They say your entire life flashes before your eyes before you die. But they don't tell you what you see when you're watching someone else die. I feel like every memory of my time with Peeta replays in my mind as tears come to my eyes.
"Peeta!" I yell as I drop to the ground next to him, no longer caring about reaching the mansion, or killing Snow. This is because of me, and my selfishness. This war could have been ended without me being here. We could have declined ever being on this mission in the first place, but I was selfish, and wanted my chance at killing Snow. I wish I could go back, and change my decision. It's always easy to say that after the fact.
"Katniss, listen," he says. He wipes my tears from my eyes before he says anything else. "I'm okay, it's okay. Help me up."
Gale and I help him, and I try to tell myself that him talking is a good thing, but there's so much blood and nowhere to take him. His face has lost all of its color.
"Bring me to the shops, we need to find cover," he says as he limps over with the help of us. Gunshots still fire, and we're such easy targets, but that doesn't stop any of us. We make it to the shop walls and set him down.
"What do we do, Katniss?" Gale asks. I try to think, but my mind can't get the thought of Peeta dying out of it.
"I don't know," I say. "We need a tourniquet, he's bleeding out."
"He could lose his other leg Katniss," Gale says quietly.
"He could lose his life!" I say, almost angrily. He doesn't deserve that, but I'm stressed, and I honestly don't know what to do. I look around, trying to find someone to help, someone who knows how to save Peeta, but nobody is coming. It's just as Snow said.
War. Terrible war.
I pull the scarf off my face, no longer worried about staying hidden, or protecting myself from the cold. Let a peacekeeper find me. My only concern now is saving Peeta.
I tie the scarf tightly around his upper thigh, above the bullet hole. It may have hit the artery, because the bleeding won't stop no matter how much pressure I put on it. He tries not to react, but I know he's in pain.
Gunfire continues around us. It doesn't seem to stop, even as the rebels close in on the mansion. Once they gain control of that, the war is over. Snow will be captured, and publicly executed for all of his crimes.
I use one of my arrows to twist the knot, just like I did in the Games. He seems to think the same. "Brings back memories, huh?" he asks sarcastically. I'm glad he's so calm, because I'm not at all.
"Katniss!" I hear a voice yell from behind me, barely even audible. I only hear it because I recognize that voice. I would be able to recognize it anywhere. "Katniss!"
"Prim?" I turn around, seeing my sister running towards us, in her white medic jacket. This doesn't make sense. She reaches us and immediately gets to work.
"He's lost a lot of blood already," she says as she ties a second, more professional tourniquet right above the first one I did. "But he should make it. I need help getting him back to the hospital we've set up in the Capitol."
I take one last look at the mansion, not even four blocks from us now. The rebels are practically there, I can see the last of the peacekeepers out front of the mansion fighting back, but it's no use. The war is practically over.
I help Gale pick Peeta up and support him as he limps towards the makeshift hospital the rebels have set up. A large tent with tables and beds lining the wall. Once Peeta is placed on a bed, another doctor gets to work on his leg.
"Why are you here?" I ask Prim when she comes back to Gale and me. "You should be in District 13, safe."
"I wanted to help, and President Coin allowed it," she says. "I've been moving up the ranks at the hospital, and I guess they thought I was ready for the combat zone."
Primrose, who is not even fourteen years old yet, allowed to be on the frontlines of a warzone? Of course Coin would be the one to allow it. I recall Boggs' response when I admitted I hadn't put much thought into Snow's successor.
"If your immediate answer isn't Coin, then you're a threat. You're the face of the rebellion. You may have more influence than any other single person. Outwardly, the most you've ever done is tolerated her."
Coin must have realized once I survived making it inside the Capitol that I might survive the infiltration of the Capitol. She wouldn't have her martyr. So she sent Prim, knowing the risks of sending a thirteen year old girl into a warzone. Because if Prim died, then that would drive me over the edge. I would be labeled mentally unstable, diminishing my influence on the election. Because my family's well being, and my mental health matters less to her than her position in the government. I wouldn't have even had to see it in person, there were probably hundreds of cameras trained on the City Circle. Capturing the moment forever.
Snow, Coin, they're just alike. Ironic. They're two sides to the same coin. Boggs warned me, and he was right. I can't trust anyone.
Am I just being paranoid? Maybe Coin had good intentions, maybe Prim begged her to go on this mission, and Coin finally gave in because of how well she's done in the hospital. I don't know what to think of it all.
"Girl on Fire," I hear Finnick say from across the hospital tent. "Nice of you to come visit. Did you finish the mission? Did you kill Snow?" I turn my head to see him lying in his own hospital bed, with bandages wrapped around his head. He looks rough, but at least he made it.
"No," I say. He doesn't respond, other than a sympathetic look. "It's okay. Revenge comes in many forms. And I think the best revenge I can get on Snow is living my life happily, after he tried so hard to strip that from me. From all of us."
"Well said," Finnick says quietly.
"Where's the rest of the squad? Did they all make it?" Gale asks Finnick. He nods, telling us that they're all okay. No casualties, just some minor injuries that have already been treated. Finnick got the worst of it apparently.
From outside the tent, I hear cheering from the few soldiers out there. The war must be over. I guess they've killed Snow.
Something feels so underwhelming about this moment. It's like I thought the fall of the Capitol would somehow get us even with everything they've done to us. But it doesn't. And it never will.
It won't bring my father back. It won't bring Rue or Thresh back. It won't bring Vick or John back. It won't bring Leeg 2 or Johanna back. It doesn't make up for all of the pain and suffering the Victors have gone through after the Games. It doesn't make up for their attempt at hijacking Peeta's brain. It doesn't bring back Cinna or Portia.
I'm glad the war is over, but we lost so much in the process that victory feels wrong to even celebrate.
I've been informed that President Snow has been captured, not killed. Surprisingly, Coin has given me the honor of ending his life. She wants it done publicly, with an arrow to the heart.
I don't know if this is a poor attempt at gaining my support for an upcoming election, as if her letting me do this is a favor I'll have to repay. Or maybe she's a fan of theatrics, and this will give the best show for the nation.
It all started with me, right? It's a form of poetic justice if it ends with me as well.
But that isn't fully true. It didn't start with me, I didn't begin this rebellion. If I had the choice two years ago, I wouldn't have been the mockingjay. All I wanted was to protect my sister. Everything that came after that is the product of the people around me.
Cinna made me the 'Girl on Fire', Peeta made us the 'Star Crossed Lovers from District Twelve,' and it was a combination of Madge's mockingjay pin and Rue's singing to them that made me the 'Mockingjay'.
Nevertheless, I'll gladly be the one to put Snow down.
He's requested to see me, to speak with me one last time. They have him locked up in his own greenhouse, filled with the scent of roses. If it were up to me, he'd be locked up somewhere far worse than that.
I denied the request. I have nothing left to say to that man. And there isn't a thing in this world I want to hear from him either. I don't want an explanation for his crimes, nor do I want an apology if that's what he's thinking. I want him gone for good, so we can rebuild what he spent so long destroying.
Once the mansion was taken over, the rebels were redirected there. There's heat, plenty of rooms to house all of the rebels, and more food than any of us know what to do with. I don't like being in the mansion, not at all, but I don't really have a choice.
Peeta's leg was thankfully saved, and he won't have any complications during his recovery. It might be some time before he can walk fully again, but that isn't slowing him down. He's been up and moving on crutches.
Today is the day President Snow dies. Effie has been tasked with remaking me to Beauty Base Zero, since my prep team unfortunately didn't survive the war. I know they were Capitol, but a small part of me feels sad for them.
After Effie finishes preparing me for my 'big, big, big day,' she tells me that I've been summoned to a meeting. I'm expecting to see Plutarch and a camera crew, waiting to tell me how to stand when I shoot Snow. Instead, I'm sent into a room where six people sit around a table. Peeta, Finnick, Annie, Beetee, Wiress, and Haymitch. They all wear the gray rebel uniforms from District 13.
"What's this?" I ask.
"We aren't sure," Haymitch replies. "It appears to be the gathering of the remaining Victors."
"We're all that's left?" I ask, surprised.
"The price of celebrity," Beetee says. "We were targeted by both sides. The Capitol killed the Victors they suspected of being rebels. The rebels killed those thought to be allied with the Capitol."
"That is correct," Coin says as she walks into the room. "Sit down please, Katniss." I take a seat next to Peeta. As usual, Coin gets to the point. "I've called you here to settle a debate. Today, we will execute Snow. In the previous weeks, hundreds of his accomplices in the oppression of Panem have been tried and now await their own deaths. However, the suffering in the Districts has been so extreme that these measures appear insufficient to the victims. In fact, many are calling for complete annihilation of those who held Capitol citizenship. However, in the interest of maintaining a sustainable population, we cannot afford this."
"What would you suggest then?" Haymitch asks.
"An alternative has been placed on the table. Since my colleagues and I can come to no consensus, it has been agreed that we will let the Victors decide. A majority of four will approve the plan. No one may abstain from the vote," Coin says. "What has been proposed is that in lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games, using the children directly related to those who held the most power."
All seven of us turn to her. "What?" says Finnick.
"Are you joking?" Peeta asks.
"No. I should also tell you that if we do hold the Games, it will be known it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of your votes will be kept secret for your own security," Coin adds.
"Was this Plutarch's idea?" asks Haymitch.
"It was mine," says Coin. "It seemed to balance the need for vengeance with the least loss of life. You may cast your votes."
"No," Peeta says, a little angrily. "After everything we've been through because of these Games, to do that to someone else's children? I vote no."
"I'm not against revenge," Wiress says. "I vote yes."
"As do I," Finnick says. "Snow sold me for years. I'd like to see how his granddaughter does in the Games." I'm surprised by this, but I can't say I blame him.
"I vote no," Annie says quietly.
"While it would set a bad precedent, I vote yes," Beetee says. Peeta looks even more upset. "We need to start viewing each other as equal, and the only way to do so is for them to experience the Games as well."
"This is why we rebelled!" Peeta says.
"We're down to Katniss and Haymitch," Coin says.
Was this what it was like, seventy four years ago? Did a group of people sit around a table like this one, and discuss initiating the Hunger Games? All the people we've lost, yet here we are today. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change now.
I weigh my options carefully before answering. "I vote yes… for Rue."
"Haymitch, it's up to you," Coin says.
Peeta shoots a glare at me I don't even recognize, but once my eyes meet his, he stops. Is he pretending? I can't tell what he's thinking.
I can feel Haymitch watching me. This is the moment we find out how alike we are, and how well he understands me.
"I'm with the Mockingjay," he says.
"Excellent. That carries the vote," Coin says. "Now we really must take our places for the execution."
As she passes me, I have one more request. "Can you make sure he's wearing a white rose over his heart?" I ask.
She smiles. "Of course. He'll know about the Games as well."
I'm directed to my position, and walk out to the sounds of cheers. I make my short walk through the City Circle, passing guards and officials as I make my way towards where Snow will be killed. Gale hands me a sheath, with a single arrow inside as I walk by. "It's supposed to be symbolic. The final shot of the war."
I take my position and wait for Snow to come out. They tie his hands behind his back on a metal post ten yards in front of me. No wonder they didn't make me practice. I couldn't miss it if I tried to.
I search his eyes, looking for a sign of anything. Remorse, fear, anger. I see nothing but amusement. As if he knows something I don't.
The snowflakes fall slowly as I pull the string of my bow back, aiming the arrow directly at the former President's heart. The irony couldn't be any more perfect. Snow is falling.
I hold the string back, feeling the hum tells me it's ready for me to release it, but my mind tells me not to. He wants me to. He wants me to kill him, the smile on his face and that look in his eyes tell me so. And besides, the cycle doesn't end with him. That's what he's thinking right now.
I aim my bow up slightly, and release the string, firing an arrow directly into President Coin's heart. She falls off the balcony, dead.
Screams in the audience almost drown out the sounds of Snow's laughter. Blood spews from his mouth as he laughs, a disgusting sight to see until the guards disrupt my view of him.
Assassination of the nation's new president. I'm sure to face torture, interrogations, and public execution. I'll have to yet again say goodbye to those I love. Peeta, Prim, Gale, my mother. But I did it for them.
"Good night," I whisper to my bow, feeling the humming stop. I try to bite into my sleeve, aiming for the pill, but instead my teeth sink into flesh. Peeta's eyes meet mine as he pulls his hand back, ripping the pill off my sleeve in the process. Blood drips from his fingertips.
"I can't lose you," he says as I'm dragged away by guards. I don't resist. I know my crimes, and I know my punishment. I accept both.
In the mansion, I'm handcuffed and blindfolded, and dragged along through hallways and elevators. Once I'm finally let go, and my blindfold is removed, I find myself inside the Tribute Center, where I spent my time before the Games. It's bare, no sheets or clothes in any of the drawers. I guess they don't want me killing myself. My death needs to be public, for all of Panem to see.
My time in the Capitol seems never ending. I can't tell how long I've been held in captivity for. An avox comes and checks on me daily, bringing food and medicine, most of which I don't eat.
I spend most of my time thinking about my family. Thinking about Peeta and how he must view me. Did him and Haymitch talk about why I did what I did? Haymitch must have known, otherwise he wouldn't have voted for the Games. I did that to gain Coin's trust. What about Prim and my mother? Surely they miss me. I know I miss them. Does Peeta spend days with them, cooking dinner or baking for them? I've missed so much of what could have been my new life.
Was it worth it? Certainly. Nobody will ever know, but I might have saved this nation from repeating a costly mistake. It had to be done.
I don't know how much time has gone by when Haymitch enters my room. I don't even turn around at first, thinking it's the avox again, until I hear his voice.
"Come on, Sweetheart," he says. "Time to go home."
Home. A place I never thought I'd see again. I assume he means District 12. Because he walks with me to the train station in silence as we wait for the train to arrive.
I have questions though. And he most likely has answers. "Why are they letting me go?" I ask.
He smiles for a second before responding. "Sometimes, Sweetheart, people can make the right decisions. Our new President, Paylor from District 8, has decided that you should be pardoned. She's dealt with Coin for years. She knows exactly why you did it."
"Did you?" I ask. I've been curious since that vote as to whether or not Haymitch knew what I was thinking. Why else would he have voted with me?
"I figured you had something figured out," he said. "Even Peeta knew. I think if you didn't, Peeta would have killed her himself. We both knew that after everything we've been through, none of us would want the Games to come back. So for you to vote for them, we knew there were different motives."
"You guys know me so well," I say sarcastically.
"I guess you can put it that way," he says sarcastically. "Look, one of the stipulations for your pardon is that you can't leave District 12 for a while. A couple years. And you have to stay in touch with Dr. Aurelius, over the phone, until he thinks you're mentally better."
"I'm fine mentally," I say defensively. "I mean, as fine as one can be after a war like this."
"I know," he says. "But your pardon will go over smoothly in Panem if they make it out like you were crazy."
"I see." The train comes to a stop in front of us. As we board alone, I'm reminded of everything from my Games. The table where Peeta and I ate meals. Each of our rooms. I was so cold to him when we were first reaped as tributes. One of my many regrets.
Yet somehow, we still ended up together. Possibly fate, or possibly a product of our environment, but either way, I'm happy. I can't wait to see him again.
Prim and Peeta wait for us as we get off the train. It's been so long since I've seen either of them, but nothing has changed between any of us.
Prim has been living with Peeta in District 12. My mother went to District 4 to help build a new hospital. She can't deal with living here anymore. Too many painful memories, and now that she doesn't have to, she's chosen to live elsewhere. I'm happy for her. She's doing some good in the world. Besides, she's promised to visit once District 12 has started to be rebuilt.
Prim on the other hand decided she wanted to help rebuild District 12. She also couldn't leave me and Peeta. Gale is in District 2, working in the military now. He apparently promised Peeta he'd be back to visit once I was freed.
I will say, District 12 feels so much different now. I used to run freely through the town, but now, it feels like a ghostland. People have come back, helping clean up and rebuild what once was. I hate even going into the town anymore, seeing the piles of bodies they still dig up. Thousands of dead families we once knew.
Madge Undersee didn't come back to District 12 either. She was eventually informed of her father's death. I feel sorry for her and how it all happened.
We try to get back into a routine now that we're home. I hunt. Peeta bakes. We both go into town and volunteer to help rebuild. Peeta holds me at night when the nightmares come to my dreams. I still hear the hissing of the mutts, and the gunfire in the Capitol. And I hold him when the flashbacks get to him. We're a team, and we always will be.
Today, we make our way down to the town square to help clean up the rest of the buildings. The district has been making some good progress. Only a few more buildings left. One that I've been worried about is Peeta's family's bakery, which is the next on the list.
I wanted to stay home today, to save us from a lot of painful memories, but he insisted he needed to help, and I'd never make him go through this alone. The rubble and ash are an image I'll never get out of my head.
I can see on his face how he's feeling, what he's thinking. I feel so sorry for him. He didn't get to say goodbye, didn't get to tell them he loved them. He's been through so much, and yet he's still so loving and kind. Haymitch is right. I don't deserve this boy.
He tries not to let it show as we clean up what's left of the bakery, brick by brick. By the end of the day, as the sun begins to set, all that's left is a single oven, burnt and damaged, but still standing.
We found a few things in the rubble that Peeta wanted to keep. A picture of his family in a cracked picture frame, but that can be replaced. His parents' wedding rings.
"Are you okay?" I ask when we get home. He answers honestly.
"No," he says with tears in his eyes. "But I will be. One day."
I hold my arms out, inviting him into them as we lay on the couch in his living room in front of the fire. "It's a lot to recover from," I say quietly. "But if there's one thing you've taught me, it's that we can always keep fighting."
He kisses my cheek and holds me tighter. "You love me. Real or not real?"
There is no doubt in my mind when I reply, "so very real. Always."
District 12 will take months to rebuild. They plan to build a factory for medicine here. Hundreds of people have come back now, because whatever has happened, this is our home, and it always will be. We continue to rebuild, and continue to grow.
A/N: The end of the war! Pretty similar to SC version, so I'm sorry for that, but it was already perfect the way she wrote it.
A couple notes: I didn't utilize Johanna enough in this story, so her death made way more sense than Finnick's, so I chose her.
Secondly, would you guys like one more chapter, or an epilogue? Let me know! I have a couple ideas either way, but other than that, this story is finally almost finished!
Third, I have some ideas for new stories that I'd like to write, but I need some feedback on this one first. I think this one turned out decent. Thank you all for coming along for the ride with me, it's been a hectic few years. Love you all! -JayOnFF
