Chapter 22

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime -Lose Yourself, Eminem.

Jacob

Jasper took his fight as easy as always, and I got gloved and ready for mine. Once I finished warming up, I stood by the bleachers, throwing air punches and waiting for Seth's upcoming match.

Someone's sight tapped me. I knew who it was. I smiled, pivoting in her direction to see her better. The way she grinned at me made me want to go over and kiss her before my fight, but we were keeping it low-key, which proved pleasurable in its own right. A certain amount of excitement came with sneaking around, stealing short make-outs every chance we found, which was more than once a day since the night of the bonfire. I'd practically moved in with Aunt Sue and Uncle Harry just so I could see Bella everyday.

When Seth was up, I moved a folding chair close to his corner and relaxed. I'd watched him and Jasper spar with each other; he was in great shape. I wasn't worried. He started off slow, but he was calculating just fine. Almost immediately, I recognized the guy was open for a right hook. I always waited before I called out to help someone, just to give them a chance to figure out their opponents on their own. I grinned-there you go-cheering Seth on as he spotted Riley's weakness, found his rhythm, and started hammering him. I was positive he took round one.

When Seth returned to the corner, I stood by the ropes, hearing Ben coach him to keep his hands up better. Seth went back out and finished with round two in the bag. The bell sounded, ending the round, but just as the referee was yelling, "break," Seth dropped both arms to turn; in the same instant, I saw a late punch from Riley, already flying, about to connect.

Protect yourself at all times. The punch landed, and Seth went down.

I leaped to my feet, stunned, as Seth struck the canvas. He fell, sitting straight up in the shape of an L. For a second, I thought it only knocked him down. He turned to look at me, in slow motion it seemed like, then his eyes rolled behind his head, and he fell straight backward. The rest of his body smacked flat against the canvas. My heart started pounding as the referee began counting him out. I lifted my hands to cup my mouth, realizing I had gloves on, and hollered over and over. "Get up, Seth!"

Jasper was suddenly at my side. "It was after the break, Jake! He got hit after the break!"

By count number four, Seth sat up. By count number seven, Seth stood up. By count number ten, he was holding both of his fists high enough for the Ref to allow him to continue. He walked, with a slight visible wobble, back to the corner for a one-minute rest and, unsteady, plopped himself on the stool.

Ben asked him if he was okay, and he nodded. Jasper gave him some water, and he drank and spit. Ben looked deep into his eyes to make sure he was alert.

Feeling edgy, I swallowed. "You good, Seth?"

He nodded again, so he seemed fine to me. The sixty-second break ended, and the bell sounded for round three. They touched gloves. This time, Seth launched into an awkward swinging. The way he was moving didn't look normal. He was backing up, and he wasn't landing punches. Leah and Bella were sitting in the front row with a perfect view. Worried, I sat down in the open chair beside Bella, concentrating on what I was observing in the ring.

Seth appeared as if he was stumbling in there. Something's wrong. "His feet aren't moving right," I muttered to myself. He's still fucked up! I popped up, out of my seat as his head snapped back again. Ben must have noticed what I had been noticing, because as soon as I stepped beside him, intending to say watch how he's moving, Ben pulled the white towel from his back pocket and tossed it into the ring.

The fight was over. Riley won by corner retirement.

Jasper and Quil quickly unlaced Seth's headgear, lifting it off him. Ben asked him how he was doing again. He nodded, mumbling something that sounded like, "I'm all right."

The doctor came over, shined a flashlight in Seth's eyes, and asked, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

Seth gave the correct answer, so the doctor cleared him to get out of the ring.

I spotted Leah crying. Bella was on the verge of tears. They came to where we were standing. I wanted to take Seth into the locker room, but my fight was next. Jasper couldn't do it because he was helping Ben in the corner.

"Go with him to the locker room, Leah," I said.

"Come with me, Bella."

Bella widened her eyes as if asking for my permission. That was a little strange. I smiled and nodded at her.

"I'll be right back," she said.

I felt restless because of Seth, and I was doing my best to stay composed. My focus was on finishing my fight as soon as possible just to check on him. I planned on ending it the moment I stepped into the ring.

My guy was new, from one of the Seattle teams. Roule. He was shorter but beefier than me. I knew he was inexperienced from watching him hit the pads. I could always tell how skilled someone was by how they hit the pads.

They called my name. I shuffled for the introduction and met the Ref in the center. I heard the bell; we touched gloves, and I moved toward him, punching at his glove, and waited for him to come in on me in return. We engaged, throwing our first exchange of punches. He lifted both hands upward, high in front of his face, with his elbows a little too far out, exposing his entire body. He was less experienced than I'd first thought. Cake. I threw a quick couple of jabs to his head, watching as he lifted his guards more. Then I switched to the body, alternating three hard, fast thrusts into his ribs. Pow. Pow. Pow. The gruff sound of a painful wheeze jutted from his lungs; his mouthpiece popped out from between his teeth and fell to the canvas. He dropped to one knee, gasping for air, and couldn't get back up. Twenty seconds was all it took. It took longer for me to get free of my gear.

Quil, Jasper, and Embry met me as soon as I climbed out of the ring. Seth's fight pissed everyone off. They chatted about how the punch happened after the break. Meaning, they thought the fight officials should have given Seth five minutes for a complete recovery. I wasn't sure if it happened after or during the break.

As we headed into the locker room, we passed Riley in the hallway.

"Hey, dude! You got lucky with that after the break shot," Quil said, stepping in front of him. "Seth kicked your ass all over the ring."

A smile twitched Riley's lip. "Yeah? Well... Maybe he should learn to keep his hands up till the Ref breaks. Maybe you should teach him."

Quil poked his chest toward Riley. I stepped in front of Quil and Riley backed up, fear in his eyes.

"Good fight, man," I said, extending my hand out to him, diffusing the situation.

He narrowed his eyes, hesitant but reached out and shook it. "Thanks." He smiled.

I stepped back, out of his way, keeping myself between Quil and him, and let him walk by. It was disrespectful not to give a guy his props when he won. Quil shoved me from behind... He didn't understand that.

As soon as I pushed the locker room door open, I felt a weird sensation of-I don't know what-I just walked in on. Bella was blushing. I tried making eye contact, but she lowered her eyes from me and hurried out the door.

"What happened?" I asked, referring to Bella.

When I witnessed the glossed sheen in Seth's eyes, my concern changed. The blank expression that turned to emotional upset-ness cut through my heart. "Seth? Are you okay, brother?"

Seth's eyes welled. I remembered the feeling aired on his face all too well. It hurts bad enough just to lose. But getting knocked out, and in front of your friends and family, has got to feel a million times worse. "I don't know, man," Seth uttered with a lumpy throat, fighting to hold in his tears. "I've never been hit so hard in my life. It rocked me out of my mind."

Seth's watery eyes and hurting voice brought moisture to my own. "You had him, brother." I hugged him, becoming lumpy throated myself, and trying to mask it. "You were winning. If it wasn't for that late punch." My words didn't come out as steady as I would have liked.

"Is that what happened? I got knocked out with a late punch?"

"Nah, Ben threw in the towel," Jasper said. "You didn't get knocked out. Personally, I think Ben jumped the gun. It looked to me like you were coming back."

"Sh- I don't remember any of it." He hung his head. "All I remember is hearing the bell, hearing the referee yell 'break', and that's it."

I gave Seth my version of the events. None of us agreed about what we saw. He amazed us when he revealed he didn't remember fighting part of the last round, Ben throwing in the towel, the doctor checking him over, or even walking into the locker room after it was over. "I came to, and I was..." he stopped talking.

I remembered Bella. "And you were...?"

"I was... I... was nothin'." A weird expression accompanied his stutter. "It's all a blur."

Charlie and Leah radioed Harry, so he left work early and came to pick up her and Seth. "Doc said it was more shock than anything," Harry said. "Are you staying at the house again tonight? I'll make sure Sue leaves the door open for you."

I nodded. "I'll be home as soon as we're done here."

Jasper had an infatuation with this girl named Maria ever since she had asked him to dance one time. After his fight, he impressed her so much, she asked him out. He didn't think twice about jumping in with her for the ride back to Forks. The rest of us stayed and helped Old Ben clean up the Center.

There were so many fights the match ended at ten, and it was close to eleven by the time I got Bella home. I parked across the street from her house to spend time with her before she went inside. Leaning over, I found her lips with mine. Then blinding headlights beamed through my front window, pulling us apart.

Maria drove into Bella's driveway, and Jasper climbed out. I wondered where they came from. They left way before we did. He went straight inside, not appearing to have noticed my car. We hadn't told him about us yet, but I had my suspicion that he may have known, just not by word of mouth.

"What was Leah complaining about?" I asked. Because before she left with Harry, I'd overheard her telling Bella that she couldn't believe he was with her. And she never denied having something for Jasper when I teased her about it. "She looked super upset."

"I know. When she went outside to call Harry, she bumped in to Sam and guess who?"

"Emily!"

Bella nodded, substantiating my thoughts about Emily trying to be with Sam. It made me furious to think she was the true reason he broke up with Leah. Gross. She'd already been out with half the team. Sam was a fucking idiot and didn't deserve my little cousin, anyway.

"I'm sorry I missed your fight, Jake."

Reminded of what happened earlier, I asked, "What was up in the locker room? You looked strange, like something was wrong."

She fidgeted and faced the window in silence. Whenever she acted uncomfortable, I became uncomfortable. I stared at her, wondering what the deal was. She redirected herself back toward me, and even though it was dark, I saw her rosy hue emerge. Her eyes fell. "Nothing... I was just upset that I missed your fight, that's all. I shouldn't have gone to the locker room."

"It's fine that you were there for Seth. He needed help. He told us he couldn't remember anything that happened within about a ten-minute time frame after the knockdown."

"Really?"

Her surprise was normal, but her expression hinted at something deeper bothering her, something more than just concern. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't like it. "Okay, what's up?"

"Nothing," she said, "It's just... weird... and it's... dangerous."

"It is weird. The doctor said his behavior was shock, more than injury. He's fine."

"All right." She tied her arms around my neck to kiss me, continuing to exude an odd, troubled vibe that I intended on asking about again. But not at the moment. A couple of seconds later, I forgot all about it.

Whenever she tried to let go of my lips, I started a new kiss that she eagerly fell back into. We were already a little past her curfew. It wouldn't do us any good, getting her into trouble, but I didn't want her to leave. I didn't have a curfew, at least not one from Billy at my house, but I did my best to please my aunt and uncle whenever I stayed with them, so I had to let go of her for real. "You better go inside before they start searching for you."

"Yeah, I know. Are you coming over again tomorrow?"

I'd heard that question a few other times from her already. It was a question that I felt was specifically related to me and last year's stupidity. It brought a load of guilt because I knew she thought about me avoiding her last summer and worried it would happen again.

"Yep, I am." I traced the outline of her jaw with my thumb, immersing myself in her rich, dark eyes. "I'll be here so much, you'll be hiding from me by the end of the summer."

"Never. I might be hiding with you, but I'll never be hiding from you. She gave me a fast kiss and opened the door. "I'll miss you until tomorrow then."

I waited for her to get inside her house before I drove back to Harry's place. Seth was already asleep when I got home, but Aunt Sue was up. I was positive she'd stay up for the next couple of hours, or even all night, to wake Seth up periodically.

While climbing into bed, I thought about the amazing rest of the summer coming. Once we crossed the two hurdles known as Emmett and Seth, that is. Worn out, I dozed off to sleep, blissful and otherwise carefree.

Everything changed overnight. Sue awakened me, telling me my mom was in the hospital. She was sick, and they were running tests. They had already paid for my plane ticket. I had one hour to get packed. They scheduled my flight to leave from Seattle in the next few hours. I put my clothes on, anxious, and went back to La Push to collect my things. My mind was in a million places. I needed to get to California to be with my mom, fast. I felt worried and scared for her. I needed to see Bella, and I also needed to talk to Seth.

Billy and I were in such a rush, I barely convinced him to stop at Bella's house for me to say goodbye. She'd understand, but I didn't know when or if I'd make it back home before summer ended.

Consumed with impatience, I huffed in exasperation as Billy leisurely drove the maximum speed allowed the entire way to Forks-creeping up the road as if going a meager five miles above the legal limit was a crime punishable by death. Leaning over, I made a flagrant glance at the speedometer.

"Calm down, Jake," Billy said. "We're fine."

I ignored him. I didn't feel capable of calming and taking a comfortable breath until I was in the plane, up in the air, and on my way to see my mom.

At last, we turned down Bella's block. I saw her standing on the side of her house, probably looking at the flowers or brushing her hair. Who knew? Good. I had some breathing room. It wouldn't be necessary to go inside to explain my situation to everyone else before I could say goodbye to her.

"Dammit." No such luck, I thought, when I spotted Seth coming from behind her house. So much for a private goodbye.

Billy cast a nosy glimpse at me, but the aggravated grimace plastered on my face most likely deterred the question. Bartering on whether or not to stop, I watched Seth stealing up behind her, and I did not have even a single minute to deal with him.

Dad eased up on the gas as Seth scooped his arms around her from behind. Then, to my disbelief, she wiggled herself around and... Were they in a hug?

Bella's expression in the locker room entered my mind again, causing me to wonder what happened in there. Did Seth confess his undying love to her, or what? Whatever happened, neither of them gave me a straight answer when I asked about it.

Anger flooded my insides. What the fuck? I turned away, toward the opposite window. "Just go!"

The truck jerked forward when Billy startled at my cranky outburst. "We don't have time," I said. I had more pressing concerns to worry about—my sick mom.