Hello again my Emison babes! How is everybody's week going so far? May is mental health awareness month, and I wanted to acknowledge that. I've had my fair share of mental health issues. I want to put it out there that if you have struggled with any mental health illnesses, I'm glad you are here (and glad you're queer ;)). Kind reminder that it's okay to ask for help, especially professional help. In light of that, I want to share one of my many favorite quotes. This one is by Max Ehrmann: "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." I know our lil Emison fandom is minuscule, but I'm glad I get to share this story with each and every one of you. Hopefully it can give you a lil bit of happiness as it does for me. Don't be shy to leave some reviews and chat with me! One last thing! :The Pillow Thoughts series by Courtney Peppernell and her other books has been super precious to me. I've incorporated her poetry into this story, but I want to add a little bit more ~spice~. So, I'm going insert poems at the beginning of every chapter. It'll set an overarching theme beforehand. I'll still occasionally include the poetry in the story itself like I have been doing though. Let me know what you think about that! Thanks for reading. This chapter will be in Emily's POV.

In response to the reviews: •Packersgirl492 , I 100% agree! It's sad seeing the end of an era come to a close, but change is good! I'm happy for Love to get his chance to shine as a starter. What's Wisconsin like? I've never been, so aside from cheese and the Packers, my mind just thinks of That 70's Show when I hear of Wisconsin haha. Also, damn dude! That's extremely impressive. I remember all of the work my sister put into her own thesis/dissertation. That takes a lot of time and hard work. Crossing my fingers for you that the committee approves your proposal! I'm assuming you're involved with education? Either way, hats off to you my friend. Back to the rest of your reviews...yessss we love confident Emily. Her confidence will only continue to grow! Glad you liked their sweet moment at the lake. I enjoyed writing that scene. Lol friends totallyyyyy just check each other out. Completely normal. I used to tell myself that as a little closeted teenager haha. And that date with Paige...well don't shoot me but...just kidding...maybe...? ;) Thanks for your reviews. See you next time! •To the Guest who reviewed, Hi! Welcome! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far. Thanks for your suggestion as well. I have been debating on spacing out the paragraphs recently, so I'm glad you mentioned that. I already had this chapter wrapped up and ready to publish when I received your review. I'll take that into account though, and I'll work on changing that in the next chapters. Hope to see you next time!

~3mison

Chapter Ten: Mirage

"I thought about kissing you today

and yesterday

and the day before that.

I know I'll think about kissing you

tomorrow

and the day after that

and some more days after those days.

I think about kissing you

slowly

and tracing my fingers along

your lips.

I think about kissing you

in your car, in the rain, on your doorstep.

I think about kissing your

dimple, your cheek, your spot.

I think about kissing only you

not anyone else

just you."

- a poem from Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell.

The next Monday...

Emily was patiently waiting for Spencer to arrive at The Brew. The swimmer just got done with her morning run into town, and found their regular spot in the back of the coffee shop. She was silently smiling to herself while drinking her americano, thinking of yesterday. Alison came over to Emily's house after her family got back from church. The two of them sat on Emily's front porch for awhile, chatting about anything and everything. Somehow the topic of sweets got brought up, and both of them decided they wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. During the baking process, Alison couldn't figure out how to turn off Pam's mixer. The blonde tried lifted the arm of the mixer up, but the dough inside splattered all over her shirt and face. Emily was dying laughing at the look of shock on Alison's face. "Emily, I'm going to kill you," Alison glared at her friend who was still laughing hysterically. Emily noticed that familiar playful, devilish look come across the blonde's face. Oh shit. As soon as Emily realized what she was up to, it was too late. Alison grabbed left over flour on the counter and tossed it onto Emily, covering the brunette's own shirt and face. Emily feigned anger to the best of her ability, but couldn't help but laugh from Alison's giggling. The blonde lifted her eyebrow and smirked, "That's what you get for laughing at me," Alison teased, grinning with her dimples showing. In response, Emily reached up and swiped the sugary, sweet dough off of Alison's cheek, and sucked it off her finger in her mouth. "At least you got the good stuff on you," Emily murmured while finishing the dough on her finger, "Flour doesn't taste near as good." Emily's naive and innocent gesture caused the blonde to freeze. Alison didn't respond and stared at Emily with a look the brunette couldn't quite place. Oh god did I cross a boundary? Was that too...intimate? Alison suddenly smirked at her again, "The dough might taste sweeter, but I don't look near as cute as you do with that flour on your face," the blonde said in a flirtatious tone. Is she flirting with me? Before Emily could even finish her thought, Alison licked her own pointer finger, getting it wet, and wiped off flour on Emily's nose. The two held an intense gaze for a matter of seconds before Alison turned around. "Come on, help me clean up, silly, before your mom sees," Alison said nonchalantly like nothing even happened. Emily kept replaying that moment in her head. Alison was still a massive question mark for her. Even after everything the blonde said to her, Emily kept questioning where Alison's true feelings lie. Maybe I'm delusional. Maybe I just want to assume she's flirting with me because I still have a enormous crush on her. I've been trying not to think of her in that way. I really have. Her words made it perfectly clear about how she sees me: just a friend. However, her actions don't always make it perfectly clear. She cuddled me when she stayed the night, she held my hand at the lake, she looks at me with these eyes that make me melt. Sometimes, when we are joking around, she'll make these flirtatious comments. It always makes me blush, but every time she does that, she gives me this look like she's studying me. I feel like she knows. That's the scariest part. I wonder if she does it on purpose just to mess with me, but I don't know why she would do that if that's the case. I remember the comment she made about how she was scared I was going to get a crush on her. As much as that hurt me, she was right. I do have a crush on her. My stupid self still does in spite of every hurtful word she said to me. If she does know, why would she flirt with me on purpose? I'm not a complete idiot to know when someone is flirting, but maybe she talks that way to everyone. I'm probably just overthinking this again. She wouldn't be flirting with me because I'm a girl, duh. She likes boys. Ugh. I'm in way too deep, but I can't stop it. I know being around her is just going to keep hurting me. I have the choice to walk away. I can't though. I love being around her and joking with her and laughing with her. I love everything about her. Most of all, I love being her friend. She makes me feel special. As much as it hurts to be around her, having her in my life as my friend is more important.

Emily noticed Spencer was on her way over to the couch with a coffee in hand, stopping her incessant thoughts about Alison. "Hey hey!" Spencer greeted cheerily. "Hey Spence! I've missed you," Emily said as she sat up to hug her friend. "I've missed you too! I feel like we've been passing ships lately," Spencer replied before sitting down, "So, how have things been at home?" The day after she came out to her dad, Emily called Spencer and told her all about it. Emily sighed, "It's been okay I guess. Mom is still acting like she's a victim, but their private conversations about me have finally stopped. I'm so relieved I finally told them, but ever since then, nothing feels the same. I'm tired of tip toeing around my own house." Spencer put her hand on Emily's thigh, "I'm sorry Emily. I promise it'll get easier with time," she said trying to comfort her friend. "Alison said the same thing, so I hope you're both right," Emily replied. Spencer looked at her with concern after the mention of Alison. "So, you're still hanging out with her then?" Spencer asked in a accusatory tone. Emily chose not to tell Spencer about their hookup and the aftermath of it all. Partly because Emily knew Spencer would tell her she told her so, and partly because Emily was embarrassed. "Yeah, every once in a while. It's been nice," Emily admitted quietly. Spencer's eyes focused on the front of the store, "Well, speak of the devil," she said sarcastically. Emily followed Spencer's eyes and noticed Alison ordering her coffee at the front of the store. The brunette's heart started racing after seeing her friend. No matter how many times she saw the blonde, the sight of her never failed to take Emily's breath away. Emily took in the outfit Alison was wearing. The blonde had on a short black sundress, a light jean jacket, nude high heels, and golden hooped earrings. She's so beautiful. After Alison finished ordering her coffee, she glanced over and noticed Emily. Emily waved to her friend, and Alison started walking over to the two on the couch. Oh god she's coming over here. She heard Spencer clear her throat and sit up straighter in response to the blonde headed their way. "Hey Ali!" Emily greeted cheerily once Alison was within earshot. "Hey Em!" Alison looked over to the other brunette beside her friend, "Hi Spencer!" Spencer gave a fake, tight-lipped smile, "Alison," she greeted shortly in return. Alison caught Spencer's closed off vibe and turned back to Emily, "Want to hang out tonight Em?" Emily adjusted her sitting position, feeling awkward from Spencer's eyes boring into her. "I have work tonight, sorry Ali. What about tomorrow night?" Emily asked. "I have a girl's night planned with Hanna tomorrow, but maybe we could do something tomorrow afternoon before your swim practice?" Alison asked sweetly, ignoring Spencer shooting eye daggers at her. "Sure," Emily grinned in agreement to their plans. "Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then, and I'll see you in Biology Spencer," Alison smiled to Emily's friend before walking off. Emily was watching Alison walk out of the coffee shop, before Spencer cleared her throat loudly. Emily looked at Spencer who was raising her eyebrows at her. "So is she oblivious to the massive crush you have on her?" Spencer suddenly questioned her friend. Emily instantly blushed, "Spencer I don't ha-" "Emily even a blind person could see that you have a crush on her. You literally look at her like she hung the moon," Spencer challenged. Emily rolled her eyes in protest, "She's just a frie-" "A friend who's ass you just checked out a second ago?" Spencer cut off Emily again, not letting her friend convince her otherwise. Emily sighed and asked defeatedly, "Are you going to let me talk?" Spencer gestured with her hand that Emily had the floor. "Okay you're right. I do have a crush on her, but before you bite my head off, I know she's straight, alright? And I know that I'm probably going to get my heart broken and it's going to get smashed into a thousand pieces. I don't need you to tell me how stupid I am," Emily sputtered out defensively. Spencer could tell she struck a nerve with her friend, "Emily I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like I'm going to call you stupid for having a crush on her. I just..." Spencer paused, trying to carefully choose her words, "I just care about you. I know that you see her in a different way than I do, but I meant what I said last time. Be careful." Spencer could physically see Emily put up invisible walls of defense around her. "Emily I'm not attacking you or her, okay? If you've found a friend in her that's great, but can I ask...can I ask how you think this friendship is going to go if you have a unreciprocated crush on her though?" Spencer asked her friend as gently as she could. Emily took a large sip of her americano with her eyes furrowed, reflecting on her friend's question. "I don't know," Emily breathed out quietly, "That's what I've been trying to figure out myself." The two sat quietly for a few seconds, both contemplating the situation. "What about Paige?" Spencer inquired. Emily side eyed her, sipping on her americano again, "What about her?" Emily asked. "Have you considered going on that date with her?" Spencer inquired. During their last phone call, Emily told Spencer about Paige apologizing to her and asking her on a date previously this last week. Emily smirked at her friend, "Really? When I told you about her asking me on a date I believe your exact words were: 'A date that involves murdering you'." Spencer smiled at her own words, "Yeah yeah I know what I said. I was just joking though. Who knows, maybe she isn't that bad out of the pool. It wouldn't hurt to give it a try right? It's just one date after all. Going out with her might help you with the whole Alison thing," Spencer glanced down at her phone, "I need to get going though or I'm going to be late for first period." Emily stood up to give her friend a hug goodbye, "Have a good day, I'll see you at swim later," Emily said. "Maybe you can talk to Paige about that date tonight after practice," Spencer suggested after pulling out of their hug, grinning. Emily rolled her eyes again, "Not likely. Bye Spence." "Bye Em!" Emily watched Spencer leave, but her thoughts were swirling, pondering the thought of talking to Paige. Would a date with Paige really help?

Later that day, Emily and Spencer were chatting in the locker room after an intense practice. "Jesus, if coach's goal was to make my legs feel like jello, she succeeded!" Spencer groaned as she was tugging off her swim suit. Emily laughed at her friend's dramatics, "That's why you should come on runs with me in the mornings," Emily proposed. Spencer glared at her, "I'm motivated, but not that motivated." Emily was pulling on sweat pants when one of their teammates came up to her and Spencer. "Hey Emily! Hey Spencer! Killer practice today huh?" Paige said, trying to get a conversation going. "Hey Paige! Yeah you're telling me. I'm going straight home and putting ice packs on my legs," Spencer replied, "See you guys tomorrow!" Spencer said while purposefully walking away, leaving Emily alone with Paige. Emily looked back to Spencer, who gave her a smirk and a wink before disappearing out of the locker room. I'm going to kill her. "So, how are you?" Paige questioned Emily shyly. Emily shut her locker and picked up her duffel bag, "Good, you?" "I'm good, yeah," Paige answered. This is beyond uncomfortable. I really am going to kill Spencer. "So, I was wondering if- if you'd given any more thought about that date?" Paige stammered awkwardly. "Oh...um...yeah about that-" Paige cut off Emily's response, "Listen I know I've been an asshole in the past. Let me make up to you, please? Give me one chance?" Paige pleaded. Should I? Do I really want to? Maybe it's something I need to do. One date wouldn't hurt. Emily paused for a few seconds while adjusting the bag on her shoulder. Paige had a look on her face that seemed like she was constipated or about to shit her pants. "You know what, sure. One date," Emily answered. Paige's eyes lit up, "Really?" "Yeah! How about tomorrow after practice? I don't have work then," Emily offered. "That sounds perfect!" Paige said excitedly, practically bouncing up and down. The two stood smiling each other for a moment, Emily still feeling slightly awkward and nervous. "Okay well I gotta get to work," Emily said and started walking away, "See you tomorrow Paige." Paige smiled hugely, "See you tomorrow Em!" When the swimmer was walking to her car, she thought about the last thing Paige said to her: "Em." Em. Only Ali calls me Em. Spencer occasionally does, but that's Ali's thing. It felt weird hearing her say that. Maybe I need to get used to hearing 'Em' come out of someone else's mouth.

The next day, Emily was tirelessly changing in and out of outfits in her room. The brunette was nervous for her date with Paige later that evening. Not only want this her first date with a girl, but it was her first date, well, ever. The brunette looked at herself in the mirror with half an outfit on, and felt tears welling in her eyes. Emily chalked all of her emotions up to first date nerves, but deep down she knew it was more than that. One of the main reasons Emily was freaking out was because she knew that she didn't have feelings for Paige. She felt fake when she told her teammate yes. She felt guilty. Not only because of her lack of feelings for Paige, but because she had feelings for someone else. When she saw how excited Paige got after she said yes, Emily imagined what it would feel like if Alison asked her out on a date. Emily knew that scenario would never happen, but her imagination pictured the blonde in that moment. I need to get over this stupid crush on her. Also, this outfit is horrible. Emily took off the shirt and threw it onto the ever growing pile on her bedroom floor. "Ugh," she grumbled while continuing her quest of finding a perfect outfit. Emily started riffling through her closet, when she heard a knock on the door. "Em, it's me," Alison announced herself while sauntering into her bedroom like it was her own. "Woooooow," the blonde said while seeing Emily's scattered clothing, "Donating to the Goodwill?" she asked jokingly. Emily huffed from her stance by the closet, "No. More like regretting every fashion choice I've ever made," the brunette responded with agitation. Alison hopped onto Emily's bed, smiling at the mess her friend was making. "You have cute clothes Em, it's just all about how you style them," Alison commented while eyeing her half naked friend, "What are you dressing up for anyways?" Emily flipped around to her guest, holding up a dark green flannel. Emily was in black jeans and a bra. "Is this too casual for a nice dinner?" Emily asked exasperatedly. Alison giggled, "No. Not at all...if it's a dinner with a lumberjack I would say that's perfect," she teased. Emily glared at her, "Ali no jokes please. I need some serious help here," she said while gesturing to the clothes strewn across her room. Alison got up from her spot on the bed and swiped up a plain black top that Emily had previously thrown on the floor. "What about this? If you're having dinner with the Hastings it's perfect. Classy and boring," Alison teased while holding up the shirt, pretending to fake model it. Emily's glare turned into a death glare, "Ali," she huffed. Alison picked up on the brunette's frustration. "Okayyyyy I'm just joking. I'll help you, relax killer. Where are you going for dinner?" The blonde asked while tossing the black shirt back onto the floor. "Some fancy French place in Philly," Emily replied absentmindedly while continuing her clothing search in the closet. "French? Okay definitely not the flannel then," Alison said while joining her friend's search in the closet. The blonde found a dark green dress that caught her eye. "What about this?" The blonde asked Emily while holding it up. Emily nodded and grabbed it from Alison. She tossed the dress onto her bed and started taking her jeans off. Even though Alison made Emily nervous because of her crush, the brunette didn't care to change in front of her friend. The two have gotten extremely close over the last few weeks, and Alison had already seen Emily completely naked before. "Who's the dinner with anyways?" Alison inquired while watching her friend casually change. Emily tugged the dress over her head, and went to inspect herself in the mirror. "Paige," she answered nonchalantly, "Okay how does this look?" Emily asked while spinning around to face the blonde. Emily noticed Alison's whole attitude had changed within seconds. The blonde had her arms crossed, and was looking at Emily with yet another look the brunette couldn't place. "What? Is the dress that bad?" Emily questioned in response from the nasty look her friend was giving her. After Emily received no answer, she bent down to pull the dress off. "The dress is fine Emily," Alison said curtly. Emily? She only says my full name when we're talking about something serious. Emily stopped her attempt to undress and eyed her friend, confused from the sudden mood change. "Well what's wrong then?" Emily questioned the seemingly upset blonde. "Why are you going to dinner with her? Is this a date?" Alison asked snappily. Emily suddenly felt embarrassed, and went to look into the mirror again, unable to face Alison. "Yeah. I accepted her offer. I figured if there's at least one other gay girl in this town who wants to date me, I better give her a chance," Emily replied shyly while reaching for nail polish on her dresser. Alison sat back on the brunette's bed, "I thought you said you weren't going to go on a date with her?" Alison questioned with hostility laced in her voice. "No," Emily retorted while facing her friend and joining her on the bed, "I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to." Alison raised her eyebrow, "And now you're sure?" Alison asked skeptically, eyeing the brunette. Emily felt her cheeks redden from the inquisitive look her friend was giving her. "Yeah I guess I am," Emily answered, playing the bottle of nail polish in her hands. "You guess?" Alison asked deliberately. Emily met the blue eyes inspecting her. God why does she have to look at me like that? I swear she can read all of my thoughts. "Listen, I don't know okay? Isn't that the whole point of dating? To see if there's a connection?" Emily questioned, annoyance filling her voice. Alison didn't miss a beat, "No. The whole point of dating is going on dates with someone you already have a connection with," Alison argued, still eyeing Emily suspiciously. Why is she looking at me like she's judging me? She has no right to question who I go on dates with. She's dating Bradley for christ's sake. Emily sighed but responded right back, "Ali how am I supposed to know if there's a connection between Paige and I if I don't give her a chance? Weren't you the one who said I should try to find the real thing with another queer person?" Emily challenged. Alison got up from the bed, clearly agitated, "Emily do you really think you're going to find the real thing with her?" The blonde snapped, "She has literally been bullying you! Why would you want to go on a date with her?" Alison argued. Because I can't date you! And thanks to you kissing me, I can't get you out of my goddamn head! So now I'm going on this stupid date because you're all I ever think about! Emily's eyes flashed with anger, "Okay first of all she apologized to me, okay? You have no right to tell me who I can and can't date," Emily seethed, "Why are you so upset about this anyways?" The brunette implored. Alison ran her fingers through her hair, and didn't respond to Emily. Great. Now she's shutting down again. "Well?" Emily pushed her for an answer. "You know what? Whatever Emily. Forget it. Clearly my opinion doesn't matter to you," Alison snapped back and went to grab her purse to leave. Emily stood up from the bed and stepped in front of her, not letting Alison leave. "Don't do this again," Emily begged, anger still emanating out of her. Alison rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip, "Do what Emily?" The blonde asked with exasperation. "Leave! You always run off after anytime we have an argument," Emily was practically yelling now. "I'm not running off. I'm late to see Hanna," Alison argued, "Can you get out of my way please?" She asked rudely. Emily sighed and threw her hands up, moving out of Alison's way. The blonde didn't say anything else as she walked out of the room, leaving Emily alone. Emily sat back on her bed, infuriated and confused by Alison's behavior. What the actual fuck was that?

Emily swam her heart out at practice. She was angry. She hated the feeling of Alison being so upset with her. She was frustrated too that the blonde resorted to running away after another argument. She also felt guilty for getting so defensive with the blonde. Emily knew that the things Alison said to her held truth in them, but she was already having a hard time accepting that truth herself. Alison couldn't know the real reason why she was going on this date. The brunette was lost in thought while changing into her dress that Alison picked out for her. "Hey! You ready to go?" Paige asked rounding the corner of the lockers. "Oh hey Paige. I'm almost ready, let me fix my hair," Emily replied while taking in Paige's outfit. Paige was also looking at Emily's attire, "You look great," she complimented Emily. "Thanks, you do too," Emily replied shyly. The two girls eventually made it to Paige's car. Emily argued that she could drive them to Philly, but Paige put up a fight. The drive there was somewhat awkward, but they eventually found simple things to talk about. Stuff like school, swimming, and gossip about other teammates. The French dining place was beautiful, and Emily mentally thanked Alison for choosing the dress for her. Throughout dinner, Emily struggled to find topics to talk about with Paige. Some moments were filled with silent chewing, neither girl knowing exactly what to say. Other times, Emily made comments about how good the food was so at least one of them was saying something. Emily knew she was generally more reserved and quite than other people, so she was silently wishing that Paige could take control of the conversation. Emily couldn't help but think of Alison during those quite moments during dinner. The brunette missed her, and she felt guilty of wishing that Alison was sitting in front of her, not Paige. She felt guilty for comparing the two girls, but if Alison were her date, she knew that there wouldn't be so much uncomfortable silence. She smiled to herself thinking of all the silly comments Alison would be making, getting Emily to laugh. Alison always seemed to know how to make her smile, especially when she was nervous. She isn't Alison. That's exactly why I am here. To not be with Alison. Emily figured that Paige was nervous too, so she tried her best to make conversation with her date. "So, how long have you been out for?" Emily asked while they both finished their meals. Paige looked down to her hands in her lap, clearly uncomfortable from Emily's question. "I'm not actually out," she replied quietly, "That's kind of why I chose a restaurant in Philly for us to go to." Emily went silent, unsure of what to say. She felt slightly bothered by that comment, but knew it wasn't completely fair to be upset with her, knowing firsthand how hard it is to come out. "Oh," Emily said, "So you're afraid that someone you know would see you...with me?" Paige nodded in response, "Coming out to Philly is just...insurance. I'm not ready to come out to my parents," she explained. Emily fiddled with her hands in her lap, "So why did you ask me out? Were you just planning on going on dates with me in Philly every weekend? That's not practical Paige, and honestly it wasn't fair of you to ask me on a date without telling me that first," Emily replied. Paige reached her hand across the table, grabbing one of Emily's, "Emily I want this. I want you. I just need to some time, okay? I've been thinking about coming out for a while now." Emily pulled back her hand from Paige's, "Thinking about coming out isn't the same as being out. I know how hard it is, but I don't want to be anyone's secret, Paige." The waitress coming by to drop off their check interrupted their conversation. Emily avoided eye contact after they paid, wishing she was anywhere but there. The two girls got back in Paige's car, and the ride back to Rosewood was even more awkward than the dinner. Paige tried to talk to her, but Emily struggled to pretend like everything was okay. Paige pulled up to the school parking lot where Emily left her car. Once the car was in park, Paige turned to her date, "Emily I had a great time tonight. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I would really love to keep seeing you." Emily sighed and turned her eyes to Paige, "I meant what I said at the restaurant Paige. I don't want to be a secret. I don't want to feel like you're hiding me from people that you know." Paige reached out and grabbed Emily's hands again, "I know that. It won't be for forever though I promise. I just need to find the perfect time to tell my parents," Paige said. "That's the thing, there's never going to be a perfect time to come out, and I'm not going to force you to do something that you're not ready for," Emily responded forlornly. Paige pleaded with her, "Can you please go on another date with me? Please? Just give me a chance for us to get to know each other better." Emily shook her head in frustration, "Paige getting to know each other better isn't the point. The point is that I'm out and you're not. I don't want to feel ashamed. I don't want to be whisked away to another city just so you can hide me," Emily snapped. Paige started tearing up, and Emily felt instantly awful. The brunette sighed, feeling guilty for being so forward, "Okay. I'll go on another date with you, but I can't do this for forever," Emily obliged. Paige's eyes lit up in response, "Really?" Emily smiled at her, "Yeah." There was a moment of silence that washed over them, and Emily noticed Paige glance down to her lips. This time, Emily decided to be the initiator between the two of them. She put her hand through Paige's hair, and pulled her into a kiss. Paige grabbed her face and deepened their embrace, making a quite moan into Emily's mouth. As soon as Emily heard that sound, Alison's face flooded her mind, making her pull away from the kiss. "What's wrong?" Paige asked, concerned she moved too fast. What's wrong is that I'm thinking about Alison right now. That was the whole point of going out with Paige: getting her out of your mind...getting rid of your unreciprocated crush. Emily shook her head, "Nothing. Sorry," she said softly, before tilting her head and reconnecting their lips. Emily intensified the moment, slipping her tongue into Paige's mouth. Paige let Emily take control, and yet again, Emily's thoughts drifted from the present. Alison didn't let me take all of the control. Her tongue fought back. It's like we were doing a dance of dominance. Emily kept pushing the boundary, moving her other hand and resting it on Paige's thigh. Emily was searching for something...she was searching for the butterflies...for her heart to start racing...for her hands to tremble...for that amazing sensation between her legs, but nothing came. Nothing but images of a blonde. A blonde who wasn't there. A blonde that was plaguing her thoughts. A blonde that Emily was desperately trying to forget. Emily broke away from the kiss and frantically started kissing along Paige's neck. Paige obliged and leaned her head back, holding onto Emily's hair. All of the sudden she heard a familiar voice, but the voice was a memory: "Emily. Kiss me." Emily finally felt her heart race, and finally felt herself getting turned on at the memory of Alison. She moved back to Paige's mouth and forcefully pushed her lips back onto her date's. Even though Emily seemed like she was in control, her mind was completely in another place: her bathroom. Even though Emily seemed into the kiss with Paige, in her head she was picturing someone completely different: Alison. Emily moved her hand up the thigh it was resting on, imagining herself touching the blonde. "Em-" Paige began saying in between the kisses, "Emily," she said more firmly, gently pushing the brunette off of her. Emily opened her eyes, looking confused. "I'm sorry...it was just getting a little too intense," Paige said through her heaving breathing. Emily sat back into the car seat, feeling guilt wash over her, "I'm so sorry. I got a little out of control. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I-" Paige put her hand out to the frazzled girl, resting her hand on her thigh, "It's okay. I liked it...a lot...I think we just need to slow down a little," Paige said, smiling. Emily breathed out a deep breath, "You're right. Listen, thanks for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow at practice," Emily said hurriedly exiting the car. "I had an amazing time!" Paige called out, confused as she watched her date suddenly leave her. Emily leaned down once she was out of the car, "Me too," she lied while shutting Paige's car door. Emily rushed over to her vehicle and instantly started driving away. She felt wet, hot tears run down her face. She did everything right. She went on a date with a gay girl. She even kissed her. Yet despite all of her efforts, the one person she so desperately wanted out of her head, was still consuming her: Alison DiLaurentis.

Emily walked up her driveway, defeated, confused, and feeling more lonely than ever. As she opened her front door, she was met with her two parents sitting in the living room, waiting for her. She saw tears running down her mother's face, and her dad was hanging his head. "Mom? Dad? What's wrong?" She asked, picking up on the somber mood in the Fields' home. "Honey, come sit down. Your dad and I need to talk to you," Pam said, sadness filling her voice.


Okayyyyy don't shoot me! I know you guys are probably screaming, but chapter eleven is already in the works. I'm hoping I will have that uploaded by tomorrow. If not, definitely the day after that!

We had a cute lil Emison moment while baking, Spencer and Alison seeing each other outside of school, Emily saying yes to a date, Alison getting mad at Emily for said date lol, and apparently Emily has some heavy news to receive from her parents. What do you think they are going to tell her? Leave some reviews my friends! See you soon!

~3mison