Filling In The Blanks

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9 or any of its characters.

Chapter 48: A Way To Be

"You better be finding him!" The voice was so shrill, the guard was sure he saw the frozen plants cower away. Somewhere in the castle, he swore he heard glass crack.

Though relatively melodramatic all the time – this time was even worse. Kuja was a complete disaster. He was groaning and pacing, and mumbling strange things about failure and power, revenge and emotions turning against you. He walked around like he didn't know what to do with himself, and honestly… even though he was just a grunt, this soldier was sure it was because the Dreamer had outsmarted and almost out powered him on Terra.

He wasn't there, but some of his best buddies were, and they said that they'd never seen a fight quite like that. Some of them were actually openly rooting for the one called Zidane – growing tired of Kuja's relentless attitude with the war. It had been going on for so long, half of his army had spent most of their life in Alexandria – away from their family. Their family that was getting slaughtered by the very side they fought for.

"I can't believe this…" Kuja seemed to whimper to himself, eyebrows knit together as his hands encircled each other. "How could he have almost overpowered me? Me?" Then he growled, flicking his hair from his face and bellowing, "I'm the ruler of this world!" The sounds vibrated, bouncing off the walls into the eerie silence.

The door was suddenly pushed open, and the blonde girl stepped inside, sweeping her hands across the floor as she bowed. He turned slowly to her, a look of ease finally crossing his face.

"My dear… Tell me good news…"

"We have… unexpected visitors…" Her emerald eyes pierced into him as a small smirk sprouted on her lips. They curled back into a snarl, like she had tasted something sour. "Rebel visitors…"

His eyes widened, along with any guards that were just about to get the lecture of a lifetime. Kuja stalked forward, as though she were playing a prank on him. Through his thickly make up done eyes, he glared at her, "Why Elouise, would you lie to me?"

She shook her head, a blonde, spiral wave falling from her bun and framing her face, "This is no lie, M'lord… They come with information… Should I let them in?"

He motioned basically before she'd finished the question.

Guards held onto each of their arms, and Kuja's ice-like eyes pierced the soul of each and every one who came into the room. He could already tell that at least two of them thought this was a very big mistake.

"Who are you?" Kuja inquired, standing at his full height, and looking extremely dangerous for a powerful man who looked like he was dressed in underwear and a skirt.

The one in front sucked in a deep breath, eyes not wavering, "I was a former knight of Alexandria, and my mother and brother were slaughtered in Dali when the resistance was found out… I come to you with information about the Dreamers – Zidane Tribal and Vivi Ornitier…"

"But who are you?" Her asked with a growl in his tone. The soldiers snapped to attention at his sharp tone.

He closed his eyes, wondering for a moment if he would regret his decision to come here. "The only thing you need to know, is that my name is Bronson."


"Maybe you should take a break…" Freya bit her lip, showing doubt on her usually emotionless face.

"Again…" He commanded, his chest heaving hard.

"Zidane –"

"Again." He repeated with a nod, bringing his dagger closer to his chest.

She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to argue with him, and launched another lethal attack. He was getting slower and slower at dodging, and she was worried she might actually hit him.

Ruby watched from the side lines, wringing her gloves together. She would bite her lip nervously, and flinch back every time she was sure Zidane would get caught in Freya's power. Blank stood rigidly beside her. He, of course, was up for helping his best friend train, but this wasn't going to help him.

Zidane barely had time to register any of this. His feet had just touched the ground before he had to jump again to dodge Freya's strange magic attack. He flipped backwards, feeling the sting on his tail. He could also feel the hesitation in the spell.

"Keep going!" He demanded breathlessly. How would he ever be able to defeat Kuja's relentless attacks from more than one foe, if he couldn't keep up against his hesitant friend. "Blank! Join in!"

The redhead rolled his eyes, and drew his dagger. Ruby's hands wrapped around his arm, "What are you doin'?"

"Stopping this…" He murmured, staring at her.

She couldn't clearly see his eyes, but let him go anyways, turning towards the two sparring to watch. Blank leapt into the middle of them, easily kicking the Bermecian's extra dagger, slid into her sleeve, out and to his left hand. He barred one dagger against each foe.

"Enough!" He bellowed warningly, and immediately, Freya backed down.

Zidane gave him a grin and tried sparring with him, but Blank held firm. "Zidane, I know you want to get stronger –"

"I have –"

"I know…" The redhead grunted with frustration. "But you also have to understand, that this isn't going to help you heal faster –"

"I don't have time to heal, Blank!" Zidane placed his hands on the other thief's shoulders, "We are leaving tomorrow and –"

"I don't care… Make time, or I will personally slit your throat while you sleep, before you get on that airship…"

There was silence for a moment, as though both were sizing the other up. Finally, a grin broke onto Zidane's sweaty face.

"You win…" He collapsed into the grass, and relief flooded the three others with him. Though in the last twenty-four hours, the blonde had been acting completely different, at least some of his personality still shined through. "I'm beat!" He heaved, and Freya offered him some of her water.

He guzzled down the whole thing in three big gulps, and smacked his lips before making a breathy, "Haaaaa…" noise that drifted noiselessly into the wind.

"You're doing well," The Bermecian offered, adjusting the dagger back into her sleeve.

"Thanks…" He grinned cheekily, "I didn't even know you kept a dagger in your jacket…"

She gave him a sly, toothy grin back, "You don't know a lot of things, Zidane Tribal…" He let out a comfortable laugh, and the others slowly joined him on the grass.

"Are ya sure it's a good idea to go towith us, Zidane?" Ruby questioned. Blank's face had basically been screaming this question (but in more understandable English) since they'd been called in for the meeting, but he hadn't said a thing…

Count of Ruby to be so dense to make a statement.

He sighed, knowing eventually he'd have to face this. "If I could take on Kuja in Terra, I'm sure I'll do fine in Treno… Besides, he doesn't let those creatures out anymore, right? Not with all of his dreamers caught…"

"One," Blank started bitterly, "You barely made it out of Terra, or had your ego inflated so far that it's blocked out the memory of only a month ago…? And two, sometimes they still lurk – always finding new and interesting people to abduct…"

This seemed to stop the blonde in his tracks. He shuttered involuntarily, but tried to cover it up. "It'll be fine… Both of you… I've got one of the most elite teams ever watching my back…" He smirked, "Not just two idiots doing a scout patrol as punishment for late curfew…"

Blank actually snickered, remembering the circumstance that they got themselves into that mess. Now that Zidane was here, in the flesh (though having been near death plenty of times since the two friends had reunited), it was easier to glance back at the memory, and remember the details about that wretched evening.

But then he sobered, and stared at his best friend, before crawling over and clasping a very serious hand on his shoulder. "Zidane…"

It was quiet for a moment, and they listened to the distance chatter of voices.

In a low, quiet voice more serious than the blonde was sure he'd ever heard it, the redhead spoke, "I don't regret anything more in my life, than leaving you there that day…"

Lids closed over blue eyes as the Genome mulled over what his best friend had said. He hated – hated – that Blank blamed himself for that horrible night… The night that Zidane honestly couldn't be prouder of… He may have been caught, but he had saved Blank's life in the process. Both of them knew only one would be taken prisoner – very rarely were pairs captured.

"I know…" Was all the blonde could lamely retort. Then he opened his eyes and gave a small smile. Their days might have been numbered, but they weren't going to go out without a fight. "Let's go kick some ass."

So it seemed that Zidane had accepted his fate once again, and this time, he wasn't going to push his luck. But if Zidane already knew he would most likely die in this last attempt to round up the scattered good verse Kuja's spreading evil, then it was likely all the others knew as well.

"Hey you jack asses!" All of them looked up to see Baku, his wide arms crossed over his burly chest, "Get over here so we can properly train ourselves!" He barked.

The three Tantalus jumped up and ran towards him, but Freya stayed on the ground. She watched Zidane run, tilting his head back every so often to glance with a grin at his two friends. She pushed the silver hair from her eyes and stood slowly.

"Freya, love…" She turned to see Fratley standing only feet away from her. He extended a hand, "Come here…"

She moved robotically towards Fratley, and without another word, he pulled her in where she was already going – to his arms, and he tightly held her hoping his touch was full of safety and security.

"Why?" She whispered, and he pulled back just in time to see a tear escape her eye and roll down her cheek.

Out of this whole mess, this was the very first time Freya had shown any weakness. She looked dejected and sad, and rubbed tiredly at her eyes. "Why?" She asked a little stronger. But with that strength came more tears, and soon Fratley was holding her as she sobbed.

"War is wretched," she managed through her emotions, "War is weak. It cowers behind the grief people feel at the loss of a loved one… Especially in such a war as domination. Kuja is not fighting a real war with us – he is playing cat and mouse, cowering behind his overwhelming armies, scared of a true fight of skills with those who stand up to him…"

"I know, love…" That was all Fratley could say. He didn't disagree with her at all, but he hadn't any more to add. She had hit the nail right on the head.

She pulled back then, and he pushed the hair out of her face so he could see her eyes. They burned with a fury and passion he very rarely saw the ever-calm Freya develop.

"If Zidane doesn't finish the job, I will personally kill Kuja…" Fratley smiled… That was Freya.

"And I'll be right by your side to help," he promised, and kissed her forehead. "We should probably get going…" And without any hesitation, he began to move, keeping her long hand intertwined with his own.


Zidane looked around his room with his hands on his hips. His bright blue eyes scanned the area, wondering if there was any hidden luck he had forgotten to take with him. They all needed this recruitment plan to work.

At least when he was dead, he'd figure out who was real, and who was fake, in his dream world, right?

"Zidane?"

The voice he thought would seek him out – that lovely, soprano voice that made all of his heart ache and mistakes worth staying underground or in the trees… unfortunately hadn't come to see him. He turned to see Vivi standing nervously in the doorway.

"Hey Vivi, what's up?"

"Can I ask you something?" He questioned.

"Sure…" Zidane tilted his head, and beckoned him inside, "Take a seat."

Vivi waddled over to the chair pushed up against the wall and hopped into it. He thought for a long moment, watching the thief's attention slowly melt off of him, and focus on other things in the room.

"How are you so positive?"

The question definitely caught him off guard. He turned around, his direct attention on the black mage again. The little guy seemed to shrink into himself. "What I mean is… Everyone is saying that you're going to die…" His voice got choked up, and suddenly, Zidane was in front of him, worried.

"Vivi, nobody is going to let you die."

"That's n-not why I'm c-crying…" He stuttered, wiping at his misty yellow eyes.

"Then why?" The Genome narrowed his eyes and sat back on his haunches on the ground, leaning forward so he could hear his quiet friend better.

"I don't want you to die…" There was silence as Zidane suddenly tried to keep himself together. Vivi took that as a queue to go on. "You've been there for me since day one. You're the only one besides my Grandpa who ever stopped to help me, and you've done nothing but help me since…

"Zidane, you're my best friend… You've taught me to be brave, and to keep smiling for the sake of others… But I can't do that – not if you're going to die."

"Vivi…" Zidane choked.

Since day one… Way back, months, and months that felt like decades ago, to that first moment he woke up cold on that cot, Zidane couldn't recall a time that he had cried. Maybe there were a few times where his vision had blurred with hot drops and fury, but never had he been sitting and speaking to someone, and broken down. Not when he didn't know where he was, not when he found out that his parents were dead, or that Blank was alive. Not the countless times he had almost died, or watched others get hurt or wounded because of him. Not any time that Rusty had yelled at him, or even when Bronson had told him he didn't deserve Dagger's affection…

And yet, being told by Vivi that he didn't want Zidane to die…

Here he was, his face in his hands, vision misty, his shoulders shaking. He was crying…

"Don't cry…" Vivi tried to command him, but there wasn't enough spirit in his voice to give any optimism. More tears seemed to be shed when both of them realized how many times the blonde had told the mage just those two words… and how, after this mission, it would probably never happen again.

There was silence, save for a few muffled sobs, peppered with some sniffles. Each was motionless, not knowing exactly what to do in their current state. Zidane was the first to sit up, his eyes blood shot, tear stains on his dirty cheeks. He sucked in a huge breath, and rubbed away his sadness on his gloves. Then he put his hands on Vivi's shoulders.

"No matter what happens, Vivi… I'm so positive because I know they've got you… I know you don't see it, but Vivi you woke up from that dream… That means you are just as powerful as I am. The only thing you're lacking is confidence… If I'm gone, they're still going to have one kick ass magic user to help them… Someone others can look up to… I'm positive because if I go, I know all of you have a better chance of living…"

"Don't be so brave…" Vivi shyly told him. Zidane's eyes widened a little – he had never heard his friend say something like that before. "Aren't you scared to die? You're so gallant, and convinced that this is going to help everyone else… But what if it doesn't? You're sitting right in front of me, and just talking about this, my confidence in this cause, my happiness – everything is already draining. I feel no use waking up tomorrow and boarding that airship… I wish that I could take you and Beatrix and Steiner and Dagger and Quina and Eiko and Cid and just run. Don't you care about what you're leaving behind?"

It took him a long time to answer. Of course, Vivi was right on the money. There was nothing more that Zidane would love to do, than take those close to him, and run. But, where would that leave the others? The ones he wasn't close to? They wouldn't stand a chance without people who knew what they were doing…

He watched Dagger cry in that meeting today, and his heart ripped into two. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to be done horsing around with Blank and the rest of Tantalus, or listen to Rusty grumble about how much trouble Zidane was, or have Freya always around to give him advice… He especially didn't think he'd had enough time with Dagger. Laughing with her, kissing her, having her completely safe in his arms…

But he couldn't condemn anyone else, their feelings, thoughts, or lives, because he wanted to live… and that included the one sitting before him calling him out. So he smiled and said, "That's really how I feel, Vivi… Of course I care, and of course I'm going to miss you guys, but if it means all of you can live… There isn't anything else I'd rather do…"

But Vivi wasn't fooled. His glowing eyes narrowed, but he shook his head and pulled his hat closer to his eyes. "I don't believe you… but you don't have to explain that to me… I understand."

"I'm so sorry, Vivi…" He whispered. Instead of answering, the mage jumped into his arms for a hug.

"You are the best friend I could have ever asked for…"

Instead of doing an actual goodbye, Zidane chuckled and pushed the mage gently back. "You talk about me like I'm already dead!"

And Vivi could have shot back aren't you? But instead he smiled too, "Sorry."


Dagger closed her eyes, feeling a little more power than the last time she tried.

Cure was not an easy spell. Its advanced forms were even harder to master. But she had to try… If there was a spell that might be able to save Zidane from death, then she was going to learn it.

"Dagger?" The high pitched voice made her jump. She wasn't used to Eiko's voice, even after all this time.

"Eiko?" She questioned, turning around. The girl was in the doorway, feet pointed in, and fingers hooked behind her back. She rocked from side to side, looking too innocent to let it go. "What are you doing here? Don't you want to get some sleep?"

"Well yeah…" She rolled her eyes, "But I had to come talk to you."

"Me? What for?"

She walked forward, confidence suddenly overflowing from the girl. She shot a pointed finger at Dagger, "You haven't seen Zidane at all, have you?!"

There was silence as Dagger weighed how to answer. But Eiko beat her to it. "I'll take your silence as a no."

"Excuse me?" Dagger tilted her head, her hair falling over her shoulder, "I don't think –"

"No… Just listen to me talk…" She nodded, determined – so determined that Dagger's mouth clamped shut. "You know…" She wrung her hands together like she was going to admit something big. "You know… I'm in love with Zidane!" She all but shouted.

This girl? This six or seven year old girl was in love with Zidane? Dagger's lips twitched up into a smile.

"Don't laugh!" She demanded. "He's only ever been nice to me, and I can tell he's pretty interested." The raven haired girl had to refrain from raising an eyebrow, "But… Even though he's into me, he's got this real strong, weird connection with you. I think everyone else thinks he's in love with you, but I know better than that."

This kid really wasn't helping Dagger's mood, but somehow, she was actually igniting a little humor in the yellow-clad girl's mind.

She narrowed her eyes, suddenly suspicious. "But he does care about you… And I can tell from your silence through this whole conversation that you care about him too!" She crossed her arms, almost glaring at the girl. When Dagger didn't respond, her face broke into a crimson red, and her eyebrows knit downward. "You better take care of him!"

Dagger blinked, thoroughly surprised. "What?"

"Everyone's going around saying Zidane's going to die! But I know him better! He's not going to die…" She crossed her arms. "But he might get in trouble… And I don't know anyone better for the job, except me, but I might not be there, because I might be saving other people, but I can't find anyone better for the job of getting him out of a jam, than you!"

"Me?" She questioned back.

"You!" Eiko sighed, collapsing onto her butt. "Man, that was tough to get through…"

"Why do you think I should save him?"

"You're sitting in here trying to make yourself learn another cure spell… I think that screams dedication…"

"Hm…" Was all she said back.

It was quiet for a moment while Dagger stared at the girl. Eiko's amber eyes roamed around the room, and the rebel leader could just tell if she wasn't there, the purple haired girl would steal everything in sight. Then suddenly, amber eyes slid back to her.

"I could help you, you know…"

"Huh?"

"With your spell… I could help…"

Dagger narrowed her eyes. She was trying to figure out a nice way to tell the six year old, dreaming girl that it took a very special type of person to be able to do magic – let alone white magic… That was the rarest. "Eiko… See the thing is… There are these things called –"

"White mages…" She nodded, "I know what you're about to say…" She grabbed Dagger's hand suddenly, and flipped it over, revealing a small cut from the ground when Bronson had hit her, still not quite healed. The room lit up just a little, and tiny lights that look like jeweled began to spiral upward from the cut in her hand.

In just a moment, it's like those tiny light fragments extracted the injury from her hand, and it was as good as new.

The black haired girl stared. And continued to stare, and then stared some more. She had never seen a cure cast on herself before… Beatrix did them every so often, but they drained so much of her power, she liked to keep Dagger in that role, so she could use her mana for other things. But… This little girl…

She glanced up, and Eiko smiled gently at her. "I asked around when Zidane was gone… I was…" Her cheeks went pink, "trying to get some information about you two, just to see what you were about…" She shrugged, "someone came back with a story on how you actually summoned a creature in Alexandria…"

Dagger didn't say a word.

"Well… I thought maybe I should tell you that I do that too…"

"What?" She gasped, leaping up.

Eiko nodded, "Leviathan, Ifrit, Ramuh, Shiva, you name it, I'll summon it!"

The girl's chocolate eyes were wide with shock. This girl came in, telling her she had to protect Zidane, then did a total one-eighty and told her she could summon?! No one else in the entire world had been able to summon and… Well – that's exactly what Kuja was looking for!

"How did you learn that?"

"I've always been able to! I mean, for awhile anyways… I think I've always had the power, but it took Mog awhile to teach them to me… It's hard to explain something you've never done – you know?"

"I can't believe this…" Dagger fell back in a chair, a hand to her forehead. "We have to tell Cid!"

"Wait!" Eiko cried, jumping up. "No! I haven't told anyone, because I didn't want anyone to know… No one knows but the moogles, and they're good at staying out of people's ways. I've heard the stories too, you know… Moogles have stories about everything! Kuja wants a summoner – that's why he wants you so bad!"

"How do you –"

"I don't want to be on the radar…" She sighed and looked down, "I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want to… If it weren't for making so many friends, and being captured, I would have stayed out of this fight for good… No stupid troops were going to come to my dinky little cave and try and take down a little girl… A mage or a guard might come check on me every so often, but I have rows upon rows of boulders – I could see them coming for ages! I don't want people to know… I only told you so I could help you…"

"I just don't understand…" She breathed, "Why wouldn't you want to help?"

"Being in this resistance is terrifying. If I can help – great… But I don't want to be in danger of torture and a living life of terror if Kuja gets a hold of me… I know you wouldn't want that either, but you're the Princess, and everyone already knew that you could summon… Because the Princess always could summon – it's in all the books that Kuja got his hands on such a long time ago. And besides… I don't want to give Kuja a two in a million chance at what he wants, instead of just one."

"How do you know all this?"

"Like I said… I live with a bunch of moogles, and their favorite thing is to write letters to each other… I know a lot more than everyone thinks I do…"

"Oh Eiko…" Dagger fell to her knees and hugged the girl. "I understand… I won't tell…"

"And one more thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Now that this is out in the open… Protect Zidane… Because I can't… Because I can't cast those spells… Protect him, because I love him… Because I think deep down, you know you love him too…"

If you only knew… Her mind breathed at her, pushing all other conscious thoughts backwards. They sat like that, hugging each other for another long while, unsure of what to do next.


A/N: Wow! What an interesting chapter :) Not much to say, except that I hope that you like it!

Please leave me some love, lovelies!

-zesty-