To clear some myths that I am using in this store for a better understanding, there is nowhere in the black butler series that explains, or at least goes too much into detail, the powers of demons and angels and more specifically fallen angels. So whatever seems to be kind of... off putting, I should say, I'm creating or drawing a conclusion from other folklore. So please keep that in mind while you read.
Chapter 47:
"No... you're joking, right? It has to be day, that's why it's so freakin' bright..."
I rubbed my eyes as I slowly held myself up. Everything moved smoothly and almost calmly around me. My head moved around, eyeing the butler and the Earl that made an odd duo.
My back twitched as I moved my hand away from my face. Each follicle of hair on my body was protruding upward as the chill from the night air moved across my sweat stained skin. But I didn't feel cold. I only felt the chilling effects of cold air.
"Celesta, are you alright?" I heard the young master's voice, almost as clearly as I was seeing the brightness from the moon.
"I feel... empty... Almost as if everything I was thinking before came to a stop all of a sudden..."
"Ciel!" a yell was heard coming closer to us. My head swiveled to eye the blonde with green eyes approaching us. "Everyone's been safely evacuated!"
The blond tried taking one more step towards us, but was stopped upon stepping too close to the lifeless body's head in front of him. His eyes looked sullenly at the body, almost as if he pitied.
"We're done here as well..." Ciel spoke in a low tone. "Watch your step."
The blonde boy's head raised back up with eyes full of sadness.
"Ciel... I'm scared." The boy left a pregnant pause. The Earl stood still, waiting for the blond to continue. "If this had continued, I might have become like those prefects... The kind of person that believes murder is justice."
Ciel gave a small, pitiful smile. "Don't worry. As long as you believe that, you'll still be normal, unlike me..."
A violent chill coursed through my veins, enough to make my fist slam onto the hard concrete floor. The blonde quickly changed his line of sight from the Earl to me, his eyes replacing the sadness he felt to confusion and shock.
"What is a girl doing here?"
I looked away. I wasn't in the right state of mind to answer him. Nor did I know the purpose of my being here. How I got here, however, I was the only one that knew. I had willingly come here with the Undertaker after he tried mending an "accident" of his.
"The principal of the school had kidnapped my maid. I'm taking her back." The young earl lied as if it was something that happened every day. Although it was more often than not, but it was Ciel that was always kidnapped, not his servants.
The blonde had asked no more questions of the matter. Instead he nodded and walked away, leaving the three of us there.
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I was seated in the young master's carriage, waiting for the said Lord to return from his meeting with the queen.
My wing slightly ached from being sat on, but considering the fact that I couldn't vanish it, it was the best that I could do. thankfully, the robe that the Undertaker had let me borrow still rested upon my shoulders, blocking the black mass from the vision of others.
As I sat there, I couldn't help but notice the difference in volume from the people surrounding me. There were whispers coming from the darkest alleys. There were no dogs in sight, however I could hear them as if they were only two feet away. I could even hear the light tap of walking sticks from the gentlemen passing by. To an extent, it hurt. Everything was too loud causing me to cover my ears. But it was more of a dull, incessant ache rather than an infectious one.
I must have been too lost in my thoughts to notice the door to the carriage open. The young master's heeled shoes stepped into the carriage, followed by the light thud of the carriage door shutting a few moments after.
"You've worked hard, young master," I heard Sebastian say.
"I'll say. I want to get back and eat sweets already."
"If you eat too many sweets your teeth will rot," I spoke up. "Although you may brush your teeth, it'll still rot like a poor person who hasn't brushed their teeth."
"Shut up. I will do whatever it is I want."
"Ah!" Sebastian breathed. "The mailman gave this to me while we were on our way out."
"I don't want it."
"Are you sure about trashing a letter from Mister Macmillan without even reading it?"
"It's fine... I won't be returning to that cramped miniature garden ever again."
"Are you sure young master? There is a possibility that even you will be attending that school someday. Not even Sebastian can teach you for the rest of your life."
"Speaking of the school," the young lord turned his eyes towards me and away from the outside world. His eyes were cold and calculating. It reminded me of the train ride back to the manor after they had agreed to take me in. But even now, his eyes more worry than doubt than before.
"How did you end up in the garden in the first place Celesta? Were you there with the Undertaker?"
It was my turn to look out the window. I looked around trying to gather what I needed to say, and what I wanted to say.
"After being taken by Undertaker... he helped me while I was injured..."
"Why?"
"I'm not too sure. He said he knew my parents, and that he knew me when I was just a child, but I'm not so sure what kind of relationship he and my parents had to make him want to help me."
There was a short pause in the air, almost as if the other two were trying to think of what to say next.
"It wasn't until today that he brought me to this school with him. He needed me for something, I'm not sure what. It's part of the reason why I was so angry looking for the Undertaker."
I watched as the trees flew by, though each of them weren't moving as they should have been. It was almost as if I was watching them while going on a stroll, or flight.
There was a slight pull in my neck and it twitched causing me to breathe out in irritation. I rubbed the sore spots and brought my hand back into my lap, only to notice a dark color coating my nails.
"Celesta, are you sure that the Undertaker did absolutely nothing to you?" Sebastian said with what sounded like gritted teeth.
I had to think for a small moment of whether or not I wanted to tell him about the vial. The specific topic of conversation was bound to happen sooner or later, but it was a conversation that I did not want to have with the young master listening. But I knew that there was nothing that I could do in this situation. Whatever the Undertaker gave me needed to be known from the two who took me in.
"He... There was this thing that he gave me but I'm not sure what it was... It was a clear liquid - in a vial - and he forced me to drink it."
Ciel's eyes were now glazed over, lost in thought. Sebastian's eyes narrowed in a slight glare. I knew it wasn't completely directed towards me, however it still felt unsettling. What was even more unsettling was the darkening of my nails during the rest of the ride. We sat in silence but I could feel Sebastian's stare at me. I was beginning to get uncomfortable, until the familiar screaming of the servants caused all three of us to crease our brows in confusion when we finally stopped at the manor.
After I stepped out of the carriage last I could see why the servants were screaming. Littered all over the garden were sheep with the thickest wool I had ever seen. They were hilariously ugly for such adorable sounding animals.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Old man Sam's fence broke..." Bard said irking.
Bard chased after one of the sheep that went into the herb patch, causing the young master to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"The law is just a lawn, isn't it?" Ciel, with his cane in his hand and his posture straight, walked away to head back inside. "Prepare me my afternoon tea once you've cleaned this up."
"Yes, my lord."
I watched as Ciel made his way inside the manor. I took small steps towards the building, stopping only slightly to speak to Sebastian.
"Sebastian..." His head turned towards me. "I'll begin preparing the young master's tea."
It wasn't too long until Sebastian joined me in the kitchen. The tea was done but Sebastian decided to bake a cake to accompany the tea, so I waited for it to be done while sitting on the stool near the counter.
The air was tight as I watched Sebastian make the tea for the young Earl. My hands unconsciously rubbed against each other as I sat there, somehow feeling guilty for what happened with the Undertaker. But I knew that Sebastian would have to understand that I wasn't strong enough to stop whatever it was that he did to me. But I could also see the fault in myself.
A part of me, even though small, still wanted to know what it was that my parents had wanted to give me after our separation in the past. That faint feeling grew stronger the more that I thought about it and I couldn't stop my curiosity from over powering the thought of what I needed to do instead of wanted.
"Sebastian..." I spoke before I could even process the thoughts swirling in my head.
The said demon turned to face me, his crimson eyes displaying some time of worry.
"I'm scared of what the Undertaker did to me. I'm scared that I'm going to be a monster." I paused. It was the most truthful that I had been in my life, and the feeling to stay quiet and not say anything further was beginning to seems a more favorable choice than to continue.
I looked away as I bit my lip trying to figure out what to say next. I felt a gloved hand under my chin as my head turned softly towards the red eyed demon.
"Have I become the one thing that my parents didn't want me to be? Have I become something that..." I couldn't finish.
Did I want to be a demon? I wasn't so sure. It was tempting, living the rest of my days until an al powerful being decided that I was too much for this world to end my life. Or living my life with the one person who was meant for me. It had its perks but it also had a downside of torment for the rest of my waking days.
"Would it be so bad to become the thing that you were meant to be?"
I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"
Sebastian stood up straight, removing his hand from my chin. "A fallen angel is meant to become a demon whether they want to or not. That would be including your father who was a fallen angel."
I looked to the side in thought, my hands nervously circling each other as I sat there.
"I will take the young master his tea, until then, wait for me here."
I sighed as I waited for the butler to come back down. My black finger nails wrapped around each other, not letting go of the little comfort the small action provided. I sighed and leaned onto the counter.
It didn't take long for the demonic butler to return to the kitchen. I sat up and faced my mate, however my eyes were avoiding his frame as I still wasn't ready for what I was going to hear.
"My parents..." I began. I shifted uncomfortable on the stool that I sat on.
"It's alright Celesta. There is no need to talk about your parents if it is something uncomfortable. However, what happened with Undertaker is something that needs to be explained."
"What do you mean?"
Sebastian's head moved closer to mine, the distance between us closing very shortly. I looked away as I felt my face warm up.
"I am sure you know what I mean..."
I couldn't think of anything regarding the Undertaker except for the most current event. But a feeling within me was gnawing away at me. It kept telling me that I somehow knew the Undertaker when I was a kid but I couldn't remember anything.
I sat in front of Sebastian, my thumb in my mouth as I chewed on the short limb until an idea over came me.
"Sebastian..." He sat quietly, waiting for more words to spill out of my mouth. "I want to go to London."
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Sebastian and I walked through London, the former silently following I walked looking for nothing in particular. There was a foreboding feeling, one that told me that I needed to look in the area. But the more rational side of me, the one that wasn't consumed by the selfish need to find something that was once lost, was telling me that what I was looking for was from the beginning.
I had no memories of life before my parents disappeared or most of what happened after. I had never really cared before. When I was in the circus, all I needed were the circus members, I was content with having them as a family. Even the Baron was someone that I considered family, though, I thought about it more and more, I couldn't see him as a Father anymore.
The night air was crisp but it wasn't bothersome. Each corner of the dark alleys held no significance as I passed by them, trying to find something in the city.
"Celesta, why would you feel the need to come to London?"
"I need to find something. I read somewhere that the best way to regain memory is to go to the place that you last remembered. Or to basically retrace your steps from those around you. But, considering the fact that the Undertaker is probably the only one that knows anything but is on our list of 'people we don't like anymore' this is the best that I could do."
A deep sigh resonated from behind me. I could feel the slight irritation oozing from his person, but he would have to be patient.
A little over an hour passed and I could feel my own irritation bubble within me. My own sigh of contempt resonated through the air followed by Sebastian's soothing voice.
"Are you sure you want to continue searching for your answers through alleys?"
I stopped and faced him. A frown was gracing my lips as my eyebrows furrowed, coated with stress and irritation.
"Yes. This is the only thing, or actually the only way that I know how to regain at least a little bit of what I lost. I'm sorry that it's not worth your time but it is to me."
I raked my hands through my hair. It was infuriating knowing that the demon that stood in front of me wasn't even attempting to sympathize with my inner turmoil.
I walked away from him and continued trekking through the dark streets of London. It wasn't until I realized that Sebastian was right, the damn demon was right. I knew I couldn't continue doing this all night, especially since I had no idea where I was going.
Another sigh forced its way through my lungs as I felt Sebastian's hand on my soldier. I turned towards the butler, my face hiding in his chest. I could still smell the apple and cinnamon from him, even in my time of confusion. It was soothing to say the least.
"You will find the answers that you are looking for. You only need to be patient."
"I might end up dying at this rate..." I mumbled.
I could feel the cold stare of the demon in front of me. Although, it wasn't fear that I was feeling but more along the lines of anxious. I couldn't figure out why I was so anxious as he stared at me. Deciding to cut the sudden tension in the air, I looked into his eyes and spoke.
"What's wrong?"
I received no answer and began growing slightly worried. I feared that I did something wrong to upset him.
"What's wrong, Sebastian?" I probed.
"We should head back to the manor if your search is finished."
Sebastian let go of me and turned to walk away. I knew there was something wrong. Ever since I came back he has looked at me differently than before, both he and the young master. It was becoming irritating.
"Sebastian," I began, grabbing the hand closest to me, "what's wrong?"
I hoped that the desperate look in my eyes told him that I genuinely wanted to know.
With quick movement my arm was raised above me and an arm was around my waist, the hand attached to it was hovering slightly over the mark on my back.
"The problem, my mate, is that the Undertaker did something to you that I am not pleased with. However, how he has done it is the question..."
Confusion swept over me while I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
"You no longer smell like a human..." His eyes turned to that crimson fuchsia that I was familiar with.
"What am I Sebastian?"
His hand pressed against the marking on my back. I could feel my teeth grow, I could feel slight burning in my eyes as well as the pit of my stomach growing larger as if I was a giant that hadn't eaten in ages. There was also the mixed feeling of excruciating pain and pleasure. Sebastian was doing something, of what I had no clue.
But it was also in that instant that a quick image flashed in my head. The image of a death scythe slightly away from my face, and what looked to be a cinematic record in front of me.
It was sudden but it was there. I blinked away the image and noticed Sebastian stood slightly away from me.
"What was that?" he asked.
"Did I... Did I show you something?"
"An image of your record was flashing before my eyes."
It was quiet in the streets of London. My eyes scanned the surroundings as my hands fiddled with each other once again.
"I think... I think my memory was cut from me..."
"What do you mean?"
"I think I can't remember because I never had them in the first place..."
An eyebrow raised on my mate's face. "How is that possible? Wouldn't that mean that you wouldn't be able to remember your parents if that were true?"
"But that's the thing isn't it? I don't remember who did it, but judging from recent events, I'd say it was Undertaker. That, and out of all the reapers we know, he's the only one who has even an inkling on how to mess with others' cinematic records. That and he knew me when I was a kid but I'm not sure how..."
Sebastian stood, listening intently.
"At this rate, the best decision would be to find the Undertaker himself."
I felt my wing twitch hearing the name come from Sebastian's lips with distaste. There was no longer a feeling of discomfort, yet it still felt like a gaping hole that couldn't be fixed.
"Alright. Let's head back."
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"Alright, what's wrong?"
It was happening again. I hadn't spent a full week back in the manor, the place that I have learned to truly call home since the circus incident, and everything was already turning into a disaster.
I stood in front of Mey-rin, the broken dishes surrounding her, once again, and let out a small sigh of irritation.
"I just wanted to help Sebastian by getting the dishes ready for dinner, but I couldn't see what I was grabbing, no I couldn't!"
I took a quick glance at Mey-rin's glasses. They were fogging and cracking, almost completely destroyed.
"It's alright. Go find Sebastian and let him know that we'll need a new set of dishes. Also, tell him that we need to go shopping for new supplies for you all."
"Understood!"
I watched Mey-rin run down the hall, completely ignoring the calls for safety that I was screaming behind her. I already acknowledged her blindness, but I didn't think she could be deaf as well.
The rest of the day went by simply. I cleaned while the young master and the others went out to London for their new supplies and smiled once they came back with their items. Finny had gotten a new hat, which was similar to the last one, except the only difference was that this one was clean and lacking the holes the other one had. He seemed the happiest of his gift.
Mey-rin came back in while blushing, claiming the beauty that Sebastian had was seen too well with the new glasses. I couldn't fault her in her statement. When not being a pain in the ass, I could see the beauty that the demon had.
Snake, however quiet he was, was also blushing while carrying a bigger bag than when he first left with. One of his snakes pulled out, one I was guessing was Woodsworth. More followed the snake out of the bag and slithered away to wherever it was they were going. Snake seemed content as he carried the now empty bag.
Meanwhile, Bard was the only one that didn't need anything, but was still seen chewing the candy that the young earl had gotten him.
"I think it was really nice of you getting everyone everything, young master," I teased.
"You and Sebastian were the one's that suggested it..."
"Yes, but you didn't have to go through with it."
The child tsked causing a small chuckle to escape my throat.
"Celesta, once the tea is prepared head to my office. I have something that I need to discuss with you."
The young lord walked up the stairs.
I glanced over at Sebastian only to find him already walking to the kitchen to prepare the tea.
The air was silent, but I was alright with it. The need to talk was just as absent as the Undertaker was. After the tea was done, we walked to the young master's study and waited for the voice of the child to let us in.
"What's the matter, young master?"
"I'm not sure if you remember, considering it was almost a month ago," he began, "but Undertaker had dropped something while running away." I shook my head, but the earl continued with his explanation almost as if I hadn't. From behind me I could hear Sebastian take something out of his pocket, not too long after, the object that the Earl was speaking of was placed in front of me on the desk.
I blanched at the object and sat in the chair in front of Ciel, not caring that I was breaking servant code.
"Your reaction tells me you know of it."
"Not his but I know what it is. It's a mourning locket..."
"How do you know of it?"
I stopped at the question.
"I'm not sure..."
Ciel's eye bore into me, almost as if he was trying to find the lie within my words.
"To not waste any time, Undertaker had this made with two names that should be familiar to you..."
Another object was placed in front of me from the butler behind. In front of me were two death certificates. Both belonging to Claudia Phantomhive and Naylene Bird.
