Hi my sweet Emison babes. I'm back with part two! Wow I'm sorry it has taken me forever and a day to update. July was super crazy busy for me!...Birthday celebrations, bridal showers, weddings, lots of friend time, and getting up in the mountains. I hope you all have been enjoying your summer! This is a very big and important chapter, and I needed the time to get it right! This is my longest one to date...I think we're right around 28 thousand words. So it's more like a whole ass novel lol. It's a heavy one...so bring the Kleenex to blow your nose, a pillow to scream into, or pull up a season 7 Emison scene on YouTube to make yourself feel better;) This chapter will be in Emily's POV. I'm debating on just changing the rating of the story to M. That being said though, this is rated M for Mature. Okay back to our regular scheduled programming...enjoy!

In response to the reviews: •To the first guest reviewer, it was painful for me to write too. Sorry to make you cry, but it wouldn't be classic Emison without some angst ;). Thank you so much for your sweet compliment! I love that there's still some of us left still in this little fandom. Hope to see you next time! •To the other guest reviewer, hey hey hey! How awesome! What part of Canada? I have a great aunt and and uncle who live in British Columbia and I was able to travel up there when I was in high school. Canada is gorgeous! I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't necessarily promise anything about Bradley, Paige, and Samara ;) See you next time! •tflpellc, It was roughhhhh, and unfortunately it may get a little bit worse before it gets better. See you next time friend! •Packersgirl492, I totally understand dealing with internalized homophobia. That's something I still deal with occasionally. It's definitely not crazy praying to god about making you 'normal'. I think a lot of us have been there before. That is so sweet about your mom, brother, and grandpa. So I'm assuming they knew before you told them then? Also I noticed you used past tense when speaking about your grandpa, so I'm assuming he has passed? If so, I'm so sorry for your loss. Grandparents are very special. That's awesome that you can still find peace and spiritual contentment in your faith. Hahahaha I love that you said holy cow. I was hanging out with my friend who is from the east coast and I said "running around like a chicken with my head cut off" to them, and they looked at me like I was crazy. They had never heard of that saying before so maybe it's a West/Midwest thing lol. Anywho, that seems very extensive, but I bet you're excited to receive your PhD in the future. You'll have to treat yourself and go on a vacation when you do! And yeah the stuff with my old coach was all pretty messed up. The investigation didn't even happen until after I graduated. I never said anything in high school, but he also coached a middle school girls' team and unfortunately the year after I graduated something happened with one of those girls….which infuriates me. So during my freshman year in college I received a call from a detective. Some of my old teammates already spoke with the detective before I even knew it was happening. They all mentioned my name because they all knew how he was with me. Funny enough, my teammates tried to convince me to tell my parents senior year, but because I was being groomed I felt guilty and scared and made them promise not to say anything. The truth always comes out though. Anyways, I had to come back from college and give my statement and show proof of everything. Even though he didn't get prosecuted, his wife divorced him so karma helped out lol. I could go on and on about the details but I'll spare you haha. It's very ironic I mentioned that to you because a few days ago he found me on Tik Tok and followed me...creep. Anywho...Dude!! I cackled when you mentioned Ezria interrupting the 5X05 kiss scene. Unfortunately even in the later seasons, Emison didn't get such detailed intimate scenes as the straight couples did (or really anyone that Emily was with). But omg yes I was so upset that their season five kiss was brushed off and that they never talked about it with each other. It was such a huge moment for them and of course the writers proceeded to go down the whole 'Ali being A' plot line. The scene of Emily saying she was done with Alison broke my heart, but in a way I was proud of her for standing up for herself. Ugh…Lorenzo…Gag. And Paige was like the goddamn fucking plague (even though I know she loved Emily blah blah blah). Moving onnnn, AWH they're a bonded pair? That's so sweet. Did they come from the same litter? Sonnet is such a pretty name too. Okay now onto the story...the Christmas memory was my favorite one as well! To answer your theory about Alison really focused on having sex: yes and no. It's funny you picked up on that because I was going to throw in a love making scene (so it didn't seem like Ali was just trying to fuck lol), and I legit had it all wrote and then I edited it out last minute. BUT, I did do that on purpose and I promise there's a method to my madness. However, you definitely are somewhat on the right track. So I guess all I can say to that is yes and no! That'll all be addressed in this chapter. I can't say too much though...Eeeep...Is it bad I like writing angsty Emison? Lol. Okay friend see you next time! •To the last guest reviewer, hi back to you! I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so far. I've loved writing it:) Alison is my favorite to write as well. I'm excited you're along for the ride! Hope to see you next time.

~3mison

Chapter Sixteen: The Choice-Part Two

"Don't date broken girls,

my mother said.

"But they deserve to be loved too."

And so I loved a broken girl more than anything;

I just didn't realize she would break me too."

-a poem from Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell

Earlier that same morning,

Emily's feet pounded across the pavement at a fast and methodical pace. She had been running for the past thirty minutes after she left her house around six. Normally she would put headphones in on her runs, but today she forgot them. Her mind was elsewhere.

Running was her escape, and most days her work outs helped calm her mind. Today, however, the running wasn't helping at all. It didn't take long for the silence and her overwhelming thoughts to become too much. She diverted off of her normal path and started running towards a new destination.

Emily arrived at the familiar house and start knocking on the front door. Please open up. I have to talk to you. I can't handle this on my own.

Thankfully, the door swung open, and she was greeted by the person she needed the most.

"Emily, hey! What are you doing here?" Spencer questioned. As soon as Emily saw her friend, tears started building in her eyes. Spencer noticed the emotion on her face immediately.

"Oh no. Is it your dad?" Spencer asked from her place by the door. "No, he's okay," Emily croaked out while trying to fight back her tears, "I know you have school in an hour, but can we talk?"

"Of course! Come in," Spencer answered. The two girls ascended the Hasting's stairs and went into Spencer's bedroom. Emily walked over to her friend's bed and sat on the edge. Spencer stood by her closed bedroom door and eyed her curiously, "Em," she said softly, "Are you okay?"

Emily's lip quivered and she finally let the tears fall from her eyes and down her face. "No," she replied. Spencer walked over to her chair and sat across from Emily, waiting patiently for her friend to tell her what was wrong.

"Spence...I've been lying to you," Emily said with tears streaming down her cheeks. Spencer furrowed her eyebrows, "What do you mean?" She asked. Emily leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and put her hands on her face. "I haven't been honest with you about certain things in my life," she admitted, wiping some tears away from her cheeks.

"Is this about Alison?" Spencer asked. Emily eyes shot up to her, "H-how...what...how did-" "-Emily, I know," Spencer interrupted the shocked brunette sitting on her bed. "What do you know?" Emily asked. Spencer smiled softly, "I'm more than just book smart," she replied, "I figured you would come and tell me whenever you were ready."

Emily sat silently for a few moments, contemplating exactly how to respond. "So it's true," Spencer spoke up again, "You and her...you're together," she stated. Emily nodded her head, "Yes. Well no...not anymore," Emily answered.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, "So you were just sleeping together?" She asked while leaning forward on her chair. "No. We love each other. We are in love with each other," Emily replied, her voice getting clearer as her tears dried up. Emily felt a heaviness that had been weighing her down for months slowly start to lift off of her shoulders.

"You said not anymore..." Spencer said while answering her own questions out loud, "...So that means that you two ended things?" Emily nodded, running her hand through her hair, "I did," she replied quietly.

Spencer raised her eyebrow again, "You broke up with her?" She asked. Emily pursed her lips, "I guess you can say that," she said in response. "Okay, you're going to have to clue me in because you're being really cryptic," Spencer said.

Emily sighed and sat up from the bed and began pacing, "That's the thing Spence, we weren't ever officially together," she said with frustration in her voice, "God I don't even know where to begin!"

"Just start from the beginning," Spencer offered. Emily ran her fingers through her hair and walked back over to the bed. Spencer sat silently listening to Emily talk for over ten minutes. She told Spencer every detail from Alison kissing her, from telling her she wasn't gay, to professing her feelings for her at the lake. She also told Spencer about losing their virginity to each other.

"Wow," Spencer said in response after Emily stopped talking. Emily let out a short, sarcastic laugh, "Yeah," she breathed out. Emily got up from the bed and began pacing again. Spencer's eyes squinted at her, "So you're telling me you've been with her for over half a year and she's made you keep this a secret?" Spencer scoffed and kept talking: "That's such a classic Alison move. I'm going to kill her."

"Spencer it wasn't her fault," Emily sighed and leaned up against her friend's desk. Spencer eyes flashed up to her, "Emily don't defend her!" She said, her voice raising, "She manipulated you!"

"She didn't manipulate me! We love each other Spencer. I was...I am in love with her," Emily argued, "And by the way, she didn't make me do anything." Spencer rolled her eyes, "I understand that Emily, but I'm having a hard time seeing Alison as the good person here," Spencer criticized. "You don't know her Spencer! She's an amazing person. She just has a bad home life and her parents are a mess," Emily explained, trying her best to defend the blonde.

"Okay you're right, I don't know her," Spencer relented, "But I know you." Emily eyed her suspiciously as Spencer kept talking: "I know that you would do anything for the people you love. Clearly you love her...I already knew that. You stood by her and respected her wishes of not telling anyone, but obviously you hit a breaking point. So she must have done something? Am I right?" Spencer asked.

Emily nodded her head lightly. "In my opinion, I don't think a bad home life justifies her being unwilling to tell people about you," Spencer admitted. Emily opened her mouth to defend Alison again, but Spencer held up a finger to her. "I hear you, okay? I don't know her the way you do. I honestly have hated her guts for years," Spencer said.

"Spen-" "-But," Spencer interrupted, "She must not be the person that I think she is." Emily looked at her with confusion. "You love her, and if the Emily I know loves someone, that person must be great. Because you are," Spencer complimented, "She's not my favorite person in the entire world, but I can see how much she means to you." Emily smiled, surprised from her friend's admission. "So," Spencer spoke up again, "Tell me."

"Don't you have to get to school?" Emily asked. Spencer shook her head and smiled, taking off her jacket and laying it on the chair she was sitting on. "Nope. I am going to sit here while you tell me what happened. Even if it takes all day," Spencer said. "Are you sure?" Emily asked. "Yes, what are friends for?" Spencer asked back, giving Emily a big smile.

"About that, I'm sorry...I'm sorry for not being a good friend to you recently. I've been-" "-Banging a blonde?" Spencer teased with a shit-eating grin. Emily let out a laugh and rolled her eyes, "Seriously though, I'm sorry." Spencer smiled softly, "It's okay Em, I understand."

Emily walked back over to the bed and sat across from her, "So...how did you know?" Emily asked. Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes jokingly, "Emily, you've been attached to her hip ever since you met her. I've seen the way you look at her. A blind person could figure it out. I honestly thought you just had a massive crush on her for awhile, but then I started noticing Alison look at you the same way. It wasn't hard to put two and two together." Emily raised her eyebrow, "Really?" She asked. "Yes really," Spencer answered through a laugh.

"You almost caught us one time, you know?" Emily stated with a small smile. Spencer now was the one raising her eyebrow, "Like caught you guys..." "Yeah," Emily admitted. "Shut up! When?" She asked with a chuckle. Emily laughed with her, "Like five months ago..."

"I love you," Emily said while kissing the top of Alison's head. "Mm I love you too," Alison hummed back, pressing a kiss onto Emily's bare shoulder, "That was incredible," the blonde mumbled onto her tan skin. The two of them were laying naked under the sheets, cuddling together and breathing heavily. "I still can't believe you ditched school," Emily whispered against her blonde locks. Alison giggled and adjusted herself so she could face Emily, "It was only last period," she replied while sliding her leg over the brunette, placing it strategically in between Emily's thighs.

Mrs. Fields left the house early that afternoon to go on a wine tasting with Mrs. Hastings, and Alison took full advantage of having Emily all to herself. The blonde left school early and surprised Emily by showing up at her front door.

Emily reached her hand down and caressed Alison's cheek, her fingers still damp from being inside of the blonde moments ago. "You're so beautiful," Emily whispered, "I wish we could stay here forever." Alison grinned up at Emily with her dimples showing and leaned up pressed a soft, languid kiss against her lips. "Me too," she whispered back. The blonde laid her head back onto Emily's chest and traced circles across her bare abdomen under the sheet.

They laid together in comfortable silence, holding each other in quite serenity. Emily had her arm around the blonde, rubbing her hand over the back of Alison's shoulder blades. "You're a dream. You know that, right?" Alison said softly. Alison tilted her head up and made eye contact with her. Emily smiled down at her, "I'm very real. Not a dream. I promise," she replied back. "Sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself," Alison added while moving her hand up to the brunette's jaw and running the pad of her finger over Emily's lips.

Emily stuck her tongue out and licked her finger seductively, teasing the blonde. She then proceeded to wrap her lips around Alison's thumb and sucked lightly on it. Emily watched Alison's blue eyes darken and flicker down to her lips while she sucked on the blonde's thumb. "Fuck," the blonde cursed quietly, appreciating the feeling of Emily's tongue swirling over her finger. Alison pulled her hand away and slid her body over Emily's hips so that she was laying fully on top of her. She pressed her lips firmly onto Emily's and drug her fingers down the side of the brunette's naked body until they rested on Emily's hip bone.

Emily pulled her lips away and met the blue eyes staring passionately down at her. "Again?" Emily asked with a smile. "What? Can't handle it Fields?" Alison asked while wiggling her hips lightly so that it caused friction against her. Oh I can handle it. Emily felt a wave of heat rush through her body all over again as she attempted to grab Alison's hips and flip her onto the mattress.

Alison knew Emily's tricks well enough now to know exactly what she had planned. The blonde firmly pressed her hands onto the bed on either side of Emily's head, preventing the brunette from moving her. Emily watched Alison smirk down at her and she couldn't help but make a fake pout face at the blonde. Alison giggled at her and leaned down to peck her lips. "You can't always be on top," Emily grumbled once their kiss was broken. Alison smirked again, "And why is that?" She teased.

Before Emily could respond, Alison moved her lips to her neck and began pressing wet, hot kisses along her pulse point. Emily let out a breath and slid her hand from Alison's hip in between their bodies, trying to slip her fingers back into the blonde. Alison suddenly lifted herself up off of the mattress and held her body over Emily so that she was hovering above the brunette. "Because you've already given me three orgasms and I've only given you one. It's not fair," Emily finally answered, "What about equality?" The brunette added with a small smile.

Alison rolled her eyes playfully down at the frustrated brunette, "Maybe I just love watching you squirm underneath me..." Alison responded, her tone changing, "...I love watching you lose control from my touch..." Alison replied again softly while sitting up on Emily's hips, "...I love hearing you moan my name..." she murmured with a quite and sultry voice. Alison began running her fingertips along the brunette's collarbone at an excruciatingly slow pace as she spoke. She traced them down Emily's chest, along her sternum, and over the soft skin of her breasts, leaving goosebumps along the tan skin in their wake.

Emily closed her eyes as she felt the light touch of her lover's fingers caressing her skin. Her breathing was getting shallow and quick. She felt herself losing the control that she was previously trying hard to gain over Alison. The blonde's fingers worked their way back up to Emily's chest and traced softly back over her collar bone. Emily opened her eyes and looked back up to Alison, noticing the blonde's smirk had disappeared and morphed into a loving, yet desire filled look. Alison's mouth was parted slightly as she gazed back down at her.

"I love seeing your cheeks get red..." Alison said lowly, moving her fingertips up Emily's neck, "...I love watching you get breathless..." Alison traced a finger along Emily's jawline as she continued speaking. "...I love watching you grip the sheets..." she whispered while running her finger along Emily's parted lips. Emily's heart was already pounding out of her chest as she listened to Alison. The blonde's light touch was creating electricity all over her body, charging the room with intensity.

"...I love feeling how fast your heart races..." she mumbled quietly while moving her fingers over Emily's chest, tracing circles directly over the brunette's pounding heart. "...I love seeing you throw your head back onto the pillow..." Alison whispered, dragging her fingertips slowly over Emily's boobs and lightly grazed her hardened nipples.

Emily let out a breathy moan, her body losing complete control from Alison's touch. "...I love licking you and tasting you..." she muttered, slowly moving her fingers over Emily's toned abs, making the brunette's muscles twitch, "...I love hearing you whimper when I tease you..." Alison sighed out.

Emily looked down at every slow movement that Alison's fingers were making over her body, feeling overwhelming wetness pool between her legs. Emily was taking in fast breaths as Alison worked magic on her. "...I love feeling your hips shake and tremble when you're about to cum..." she whispered, grazing her fingers up along the sides of Emily's torso. Alison tilted her head as their eyes met, smirking lovingly down at the brunette who was intoxicated from her touch. "Ali..." Emily whispered and gripped the blonde's hips, "...Please..." she breathed out.

"Please what?" Alison asked back quietly, teasing her even more. Emily felt shock waves roll over her body when Alison's fingers traced back down her stomach, gliding slowly over the skin directly above her pussy. Emily slammed her eyes shut. She felt like she was already about to orgasm. "Ali..." Emily whimpered and looked back at Alison through her hooded eyes, "...Please," she requested again with heavy breaths.

Alison shifted from her sitting position on Emily's hips and moved back to hover over the brunette. She leaned down and ran her tongue slowly up Emily's sternum all the way up to her chest, leaving a wet trail. Emily's hands slid up to Alison's lower bare back and gripped the blonde's pale skin. She continued licking up the center of Emily's throat until their lips clashed together in a heated kiss.

Emily moved her hands up to Alison's face as she met the blonde's tongue. Alison shifted her body while still kissing her and moved her thigh in between Emily's legs, pressing hard onto the brunette's hot, wet center. "Oh god," Emily moaned while ripping her lips away from Alison's and throwing her head back. "And most of all..." Alison breathed out while leaning down to Emily's ear, "...I love making love to you," she whispered quietly to Emily.

Alison moved back over her so that their lips were barely touching. Emily opened her eyes and held eye contact with her as the blonde reached up and held a hand by her cheek. "Can we try something?" Alison asked. "What do you mean?" Emily questioned, still squirming from the blonde's thigh pressed up against her. Emily watched a flash of shyness appear from Alison. "Like try something new...in bed?" Emily assumed. Alison bit her lip and nodded her head.

"What did you want try?" Emily asked, reaching up and tucking Alison's hair behind one of her ears. Alison broke eye contact for a moment before she answered her. "Can I...can I sit..." Alison stuttered out, unable to finish her sentence. Emily raised her eyebrow and smirked, "Sit on my face?" She asked, finishing the blonde's question herself.

Alison's cheeks reddened as she smiled shyly, "Yeah." Emily simply reached down and grabbed her hips, pulling Alison forward. "Are you sure?" Alison asked again. Emily nodded in reply. "If you don't like it, I can stop," Alison said while moving to straddle the brunette's face. Emily felt her whole entire body light on fire, and instead of being nervous, she gripped Alison's hips and pulled her right down on top of her.

"Oh god Em," Alison moaned out as soon as Emily's tongue touched her. She looked up and watched Alison grip the headboard above her as she buried her face inside of the blonde. Emily felt Alison's thighs shake from holding herself above her. She pulled her mouth away and made eye contact with Alison, "Sit," Emily requested firmly.

"I don't want to squish you," Alison breathed out, looking down at the brunette below her. Emily pulled roughly on her hips, forcing the blonde to sit fully on the top of her chest. "Em...I'm heavier than you," Alison complained while attempting to lift herself up higher. Emily held her thighs in place, preventing Alison from moving.

"Emily I don't- Oh!" Emily ran her tongue up along the blonde's folds and moaned from tasting her sweetness. She pushed up on Alison's thighs, forcing the blonde to sit up slightly while sliding lower so that her face was directly under Alison's center. Then she pulled back down on her thighs, letting the blonde fully sit on her face. "Oh fuck fuck fuck," Alison yelled out from Emily's tongue inside of her. Emily grinned to herself while dipping her tongue in Alison's entrance, loving hearing her curse.

One of Alison's hands flew down from the headboard and laced her fingers through one of Emily's hands on her thigh. Emily felt Alison's thighs shake, but this time it was from pleasure, not discomfort. "Emily oh my god you feel so good," Alison moaned out, lightly grinding herself on her face. Emily moaned onto the blonde, feeling her own self get close to orgasm from Alison coating her face.

Alison had her head thrown back and her chest pushed out. Emily loved watching the effect she had on the blonde when they were in bed. After the past few months of them getting more comfortable and exploring each other's bodies, Emily noted every single detail about Alison in the intense moments of ecstasy and passion.

The quite breathy moans she let out. The way her skin shines from a light sheen of sweat. Her eyes rolling back when Emily slides her fingers inside of her. The way her thighs tremble when she is close. How she holds her breath when she orgasms. Emily took in every minuscule detail of her. She loved learning more about the blonde.

"Look at me," Emily quietly demanded after pulling her mouth off of her. Alison gazed down at her through hooded eyelids and made eye contact as Emily slowly gliding her tongue through her. Alison parted her mouth and whimpered, struggling to keep her eyes open. Emily slide her fingers up Alison's torso and gripped one of her breasts tightly.

She saw the blonde inhale and hold her breath, "Em," Alison whispered while coming on the brunette's face, her thighs tightening around Emily's head. Emily gently sucked and licked up all of the blonde's cum as she trembled on top of her. "Holy shit," Alison breathed out while looking down at Emily who was watching her with her face buried inside of the blonde.

Alison gently sat up off of the brunette, her thighs still shaking. Emily reached up and wiped her face as the blonde lowered herself back on top of her body. "That was..." Alison mumbled against the brunette's neck. Emily reached an arm up and slid her fingers through her blonde locks, "Hot," Emily said, finishing her sentence. Alison giggled against her tan skin, "Mhm."

Emily used a finger to tilt her chin up and gingerly pulled Alison to her lips. They kissed each other slowly and leisurely, soaking up every moment of having this time to themselves. "You're my everything," Alison whispered after she moved her lips off of Emily's. "You sure that's not the orgasm talking?" Emily teased.

Alison scowled at her and used a hand to lightly smack her on the arm. "No," she answered, "I mean it Emily...being with you, especially like this...I've never felt closer to anyone in my entire life," Alison admitted quietly, running her fingers over Emily's cheek. "Me either," Emily returned the sentiment, but her thoughts travelled elsewhere as she broke eye contact with Ali.

"Hey...where'd you go just then?" Alison inquired with her brows scrunched in concern. "No where...I'm right here," Emily answered, glancing down at her hand on Alison's bare shoulder. "Yeah right. Remember when you told me you always know when I'm lying? I know when you're lying too. Tell me," Alison pushed. Emily sighed as she looked back to the blue eyes looking down at her, "It's really nothing Ali," Emily replied.

Alison huffed and sat up, sitting herself on Emily's abdomen and grabbing the brunette's wrists. She shoved them down on the bed beside Emily's head. "Tell me," she demanded again, "Or I won't let you leave." Emily rolled her eyes, "If I remember correctly, this is my bedroom," she joked. Alison glared at her, "Fine. Then I won't leave." Emily smirked, "That sounds pretty great to me," she teased back while running her eyes along Alison's naked body. "Emily..." Alison sighed out with exasperation.

"Ali, it's stupid," Emily said, seriousness returning back to her voice. "Nothing you have to say is stupid," Alison replied while moving her hands off of Emily's wrists and freeing them. Alison reached down and held Emily's hands on the brunette's stomach, waiting patiently. "I just worry..." Emily quite voice lingered off. "Worry about what?" Alison inquired. Emily sighed and finally made eye contact with her, "Worry that you'll never want more." Alison squinted down at her in question, "Want more of what Em?" Emily let go of their conjoined hands and ran her fingers through her hair, "Me...Us..." she breathed.

"Emily...what more could I want?" Alison inquired, "I have everything I could have ever dreamed of." Emily eyed her again, "Don't you want to go on dates...real dates? Don't you want to tell people so we won't have to hide?" Alison's eyes dropped down after Emily questioned her. "Emily, I want that. I do. I just need more time, okay? I'm happy with what we have right now. I'm not ready for people to know about us, but that doesn't change how I feel about you," Alison replied, grabbing Emily's hands again and holding them, "It doesn't change how much I love you," she finished.

Emily stayed silent and nodded in response. Alison pulled the brunette's hands up to her lips and kissed them gently. "You know that, right? You know how much I love you..." Alison mumbled against the brunette's fingers. Emily smiled softly, "Of course I know," she answered quietly. "Do you?" Alison asked again while dropping Emily's hands. Emily smiled bigger, "Yes," she breathed out.

"Do you really?" Alison asked again as she shifted forward so that she was hovering above the brunette. "Yes really," Emily answered back, her eyes dropping down to the blonde's boobs hanging in front of her face. Alison grinned while leaning down and placing pecks on Emily's lips, "Do you though?" Alison inquired again through her kisses.

Emily started giggling as her lover began placing kisses across her cheeks and pecks down her neck. "Hmmm maybe I don't know," Emily teased. Alison whipped her head up and curled her tongue in her mouth with a smirk, "Maybe I can show you then..." Alison replied flirtatiously. Emily's breath faltered as she felt the blonde snake a hand in between them, gliding over her abs and instantly dipping into her wet folds. She pushed out a breath and her next inhale was swallowed by heart shaped lips pressing firmly onto hers.

Emily moaned onto her lips and quickly became unable to kiss Alison back as the blonde's delicate fingers worked on her clit. When she pulled her lips away, Alison reached up with her other hand and held the back of Emily's neck so the brunette couldn't throw her head back. They held each other's eyes as Alison slipped her fingers inside of her. Emily let out a breathless moan and her mouth parted in pleasure. She could barely breath.

Every nerve ending was on fire. Sex with Alison was literally heaven on earth. Her looks she would give her. Her soft skin. Her tongue. Her fingers. The way she could please her. But it was more than pleasure. It was more than making each other feel good. It was more than ecstasy. It was soul-fulfilling. It was intimate. It was vulnerability. It was pure unadulterated love.

Alison was Emily's. Emily was Alison's. Two bodies and two souls, yet it felt like they were one entity. They were each other's, and despite the sex being new, it felt familiar. As thrilling and exhilarating as it was, it also felt comfortable. It felt as if they've done this before. It was like coming home. Like their souls new of each other in another life. As Emily's orgasm crashed into her, they shared a look. A silent knowing passed between them: I've never loved the way I love you, and I never will.

Tears pricked in Emily's eyes as waves of pleasure rolled over her. A swell of love bursted out from her chest...from her heart...from her soul. In truth, she was afraid of her future with Alison. She was actually terrified, but she knew of the love Alison had for her. She could physically feel it. What they were doing wasn't just sex.

Being with her was all Emily ever wanted. When they were apart, all Emily could think of was the next time she could see the blonde. That fact scared her too. She knew Alison wasn't just an addiction, but she felt like a drug addict going through withdrawals whenever Alison was away from her. The amount of love she had for the blonde scared the hell out of Emily.

Alison flexed and curled her fingers deeper inside of her. Emily felt a second round of shock waves roll over her body as she came for a second time. She pulled Alison to her lips and moaned into her mouth, trembling and shaking. "I love you with every part of me," Alison whispered onto her lips while Emily was still quaking beneath her, "I'll never leave you Emily. I promise." Alison slowed her movements as Emily came down from her high. She gently laid Emily's head onto the pillow beneath her and kissed along her cheeks, giving the brunette space to breath.

"I'm sorry," Emily breathed out with her chest beating rapidly. Alison gazed down at her while her fingers were still inside of the brunette. "Sorry for what?" Alison asked quietly. "For saying that stuff..." Emily mumbled, turning her head towards the blonde. Alison slowly pulled her fingers out of her and placed her hand on Emily's hip bone. "You shouldn't be sorry. Honestly I'm the one who should be apologizing," Alison admitted, looking downwards.

Emily furrowed her eyebrows, "Don't say that," she said, reaching a hand up to the blonde's jaw, "I understand that you're not ready right now. It's okay," Emily whispered. Alison met her eyes with tears brimming, "I'm scared too you know?" Emily swiped a stray tear that fell from Alison's eye, "Scared of what?" She asked. Alison adjusted herself and laid back on the bed beside Emily, resting her head on the brunette's chest. Emily reached down and intertwined their hands. "Scared of what people will think and say...scared of my parents," Alison revealed.

Emily let out a small sigh, "I know," she replied, "Trust me, I understand that fear." Alison nuzzled her head farther into Emily's chest, practically burying her head into the brunette's skin. "Can we just run away?" Alison grumbled. Emily let out a laugh, "Where would you want to go?" She asked softly, playing with their interlocked fingers. "Europe," she answered quietly, pressing her wet fingertips against the brunette's. "Where in Europe?" Emily inquired. "Barcelona...Greece...Rome...Paris," Alison listed off. She smiled against the blonde's forehead, "Paris sounds nice," Emily whispered. Alison tilted her head up until their lips were barely touching, "Let's go then someday," she whispered back before pressing a soft kiss onto Emily's.

Their kiss intensified quickly after Alison stuck her tongue into the brunette's mouth, but Emily pulled away laughing, "Ali...I need a break," she said. Alison pouted at her, "You know we never have time like this for sex," she mentioned, "I'm just trying to make the most of it." Emily shrugged her shoulders in agreement and used the blonde's position to her advantage by rolling on top of Alison. She started giggling underneath Emily, making the brunette smile. Alison stopped laughing after noticing the serious look Emily was giving her. "What's that look for?" She questioned. "Just you..." Emily answered, "You're stunning."

Alison smiled sweetly up at her, running a hand along Emily's arm that was pressed into the bed, "You can tell me sweet nothings all day long, but right now I want you," she said low and sultry. Emily's smile vanished from the last words the blonde spoke. Just as Emily began crawling down in between Alison's legs, the doorbell ringing from downstairs made them freeze.

"Crap!" Emily exclaimed while hopping off of the bed and immediately began searching for her clothes. "Who's here?" Alison asked through a hushed whispered, sitting up in the bed. Emily didn't respond while she starting hopping on one leg, trying to pull up her shorts. "I thought you said your mom was going to be gone for hours?" Alison questioned from her place in the bed, not sharing the same urgency the brunette was.

Emily threw Alison's bra at the blonde on her bed, smacking her in the face. "Geez, thanks Em," Alison grumbled sarcastically while moving to put on her bra, "Couldn't it just be the UPS guy?" Alison asked. Emily tugged on her sports bra, "It's Spencer. I told her she could come over and borrow a shirt for her date tonight," Emily finally answered while scrambling to find her tshirt, "I totally forgot she was coming over."

"Oh shit," Alison said, the seriousness of them getting caught finally catching up to her. The doorbell went off again from downstairs. Alison pulled on her tank top just as Emily spun around to face her. "What do we do?" Alison whispered urgently. "Um," Emily replied, pulling her hair into a bun, "You could hide under my bed?" She offered with a sheepish look. Alison glared at her, "I'm not hiding under your bed with the moth balls." Emily rushed over and started straightening her bed sheets when they heard Spencer yell from downstairs: "Emily it's me! I'm coming in!"

Emily grabbed Alison's arm and pulled her towards the closet, "Hide in here." Alison gave her a questioning look until they heard Spencer's footsteps ascend the stairs. "Okay, fine. You better make up with me for this," Alison whispered before Emily gently shoved her inside. The brunette closed the closet right when her bedroom door opened.

"Hey!" Spencer greeted while walking in. "Hey!" Emily said back while doing a double check of her room, worried that she left clothing behind. Emily's eyes followed Spencer as her friend walked over and sat on her bed, causing Emily to notice Alison's underwear peeking out from the front of her bed on the floor. "So, how was school?" Emily asked as casually as she could while she walked over and slid the panties farther under the bed with her foot. "It was good. I aced my AP lit exam," Spencer answered. "That's awesome!" Emily replied, still looking around her room. "Are you okay? You're sweaty.." Spencer mentioned.

Emily made eye contact with Spencer, "Oh yeah...I was working out. I had headphones in so that's why I didn't hear you ring the doorbell," Emily explained. Spencer nodded, "Thanks for letting me borrow your shirt. I'm nervous for tonight." Emily smiled, "Toby seems like a nice guy. You'll have a great time." Spencer sighed and laid down on her back on the bed. Emily tried her hardest not to smile, knowing that she and Alison were just on it naked. "You need to find a girlfriend so we can go on double dates. Going alone terrifies me," Spencer complained, "Seriously, Paige isn't that bad Em. Why not give her a second chance?"

Emily felt heat come to her cheeks. She knew Alison could hear everything they were saying. She walked over to the chair by her desk and sat down, "I don't know...we didn't really have a connection," Emily replied. "You don't know that. You only went on one date with her," Spencer argued back, "Plus, she's totally in love with you. I see her eyeing you in the locker room at P.E."

Emily grimaced, "She's not in love with me Spence." Spencer let out a laugh and moved onto her stomach on the bed, facing Emily. "She literally blushes anytime you walk in the room," Spencer said, not letting it go. "Can we talk about something else?" Emily asked a little too harshly. Spencer raised an eyebrow, "Please don't tell me you still have a big fat crush on Alison. Seriously Em, she's straight. You gotta give up on that." Emily's cheeks got redder. "See! You totally do!" Spencer exclaimed. "I don't have a crush on her," Emily half-lied. I'm in love with her.

"We'll I'm just saying, Paige is still an option," Spencer continues, "And she's actually gay." Emily glared at her friend, "Okayyy enough about me. You wanted that white shirt right?" Emily deflected, praying Spencer would drop the subject. "Em, all I'm saying is that you're drop dead gorgeous and a total catch. You can't be single for forever," Spencer added, still not letting go of the topic. Emily began walking over to her closet, "Do you really care that much about my love life, or do you just want someone to join you on dates?" Emily argued back jokingly. "Both," Spencer replied with a smile.

Emily carefully opened her closet door, making sure Spencer wouldn't be able to see Alison. Emily smiled lightly behind the door at the blonde who was already holding the white blouse out to her. Alison and her shared a short look before Emily closed the closet. "Here you go," Emily said while handing the shirt over to Spencer. "Thanks! Want to hang out? I still have an hour before I need to get ready," Spencer offered. "Oh um, actually I was planning on meeting up with Alison tonight. I'm sorry," Emily partially lied again. Spencer gave her a look, "Be careful spending too much time with her Emily."

Emily pursed her lips, "Spence, she's my friend. I promise there's nothing to worry about." Spencer sat up from the bed, "I know she's your friend, but don't let her break your heart," she advised. Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm fine." Spencer nodded, "Okay well I love you, I'll text you updates during my date." Emily pulled her into a hug, "Love you too. It'll go great, I promise. Just be yourself." Spencer smiled and closed the bedroom door behind her.

Emily sighed and sat down on the bed. She waited until she heard the front door downstairs close. "She's gone," Emily said. Alison opened the closet and took a few steps forward. "That was close," Alison joked with a laugh. "Yeah," Emily breathed out. "So," Alison said while walking over to the bed, "I thought you told Paige you weren't interested?"

Emily put her elbows on her knees, "I did," she answered. Alison sat beside her, "Then why is she still crushing on you?" She questioned, "Or in Spencer's words, why is she in love with you?" Emily put her hands on her face, bending down, "I don't know Ali, why don't you ask her yourself," she replied curtly. "What's with the attitude?" The blonde asked back.

Emily sighed, "I don't like lying to her Alison." Alison put her hand put on the brunette's lower back, "Emily you're not lying to her. You're just not telling her the whole truth." Emily's eyes snapped back to her, "That's still lying." She sat up off of the bed and walked over to her window seat to put space between her and the blonde.

Alison turned around on the bed to face her, "Are you really that upset about this?" She asked. Emily bit the inside of her lip, sighing through her nose, "She tells me everything Ali, and I can't even tell her about the person I'm in love with. How is that fair? Don't you feel guilty not telling Hanna about me?" Emily questioned.

"Of course I feel guilty about not telling her Emily, but I'm not ready yet," Alison replied. "How can we call them our best friends when we can't even tell them about us?" Emily questioned. "Emily we can tell them later when we are ready," Alison replied. "You mean when you're ready?" Emily snapped. Alison flinched slightly from her tone. "You can't get upset at me for not being ready to come out Emily. You knew that before we started this," Alison snapped back. Emily shook her head, "But for how long Alison? How long am I supposed to keep your secret?"

Alison raised her eyebrows in shock, "My secret? Really Em?" She asked rudely, "Nice," she added before getting off of the bed. "Ali wait," Emily said while standing up too. Alison whipped around with fury in her eyes, "Was everything you said in bed thirty minutes ago a lie? Saying you understand why I'm scared and why I'm not ready?" Alison asked loudly. Emily reached out for her hands, but the blonde took a step away from her. "It wasn't a lie Ali! I just wish I could tell Spencer," Emily answered.

Alison took a deep breath and turned her back away from Emily. "I don't want Spencer or anyone knowing. That's the whole point Emily," Alison replied, turning back around to face her, "You're pressuring me into something I'm not ready for." Emily reached out for Alison's hands again, but the blonde yanked hers away. "Ali...I know. I'm sorry," Emily apologized. "It's fine," Alison answered shortly while walking over and grabbing her purse off of Emily's dresser. "Is it?" Emily asked. Alison sighed, "I need to go work on some homework. I'll text you later." She watched the blonde reach for the bedroom door. "I love you," Emily said in a pleading voice. Alison turned around to face her for a moment before replying: "I love you too."

"God I feel like such an idiot," Spencer said after Emily finished telling her the memory. Emily of course left out the details of their intimate moments. "I'm sorry Em," she added. Emily smiled softly at her, "It's not your fault. How were you supposed to know that she was hiding in my closet?" She joked, "Plus we worked it out later that night anyways." Spencer smiled back, "I hope you know that if you did tell me, I would've kept it a secret."

Emily nodded, "I know, and I'm sorry for not telling you, but even if I did tell you I don't think that it would've made me feel much better." Spencer looked at her inquisitively, "Why wouldn't it?" She asked. "Because I would have felt awful asking you to keep it a secret, and I didn't want just one person to know. Don't get me wrong, I did want to tell you, but I wanted our relationship to be free for anyone to know," Emily explained.

"Em-" Spencer's response was cut off from Emily's phone ringing. Emily looked down at the caller ID and sighed. "It's her isn't it?" Spencer asked. "Yeah," Emily breathed out. She went to pick up it up, but Spencer leaped across the space between them and swiped up Emily's phone. "Don't," Spencer warned, "You shouldn't talk to her right now." Emily watched her phone ring in her friend's hand with a picture of Alison lit up on the screen. Spencer declined the call for her, sending Alison to voicemail.

Emily groaned and flopped onto her friend's bed, "Ugh," she grumbled with a arm around her face. Spencer sat beside her on the bed, "What are you going to do about work?" She asked. Emily moved her arm off of her face and looked at Spencer confusingly until the realization hit her. "Oh god," Emily mumbled out. "You should quit," Spencer suggested. "I need the money Spence," Emily said while staring up at the ceiling. "You can't keep working with her," Spencer continued. "I know that, but what am I supposed to do without a job?" Emily replied. "I heard The Brew is hiring," Spencer offered, "It would be a fun job."

"Everything is such a shit show," Emily complained again. Spencer mirrored Emily and laid down beside her on the bed. "Well apparently I made things worse...talking about Paige with Alison in the room," Spencer sighed. "Spencer, seriously, it wasn't your fault. Plus that was months ago, and Paige wasn't the only girl we argued about," Emily said. "Who else?" Spencer asked. "Samara," Emily answered.

"That girl from the pride group? I thought you two were friends?" Spencer continued questioning her. "We never really had the chance to become friends. Alison didn't like her," Emily replied. "But you went to the pride group anyways?" Spencer half stated and half questioned. "Yeah I did," Emily responded, "About four months ago." Spencer turned her head on the bed and faced Emily, "I bet Alison didn't like that then." Emily let out a sarcastic laugh, "No she didn't..."

Emily was sitting on her bed with her back pressed up against the headboard and a History book in hand. Alison was laying lower in the bed with her head rested on Emily's chest looking at a Cosmo. Alison would normally come straight to the Fields' home after school and the two of them would study together. Most days Alison flipped through magazines while Emily actually studied.

Alison had her leg intertwined between Emily's and started rubbing her foot against the brunette's. "You're distracting me," Emily whispered, glancing down at her. Alison grinned, yet kept her eyes trained on the magazine, "Am I?" She teased. Emily laughed and pressed a kiss against her hair, "I only have half of a chapter left to read." Alison slid her magazine over slightly above Emily's stomach, "Okay."

Emily directed her attention back to her book, but the blonde's fingers that held the magazine started grazing against her bare stomach from her shirt riding up. Emily glanced down at Alison before inhaling and trying to focus her eyes back to her studies. She knew exactly the game that Alison was playing. Like clock work, the blonde would stay quite while Emily studied, but after a certain amount of time passed Alison would slowly start teasing her. Most days Emily couldn't resist her, but today she really needed to focus and study.

Alison started sliding her pointer finger below Emily's running shorts waistband. "Ali..." Emily warned. "Hm?" Alison asked innocently. "You're doing that on purpose," Emily replied. "Doing what?" Alison asked, still keeping her eyes on the magazine. "You know what," she answered back. Emily watched the side profile of Alison's face and noticed a smirk form on her heart shaped lips. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Alison whispered back flirtatiously.

Emily rolled her eyes to herself and continued reading, but Alison stuck another finger under her shorts, rubbing her slowly and deliberately. Emily was about to scold her again, but her phone dinged beside her. She scooped it up and smiled looking at the message: "Hey Emily! It's Samara. We have a event tonight with the group starting at 6! Let me know if you'd like to come and I can send you the details! I would love to see you :)"

"Who is it?" Alison asked casually while turning a page in her Cosmo. "Samara," Emily replied. Alison immediately set her magazine down and shifted off of Emily's chest, laying down on her stomach and facing the brunette. "Why is she texting you?" Alison inquired as she tried to sneak a glance at Emily's phone. "She's asking me if I would like to join the campus pride group tonight for an event," Emily explained, still re-reading the text.

"You're not going to go are you?" Alison asked pointedly. Emily focused her attention back to the blonde, "Maybe. It could be fun," she replied. Alison grabbed her phone and read the message herself. She scoffed and handed the phone back to Emily. "The event she has in mind is getting in your pants," Alison said sarcastically. Emily glared at her, "Ali, it's not like that. She's nice." The blonde glared back at her, "She's nice because she likes you," Alison argued. "People can be nice to each other without it meaning anything more than friendship, you know that right?" Emily teased with a smile.

Alison simply rolled her eyes in response. "If you're bothered about her, then why don't you come with me?" Emily offered. "Or, why don't you stay here with me and we can cuddle and watch movies and do other fun things," Alison replied, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. Emily couldn't help but smile, "I want to go Ali. You should join me. You might really like it," Emily offered again. Alison raised her eyebrow dramatically, "You want me to come stand in a circle and sing kumbaya with strangers?"

Emily lightly smacked her on the side of her arm. "Nobody is standing in a circle and singing Ali. Just come with me one time, and if you hate I'll never ask you to go again," Emily said. "It's not my scene," Alison replied while nonchalantly picking at her nail polish. "How do you know if it's your scene or not if you have never even gone?" Emily countered, "I think you're just making excuses." Alison huffed and rolled onto her back, "I just don't want to go."

Emily moved onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow, "It really might be good for you and me to hang out with other people that are like us," she said, her tone more serious. Alison squinted her eyes at Emily, "What do you mean people like us?" She asked harshly. Emily sighed, "You know what I mean...other queer people." Alison broke eye contact with her, "I'm not like those types of people Emily."

Emily scowled lightly, "Why did you say it like that?" She asked, taking offense to the blonde's tone. Alison didn't answer and shook her head, clearly getting annoyed. "Do you think we're going to be riding around town waving rainbow flags?" Emily accused. Alison shrugged, still not responding. Emily got up and sat on the edge of the bed with her back facing Alison. "Are you embarrassed of me?" Emily asked quietly. Alison sat up in the bed, "Emily, no. Never," she answered firmly. Emily felt the blonde's hand touch the base of her back. She stood up from the bed, putting space between her and Alison and leaned against the dresser with her arms crossed.

"Well I'm gay Alison. Whether you like it or not, you're somewhere on that spectrum too," Emily countered. Alison broke eye contact again and continued playing with her fingernails, "All I know is that I love you. I don't need to attend a support group to know how I feel about you." Emily shook her head in frustration, "It's not a support group Ali. What is this really about?" Emily asked.

"I said I don't want to go Emily," Alison snapped back. Emily raised her eyebrows in shock and threw her hands up, "Fine. Don't go, but I am," she fumed while walking over to her closet. Emily started angrily flipping through her shirts that were hung up and swiped one off of a hanger. She pulled off her top and purposefully turned her back to Alison when she took off her sports bra. Emily put on a cute black lace bra and pulled a red blouse over her head.

"I don't want you to go either," Alison said, finally speaking up again. Emily whipped around, "Why?" She asked loudly. "I don't trust her," Alison replied. "Samara? Ali, there's nothing going on between me and her. Don't you trust me?" Emily asked exasperatedly. "Of course I trust you, but not her. She thinks you're single," Alison explained.

"I'm going to hang out with a bunch of people, not just her," Emily retorted with her hand on her hip. "Why is it so important that you have to go to this?" Alison continued arguing. Emily sighed, "Because it would be nice to hang out with other people who have gone through similar things in life Ali. Why is it such a big deal to you that I do go?" She challenged back. Alison shifted on the bed, "God Em, do I really need to spell it out?" The blonde asked, her voice full of irritation.

Emily shrugged her shoulders and nodded, "Yeah, you do." Alison tugged on her lip between her teeth, breathing out a heavy breath, "I'm jealous, okay?" She admitted. Emily posture eased. She sighed and walked over to the blonde who was sitting on the edge of her bed. Emily knelt down on the floor in front of Alison, kneeling between her legs. "Ali," Emily said softly, "You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of," she consoled, grabbing the blonde's hands.

Her blue eyes met the brown ones staring lovingly up at her. "That's not true Emily," Alison replied, annoyance still in her tone. "Why? How?" Emily asked. "Because she's blonde and beautiful and older and she's likes you and she's out and proud. I'm not that person," Alison answered, her words spewing out quickly. Emily tried not to smirk, "You are blonde...and beautiful...and the perfect age...and you love me," the brunette said back. "Em-" "-I don't care if you're not like Samara, Ali. I don't want her, I want you. I love you. You are my best friend. You are the person I'm in love with. There's no comparison," Emily said.

Alison fought a smile, still trying her hardest to stay upset. "But it is kinda hot seeing you jealous," Emily teased with a large smile. She earned the signature Alison DiLaurentis death glare and a hand ruffling through her brunette locks, thoroughly messing up her hair. Emily giggled and fixed her tussled hair, but when she looked back to the blonde, she noticed Alison's previous smile had disappeared.

They held eye contact for a moment. "I really want to go to this Ali," Emily broke the silence, seriousness coming back, "It's important to me." Emily moved her hands on the side of Alison's hips, still kneeling in between the blonde's legs. "I really want you to come too," Emily added. Alison stared down at her, "I already told you I'm not going," she replied more kindly. Emily broke their eye contact and sighed. She laid her head down on the bed in between Alison's parted legs, "You're stubbornness drives me crazy," Emily grumbled onto the duvet.

Alison strung her fingers through her hair, "You're persistence drives me crazy," the blonde shot back. Emily lifted her head and lightly smirked at her, "There's absolutely no way I can convince you to come?" Emily asked, still attempting to sway the blonde's decision. A smirk crept on the blonde's lips, "There's absolutely no way I can convince you to stay in with me?" Alison asked back, still not backing down. Emily gave her a look and got up from her knees on the ground. Alison stood up as well and draped her arms around the brunette's shoulders.

She leaned up and pressed a kiss onto Emily's lips. "Stay," Alison whispered across her lips. "Come," Emily replied. Alison sighed and held eye contact with her, "Even if I wanted to, I can't risk being seen by somebody I know," she explained. Emily parted her mouth in astonishment. She pulled out of the blonde's arms and walked over to the window, shaking her head in frustration. "Really Ali? Are you that ashamed of who you are?...of me?...of us?" Emily asked, fury quickly coming back.

"I'm not ashamed!" Alison shrieked. "It sure sounds like it," Emily seethed, trying her best to keep her voice down. "I'm not having this argument again Emily," Alison warned, "I can't keep explaining to you that I'm not there yet." Emily's jaw tightened, "I know that, but I'm not asking you to come out. Ali, being around those people could help you in ways that I can't. You could ask them questions and you could talk to them about everything," Emily suggested.

"I'm not going Emily! And you're not either!" Alison shouted loudly. Emily froze in response. They both stared at each other intensely, neither one saying a word. Emily scoffed, letting out a short breath, "I can go if I want to. I don't need your permission," she spat out. "I said I don't want you hanging out with her," Alison seethed. "I said that you have nothing to worry about," Emily retorted.

They ended up back in a stare down. Alison had her hands on her hips. Emily had her arms crossed across her body. "I don't want to make you upset Ali, but you can't tell me not to go. That's not fair," Emily said, calming herself down, "I understand you don't like her, but going to the pride group isn't about Samara. This is about me," she added. Alison rolled her eyes. "Don't do that," Emily sighed. "Do what?" Alison asked sassily. "Roll your eyes at me," Emily replied, "I'm trying to talk to you about this."

Alison huffed, "There's nothing else to talk about. You clearly have your mind made up." Emily pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, "I don't want you to be mad. I won't be able to enjoy my time if I know you're pissed at me," she said exasperatedly. "I'm sure Samara will make sure you have a great time," Alison snapped and walked over to grab her magazine off of the bed. Emily shook her head, yet said nothing.

She watched Alison shove the magazine and her phone into her purse. "So that's it?" Emily asked. Alison swung her purse angrily over her shoulder and made eye contact with her again, "I don't know Emily. You tell me," she replied sarcastically. Emily sighed, "Ali, do you really not trust me?" She asked, her voice cracking. Tears started building in Emily's eyes from anger and frustration from arguing. Alison pursed her lips, "I already said that I trust you. I just wish you would respect me," the blonde answered more calmly after seeing the brunette's tears.

Emily leaned up against her desk as they stared each other down from across the room. "Ali, I respect you, but I don't appreciate you telling me what I can and can't do," she replied. Alison flung her purse back onto the bed, "Frankly Emily, I shouldn't have to!"

Emily squinted her eyes in disbelief, "What the hell does that mean?" She asked furiously. "I shouldn't have to tell you that it's not okay for you to hang out with a chick who has a major crush on you!" Alison screamed. "Why are you so convinced Samara has this big crush on me Ali? I had a five minute conversation with her at a party a few months ago," Emily challenged.

"Do you even know how beautiful you are Emily? Because if I looked like you, you wouldn't want anyone near me! You're literally the most gorgeous woman that has ever walked this earth! So don't blame me when I'm suspicious of a cute, blonde gay girl wanting to be your friend!" Alison shouted and air quoted the word friend.

"And out of all people you chose me! Me! Take a poll at Rosewood High Emily and you'll find out pretty damn quick how awful I really am!" Alison kept ranting and pacing, unaware of the smile gracing Emily's face.

"Every single morning I wake up and I splash water on my face expecting myself to wake up from a dream! You have literally no idea how amazing you are! You can't get mad at me for being a little over protective of you becau-" Alison stopped mid sentence after finally seeing the brunette grinning at her.

She threw her hands up and slapped them back by her sides, "Why are you smiling at me?" She asked with exasperation. Emily closed the distance between them and grabbed Alison's hand, pulling them both onto the bed. After Alison reluctantly sat down beside her, Emily cupped the blonde's cheeks and kissed her firmly on her lips. "I thought you were mad at me," Alison said after Emily pulled away.

"I thought you were mad at me," Emily retorted. Alison glared at her, "I'm not mad Emily. I'm just frustrated...and maybe a little insecure," she admitted, mumbling the last part of her sentence. Emily smiled and used a finger to drag along the blonde's jawline, "Ali, I think about you the same way. Do you not think that I've never been jealous of other people being around you? Because I have and I probably will be in the future, but we just have to learn to be okay with it. I'm not saying Samara likes me, but I'm sure other people will have crushes on us or even try to hit on us in the future. That's why we have to build trust. Jealousy is only natural. We can't just hide away in each other's rooms 24/7."

Alison smirked, "Hiding you away from everyone sounds perfect to me. That way I can have you all to myself," she replied while bopping the brunette on her nose. Emily let out a laugh and rolled her eyes, "Sounds kind of kidnappy to me," she teased. Alison pushed her elbow into Emily's side, "Ha ha."

Emily giggled and draped her arm around the blonde's shoulder, pulling Alison into her body. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch," Alison said, "You should go tonight." Emily pulled out of their embrace slightly and looked her in the eyes questioningly, "Are you sure? You're not going to hate me if I go?" Emily asked hesitantly. Alison rolled her eyes playfully, "I could never hate you. I don't like the idea of you being around her, but I understand it's important to you."

Emily smiled, "Thank you," she replied. Alison reached a hand up and tucked a stray piece of Emily's hair behind her ear. "But, if that bitch tries anything with you, you better tell me. I'll kill her," Alison said fiercely. Emily giggled, "Oh I'm sure you would."

"Did you really think she would ever come out?" Spencer questioned after Emily finished recounting the argument her and Alison had four months ago. Emily's eyes glanced over to Spencer who sat up in her bed, "Yeah, I did," Emily breathed out, "For a long time I truly was okay with waiting for her to come out. For the most part, I was happy to wait because I love her so much, but eventually I realized she never was going to be ready."

Spencer stuck her hand out on Emily's arm in an attempt to comfort her. "It sounded like you knew that deep down though," Spencer implied. Emily turned her eyes back to her friend's bedroom ceiling, "Maybe. I think I tried to convince myself that one day she would chose me over her fears. Being delusional about a fake future allowed me to tell myself that it was okay...that we would be okay...that somehow we would be out and proudly in love together," Emily said. "Emily none of that was okay," Spencer replied firmly. Emily sighed, "I love her Spence. I love her with my entire being, but it started to destroy me," she admitting, tears starting to fill in her eyes again.

"No relationship is worth sacrificing your mental health Em," Spencer consoled, "She seems very toxic." Emily sighed, "In all honesty Spence, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she's not toxic." Spencer gave her a questioning look of disbelief, "You sure about that?" She asked incredulously. "She isn't," Emily replied firmly, "Our relationship wasn't toxic either, but after a few months it started to turn into something unhealthy. It wasn't either of our faults."

"Emily it seems like she was the one causing all of the issues in your relationship," Spencer challenged. "No she wasn't Spencer. We truly had something amazing, and we still could...but not right now. Not like this," Emily said. Spencer nodded, trying her best to not talk badly about Alison. She laid back down with Emily on the bed, "So, it sounded like Alison was okay with you going to the pride group. That's good," Spencer said, redirecting their conversation.

"Yeah she was, but I stopped going after the first time," Emily replied. "Why?" Spencer asked. "Because she was right about Samara," Emily answered. Spencer turned on her side and faced her friend, "Wait...you're saying Alison was right about Samara having a crush on you?" She asked. Emily nodded, "Yeah, and I didn't go again because of the things Samara said to me."

Spencer propped her head up on her hand, "Well what did she say? That she likes you or what?" Emily nodded again, "Yes, and other stuff...and she was right about what she told me, but I didn't want to face everything," she replied. "You're being cryptic again," Spencer pointed out while Emily's stomach grumbled. "Have you ate anything?" Spencer questioned. Emily shook her head, "No I haven't since yesterday morning. The last two days have been a lot."

Spencer got up from the bed, "Okay well I'm going to go get you something to eat, and then you're telling me everything," she said. Emily smiled softly, "Thanks." She watched her friend exit the bedroom and immediately reached for her phone. She noticed there weren't any text messages, but she saw the notification of a missed call and a voicemail that Alison left her.

Emily knew she shouldn't try to call her back, but she was worried about the blonde. When she left Alison last night she was a mess. Emily was a wreck too, and in all honesty, the brunette was surprised that Alison even tried to call her. She figured she wouldn't hear from the blonde ever again.

Emily hesitated for a moment before pressing play and raising the phone to her ear, listening to the voicemail:

"Hey...it's me."

Emily inhaled a large breath and felt her heart beat speed up in reaction from hearing Alison's voice.

"I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't have called."

I didn't think you would.

"I don't know how to do this Emily...deal with this pain without you."

I don't now how to either.

Emily felt tears fill her eyes.

"Can we fix this, please? Can I fix this?"

It's too late. You can't fix this. We shouldn't try to fix this.

"I didn't mean to push you away yesterday. I was just angry."

I know.

Emily's lips quivered and tears started falling down her cheeks from listening to Alison cry through the phone.

"You're my person Emily. It hurts. I'm hurting."

I'm hurting too.

"Can you just come over? Please. We can talk about this."

No. I can't.

"Emily..." She choked back her sobs, "...I love you."

Emily put her face in her hands, holding the phone to her ear and letting the tears flow from her eyes.

I love you too. I always will.

"Y-You promised me. You promised me you'd never leave."

I know, but I had to.

"This can't be it for us Emily. It can't."

It has to be. At least for now.

"I know you need some time right now."

I do. Hearing your voice is already too much.

"But I miss you."

I miss you too.

"You're my best friend."

Emily covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hold herself back from sobbing in Spencer's room.

"I feel like I'm losing the other half of me. I don't know who I am without you Emily."

I'm so sorry Ali.

"Can we plea-"

Emily slowly lowered the phone into her lap, fighting off every instinct to hit dial and call Alison back, but she knew better. I ended it. It'll be too confusing if we talk. I have to stay away from her. It's for the best.

She wiped her tears just as Spencer walked into the bedroom with a muffin and a bowl of fruit. "Sorry I don't have anything else. My parents are an ingredient and eat out type of family," Spencer said while handing the food to Emily. "An ingredient family?" Emily asked while gratefully taking the breakfast. "Yeah, like they only have stuff to make food. There's never any snacks. You wonder why I always want stay the night at your house. Your mom has the best snacks," Spencer replied with a smile.

"Oh so you only come over for the snacks, not me huh?" Emily teased while popping a strawberry into her mouth. Strawberries remind me of Alison's shampoo. Spencer must've noticed Emily's smile fade because she gave her a sympathetic smile. "Do you want to keep talking? If it's too much we can just hang out and watch tv all day," she offered.

Emily took a bite of her muffin, "No it's okay. I want to tell you everything. I need too," she answered. Spencer sat down beside her on the bed and stole one of Emily's blueberries, "So, you were going to tell me about Samara," she reminded. Emily adjusted herself up against Spencer's headboard and started telling her friend about the first time she went to the pride group:

Emily was standing off away from the group by the snacks table, pouring herself some water into a small plastic cup. She was too deep in thought about the argument she had with Alison earlier that day. Despite the blonde apologizing to her, Emily still felt off. The lingering question of whether Alison would ever come out kept pestering her.

"Hey!" A voice said from behind her, startling Emily. She whipped around to see the very blonde Alison and her were arguing about a few short hours ago. "Samara, hi!" Emily greeted. Samara reached out and put her hand on Emily's bicep, lingering a little too long. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she said. Emily shifted slightly so that the blonde's hand would leave its previous place on her arm. "You're fine," Emily replied, smiling kindly.

"You're bored huh?" Samara asked with a fake grimace and a smile. "No, not at all! I'm having fun," Emily answered while taking a sip of her water. "You're a terrible liar," Samara noted, leaning up against the table. Emily followed suit, "I really am enjoying it, I just have a lot on my mind." Samara looked at her inquisitively, "Care to share?"

"I just have a big English test tomorrow," Emily lied. Samara grinned, "There you go again with the lies," she teased. Emily nervously smiled back and took another sip. "Well in light of honestly, can I share?" Samara asked, breaking the silence. Emily turned to face her instead of people watching, "Sure."

"This fundraiser is boring," Samara said candidly. Emily laughed but before she could respond, Samara kept talking: "The real reason I invited you was because I wanted to see you again." Emily felt herself blush, "Really?" She replied awkwardly. Please don't say it. "I wanted to ask you in person if you'd like to go on a date with me?" Samara asked boldly.

"Oh um...Samara I appreciate the offer, but I can't," Emily answered. "Can I ask why?" She asked. "It's complicated," Emily sighed. "Complicated like you're not looking for a relationship, or complicated like there's another person?" Samara inquired. "Another person," Emily replied truthfully.

"Alison?" Samara asked after a beat. Emily parted her mouth slightly, unsure of what to say. She didn't want to out Alison, but she also didn't want to lie. "How did you know?" She asked in reply. Samara smiled, "She looked like she was ready to kill me for talking to you at that party. I had a sneaking suspicion, but I wasn't sure." Emily couldn't help but smile. She loved Alison's fierceness. When that fire was directed at her however, she didn't quite love it.

"How long have you two been together?" Samara asked while walking over to a set of empty chairs. Emily followed behind her and sat down, "We're not...officially together," she answered. Samara raised her eyebrows, but stayed silent to let Emily explain.

"She's not completely out," Emily said. "Well you're either out or you're not. There's no in between," Samara replied. Emily pursed her lips and nodded, "She's not out. That's why this sucks. It feels like it's a step back for me." Samara smiled kindly, "I get it. I was with a closeted girl when I first moved here. Nothing but drama. I started to realize if it was meant to be it shouldn't be this hard," she consoled.

Emily nodded sadly in agreement, "It's not always hard. Things with Alison are great, but when it's not...it's bad. Our arguments always stem from the fact that she's not out. Whenever I bring it up she gets really defensive. It's not like I want to push her into something she's not ready for, but we can't hide our relationship for forever. She seems perfectly fine with keeping me hidden..." "-But you're not fine," Samara finished Emily's sentence.

"Yeah," Emily replied, "Sometimes I have the fear that she's going to resent me...whether she comes out or stays in the closet. I love her so much and I don't want to lose her, but I'm scared she's going to decide our relationship is too much for her and leave me someday," she shared.

"Can I ask you something?" Samara questioned. Emily nodded. "Do you feel unappreciated in your relationship with her?" She asked. Emily glanced off towards the crowd and thought about the question. "Yes and no. She makes me feel so special and loved, but yeah I guess I do in a way. I feel like the opinion of others is more important to her than how I feel," Emily answered.

"Have you told her how you feel...about her keeping you a secret?" Samara asked. "Yes...I mean no...I don't know. She knows that I wish she was willing to tell people, but I guess I haven't ever told her specifically how it makes me feel," Emily replied.

Samara shifted her arm on the top of the chair, "And how does it make you feel?" Emily cracked a small smile, "I know you didn't sign up to be my therapist tonight." Samara laughed in response, "Beats trying to raise money for the club. Plus I can tell how much this is weighing on you. So tell me...how does it make you feel?" She asked again.

Emily took a deep breath, "Ashamed. That's why I said it feels like a step back for me...it's as if I jumped right back into the closet. I worked up a lot of courage to come out and I went through so much with my parents. Now it almost feels as if I went through that for nothing. I know that sounds stupid," Emily breathed out. "That's not stupid Emily. It's understandable," Samara comforted.

"My mom and dad would definitely not love to hear that I am with a girl, but a large part of me just wants to tell them. Alison is my whole world and I want the people I love to know that. She shows me so much love, but I feel like it's tainted in a way...because at the end of the day I truly don't know just how important I really am to her if she isn't willing to tell people," Emily ranted, "But then I feel guilty all over again because I'm questioning her love for me. Of all people I know how hard it is to come out. God...I'm sorry for sharing so much. Thank you for listening to me."

"Of course Emily. The thing is, it doesn't matter if Alison decides to come out or not. You've already been hurt because she's kept you a secret. Plus, you can't control what she decides. What the real question I wanted to ask you is...what do you think you deserve?" Samara asked. Emily furrowed her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"What do you feel you deserve from a relationship...from your partner?" Samara explained. Emily let out another laugh, "Maybe you should change your major to psychology," she joked. Samara laughed with her, "Maybe," she said flirtatiously while her fingers grazed Emily's arm. Oh god. What am I doing? Alison was right. She has a crush on me. I just told her we needed to trust each other and now I'm sitting with Samara talking about her. She literally just asked me out on a date. Why am I still here?

Emily sat up from her chair abruptly, "I should go." Samara stood up too, "Are you okay?" She asked. Emily ran her fingers through her hair, "Yeah I just realized my mom wanted me home for dinner. Thanks for inviting me and talking with me. I'll see you," she said quickly while grabbing her bag. "Anytime," Samara replied, putting her hand out on Emily's forearm, "You have my number if you change your mind about hanging out...even if it's just a friend thing." Emily lightly smiled and nodded before walking away.

"I still feel so guilty about that," Emily said after she was done telling Spencer. "Why do you feel guilty?" She asked. Emily took a bite of her muffin, "I practically shared every little detail about my relationship with a girl I barely knew. Plus, I never told Alison that Samara asked me out on a date. God, I'm so awful."

"Em, that doesn't make you awful. You needed someone to talk to," Spencer replied while stealing another blueberry from Emily's bowl. "I'm assuming you answered that question then on your own?" Spencer observed. Emily looked over at her, "What question?"

"That question Samara asked you...about what you think you deserve," Spencer answered. "Yeah," she replied sadly, "Like I said earlier, I wasn't ready to face that question back then because I knew the answer to it...and it scared me," Emily replied. "The answer being that you deserve more than just being Alison's secret?" Spencer assumed.

Emily felt tears prick her eyes, "Yes," she replied, her lip quivering. Spencer put her hand out onto hers, "Emily, you do deserve more than that. I'm so sorry you had to work through that all by yourself. I can't imagine how isolating that must of felt." Emily's tears started running down her cheeks. She gripped Spencer's hand tightly and let out sobs. Being able to finally tell someone opened a flood gate of emotions.

Spencer slid closer to her and put her arm around Emily's shoulder, "You're not alone Em, and you sure as hell have nothing to feel guilty about or be ashamed of." Spencer held Emily for a few minutes until she got her breathing under control. "Thank you," Emily whispered. Spencer moved her arm, "It's good to let it out and cry. You've been carrying this around for a long time. I just wish I knew sooner so I could have been there for you," Spencer said.

Emily wiped her wet cheeks with her hands, "At least I didn't lie and tell you that I had a secret older girlfriend." Spencer looked at her inquisitively. "Ali told Hanna that she had an older boyfriend. Hanna saw hickeys on her neck one day, so Alison lied," Emily explained. Spencer raised her eyebrows and shook her head in disbelief, "And you were okay with that? God Em, I can't imagine how shitty that made you feel."

"I wasn't okay with it, but what was I supposed to do? She wasn't ready to tell Hanna about me," Emily replied. "How long did she keep that lie going?" Spencer asked. Emily set her bowl down on the nightstand, "The whole relationship." Spencer shook her head again, "That's so invalidating. And you never said anything to her about it?"

"I did a couple of times, but it didn't go well," Emily replied. "What happened?" Spencer inquired. "It was probably three months ago. I ran into Hanna and Ali after school. I was meeting up with a few of the swim girls to work out..."

Emily was making her way towards the girls locker room when a familiar voice yelled out to her. "Emily!" Hanna shouted. She turned around and smiled after seeing her two favorites blondes walking out of a classroom.

"Hey guys," she greeted while walking back towards Alison and Hanna. She smiled softly at Alison before quickly directing her attention back to Hanna, "What's up?" Emily asked. "Just got out of hell. I swear if I find out who created calculus I'll bring them back from the dead and kill them all over again," Hanna complained.

Alison smirked at Hanna, and Emily let out a laugh. "It's not too awful," Emily replied. Alison rolled her eyes playfully, "Yeah for you! Hanna and I aren't wired that way brainiac," she teased the brunette. Emily smiled back at her, "I had Spencer tutor me a while back. She's the brainiac. If you want, you two could come over after I'm done working out with the girls. We can study a little bit and then watch a movie or something," Emily offered.

Emily watched Alison's body language slightly change. "Would you really help me out Em?" Hanna asked. "Yeah of course!" Emily replied kindly. "Well looks like it'll just be me and you tonight then," Hanna said. Emily furrowed her eyebrows and looked back at Alison, "Why?" The brunette asked.

"Becauseeeee she has a mystery date with her mystery man," Hanna explained for Alison. Emily pursed her lips and nodded, "Oh," she replied quietly. "I thought your mom said that you and her had a church event tonight Em?" Alison asked, deflecting from the topic. Church event?

Emily looked at her confusingly and Alison gave her a look while raising her eyebrows. Oh. Ali and I had plans together tonight. The "mystery man date" is a date with me. She's lying about the "church" thing so that Hanna won't come over to my place. "Yeah that was cancelled," Emily replied shortly and looked back to Hanna, "Want to come over around 7 Han?" The brunette asked sweetly.

Emily felt Alison's blue eyes boring into her, but she avoided eye contact. "That would be awesome! I need someone to help this make sense," Hanna said while holding up her calculus book with a grimace. "Okay well I'll see you then. I should get to the pool," Emily mentioned before turning her eyes back to the very upset Alison.

"Have a good date tonight with the mystery boy," Emily said, attempting not to sound angry and sarcastic in front of Hanna. Alison gave her a 'what the fuck' look, but Emily simply turned around and started walking towards the locker room.

Spencer started laughing, "Oh my god Emily that was savage!" Emily smiled softly, "Yeah well I was mad. I was getting tired of hearing about the 'secret boyfriend'." Spencer finally stopping laughing, "So what happened?" She asked. Emily sighed, "She was waiting in my bedroom after I got back from the school..."

"Jesus Christ Ali!" Emily yelled after jumping in surprise from finding the blonde in her bedroom, "What are you doing here?" She asked. "You didn't answer my texts," Alison confronted, avoiding Emily's question entirely. Emily sighed as she set her gym bag on the floor and shut her bedroom door.

"I was busy working out with the girls," Emily answered dismissively. Alison had her arms crossed over her body, "Are you mad at me? Is that why you made that comment about my secret boyfriend?" Alison asked. "You don't have a secret boyfriend Ali!" Emily shouted back. "Well obviously Emily! It's my cover for when Hanna wants to know what I'm doing. You know that!" Alison argued.

"You can lie to Hanna all you want, but don't put me in the middle. I'm not okay with lying to her, and I'm definitely not okay with you doing the lying for me," Emily snapped. "I lied for you so that you and I could spend the night together. Why did you have to go behind my back like that?" Alison asked angrily.

"Behind your back? Ali, you went behind my back when you came up with that lie about a church event!" Emily screeched, slowly losing her patience. "Well sorry for trying to get you out of tutoring to spend time with me. My bad," Alison replied rudely with sarcasm. Emily huffed and shook her head as Alison got up from her bed.

"I should go before Hanna gets here," Alison breathed out, clearly frustrated. "Yeah I guess you should," Emily snapped back. Alison raised her eyebrows in shock and strutted past Emily out of the brunette's bedroom.

"Damn..." Spencer muttered. "Yeah," Emily replied. "Did she ever apologize for that?" She inquired. "No not really. We honestly just moved past it," Emily answered. "You two didn't talk about it?" Spencer asked incredulously. "Yeah well Ali was good at getting my mind off of things," Emily hinted.

Spencer raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" Emily smirked softly in response and Spencer finally got the hint, "Oh," she chuckled, "Well at least your sex life was good," Spencer added. Emily laughed a little, "It was. There were moments though when I would have rather talked. Sex doesn't always make things better." Spencer cocked her head, "What do you mean?" She asked.

"I feel like Ali started to use sex as a way to avoid our problems. Maybe she felt me slipping away and that was her solution of trying to keep me close. I think it helped her pretend like everything was okay between us...I don't really know," Emily admitted. Spencer narrowed her eyes, "I have a feeling there's more to the story," she speculated.

Emily sighed, "There were multiple times when that thought crossed my mind, but one time in particular I knew she was blatantly using sex to keep us from arguing. Around two months ago, the lie she was telling Hanna about the secret boyfriend got brought up again. I think Hanna was starting to get upset that Ali wasn't sharing more details about him," Emily said. "You mean fake details about a fake guy," Spencer said snidely. "Yeah," Emily replied, "Anyways we were all hanging out at my house..."

"And he even brought me flowers with a cute little note!" Hanna gushed, telling Emily and Alison about Caleb. The three of them were all sitting on Emily's bed gossiping together. "He's so sweet," Emily commented. "He's not always sweet...if you know what I mean," Hanna suggested while wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ew! Gross Han. We don't need to hear that," Alison complained while she blew on Hanna's toes. She just finished painting a coat of red nail polish on her best friend's toe nails. "Don't act like you're a virgin Ali! You and that mystery man of yours get it on all the time. At least I tell you guys juicy details. You never tell us anything about him," Hanna confronted.

Alison rolled her eyes and used her pinky finger to swipe off some stray wet paint on Hanna's toe. "You don't need to know details about my sex life," Alison replied. Hanna groaned dramatically, "Can you at least tell me what he looks like?" Hanna pestered. "You're all done," Alison said while screwing the cap on the nail polish, ignoring Hanna's question.

"Fine. Ignore me, but someday I'll figure it out," Hanna grumbled. "Em, your turn," Alison said while motioning Hanna to switch spots with the brunette. "Aren't you curious who this guy is Emily?" Hanna questioned while crawling over the brunette onto the other side of the bed. Emily made eye contact with Alison, but the blonde quickly directed her attention to the brunette's toes.

"Yeah I guess," Emily answered quietly. "He must be something special because Ali never sticks with one guy for longer than a month," Hanna commented. Alison's eyes snapped up to Hanna, "Rude much?" Hanna put up her hands in defense, "I'm just saying! Can't you at least admit you're in love with him? And you can not pretend that you aren't because I've never seen you this happy before," the shorter-haired blonde argued.

Alison made eye contact with Emily again before looking back to Hanna, "I am in love," she admitted, "There. You happy?" She added. Hanna squealed excitedly, "I knew it!" She exclaimed. Emily smiled softly, but her smile faded when Hanna continued: "Are you guys official then? Has he told you that he loves you too?!" Alison gave Hanna a pointed glare, "I didn't sign up for a questionnaire Han. How many times do I have to tell you it's private?"

Hanna sighed, "But we are your best friends Ali. We can keep a secret," she said. Yeah Ali. Listen to Hanna. She wouldn't tell anyone. "I know Emily can keep a secret, but not you," Alison replied. Hanna glared at her, "Ali it's been months and you haven't even told me one single thing! It's not fair!" She complained. "What color do you want Em?" Alison asked, ignoring Hanna again. "Whatever," Emily replied with her voice still soft and quite. Alison dug around in her nail polish bag and picked out a light blue. "Aliiiii," Hanna grumbled, "Pleaseeee," she begged.

"Hanna, drop it," Alison warned while grabbing Emily's foot. "Okay okay, but there's really only one important question..." Hanna said. Emily's heartbeat sped up from feeling Alison's pointer finger drag across the bottom of her foot, hidden from Hanna's sight. "...If he's older then he can't go to prom. So who are you going to prom with?" Hanna finished.

"Prom is in two months Hanna," Alison replied as she started painting Emily's big toe. "Exactly! We need to make plans to go dress shopping! But seriously, if he can't come what are you going to do?" Hanna asked. "I'll just go stag," Alison answered nonchalantly. Hanna audibly gasped, "Stag?! Okay who are you and what did you do with Ali? Going stag to prom is social suicide!" She yelled dramatically.

Alison blew lightly on Emily's toes and reached for the brunette's other foot. "I'll just go with you and Caleb," Alison replied. "No offense Ali, but me and Caleb don't want a third wheel...Wait! Omg! You could bring Emily!" Hanna offered, "It would be so much fun Em," she added. Alison and Emily met each other's eyes after Hanna volunteered the brunette, but Emily couldn't read the expression on Alison's face. What are you thinking?

"I don't know...prom doesn't seem like my thing," Emily replied quietly. "Emily prom is a right of passage. You have to! Plus if you go Ali won't be alone. Problem solved!" Hanna said. "Only if Ali wants to," Emily answered hesitantly. Alison had her eyes fixated on the brunette's nails as she painted them, avoiding eye contact with Emily and Hanna.

"What do you think Ali?" Hanna asked. "Maybe," Alison answered dismissively, still painting the nail polish. Hanna accepted Alison's answer and started rambling about what dress she wanted to wear, but Emily wasn't listening.

Emily felt an overwhelming sadness wash over her. A sadness that had been lingering for quite a long time had started to become an ever present emotion. The sadness of her slow realization that Alison might not ever come out...that Alison might not ever tell anyone about her. Emily had been living with that pain for awhile now, but the new emotion she was beginning to feel scared her: anger.

"Emily I don't blame you for feeling angry. Anyone in your position who stayed somebodies secret for that long would start to feel anger," Spencer empathized. Emily stared off into her friend's room, looking at nothing in particular. "I didn't like feeling angry...Especially at her, but I started to," Emily admitted.

Spencer put her hand on Emily's thigh for a moment, unsure of how to comfort her friend. "So, what else happened?" Spencer asked. Emily sighed, "Hanna left to go see Caleb..."

Emily closed the bedroom door after Hanna left the room. She avoided eye contact with Alison who was sitting on her bed and walked over to the window seat. "Em?" Alison asked in question as to why the brunette didn't come sit by her. Emily crossed her arms over her body and stared at the tv playing the movie that the girls had put on.

Emily saw Alison stand up from the bed in her peripheral vision. "I know I've screwed up telling Hanna that lie, but I can't take it back now. It's too late," Alison explained. Emily refused to look the blonde in her eyes. "Em, will you look at me...please?" Alison asked from her place by the tv.

"Why wouldn't you have just told Hanna the truth? It's so much easier than lying," Emily replied, still looking at the tv and avoiding the blonde's gaze. Alison sighed and walked over to sit down beside the brunette on the window seat. Emily stiffened when Alison sat close to her. "I didn't tell Hanna about you back then because I was afraid," Alison said. You're still afraid.

Emily still had yet to look into the blonde's eyes. "Can you look at me? Please?" Alison begged after a moment of silence between them. Alison reached up to the side of Emily's face and gently tucked her brunette locks back, holding her hand there. Emily finally met Alison's eyes hesitantly. The anger Emily felt slowly dissipated after looking into the eyes of the woman she loved.

What she felt now was defeat. She had no want or will to argue with Alison anymore. She now knew it wouldn't change a single thing. Emily realized she could get on her knees and physically beg the blonde to come out, but even that wouldn't work. It wouldn't be fair to her either.

Alison started to lean in for a kiss, but Emily stood up abruptly. She turned back to look at the blonde looking up at her with confusion written on her face, "It's not going to fix this," Emily said shortly. A flash of sadness went across the blonde's face. Emily turned back around and walked over to her dresser. She went to take off her necklace, the one Alison gifted her months ago, and saw the blonde slowly approach her in the mirror's reflection.

Emily paused while she made eye contact with her through the mirror. Alison reached up and brushed the brunette's hair to the side so she could unclasp the necklace. Emily eyes fluttered closed for a moment from feeling the light touch of the blonde's fingers graze her neck. Alison delicately pulled it off of her neck and reached around to set in on the dresser.

They made eye contact again in the mirror. Alison moved her hand to the side of Emily's arm, "I miss you," she whispered. Emily knew she was talking about sex. It had been over a week since they were last intimate, and she missed it too, but right now her thoughts were swirling.

"In that moment, that was first time I truly wondered how much longer I could handle being with her...how much more I could take of the lies and secrecy," Emily admitted. Spencer nodded sympathetically, "So did you..." her voice trailed off. Emily smiled softly, "You can ask." Spencer smiled back lightly, "Did you have sex with her after that?" Emily sighed and finished telling Spencer the memory...

"I miss you too," Emily replied. Alison took a step closer so that her front was pressed fully against the brunette's back. They held each other's eyes as Alison slowly glided her hand up Emily's arm to the top of her shoulder. She slid the brunette's maroon jacket off of her shoulder, exposing the tan skin. Emily's breathing started speeding up against her will. Despite her anger and sadness, Alison's touch was her kryptonite.

She watched the blonde lean down and press soft, gentle kisses on her skin. She sharply inhaled in reaction. Alison smiled at her and moved her other hand up under Emily's shirt on the brunette's hip bone, still kissing her bare shoulder. Emily knew she shouldn't give in to the blonde, not when she was having those thoughts, but she couldn't help it. She was powerless.

Alison lightly bit down on her skin, causing Emily to reach out and grip the edge of the dresser. Her chest was rising up and down quickly and felt the familiar heat swirl low in her stomach. Alison's fingers crept over to the front of Emily's stomach, making her muscles flinch. Emily's eyes squeezed shut as the blonde's fingers started to dip underneath her waistband.

"Ali..." Emily murmured. "Hm?" Alison asked while beginning to kiss her way over to the base of the brunette's neck. Emily instinctively tilted her head back to allow the blonde more access. Come on Emily. Get a grip. Alison's hand started sliding down under her underwear, but before the blonde's fingers could slip into her, Emily reached down and grabbed Alison's hand.

Alison lifted her lips off of her skin and met her brown eyes through the reflection. "I-I don't know if I'm in the mood," Emily partially lied. Emily knew she was already extremely turned on and was sure that she was probably wet down there by now, but she felt off. Alison raised an eyebrow curiously at her, "You've never said that to me before," she noted, quizzically looking at her.

Emily's eyes dropped down from the mirror and looked at the dresser, "I'm just tired I guess," she lied fully this time. I'm tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of feeling second best. I'm tired of arguing with you about it. Alison slid both of her hands up to the top of her shoulders and started massaging the brunette's tight muscles.

Again, Emily closed her eyes and let the blonde's touch captivate her. "I love you," Alison murmured. Emily looked back at her through the mirror, "I love you too," she whispered. I'll always love you, but I don't like how this is starting to feel anymore. Alison's hands moved off of her neck and grasped the edge of the brunette's jacket, pulling it off of Emily's arms and dropping it onto the floor.

Alison slid both of her hands around the brunette's waist and rested her chin on Emily's shoulder, "What are you thinking about?" She asked through a whisper. You don't want to know what I'm thinking. Emily smiled forcefully, "Nothing," she lied. Why does it hurt to look at her? I've never felt this way before.

Alison squinted her eyes as if she was studying her...as if she knew Emily was lying. She knows. She knows I'm thinking about breaking- No. No I can't do that. I don't want to do that. Don't even think that Emily. Emily gulped when she looked back into the mirror. She wasn't quite sure, but she thought she saw tears filling Alison's eyes. Oh god. Of course she can read my mind. She's my best friend. My person.

Emily gazed back down at the wood on her dresser. She felt guilt flood over her entire being. The air thickened in the room, but not with desire and passion. Rather it felt charged with sadness. The only sound coming from the room was the shallow breaths of both girls. Neither one said a word to each other as Alison held the brunette from behind. I can't do this. This is too much.

Just as Emily began to move away from her place in between the blonde and the dresser, Alison gripped her hips and stopped her from moving, "Wait," she whispered. She sounds...desperate? "Don't," Alison breathed out. She sounds sad. "Please..." the blonde pleaded. She knows I'm pulling away. Emily closed her eyes. She couldn't bare to look into the eyes of the woman she loved.

Alison's lips started kissing on her neck again and her hands slowly moved lower on Emily's waist. She needs this right now. Maybe I need it too. Maybe it'll help. Emily reached her arm back and strung her fingers into the blonde's hair, silently giving her consent. Alison let of a heavy breath against her neck and moved her right hand up to Emily's chin, pulling the brunette to her lips.

Emily turned her head back and accepted the kiss. Normally, her stomach would fill with butterflies whenever she kissed the blonde, but this time it felt like there was a lead ball in her stomach. It felt nauseating. She felt dirty...guilty.What am I doing? I'm actively thinking about ending our relationship and I'm letting her touch me. This isn't right. "Can I?" Alison asked against her lips as her fingers rested above the brunette's vagina. Emily caved and nodded. Alison's fingers slid inside of her folds and Emily did the only thing she could think of.

She ripped her lips away from the blonde's and leaned her head back against Alison's shoulder. It felt good. It always felt good, but what made their sex amazing was the connection they shared. In that previous moment when Emily lied, something switched. Like always, it felt as if a silent knowing passed between them without any words: Things are changing.

Emily doubted that Alison truly knew her thoughts, but something in the air between them made Emily question if the blonde really did know. It was in the way she spoke to her...the way she touched her...it was desperate...needy...but not in a passionate, desire filled way...it was like Alison was trying to hold onto her. Physically hold onto her, yes...but it was more than that. There was a disconnect...an emotional disconnect.

Usually they would tease each other or whisper I love you's or even make jokes while having sex. It was silent. Alison pulled her fingers out of Emily and spun the brunette around so that she faced the blonde. Alison immediately slid her fingers back inside of her and pressed her body fully against her, keeping the brunette trapped.

Emily let out a breathy moan as the blonde started pumping her fingers inside of her. She felt herself beginning to come undone, but as she opened her eyes and looked into Alison's, she saw tears falling down the blonde's cheeks. She immediately grabbed Alison's wrist and stopped her own impending orgasm. "Ali..." Emily said with concern. She does know.

Alison shook her head, "Emily...not now," she whispered with despair. Emily parted her mouth to say something...anything, but what was she supposed to say? Emily was exhausted from having the same arguments and fights. She gulped. The air was intensely suffocating. She could barely breath. This hurts. I'm hurting. She's hurting.

Emily used her other hand to reach up and gently swipe some of the blonde's tears off of her cheek. She held her hand there, cupping Alison's face. Emily's lips trembled and tears started filling her own eyes, "Ali..I-" "-I know," Alison whispered, "Just be here with me right now, please." Emily nodded, "Okay," she whispered back. Seeing the look in Alison's eyes made her heart shatter, but there was a realization that truly made her heart break: She knows I can't do this anymore, but she still isn't going to do anything about it.

They stared at each other for a moment before Emily released her grip on the blonde's wrist. Alison's eyes flickered down to her fingers that we're still buried inside of the brunette. Emily watched the blonde look back up at her. Alison's eyes questioned her without any words needed. Emily nodded, letting her know that it was okay to continue.

Alison's fingers curled inside of her, causing a moan to come out of the brunette's mouth. Emily parted her mouth in pleasure and kept her eyes open. Alison mirrored the brunette and used her other hand to cup Emily's cheek. "I love you Emily. So much," Alison said firmly. I know you do, but I don't know if love is enough anymore. Emily hastily shoved her other hand down the blonde's pants and slid her fingers into Alison's heat, desperately needing to touch her too.

Alison breathed out a sharp breath as they simultaneously pumped their fingers inside of each other. Emily wasn't sure who leaned in first, but their lips connected. This time it wasn't forced or rough. It was gentle and loving. Even though both of them were experiencing pain, they both silently wanted to soak every minute up that they had together. Love was never an issue...it was every other single thing that started to become one.

Emily didn't fully know it then, but later on she realized why Alison pushed to be intimate that day. It was a goodbye. A goodbye to what they once shared. Everything changed that day...in more than one way. It was a goodbye to the ease and simplicity of what their relationship once was.

Their tongues tangled together as they gripped each other's faces. They exchanged oxygen like it was a life force...like somehow they could breath life back into their relationship that was ripping apart at the seams. They moaned into each other's mouths as their hips rocked back and forth. Their tears mixed and permeated their kiss with the taste of salt.

Alison pushed her body as close as she could into the brunette's. The dresser rattled as Emily's back pushed into it. They both stopped kissing one another as their hips shook and insides trembled. A floodgate opened as they came on each other's fingers, breathing heavily onto one another's mouths.

As they came down, neither girl removed their fingers. Their eyes were locked. Their chests were pounding. Their hearts were breaking. Both of them tenderly kissed each other with quivering lips. Just as their tongues met, they heard a loud gasp.

Alison leapt back from Emily.

Emily pulled her pants up.

Pam had her hand over her mouth.

"Mom," Emily stammered.

A deafening silence filled the room.

Everyone stood still.

"Alison, you need to leave," Pam demanded.

Emily eyes widened. Reality setting in.

Alison stumbled over to the bed to grab her purse.

The shock finally wore off of Emily.

"No," Emily said firmly, stepping forward.

"Emily," her mom warned.

Alison froze, unsure of what to do.

"No mom. Ali doesn't need to go," Emily defended.

"Emily you don't have a say," Pam seethed, her voice surprisingly low.

"I love her," Emily pleaded, her voice cracking.

"Emily...don't," Alison whispered.

"We're in love mom," Emily stated firmly, her eyes never breaking from her mothers.

"Is this true?" Pam asked, looking back and forth between the girls.

"Yes," Emily answered with resolute.

"No," Alison answered at the same time.

Emily's eyes flashed over to Alison, but the blonde didn't make eye contact.

"Mrs. Fields, please don't tell my mom," Alison begged.

What?

Emily's ears started ringing.

The room started to spin.

She walked over to her bed to sit down.

She couldn't look at the blonde.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Alison denied her love.

In the moment that mattered most, Alison was more concerned about her mother knowing.

"How long has this been going on?" Mrs. Fields questioned, ignoring Alison's request.

Emily blankly stared at her dresser.

Alison stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. Alison you need to go home. Now," Pam instructed.

Tears flowed down Emily's cheeks.

Her vision blurred.

She saw Alison start to exit the room in her peripheral vision.

She didn't look back at Emily.

Silence filled the air again.

After the front door slammed shut from downstairs, her mom sighed. "Emi-" "-Get out," Emily said firmly. "Excuse me?" Pam asked with shock. Emily gripped the edge of the bed with both hands. Every part of her was screaming from the inside. "Emily this isn't right," Pam said, ignoring her daughters request, "This is wrong."

All of the anger that had been pent up inside of the brunette bubbled over. "I said get out!" Emily screamed. Pam widened her eyes in disbelief. Emily had never yelled at her mother before. "Was this idea of yours all because of Alison? Is that why you think you're..." Pam insinuated.

Emily's eyes flashed with fury to her mom, "What?! No!" She yelled. "Have you two been...doing this right under my nose this whole time?" Pam asked with disgust laced in her voice. Emily refused to answer and looked at her mother defiantly. "That's it. You're grounded. Give me your phone," Pam demanded with her hand sticking out.

"No!" Emily responded. "You're done seeing Alison. Give me your phone right now Emily," Pam said, her voice raising. Emily jumped up from the bed and faced her mom, "You can't do that! I love her!" Pam shook her head, "You don't even know what love is Emily. You're too young."

Tears were running down Emily's face, "How can you say that to me?" She asked. Alison hurt her. Her mom hurt her. Everything hurt. "Emily I'm not going to ask again. Give me your phone," Pam said sternly. Emily's eyes flickered down to her cell phone on the bed. She meant it when she told Alison she was tired. She was tired of fighting everything. Why should she fight her mother when Alison couldn't even fight for her?

Emily reached down and handed the phone over to her mom, "There. You happy?" She snapped rudely. Pam sighed, "Emily you know I love you, but this isn't okay. Sneaking behind my back doing god knows what...I've let her stay the night Emily! She's over here almost every day! Is that what you two do when you're studying?!" Emily rolled her eyes and sat back down on her bed, looking straight ahead again. Pam sighed, giving up on talking to her daughter and swiftly left the room. Emily assumed her mother was in shock. Once her bedroom door closed, she curled into a ball on her bed and let the tears continue to fall.

"Emily...I had no idea. I'm so sorry," Spencer said quietly. Emily already had tears running down her face after telling Spencer. "So was that the straw that broke the camels back?" Spencer asked. Emily smiled through her tears, "You say the weirdest things. Hanna would've laughed at that." Spencer giggled, "You know what I mean though...is that how you ended it?"

Emily's smile fell from her face, "Surprisingly, no." Spencer raised her eyebrows, "You're telling me you didn't break up with Alison after that?" She asked. Emily shook her head, "Nope." Spencer sighed, "Emily she told Hanna a huge lie and implicated you in it. She never worked up the nerve to tell her best friend and made you keep your relationship a secret. Then, when you guys were caught by your mom she never stood up for you. She didn't even tell the truth when your mom literally saw you two having sex. Why did you stay with her?" She asked with pure shock.

"Because she promised me that she would tell Hanna," Emily answered. Spencer turned slightly in the bed, "She did?" Emily nodded, "It was a week after I was grounded..."

Emily had been locked in her room for a week straight since the incident. Her mother didn't force her to stay in her bedroom, but Emily was the one who chose to. She even refused to go downstairs and eat meals with her mom.

The isolation didn't help the chaos in her mind. She was at a war with her thoughts. Granted, she was at war with her feelings for a long time, and Emily felt like she was losing every single battle. She was tired of fighting.

The depression seemed to take over quickly, and Mrs. Fields was even beginning to worry about her. Emily would barely utter two words when her mom brought her food.

Her mind would constantly replay the moment when her mom caught her and Alison. She remembered the way the blonde avoided her eyes. She remembered the way her heart shattered when her mom asked if they were in love and Alison said no. She remembered how quickly Alison left without a fight.

In all honesty, she was happy that her mom took her phone away. It gave her time to think, and after a few days of being alone, Emily was resolute. She knew what she had to do. What happened was the last straw. She couldn't do it anymore.

Emily dreaded the conversation that was impending. Having her phone taken away gave her time to process exactly what she wanted to say. It also gave her a chance to process those emotions. She was heartbroken, but she knew that if she stayed any longer, more pain was inevitable.

On the seventh day after, Emily had fallen asleep next to the poetry book that Alison gifted her. It was opened, displaying the last poem she read:

'The highway moved past us in fleeting images of blurred lines and trees.

"Do you think about finding love?" she asked.

I glanced in the rearview mirror, the mountains behind us.

"Not often, why?"

She played with her hair, curling it between her fingers.

"Seems like something most people think of often."

"I don't," I said.

"Why?"

"Because love hurts."

She smiled, stretching her legs to the dashboard.

"Of course, it does," she replied.

"That's what makes it so good."'

Emily stirred from her slumber and opened her eyes. A figure was standing in front of the open window by her window seat. She sat up in surprise, "Alison?" She asked sleepily.

Alison approached her bed in the moonlight, "Emily...you have no idea how much I've missed you." Emily sat further up in her bed, "Missed me? I've been here the whole time. You're the one that left."

"Please don't be mad," Alison begged in a quite voice. A flash of anger went across Emily's face as she slowly woke up, "You chose this. You chose this for you. You chose this for us." Alison was on the brink of tears, "I know you're upset. I know I hurt you, but I want to explain."

"But you can't," Emily spat out angrily. Alison crawled onto the end of Emily's bed, "But I can. I have to. I owe that to you. You have no idea how hard this week has been for me." Emily's gave her a steely look, "You're right, I don't, and you have no idea what I've been through either."

"I've tried texting and calling you like a million times. I figured your mom took your phone. I risked being caught by my mom to come see you," Alison said, looking at Emily with pleading eyes. "You destroyed me? Okay? You didn't stand up for me Alison! You told my mom you didn't love me! You couldn't even look me in the eye, and then you left without saying a single word! I thought you'd never come back!" Emily yelled with fury in her eyes.

Alison glanced down to the bed before looking back at the brunette, "But I'm here. Aren't you glad that I'm here?" She asked, her voice cracking. Emily went silent and avoided eye contact with the blonde. She didn't know how to respond. It became more difficult and painful for Emily to look Alison in the eyes...even more so than the last time they were together.

Alison reached out for the poetry book that was laid out on the brunette's bed. Emily's eyes followed as the blonde picked up the book. "I remember the day I gave you this," Alison said quietly while looking down at the book, "I came to your swim meet and after...you and me...and the kissing rock." Alison gave her a sweet smile, "I thought I was just being a good friend...giving you that gift, but it was more than that. From the very first day you came into my life you captivated me."

Emily watched Alison set the book back down on the bed. "One of the first things that made me fall in love with you was the way you looked at me..." Alison continued, "...You don't look at me like that anymore," she finished sadly. Emily's eyes flickered downwards. "I've done a lot of things to hurt you. I know I haven't been fair to you Emily...asking you to keep this a secret...telling Hanna that lie...leaving you after...after your mom caught us."

Emily looked at her with a steely resolve, trying hard to stand her ground. "I miss the way you used to look at me. Part of me wonders if we'll ever get that back, but I guess even back then it was never simple," Alison admitted. "It never had to be this hard Ali," Emily whispered, finally breaking her silence. Alison pursed her lips as a tear escaped her eye, "I know," she whispered back.

"I don't blame you for how angry you are with me," Alison said. "I'm not an-" "-You are," Alison interrupted, "And that's okay. I get it. I'm angry at myself. I've done a lot of awful things, and I don't deserve your love." Emily furrowed her eyebrows, still unsure of what to say. "I bet you're wondering which ones real...the girl in front of you, or the one who gave you that," Alison said while glancing down at the book. Emily looked down at the precious item before looking back into Alison's eyes.

"So am I," Alison continued, "That's why I need you. You always saw the best version of me...the person I want to be," she said with a loving smile adorning her face. "I don't see that anymore," Emily admitted truthfully. Alison casted her eyes downward, unable to look the brunette in the eyes. The sat in awkward silence, and Emily debated if she should end everything. Right then. Right there.

She was about to open her mouth to say the words she rehearsed in her head all week long, but Alison spoke first: "I'm going to tell Hanna." Emily looked at her hesitantly with disbelief, "What?" Alison reached out to put her hand on Emily's, but the brunette yanked hers away. "When your mom caught us I panicked. I went right back to my defense mechanism and I lied, but I want to make it right Emily," Alison said.

"There is no making it right. You can't change what you did...what you said," Emily replied. "I know that, but let me try," Alison pleaded. "I can't handle anymore games or lies Ali. I can't," Emily whispered, tears beginning to fill her own eyes. Alison reached her hand out again, and this time Emily let the blonde touch her hand.

"I've been so terrified of what others would think. Even when your mom caught us I was scared out of my mind. I still am, but being without you this week...it made me realize that people knowing about us isn't my biggest fear...it's losing you Emily. I promise I'll tell Hanna. I can't lose you," Alison begged.

"It's not just Hanna who I want to tell Ali. You know that," Emily replied. Alison nodded her head, "I know, but I want to tell her first. Just give me some more time, please." Emily sighed, "Okay," she replied after a long moment of silence. "Okay?" Alison asked. "Yes," Emily said, confirming that she would wait. Alison smiled sadly at her and reached her hand up to Emily's face, pushing back some of the brunette's hair.

"I'm so sorry Emily," she whispered. Emily wasn't quite sure what to say. She didn't want to tell Ali that she had forgiven her, because she hadn't. She didn't want to tell Ali that it was okay, because it wasn't. The promise of her being willing to tell Hanna was enough. For now.

"You should go. I don't want my mom to catch you in here," Emily said while turning her head so that the blonde's hand would leave its place there. "How long are you grounded for?" Alison asked. Emily shook her head, "I don't know." Alison sighed, "Emily...can you...can you come with me?" She asked. Emily squinted her eyes, "Where?" She inquired. "When I go to tell Hanna...can you be there when I do?" She requested sheepishly. Emily put her hand out onto the blonde's, "Of course."

"Emily..." Spencer said in a disappointed tone. "I know, I know," Emily sighed. "So...?" Spencer asked. "So...?" Emily asked back with confusion. Spencer gave her a look, "So did you ever go with Alison to tell Hanna?"

"I was grounded for a few weeks so I wasn't able to see Ali for awhile. I didn't have my phone and I couldn't leave the house aside from work. Somehow Ali and I never got scheduled together at work either, and my mom would come pick me up after I got off," Emily replied. "Jeez she really had you Fort Knox style, huh?" Spencer commented. "Yeah she did, but she eventually came around..."

Emily was laying in her bed watching a movie on her laptop. It had been two weeks since she last saw Alison, and it was started to become unbearable. The blonde had given her a small glimmer of hope despite the events that had transpired between them.

Emily had worrisome thoughts that the blonde still might not come out, but Alison seemed truthful when she promised the brunette that she would tell Hanna. It had been hard being apart from Alison. Even before their mother caught them, the moments they shared before that felt off. She felt a huge disconnect between them...emotional and physical.

She knew they had a lot to work through together, but Emily finally felt hopeful for their future now. The brunette was physically sick before Alison snuck into her room two weeks ago...sick over the fact that she knew she had to end things with the blonde. Then, Ali promised her something that Emily never foresaw the blonde ever saying.

That nausea didn't seem to dissipate however. Emily chalked it up to nerves of not seeing the blonde in so long, but deep down she knew it was more than that. Even though she was hopeful, doubt seemed to hover over her like a ghost.

A quite knock at her bedroom door made her pause the movie. Her mother walked in, but Emily avoided looking at her. Surprisingly, her mom didn't say anything either. She simply walked over and set Emily's phone down on the bed beside the brunette.

Emily looked at the phone and met her mom's eyes, "Thank you," she whispered. "Alison has been texting and calling you a lot," Pam mentioned. Emily's eyes flashed with concern, and her mother seemed to know why. "I didn't look at anything," Mrs. Fields said. Emily nodded in relief.

She hoped her mom would leave, but instead she sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. "Emily, I'm sorry," she apologized. The brunette looked at her in surprise. "Listen, I don't understand why you...I don't understand everything, but I am going to try," her mother explained.

Emily moved herself further up the bed and rested her back against the headboard. She was stunned to say the least. "This doesn't mean that I'm okay with you and Alison doing...things behind closed doors, but I can see how much she means to you. So, if you'll be patient with me, I'd like to get to know this Emily better," she said kindly.

Emily smiled and put her hand out on top of her mother's, "Thank you mom." Pam squeezed her hand and stood up from the bed, "Being locked up in here isn't good for you. You're not grounded anymore, but you can't come and go as you please. I need to know where you're going and who you're with," she instructed. Emily nodded again in understanding.

Pam started to exit her bedroom, but before her mother crossed the threshold, she turned back around. "Emmy..." Pam said. Emily looked back to her mom. "You've been really sad lately, and I know it's not just because of me," her mom hinted. "You deserve all of the best things in life...especially in love. You have a beautiful heart...make sure you protect it," she said before leaving the room.

"That's amazing Em," Spencer said. "Yeah it is. I honestly didn't expect her to ever get to that point. It's still been a work in progress, but it's been good," Emily replied with a smile. "The comment she made...that was about Alison, huh?" Spencer assumed.

Emily sighed, "Moms know best I guess," she agreed. "When did you see Alison next?" Spencer asked. "She got a nasty cold two weeks ago. I was able to see her a few times though," Emily said.

There was a pause between them. "Can I make an assumption?" Spencer asked. Emily smiled, "Assume away," she said. "Alison didn't come out to Hanna. That's why you broke up with her," Spencer concluded. "After Ali got over her cold I met the two of them at school yesterday. I would always work out with the swim girls and then meet them when they were done with their classes for the day..."

"Emily!" Hanna yelled out excitedly when the brunette met the two blondes at the front of the school. Hanna ran up to her and gave Emily a big hug, "Oh my god I've missed you so much! Ali told me you were grounded," Hanna greeted.

Emily giggled from the blonde's excitement, "I've missed you too Han." Hanna linked her arm through the brunette's as they exited the high school. Ali fell in tow and walked beside them. Emily noticed how quite she was, but she knew the blonde was nervous. They planned on hanging out at Ali's house after school, and that was when Alison was going to tell Hanna about their relationship. That was the plan at least.

"Also, guess what?!" Hanna squealed as the three girls started walking into the parking lot. "What?" Emily asked back. "I got a C on my calculus test!!" She replied. "Oh my gosh Han that's awesome! I knew you could do it!" Emily congratulated. As Hanna and Emily chatted about the test, they failed to notice a boy holding up a sign by Alison's car.

Alison stopped dead in her tracks, causing the other two girls to see what she was looking at. Emily's heart dropped into her stomach and her arm left Hanna's. "Omg!" Hanna whispered and bumped her arm into Alison's. There was a boy holding flowers and a sign that read: "Alison, will you go to prom with me?" No.

Emily had seen that boy around the locker rooms before. She thought his name was Tyler, but she wasn't sure. She knew he was on the football team though. Time seemed to have slowed down. Alison looked over at Hanna and Emily. Say no. Please say no. Hanna nodded her head enthusiastically.

Emily's world went into slow motion as she watched the girl she loved turn away and say yes to a boy they all barely knew.

The football boys whooped and cheered as Tyler came up and gave the blonde a hug and handed her the flowers. Just like in the bedroom when her mom caught them, all sounds turned into white noise. She felt nauseous. She felt dizzy. All she could do was mumble something to Hanna about her mom needing her home before she bolted to her car.

Tears already started falling down her cheeks as she hopped into the driver's seat. Her hands shook as she put the keys into the ignition. As she sped off, she didn't know there was a pair of blue eyes searching for her.

"No she didn't," Spencer said furiously, "Emily, No. She. Didn't," she said again, emphasizing every word. Emily nodded as tears filled her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm pissed off for you right now," Spencer fumed, "What happened after that?" She asked.

Emily froze for a moment. The memory was still so fresh. After all, it was only just yesterday. "Em...we don't have to talk about it. If you're not ready that's okay," Spencer offered kindly. Emily smiled sadly at her, "It's okay. I want you to know. That's why I came here." Emily took a deep breath, "I went home first..."

Emily slammed the front door of her house loudly behind her. She didn't even bother to kick off her shoes, which was a policy in the home of Pam Fields. "Emily?" Pam asked as she peeked her head out from the kitchen. Emily's bag dropped to the floor when she shoved the door shut. She was hastily picking it up from the ground when her mother started walking towards her.

"Emily what's wrong?" Pam asked in concern. Tears were cascading down her face as she made eye contact with her mom. "Nothing," she croaked out and desperately tried to wipe her tears away. "Emily it's not nothing. What happened?" Pam asked, walking closer to her daughter.

Emily shook her head and her lips quivered, "I'm fine," she choked out while beginning her ascent up the stairs. "Emily you're not fine!" Her mother said while following her daughter. As Emily stomped up the stairs her grief turned into rage. "Emily!" Her mother shouted from behind her.

Emily whipped around, and based off of the pure look of shock and worry on her mother's face, the brunette was sure she looked like a mess. "I said I'm fine!" She screamed from the depths of her soul. Pam halted on the stairs, "Is this about Alison?" She asked. Emily scoffed angrily, "No," she answered while wiping more tears away.

"You've never been a good liar. What happened? Is Alison okay?" Pam questioned with genuine care and concern. Emily rolled her blood shot eyes and scoffed again, "She's perfectly fine mom," she spat out, "She's...fine," she said again, this time her voice cracked again and a sob escaped her mouth.

"She's fine," she cried out while covering her mouth with her hand. She dropped down to the floor on her knees and let the cries finally come. On her drive home, the tears were a steady stream, but something about being in the presence of her mother made a switch happen inside of her. "Oh Emmy," her mother mourned for her and pulled her daughter into a tight hug, sitting on the floor beside her.

"I love her mom," she sobbed into her mother's shirt. Pam rubbed her hand soothingly over the brunette's back, "I know," she replied. Emily cried for what seemed like an eternity, and her mother didn't push her for anymore answers. A strange calmness eventually settled over her. It wasn't a calmness of her emotions, but it was a calmness that came with a sure knowing...a knowing of what had to be done. I can't keep feeling like this. I can't keep letting her treat me this way. I don't deserve this. I can't stay in this limbo of lies and drama.

When Emily and Alison first started up together, the brunette loved the thrill. She had never met anyone quite like Alison...never met someone so confident...so adventurous...so exciting. The blonde gave her a perfect balance of comfort and adrenaline...calm and crazy...relaxing and exhilarating. Even keeping their relationship a secret was fun at first. It was sexy and thrilling, but only for a short while. Alison quickly had Emily wrapped around her finger whether the blonde meant to or not.

Now, however, Emily was getting sick of the roller coaster that had become their relationship. Granted, if she never met Alison, Emily was sure that she would have never become such a confident and brave person. The blonde taught Emily many things over the course of almost a whole year...she first taught her about real love. Although they learned about love from each other, Alison gave Emily something that was irreplaceable. Permanent. The blonde left a mark that would forever be imprinted on her. In many ways, they were positive impressions, but Emily knew there was a nasty scar forming...a scar on her heart, and that scar was signed by Alison DiLaurentis.

Emily had felt her phone buzz in her back pocket the whole time she had been held by her mother, and she knew it was Alison. It's time. Strangely enough, the tears stopped. The anger and rage stopped. The pain was there, but it settled deeply in her heart...in her soul. In that moment, Emily decided to bury her pain. I can deal with that later, but this has to be done. You have a conversation that needs to be had.

Emily sniffled and used the back of her hand to wipe off the last remnants of tears and snot on her face. Gross. "I need to go mom. I need to do something," Emily explained vaguely, and to her surprise her mother simply nodded and tucked her daughter's wet hair from her face. "Go," Pam said while using the pad of her thumb to clear off what Emily assumed as her running mascara under her eyes.

Emily sighed and picked herself off of the floor. She numbly began descending the stairs, and as she reached the bottom she turned around to face her mother. "Mom...thank you," she said through a scratchy voice, "Thank you for...for-" "-You don't need to thank me Emmy. I'm your mother. That's what I'm here for," she replied sweetly. Emily forced a small smile before turning around and exiting her house.

Emily chose to walk. It gave her time to think, or even not to think. She felt numb. A spring rainstorm rolled in as she was making the way to her destination. The clouds came in quick, making the scene grey and dark. A coolness settled over the town of Rosewood. It engulfed any form of light that had previously been in the sky. The wind picked up in intensity, shaking the trees. She rounded the first corner of the street when she felt the first drops of rain on her skin. It burned from the heat radiating off of her body.

The shocking feeling of water drizzling down her skin snapped her out of the numbness that encompassed her. She halted in her steps and let the rain wash over her. The sky was not clear, but it cleared her spiraling thoughts. The scene was not calm, but it calmed Emily. It was as if the water spoke to her, just as Alison and her would exchange wordless thoughts.

She stood near the stop sign and watched the rain run over her bare, tan arms. The storm quickly intensified, but Emily stayed glued to her spot on the sidewalk. The slow dribbles of rain turned into a downpour, drenching every part of her body.

Emily loved the water. It reminded her of peace and serenity...a way to drown her thoughts and worries. When she first thought of water, she would think of her dad. She remembered the pureness of childhood innocence. Her father taught her to swim as a young girl, before she knew of the harsh realities of the world. Her dad was her first love...a love that could never be tainted. Seeing her father go head first into the turbulence of war as she grew up quickly changed her innocent view of the world.

The water also reminded her of the lake, which first made her think of her dad...and secondly Alison.

As the water soaked through her hair and clothes, running down her face, she touched her lips and closed her eyes. She thought of the day Alison admitted her feelings for her in the pouring rain months and months ago. She remembered the way Alison screamed her truth to her, unadulterated. She remembered the kiss they shared. She remembered the happiness. My first true romantic love.

The sky erupted in a loud crack of thunder and lightning, but Emily didn't even flinch. Fitting, she thought. Alison was a storm...her storm. A beautiful, raging, powerful, tempestuous, raw storm. Emily had been swept up into the blonde's storm. She came into her life like a tornado and Emily willing spun around in her torrential spiral. All storms come to an end, she thought. Except there's no rainbow at the end of this one...just aching pain.

The dangers her dad faced ruined her childlike view of the world, but Alison was the one who changed her perspective of love. Love is a beautiful, painful storm. It's not always black and white and what's wrong and right. Love isn't simple like that. Love is a complicated, messy affair. How achingly beautiful it has been to have been loved by you Ali.She loved Alison with her whole heart, and that is why she took the first step off of the curb on the sidewalk towards the blonde's house...that's why she had to end it...because of love. There were of course other obvious reasons, but at the end of Emily's journey as she walked in the rain, she realized why.

Alison loved her fully. Emily loved her just as much in return. The sad reality hit Emily plain in the face as she began walking up the DiLaurentis' driveway. She may have hurt me, and I am going to hurt her, but I'm ending this out of love. This isn't healthy for us anymore. I release you with love, my beloved storm. I hope we see brighter, calmer days. Some time in the future I will meet you at the end of that storm under a beautiful rainbow. If we can find it...

Emily's hair and clothes were completely drenched through and through when she rang the doorbell. She tasted salt in her mouth. When she stood out in the storm she didn't even realize she had been crying. She heard the sounds of someone inside running down the stairs, and the door didn't even need to be open for Emily to know whose feet were approaching.

Another loud crack of lightning illuminated the sky just as Alison opened the front door. They stood silently looking at each other, standing on the precipice of what was about to happen. Alison's eyes roamed over the brunette's wet body. Emily saw the tear streaks on the blonde's face. They held each other's eyes in the most intense way. A storm had been brewing, raging more than the physical storm outside.

Alison opened the door wider without saying anything, and Emily walked inside the home. She chose not to turn around and face the blonde. Instead she headed directly up the stairs towards Alison's room. She heard the soft padding of the blonde's feet following behind her.

Emily entered the familiar bedroom with her back facing Alison. The sound of the bedroom door closing behind them triggered the downpour. "Emily let me explain," Alison pleaded. "I don't need an explanation," Emily replied calmly, turning around to face her. "I promise you there's nothing going on between me and him. I had no idea he was going to ask me," Alison tried to explain.

"That's not the point Alison," Emily sighed as she ran a hand through her wet hair. "I couldn't have said no! Everyone thinks I'm single," Alison said, her voice raising an octave. "Yes you could have said no!" Emily yelled back. "And what? Tell everyone, including Hanna, that I am with you in front of the whole school?!" Alison screeched.

Emily shook her head in disbelief. "Really Em? What was I supposed to do?" Alison asked exasperatedly. Emily pursed her lips and looked at the blonde with pain written in her eyes, "Maybe not say yes to going to prom with a guy you barely know in front of your girlfriend! Or no, sorry, whatever I am to you!" Emily shouted. Her voice echoed in the room as a bolt of lightning split across the late afternoon sky.

Alison flinched, "You are my girlfriend Emily!" Emily rolled her eyes, "Really? Am I? Unless I was unconscious I don't remember you ever asking me to be your girlfriend Alison," she spat out. "Well it's kind of understood," Alison replied. "Understood? Alison I don't understand anything! We've been doing this for almost a whole year and nothing has changed! I don't even know what this is half of the time!" Emily shouted. "Emily I love you and you love me. You know what this is," Alison said, her voice cracking.

Emily sighed. Alison was right, she did know what they shared, but all of the collected thoughts and words she had prepared seemed to have disappeared once she was in the blonde's presence. "It's not enough Ali," she whispered, changing her tone entirely. Alison raised an eyebrow, "What's not enough?" She asked. Emily turned away from her. It was all getting very real. "Love. Us loving each other. It's not enough," She replied, looking out the window as the rain ran down the windowpane.

"So I'm not enough for you? That's what you're saying?" Alison questioned painfully. Emily turned back around, "Don't put words in my mouth Alison. You are everything I have ever wanted, but I don't even have all of you." Alison took a few steps towards the brunette, "Emily you do have all of me. You always have. You have my whole heart!"

Emily shook her head, "Alison I have pieces of you. I only get little bits and pieces. It's always on your terms when I get you. We can only go out in public if Hanna is with us. We can only kiss each other behind closed doors. We can only have sex when none of our parents are home. Christ, my own mother caught us and you told her you didn't love me! I'm tired of feeling like you're ashamed of me," Emily breathed out.

"I could never be ashamed of you. I'm just not ready, but I'm getting there Emily. I still will tell tell Hanna. I will," Alison promised. "No...no Ali. You're not ready even though you say you are, and believe me, I see you. I hear you okay? But Ali, I don't want you to do something you're not ready for just for the sake of keeping me," Emily replied, "You're telling me that you will tell Hanna because you know that's what I want. It's not what you want Ali, and that's okay," she said through her tears, "When you promised me that you were going to tell Hanna, I was so happy and relieved at first, but then I realized that I was being selfish. I want you to want to tell people Ali. I don't want you to feel like you have to. If you told Hanna today, you would only resent me," she finished.

Alison's eyes flickered down to the floor, and Emily knew the blonde understood that what the brunette said was the truth. "I'm tired Ali," Emily cried, tears returning to her eyes, "I'm tired of being a secret. I'm proud of who I am, but the longer we have done this I'm starting to be ashamed of myself. I feel like I'm being shoved back into the closet." Alison let the tears fall down her own face, "Emily I've never done anything to make you feel ashamed of yourself. You mean the whole world to me."

"I can't possibly mean that much to you if after 7 whole months you can't even tell your best friend about me!" She shouted. Emily instantly saw the hurt on Alison's face after she said those words. "I'm sorry...I get that you're scared, but you don't understand how I feel Ali," she continued in a softer tone, "It took me years to finally come out to my parents. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I want to tell people about you. I want the people I love to know the person I'm in love with," she explained, uttering the same words she said to Samara months ago.

Alison bit her lip in attempt to keep herself from fully breaking down, "You're right. I'm not ready Emily," she croaked out. Emily smiled sadly at her, "I know that...I've always told you I don't want to pressure you into coming out. That's why I've kept this a secret for you, but I'm tired of lying," she said. "You're not lying Emily...you're just not telling them everything," Alison replied, "Your mom knows now," the blonde tried to justify.

"Ali do you get what I'm saying? Are you even listening to me? I can't do this anymore!" She wept out loudly. Alison squinted her eyes, the slow realization finally hitting her, "You can't do what anymore?" The blonde asked lowly. Emily stared at Alison for a moment. The two of them stood in the middle of the room with a storm electrifying the air. "It's too much Ali. Keeping this secret. It's not healthy for either of us. I'm done keeping secrets," she said firmly.

"So you're going to tell people about us?" Alison asked with worry. "No. You're not ready for that...that's what I've been saying. I would never out you for the sake of my own ego," Emily answered. Alison took hesitant steps towards the brunette, "I wish I was ready Emily. I'm sorry. I just need some more-" "-No Ali. I can't give more time. This hurts me, don't you get that? I can't just sit idly by waiting on you," Emily sniffled. There was a large pause before Emily said what had been needed to be said: "I'm done," she breathed out with heartache.

"Done with what?" Alison asked, even though Emily and her both knew what the brunette meant. A boom of thunder rattled the house's foundation. Emily let out a quite sob. No matter how many times she rehearsed it in her head...no matter how much peace she had found...the real moment was worse than she could have ever prepared herself for. Alison took another step towards her. Emily took a step back. "Emily?...done with what?" Alison begged. Emily took staggering breaths, "I'm sorry Ali," she whispered.

Alison shook her head, unwilling to believe it. "What do you mean you're sorry? You're not…you're not breaking up with me right now are you?" Her voice raising higher. Emily could barely look the blonde in the eye due to the tears that blurred her vision. Alison widened her eyes in shock, "Emily we can make this work. Okay? I'm sorry I asked you to keep this a secret. I get how this is hurting you…I've never meant to hurt you," she pleaded. "I know," Emily replied sadly.

"So I'm not enough for you to wait?" Alison provoked. "That's not fair of you to ask me," Emily warned. Alison bristled, beginning to put up a wall, "Not if it's the truth," Alison snapped back. Emily knew the blonde wasn't trying to be hurtful. "Alison it hurts me. Don't you get that? I'm proud of who I am, but doing this...it's changed that. I feel like I'm living a double life. It was fun at first but now it's not. Are we just supposed to have private little sleepovers and picnics for forever? You know thats not realistic," Emily explained herself again.

"I've never meant to hurt you Emily," Alison continued pleading. "I know Ali, but I don't want just part of you anymore. I want all of you. I want to be able to share our love. I don't want to second guess whether we are even in a real relationship," Emily said. "You have all of me Emily! Every part," Alison cried. "I don't and you know it," Emily replied back with her scratchy voice. Alison took a shaky breath, "I can't lose you Emily," she begged, the reality of the situation coming full force.

Emily took a step towards the blonde for the first time that evening. She grabbed Alison's hands tightly, "You're not going to lose me okay? Ever," she said firmly. Alison ripped her hands away and walked over to the other side of the room. She turned around quickly after putting space between them, "I already am! You already had your mind made up before you walked into this room!" She screamed. "Alison I love you...I'll always love you," Emily answered defeatedly.

"Don't do this to me Emily. Please," she begged with tears running over her cheeks. "I don't want to do this Ali!" Emily continued crying. Alison had a look of anger come over her, "Then don't," she instructed, but Emily knew she was asking, not telling. Emily unwillingly ripped her eyes away. The last thing the brunette had ever wanted was to be the cause of Alison's pain. "We can still be friends and-" "-Oh my god. You're really breaking up with me," Alison breathed out in astonishment, putting her hand over her mouth.

Emily stayed silent. She didn't know what to say. Her whole being was screaming at her to swoop the blonde up into a hug and never let go. "You told me you'd never leave Emily! You promised! You promised me!" Alison wailed. Another boom of thunder sounded through the sky, but somehow Alison's voice seemed louder than the storm outside. Alison let out a sob from the depth of her soul, and that was all it took for Emily to rush over to her side.

Emily put her hands on the blonde's arms, "Alison I love you-" "-Don't! Don't tell me you love me! If you loved me you would stay!" She screamed and lightly pushed Emily away. The brunette took a few careful steps away. "Alison this has nothing to do with how much I love you. I love you so much. Too much. That's the problem...I would wait for forever, but that's not fair to me. It's not fair to you," Emily explained.

"I can't lose you Emily," she begged. Emily was hesitant to walk back over to the blonde, but she did so anyways. She couldn't help it. Alison had always been a magnet to the brunette. "You won't lose me. Ever. Okay?" She said sincerely. Alison took a step away from her again, "I already am!" She sobbed. Emily stepped forward and put her hand on the blonde's forearm, "Alison I love you. I-" "-Don't! Don't touch me!" The blonde shouted. Alison gave her a look that shattered the brunette's heart. Alison looked at Emily like she never even knew her at all.

"I don't want it to end this way," Emily grieved, trying again to put her hand on Alison. "I said don't touch me!" Alison erupted as lightning illuminated the dark room. Emily staggered backwards, "Okay." "Just go!" Alison yelled as her voice cracked in pain. "Aliso-" "-I said go Emily!" She shrieked. "Alison please don't do this," the brunette begged through her own cries. Alison looked at her with fury, "Do what!? You're the one ending this Emily!"

Emily put her hand on her forehead, feeling helpless. "I don't want you upset with me," the brunette pleaded. Alison raised her eyebrows, "Are you serious? How dare you tell me I can't be upset with you?! You were the one person..." Alison's voiced choked, "The one person who wasn't supposed to leave!" "Ali-" "-Go. Just go," Alison said in defeat as she walked over the bedroom door, opening it for Emily to make her exit.

Emily gave the blonde one last desperate look. This is how I have to remember you, and this is how you have to remember me. This isn't fair. Every fiber of her being told Emily to stay, but she listened to the blonde's request. She knew there was nothing else that could be said. Emily physically couldn't look at Alison as she slowly exited the room.

The brunette was barely across the threshold when the sound of the door being slammed behind her made her jump. She put one foot ahead to walk, but the sound she heard made her freeze. Alison let out a bloodcurdling scream and sobbed. Emily instinctively turned around and put her hand on the doorknob, intending to go back inside, but she saw the shadow of the blonde sitting up against the door on the other side.

Emily gripped the doorknob until her knuckles turned white. Her eyes squeezed shut as she listened to the most painful sounds escape the mouth of the girl she loved. She put her hand over her mouth to silence her own cries. Emily took a deep breath and used all of the will she could muster to rip her hand away from the door and walk away. She couldn't bare to hear Alison cry any longer. Little did she know those sounds would haunt her for a long time.

Please forgive me.


How are we feeling?

This chapter was absolutely massive, but I wanted to keep it in one consecutive chapter.

This was the first chapter where I actually pulled scenes from the show. I obviously did my own little spin off of them though. The first one was the conversation with Samara, the second one was a scene from 5x05, and the last one was a scene from 4x15. Did anybody pick up on that?

Okay we have A LOT to recap. Probably too much so I'll keep it concise. Going back to part one, we saw the sweet memories from Alison's perspective. In this chapter, I really wanted to do a deep dive into their relationship problems and give a step by step of what pushed Emily over the edge.

So damn, Emily and Alison are a hot mess currently. Yikes. Can you blame Emily for ending it though?

Do you think Emily will stick to her guns and stay away from Alison? Or do you think Alison will try to win Emily back? Definitely a lot to process.

Once again, thanks for being patient with me over my month long hiatus. Much love,

~3mison