I knew the party with Seph wasn't a great idea, but when the car pulls up to the end of my driveway and it turns out to be her sitting passenger princess in Finn's beater car along with some dude I've never seen around before, I work overtime to ignore my internal voice screaming at me and force my legs to carry me into the back seat.
Finn, whose real name is actually Phoenix could only be likened to a serious infection. He's bad news, and if he hits your bloodstream you could consider it game over. Seph was my second longest friendship, and sometimes I wondered if I kept her around because of the strong need for consistency in my life over anything else. She kept me around not because I was I her only voice of reason, but also as a scapegoat. Tonight, she was spending the night at my house as far as her parent's knew, and mine thought we were spending the night at hers.
The guy in the backseat with me was introducing himself, and I knew it was rude, but I couldn't resist the pull to reach out to my true best friend and longest friendship.
I type a quick text to Jade, asking her what her plans tonight are, and by the time my phone is back in my lap, the guy has totally disengaged, blatantly ignoring my existence as he lights a blunt and cracks the window. The music is blasting in the car, I can't hear my phone ding the text notification only see the screen light up as the reply comes in.
Jade: They're calling for a bonfire meeting tonight because it's finally not raining. Fingers crossed it rains us out and I can come back home early. I'm working on a new project you'll love when you come see us. Are you doing summer or December this year?
Jade: Just asked mom if she knew when you were coming and she told me in her dreams it would be both. I think she misses having another girl around LOL
Me: I think I'm coming for xmas break but have to ask, I miss you ALL xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoooooooooxxxxxx
Jade Huron is the chronic middle child, sandwiched between two older boys and a younger brother who all seem to become far more rowdy as they grow up, not less. As far as we knew, Leah, her mom was the only woman who has ever phased, and like me, none of her kids seemed to be showing signs of phasing in the future. She's been my best friend since before I can remember, and one of my first memories is video chatting with her when we were still in elementary school and my mom had moved us to study her Master's at UCLA.
I never quite understood why my parents never worked out. They had gotten pregnant with me fairly young, but I knew some of parents in the pack had fallen pregnant even younger and still worked out. All I knew was by the time I was seven my mom had moved us to LA, dad was married to someone else and my half brother, Coy, was barely even a year younger than I was. It was obviously messy and the worry of how it was perceived was likely a big motivator for mom to make such a big move.
Like it's muscle memory, once we get close enough to start seeing lines of cars parked on the street in a run-down neighborhood, I pull out my pocket mirror. Checking my makeup, adding lip plumping gloss and musing my face-framing layers is all second nature, something that feels hallow and over-practiced.
To be the best, you need to have armor. Considering Finn is with us, I know she'll be all over him tonight. I'll be on my own in a house full of strangers. Awesome. Not for the first time even today, I find myself missing La Push. My dad was just here to see my showcase at a small art studio, but I miss him and especially miss the easy nights in with Jade. Her programing away at her desk as I sit on her floor with Photoshop open on my laptop. Movie nights with Dad, Coy and Kim. There's a sweet taste on my tongue about something else I feel a longing for there, but I can't place it.
Seph bumps my hip with hers, crystal eyes bloodshot and out of focus.
"We're good, right?" Her bright white teeth flash against slightly smeared lipstick.
"Yeah, we're good."
But she's already stomping away, hurrying after Finn and his friend as they greet a few guys lingering out front on their way inside.
My faux-leather jacket is bright red, something I didn't consider asking about when Seffie invited me because I figured it would be a familiar spot. But this place isn't our usual group of friends, and there's flashes of blue all around that I know isn't unintentional.
Turning to go throw my jacket inside the car, my frustration peaks when it's locked. Are you fucking kidding me? The one time he locks his car could be the one time it'd save my life. Rolling back my shoulders, I take a deep breath and try to reassure myself everything is going to be fine. My phone dings, and when I unlock it, it's a picture from Coy.
My half brother looks just like our dad. His head is tilted to touch Jade's, their smiles big and eyes bright from the bonfire I know is behind the phone.
I zoom in to someone behind them. He's wearing a beige Henley and black jeans. A soda is in his hand and head tilted back with mouth open in a wide laughing smile. Sharp jawline and round cheekbones, wavy hair that looks almost deep, dark red, possibly black though. My fingers itch for my camera, but I swear I catch sharp, long fangs in his smile. They're glittering white. It gives me pause, but his lips are a rosey red. Just the lighting, maybe. Its clearly messing with his hair color, so other shadows causing tricks is completely possible.
I send back a string of hearts and a few bonfire themed emojis in reply, my soul feeling heavy.
I shrug the jacket off, leaving it on the trunk of the car before intentionally strutting on my walk to the door. Confidence is key, always. Everything is going to be fine, it's just another random party.
Turns out, it wasn't going to be fine, and that it wasn't a run-of-the-mill Friday night party.
The way Finn got the invite to the party is that his friend who went with us is affiliated, and my red jacket was seen as a threat. The second I walked through the front door, three girls were on me. I've been in a few fight in my life, but never three on one. It wasn't pretty.
Everything is a blur after that first hit. Seph and Finn dragging me to the car bloody and battered, them banging on my front door until my stepdad answers the door. The ambulance and cops. The questions, scans, bloodwork. Mom's wails and screams still ring sharp in my brain the morning after, as they're wheeling me out to the car.
I've been cleared with as close to a clean bill of health possible in this type of situation. No concussion, no broken bones or need for any prolonged stay.
I'm bruised, and a few cuts from rings. My cheekbone has a cut, and the slope where my under eye curmes into my nose is split open, too. There's scratches from nails on the back of my arm that needed cleaned out and sting each time I move it.
I'm almost asleep in the back seat of the car, when it rolls to a stop and my door is pulled open. I blink slowly, exhaustion clouding over my brain.
Dark eyes, framed with wrinkles that come with the pressure of protecting an entire community and laughter are frantic as they take me in.
Instantly, my eyes are filled with hot tears. Salt stinging the slice on my cheek through the stitches.
"Dad." I cry out, giving myself over to the fear and frustration as he reaches for me, unbuckling my seatbelt and cradling me to him as I sob.
"Hey, baby. I've got you, I've got you." His rumbling voice is raspy, the heat pulsing off him and slight tremble in his arms as he holds me giving away that my shaken up state is reciprocated. Once he tucks me into bed, sitting on the edge as he runs his fingers through to untangle some of my knotted and matted hair, I start to doze.
"I missed you." I whisper into my pillow, eyelids far too heavy to fight any longer.
"I'm not going anywhere." He murmurs.
When I fall sleep, it's immediately into a dream of a wolf with shades of rust-red and black streaked fur looking back at me from its place sitting on the beach. Eyes a shocking mix of deep forest green and gold, each eye sharing the two vivid colors like yin-yang symbols.
It's late evening when I wake up, stiff and sharp pain all over my body now that the pain medication has worn off.
My mom and dad are both sitting on one of the couches when I manage to make my way through, sights set on the kitchen.
"Pizza's in here, Junebug." My mom's voice is strained and tense enough to sound shrill.
"Why are you guy's sitting like this is some kind of intervention?"
My joke falls flat, and my carved smile goes with it.
"Juno..." My dad starts, trailing off, "grab a bite first. I'll get you some water."
He wipes his hands on his jeans as he stands, and seeing him nervous has me on edge. Paul Lahote is many things, but never nervous.
The living room is set up with two couches facing ine other, two chairs on one side, facing towards the fireplace that's on the opposite side.
"You know how much I love you Junebug? How much I just want what's best for you, yeah?" Mom asks quietly, a teary smile on her face.
A year ago, a duh sound would have left my mouth in reply to this.
"Of course, I do." The lie stings the roof of my mouth as I say it.
I know my mom loves me, but she's always seemed to have other, more important things to focus her attention on. School, climbing the latter in Public Relations, her relationships and now marriage.
"Reggie is on the phone with a lawyer, seeing as a video of the brawl made its way to social media." Mom states, taking a sip from a large wine glass.
"The school called, and heavily implied we see to damage control before you start school there this fall."
"You guys should have just let them decline my application then," I shrug halfheartedly as I pick the green olives off my pizza into a pile to eat first.
"Don't be ungrateful for the strings he had to pull for you to get in, Juniper." Her voice is sharp.
"Strings I never asked to be pulled!"
"Hey, hey, Juno." Dad's voice is warm as he hands me a glass of water.
"I never wanted to go to a private school." I reiterate, taking a sharp breath in.
"Because your old school was so much better." Mom mutters with an eyeroll.
"At least I felt welcome there. This place is like some sort of cult. You have to know someone who knows someone just to get a nod of acknowledgement walking in your own neighborhood."
"What has gotten into my daughter? Sneaking out, getting into fights, yelling at me?" Mom's voice booms.
"I am your daughter. Sit pretty, have a backbone, but listen to everyone's demands. Be better, gut the poison out of yourself and serve it on a fucking platter." It feels like I'm spewing acid, but it just keeps coming.
I throw my plate onto the closed pizza box, no longer hungry.
"Are you not happy here, baby?" Dad's voice is full of concern.
"I... don't know." No. Yes? God, all I know is that everything is closing in.
My parents exchange a long, heavy look. Despite everything, they've always been a solid unit when it comes to the co-parenting game. Always setting aside any unresolved issues to support me, but I can see it now. The resentment and accusation in dad's eyes speaks louder than any shouting ever has.
"Not lately, no." My voice is meek.
"I think it's time to unshelve the topic of Juno coming to live on the reservation. It would be good for her to reconnect with her family and heritage." Dad rubs his hands together, adjusting on the couch facing my mom.
My mouth parts slightly, watching them glare daggers across the coffee table. I should say something. Anything. But the air between them feels flammable. Reconnect with my extended family and heritage. I have no clue where I'd even start with that, but there's this warm zing that makes a soothing path up and down my spine at the idea.
"Okay." I hear myself say it from somewhere disconnected from my body more than actively speaking it.
Both their necks jerk their heads toward me so quickly, I wince.
"Okay?" They both parrot back, tones polar opposite of the other's. I sit up straighter, back still tingling in that soothing up and down motion as I nod.
This moment feels bigger than just the present. The air clogged with a wide range of emotions and gravitational pulls, and I swear I can feel a hum from somewhere under our feet. My mom never talked much about her parents, friends, or general upbringing on the reservation. But she told me many stories of their legends when I was young. I can remember us curled up in a dorm room specifically made for a parent and their children at UCLA as she told me about the legend of the wolves who kept the tribe safe from other supernatural beings. Last summer, I watched my half-brother phase into a wolf. I've spent so many nights wondering what other legends may be true, what I haven't heard of yet.
My parents clash eyes for a moment, before both nodding.
"Okay." We all repeat in unison.
It's later on, back in bed, I text Coy again.
Me: Who is that guy behind you guys?
Coy: Huh?
Coy: Dude. That's all you have to say? Are you OK?
Me: In the picture. Who is he?
Coy: Renzo. FR tho, u good?
Me: Yeah, all good
