A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for sticking with me and this story.
Sorry for the long-awaited updates and the fact that this is just a
re write of chapter 4 BUT I will do better I promise... or at least try
to do better I just wanted to change the trajectory of this story a
bit so bear with me, on the plus side I plan to update the story
twice today so chapter 5 should be up right after this.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to or affiliated with the Twilight
franchise, all of which belongs to Stephanie Meyer
Bella POV
I sat in that bathroom in utter disbelief, my life was in shambles. I
called off my engagement, I cheated on my fiancé, I pushed my best
friend away and I finally realized that I loved him, he imprinted on
someone else, and now I am pregnant with his child. This couldn't
be more of a slap in the face from the universe "get it together Bella"
I muttered to myself wiping my face and finally exiting the bathroom.
On the way back to Charlie's I couldn't stop thinking about what I
should do, this was going to change everything, but was I ready for
that? I have no idea, but I decided before jumping to any extreme
conclusions I should make a doctor's appointment to confirm the
pregnancy.
I made the appointment for the next day hoping I just got a false
positive and could run away from everything and start over " Hi Ms.
Swan I am Dr. Aldrige, I hear you came to see me for a positive
pregnancy test" she said smiling as she entered the room, I tried to
imitate the smile but it probably look closer to a grimace " y-yes " I
stuttered nerves getting the best of me " Ok first things first, do you
remember your last period?" she said ready to document my
answer. Oh god when was my last period? I had no idea, with
everything going on I hadn't paid it much attention "I don't know" I
muttered " That is fine, I just needed a urine sample and I will be
right back with your test results" I nodded in response as the small
hope started to vanish everything was happening so fast and I just
needed everything to slow down for once. " Alright miss Swan,
congratulations you are indeed pregnant" she said " I- uh, ok" I was
lost for words, I wanted to express how I felt but I wasn't sure how I
felt " we want you back here in a week, to see the baby and get an
estimate on how far along you are, How is next Friday?" she asked "
it's fine" I muttered " ok, great and if you have any questions or
concerns before then feel free to call the office" she said getting up
from her seat.
On the ride home I sobbed, which became a constant thing lately.
What was I going to do? Should I keep it? How will I tell everyone?
Should I tell everyone? Who should I tell first? All these questions
rang in my head all at once. I still didn't know the answer to the most
important question, should I tell Jacob. I wasn't even sure if I wanted
to keep it, I would never want to give birth to a baby in this mess I
created.
Jacobs POV
Being away from Bella felt like I was dying inside but she chose what
she wanted in life, and it wasn't me. Seeing her that day, seeing her
sick was devastating, every time I thought I could make it without
her she would come back, it made sense she was my imprint, but
she doesn't love me like I love her so it's time to move on. I couldn't
allow myself to be someone's second option she was married going
to get married and die. I finally got a little happiness through those
dreadful days when I met Ana.
Flash back*
I sat in the sand at the beach alone. With nothing but my thoughts, I
couldn't believe the love of my life was going to die, well become a
vampire but it was all the same to me.
"Can I join you" an unfamiliar voice chimed.
"no" I snipped.
"Cool… I'm Liliana but I go by Ana…and you are?" she said sitting
next to me.
"Not interested in small talk" why wouldn't she get a clue.
"Grumpy… it's ok the feistier the better its good for character and I
like my friends to have a little personality." She said smiling at me.
"I don't want or need your friendship" I huffed growing slightly
irritated at the fact she wasn't catching the hint.
"no one needs friends… they are just good to have especially when
you're feeling alone" she noted, removing the small bag off her back,
taking out a sandwich.
"Would you like a piece … it's turkey and cheddar because people
who eat ham honestly scare me."
"So… people who eat bacon must make you want to jump out of
your skin" I stated raising an eyebrow she replied she an
exaggerated shudder.
"They are absolutely maniacal." She said wrapping her arms around
herself which made me chuckle.
"Oh, wow he has a personality…and a really amazing smile which
you should do more often, Mr. mystery" she said ripping her
sandwich in half handing me a piece.
"it's Jake."
End flashback*
She made everything easier, Bella's name still brought pain, but
having Ana around made it bearable.
"What are you thinking about?" she said coming in wrapping her
arms around me.
"you" I said.
"Well good I was beginning to think you found something more
interesting to run through your mind" she said giving me a peck on
the cheek, we just enjoyed each other's company we had no labels
Except that we were good friends and I appreciate that she
understood my heart was stilling healing.
"Breakfast is ready and of course I added the real villain of the day
bacon" she giggled leaving the room. Today her warm smile and
laughter couldn't help me from the absence ache I got from not
being around my imprint especially since she needed me, she was
sick.
I decided to call her but all I got was her voicemail. I wanted to go
over there and take care of her but I knew that I couldn't, she didn't
want or need me the way I need her so a phone call to check up on
her would just have to do, and I will keep calling until I get answer,
until I know she is ok.
Bella POV
The week had come and gone. A week of crying, morning sickness,
Jake calling at least ten times a day leaving voicemails asking if I
was ok, and sleepless nights. This pregnancy and the situation I'm
in made it all the worst but today I was going to see the baby that
was wreaking havoc on my body, the entire time I was waiting to be
seen, even when they took my vitals all I could think about was Jake.
Laying on that table as the doctor squeezed this blue jelly on my
stomach felt like an out of body experience. Then the screen lit up
and there in all its glory was the baby "Ms. Swan you about 10
weeks" the nurse said. Couldn't take my eyes off the screen, which
was my baby. Me and Jake's baby "you are one of the lucky ones,
you are almost out of the first trimester and the morning sickness
should subside" she said as she wiped the jelly off my stomach and
printed out the ultrasound.
Pregnant, I Bella Swan was pregnant, the weight and the realization
of this situation weighed in and to add to this cruel joke, the father
wasn't my estranged boyfriend who I wasn't sure I still wanted to be
with, it was my best friend who I was sure was happy without me. I
stared at the ultrasound; the blob vaguely resembled a baby staring
back at me 'ok Bella, what's first' I thought, standing up examining
myself in the mirror, grazing my hand over my abdomen. There was
a slight bump that could easily be mistaken for bloat 'I am about 10
weeks now and not noticeably showing so I can hide it...do I even
want this baby' I thought and immediately reprimanded myself,
typical me wanting to take the easy way out of a mess I created, but
I didn't want to bring this baby into my fucked-up reality, and I didn't
want to ruin Jacob's life more than I had "Jake I could really use your
support right now" I muttered to myself tears prickling my eyes, I
wiped away the stray tears that had fallen and picked up my phone I
needed to talk to someone " Hey can you meet me in Port Angelos
at that cafe on Struan?... please and please come alone... and don't
tell anyone you are meeting me, I just really need to talk to
someone" I said my shakily "Sure, Swan" she said hanging up the
phone.
Walking into the cafe I saw a less than thrilled Leah waiting for me, I
felt like she was the best option to get advice from because she
would be brutally honest with me "I'm glad you came... I wasn't sure
you would, does anyone know you are here" I asked her while I sat
across from her "if by people you mean Jacob, he has no idea I am
here now quit wasting my time Swan, what did you need to talk
about so badly you called me of all people" she snipped " I need
your advice" I said "my advice to you don't call my phone again
wasting the only free time I had today" she scoffed standing up to
leave " Wait!... Leah I'm pregnant" I said hurriedly, she froze for a
moment and sat back down "you are such a horrible person... and
for some God forsaken reason everyone thinks you are some kind of
saint and you're not, in fact you are the furthest thing from it... you
drag Jacob along, tell him you love him only not enough, get married
to his mortal enemy, sport around that huge horrendous ring, get
pregnant with some monster baby, and then you call me, to what?
Help you drag Jake into your screwed up life... How could you do
this to him? You're his impr- he loves you and all you keep doing is
dragging him into your bullshit because you know he will come and
honestly, I-" she fumed but I cut her off "I'm not married and Jacob
is the father" I whispered knowing most of what she said was true I
was horrible but it didn't make it hurt any less " How do you know
it's Jacob's?" she questioned
"Because Edward barely wants to kiss me let alone have sex with
me" I said taking the ultrasound out of my pocket sliding it across
the table "I'm 10 weeks" I told her "Have you told Jacob or anyone
else?" she asked "no" I said "Why?" she asked sliding the image
back to me " I just found out myself and that's why I called you, I
don't want to hurt Jacob more than I have already have" I said " I can
only tell you one thing this life doesn't bring many joys, especially
for people like me and Jake, our life was decided for us as soon as
we phased and one of the joys I will never experience is children...
tell him, he deserves to know even if you decide not to keep it and
don't take too long to tell or I will" she said getting up and leaving.
The only thing this conversation helped me figure out was things I
already knew, that I am a horrible person, and I need to tell Jacob I
am pregnant. I still wasn't sure if I wanted this baby but I was sure I
didn't want to lose Jacob.
