Filling In The Blanks

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9 or any of its characters.

Chapter 36: Memories of Home

Just like a dream… Those were the first words that entered Zidane's head as he wandered off the ship. His head turned this way and that, the crystals shining brightly overhead, giving them just enough light to illuminate the city in a majestic and mysterious way, but little enough to allow them to realize the difference between night and day, so they knew when to sleep.

The entire crew was exhausted and tired, their ship such a drab place to stay all the time. The governor of the city, of course by Kuja's hand, had graciously allowed them two rooms at the most wonderful hotel they had, up so high it was the closest room to the crystals, but still so far away. He was completely oblivious to the fact that they were really from the resistance… As far as they knew, the Prima Vista was an amazing theater ship, and he was honored to have them perform in Terra.

Terra was a great land, consisting of its only city, that didn't have a name – it simply went as 'Terra', like the rest of the territory. There were many places in the country, but again, they didn't obtain a name in all their years. Mostly, there weren't towns, but only small pit stops, like a place to buy food, or occasionally a place to buy potions.

Unfortunately, it was the first place taken over by Kuja. He had begun with the less influential places, and like it had been stated before, in all of its rare glory, Terra was not a persuasive country. It stayed neutral to all world affairs until Kuja knocked on its doors. He had wanted Alexandria originally, but knew that he would have to gain a bit of power first – that's why he took the entire west side of the world before going in for the kill… Not that the order he took over in mattered, as he was so powerful by himself, it only took a matter of months to obtain the world. That's what fueled people's fear of the man the most…

Shoving the door open to the room, Zidane collapsed onto the bed, almost falling asleep as he walked.

For him, it was a rather sad event, when Cinna had the same thoughts. He collapsed on top of the blonde, unaware the bed was already occupied. Sapphire eyes bulged and he squirmed out from under the unmoving mass of a body, falling to the floor, but too lazy to get back up.

It would have woken everyone up, and made everyone in a better mood – only their spirits were still low from their conversation on the ship – Blank had hardly spoken at all, except when they were first landing in Terra.

"You should get some shut eye – our first performance is tomorrow…" Baku nodded, causing everyone to groan and fall back on the bed; all but Cinna, who was already asleep.

Their leader glanced around, wondering who exactly he should kick off their bed so he could have one to himself without having to go to the second room. Ruby had already meandered over to the other space, not wanting to bother her already irritated and upset self even more, by fighting for a spot in an overpopulated room, filled with smelly boys who snored.

Zidane was pulled up by Marcus, who slowly maneuvered out of the room, leaning on each other for support due to their sleep-drunk state. Baku had inevitably picked Marcus off of his bed, considering the tough thief had taken the largest in the room. It was his own fault…

When the blonde finally collapsed on the bed, he was suddenly stripped of sleep. Staring up at the ceiling, he wondered how exactly his plans were going to go with Blank, but then his thoughts slowly started to shift to Dagger.

The thought had filled his mind ever since the airship – what would happen when he didn't get to see the girl again? When he, in fact, didn't get to see anyone again. What would Vivi do? Oh no… the poor little guy wouldn't have any protection against those who thought the dreamers were too dangerous. He wouldn't have anyone who knew what he was going through – he wouldn't have his best friend.

Though the Genome was obviously matched with the redhead when it came to 'best friend' Vivi was a different sort of dear friend that only he and Zidane would know about… They had lived in the same world – dreamed the same dream… They had experienced news that had never happened, events that wouldn't take place. They met people who would never be, and yet that had been their life, their friends, their memories of the past five years.

He was aware that both he and the black mage often mixed the two worlds up. Wondering if, indeed, perhaps parts of Alexandria still possessed luscious grass, and bustling groups of people, instead of the wasteland it so obviously was now. They sometimes worried that someone they once knew of would suddenly appear in front of them, evil, or dead… It was a disturbing thought, and they could lean only on each other for assistance.

Slowly, the blonde rolled over, flopping onto his stomach in hopes of reaching sleep. He didn't want to think anymore – but his eyes were as wide awake as ever, and he needed something to do. Sighing, he shoved himself off the bed, and slipped back on his shoes. Glancing at his two roommates, he saw that both were indeed asleep, and slowly crept out of the room.

Jumping down the many stairs of the lofty hotel (insisting on skipping the elevator shaft due to the immense amount of people), he tried to erase those thoughts from his mind. Hopefully, he would find something different to think about… Terra, after all, was his homeland.

At least – as far as he knew. He could have been completely wrong, but then as he thought about it, pushing open the doors of the hotel and inhaling the scent of downtown, he realized that the feeling he had about it was absolutely right.

Baku wasn't lying when he said that people were ecstatic about the play group being there. Already posters were being hung up, and the long line about a block down, he figured, was also to come watch the play. He probably would have been flocked by people, had he not blended in due to his tail. Smirking, he realized that similar to the way Treno was about five years ago (but probably more affected now, due to the fact that Kuja was much closer to the city that never sleeps, than to Terra), where though they were under different rule, there definitely was no reining in these people. Zidane admired that about the Genome race – they did whatever they wanted, much like himself.

The blonde didn't really know where he was going. He had no direction in such an unfamiliar, yet recognizable atmosphere, so he was just blindly walking, checking out the sights and what people had to say from what he could hear passing by. It took him a long time before he was actually out of the main part of the city.

Crowds began to thin, and he watched as people slowly retired into their homes – the older ones who wanted to simply relax inside their houses, and bathe in good fortune of being where they were in their life.

Without warning, he decided to turn down the street, and walk for another long while. He wondered vaguely how long he had been gone, as the thoughts sifted through his mind, and eventually all fell through the holes – he wasn't thinking about anything stressful or determined to do anything anymore… He simply wanted to walk.

The lighting above him began to dim the further away from town he got. The grass was tickled by the cool breeze, as Zidane entered a more run down area. He tilted his head, not really knowing why he had turned at such random points to end up here. The houses were creepy and almost torn apart, and there still seemed to be grass rooted up. There was no fresh soil scent, and everything was apparently dead.

His brow creased as he stopped in front of one house in particular. It was small, but cozy looking – at least it would have been had it still been looking alright. Half of the roof had caved in, and the front porch looked completely charred – probably from a fire. The grass outside was dead and shriveled, and there was a random red ball laying there. He picked it up and shuttered, suddenly dropping it.

?

A giggle escaped into the air, and people from across the street watering their lawn smiled and called out, though the young one didn't hear what they said.

He laughed as he threw the ball up in the air, watching it magically eclipse a large crystal in the air, before falling back into his small hands.

"Honey!" An angelic voice floated out of the window and he turned, blinking in awaiting confusion. "It's time to eat!" He laughed and dropped the ball, the red material completely forgotten. Hopping up the steps, he opened the door and ran inside, straight into a man's arms.

The older man laughed and wrapped his own strong arms around the tiny boy, picking him up and bringing him to the kitchen. His hair was a dirty blonde, and his eyes were a beautiful piercing green.

The woman stood in the kitchen and turned, showing her long auburn hair, and beautiful face. She had soft features, and kind, sapphire eyes as her voice floated on the air. The boy was placed back on the ground, and he ran off to sit at the table – readily being the first to eat.

?

Zidane shook his head. "Whoa…" He mumbled out loud, "That was weird…" He shrugged and put a little weight on the first burnt step. It shuttered, and the whole front of the house creaked.

Carefully, he hit the support beam with his hand, and again, the house moaned in protest. Instead of listening to the physical objections of the building, he carefully leapt onto the porch, hurrying inside as it seemingly growled at him.

The inside of the house was even creepier than the outside. There were things broken all over the place, shattered glass, dishes that had fallen to the ground. There were very old jars of food still sitting on the counter, some of them missed during what looked like an attempted clean up, and still open.

He peaked feverishly into the living area, and saw the giant chair flipped over, and torn up. There was a strange creature gnawing at something in the corner, and as Zidane craned his neck to look, he identified the item as a book. His eyes lowered as he stepped on glass, immediately scaring the creature out the broken window.

Moving his foot away, his eyes widened when he saw a picture. A woman in a wedding dress, her long auburn hair pinned elegantly to her head, a beautiful necklace chained around her neck, the dress hugging her hips then flowing out like royalty. The veil blew behind her in the wind as she held her bouquet. The man was equally as sparkling, his eyes matching his smile as he stood poised in his black tux. His messy blonde hair was pulled back out of his face, and his arm had slipped around his new wife's waist. Behind him, the tip of a tail peaked out. Zidane recognized these people…

A creak caused him to jump, and when he snapped up his eyes, he saw the creature return, and continue gnawing on the book. He picked up the photo and folded it up, shoving it in his back pocket.

The large, round eyes of the creature blinked innocently as it tilted its head at Zidane. It's highly large ears bent back, and he sat up on his hind legs, glancing around as his tail folded around him. The blonde smiled a little, "Why do you keep coming back here…?"

?

"Momma, can we keep him?" The small voice was even tinier than the last time, as he peered curiously at the small animal, cupped in his father's hands.

"I don't know…" She bit her lip and glanced at her husband; he simply smiled.

"As long as you take care of it bud, I don't see how that would hurt. He's so small…"

"Yay!" The small boy danced around merrily, and hugged the small creature in his arms, "I'm going to make sure you never ever leave – you'll love it at our house!" He gleamed, and the animal made a clucking noise in harmony with him, obviously just as happy.

?

Zidane squeezed his eyes shut as his whole being felt like it was swimming. He steadied himself on the wooden door frame, and reopened his eyes. Again he shook away the strange thoughts. It was like waking up from the dream Alexandria all over again. Rolling his eyes, he figured what he was thinking was silly.

He dragged himself up the stairs, looking at all the broken things on the wall, glass that had been shattered and fallen onto the stairs. But then the most disturbing thing began to fill his vision.

First it started as a few drops of blood, staining the now-dull wood and dirty carpets on the floor. He watched with horror as it got thicker and thicker until there was a dried pool. He suspected someone had died right there, and glancing further into the room there was yet another giant pool…

He gasped as he moved around the blood, looking around. The upstairs had a bathroom, and two bedrooms, with a wide area for yet another sitting space. He poked his head into a room, hoping to get away from all of the blood. There was a small bed, with toys and such that was torn apart. Stuff animals were ripped, blankets were shredded and almost wilted looking. The many years of rugged weather , as part of this room had no roof, and most likely curious animals, much like the one downstairs, most likely helped destroy it, but the blonde wondered what went on here, that truly caused the place to be abandoned.

He didn't want to pick through the room too much, especially seeing all of the blood in the other room, but carefully he opened a drawer or two. He found small clothes – unfamiliar to him in sight and smell, but somehow, in the back of his mind was a tinge of recognition. Again he rolled his eyes, what a silly thought… Turning around, he left the room, and decided to investigate by the window, where the last amount of blood was.

Zidane stared at it for a long amount of time, tilting his head, and trying to think of where this might have been before. He wondered vaguely… could this be the place from his dream? As he bent down, the disgusting scent of old blood filled his nostrils, and he almost shot right back up. But he saw the remains of a feeling, and didn't know exactly what to make of it. Glaring, he sat on the floor, suddenly confused an angry. He grabbed his hair and ducked his head between his legs, feeling sick.

?

"Kuja shan't be defied!" Someone in a helmet growled at them.

The woman stepped backwards, her long hair sweeping against her son's head. Her blue eyes were so wide with fear, it was amazing they didn't drop out of her head. Her long pale arm gripped the young one's shoulder fearfully. Her son with the same and blue eyes blinked, confused, and far less scared than he should be.

"Please..." The man in front of the two tried to wager their freedom, "we've done nothing! I can promise you... But if you must take me... Leave my wife and son. She had nothing to do with it, and he - he's a mere boy - only three years of -"

"Lies!" Taking his metallic sword, he shoved it through the blonde man's stomach, causing a blood flow through the mouth, and spat onto the soldier's hand.

In disgust, he yanked out the sharp metal, allowing the now limp body to the floor. Screaming, his wife dropped down, tears streaming down her face as she hugged his head. His blood smeared face caused the young child to look up in fear. The soldier advanced on his mother in a stalking way. Now that the man was gone, there was no reason to keep his family around.

"Mommy!" He cried out, yanking her arm.

"Zidane! Run!" Looking up in the last moment, she cast a protect spell on Zidane before being hit down, a bloody heap on the ground after the soldier took out his rage on her soft body.

Stabbing her once more, he advanced on Zidane, but his eyes flashed in anger. He stumbled backwards, almost all fear evaporating from him as he saw both of his parents dead on the ground... Just like that. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the horror struck, and he began to feel dizzy with sick. The fear was gone, but the haunting of those images would never leave him so long as he lived.

?

His eyes snapped open and he leapt up in pure horror. Glancing around, everything had come back to him about that night. He barely remembered anything else – just those images… horrible, terrible images of the people so close to him, and probably a decade and a half ago, spread over his mind like the plague.

Zidane stumbled to get up, knocking over the only chair standing upright. He gripped the door frame but suddenly swept his arms to push him away from it. The blonde needed to get out of this house. He vaulted the stairs railing and tripped down them, stumbling into the wall with tears leaking down his face. He hardly noticed.

Crashing into yet another wall, he forced himself not to break down and collapse as he stumbled out of the house. The porch only moaned for a moment as he jumped down it, though he didn't fail to notice that all of the pressure caused a giant crack to run straight through it. But he didn't stop, as he sprinted down the street, trying to get the memories out of his head. This part of the town was abandoned and he now understood why. It was a place of great terror – no wonder why that couple stared at him when he walked down that way.

Bursting out of the dreary street, he was back with laughing people. There weren't as many as before, and he wasn't sure what time it was, but he shook with emotions. Trying to walk up the straight as though nothing had happened, his knees began to buckle below him.

People mumbled to him, but he couldn't make out the words as he walked down the smooth sidewalk. Suddenly, his legs gave out, and he collapsed, sprawled out on the ground. One girl screamed, and he heard pattering footsteps slamming hard into the ground.

"Are you okay?" They demanded, trying to shake him back away. More tears fell from his eyes, but he didn't answer. He simply laid there and shook.

"Someone call the guards!" A girl shrieked.

"Tantalus!" Zidane sucked in the word, and curled on his side, so shaken up he probably wasn't recognizable.

"Get the leader of the theater ship that just came in! They're staying at the Root!"

Someone ran off at a dead dart towards the middle of downtown, as the others tried to flatten Zidane out and give him some water. He simply shook his head, whether to indicate he was fine, or to get the nasty pictures out of his head. He didn't want to be here anymore… He didn't want to know…

The war just became more personal to him than he had ever dreamed it would. It was no longer about Elouise, or simply fighting because all of his friends – the whole resistance had lost many things dear to them… And it still yet, wasn't fighting because he had lost people he knew in the attack on Dali.

Oh no – things were much more personal than that… He tried to calm himself down, but soon he slipped into darkness. This was about the family he never got to know…

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A/N: I know that was kind of a creepy end to what I thought would be a pleasant chapter about Terra. I know I'm not describing a lot, but I'm doing that so hopefully you get the feel for what Terra is yourselves… I don't actually remember if there were mushrooms or not – but I thought it would be cool to have mushrooms. I know the city is actually really dead and creepy, but we're going to say its not for the sake of the story.

Kinda cool that there are actual intelligent people, instead of like the lifeless Genomes in the game ^-^

Please review and let me know what you think so far!

-zesty-