to the Space Anchor she teleported from. And she did all of this while having a parental smile on her relaxed face. Watching this madness unfold, Sampo slowly sat up in confusion, his head still throbbing from the attack and his body still sitting in the street. "What was that all about? Oh man, my head's gonna keep killin' me for the rest of the day… Maybe I should just "sneak away" while I can. I can hear customers callin' Sampo Koski's name~!", he said sneakily while he began to scheme. Unfortunately for him (but not for everyone else), his thoughts were interrupted by his security supervisor, Pela, yelling at him. Facepalming, she sternly commanded: "Hey, no slacking off! Get back to work! I've got my eye on you, Mr. Cold Feet! This is what you deserve for your crimes!"
He stood up fully and replied, "Alright, alright… Fine. I guess I owe it to ya for not throwing me in jail. Still, what about me gettin' assaulted? Surely, that's not something that can be tolerated! But I don't wanna see her get in too much trouble, please don't press charges, she did so much for little ol' me~!", in a half-sympathetic, half-joking tone. Not impressed with his exchange, Pela scoffed and continued her orderly droning. "...Hmph! That doesn't concern me. I don't have the energy to report it, I've been too busy writing my-...", she stated before she reverted to an embarrassed manner as she almost revealed her secret hobby, "...T-That's not the point! Just… DO YOUR JOB!" He nodded at her flustering and saluted her. "Aye aye, valued customer. Just leave it to the reliable Sampo Koski~!", he said. She sighed as he returned to his work, and everything went back to normal, free from Stelle's influence, which helped suppress Sampo's silliness.
…
Back on the Express, the crew's anxious silence continued on for what seemed like hours, even though only ten minutes had passed since Stelle left them. Right when March 7th was about to go search for her herself, Stelle teleported back into the parlor car, now holding Trashie as her newly acquired pet.
"Whew… You made it back, Stelle! What a relief!", March 7th gasped in respite while wiping her brow, "Where'd ya run off to? And, um… why're you holding a trash can…?" Realizing what occurred, Dan Heng shook his head and quietly responded with: "Wait for it…" And, as if right on cue, Stelle began to explain herself. She lifted Trashie up higher and patted it a few times affectionately so everyone in the room could see it.
"Fellow Trailblazers, meet Trashie! This cute lil' trash can will be the Astral Express' official pet from now on. I rescued it from the streets of Belobog… You'll all love Trashie, and it'll make a good addition to our Trailblazing expeditions. I think I made the right choice…", she clarified. Dan Heng then gestured over to March 7th after she finished talking, saying, "See? I knew it…", in an unsurprised tone. "...Huh!? Uhhh…", she stammered while scratching her head, "...This is supposed to be a pet? But it's not even a living thing! She'll have to pick an actual animal out, right, Himeko…?" She glanced over at Himeko expectantly, hoping that she would put a hold on Stelle's odd behavior. However, perhaps not shockingly, she decided to reinforce/tolerate the situation, as if she was the permissive mother of the group (which she kind of is).
"Heh heh… Don't be so hard on her, March! Some pets don't have to be animals, since there are people who keep plants and even rocks as them…", she exemplified politely, "Also, remember, this is Stelle's decision in the end! And if she's happy with her pet, then I think we should be as well." Somewhat unsatisfied with this answer, March 7th failed to rebut the argument with: "Yeah, but… this is a bit of a stretch…" Dan Heng was starting to get annoyed at the pointless protesting, since he had given up any hope of getting his dream cat. So, he decided to ease her worries. "Well, it could be worse… At least we won't have to worry about feeding, watering, walking, or cleaning up after it. And if… Trashie somehow needs attention, Stelle can handle it all by herself. It can be her punishment for not bringing us a genuine pet…", he said conclusively, and he said the last sentence with a hint of disappointment in his voice. As an answer, she took a deep breath and said, "Sigh… You're right… For once. And yeah, I'm over not getting my imaginary bunny now. I'm the same way with my stuffed animals, so I can understand her… enthusiasm. It's whatevs, I guess!", as all of her stress faded away.
That's when Welt chimed in at last, not being sure what to say beforehand. "Well, I'm… glad that this all worked out, I suppose… Though, something's been on my mind for a while… Stelle, you said you "rescued" this… Trashie? From what, exactly…?", he asked. Stelle, who was near the lounging sofas, was clearing off a space for Trashie to sit on. While she was placing some of its trash bags on the sofa itself for some unknown reason, she answered the question with: "Trashie was being kidnapped right in Belobog's public streets for everybody to see! By… Sampo, of all people. I rescued it by using my bat to force it out of his hands. And so, the Trailblazin' Galactic Baseballer strikes out once again!" For a second, nobody reacted to her cringe, so she continued to rearrange Trashie's bags like earlier.
Dan Heng just groaned after a while, and March 7th shook her head before proceeding to shrug her shoulders. "Normally, I'd be upset at you for attacking someone innocent and making your stupid jokes. But…", she commented with a mixture of aggravation and confusion, "This IS Sampo we're talking about, so… I'll let it slide! I wish I coulda seen it, that would've been so funny! That blue-haired freak deserves a hit to the face. At least SOMETHING good came out of all this! Ha!" Welt's face then scrunched up in surprise as he stumbled out, "I… don't know how to respond to that…", with an awkward disposition. This caused Himeko to chuckle and say: "It's in the past now, so it doesn't matter… All's well that ends well!" Everyone uncomfortably laughed as the realization of the situation's oddity crept up on them.
Once the silence returned, Welt spoke up once more, remembering that he had forgotten something important. "With that behind us… What's the conductor's opinion on keeping Trashie as a pet? Will they allow its… trash(?) to be spread here on the Express' floors?", he asked somewhat rhetorically. "Since you asked… In Pom-Pom's humble opinion, Trashie can stay here as the Astral Express' honored guest as long as Stelle can pick up its messes.", Pom-Pom answered bluntly, appearing from out of nowhere, and everyone turned around to face them, "Like now, for example… All of you crew members should remind her that she must put away her makeshift bed once she wakes up, if she wants to keep her pet on Pom-Pom's train!"
Confused at their response, the Express crew gave Pom-Pom puzzled stares. Then, they pointed over to where Stelle was, causing everyone to turn around and look behind them. In the span of a short minute, the entire rest of the crew somehow missed out on an usual sight that took place while they were distracted by Pom-Pom. There, on the sofa, was Stelle. She was sleeping on the sofa soundly, using one of Trashie's bags (filled to the brim with plastic and paper materials) as a makeshift pillow, and she was holding the can itself in her arms. She had a relaxed smile on her face and she was sleeping hard, snoring softly all the while. She was also mumbling something about "Tatalov" in her dreams…
Himeko and Welt both had parental-like looks on their faces, not minding how strange the sight was. Meanwhile, Dan Heng and March 7th had sibling-like responses towards it. "How does she even do it…? I didn't hear anything at all…", he said while tilting his head with a confused expression. Smiling for the first time in a while, she optimistically stated: "Well, it's kinda cute, I guess. Maybe keepin' Trashie around won't be so bad, after all… It's doing what Himeko said a pet would do for Stelle. Hee hee! I swear, she's just like an adorable lil' raccoon over there!"
The calm silence that followed spoke for itself when it came to everyone's thoughts at that moment. While most of them were resistant towards the idea of Trashie at first, they all eventually came to accept it for what it was and what it did for Stelle. And the fact that they cared that much about her to accept her weirdness, no matter what, speaks in volumes for how kind the crew truly was. And as the celestial locomotive drifted through the cosmos, the smiles on their faces drove them even further, to truly become a strong founded family!
[Writer's Commentary: Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this… This insane idea I had about getting a garbage can as a pet occurred naturally to me as I was playing the game. Like usual, this ended up longer than I expected. And for some bizarre reason, I made it weirdly wholesome at the end, all while taking it absolutely seriously. That was not my intention, but it seems like it's something I can't help but do. I apologize if that's not what you wanted, reader, but this kind of thing just… happens when you're writing sometimes. I don't know if this is any good, but I don't like it as much as the first one… Sorry about that… In more lighthearted comments, I parodied an ancient meme in this story by recreating it almost verbatim in the scene with Sampo. If you've never heard of it, it's called the "Garbage Day" meme and it comes from an unintentionally funny scene from this terrible old horror movie called "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2". It's quite old, so I don't blame you if you've never heard of it. Once I started playing Star Rail, I realized that swapping the characters in the original scene with the game's characters was the perfect parody material, and Stelle/Sampo were the most suitable for the reference! Here's the link to it on YouTube if you want to watch it: /i7gIpuIVE3k?si=iFnhj1lDXlCqA5a8. Anyway, that's all I want to say. I won't waste anymore of your time, so… See you next time!]
