Filling In The Blanks
Dislcaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX or any of its characters.
Chapter 55: A New Resistance?
The noises around him flooded through his ears sounding filtered. Everything seemed far away and fuzzy, and when he opened his eyes, his vision swam.
Groaning, he pushed himself to his knees, knocking the bits of wood and dust from his being. When he lifted his head again, he saw bright yellow, red… and one big blob of brown.
When he squinted, he realized it was Dagger and Freya, their weapons drawn. In front of them was a giant flying type insect. Its long tail whipped out behind it, scales shining in the dusty light. Four long, steel feelers jabbed viciously downward, hoping to impale one of the two in front of him. Despite their bewildered movements, he didn't process that they were fighting, and might appreciate some help.
So he glanced around, taking in the still-blurry scenery. It was dark, and though the walls were still stone, it seemed like they were held in place hastily by a lot of wood. There were wooden support beams nailed across the ceiling, and wooden pillars, contrasting largely with the grand ivory and marble he'd seen before.
His other companions laid sprawled out on the ground around them, still knocked unconscious, or just coming to. There was one hallway in the room, but after a few feet, it got ominously dark, and chills ran down his spine when he stared at it for too long. Otherwise, it was just a big area, cold and damp, the musty smell from the mold, lingering in the air.
He looked down at the ground under his hands, and jumped back, teetering onto his feet. A skull stared back at, the jaw looking like it was smiling, telling him he was going to die in just the same way.
Azure eyes were wide as he tried to scrutinize the room more carefully. There were chains on the walls, and one other dark door that had bars criss-crossing in the tiny peep hole of a window, and a hallway behind it that didn't look much better than the room he and his teammates were residing in.
The most prominent features of the room, however, were the decayed bodies, only the pristine white of bones left over… Some bones were cracked and brown with the dirt and dust, and others looked fresher… A new set of chills crawled down his spine, clutching his stomach.
And just like that, his dream like reality was over. Noise was blasting in his ears again, and he could hear the shrill calls of Freya and Dagger, trying to wake their comrades up, even as they battled the horrendous beast. It roared viciously loud, and some part of his mind wandered how he hadn't seen it before.
The blonde blinked slowly, sliding his dagger out of its sheath. He wondered if this beast also took weak weapons, but he watched as Freya jammed it again and again with her spear, and it seemed to be affecting it well enough.
He rubbed his head, wondering how hard he hit it, before Dagger called out his name.
"Zidane! We could use your help!" She glanced back at him quickly with a grin, though it never reached her eyes.
He stumbled a little as he walked forward, still wandering in a daze, and he knew in an instant he was in no condition to fight. His leg throbbed as he ambled, but he knew he needed to help them anyways.
Running a wobbly run, he darted towards the monster and leapt, arms and legs flailing, keeping his eyes firmly closed to contain the measly contents of his stomach, until he landed on its head. It thrashed and roared angrily at them, obviously not taking too kindly to being ridden on.
"Whoa!" Zidane called, watching as the ground continually spun beneath him. He fought to keep a grip on both his weapon and the monster as he pulled back his arm, digging his knife into its thick scales.
It howled and bucked him about, the blonde's stomach tightening and feeling even a little queasy with the movement. How far had he fallen?
At this point, unbeknownst to the blonde, Blank and Beatrix had joined the fight. The woman was a little wobbly, but nowhere near Zidane's drunken movements, and the redhead was supporting a badly cut up side, but they were simple fixes once this monster was defeated.
Beatrix threw a few spells out at the monster, hopefully trying to slow it did a good job pissing it off, though if her lightning spells did any damage, they couldn't tell.
She stiffened, readying herself for her next attack. The woman had to admit that she didn't usually do seiken, her non-elemental spell class, anymore. It drained too much of her energy, and these days, fighting in the resistance, she didn't have one massive enemy to take on at one time. This was obviously not the case now, and she hoped she could still inflict a heavy amount of damage on the beast with it.
The brunette focused her energies, light pulling almost magnetically to her hands and up her sword, as she ran forward, letting out a battle cry.
"Zidane, watch out!" Dagger warned him. The blonde had no choice than to dizzily let go of the monster, and clatter down on the stone next to him. His body groaned in protest as he weakly pulled himself to his feet, still not seeing clearly.
The woman's shock ability rumbled the entire dungeon, and the everyone was surprised that all of the crusty wooden supports didn't come crashing down. The monster roared in pain, curling itself into a tight ball, trying to block itself from further attacks.
She quickly readied herself again, however, surprisingly enough, the insect-monster seemed to want to make a retreat, curling towards the wall, and making quick, jerking movements to find an exit. She repeated the same seiken, but this time, loose stone toppled down on them.
It was a quick moment really, and the monster was knocked out. Probably not dead, but it would buy them enough time to think of an escape. More rock crumpled down on Zidane, and he groaned, getting knocked in the head again.
"That's a definite concussion…" He grumbled, trying to stand. Dagger made a hasty attempt to steer him clear of the monster, laying motionless (for now) on the ground.
"Beatrix, that was phenomenal!" Freya praised with a rare grin. She tipped her hat down over her eyes, though her pearly white teeth shined with radiance and enough glee to show she was pleased with the turn out.
The woman collapsed onto her knees in a huff. "Oof! I forgot why I don't do that anymore!" But the smile on her face said she agreed with Freya, surprising even herself.
"Steiner and Marcus are still out cold…" After all of them regrouped at the far end of the dungeon, they took a look at their options. Dagger quietly worked on a few raise spells in an attempt to wake the two men up, and the others gave her the space she needed.
"There's no way we're getting through the door…" Blank said, pointing to it. "And there's no way in hell I'm going down that sketchy hallway!" It seemed Zidane wasn't the only one who noticed the dark corridor behind the monster.
"That's probably where it came from… It's best we don't venture in there…" Beatrix nodded in agreement.
"But then… where?" Zidane asked in frustration, clutching his head between his knees.
"Nowhere, friends…"
All of them jumped as the metal-enforced door swung open across the room. There, none other than Lysandra stood in front of them, her arms spread wide.
"What are you doing here?! How did you find us?!" She let on a small, lopsided smile of embarrassment.
"Why don't we get you out of here first…? I never intended for you to fall into this pit, but it seems you were too distracted by the monsters to realize the mirrors would show you what to do."
"You knew?!" Blank's eyes widened in shock, and he knew he spoke for everyone else in his question. "You knew we were stuck down here? You knew that everything would come after us if we touched those two mirrors? You knew we were struggling in here?" The redhead's emerald eyes, though they couldn't be seen, were sure to be as wide as saucers. "And you didn't bother to help?!"
"I'm helping now, aren't I?" She asked, her brow raised, lip curled back in arrogance and defense. "If you don't wish to come with me, rot in the dungeon –"
"We're coming!" Beatrix and Dagger said hastily.
"Why?" Steiner whispered. Though he had missed the whole fight, and was battling back quite the headache, he wanted to know from her now, more than anyone else why she had decided to help them… Why had she led them here in the first place? He knew everyone else was thinking the same question.
"Your resistance…" She started, as they moved down the long hall, winding back up into the castle, "You would say anything to anyone, no matter who they appeared to be, to protect it, correct?"
They glanced around, all knowing very well how guilty they were of that in Dali.
"Please do not prosecute us for this decision… There is a life time of danger waiting out there for us… A lifetime of danger we hope to avoid…"
"I don't understand…" Steiner gestured to all of them. "What exactly are you hiding with these stories and lies?"
Lysandra stopped in the hallway, the murky sunlight seeping through the window. She gestured towards Dagger. "The mirrors, Dagger…"
She handed them over carefully. Lysandra connected the two, and just as before, the ominous sounds of enemies stalking quickly towards them filled their ears. Everybody visibly flinched.
The woman showed them the mirror, "I know, with so many things coming after you all… You wouldn't want to look back at what you discovered." Their eyes widened as they saw what was reflected in the two pieces of glass.
It was the same silvery crystal that made up the mirror, but with inscription on it – just as they'd seen etched into the stone when they entered the castle.
"Do not be restricted by your knowledge and experience…" Steiner quoted, for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. Apparently these words had a lot more meaning in Ipsen's castle than they all originally thought.
And then, the sound of clattering feet, of beating wings, and snarls of those who wished them gone, suddenly vanished.
"Let me show you something else…" The woman ushered them up the winding staircase at the end of the hall, and when they stepped into the next room, it was as though they had entered a completely different place.
The walls were lit up by grand candelabras, once ominous halls lined with carved statues, ivory pillars full of light, and beautiful red carpets. It looked vaguely familiar, yet different all at the same time.
She turned abruptly to her right and pushed open the large, heavyset door, chiseled from oak, with steel reinforcements nailed into it in delicate leaf patterns. In the room was the same large throne they'd seen before, with countless statues of who they believe were Ipsen, and countless other important people. There were desks and tables, and many people bustling about, who all stopped to stare at the newcomers.
"We use Ipsen's Castle as a sort of test… If you can make it through the castle and find our mirrors to help you escape, then you succeed… If you don't… Well – you saw the bodies down there. It's how we protect ourselves."
"How would putting people through this test protect you?" Blank asked, crossing his arms.
"Dagger…" She instead turned to the young girl, who stood at full attention. "When you had both mirrors in this room, did they speak to you…?"
She nodded, though it was very timid. "The mirrors of reveal and conceal? They were like magnets… they wanted me to push them together."
"There are the two mirrors of reveal and conceal that we split into two, totaling to be four mirrors…" She held up the other two that she fished out of her pocket. "The reveal shows you the way, while it's other half shows us what your true intensions are… The conceal hides the castle in all of its gloom and riddles, a thick haze settling around it, and conceals us so we can continue in the castle as we please, while you try to find your way in the tricks."
"I'm confused…" Zidane said, tilting his already-dizzy head. "So you were here, all this time?"
"It's almost like two dimensions… Just take my word for it – the explanation will confuse you further…"
The blonde slowly nodded, unsure if she was serious or not.
"You fought the last stand of Ipsen's castle – Taharka… The beast in the dungeons… It will not kill who is good."
"Then how do you explain why it almost killed us? If you can see that we mean you no harm, and that we really are against Kuja with the mirrors, why have us fight a monster who wants to kill us?!"
"There are all things you are not proud of in life, correct?" She shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. "The Taharka does not feed off of good and bad by the war's standards… Just by your morals, and how you see your past mistakes… But…" She grinned, "You must ultimately be good because… he didn't kill you, did he?"
All of them stopped and pondered this for a moment.
"So he is not dead?"
Lysandra laughed and shook her head, "Taharka may never die… We still do not know much about him, besides that he is the protector of the mirrors, and Ipsen's Castle's last defense against intruders…"
"Tell us more about Ipsen's castle… If it is not upside down anymore," Freya gestured to the outside, a bright sunlight glittering on the friendly stone floors, "and the sun shines outside… Where did the riddles and thick mist come from?"
"That story I repeated to you about Ipsen's castle was not true… A man from the elemental shrine was indeed here, but his curse was really the blessing… The painstaking riddles and the blinding mist are protection. We cannot see each other… so how could Kuja?"
A grin suddenly spread across every newcomer's face. "Impressive," Amarant praised. Even he was clearly awed.
"This is a lot to take in…" Zidane groaned, collapsing to the ground on his butt, holding his head tightly in his hands. He didn't really think it had occurred to anyone yet that he might be having some actual trouble, and just blamed it on fatigue, but his mind was so dizzy and far away that he didn't have the sense to say anything either.
Steiner stepped forward, his eyes wide and guarded, "My father?"
Lysandra's eyes went downcast, and she opened her mouth before shutting it again, unsure of what to say. She did this a few more times before finally, she glanced up at him. "They found him here, injured and wounded after a fight with Taharka… They got him out, healed him as best they could but at that time… We didn't have the right materials… or any medicine…" She sighed, "Your father was limited… In no way did he have the strength to physically go back to Alexandria, and we all figured he didn't have the heart to bestow that kind of an ache in his three sons… He had been gone for so long… He thought…" She sighed and straightened, rushing out the story, "Maybe it would be better to just let it go…"
"What?" Steiner muttered, his voice barely audible.
"He loved you, and he wrote you letters every day… But his hands-" she held her own up as though that would help him understand. "They didn't work either… It wasn't eligible… He barely got through a paragraph in a few hours… He did not want you to know he was still alive, and living in this painful position."
"How long ago did he die?"
"We don't know the reason he died…"
"How long?!" Steiner demanded, grinding his teeth together.
The woman sighed, rubbing at her own misty eyes. "A couple of months after we saved him from the castle…"
"And nobody sent word?!" He yelled at her, slamming his fist against the wall. It was a weaker hit than one would expect from the knight. Tears stung at his own eyes, and Beatrix took a step back, covering her mouth with her hand. She'd never seen him cry.
"We didn't know where he lived… We didn't know where he wanted us to send it. The last letter you received was brought by moogle, was it not?" It was true… Steiner didn't move to reply. "For a very, very long time, we tried to decipher what had happened to his three sons… and… we couldn't."
The man closed his eyes, struggling to keep his composure. All these years he didn't know anything about the way his father died, and now these people tell him that he'd been wondering for far too long. He turned away, only to see Nathaniel standing in the doorway, having heard the whole thing.
"And you didn't bother to contact me…" He muttered.
His older brother didn't say a word.
"Even after Alexander had died! Even after that and you knew I had nothing left! You didn't bother to contact me! You didn't want to tell me that you were okay! That you found out about Father! That you –"
"You didn't bother with me either!" He shouted, eyes glaring daggers into his brother.
"I did it to keep you safe!" Finally, the tears spilled over in Steiner's eyes. The strong knight, who always stood at attention and always kept his armor on incase of a battle, finally broke down. For the first time since his father had abandoned them… the first time in twenty-four years… The knight finally broke down. "I did it… so Kuja couldn't find you, wherever you had gone."
A sinking feeling suddenly gurgled in Nathaniel's stomach. Again, all these years had gone by, and Adelbert was still one step ahead of his brother, five years his superior.
Lysandra's eyes swept from one to the other. Brothers? They had another brother? Nathan had never spoken about his family… If Steiner and him were brothers that meant that Nathan's father was –
She stopped, closing her eyes. What a mess…
Steiner moved silently from the room. He swept by his brother and disappeared into the castle again. This time, nobody followed him.
"Way to go." Beatrix told him, acting more Dagger's age than her own. Her informal language, and the prissy toss of her hair sent them back to when they were much younger, and had only just met. She stormed out of the room as well, but whether she followed Steiner or not wouldn't be known.
"Come… Let us bring you to the feast tonight… You need your rest…" Lysandra quickly bustled everyone out of the room, not saying anything to Nathan as she passed either.
"What do you miss the most?" Lysandra jumped. While she thought she was going to be sneaking up on him, it seemed, he knew she was there all along.
His eyes were staring up at the sky, shrouded again by the protective mist. It was more calming than it was before, knowing the likeliness of them being discovered at this point was slim in the valley, and understanding that the mist was there on purpose.
She decided not to play dumb, and walked leisurely over to him, sitting on the ground next to him. "The most? I'd have to say… The stars…"
"The stars?" He turned to her, his eyebrows raised in shock.
She nodded, "It's comforting to hear the sound of water… to breathe in the scent of flowers, or even be in an open prairie field but… Nothing is more relaxing and calming than being able to look up, no matter where you are, and see twinkling, guiding lights in the sky above you…"
"That's a good way to look at it," he told her, smiling.
"Being stuck under a mist is like being stuck under a constantly cloudy day. It's dreary and kind of sad…" She sighed, snaking her arms around herself for comfort, "But with the mist so close, sometimes it feels like a cage… Like I've been underground for too long, and just want to go out and see the stars and the sun on a regular basis… Do you understand what I mean?"
"I do…" He nodded, blonde bangs falling in front of his eyes. "I really do…"
"You can't sleep?" She asked him.
He smirked a lopsided grin, "I can't…" He tapped his head lightly. "Dagger found out a couple of hours ago that I had a concussion… Took her long enough!" He let out a soft chuckle, "But she won't let me go to bed, even though she passed out a long time ago…"
The woman didn't say anything, simply stared upward, trying to squint – to see any sort of light.
For a long moment, they sat in silence. "You like her…"
"What?" He asked, a blush creeping up his face. Yeah, he didn't generally try and hide the fact that he cared about Dagger more than he should, but he didn't think a total stranger could figure that out.
Lysandra turned to smile at him lightly. "The Princess… You like her…"
"Ahh…" Well he was caught, might as well live up to it. "Yes, I do…"
"You love her…" She observed again, a wider grin on her face this time. It was weird how approachable she'd become – far less arrogant and pushy – after they'd completed their challenge in Ipsen's Castle to find the mirrors.
Zidane smiled, staring at the sky. "I think I do, yes…"
"That must be nice…"
"You love Nathan, don't you? Steiner's brother?" He'd overheard some other people talking about it when he'd been wondering the halls earlier, trying to find a peaceful spot to rest when he couldn't go to sleep.
She let out a sigh, and closed her eyes. It was silent again, and they heard the rare chirp of a cricket not too far away. "I do… But sometimes, I wish he didn't know that."
"What do you mean?"
"He would do anything for me…"
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"
She smiled. "It is… And you have a good head on your shoulder, and a pure heart in your chest to think so… But I wouldn't have him do it…" She stared at him, suddenly very serious, her black hair falling over her shoulder as she turned in his direction. "I will die someday, Zidane… It won't be of natural causes… It was my birthright to begin to lead this place, and I know that will get me killed, whether I decide to rally a group and join your cause or not…"
"Well that's kind of a bad way to look at it," He argued gently.
She shook her head. "No… It's not…" She smiled, "I've heard of you, you know…" She changed the subject momentarily.
"What?"
"We may live in a pile of rocks, but I've heard of the escaped dreamers… I was not completely arrogant when you stepped out on my threshold… It seems to me, that you don't have very good chances of survival either."
"Ahh…" He chewed on his lip for a moment, before offering her a shrug to which she laughed. "You got me."
"But this is the reason I do not wish for Nathan to love me…"
It slowly started to click together in the teenager's mind, what she spoke of.
"I do not wish for him to deal with the loss… I don't want him to be upset when I'm gone. Even though I know he would be, I think it would hurt a little less, if he didn't know I loved him… because then he would have never openly admitted he loved me back."
"I think that your theory is flawed."
She glanced at him with a startled look. Her own words took her into a daze – a sad one, full of realization and future. But with his words, she was surprised. How could someone in a worse situation than she, be optimistic about something as weary as love?
"I think that you wouldn't have a reason to go out there and sacrifice your life if it wasn't for love. If you didn't love your family, who was here before you… and love the people you grew up with, and the people you're now close to… Why would you want to put your life on the line? There wouldn't be anything to live for…"
"But then they wouldn't suffer."
"With suffering comes great joy…" He shrugged, "At least, that's what I always thought and experienced. I think it's better to let someone know how you feel, and then see where it takes you… Sometimes, that could save their life, or vise versa…"
She stared at him for a while, watching as he nonchalantly leaned back on the palms of his hands and smiled up at the mist.
"What do you see when you smile to the heavens?" She asked lightly.
"I imagine the stars… It's been a long time… But I know that behind the mist and the clouds and the sadness in this world, they're still shining – waiting for those who appreciated them once upon a time to come back and do it again…"
They fell silent, listening to the wind blow gently against the canyon around them. Along with the lone chirping of the cricket, the breeze sounded like a simple harmony, gently playing around them in a battered requiem.
"Those starts are your loved ones…" She told him, and this time, he locked eyes with her. "I see it in your face… Dagger and the redhead – Blank. The Bermecian, Freya was it? I see Marcus and that chubby one on your team –Cinna, right?- and I see love for Vivi, the other dreamer, and even Beatrix and Steiner. I see the sparkle in your eyes that go hand in hand with your fondness for people that I've never even met… And I think that's how you still see the stars through all of clouded messes in this world…"
He tilted his head, a slow smile spreading on his face. "I guess that's true…"
"And since you have stars, you want to keep them safe?"
"You have no idea…"
"I agree with you, Zidane Tribal…" She smiled, standing up and bending down over him. "That if we didn't tell others how we felt, our shells wouldn't be full of a soul to carry out the purpose we end up dying for…" She nodded, "You make sense when you speak of that…"
"But?" He winked at her, knowing it was coming.
"That doesn't mean, that people with such awful chances of survival should hold back the ones we love."
"What do you mean?"
'I may love Nathan… And he knows that… But we aren't permanent. We sit up until the late hours of the morning, lost in the moment, wishing that we could stay together… But we never make promises to each other… He is not 'mine', and I'm not 'his'."
"But you –"
"He has the option. He will someday still be hurt if I die –when I die- but I told him long ago that he should forget about me… Someday, he'll have to, don't you think?"
"I don't think you're going to be dying any time soon…" He smiled, "That's what we're here for… To stop people from dying."
"I wish I was brave like you, Zidane…" She told him honestly. Someone ten years younger than she was more courageous than everyone she knew put together.
"You are brave… What you're doing is brave."
"Not quite like you though…" She pulled him up and heard the crinkling of the grass beneath her. She felt the dew on the back of her pants, and Lysandra figured it was probably getting late. "Give Dagger a choice…"
"You're asking me to kind of… dump her?"
She shrugged, "I think you should tell her what your heart says… But I think you should never trap someone into a commitment with the times of war and death… Please don't look down on me because of my views… It's just… too easy to hurt people."
"Believe me – this isn't the first time I've mulled over telling her that."
The woman smiled, "I'm glad I met you…"
"We're going to be leaving this area soon, aren't we?"
She nodded, "I'm holding a meeting tomorrow morning for those who want to fight… Our departure will hopefully be soon after."
"Are you nervous?"
"Beyond belief… But I'll manage… Come find me tomorrow, I have something for you and Vivi…" She waved at him. "Have a good night, Zidane…" But before he could reply, she was gone.
A/N: So that conversation was a little harder than I originally thought it was going to be. I know their time in Ipsen's castle seems way too short, but trust me… I've got nothing else planned for it, so it would be a long boring stretch nobody wants to listen to.
I edited this like five times to make sure it was understandable and realistic. You guys should be flattered – I hardly ever read over my chapters even once This is a big deal!
Thanks to everyone who's still sticking with me!
-zesty-
