Chapter 22: Worlds Finest
Stormy nights were all too common in Gotham City. People just came to accept it as they went about their lives. One such person was the owner of a small antique shop, who was closing up for the night. Just as he prepared to close the door, someone pushed it open.
"Hang on their pal." a woman in a trench coat and hat told him.
"Sorry miss, we're closed." the owner informed.
"Just look at what I'm selling." She insisted. "You'll plotz!"
She pulled out a small jack in the box and started turning the handle. At the end of the song, a jesters head sprung out, spraying the owner with a pink gas. The owner stumbled back upon inhaling it, coughing and wheezing. All of a sudden, he broke out into a fit of laughter, seemingly uncontrollably as he stumbled back.
"Good work, Harley girl." A voice commended, pulling off the womans hat to reveal a jester's hat underneath.
The figure walked in, revealing himself to be a man in a purple suit with white skin, green hair, and blood red lips. This was none other than Gotham's most notorious criminal, the Joker.
"Now then, what would be a suitable exchange for our joke in the box." Joker mused as he looked around the store.
The Joker walked past the owner, shoving him aside as he looked at the items on display.
"Too small. Too old. Eugh, too hideous." Joker dismissed before locking eyes on a statue of a green dragon. "Hello. For some reason, this speaks to me. What do you think, Harl?"
"It's you, Puddin." Harley agreed, opening the container the jack in the box came in.
Joker then pulled at the statue, snapping it from his display case and dropping it into the box. Harley struggled to carry it as she and Joker exited the store.
"Awfully nice doing business with you." Joker commended the eerily silent store owner as they left. "What a pleasant fellow."
...
Not long after, the police arrived at the scene, including Bullock and Commissioner Gordon. The two cops took one look at the shop owner's face and looked sick.
"He's back." Gordon let out, his hands shaking slightly.
"Hey, Jim, if you're not up for this-" Bullock tried to offer.
"We have a job to do." Gordon replied. "I'll be fine."
Bullock nodded as he turned away from the scene. As he did, he came face to face with Batman and Robin.
"Yikes!" Bullock let out. "How many times have I told you not to do that?!"
"Fifty seven." Batman replied, walking past him. "Commissioner."
"Glad you could make it." Gordon told him.
"You honestly think we'd waste time when Joker's rearing his ugly mug?" Robin let out.
"What do we know?" Batman questioned.
"Inventory shows that the only thing stolen was a jade statue known as the Laughing Dragon." Gordon answered. "While the name fits his M.O, we're still confused as to why he didn't take anything else. He's been out of the game for awhile so his funds are all but depleted."
"Things are never as they seem with the Joker." Batman reminded, walking over to where the statue was."
"Believe me, I know." Gordon replied.
"... how is Barbara, anyway?" Batman asked.
"Better." Gordon replied.
As Robin examined the area, he saw a small shard of green rock on the stand.
"Got something." He declared, pulling out a pair of tweezers and picking up the rock. "Looks like Joker left behind a souvenir."
He slid it into a bag as Batman took a look at it. His eyes narrowed at the sight, noting a faint glow to the shard.
"I think we should take a closer look." Batman decided.
...
Back in the batcave, Batman looked over the shard from the shop as Robin did some digging on the statue itself.
"I think I got something." Robin called out. "Apparently the Laughing Dragon isn't much of an antique. It was only carved about thirty years ago.
"Then why keep it in a shop?" Batman questioned.
"Probably because everyone thinks it's cursed." Robin replied. "Everyone who's owned this thing has died prematurely.
"That lines up with my findings." Batman replied. "This so-called 'jade' is admitting low levels of radiation, the same levels found in Dr. Miller's reports on Kryptonite."
"So Joker has a Kryptonite statue?" Robin surmised. "Why?"
"I have a few ideas." Batman responded as Alfred walked in. "Alfred, isn't Bruce Wayne due for a trip to Metropolis?"
"Indeed, sir." Alfred confirmed. "Convenient timing, wouldn't you say?"
"I say the timing couldn't be better." Batman agreed.
…
The following morning on Air Force One, multiple reporters were sitting in the economy section, chatting among themselves. One such reporter was Lois Lane, who was working on some edits to her latest article. As she worked, her attention was diverted upon hearing the sounds of a struggle. Suddenly, two Secret Service agents were knocked to the ground before several armed men came out, much to the panic of the passengers.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the press," the lead terrorist spoke up. "If you all stay calm you may actually live to write about this."
He put two fingers against his ears, conversing with his fellow terrorists.
"Is the President secure?" He questioned.
"Affirmative." a female voice answered. "I've already informed him about our change in the flight plan."
The leader smirked, then noticed Lois attempting to dive for the plane's onboard phone. He quickly shot it, destroying the phone and startling Lois. He then proceeded to grab her by her hair, throwing her back into her seat. Before she had a chance to recover, he buckled her in, tightening the belt to the point that she grunted in pain.
"Seems I need to make an example of this hero." he sneered, aiming his gun right at her forehead as the other passengers began buckling themselves in. "a very tragic example, miss…"
"Lane." She answered, looking up with a smirk.
"Lane?" he repeated in a panic. "Lois Lane? The one Superman always saves?!"
"The one and only." She replied. "I suggest running, but I doubt it would do you any good."
Just then, the plane began turning on it's side, causing the leader to slam against the wall. He looked out and saw Superman on the wing of the plane. He then pushed hard on the wing, turning it upside down and causing the terrorists to hit the ceiling hard. The passengers all remained safely in their seats, leaving only the villains to get tossed around and crushed with flying luggage.
"Thanks for fastening my seatbelt." Lois snarked as the terrorist's own gun hit him in the head.
Superman then turned the plane right side up before moving towards one of the doors and tearing it open. Superman forced his way inside as stuff went flying out the door. Even the terrorists started flying towards the door as Superman punched them out.
…
Sometime later, the plane was on the ground and the terrorists were being arrested. Superman was talking to the president from inside his limo.
"Seems I owe you a debt of gratitude, Superman." the president commended.
"Happy I could help, Mr. President." Superman replied.
"Keep up the good work." the president told him as he rolled his window up and drove off.
As the press dispersed, Superman went over to check on Lois.
"I hope I didn't shake you and the others up too much." Superman told her.
"I hate to admit it, but I've grown used to bumpy airplane flights." She professed. "If it's not malfunctioning it's being hijacked."
"Well, you know I'm always there if you need me." Superman reassured.
"I know." Lois replied. "Still, I'd like it if our relationship extended to more than you catching me when I fall. Not that I'm not grateful, but-"
"I admit, I've been pretty busy lately." Superman conceded. "How about I make it up to you tonight. Dinner?"
"Sounds wonderful." she agreed. "Now, we better get to work, or Perry will have both our hides."
"Right." Superman agreed, picking Lois up and flying off.
…
Later at Lex's office, Luthor was reading the paper and cringing at every word.
"A grateful president extends his heartfelt thanks to Metropolis' favorite son, Superman." Lex read off, discarding the paper. "Favorite son, my ass."
Bitterly, he snatched his cellphone out of his pocket, dialing Mercy.
"Get the car ready." he ordered. "I'm going out."
"Right away, Lex." Mercy replied.
…
Down in the garage, Mercy made her way towards Lex's limousine, adjusting her driver's cap as she did. Just as she reached for the door, a figure approached her from behind. Mercy just had time to turn before she received a roundhouse kick to the head. She rebounded off the car hard before falling to the ground, the figure closing in on her.
…
A few minutes later, Lex arrived in the garage, making his way to his limo. He saw what appeared to be Mercy standing next to the limo, holding the door open.
"Take me to the R and D labs." Lex instructed as he climbed inside. "I want to see what the boys are working on."
"Swell, Mr. L." 'Mercy' said in a thick jersey accent before slamming the door shut.
"Mr. L?" Lex pondered. "Mercy?"
'Mercy' got into the driver's seat, removing her hat and replacing it with Harley's jester hat.
"Sorry, she had a little accident." She informed him. "Now just sit tight. Ole Harley's gonna take you on a trip!"
She hit the locks on the door, trapping Lex inside before slamming on the gas and peeling down the street. She drove like a maniac, rarely staying in the lines, weaving across multiple lanes, and making the tightest turns that almost hit several people.
"Alright, missy!" Lex called out, banging on the glass separating him and Harley. "I don't know what you're game is, but I promise you'll pay dearly for this! You're dead, do you hear me?! Dead!"
"Blah, blah, blah." Harley let out, feigning a yawn. "Like I haven't heard that on a daily basis."
As she rounded the final corner, she hit the brakes, sending Lex flying into the divider. He recovered, rubbing his face as the door next to him opened. Before he could move to get out, he froze, coming face to face with The Joker.
"Scoot over, baldy." Joker commanded. "You're in my seat."
"Joker." Lex growled.
"Hi ya, Lexi." Joker greeted. "Do I have a deal for you."
…
After a few minutes of Harley's insane driving, she pulled into an abandoned parking garage and slammed on the brakes, bringing the car to a halt as the three got out.
"Nice parking job, Harl." Joker commended. "I think we only caused six fender benders this time."
The remark elicited a sick laugh from the clown criminal as Lex pulled himself out, nursing an aching head.
"I trust Mercy is still alive." Lex let out. "Otherwise…"
"Oh don't worry." Joker assured him. "I know how hard it is to get good henchmen, believe me."
He popped the trunk, revealing a bound and gagged Mercy trapped inside, a large bruise on her head and her uniform missing, leaving her in her underwear. Lex leaned forward and removed the piece of duct tape keeping her mouth shut.
"When I get out of this, I am going to strangle that clown!" She snapped. "You hear me, Harl-!"
Harley took the opportunity to reclaim the tape and slap it back over Mercy's mouth. She then proceeded to grab her costume out of the trunk before slamming it shut again.
"Quite the mouth on that one, Lex." Joker jeered.
"I'm gonna go get changed, puddin." She declared. "Have fun!"
She skipped off at that, leaving the two men alone. Lex crossed his arms, looking at Joker with an annoyed expression.
"You've gone to a lot of trouble to get my attention, Joker." Lex spoke. "One has to wonder why."
"Because I see us as kindred spirits." Joker replied. "Sure, there are subtle differences between us. Like hair. But deep down, we're entrepreneurs. Men of vision. We see an opportunity, and we grab it. Am I right?"
Lex only responded with dead silence.
"Right…" Joker replied. "But in the past few months, I've run a string of bad luck. Bad luck that wears a cape. Thanks to the meddling of that pointy eared rodent, Batman, all my operations in Gotham City have been shut down!"
"So why come to me?" Lex questioned. "I'm not exactly lacking in the cape department."
"That's exactly why I'm here!" Joker responded. "I heard you've been having troubles with a muscle bound bully in long underwear, so I came to make a deal."
"I'm listening." Lex replied.
"For the low low price of one billion dollars, I can get you the one thing no one else can!" Joker declared. "The death of Superman."
This time, it was Lex's turn to laugh, much to Joker's confusion.
"And what makes you think you can kill Superman, when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?" Lex remarked.
Joker suddenly grabbed him by his tie, pulling him in closer.
"There's nothing 'mere' about that mortal." Joker informed in a threatening tone. "Besides, I've read up on your flyboy. I know his… weakness."
Joker then went back into the limo and pulled out a large metal box. He opened it and showed Lex the Laughing Dragon, now glowing more intensely.
"See?" Joker showed. "This baby's made of solid Kryptonite."
Lex looked over the statue, the opportunity too good to ignore.
"I won't be tied back to this." He declared. "Unlike you, I have a reputation to maintain."
"Oh don't worry, you'll be Mr. Clean." Joker promised, holding out his hand. "Deal?"
Lex looked down at the hand and slowly grinned.
"Deal." Lex agreed.
"Great!" Joker replied as Harley joined him. "See ya around!"
"Here's your girl's clothes!" Harley cheered before tossing a wad of cloth at the car, watching it splat into a puddle.
The two then walked off, leaving Lex to open the trunk back up and free Mercy.
"You honestly think you can trust him?" Mercy asked.
"Of course I don't trust him." Lex replied. "But if he can kill Superman… who am I to refuse."
Lex then picked up Mercy's clothes from the puddle and handed them to her.
"Here," he told her. "You might want to get dressed."
Mercy took her clothes, groaning at their condition.
…
Sometime later at a Metropolis airfield, Lois and Clark, as well as several other reporters, were covering the arrival of Bruce Wayne.
"I heard Wayne's deal with Lexcorp could run into the billions." Clark informed. "He's certainly a high roller."
"You kidding?" Lois snorted. "He's nothing but a playboy, a guy who sleeps with anyone with a skirt and who throws money around like it's confetti."
"Then maybe I should be asking the questions." Clark remarked. "I'd hate for you to be seduced by the wrong crowd."
"Oh come on, Smallville." Lois remarked. "Like I'd ever fall for someone like Bruce Wayne."
At that moment, Bruce Wayne emerged from the airplane, the reporters immediately clamoring for his attention. Following behind him was Tim Drake, who was dressed in a suit similar to Bruce's. Lois went wide-eyed at the sight of the two.
"Although, the rumors didn't say anything about him being handsome." She admitted. "Nor about him having a kid."
The two then began descending the ramp, being bombarded by questions from reporters on all sides. Tim looked a bit overwhelmed by the attention and flashing cameras, but Bruce took him by the shoulder in a comforting manner. He led his ward through the crowd, making for Lois and Clark.
"Excuse me." Bruce greeted. "You're Lois Lane, right? The famous reporter who does all those stories on Superman, yes?"
"Well… yes, but I wouldn't say famous." Lois replied. "Besides, I don't write them by myself most of the time. I share the byline with Clark Kent more times than not."
"I'm assuming that's you." Bruce deduced.
"Mr. Wayne." Clark replied, extending his hand.
Bruce took the offered hand, then returned his attention to Lois.
"As I recall, your name was the only one on the Airforce One story." He remarked. "Seems you and Superman are close."
"I wouldn't go that far." Lois deflected.
"Do you like him or something?" Tim asked, sounding like an innocent kid.
"I… think the focus should be on your dad." Lois redirected. "A lot of people are interested in why he's in town."
"Mr. Wayne," Mercy's voice called. "Your car."
Bruce looked over and saw Mercy sporting a bandage on her head and a black eye. She opened the limo door for him, waiting for him.
"Perhaps we can talk tonight." Bruce told Lois. "say, over dinner?"
Lois was surprised by the offer.
"Sorry, but-"
"She'd love to." Clark interjected.
"I would?" Lois questioned. "You sure?"
"A story like this falls in your lap and you're going to turn it down?" Clark prompted.
"Well… it's just-"
"It's just an interview." Clark assured her. "Nothing you haven't done before. Trust me, you'll hate yourself if you turn this down because of plans."
Lois chuckled.
"What did I do to deserve you, Smallville?" she said quietly before turning to Bruce. "Dinner sounds great."
"Great." Bruce replied. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight."
"It was nice to meet you, Miss Lane, Mr. Kent." Tim said with a wave as he and Bruce walked over to Mercy.
…
That night, in a seedy part of town, a group of gangsters were sitting down to dinner in a small mexican restaurant. As they ate, the door to the restaurant was kicked open.
"Jumping jiminy crickets!" Joker's voice let out. "Caesar Carlini! Why I haven't seen you since… wait, I've never seen you, have I? You need to get out more."
"What's this clown doing here?" one of the goons demanded.
"Why, I'm tonight's entertainment!" Joker declared. "I've even got a magic trick to show you."
He produced a pencil from his pocket, setting it up on its eraser on the table.
"Watch carefully as I make this pencil disappear." he proclaimed.
"Forget this!" the goon snapped.
He charged at Joker, who grabbed the man by the face and slammed his head onto the pencil. He fell dead, the pencil lodged in his skull.
"Ta-da!" Joker cheered.
"Waste him!" Caesar shouted in terror.
The gangsters all pulled out their guns at Joker, but his smile never broke.
"Ooh, can I play too?" Harley called out from the shadows.
Suddenly, she descended from the upper floor, riding on a pogo stick. She landed hard on several of the goons, shouting 'boingy' every time she landed. She also smashed several tables and decorations, the bullets from the opposing forces not even grazing her. Carlini tried to make a run for it, but he ran right into Joker.
"Carlini, all that spicy food." Joker told him, leaning in. "you look a bit gassy."
He squeezed the flower on his lapel, spraying Carlini with Joker gas. Suddenly, Carlini's cries of fear became fits of laughter, the crime boss falling to the ground as he struggled to breathe. Joker then grabbed him, tossing him out of the restaurant.
"Adios Muchacho!" He called out before slamming the door shut behind him. "Now, as for the rest of you, I have a proposition for you. Either work for me, or I play a fun game of 52 pick up!"
He pulled out a deck of cards, spreading them in his hand threateningly.
"Any objections?" He asked.
…
Later that night, Superman arrived at the Metropolis police department, landing at the front door and greeted by an older man in a blue suit and a younger woman in a trench coat.
"Inspector Turpin, Chief Sawyer," Superman greeted. "You said you had something for me?"
"Yeah, and it's a disturbing one." Turpin informed him. "This way."
The three walked inside, heading towards the departments morgue. Sawyer opened one of the storage doors, pulling out a body.
"Garbage workers found Caesar Carlini dead in one of their dumpsters." She explained. "We were about to write it off as a hit, then we saw this."
She removed the sheet from off the body's head, revealing Carlini's face frozen in a massive grin.
"My god…" Superman let out.
"That's what I thought." Turpin concurred. "Looks like the Joker decided to pay Metropolis a visit."
"The question is… why?" Superman mused.
…
The next morning in a canyon outside of Metropolis, a lone spider-esque robot was skittering across the stones. It scanned the area multiple times as if searching for something, even going as far as to climb up sheer rock walls to get to its objective. Observing the robot from a nearby facility were Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor.
"As you can see, the Wayne-Lex T-7 can traverse any terrain." Lex boasted. "Never losing sight of its ultimate target."
After climbing up onto a nearby ledge, the robot picks up a nearby black box, prompting one of the lab techs to stop his watch.
"14.8 seconds." the tech called out.
"Congratulations." Bruce told Lex.
"Thank you, but this is your project too, you know." Lex reminded.
"Well, I'm proud of the work both our teams have done." Bruce replied. "These robots will revolutionize unmanned space travel."
Lex's smile became somewhat malicious as he put a hand on Bruce's shoulder.
"Actually, there may be a use for them a bit closer to home." he suggested.
He began ushering Bruce towards a different part of the facility, where massive versions of the robot were lined up on either side.
"The joint chiefs have shown tremendous interest in our work." Lex told him. "It doesn't take much imagination to envision these things on the battlefield."
"Except, I won't allow it." Bruce told him, his voice hard.
"What?" Lex let out, honestly surprised.
"I don't like guns." Bruce insisted, turning to walk away. Lex followed him over to the exit elevator
"Bruce, I do believe I have something to say about this." Lex reminded him.
"Not according to our deal." Bruce countered as he got into the elevator. "All technological applications need my approval first. Blame it on me Lex. Tell your friends at the Pentagon, I just don't have the imagination."
The doors to the elevator closed on Lex, leaving him angry and annoyed.
…
That night, Superman flew through the skies, trying to find any sign of the Joker. Unfortunately, he was coming up empty.
"Time to call in some back up." Superman decided, activating his JL communicator. "Batman, you there?"
"Sorry, I'm a little busy right now." Batman's voice came through, the sound of loud club music blaring in the background.
"Are you… clubbing?" Superman questioned.
"You… might say that." Batman replied. "I'll call you back. Got work to do."
The communication was cut after that, much to Superman's annoyance. That's when his super-hearing picked up the same club music from downtown Metropolis, as well as the sound of shattering glass. Having a pretty good idea of what was going on, Superman flew off at top speed.
…
Meanwhile at said club, several armed goons were shooting at Batman, forcing him to leap and dodge the bullets before throwing a batarang, disarming two of them. Batman then dashed forward and uppercutted one, knocking him out. The other one grabbed a bottle and tried to hit Batman over the head with it, but he just grabbed his arm and knocked him back before breaking the bottle over his head, knocking him out. Another goon started shooting at him, but Batman just threw a bat bola at him, tying him up long enough for the Dark Knight to come over and pick him up by the rope before throwing him at several other goons. One in particular managed to slip by and make a break for the door, before a batarang hit it and caused him to back right into Batman.
"It's been some time, Binko." Batman greeted as the goon turned around. "I've heard your boss Carlini's been replaced."
Batman then grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the door.
"Where's the Joker?" He demanded.
"Who knows?" Binko replied. "Probably making 'haha' with Harley Quinn."
Batman just lifted him off the ground, scowling at him.
"Not funny." Batman replied.
"I don't know! Honest!" Binko confessed. "I never went back after he muscled in! I want nothing to do with that clown!"
"That's enough!" Superman declared, grabbing Batman's arm. "I think you got your answer."
Batman's eyes narrowed as he looked over at Superman. Reluctantly, Batman released Binko from his grip, prompting him to run.
"I told you I was busy." Batman insisted.
"Yeah, I noticed." Superman remarked, looking around the trashed club. "When were you going to tell me you were in Metropolis?"
"Didn't think I needed to give you my schedule." Batman remarked.
"I value your help, but your style of crime fighting doesn't sit well for some around here." Superman informed.
"I'll be gone soon enough." Batman promised. "Once I find the Joker."
"Funny, that's why I was trying to call you." Superman declared. "He killed Caesar Carlini and, from the questions you were asking, took over his old gang to boot."
"That's the least of it." Batman replied, pulling something from his belt.
"What do you-" Superman began to ask.
He was cut off by Batman pulling out the piece of Kryptonite, causing him to stumble back.
"It never takes much." Batman remarked, putting the bag away. "The Joker has about twenty pounds more where that came from."
"Why?" Superman asked. "What does he have to gain?"
"Not sure." Batman admitted. "When I find out, I'll let you know."
He then activated his grapnel, shooting up towards the skylight he'd used to get in.
"By the way, if you were trying to x-ray me, lead lined cowl." Batman added before zipping off.
Superman just stood there, irritated by everything that occurred.
"Why do I get the feeling this is not going to be easy?" Superman remarked.
…
Later that night, Bruce took Lois to one of the nicest restaurants in Metropolis. The two were seated at a VIP table overlooking the city, just talking to one another. However, the interview Lois had expected was not going the way she'd imagined. Rather than learn anything about Bruce, she found herself being interviewed about Superman.
"So, he just appears when there's trouble?" Bruce asked. "No special signal?"
"No." Lois replied. "He's not like your Batman."
"Then, how would someone get his attention?" Bruce wondered.
"Committing a felony, for one." Lois answered, stirring her drink with a bored expression.
"And for those of us who obey the law?" Bruce prompted.
Lois gave a shrug, reaching under the table for her clutch. She opened her phone, shooting an S.O.S. text to Clark.
"Everything alright?" Bruce asked.
"I'm just wondering if you agreed to this interview only to learn more about Superman." She informed him. "For the record, I dropped a date for this."
"Sorry." Bruce apologized. "Got caught up in the hype I guess."
"Lois." Clark Kent's voice suddenly called out.
Lois and Bruce both turned as Clark came walking over to the table.
"Hey Smallville." Lois greeted, barely keeping her relief out of her voice.
"Is everything alright?" Bruce questioned.
"I just came to collect Lois." clark explained. "Perry wants us to get the story on a Batman sighting at a local club tonight."
"You don't say." Bruce replied.
"Well, don't want to keep Perry waiting." Lois declared. "Thanks for dinner, Mr. Wayne."
"My pleasure." Bruce replied.
"Aww, leaving already?" the voice of the Joker suddenly called out. "And the party's just getting started!"
Both Clark and Lois turned towards the source of the voice as Bruce's blood ran cold. Joker walked into the restaurant, his freshly stolen gang flanking him on all sides. Each of them was wearing a clown mask and was armed with heavy weaponry. All the guests were completely terrified as Clark instinctively put himself between Joker and Lois.
"Bold move, poindexter." Joker quipped. "Don't you know you're muscling in on Superman's main squeeze?"
"What do you want?" Clark demanded.
"What any man wants." Joker answered. "To find the right girl. And as it so happens, I just did."
One of Joker's men suddenly grabbed Lois from behind, yanking her away from Clark before he could stop them. He tried to reach for her, but the goons raised their weapons, aiming them right at him and Bruce.
"Make sure these two don't try and play hero." Joker commanded as he grabbed Lois from his goon.
"Take your hands off her!" Clark threatened.
Almost immediately, the goon squad began firing on him. Bruce quickly tackled him out of the way, the two taking cover behind a wall. As they both leaned against it, Clark could see Lois being dragged off with his x-ray vision.
"Mr. Wayne, you'd better stay here." Clark decided. "I'm gonna go find help."
"No." Bruce snapped. "You go out there and you're dead. I'll go get help and you stay here."
"I'm not going to argue this with you!" Clark shouted. "I'm going after Lois!"
Bruce gritted his teeth, slipping a small dart gun out of his sleeve.
"I don't have time for this." He decided.
He fired the dart gun, the projectile hitting Clark in the neck and promptly snapping, dropping to the ground. Both of them looked stunned as Clark picked up the small dart, seeing a familiar tech pattern.
"We'll discuss this later." Clark decided.
"Agreed." Bruce replied.
Clark grabbed Bruce, then jumped over the edge of the balcony, removing his glasses as he did.
"I'm assuming you have a change of clothes in your car?" He asked.
"I do." Bruce confirmed. "Drop me off on the street."
Clark nodded as he did what Bruce requested, taking the opportunity to shed his own street clothes to reveal his Superman suit underneath.
"I'll take care of the goon squad while you get ready." Superman informed him. "Just hurry."
Bruce nodded as Superman flew off and Bruce ducked into his car.
Back up top, Superman arrived on the rooftop area, rising up with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face. The goons fired on him, but the bullets just bounced off of him.
"Stand down." Superman demanded. "Now."
"Or what?" One challenged.
"Or you deal with me." Batman declared.
Batman dropped from the shadows next to Superman, scowling down at the goons. Joker saw this and had the biggest smile on his face.
"Well look who decided to stop by." Joker mused. "You sure are a long way from Gotham, Batsy!"
"What are you doing here, Joker?" Batman questioned.
"Came for the sights, the sounds, the Supers." Joker replied. "Thought big blue and I could be as close friends as you and me, Bats."
"Not gonna happen." Superman swore. "Now let Lois go!"
"But think of all the games we could play." Joker proposed as Harley handed him a rocket launcher. "Like this one. Catch!"
Joker then fired a rocket right past Superman, hitting a nearby bridge. The bridge began to burst into flames, crumbling into the water below it. With his super hearing, Superman could hear the screams of people trapped in their cars as they began falling towards the water.
"No!" he shouted.
"You deal with the bridge!" Batman told him. "Joker's mine!"
Superman nodded as he flew off to the bridge, leaving Batman to deal with the Joker.
"Just like old times, eh Batman?" Joker remarked before turning to his goons. "Turn him into swiss cheese, boys!"
The goons then opened fire on Batman, prompting him to leap up and thrown several batarangs at the goons. Once their guns were knocked out of their hands, Batman leapt on one, tackling him to the ground. Batman then caught the punch of another goon before punching him out.
…
At the bridge, Superman got to work catching the cars that risked falling into the water, bringing them back to the road and allowing them to drive to safety. Once most of the people were safe, Superman flew back under the bridge and grabbed some of the pieces of falling rubble, putting them back where they were and using his heat vision to weld them securely into place.
…
Back with Batman, he continued fighting off the goons with relative ease, slowly making his way over to Joker. Lois continued to struggle in Joker's grip, bringing her heel down on his instep. He howled in pain as she tried to make a run for it, forcing him to use his hand buzzer taser to knock her out. Batman saw this and immediately dashed towards them. Before he could reach them though, Harley came out of nowhere and smacked Batman across the head with a comically sized mallet. The impact knocked him over the side of the balcony, where he landed on a window washer's stand. Harley then walked to the edge, giving Batman a small wave.
"Hasta la Vista, Batsy!" she cheered before smashing the stand's motor with her mallet.
The stand then started falling, carrying Batman with it. Batman thought fast and shot out a grapnel, catching the side of the balcony and pulling him up. When he finally got back up top however, Joker, Harley, and Lois were nowhere to be seen. In anger and frustration, he slammed his fist on the railing, pissed he let Joker get away.
