Hey hey hey my gorgeous Emison babes! I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for awhile. When I came back to write chapter fifteen, I had some good ole classic writer's block. I've had a vision for this story for awhile now, but I was struggling with putting it all together 'on paper' if you will. I needed some time to put some of the pieces together in my head. After a few days of sitting in front of my computer and the cursor mocking me, I finally found the missing link. I can be my own worst critic sometimes and I get in my head a lot, but your reviews and views motivate me and inspire me...so thanks for that. Also, a while back, a guest reviewer mentioned that they had trouble reading because I don't space out my paragraphs very often. To that guest reviewer (if you're still around), I have kept that in the back of my mind. So, you'll notice my attempt at better spacing in this chapter. Lmk what you guys think. These next two chapters are big ones. Buckle up friends. Are you ready? Part one is in Alison's POV. Rated M for Mature. Enjoy...

In response to the reviews: •tflpellc , I haven't had time to read any of secretpen28 's stories yet :( but I will put Kingdom Come Undone on my TBR list. I've currently been caught up in writing this story. Thanks for the feedback! I was definitely nervous writing the mature content. I'm so glad you liked it! See you next time friend. •Packersgirl492 , Hey! Yeah I have some deep-rooted religious trauma unfortunately. It has been hard to deconstruct from religion, but therapy has helped me immensely. It's always refreshing to hear of people like your family who are accepting and loving. That's what it should all be about! If I may ask, how has it been for you staying in the church and being queer? I honestly struggled heavily with it and eventually had to leave the church entirely because it was too emotionally and mentally exhausting. It's been almost 6 years since I've left. Anywho, yeah I vaguely remember watching Favre. Technically I'm a 90's baby..I was born in '99. One of my besties was born in '96 and she gives me shit whenever I claim to be a 90's kid lol. The Bills were close last year! I think I placed my playoff bracket last year for a 49ers/Bills Super Bowl. I lost some money on that bet *insert face palm emoji*. Reminded me why I shouldn't gamble lmfao. So what is your next step when (we're going to say 'when' instead of 'if'. Gotta manifest babes :D) the committee approves your proposal? I remember you mentioned you can officially conduct research when they approve it, correct? Yes I 100% agree about the guys in PLL. It makes me sad because a lot of us who were watching PLL while it was airing on Tv were all in middle school and high school. As much as I love PLL, that is my one and only major ick about it. The writers should've addressed it better in my opinion. Honestly, it really struck a cord with me when I re-watched it because (TMI) I was groomed and assaulted by my high school basketball coach my senior year. There was a whole investigation with the detectives at my hometown's police department, but surprise surprise he was only fired from the high school and never prosecuted for anything. Anywayyyys before I dump all of my trauma onto you...Bro I HATED that Ezria was endgame. I also agree with you that Aria had no identity outside of Ezra. I think Ezria also got WAY too much screen time and it annoyed the hell out of me. Moving on, omg you have two cats?! Love that. What are their names? I think my little man is a tad bit emo because he loves when I play Lil Peep too lmfao. Ahhhhhh thank you dude!! I can't tell you how nervous I was to write all of that. I honestly can't respond to the rest of your reviews because most of what you said will be addressed in these next two chapters. You'll understand after you read! I'll have to watch those movies! The animated Lion King was great and my lil Disney kid-self loved it. I have heard of Moonlight. If I can remember correctly, I think I tried to watch it once upon a time and never finished it. Okay I'll see yah next time! Always love chatting back and forth with you!

~3mison

Chapter Fifteen: The Choice-Part One

"She was everything I had ever wanted but everything I couldn't have. It was difficult; every time she looked at me, every touch, every kiss, every moment I wanted to tell the world I loved her, but I knew it was impossible. It was more than the need to tell people I loved her; it was about not losing her. If I lost her, where would I be? Every day, I hoped it would be different. Every night, I dreamt we would be happy together and not judged for who we were or whom we loved. I already loved her; she was my best friend. I was just trying not to be in love with her too. And it was this fear that brought the fairy tale to an end. The greatest mistake I ever made was to give in to all the things that made me afraid.

If you want my advice, it is this: Don't write your story the way I did. Don't let fear control your narrative. Don't let fear destroy your happy ending."

-a poem from Watering the Soul by Courtney Peppernell

Alison groaned softly as she adjusted herself in her bed. She was in the space between half-asleep and half-awake and still not wanting to fully open her eyes. The blonde snuggled herself further into her soft sheets, smiling sleepily as she thought of last night.

Wait...Emily.

She moved her hand across the empty space on her bedsheets, searching for the warm body that she fell asleep next to. The blonde started to awaken more when her hand blindly kept searching yet failing to find her lover.

Alison's eyes shot open when she fully realized Emily wasn't in the bed with her. She sat up grabbed her bed sheet, pulling it around her naked chest. Alison smiled again seeing their clothes thrown across the floor and the half-melted candles surrounding her room. Where is she? The clothes she wore last night are still here...

She looked around her room until her eyes saw a small piece of notebook paper on her nightstand. Alison lazily reached for the note Emily left: "Went to grab coffee and breakfast. I'll be back soon. I love you." She smirked to herself and rolled her eyes. She can't sleep in for once in her life...even on the morning after we had sex.

Alison flopped back onto the bed and laid her head on the pillow beside hers, taking in Emily's scent. I've never felt closer to anyone in my entire life. She stretched her arms and legs, feeling a delicious ache all over her body. God I'm actually sore. That's a first. I wouldn't mind Emily stretching me- "-Sorry that took so long," Emily greeted as she opened the bedroom door.

Emily had two coffees in her arms and a bag of food hanging from one of her hands, but that wasn't what Alison noticed when the brunette entered the room. Emily had on a pair of Alison's pink sweatpants and a plain black crew neck sweatshirt. She took clothes from my dresser.

"The line at The Brew was ridiculous and then I ran into my swim coach and of course she wanted to talk to me," Emily rambled as she set the coffee cups on the nightstand. She's so cute.

Emily sat down on the bed beside Alison while she continued: "Then there was a car accident so I had to wait for-" Alison pulled the sheet over her as she leaned up and pressed a soft kiss on the side of Emily's cheek, getting the brunette to stop talking.

"Hi," Alison whispered lovingly, reaching her hand up and tilting Emily's face towards hers so she could place a quick peck on her mouth. "Hi," Emily mumbled back against her lips. "I missed waking up to you," Alison said while scooting closer to Emily in a sitting position, "You're too much of a morning person," the blonde commented, her voice still laced with exhaustion.

Emily smiled and reached for her cup of coffee, taking a sip. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to wake you up. You looked too peaceful," Emily replied. I looked peaceful because I just had mind blowing sex with you.

Alison grabbed her coffee cup and took a generous sip. The blonde made a quite moan after the caffeine finally hit her system. She glanced over to Emily beside her, noticing the brunette's cheeks had a faint blush over them. "So you admit you were watching me sleep then?" Alison teased, taking another sip of her coffee to help her not feel like a complete zombie. "N-no I wasn't I just-" "-Em...I'm messing with you," Alison interrupted. She watched the brunette run her hand through her hair, clearly nervous after seeing the blonde after their night together.

"How'd you sleep?" Alison asked. "Good. You?" Emily asked back, sneaking a quick look at her cleavage popping out from the sheet. Want a peek? I'll give you more than a peek babe. Alison smirked, casually dropping the sheet that one of her hands held up around her, leaving her completely exposed. She eyed Emily as the brunette gulped and looked away, taking a another sip of her coffee. "I slept amazing...thanks to you," Alison replied flirtatiously while setting her coffee down and grabbing Emily's out of her hands, setting the brunette's coffee cup down as well.

Emily played with her hands in her lap, avoiding looking at Alison. The blonde reached over and put her hand on top of the fidgeting brunette's. "Em, you don't need to be nervous," she said sweetly. Emily finally looked at her, smiling back at Alison, yet still refusing to look at her naked body. "I borrowed your clothes...I figured you wouldn't mind," Emily said, avoiding the topic. "I don't mind at all..." Alison replied softly while standing up in front of Emily, "...But I would rather see you without them on," she teased while moving to sit on Emily's lap, straddling her.

Emily's cheeks turned beat red from the naked girl sitting on her. She moved her hands over Alison's lower back, steadying the blonde. She cupped Emily's cheeks, "You're so beautiful..." Alison whispered, "...and sexy," the blonde added, still love-drunk from last night. Emily's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, gazing up at her. "Last night was perfect," Alison said to the quite brunette. "It was," Emily whispered back, still refusing to look down at the blonde's bare body. She's too sweet and respectful...it's adorable.

"How much longer can you stay?" Alison asked while playing with Emily's hair. "Maybe for another hour. I promised some of the girls on the team I would meet them at the pool this morning," the brunette responded. "Why? Your swim season is over," Alison questioned from her place on Emily's lap. "Ali, swim is never over. In order to stay in shape and keep up our times we have to swim all year round. Plus I need to have better times for senior year if I want a scholarship," Emily explained. "What girls are you swimming with? Is Paige going to be there?" Alison asked, trying hard not to sound jealous. "Yeah Paige will be there," the brunette replied. Ugh. Just perfect.

Alison stood up from Emily's lap and walked over to her closet, grabbing a robe to pull around her body. Alison knew she was being irrational, especially after last night with Emily, but Paige made her feel threatened. Paige is the only other girl Emily has kissed. At least Paige can't take Emily's V card.

"Well what did you tell her when she asked you out yesterday?" Alison questioned Emily with her back turned away from the brunette. "I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship," Emily answered. "You talked to her for awhile..." Alison commented, turning back around and facing Emily. I don't want her to think I'm jealous or insecure...but I am when it comes to Emily. "She was telling me that she came out to her parents, and she apologized for hiding me on our date," the brunette replied, sipping on her coffee again. Great! Fucking great!

"Hm," Alison said in response. She walked over to her mirror and started brushing her frazzled hair. What if Emily wants Paige? Paige is apparently "out" now. What if she's getting tired of waiting? I can't come out...not now...ugh what if Paige steals her from me? Not that Emily is a possession, but still...she's mine.

Alison jumped when she felt Emily's hands wrap around the top of her shoulders. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even see Emily get up from the bed. Alison met her brown eyes through the reflection. "I don't want Paige Ali," Emily said softly while she started massaging Alison's shoulders. How can she always read my mind?

"I wasn't thinking that," Alison said defensively. She watched Emily smirk through the mirror, "Okay, whatever you say," the brunette teased. Alison spun around, causing Emily's hands to fall off of her shoulders. "I wasn't," Alison said again, still trying to cover her jealousy. Emily smiled down at her and stuck her hand out, "Come back to bed," the brunette suggested softly. Alison smiled up at her, "As amazing as that sounds, I desperately need a shower," the blonde replied while draping her arms around Emily's shoulders, "Someone got me very sweaty and sticky last night," Alison added with a wink.

Emily grinned and attempted to lean down to kiss her, but Alison pulled away, making the brunette furrow her eyebrows in question. "Baby, not only do I have morning breath, but now I have coffee breath too. I love you, but no kissing until I brush my teeth," Alison said. Emily pouted her lips, "I don't care about that," the brunette replied and tried leaning down again. Alison moved her head right when Emily's lips grazed hers, causing the brunette to sigh dramatically and drop her head onto Alison's shoulders. The blonde started giggling until an idea popped into her head.

"You know..." she said lowly into Emily's ear, "...you could come join me in the shower," Alison suggested. Emily lifted her head off of her shoulder, already blushing from Alison's suggestion. The blonde leaned her mouth up to Emily's ear, "We haven't had shower sex yet," she whispered seductively. Alison smiled when saw the familiar look of desire fill Emily's brown eyes. Yes ma'am.

The blonde smirked and grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her out of the bedroom. They giggled together as they both excitedly crept quickly across the hallway towards the bathroom. Alison playfully shoved Emily up against the closed bathroom door and leaned back up to her ear, "Take your clothes off," she requested, her voice low.

She turned around and grabbed her toothbrush, hurriedly trying to clean her teeth so she could get back to the important matter at hand. Alison felt her body heat up watching Emily undress through the reflection of the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She is a literal goddess.

Beep

She bit down on her toothbrush while Emily tugged off her bra, feeling herself get extremely turned on. God her tits are fucking incredible.

Beep

"You're so fucking hot Emily," Alison said with her toothbrush in her mouth. Emily smirked at her through the reflection. The brunette teasingly did a full body turn while topless, giving the blonde a little show. I'm so in love with you.

Beep

She let her eyes wander down Emily's body when the brunette slowly pulled her underwear off. Emily grinned at her through the mirror's reflection, clearly aware she was turning Alison on. The blonde felt electricity shoot through her body straight down between her legs. I'm so going to take that smirk off of your face in a minute.

Beep

Alison bent down to spit out her toothpaste, but when she leaned back up she wasn't looking into the bathroom mirror.

She wasn't even in her bathroom.

Emily wasn't even there.

She was back in her bed, waking up from a dream.

Beep

Fuck this stupid fucking alarm. Alison angrily slammed her hand down on the alarm clock resting on her nightstand, refusing to open her eyes. "Ugh!" she moaned out, keeping her eyes closed. She had a pounding headache, and that headache only got worse when the recollection of her dream came flooding back. What I would give right now to be back in the bathroom with her.

Her dream wasn't just a figment of her imagination. The dream was a real memory of the morning after their first time together, but that happened six months ago. The morning of her dream was a beautiful fall day last year in October. Today was a dreary morning in March.

Alison's headache was due to a few things: crying, little to no sleep, and alcohol. The god-awful noise that woke her up in the first place starting screeching in her ear again. FUCK!

Alison finally opened her eyes and picked up the nagging alarm clock, yanking the cord out of the wall and throwing it across her room. The sound of the clock smashing against her bedroom wall made her wince.

Alison put her hand over her head as she gingerly sat up in bed. Her head hurt. Her eyes hurt. Her whole entire body hurt. The crying, the lack of sleep, and the alcohol may have contributed to how awful she felt, but the main reason was a person: Emily Fields.

Alison's eyes slowly adjusted to the light shining in from her bedroom window. Fuck this stupid fucking light. She stumbled out of bed, still feeling the effects of the alcohol she consumed a few short hours ago, and hastily tugged her curtains closed. She almost fell over from the momentum of pulling on the curtain. I'm still drunk.

The blonde reached out and gripped her dresser for support, taking deep breaths. Unfortunately, getting out of bed so fast made her whole room spin. She ran over to her bedroom trash can and fell to her knees, hurling into it. After she finished throwing up her stomach contents, her head felt like it was about to explode. Fucking hell.

She adjusted herself and sat fully on the floor, resting her back and head against her bedroom wall. The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, taking more deep breaths, and trying to control her nausea.

A few minutes passed until she opened her eyes again. The first thing Alison saw on her bedroom floor was a picture surrounded by broken glass: A picture of her and Emily. Everything that happened yesterday came flooding back. Oh god.

She grabbed the trash can and puked again. Her nausea wasn't from the spins anymore, but it came from reality: She's gone.

Alison's eyes slowly started filling with tears, threatening to spill over. She took in everything that was thrown around her bedroom. Oh god what did I do? She crawled over to the broken picture frame, pulling out the photo from the shards of glass. Her hands shook as she picked up the picture. Thankfully through her rage yesterday she didn't ruin the photo, just the frame. Tears starting dropping onto the picture that she held in her hands, blurring her vision. She set the photo down and went to clean up the glass when she heard her phone ringing on her nightstand. Emily. She's calling.

Alison sat up as fast as she could in spite of the spins she was experiencing and rushed over to grab her phone. Disappointment flooded over her as she saw the name on the caller ID: Hanna. Her finger hesitated over the phone as she debated on answering. I can't talk to her right now.

She waited until her phone stopped ringing, knowing that Hanna would text her afterwards. Sure enough, her phone buzzed. A text from Hanna: "Hey where are you? You're late to school. You okay?" No. Alison's fingers trembled while typing back: "I'm sick. I won't be coming today. Can you grab my assignments from my teachers?"

Alison went back to look at her other text messages, opening her text thread with Emily. There was one single text that she received from the brunette at midnight: "I'm sorry." She's really gone.

Anger washed over again as she stared at the text message. She debated on throwing her phone against her bedroom wall, but instead she went to Emily's contact and blocked her number. "I'm sorry?" That's all you can say?

Alison felt a rage creep back inside of her and she threw her phone onto her bed as hard as she could. She watched through her teary eyes as her phone flopped off of the bed and onto the floor, landing amongst many other things she threw last night. She walked over to pick up her phone, but when her eyes focused on the other items on the floor, her rage morphed into sadness. A sadness that was so overwhelming it took her breath away. This can't be real. This can't be happening.

She choked back a sob that came from the back of her throat. Everything started to spin again as she fell down to her knees. She felt like she couldn't breath. Alison held a hand over her mouth as she tried to hold back her sobs, but she couldn't escape it. She couldn't escape her heartbreak. Alison took ragged breaths as she wept on her bedroom floor. She wrapped her arms around her torso, holding herself as her body shook. I lost her.

The blonde didn't know how long she cried for, but eventually her tears dried up and the the sounds of her weeping died off. She found herself laying despondently on the floor, looking at all the items she owned from the girl who had her heart. The girl who broke her heart. She was angry, and she took out her anger last night on the things she had collected that were Emily's, given to her from Emily, or things that reminded her of Emily. Despite her fury, those items were precious to her. This is all that I have left of her.

Alison looked at the item that was closest to her on the floor, reaching for it with shaky hands. It was the poetry book Emily gave her almost ten months ago. The book was already open on her floor from her throwing it yesterday evening. She carefully picked it up and gazed down at it, remembering the first night they hung out when the brunette accidentally left it in her car:

Alison smiled kindly and reached for Emily's phone that she was holding in her hand. Alison's hand rested on Emily's for a moment, "Let me give you my number," she said as Emily handed her iPhone over. Alison quickly went to Emily's phone book and added her number under the name 'Ali' with a little vellow heart next to it. She gave it back to Emily, "Thanks for hanging out with me Emily," Alison said quietly, I'd love to spend more time with you. You know, like outside of work." Emily smiled at Alison as she opened the passenger door, "I had a great time too, and it was fun working with you also. Thanks for making my first shift a little more bearable" Emily leaned down before she shut Alison's car door to say, "Goodnight, drive safe. I'll see you next shift." Alison flashed her a big smile, "You might be my new favorite coworker, she gave Emily a wink, "Goodnight Emily, text me when you get home safely."

Some of the pages of the poetry book were ripped and the binding was torn from her rage yesterday. Alison thought she had cried all the tears she had left in her body, yet somehow more continued to fall down her face. The blonde stood up slowly and placed the tattered book back in her bookshelf. Alison took a deep breath and leaned up against her wall. I feel like absolute shit.

Everything was still spinning. Her room was spinning out of control. Just like my life. Alison liked control, but her desire for control is what had gotten her to this very moment. Her need for control became a fault. It became the catalyst of the ending between her and Emily. Having control of certain parts of her life is what kept her somewhat grounded in the chaotic home life that she knew. Having control of how she looked. Having control of what people thought of her. Having control of her emotions. That control started slipping away the day she found the love of her life.

Ever since she met Emily, her control was slowly wiggling out of her grasp. She fell in love. Hard. But her love came with price, and she didn't want to pay up. Her relationship with Emily came with a choice, and she couldn't face it.

Alison didn't want to make that choice. The choice Emily needed her to make. Alison thought choosing to ignore making that decision would magically make her problem disappear, but the longer her and Emily's relationship bloomed, the more prevalent that problem became. Alison's avoidance of making a choice gave her control...At least that's what she thought.

She thought she could have Emily and have her image. She thought it was that easy. Her love life wasn't anyone's business...That's what she told herself. No one could hurt her if they never knew...That's what she explained to herself. She could control the narrative...Except there never was a narrative or an opinion from anyone, because Alison chose not to let that happen. She couldn't control what people would think of her if the truth got out. It was easier to live in secret...but it wasn't. It only made everything more difficult.

Alison did make a choice, and that very truth was hitting her while she stood leaned up against her wall looking down at the mess she made.

She made the choice of not making a choice.

That indecision created the reality she was living in. Her need for control was the sole reason why everything had spun out of control. Ironic.

Alison walked back over to the mess on her floor and scooped up a t shirt. It was the first item of clothing she got from Emily. In reality, Emily didn't give her the shirt. She stole it. Despite her heartbreak, a smile lightly crept on her lips when she held the material in her hands, thinking of that memory:

Alison began taking off the t shirt that she slept in. She was about to fold it and put it back in Emily's drawer, but she hesitated. Would she notice if I kept it? Would it be weird if I kept it? Hanna and I share clothes all the time. Against her better judgment, Alison rolled up the t shirt and stuffed it into her purse. Emily's t shirt. Our first sleepover: Emily's and Mine.

Emily's and Mine. Alison's lips quivered as she saw all of the items thrown across her floor. All of those items belonged to her, but the blonde always thought of them as Emily's and hers.

She always thought of Emily as hers.

Her hands started shaking and her vision became blurred from her tears all over again. She's not mine anymore. This can't be real. She can't be gone.

Alison dropped the t shirt onto her bed and scrambled to pick up her phone. She found Emily's contact and unblocked the brunette's number. She instinctively hit call, putting the phone up to her ear and listened to the phone ring. Pick up. Please pick up Emily. I need to hear your voice. The phone rang over five times before she heard the sweet voice of the girl she loved:

"Hi"

She answered.

"Em-"

"-This is Emily. Sorry I missed your call. Leave a message at the beep."

It's her voicemail. She sent me to voicemail.

Alison took a shaky breath before leaving her message:

"Hey...it's me."

The girl whose heart you just broke into a million pieces.

"I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't have called."

But I wanted to. I needed to.

"I don't know how to do this Emily...deal with this pain without you."

The pain you caused.

"Can we fix this, please? Can I fix this?"

Deep down I know it's too late. I can't fix it.

"I didn't mean to push you away yesterday. I was just angry."

I'm still angry to be honest.

Alison choked back a sob.

"You're my person Emily. It hurts. I'm hurting."

You've caused me this hurt, but you're the only one who could make me feel better. Ironic.

Alison's voice cracked as tears started running down her face.

"Can you just come over? Please. We can talk about this."

I sound desperate. But I am.

Alison felt her sobs coming to the back of her throat, but she was unable to stop them. She slumped onto her bed, crying into the phone, leaving a voicemail to the girl who caused her this pain.

I caused her pain too though.

"Emily..." She choked back her sobs, "...I love you."

But love isn't enough. That's why we're over...Over. No...no we can't be over.

Alison could barely breath through her sobs.

"Y-You promised me. You promised me you'd never leave."

But she did. She left.

"This can't be it for us Emily. It can't."

I'm pleading. Please Emily.

"I know you need some time right now."

Time away from me. Time to forget about me. Time to fall out of love with me. Oh god...time to fall in love with someone else.

"But I miss you."

I miss you with my entire being.

"You're my best friend."

My best friend. My partner. My love. My life.

Alison could barely speak.

"I feel like I'm losing the other half of me. I don't know who I am without you Emily."

You're my everything.

"Can we plea-"

Alison stared at her phone for a few moments after her voicemail was cut short.

Alison wiped her tears and set her phone down. She had no time for anger anymore. At least for now. She felt a slow numbness sweep over her mind, body, and soul. Maybe it's better this way. To dissociate. To try to ignore how I feel. If I feel it all, truly, all of it, I don't know if I'll ever stop crying. I don't know if I'll ever stop screaming and throwing things and destroying everything. I ruined us. The one good thing I've ever had. The one person who saw me and knew me and loved me. All because of what? My ego? Fear? Selfishness? I don't know. All I know is that it's too late. She really is serious about this. I can't fix this or change anything. It's over.

Alison grabbed Emily's t shirt off of the bed and walked over to her dresser, folding it up and tucking it inside a drawer. Emily's drawer. Emily would often come over and stay the night at her house. They had the privacy of Mrs. DiLaurentis being knocked out from her drinking and Jason normally being gone from the house doing god knows what. Slowly over time, Emily would leave clothes at Alison's. Her fingers ran along the clothes: Socks, underwear, running shorts, t shirts. Her fingers stopped when they landed on a Sharks hoodie. That item of clothing was Alison's. Emily gifted it to her:

Emily started digging through her bag, "Would you forgive me if I told you I got you something?" The brunette asked. Alison tugged her own shirt back over her head, "What did you get me?" The blonde asked, her curiosity spiking. She watched as the brunette pulled out a big blue hoodie. Emily held it up to show Alison: it was a Rosewood Sharks hoodie with Fields printed on the back. "It's one of my old hoodies. I figured you might like it," Emily said while handing it over to the blonde, "You don't have to wear it to my swim meets or anything, but it's yours," she added, smiling shyly. Alison took it from Emily's hand, feeling her heart flutter, "Really?" She asked quietly, "You're giving to me?" Emily nodded in response, before leaning down and kissing her, "I really need to go though, okay? I'll ask my mom about our fake sleepover tomorrow," the brunette mumbled across the blonde's lips. Alison hummed against her lips, "Oh I wasn't kidding about the sleepover part, but there will be a party before," the blonde said lowly. Emily raised her eyebrow, "You want me to stay the night?" She asked. Alison stood up and put her arms around Emily's shoulders, "Mhm," she answered while smirking at the brunette. She watched as Emily's cheeks reddened at the thought of sleeping in Alison's bed. "I'll see you tomorrow at your meet?" The blonde asked. "Okay," Emily whispered. "Thank you for the sweatshirt," Alison whispered against her lips before pressing another kiss onto Emily's. Emily hummed happily against the blonde, before pulling away and resting her forehead on Alison's, "I love you," the brunette said so quietly Alison barely could hear her. I want to hear you say that for forever. I'll never get tired of it. Alison played with Emily's hair with her hands that were rested on the taller girl's shoulders, "Say it again," she said sweetly with a dimple smile. Emily grinned and leaned her lips towards Alison's ear, "I love you Ali," she whispered softly into the blonde's ear. Alison's whole body became covered in goosebumps. "I love you more," the blonde replied softly after Emily pulled away. The brunette leaned down to grab her things, "I love you the most," Emily argued back. "Nope. Not possible," the blonde retorted, hands on her hips. "Okay I'll let you win," Emily relented, "Bye Ali," she said while reaching for the door handle. Bye Emily. God why did I let her leave yesterday like that? I never even gave her a proper goodbye.

Alison scooped up the hoodie and tugged it on over her tank top. She pulled the neckline up to her nose, inhaling. Most of Emily's scent still lingered. The blonde never washed it after Emily gave it to her. She would only wear it occasionally in the comfort of her own room.

She sighed as she directed her attention back to the rest of her keepsakes scattered across her bedroom floor. Alison walked over to the shattered frame that used to display two photos, picking up one in particular. It was a photo of her, Emily, and Hanna at a Halloween party.

Hanna had on a short black dress and a headband with cat ears on in her hair. Her best friend paired her fit with fish nets that ran down her legs and black heels. Alison wore a very small nurse outfit that barely covered the tops of her thighs. She picked out a little headpiece that resembled a nurse hat, and wore tall red stilettos to match. Both of the blonde's outfits left little to the imagination, but that was the goal. Emily was wearing a tiny cowgirl number. The brunette had a white buttoned down shirt with suspenders, a short brown skirt, and paired it with a cowgirl hat and cowgirl boots.

When the three girls went shopping at the costume store, Emily put up a fight about wearing something too revealing. Alison smiled lightly, remembering something that Hanna said to Emily at the store: "Emily Fields! This is a Halloween party! You have to pick a cute outfit. Halloween is the only time of the year when it's socially acceptable to dress like a slut!" Her sweet girl tried to win the argument with Hanna, but Emily eventually caved after the shorter-haired blonde pestered her for over thirty minutes. Emily's outfit wasn't nearly as revealing as theirs, but the brunette looked good. She looked really good.

Alison's smile grew bigger as she thought of what she did with Emily at that party: The three girls were in a stranger's kitchen taking shots of tequila. Alison was sat up on the kitchen counter in front of Hanna and Emily who stood on either side of her. As Hanna threw back a shot, Alison finally had a chance to check out the brunette. Seeing Emily in her outfit was driving her crazy all night. Hanna made sure Emily's white shirt was buttoned down so her cleavage would show. I can thank Hanna for that.

Emily didn't notice Alison raking her eyes over her body because Emily was laughing at Hanna spilling a splash of tequila on herself. The blonde smirked seeing Emily get tipsy. Her soft brown eyes would gloss over and she would get extra smiley. She's teasing me without even trying.

Emily's outfit alone was enough to make the blonde wet, but seeing Emily get loose and giggly from the alcohol made Alison's desires almost uncontrollable. She herself was already feeling a buzz as she giggled with Hanna and Emily from her spot on the counter.

After their first time together two weeks ago, the two of them didn't have a chance to have sex again. Last week, Emily had a scheduled FaceTime call with her father on the night they normally had their sleepovers.

"Oh my god I love this song!" Hanna exclaimed. She grabbed Emily's and Alison's hands, attempting to drag them into the living room full of other teenagers dancing. Okay. Now is my opportunity.

Alison smirked to herself, remembering the plan she had at the last party they attended. Unfortunately, Samara ruined that plan, but Emily was all hers tonight.

Alison "accidentally" swiped a cup full of spiked punch as she slid off of the counter, spilling it all over herself. "Shit!" Alison complained, trying to seem as upset as she possible could.

"Here," Emily said, grabbing a roll of paper towels for the wet blonde. Hanna tried to stifle a giggle, earning a death glare from Alison. "Actually, would you mind coming to the bathroom with me Emily? I think it's going to take more than paper towels to get this out," Alison mentioned, giving Emily a knowing look. Please read my mind right now.

"Sure," Emily replied, yet seemed completely oblivious to what Alison had on her mind. "Okay you go help miss clumsy clean up Em," Hanna said, "I'm going to go dance! You two better come join me when you're done!" Yes.

Alison grabbed Emily's hand and sauntered in front of her on their way to the bathroom. They weaved through the drunk crowd as Alison guided them. "Move!" Alison yelled at the two girls who were leaning up against the bathroom door. I'm literally going to explode if I can't get my hands on her.

Alison pulled Emily into the bathroom and shut and locked the door. She eyed Emily as the brunette went to grab a towel. Alison stuck her hand out on top of Emily's, getting the tipsy brown eyes to look at her.

Alison took a step closer and put other hand on the brunette's arm, "I don't want a towel," she said lowly. Emily's eyes widened after she saw the look in Alison's eyes. Emily smirked, "You did that on purpose didn't you?" She whispered. "Mhm," Alison replied, smirking as well, "How else was I supposed to get you alone?" Emily grinned while moving to put her hands on the blonde's hips, "You're naughty," Emily teased. Alison leaned up and pressed her mouth hard onto Emily's lips, earning a small gasp from the brunette. Alison pulled her lips away slightly, "I can show you naughty," she whispered seductively, moving Emily's hair so she could connect her lips onto the brunette's neck.

"Ali," Emily breathed out, "We shouldn't," she said through heavy breaths. Alison smirked onto the tan skin, knowing damn well she was already turning Emily on. She moved her mouth off of her neck and slammed her lips back onto Emily's, moving her until the brunette's back hit the bathroom sink. Alison was desperate for her. Their first time was incredible, but that was two weeks ago and the blonde was craving it. She wanted to hear Emily moan. She wanted to feel her skin again. She wanted to make Emily breathless as she brought her to orgasm. She missed the intimacy, but right now she wanted to fuck.

Alison's hands groped Emily's boobs through her shirt, making the brunette moan onto her lips. Alison knew they had limited time, so she slid her hands down to Emily's bare thighs. Emily pulled her lips away, panting heavily, "Ali, we can't," the brunette said again. "Yes we can," Alison replied while sliding her hands higher up the side of Emily's thighs, making the brunette shudder, "I've missed you. I want you Emily," she huffed out, feeling her overwhelming sexual frustration. Emily cupped Alison's cheeks, "Believe me, I've been thinking about it too, but we're at a party, and what about Hanna?" Emily asked, trying to reason with her. "Hanna is already obliterated. She won't even know," Alison whispered, creeping her hands past Emily's short skirt.

Emily closed her eyes for a moment, trying hard to ignore the pulsing between her legs. Alison smirked seeing Emily get breathless. "We don't have time," Emily said, still trying to resist. Alison bit her lip as she moved her fingers from the outside of Emily's thighs to the inside, pushing the brunette's legs open. She casually leaned up and took off Emily's cowgirl hat. Emily looked at her through hooded eyes as Alison leaned forward, trapping the brunette between her body and the sink.

She heard Emily's breathing falter as she brushed her lips against the brunette's. Alison's body was on fire, and she was determined to get what she wanted. She knew Emily couldn't resist her for much longer. Alison moved one hand to the sink, steading herself as she moved her mouth to Emily's ear, "Looks like you'll have to cum quick then," she whispered and bit down on the brunette's earlobe. Emily let out a breath and grabbed Alison face, pulling her back and crashing their lips together. Gotcha.

Alison's smirk of victory left her face quickly as her fingers glided up the inside of Emily's thighs. "God Em," she mumbled onto the brunette's lips when she felt the heat coming from Emily's center. She hastily fumbled to slide her fingers up and over Emily's panties. This time was different than the last. This time was messy and needy.

Alison fingers dipped quickly into Emily, coating her fingers with the brunette's wetness. Emily disconnected their lips and threw her head back, "Fuck," she moaned loudly as Alison's fingers started rubbing quickly onto her clit. The blonde moved her lips above Emily's, "You have to be quite," she whispered against the lips that were unable to kiss her back. Alison's eyes trained on Emily as the brunette's mouth was parted in pure ecstasy. She loved seeing how her touch effected the brunette, but she knew she didn't have time to admire her tonight. She needed to get Emily off. That was the goal.

Alison moved her fingers off of her clit and gently pushed two of them into Emily. She gave the brunette a few moments to adjust before she started pumping fast and hard into her as she kept her trapped against the sink. Emily whimpered, desperately trying to keep herself quite as Alison fucked her. "Look at me," the blonde requested through heavy breaths. Emily lifted her head and met her blue eyes. Alison gave Emily a knowing smile and winked at her. She smirked as the brown eyes rolled back, "Oh god," Emily moaned out as quietly as she could in reaction to the blonde's seductive smile. Clearly Alison's teasing smile did the trick because Emily's legs already started to quiver. Alison felt Emily's thighs tremble and felt her tighten around her fingers. Alison leaned down and sucked on the brunette's pulse point, keeping her rhythm as Emily came.

Alison slowed down after she felt the brunette's cum wash over her fingers. She slowly kissed her way up Emily's jaw and peppered kisses on her cheeks. "I can't believe we just did that," Emily said through breathy laughs. Alison hummed against her skin, kissing her gently as she pulled her fingers out of Emily. She leaned back giving the brunette room to adjust and helped smooth down Emily's skirt. Alison reached up and fixed some of her brunette locks, "Good as new," she teased and winked at her. Emily's eyes flickered down to the blonde's chest and Alison watched her brown eyes darken. I know that look.

Emily suddenly grabbed Alison's hips and spun her around. This time she was the one trapped against the sink. Their mouths connected in a heated, bruising kiss. "Em," Alison murmured, "Fuck me," she requested, pulling Emily's lips away and holding her face. I need you now.

Emily leaned down and kissed along her neck, making Alison string her fingers into her hair. Without any warning, she felt Emily's hands glide over the back of her thighs. The brunette gracefully hoisted her up onto the bathroom sink while reconnecting their lips. Alison wrapped her legs around her and grabbed Emily's hand from its place on her thigh, moving the brunette's fingers up under her dress. She was silently telling Emily she was tired of waiting.

Emily pulled her lips away and ran her eyes over Alison who was panting heavily from her place on the sink. God when she looks at me like that I swear I could cum just from that. Emily kept eye contact as she slid Alison's dress up to her hips. Simultaneously, the blonde lifted her hips off of the sink slightly to let Emily push the dress farther up. Alison impatiently slid her own underwear down a few inches, giving Emily just enough room to slip her fingers inside of her.

Alison tugged on Emily's wrist and pulled the brunette up against the counter in between her legs, shoving Emily's fingers into her. "Shit," Alison hissed from the brunette's warm fingers running along her throbbing core. She released Emily's hands and strung her fingers back into the brunette locks, pulling Emily to her neck. Alison's eyes rolled back and she tilted her head to offer Emily her skin. "God I've missed you," she breathed out.

Emily started sucking hard on her neck while her fingers worked on the blonde's clit. "Em...don't leave a hickey," she spoke out through her strained breaths. Alison opened her eyes and looked at the brunette's muscles on Emily's arm, "You're so fucking sexy," she moaned out, gliding a hand over Emily's arm that was connected to the fingers buried in between her legs.

Emily pulled her mouth off of her neck, meeting Alison's eyes as she slowly pushed three fingers inside of her. Alison opened her mouth and gasped, causing Emily to shoot a hand out and cover her mouth. Emily used her own thigh to press against her hand in between Alison's legs, pushing her fingers deeper into the blonde. Alison gripped the edges of the sink and whimpered into Emily's palm that was covering her mouth. They held an intense eye connect as the brunette thrusted into her. Alison felt her thighs shake and her insides clench onto the brunette's fingers. Holy fucking shit.

Just as Alison felt her orgasm about to roll over her body, a knock from the door made them freeze. Some dude's voice boomed from behind the door: "Hurry the fuck up in there!" Emily moved her hand off of Alison's mouth, but kept her fingers inside of her. "Give me a goddamn minute!" Alison yelled back. To her complete and utter surprise, Emily pulled her fingers out and moved onto her knees in between the blonde's legs. Alison's eyes widened and silently scolded the brunette. What are you doing?!"What the fuck! Are you taking a shit or something!?" The guy shouted back while Emily was sliding Alison's underwear down her legs. Oh my god Emily. "Just use the bathroom upstairs dickwad!" Alison screamed, glancing at Emily who was moving her head up in between her legs. "Are you fucking someone in there?! Get a room!" The guy continued to argue. Alison argued right back: "Shut the -Oh!" Just as Alison was yelling back Emily ran her tongue along the blonde's folds. She looked down at Emily who was smirking at her with her mouth buried inside of her. Who is this bold girl and what did you do with my sweet, shy Emily?

Alison covered her mouth with her own hand, stifling a moan that was threatening to come out. The blonde felt Emily's tongue swirl over her clit as she attempted to compose herself to yell back: "Shut the fuck up!" The guy grumbled something and Alison saw his shadow disappear from behind the door. She looked back down at the glimmering brown eyes in between her legs, "Emily Fields I'm going to kill you," she scolded quietly, yet couldn't help but grin.That was really hot though.

Emily giggled against Alison, making the blonde breathless. Alison pushed herself forward from her place on the sink, pressing herself harder on Emily's mouth. Emily kept an arm wrapped around Alison's right thigh, moving her left hand below her mouth and pushing a finger inside of her. The blonde struggled to keep her eyes open, but she loved looking down at Emily. The brunette glanced up before added another finger, maintaining their passionate gaze. "Fuck Em," she whispered out, her knuckles turning white from gripping the sink. Emily started lightly sucking on her clit, causing Alison's eyes to flutter while she desperately attempted to keep eye contact. Emily teasingly licked her slowly and sensually over her sensitive clit, sticking her tongue out to give Alison her own personal show. Jesus. Who is this Emily?

"Em I'm.." Alison voice lingered off as she let her eyes close from pleasure. God she feels incredible. Alison whimpered as she succumbed to her orgasm, pure ecstasy rushing over her body. Emily continued licking her and pumping her fingers inside of her as Alison's legs shook hard. She leaned her head back, riding out the last waves jolting through her. She panted as Emily pulled her fingers out and proceeded to lick every single inch of her up, making her legs twitch. Alison lightly tapped the brunette's head, telling her to stop. If she keeps going we definitely will be in this bathroom all night.

Emily slowly and gently rose up off of the floor. She stepped in between Alison's legs and helped the blonde pull her underwear back up. Emily grinned at the breathless blonde as Alison shimmied her dress back over her thighs. The brunette cupped Alison's cheeks and pressed a soft kiss on her lips, "You're so beautiful," Emily whispered against her mouth.

"You're so dirty," Alison whispered back, "Were you trying to get us caught?" She teased while grabbing the cowgirl hat off of the sink and placing it back on Emily's head. The brunette let out a laugh, "No, but it was fun watching you try to talk while my tongue was in between your legs," the brunette answered back while fixing some of Alison's stray hairs. Alison glared playfully, "I'm so going to get you back for that," she replied. Emily smiled while gripping Alison's thighs and slowly helping the blonde get off of the sink. "I bet you will," Emily teased back, putting her hands on Alison's hips. The blonde wrapped her arms around Emily's shoulders and placed another kiss onto her lips, "Come on, we need to get back to Hanna."

Alison walked over to her dresser, opening a special compartment in a very specific drawer. The bottom portion of the dresser drawer would pop out, and that's where Alison hid things. She laid the Halloween photo into the space. She couldn't bare to display photos of Emily anymore. Even if you wanted to, you broke the frame dumbass.

Alison had a few other photos that were already hidden away in the compartment. Photos that she couldn't hang up on her wall. Photos that you wouldn't hang up.

She picked up a couple of pictures that were taken last November. She smiled lightly, looking at one in particular. The picture was of them kissing on the dock at the lake:

"Okay make a silly face now," Alison said while holding the camera out. The two of them were sitting on the dock with their feet dangling off, bundled up in a blanket to fight off the cold. They managed to convince Mrs. Fields to let them go to the lake before Emily's birthday party later that evening. The party was going to consist of Emily, Alison, and Mrs. Fields. Alison tried to convince the brunette to let her and Hanna throw her a proper party, but Emily wanted low key. Alison had a sneaking suspicion it was because of her father's absence.

Alison made a puckered face for the camera and Emily attempted to make a scary face. Alison snapped the picture, laughing, "Em I said silly not scary!" Emily giggled, "Here," she said while grabbing the camera, "My turn." Emily held out the camera and right when she went to snap the photo, Alison tilted the brunette's chin and kissed her softly.

Alison grabbed Emily's face and deepened their kiss. She felt Emily set the camera down on the dock, getting lost in their embrace. Alison sighed onto her lips as their tongues danced and shift herself slightly. Emily had her arm around the blonde, holding the blanket over them. She dropped her hand from Emily's cheek and ran her fingers up the brunette's thigh, stopping once she reached the inside of Emily's legs.

She rubbed Emily through her jeans, but Emily pulled her lips away and laughed, "You're a horn dog," she teased. Alison giggled back, placing a peck on her lips, "Only for you baby," she whispered, "Come on, wouldn't it be hot to have sex on the dock?" Alison asked. Emily snorted, "Sure, until a park ranger finds us and fines us for public indecency," the brunette joked. Alison shrugged and pursed her lips, "You've got a point," the blonde relented, "What about birthday sex though?" Alison asked, lightly pushing her elbow into the brunette's side.

"What did we do yesterday then?" The brunette asked, "Pretty sure I remember you telling me happy birthday around midnight when your fingers were inside of me," Emily added. Alison felt a blush creep over her cheeks . Over the past few months, Alison got to discover a new side of Emily: A bold side. And she was loving every minute of it.

"Hm," Alison feigned confusion, "I don't recall," the blonde said with a smirk. Emily laced their fingers together on her thigh, "Really? Does this ring a bell? 'Em! Oh god Em I'm going to-'" "-Okay shut up! I don't sound like that!" Alison interrupted the brunette teasing her. Emily started laughing uncontrollably. "Don't make me push you into this lake," Alison challenged. Emily opened her mouth in shock, "You wouldn't dare." Alison raised her eyebrows, "I just might, because it's more like..." the blonde leaned her mouth over to Emily's ear and moaned authentically to the brunette, earning a full on blush from Emily.

Alison smirked after she pulled her mouth away, "Okay birthday girl. Time for presents," the blonde said, changing the subject. Alison reached over to her purse on the deck and pulled out a small box. She grinned when she glanced back over to Emily and saw that the brunette was still flustered from her moaning into her ear. "Presents? Ali I thought you left your present for me at my house," Emily said. "That's one of them," Alison replied, handing the box over to Emily, "This is the other one."

The other present at the house that Alison got for Emily was a scrapbook. Mrs. Fields gave Alison some photos of Emily and her father and swimming pictures to put in the scrapbook. Alison left the rest of the book blank so Emily could add whatever else she wanted. Emily took the box from her hands, "You better have not gotten me another expensive necklace," the brunette said. "Just open it," the blonde instructed.

She watched as Emily popped the top off of the box, revealing a purple beaded bracelet that had her name on it. Alison reached over and took it out of the box, grabbing Emily's wrist and putting it on her. "I have one too," the blonde said while pulling up her sleeve, showing Emily her own that was on her wrist. "A friendship bracelet?" The brunette asked, teasing Alison. The blonde glared at her, "No...well yes...sort of. You are my best friend after all," Alison finished. Emily grinned at her, "Do best friends do this..." Emily leaned over and pecked her lips, "...with each other?" Alison's glare intensified, "You are my best friend...who I just so happen to be in love with," Alison added, "Just say thank you." Emily giggled while throwing her arm back over her, "Thank you babe."

Alison blinked her eyes a few times trying her hardest to push back the tears. The memory reminded her of her own bracelet. She walked around her room searching for it. I knew I threw it somewhere last night.

She crawled down to her stomach and looked under her duvet cover, finding the bracelet under her bed. She scooped it up and walked back over to her dresser. Alison held it in her hands, running her fingers over the beads before placing it in the hideaway compartment. We're not best friends anymore...we're not anything anymore.

She sighed heavily and walked back over to the broken picture frame. She scooped up the glass carefully and tossed the shards into her trash can. Reminder: throw out trash can that has vomit and glass in it. Yuck.

She picked up the last photo that was in the old frame. It was a photo of her and Emily in matching holiday pajamas in front of the Field's Christmas tree. Emily invited Alison over for Christmas since her own family wasn't doing anything. Jason decided to go to their father's for Christmas, so that meant Alison was going to spend the holiday alone with her mother. Alison was dreading the first family holiday after her parents divorced. Not that any of their previous holidays were magical, but she knew it would still be painful without having all of them together. There wouldn't be any yelling, but her mom would be drunk. Holidays would not be any different than any other day with her mother.

Thankfully, Emily invited her to come join her and Mrs. Fields for Christmas. It was good for the both of them. Emily was missing her dad, and Alison was missing having a normal family. Over the last few months, aside from their Friday sleepovers at the DiLaurentis', Alison found herself practically living at the Fields' home. She also had her own designated drawer at Emily's filled with clothes. Every day after school she came over to study in Emily's room, and she spent many dinners with Emily and Pam too. Her own mom barely cooked any dinners anymore after their father left. For the most part, Alison split her evenings between the Marin's and the Fields'. Considering Pam had no idea Emily and Alison were together, she often let Alison stay the night often with Emily. Of course, they never had sex with Mrs. Fields' in the house, aside from the occasional quickie under the covers after Pam went to sleep. She was originally planning on going over to Hanna's house for Christmas, but when Emily offered to spend the holiday with her and her mother, the decision was easy.

Alison smiled down at the picture, remembering when Mrs. Fields snapped the photo:

Alison arrived early at eight in the morning. Emily texted her the night before instructing her to come over for Christmas breakfast. Alison had never heard of a Christmas breakfast, but she knew Emily's family went all out for holidays. As she walked up to the front porch she grinned looking at all of the outdoor decorations. Emily recruited her for Christmas decorating the day after Thanksgiving. It was a whole ordeal, but Alison enjoyed seeing Emily act like a child excited over Christmas. She knocked lightly on the front door, and was greeted by an overly-ecstatic Emily.

"Merry Christmas!" Emily exclaimed as she opened the door for Alison to come inside. She laughed at the brunette's enthusiasm, "Hello to you too," Alison greeted. Their hands brushed against each other's as Alison gave Emily her wrapped present. They held an eye contact for a moment, and all Alison could think about was: I wish I could kiss you right now.

Emily must've had the same thought, because she had a faint blush when she went to close the front door. Alison took in Emily's outfit. The brunette was wearing a green onesie with snowmen adorning it. "Nice pajamas," Alison teased with a massive grin. Emily shot her a look as they started walking into the living room. "That reminds me," Emily said while grabbing a present under the Christmas tree, "Open," Emily insisted as she practically shoved the gift into Alison's arms.

"Okay Mrs. Clause. Exactly how much caffeine and sugar have you consumed?" Alison asked after seeing Emily bounce up and down on her toes. "Open it!" Emily said again, ignoring Alison's question. The blonde looked at her suspiciously as she gently tore off the wrapping paper. Emily was still bouncing on her toes as she watched her unwrap. The blonde smirked at her until her eyes landed on what was inside of the box.

"No," Alison said flatly. Emily shook her head at her with a grin, "You don't have a choice," the brunette retorted. "Emily I'm not wearing that," the blonde said firmly. "Yes you will! Because remember what I wore for Halloween? That was for you and Hanna," Emily argued back. Alison smiled lightly at the memory of that sexy cowgirl costume, but her smile faded as she looked back down at the piece of clothing. "No," Alison said again, "Absolutely not."

Emily pouted at her, pushing her lips out like a puppy dog, "Pleaseeeee? For me?" She asked we sweetly. Alison huffed as she pulled it out of the box, grimacing while she held it up. "Really?" She asked the brunette again with a look of caution. "Yes really! Plus..." Emily peeked over to make sure her mom wasn't in the vicinity, "...My mom is going caroling with some friends in about an hour. If you wear that for me, I promise I'll make it worth it," Emily said through a hushed voice. Alison arched her eyebrow, "Or," the blonde lowered her own voice too, "We can still have fun, freaky holiday sex without this," she whispered with annoyance while looking back at her gift.

Emily scowled at her, "Common Ali, you're no fun," she complained with another pout on her face. Alison huffed in annoyance, but gave her girl a smile. She couldn't say no to Emily while the girl was essentially begging her to do something. "Okay. Fine," Alison relented. Emily squealed, which earned a surprise look from Alison who had never heard the brunette make that sound before. "But...only for an hour and then it's coming off, okay?" Alison asked, but it wasn't really a question. "Okay," Emily replied while grabbing Alison and gently shoving her towards the stairs, "Go," the brunette said, silently telling her to change. "You're lucky I love you," Alison whispered to her before she left the brunette at the bottom of the stairs.

Alison made her way into Emily's bedroom and shut the door. She rolled her eyes as she held up the gift Emily got her: a onesie. It matched Emily's green pair, except the brunette got her a red one with reindeers on it. God the things I do for her.

Alison's annoyance dissipated after she saw the large smile on Emily's face when she descended the stairs. Seeing the brunette's pure joy and excitement over Christmas made her giddy. Every new day the blonde found more reasons of why she loved Emily. Alison wanted to run and jump into her arms, but Mrs. Fields rounded the banister as Alison was walking down. "Awh! Look at you girls!" Pam said, "Go in front of the tree so I can take some pictures!"

Alison almost let out a laugh from the memory. That Christmas was the best holiday she ever had. Her and Emily had some alone time, which was amazing, but what made the memory so fond was all of the other things she did with Emily and Mrs. Fields that day. They watched Christmas movies, made gingerbread cookies, had an amazing meal, and Pam even gifted Alison presents. She remembered almost tearing up from the hospitality and kindness they showed her that day. She felt like she had a family. A real family. And now it's all gone.

Alison walked back over to her dresser and gently put that photo in her secret hiding place. Her eyes landed on another photo that she had hidden: a picture of the two of them laying in the snow. Over the winter break, Alison spent even more time at the Fields' home. She smiled thinking of that day:

"I make the best hot chocolate," Emily boasted in front of the stove. Alison curiously watched her pour milk into a pot. "Why are you warming up milk?" The blonde asked from her spot on the barstool. Emily turned around and looked at her incredulously. "Have you never made hot chocolate?" The brunette questioned her like she was crazy. "Don't you just heat up water and put in a packet?" Alison asked back. Emily made a dramatic face of shock. "Ali that's not real hot chocolate," the brunette said, "If you're lazy you could do that, but I make the good stuff."

Alison let out a laugh, "I had no idea you are the expert of hot chocolate," the blonde teased. Emily grinned, "Well now you do," she replied while turning her attention back to the stove. Alison's eyes dropped down to the brunette's back once she turned around. Emily was wearing very short athletic shorts and a tank top. Alison ran her eyes over Emily's butt, appreciating the view, and down over her long legs. Alison loved Emily's legs, and when she wore shorts it drove her crazy.

She hopped off of bar stool and made her way around the kitchen island. Alison came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder blade. Emily sighed from the contact while she was stirring the milk. "You know, we could be using our time better while your mom is at the store," Alison said lowly, running her hands up the brunette's stomach and squeezing Emily's boobs through her shirt. Emily giggled and turned her head, leaning back and pressing a soft kiss onto Alison's lips.

"Let's go up to your bedroom," Alison whispered while placing kisses on Emily's bare shoulder. Emily hummed and tilted her head as the blonde kept kissing up along her neck. "What about the hot chocolate?" Emily asked, her breathing speeding up. Alison slid her hands down to the front of Emily's shorts and started sliding her fingers under the hem. "We can make it later," Alison whispered back. She started rubbing her fingers on the bottom of Emily's stomach, teasing her. "I don't know when my mom will come home," Emily replied, "Do you want a repeat of the first time we hooked up?" The brunette questioned while gripping the counter with one hand. Alison smirked, knowing she was successfully turning her on.

"It's been four days," Alison complained while her fingers started to dip under the front of Emily's underwear. Emily's hand grabbed Alison's wrist, preventing the blonde from going further. The brunette snorted, "You've kept track of how long it's been since the last time we've had sex?" Emily asked while trying her hardest to focus on the now boiling milk. Alison lightly bit down on her shoulder, "You don't?" The blonde asked through a whisper.

"Ali look!" Emily exclaimed suddenly and pointed out of the kitchen window. It was snowing. Emily turned off the burner on the stove, "Let's go outside!" Alison moved her hands away from Emily and put them on her hips, "Really? You'll stop making your hot chocolate for snow but not for me?" she asked sassily. Emily rolled her eyes at her and put her hands on Alison's hips, "We can have sex any day, but it doesn't snow every day." Alison glared at her but still put her arms around the brunette's shoulders, "We can't have sex every day. Not with our moms constantly up our asses," Alison said with irritation.

Emily grabbed her hand, "Come on! Let's go!" Alison sighed but let the brunette pull her outside. Emily swiped her camera off of the counter before pulling the blonde out into the snow. "Em it's so cold!" Alison complained while wrapping her arms around her body. She watched as Emily stuck her tongue out and caught a snowflake. She's so cute. Except I'd rather have her tongue on me.

Emily ran over and pulled the blonde off of the porch and into the lawn. Alison giggled at the brunette's joy. Emily could find beauty and happiness in the simplest things. Despite her shivering, Alison laughed and let Emily twirl her around like they were dancing. She pulled the blonde into a hug after she spun Alison around. "You make me so happy," Alison said while placing a soft kiss on the girl's lips. Emily hummed contentedly, "I love you." Alison grinned, "I love you too."

Alison felt more sadness wash over her. Over the months, Emily became more than just her best friend and her lover. She became her family. The brunette gave her something that she had been missing her whole life. Even the little things like birthday parties, fun holidays, making hot chocolate, or playing out in the snow meant the world to Alison. It was a normal life for Emily, but Alison never experienced those simple, fun moments with her family.

Alison eyes lingered on the photo of them smiling with snowflakes in their hair. Even though that day was less than three months ago, it felt like a lifetime ago. She missed her with her whole being. Tears slowly slipped from her eyes and down her cheeks.

She carefully arranged the pictures neatly in her hidden compartment. As she stored them away, she found a movie ticket stub. Hanna and Caleb invited Emily and Alison to go see a movie with them the first weekend of February:

Alison rolled her eyes in the dark. Hanna was already making out with Caleb five minutes into the movie. The shorter-haired blonde sat on Alison's left side, and Emily was on her right. Jesus Han. Why did you invite me and Emily if you were going to be mackin on Caleb the whole time?

Alison turned her head towards Emily who was intently watching the movie. The brunette must've felt her blue eyes on her because Emily turned and smiled at her. Alison motioned with her head over at Hanna and Caleb. Emily smirked after she saw the couple kissing, and Alison mouthed 'Get a room.' Emily giggled quietly, but turned back to watch the movie.

Alison watched the movie for another five minutes, hoping Hanna would chill out, but her friend was still kissing her boyfriend. Straight couples are so annoying. She looked over and noticed Emily holding the popcorn in her lap, and an idea came to her head. She looked back at Hanna and Caleb, making sure they weren't looking as she snaked her hand under the arm rest.

Her fingers found Emily's thigh, discreetly hiding her hand under the popcorn the brunette was holding. She kept her eyes trained on the screen, but she felt Emily's eyes looking at her. Alison smirked to herself as she ran her fingers up the brunette's jeans. Emily adjusted herself slightly in her seat, scooting an inch closer to her. If Hanna can have fun, so can I.

Alison moved her fingers closer to the inside of Emily's thigh, rubbing slow circles on her. She glanced over to the brunette. She could see a blush forming on her face in the glow of the movie light. Emily met her eyes and raised her eyebrow at her. She mouthed 'What are you doing?' to Alison, but the blonde simply turned her attention back to the movie. You'll know exactly what I'm doing in a minute.

She slowly moved her fingers higher up until they rested directly on Emily's center through her jeans. She felt her own heartbeat speed up from feeling the heat coming from the brunette. She's already wet. Alison could hear Emily's breath hitch when she pushed her fingers harder onto her. She smirked when she saw Emily's left hand grip the armrest that was between them.

She checked to make sure Hanna was still distracted by Caleb's mouth before she started rubbing her fingers on Emily. Alison had to move slow and be careful not to let Hanna see anything. She looked back over to Emily who had her eyes closed, clearly struggling not to let out a moan. Alison could see the brunette letting out slow and shallow breaths. God she's so beautiful.

Emily squeezed her thighs closed over Alison's hand, and the blonde couldn't help but smirk. She's about to come. Alison pressed her fingers harder onto the area where the brunette's clit was, feeling Emily's thighs start to tremble. I have a way better idea.

She suddenly pulled her hand away and leaned over to Emily's ear. "Come to the bathroom with me," she whispered.

Her and Emily sat up simultaneously and crept out of the theatre. "You're evil," Emily said once they theatre doors closed behind them. "I know," Alison teased back.

They sped walked into the bathroom and Alison pulled her into the stall. She instantly connected her lips with Emily's, lightly shoving her up against the stall door.

Alison kept their lips together as she quickly unbuttoned Emily's jeans and yanked the zipper down. She wanted to pull her jeans off completely, but she knew they didn't have time for that.

Alison pulled her lips off of Emily's and started kissing the pulse point on her neck. She shoved her hand down under the brunette's underwear, moaning on her neck from feeling how wet Emily was.

"I thought you said you were excited to watch that movie," Emily panted out through heavy breaths. Alison used her pointer finger to rub her clit, causing Emily to let out a breathy moan. "Are you complaining?" Alison mumbled against her neck.

Emily let out a shaky breath as she strung her fingers into Alison's hair. "No," the brunette breathed out through a soft moan. "Good," Alison said while sliding her fingers down and slipping two of them inside of her.

"Fuck Ali," Emily whispered, bucking her hips against the blonde's fingers. Alison sucked harder on her neck and used her other hand to slide down Emily's jeans another inch. "You know," Emily muttered, "Some people might say the amount of sex we have is unhealthy," she said while the blonde was two fingers deep inside of her.

Alison pulled her lips off of her neck and faced the flushed brunette that she had pressed up against the stall door. "Are you really trying to have a conversation with me while I'm fucking you?" Alison asked, playfully raising at eyebrow at her. Emily grinned at her before the blonde wiped the smile off of her face by adding another finger. "God," Emily sighed while throwing her head back against the door.

Alison smirked as she felt Emily tighten around her fingers. She gripped the side of the brunette's thigh, keeping her girl in place. Alison learned a few things about Emily after sleeping with her for months. One of those things she learned was that the brunette could never stay still while she orgasmed.

Emily whimpered quietly as she finished on her fingers. Alison kept her fingers inside of her and leaned up to her ear, "That was way better than any movie," she whispered. Emily had her eyes closed and her head leaned back still. "Agreed," she breathed out.

Alison smiled and tugged her hand out from under her jeans. Emily snapped back to reality and started zipping up her jeans. She went to reach for the stall handle, but Emily put her hand out. "What about you?" The brunette asked. "Oh I plan on doing a lot more than that after we get back to my place," Alison replied, "That was just the preview." She gave Emily a wink before exiting the bathroom stall.

Alison moved the movie stub up under the stack of photos. She walked over to another item that she threw across her room: the Valentine's card.

Emily and her had to work together on Valentines. Ironically, all of their other coworkers requested the evening off to spend time with their significant others.

Alison traced her finger over the words Emily wrote in the card, following every hoop and curve of her penmanship. Despite having to work together, Emily made the day special:

"This sucks," Alison mumbled after a customer exited the store, leaving her and Emily alone at the front counter. Emily smiled, "It's not that bad. At least we can spend Valentines together," the brunette said while leaning against the counter. Alison reached up a bopped Emily's visor, "I would rather be spending Valentines night with us naked in my bed," she complained and proceeded to sit up on the counter.

"I think it's romantic," Emily replied while fixing her hat, "Also, if Robin saw you sitting on the counter she'd ring your neck," the brunette added. Alison smirked down at her, "You think serving fried food and soft serve is romantic?" The blonde questioned as she swayed her feet that were dangling off of the counter. Emily walked over to the food containers and scooped up some crushed Oreos, popping some in her mouth, "Mhm."

Alison scoffed, "You're telling me I'm bad for sitting on the counter, but you're eating the profits," she teased. Emily grinned at her and shrugged, "I guess your bad girl tendencies have rubbed off on me." Alison raised her eyebrow, "I've rubbed off a lot on you," the blonde replied in a sensual tone and very obviously ran her eyes over Emily's body. Emily let out a laugh and blushed. I love that I can still make her cheeks red.

"Anyways," Emily said, "It's romantic because this is where we first met." Alison smiled and listened to the brunette talk.

"You know," Emily said quietly, "I'll never forget when you walked through those doors. You strutted in here like you owned the place. You sat up on the counter on the same spot you're sitting now. I was completely enamored by you. The way you held yourself...your confidence. It was one of the first things that made me fall in love," Emily complimented as she stood across from the blonde.

Alison smiled sweetly at her, "Want to know one of the first things I noticed about you?" She asked. Emily looked up at her in question as Alison hopped off of the counter. She sauntered up in front of the brunette and leaned in until their mouths were inches away, "Your red cheeks," Alison whispered and instantly turned back around.

She hopped back onto the counter and grinned seeing Emily blush. "I was nervous for my first day," the brunette explained. Alison laughed, "Nuh uh, don't lie. You likedddddd meeeee," the blonde teased in a sing song voice. Emily faked a scowl and rolled her eyes, yet her cheeks continued to get redder. "You had a big fat crushhhhhh on meeee," Alison continued teasing her. "Ha ha ha," Emily replied back sarcastically, "Very funny. Keep teasing me and I won't stay the night with you tonight."

Alison raised her eyebrows, "So you're bribing me with sex?" She asked. Emily smirked and nodded her head, "Yup," she answered while crossing her arms over her torso. "Okay fine, I'll stop messing with you," the blonde relented, "For the record..." Alison spoke up again, "...I may have had a little crush too," she admitted quietly.

Emily grinned, "I know," the brunette replied and started walking into the back of the store. Wait. What? Alison hopped off of the counter and started following the brunette into the back, "What do you mean you know?" Alison questioned her. Emily continued walking away, refusing to answer the flustered blonde. "Emily, answer me," the blonde demanded while walking after her. Emily kept walking until she reached her bag and started rummaging through it.

Alison stood with her hands on her hips, waiting impatiently for the brunette to turn around. Emily pulled out a card from her bag and turned around. "For you," she said while holding it out to the blonde. "No. You have to tell me why you thought I had a crush on you," Alison argued. Emily giggled, "I didn't think. I knew," she answered back. "Bullshit. You didn't know," Alison retorted. "Are you going to open the card?" Emily asked, ignoring her. "Not until you tell me," Alison challenged back. "Sorry, a girl's gotta have her secrets," Emily teased. "I think you're lying," Alison replied. "I think you're relentless," Emily snapped back jokingly. "If you don't tell me, I'm holding out for a month," Alison retorted. Emily scoffed at her, "You and I both know you couldn't last a whole month without sex," the brunette teased. "I have a hand, I can use it," Alison argued. Emily smirked, "I didn't know we do ultimatums," the brunette replied. "We do now," Alison said with her hands still on her hips.

"Are you going to open the card or what?" Emily asked again, still refusing to answer her. "Fine, but I'll get it out of you one way or another," Alison answered and grabbed the card from Emily. "Mhm, we'll see," Emily smirked back. Alison glared at her in response and gently tore open the envelope. Her frustration disappeared after she saw the Valentines Card.

The front of the card had two cartoon ice cream cone characters, and the front said 'You Make Me Melt'. Alison smiled and looked up at Emily who was grinning back at her. "I saw it at the store and I thought it was fitting," Emily said. Alison proceeded to open the card and read the inside: 'Ali, From the moment I met you, I knew you were special. I just had no idea just how special you would become in my life. Meeting you, getting to know you, befriending you, liking you, and now loving you has been the greatest gift I've ever been given. You have given me love. We may have met by fate or chance, but choice is what has led us to love. The choice of choosing each other and being each other's person. Thank you for choosing me. I love you, Emily'.

"Em," Alison said softly, "Thank you." "I love you," The brunette replied. "I love you too," the blonde repeated the same sentiment while Emily turned around and pulled something else from her bag. "Also for you," Emily said while handing her something small wrapped in tissue paper.

Alison smiled and unwrapped the tissue paper, revealing a gold chained necklace with a heart-shaped locket at the end. "Em," Alison said softly, "It's gorgeous." Emily smiled at her, "Open the locket," she instructed.

Alison gently opened the heart. Inside was a tiny picture of the two of them. "I love it," she whispered to the brunette, "This must have cost a fortune." Alison felt tears filling in her eyes. "I wanted to get you something special," Emily replied. Alison leaned up to kiss her, but just as their lips almost met, the bell went off from the front of the store, signaling a customer coming in. "Ugh," Alison grumbled, "Now do you think working together on Valentines Day is romantic?" She complained. Emily laughed, "We'll make up for it afterwards," she whispered and started walking up to the front of the store. Right before she turned the corner, she smacked her own butt for Alison to see, making the blonde cackle. God I love her.

Alison's tears dropped onto the card, soaking into the card stock. She reached to her neckline where she wore the necklace. In her drunken haze, she faintly remembered putting the necklace on last night. At least I didn't throw this across my room.

Alison choked back a sob, trying desperately to fight it. She walked back to her drawer, placing the card inside. She unhooked her necklace, carefully laying it inside as well.

She took a deep breath when she saw the last thing laying on her bedroom floor. Alison walked over and bent down, scooping up the stuffed animal. The plush was a little brown bear holding a heart.

Emily got her the plush two weeks ago when she had been extremely sick with a cold:

"Em, what are you doing here?" Alison asked from her place in her bed. She specifically told the brunette to not come over when they were texting early that day. "Do you really think I wouldn't come over and take care of you?" Emily replied while walking into her room. "I look awful. Don't look at me," Alison said while pulling her duvet over her head, hiding from Emily.

She heard Emily laugh and felt the brunette sit on the bed beside her. "I don't care what you look like," Emily replied. Alison felt Emily's hand reach up and pull down the duvet that she was hiding under. The blonde put her hands over her face once Emily tugged the cover down. "I don't want you to see me like this," Alison grumbled through her stuffy voice.

"If I remember correctly, you saw me at my worst once before too," Emily said while grabbing Alison's hands and pulling them into her lap. "Do you remember when I threw up in front of you?" Emily asked, smiling down at her. Alison buried her face into her pillow. "That was different," Alison argued while still trying to hide her face. Emily let out a laugh, "Oh really? How was it any different?" The brunette questioned.

Emily reached up and gently moved Alison's hair out of her face. The blonde groaned and pouted at the brunette, giving up on her attempt to hide. Emily was smirking down at her. "You still looked cute when you were sick. I look like death," Alison kept arguing with her scratchy voice. Emily ran her fingers over her red cheeks, "You don't look like death," the brunette responded with a chuckle.

Alison pulled the duvet back up to her face again, covering everything but her eyes peeking out, "Yes I do," she argued back. Emily smirked, "So I can see you naked, but I can't see you when you're sick?" The brunette asked. "Yes," Alison replied through the sheet.

Emily put her hand up to Alison's forehead and her brows furrowed with concern, "You feel hot. Are you running a fever?" The brunette questioned. "Probably," Alison grumbled, "Another reason why you shouldn't be here." Emily rolled her eyes at her, "Too late," she said while getting up from the bed and walking over to a large grocery bag she laid on Alison's vanity when she first came into the bedroom.

Alison lifted her head off of her pillow, watching Emily walk back over with the bag in hand. "I got you everything you'll need to kick this cold in the ass," she said while sitting back down beside the sick girl. Emily started pulling items out of the care package she got for Alison. "First, cold medicine," Emily started listing off the things she bought, "Homemade soup, curtesy of my mother. Vicks vapor rub, a necessity. Gatorade to stay hydrated," Emily said while displaying everything to Alison and setting it all on her nightstand.

"And lastly, romcom movies for us to watch," Emily said proudly while showing off the movie selection to the blonde still hiding under the sheet. "Em, you didn't need to do all of that," Alison replied with her voice stuffy. "Oh!" Emily exclaimed, "I almost forgot," she said with a shit-eating grin. Alison watched Emily pull out a tiny stuffed bear, "A stuffed animal!" Alison started laughing, but her laughs turned into a cough. "Ugh god," she groaned, finally letting the sheet fall off of her face.

"Here," Emily leaned over her, "Sit up," she instructed. Alison sat up and Emily adjusted her pillows so she could lay higher up. "I'm going to go warm up your soup downstairs so you have something in your stomach before you take the medicine," she said. Emily got up from the bed, but Alison stuck her hand out onto Emily's, "Thank you," Alison said softly. Emily smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto her forehead, "Of course."

Alison smiled softly through her tears thinking of that day. Emily stayed over for hours and took care of her. They watched movies and cuddled in bed the rest of the day.

Alison walked back over to the dresser, hurriedly shoving the plush into her drawer of mementos and closed it up. Hidden away like the way I hid her. Ironic.

All of the memories with Emily started flashing in her head, making her want to scream. I can't. I can't feel this. It's too much.

Alison opened her bedroom door and crept downstairs. She snuck past her mom who was still asleep on the couch. The time on the kitchen oven read eleven a.m. It's five o'clock somewhere.

She reached into the liqour cabinet and pulled out one of her dad's old whiskey bottles, popping the top off and taking a generous swig. Alison grimaced and closed her eyes as the liqour slid down her throat and warmed her body. If I can't escape her or forget her, I can numb it.

Alison swayed out of the kitchen, stopping in front of her mother who had an empty bottle of wine on the side table from last night. She raised up the whiskey bottle in the air. Cheers mom.


Yikes.

Do you hate me yet?

We had lots of cute memories mixed in with all of the heartbreak Alison is dealing with. It might be a little confusing now, but I can guess you all have your assumptions as to what exactly went down between them. We'll have some more background from Emily's perspective in the next chapter.

I'm already halfway through writing part two, so I promise I won't make you wait as long. We'll do our recap and chat more after I upload the next chapter. See you soon. Xoxo

~3mison